#whatever happened exploring darker themes..

[murderofravens]

tumblr users when writers write about horrible men being horrible men:

[hellspawnmotel]

I’m genuinely wondering here, but you’re not like, wholly obsessed just with the weird route and all the creepy, forced on romance stuff right? I say this as someone who’s known that you’ve done a lot of analysis on the weird route and such, from reposts mostly of your art, and I just wanted to ask that cause honestly, you never know if someone who talks extensively about vile things that happened to children in media are people who want to just analyze how media handles such grave and sensitive topics or just genuine creeps.

I know that sounds deranged and maybe pearl clutchingly puritan, but sadly it isn’t like it’s completely unheard. Like, some creator of Fnaf fan game for example, dormitabus or whatever, made the purple guy a child rapist and then it turns out the creator was a groomer themself. So I hope you understand why some people are always going to have their guards up when it comes to media that explores horrific things such Child sexual assault, suicide, murder and so on and even just discussions about that, in case some seem to be a little to off-puttingly obsessed with it.

I understand your apprehension, I've been on the internet (and in the world) long enough that I've seen plenty of examples of what you're talking about. it's often really hard to tell the difference between somebody who genuinely wants to talk about and analyze darker topics in a compassionate way, and somebody who's just being a pervert about it, especially when the phrase "I explore darker topics" has unfortunately become something of a red flag on its own. there are lots of creeps out there, and they can be really good at pretending theyre not (so they can keep being creeps easier). which is all to say, I don't blame you for worrying.

I don't know how comforting this is going to be for you, but the truth is that I AM more interested in the weird route than the normal route, generally. I've always been drawn to stories about people going through really horrible shit, especially the ones that do that using a lot of symbolism and metaphors (i.e. alluding to real-world issues using absurd or fantastical circumstances). I've liked that sort of thing since I was six years old watching digimon tamers on fox kids and acting out my toys dramatically killing each other. I like irreversible tragedy and trauma and seeing characters cope in the aftermath, but portrayed through the lens of fantasy so it feels safer to engage with. so of course that's something I want to also explore in my own work.

I will say though, that the weird route's forced romance stuff in specific isn't what draws me to it. it's the fact that it combines a lot of different concepts and themes I'm interested in- genre deconstruction, fantasy tropes, metanarrative, gender, autonomy, doing a "this comfortable and familiar story but Fucked Up" thing, I could go on. I would probably still be crazy about it without the weird divorcecore angle. it's just like, catnip for me lol. but my main goal is always to use the things I love to enrich the lives of other people and cause as little harm as possible while doing that.

but really I can't convince you of anything. the choice as to whether or not you're comfortable with my work and how I express these feelings, is not up to me. that's entirely your decision and I don't expect everybody who looks at what I make to want to keep looking at it. that's the risk you take when making art of any kind. I can tell you sincerely that when I discuss or portray "darker topics" I always try to do it with empathy and understanding, and without exploiting the situation or people involved, but it's entirely up to you whether or not you trust that I'm coming from a decent place with that, and whether or not I'm doing it successfully is going to change based on personal opinion too. but even though it's your decision, when you DO choose to put your trust in somebody like that, and that trust is broken, it's not at all your fault. we NEED trust in order to function socially, and somebody betraying that is never the responsibility of the person being betrayed. the burden shouldn't be on you to sniff out when a relationship, even the relationship between writer and reader, is being exploited or misused.

if you decide to trust that I'm being truthful and I have good intentions, and trying my hardest to be respectful, that's a massive compliment to me and I wear it as a badge of honor. if not, I won't take offense and I'll keep trying to do right by these subjects when I create anyway. ✌️

[lemonlimestar]

hm. i thought maybe i would. cool down a little after sleeping but that doesn’t seem to be the case so i just wanna say: if you are engaging with a piece of media that contains some darker subject material, completely sanitizing it and reworking the story to the point where it’s barely recognizable is going to read as lazy to me. sorry.

furthermore, if you make a previously white character black, and then proceed to change all of their important story beats by giving them an actually completely disconnected story from their very important origins, imma look at u sideways. especially when said character’s actual story (which includes themes of autonomy & exploitation) can absolutely work under the lense of this character being black. in fact, i’ve made it work! maybe i don’t post about it, but i could tell u multiple ways that this character being made black makes certain story beats hit harder. and makes u wanna hit said character’s early “support system” with hammers harder.

the idea that the only way for this character to be black is so 1) take them out of the spotlight (their whole thing) 2) make them a Homeless Black Teen™️ (which, to be fair, does happen a couple times during said character’s actual story but is nowhere near their whole deal. this is worth exploring but a nonblack person just slapping this onto a black character whose original origins didn’t really have anything to do with it? again, side-eyeing u.) 3) lowkey zap out a huge chunk of their personality to make them more…. brooding, was, to be frank, obnoxious to me.

while it was annoying, i figured i was just being judgmental, or maybe reading into it too much. it’s not my cup of tea, and i feel sort of patronized by the idea that this is Fixing the story, but whatever.

and then. and then i opened up tumblr and i saw a post that made me wanna eat glass. now u may be thinking, that is like 70% (90%?) of tumblr posts but oh no. u don’t get it. it was so unreal. because, surely the same people who (rightfully!) complained about the predatory woman of color trope and how it can connect to one of the character mentioned previously’s other ””””””love interests”””””” in the way that she’s perceived in fandom even if the writer thought it was fine, surely they wouldn’t take a white woman whose first ever appearances in the history of this piece of media are literally her being a groomer (and yet she still got redeemed and to be bisexual while the other woman, a woc, gets violently killed off to fuel our white boy main character’s journey) and make her a fat black woman. surely.

surely, they wouldn’t completely rework her to be a different character entirely. surely. surely, they wouldn’t make the hypersexual, boundary-ignoring, child predator lady who calls a 15 year old “jailbait” within a few issues of existence a fat black woman. you know, who are often portrayed as hypersexual to their (our) fucking detriment, who have violence done to them (us) because of this racist ass idea.

to this i just ask… do u even have a black person to like, sound this shit off of? a black fan of this work specifically? because if not… i can fucking tell. none of this is revolutionary, none of this is Fixing the story. in fact! new racist problems are just being created! congratulations! and i try to be nice, i really do, but honestly i do not care if i sound cranky or mean because being black in fandom and watching shit like this get continuously applauded is exhausting. there are so many ways to rework sb94/superboy’s story, none of which include making knockout a black woman.

[theresattrpgforthat]

Alright, I have a weird one. Are there any TTRPGS that revolve around Coral? That, or have coral as an important element of the game?

Oh my gosh my ask box apparently ate this for MONTHS and finally decided to spit this back. Let's see what we've got!

THEME: Coral

Descent into Midnight, by Rich Howard, Taylor LaBresh, and Richard Kreutz-Landry.

At its heart, Descent into Midnight (DiM) is a game about community, family, and hope. It's a tabletop roleplaying game that takes place in a technologically advanced aquatic civilization whose culture has never been touched by humanity. Bioengineering and psionic, or mental, powers allow the strange and varied species to communicate and interact with their surroundings no matter their physiology.

In the game, players take on the roles of guardians, defending their community from a physical, emotional, and even existential threat. The game focuses on the relationships between the guardians, the inhabitants they protect, and their internal struggles and dreams in the face of a corruption that threatens to change their world.

You can play as whatever you like in Descent in to Midnight, including fish, plants, even abstract concepts - so a shelf of coral isn’t really that much of a stretch. The playbooks (yes, playbooks, this is a PbtA game) are centred more about your personality, and what you look like is secondary. The game is designed to take a turn for the darker before it pushes towards hope, so I think your game experience will be different depending on whether this is a one-shot or a long-form campaign.

Delve Deeper, by Maik.

A complete new game of under-oceanic adventuring and exploration. 

Play as intelligent oceanic folks such as the cephaliin octopoids, the crustaciin crab-folk and the fish-like merfolk and explore the coral reefs, open seas and abyssal trenches in search for adventure, pearls and treasure.

You don’t play as coral in this game, but you’re certainly exploring it! Taking nods from games such as Troika!, Electric Bastionland, and Brave Zenith, this game feels solidly inside the OSR camp, but with a special love for the wacky and weird. If you want to have a particular connection to the coral reefs, you’ll likely want to play as a Merfolk, who build cities from the coral and rule as a matriarchal society. This game is full of lore, but not extensively so - it’s only 33 pages long in total. But I think you’ll probably come away from reading Delve Deeper with a pretty strong sense of what this underwater kingdom is like.

Reefs of Despair, by Zaftikat

You are a sea anemone, stuck firm in an ocean that will soon be inhospitable to you. Grapple with climate change as you explore fatalism and ennui.

Sea anemones aren’t coral but they’re kind of close right?

Now this game is neat. It uses popcorn as a resolution mechanic - how cool is that? You have to pop the popcorn in a stove-top vessel, rather than a microwave, because you have to count how many popcorn kernels pop at first pop - the more there are, the better your outcome. Apart from that, your character has two stats: Ennui and Fatalism. These stats rise and fall similar to the way stats raise and fall in Honey Heist - with a similar outcome if you get too high or too low, by ending the game. There’s also a third end state for what happens once you’ve popped all the kernels, but I’ll leave that one for folks who decide to download this game and read it.

The game also is donating proceeds to the Coral Restoration Foundation, so in a roundabout way, I guess it was about coral all along.

Other Games You Should Check Out

Bones Deep, by Technical Grimoire. (You should really check this one out.)

[picnokinesis]

HI!!! sorry if this is out of the blue but I just read "disarmed" and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!! I am going insane over it and I needed you to know!!!! I am really into blood and gore especially when it comes to thoschei (I would read about them destroying each other over and over again in any way really, especially in fucked up ways where they almost kill each other and kinda enjoy it), but somehow it's really difficult to find a good fic that is ACTUALLY that descriptive and visceral, and it's especially harder to find one that has no smut (I don't really like smut so it was amazing to find a fic that fits all my criteria). I was hooked from the first chapter and oh my god I don't usually read ffs and when I do I usually skip the ones with more than two chapters but I literally got recommended this one on here after I asked for specific recs and after reading the first chapter I was like oh my god this is insane and went through it all at once I even had dinner eating with my phone in my hand reading with eyes wide open 😭😭 aaaaaa. Also I am a sucker for spydoc with religious undertones and I always yap about wanting more fics that explore that so those lines here and there where the doctor is described as a god in the master's eyes were a really nice surprise (I am obsessed with them). And the doctor-laika parallels !!!!!!! insane !!!!!!!! And on top of this I LOVE temporal loops so what more could I want?????? this was a beautiful read and I'm gonna think about it for a while ....thank you for this...wow

Oh my days HI HELLO this is SO lovely AHH thank you so so much!!!!

Okay first off - real talk, I feel your pain EXACTLY. I'm a firm believer in people writing whatever they want, however I am sex-repulsed, and so genuinely just can't read smut. Thus, with any fandom I'm in, there's always a ton of fics that just are not for me. But on the other hand, I love whump, blood and gore - especially the sort you can get with spydoc, where the violence is intimacy and the intimacy is violence. But, as you said, it's really hard to find content in any context that explores darker adult themes, but also doesn't go into sexual territories too. I think the most obvious example of this is like, horror movies? So many horror movies have sex in them rip

BUT YEAH SO LIKE...if you're looking for that sort of fic, you have absolutely come to the right person oh my days, like that's PRECISELY my brand lmao. I am so honoured and utterly delighted that 1) someone recced by fics to you 2) you enjoyed disarmed this much like ahh!! Also, the fact that you read it whilst eating dinner is sending me, you're a brave soul hahaha, but ahhhhh <3 <3 <3 BUT YEAH it's about them being entangled in each other and hating it, about them trying to cut these threads tying them together and only ending up knotting themselves up tighter. The religious undertones thing gets me so much as well though, because it's like - the Master thinks that the timeless child stuff makes the Doctor like a god, even though it doesn't, it just makes her a child that was exploited, but HE sees her that way and it's really fun to play with that. I definitely used the line 'irreverent reverence' in a fic somewhere once, regarding how the Master looks at the Doctor, and that's the exact vibe. I think Disarmed in particular is my most rancid fic, mostly because I gave myself permission to go ham with it. It was a story that had been sitting in the back of my brain for years, and so actually making it happen was such a cool process - even though, at times, I lowkey hated it haha. Disarmed is like a feral cat that scratches your arm raw when you try and hold it hahah

Okay but if you want more fics, I can dig some up for you. I guess it depends on what you want? Unfortunately, the best example of "extremely visceral gore but no sex" spydoc that I can think of is not on ao3 anymore, and I made the mistake of not downloading it, but it's by river_of_words on ao3 and if it ever shows up again, I believe it's called 'the unusual hungers of theta and koschei' - and it is extremely rancid but also gorgeously written, and horrifying. That is easily the goriest one. There was also another one that weirdpug wrote for whumptober one year but that's also gone. However! I can rec you a few more that range from gory to heavy whump to general whump:

Fics by other people:

the art of dying by lupescx (where the Master keeps getting killed and the Doctor keeps reviving him)

my greatest escape is my biggest mistake by BlueLillyBlue (ft bloody swordfight between the Doctor and the Master)

what's life like bleeding on the floor? (currently on anon but this one only posted yesterday and it's FABULOUS)

Blood In The Waters by Val_Creative (the Master finds the Doctor dead in a rather horrific way)

As a rule: you should read everything by SleepyMaddy and empty_of_dust just in general because they both write fantastic spydoc. They don't really write gore as such, but they do write these two trying to destroy each other quite often, and definitely write blood and whump on occasion haha. To narrow down their whumpiest fics, off the top of my head you should check out:

i'm all yours (but you're all mine) - (ft the Doctor psychically torturing the Master)

swimming through mercury - (ft the Master having a pretty gnarly arm injury whilst fighting off the Cyberium)

these eyes are made of winter - (this is more psychic whump? It's excellent - divisioned!Doctor vs the Master)

it makes me who i am (i burned it all but i'm doing fine) - (again, psychic injury, but there is blood!)

and without you (is how i disappear) - (the Doctor threatens to cut up her and the Master's shared timeline)

And then, this one is more of a character study for the Master, but it's fantastic - the gardener by riptheh - and involves the Master doing a lot of murder, however it's not that explicit in terms of blood and stuff.

Fics by me:

Outside of Disarmed, by two goriest fics are definitely:

and i find you all unwoven - (aka the heart surgery one)

i'm the paper cut that kills you - (aka another timeloop one!)

There's also scalpel (the Doctor rescues the Master from black market surgeons, and is grumpy about it the whole time) which isn't gory as such but it does match the rancid vibes of Disarmed.

don't go (you're half of me now) - (ft the Doctor and the Master dying together because they mutually murdered each other)

your ex-lover remains dead (i'll kill who you hate) - not gory, but the Master and the Doctor do psychic surgery on each other whilst holding off their regenerations? I don't think this one ended up being that visceral at all, compared to Disarmed, but I do describe the psychic surgery like brain surgery, if that's of interest.

Translation Notes - not gory, but it does focus, again, on a psychic injury which I use a lot of visceral imagery to describe. Fundamentally though this one is about linguistics haha

And then there's also my zombie au but if you're not one for multi-chapters as a rule, and if you're not into AUs then this probably isn't the one for you, but I thought it'd mention it anyway! It's got a lot of violence and blood but actually this one is really more about trauma and virology than anything else lmao (but it is also 100% about the relationship between the Doctor and the Master, so...)

I can't think of anything else off the top of my head but hope this keeps you busy for a while! :D But thank you so much for this ask, this was SO lovely!! And definitely let me know if you find any other non-sexual bloodthirsty spydoc fics, or have any gore/whump related thoughts with regards to these two!!

[mottiebooknerd]

Searching for RP partner!

Hello Hello!

I´m 27 so I´m only searching people who are 21+.

My discord seems a little empty and dry lately so I need a new partner/partners to write with!

I write in 3rd person so that is a must. I´m semi lit so it´s required that you can write at least 2 paragraphs as a reply.

Themes can wary for whatever we feel like. I prefer to write over discord where we can have an OOC chat and make multiple servers for different roleplays we have going or plots we wanna explore.

I´m mostly into darker and more adult plots. Smut is kinda a must, mostly because it´s fun and often hot to write. I have a male switch OC but I´m mostly interested in rp from different animes or universes. We can of course make OCs from said animes or universes and build a plot together. Dead dove can happen too if we agree.

content I currently enjoy:

Alien Stage

Heartsteel

PLAVE

My Hero Academia

The Summer Hikaru Died

Jujustu Kaisen

Devil´s Line

To Be Hero X

[lilderitter]

Hi Lil! First of all, thank you for coming onto tumblr and sharing all that you have with us. I really appreciate it!

I just wanted to ask if you had anything extra to share about Nia’s storylines in books 2 and 3, since she’s my favorite character in all of the Blades of Light and Shadow series.

Her storyline in book 2 was my favorite in the series, especially with the aspect of coming to accept the “darker” or “shadow” parts of yourself, so to speak. I believe that you said you focused on more of Tyril and Mal as characters, but I would still love to hear whatever you want to share on this, even just your own thoughts or interpretations. Thanks again!

Hello! Thank you so much for asking and usual caveat that I'm no longer at Pixelberry so this isn't official current canon, just what I remember slash where my head was at.

Shadow!Nia is so important to Book 2's themes and the series' themes in general, so I'm so glad that it resonated with you! I adore Nia, and I did do some of the building out on her relationship with the Temple and the Light (particularly the Mother of Grey being her Patron Light and the concept of Patron Lights in general. I grew up around a lot of Jesuits because my dad is a professor at a Jesuit college even though he is a militant atheist, and I'm Italian American, so I've always found the concept of Catholic saints really fascinating). I handled some of the initial stuff on Nia and Raine's conversation before and after Ventra's funeral in Book 2 because we wanted her to be able to participate and talk about her journey in the book without imposing her belief system on Ventra since Orcs aren't Light worshippers, which is why Imtura invites her to participate rather than her just doing it. (Also Imtura asking her to participate is also a bit of foreshadowing for Book 3, where Imtura is trying to decide how she feels about the afterlife now that she's been running around with people who have different beliefs from her.)

Since we were dismantling the Elven Pantheon and the Temple even further than Book 1 did, it did feel important to show that Nia's faith doesn't have to be defined by the corruption the party discovers at the heart of the Elven Pantheon, because everyone's relationship to the divine (or just the concept of the divine) is personal. As the Blades equivalent of a cleric (in the D&D sense), Nia's felt the very real warmth and power the Light can give her, and she's used it to heal, protect, and take care of people, which is what's most important to her. The Temple doesn't get to police that, not ever, just like they don't get to police her negative emotions or moments where she lacks decorum or control.

At its heart, Shadow magic is about giving in to impulse and instinct. There is nothing inherently good or bad about that. It's all about what those impulses are. Nia's been suppressing her negative emotions and beating herself up for so long that when she gives herself even a sliver of permission to let go, all her suppressed emotions come with it, which is how we get her (super badass) Shadow appearance.

Part of what we wanted to explore in Book 2 is the idea that imposing a good/evil dichotomy onto appearance (especially when the "evil" appearance visibly deepens the skintone of a character like Aerin) is a problematic construction, which is party of why Isador and Nyra are there. Isador might veer toward concepts of evil because she prioritizes herself (and to a lesser extent Nyra) over others, but Nyra's "corruption" is in many ways more about her initial guilt for trying to "climb above her station."

Shadow!Nia isn't mean or dismissive because Shadow magic "took over." It's a manifestation of what happens when you punish yourself for your negative and uncharitable thoughts instead of acknowledging that everyone has them to some degree and what matters is how you impact others as a result. Shame can be a necessary and useful tool for when people hurt others, but punishing yourself often ends up just being a way of making a situation where you hurt someone else about how /you/ feel instead of how you can make amends. I honestly can't imagine Nia has intentionally harmed anybody outside of battle before her transformation, but any time she's had the impulse to do so, or to even just say something mean or selfish (or even just assert her own boundaries), she's spiraled about how bad a person she is because that's how she was raised. When she gives herself permission to let go, she assumes it's evil and therefore "looks" evil (once again, within the framework of how she was raised.)

Other Nia thoughts in no particular order:

The awesome little team I worked on at Pixelberry (who also did the Cursed Heart series and had just finished up Wake the Dead when I joined, truly one of my favorite VNs) had some very clear beliefs about genre that tend to go against the mold, especially for fantasy: no chosen ones and no "good" empires. While corrupt officials and deposing a king or religious leader are tried and true tropes, often the solution that's offered at the end is for the MC to take on that position of authority because they are inherently a good person and will do better of course. (Ask the characters in Dune how that turned out, ey?) The thing I adore about Nia is that she is actually that good a person, so she ends up in an almost Joan of Arc position where she's having to speak truth to power while grappling with her own feelings of guilt about not being the "perfect" Light worshipper.

Bear with me, but if you haven't seen Conclave, it is a great place to get a LOT of Nia feels. I won't spoil things, but there is a character Nia would adore, and I think one of the things that Nia has always struggled with is finding the confidence to interpret the texts that she loves so much in her own eyes and through her own sense of right and wrong. That's not something that the Temple really supports, but I know pretty much all the Old God aside from Nifara are so proud of her.

I know some people felt that Nia was underserved in Book 3 in terms of screentime, but if you look over the course of the whole series, she's had a lot of progress and growth in 1 & 2, much like Tyril, so at least for me personally, it felt more fair to give some of that potential screentime to someone like Imtura, who still needed room to process the loss of her mother and what it means about her relationship to her own culture because there wasn't time to do that at the end of Book 2.

Also I know it's controversial but confident and even domme Nia is my fave Nia. I love it when cinnamon rolls come into their power. Long live our true Patron Light, reluctant [Morella equivalent of] Pope Nia Ellarious.

[fayes-fics]

I got a comment on ao3 about my latest series that I think warrants a clarifying post here too.

The whole point of this particular series is an exploration of the free use kink/dynamic. There is intentionally no intimacy. The agreement she signs in the first fic in the series sets out what the series is about. It states there will be no foreplay, no kissing, no hugging. That also means little to no aftercare.

The series does contain darker/edgier themes. There is a huge power imbalance as she is their employee and relatively inexperienced. She was not coerced into signing and is very enthused/aroused by what is happening, but arguably they could be seen to be taking advantage of her in some ways. If anyone feels the reader is being ‘used’ in some way, I would strongly recommend they do not continue reading this series.

I have written literally hundreds of other stories with love and intimacy. But this is not that. Intentionally so. And I’m enjoying exploring a universe without those factors. At least for now.

I like to write a variety of content. I’ve written everything from 3 sentence drabbles to 45k multi-chapters. From royal palace mazes to 1970s music festivals. From tooth rotting fluff to hard bdsm. I’m aware that means some of my content may not be for everyone, but I do try my best to be thorough with my warnings on my fics, so people can be responsible with their own choices of what to read/engage with.

Thanks for reading whatever content of mine that you enjoy 😁🧡🧡

[the-nagakenny-archives]

I’ve had to block a few people lately over certain posts not sitting well with people and I get the feeling they were new, so I’m going to be upfront about this again XD

I’m part of the hypnosis fetish community and have been for over a decade (actually getting close to 15 years now, jeez q-q). I’m one of Those People who saw The Jungle Book at a young age and it irreparably affected my brain—one difference I do have is that when I was mature enough to realize what the weird feelings I was having meant, I eventually grew out of Kaa because I realized it wasn’t really him that I liked, but the hypnosis/coiling itself, and so I wanted to explore the themes with characters and settings of my own. Thus, over time, Kenny was created as an avatar for my creative expression in that area. He doesn’t have any real deep lore or backstory (any that I posted here was just me attempting to make him slightly more interesting), he’s just here for a good time—the definition of a “good time” being whatever hypno-y situation I want to draw him in.

Now there have been times when he’s leaked into more “normie” communities—thankfully he’s never gone viral, I think I would die of embarrassment if that ever were to happen—because I’ve drawn him with characters from popular IPs or in recognizable art styles. When that’s happened I’ll sometimes get people coming in being confused and upset because they don’t understand what this is all about, and while I’m self-aware enough to know where they’re coming from with their complaints, I have to block them for the good of my own mental health (and probably theirs too, they don’t have to see posts that upset them from me anymore LOL).

Part of me does wish I had made Kenny part of something bigger and more digestible for people to enjoy—my childhood dream was to be a Disney animator, and while that’s out the window now, I could have still tried to make something independently. But I guess I’m just content now with doing whatever makes me happy with him—which is why you’ve all been seeing this darker, more menacing version of him lately (that actually belongs to a story that I can hopefully flesh out more). If you’re here for that, awesome, hope you continue to stay and enjoy it. ;v;

[absolutebl]

Ranking Every Restaurant Based BL

As of August 2024. Shows not yet finished by that date are not on this list. Otherwise, features any BL set in the restaurant & beverage industry (that I've watched). I did not include the home cook domestic BLs on this list (like Our Dining Table).

1 To My Star

Korea 2021 Viki

10/10

Hwang Da Seul directing this show about a neurotic actor (actual puppy) who takes refuge with a grumpy chef resulting in sparks, cooking lessons, and LOVE! It’s is a touch quirky to get into, but utterly charming once it hits its stride. This is the ultimate grumpy/sunshine pairing plus the most appealing light-filled kitchen of our dreams. I adore this show so much. Limited use of BL tropes makes this feel more of a sweet contemporary gay romance between an actor plagued by scandal and the grumpy chef who adopts him, but the gentleness will appeal to fans of the BL genre.

2 What Zabb Man!

Thai 2022 YouTube

8/10

Star Hunter's WZM was better than we had any right to expect, with decent pacing and a foodie theme threaded through the narrative as both love language and plot driver. Basically CEO falls in love with a street vendor’s food, recruits him to work in his hotel, falls in love with him, and that’s just the beginning. Class struggles! Kitchen drama! Papaya pounding (not a euphemism)! Chef poaching (not literally)! Spicy scenes (yes both kinds)! It’s all so delicious.

3 DNA Says Love You

Taiwan 2022 Gaga

8/10

Okay it's only in a cafe about 1/2 the time but it is the main setting if not the plot. DNA deserves extra marks for an upbeat approach to a queer story arc that other shows have systemically mishandled with sadness (in the guise of realism). There is a twist, which I found predictable, but knowing what would happen didn't spoil this show. The leads are luminous and engaging, and it’s full of queer found family representation and an unexpected amount of domesticity, plus it’s Taiwan, so the kisses are great. The first few eps are rough going but have patience, it's worth it I promise! The second half is really special and life/love affirming - and the end is big-grin charming.

4 The Tasty Florida

Korea 2021 Viki https://www.viki.com/tv/38119c-the-tasty-florida

8/10

Not really a love triangle featuring the prettiest men ever to be grouped together outside of K-pop, honestly the visuals are ridiculous, there’s a story, it has to do with food, whatever, they so pretty. I have a weakness for this BL and it's entirely Speed's fault.

5 My Day

Pinoy 2020 YouTube

8/10

The set up on this one is enemies (also boss/employee) and they don’t like each other to start. But that gets resolved pretty quickly. And then they are some of the cutest, hottest, and best boyfriends ever. This is an under-appreciated BL, IMHO. It's also more set in the office of a food creation company, but there is a lot about food.

6 My Tooth Your Love

Taiwan 2023 Viki

8/10

Earnest dentist hottie with sad eyes who worries too much is smitten by an adorable sunshine neurotic bar owner with serious anxiety issues. They fall madly in love while courting each other with food, plushies, and naps. Then, shocker, talk about their feelings and try to actually sort out their problems so they can have an adult relationship. Bonus crumbs = 18 year old poor little rich kid in mad crush with a much older man. I really enjoyed this show, it had a unique premise, killer dialogue, there was a solid lead pair with charmg chemistry, soft flirtation, delightful smiling kisses, and stinkingly cute domesticity. All that said, I wasn’t wild about some of the darker themes it explored, even though it did a good job with them. And while the sides were adorable, they were underused. In the land of May/December, baby boy kabedon is my kryptonite! Why so little of it? (Kabedon is My Krytonite = also the name of my indie band’s first single.)

7 All the Liquors

Korea 2023 Viki & Gaga

8/10

A pretty classic foodie set KBL that managed to distinguish itself from others in this category by having a particularly satisfying final episode centered around found family. Sunshine sweetie soju rep gets involved with a shy introvert chef who doesn’t drink. This has a somewhat uneven plot and ridiculous central conceit (much in the way of Tasty Florida), but if you are looking for a restaurant BL with Korea’s signature softness, then this is a great option. FYI I may identify with our baby party boy hedonist more than any other BL lead ever presented.

8 Although I Love You and You - Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka

Japan 2024 Gaga

8/10

The promise of this show, younger cook courts older divorced office worker, should have been my catnip. I mean if someone pitched this to me in an elevator I would have downloaded it by the second storey. Unfortunately, it did not exactly fulfil that promise, not in the way I'd hoped. Did I still enjoy the ride? Yes, but I feel a little let down.

9 Ocean Likes Me

Korea 2022 Viki https://www.viki.com/tv/38367c-ocean-likes-me

8/10

Stars Kpop’s best known out gay singer, Holland & Han Gi Chan (Where Your Eyes Linger). Noodle shop! Broken dreams! This is a solid little KBL, with a good premise and cast. Manic pixie dream boy can get old fast but when contrasted with awkward grumpy chef? It’s a tasty combo that elevates both ingredients. Holland is a charming screen presence - baby boy is HYPNotiC. And while I wasn’t entirely sold on the chemistry, these two did give us some very good kisses and sweet domesticity. I grinned through most episodes and I didn’t even mind the standard KBL 1 year separation at the end because it felt so true to the characters. Is this Korea's first out gay actor in a BL? I think it might be.

10 My Sweet Dear

Korea 2021 Viki

8/10

I liked this one a lot better than most. Strict professional rivals (chefs) in a very enemies to lovers BL - to the point where we mistrust the sincerity of the seme because he’s so very in it to win. I kinda like that, because kitchens are hotbeds of drama, and I like a seme with some sinister edge. But be warned, it means the whole romance comes off as a little disingenuous.

11 You Are Ma Boy

Vietnam 2021 YouTube

7/10

The leads in this drama crackle on screen together and I kinda adore them. No one has seen this BL, and you should really give it a try. Is there angst? Nope even what could have been angst (a gay idol) doesn’t materialize, it’s just cuties in a cafe confusing each other with cat & mouse games. The side het couple is a touch disturbing, tho.

12 My Lascivious Boss

Vietnam 2021 YouTube

7/10

While it did have pacing issues and some questionable content at the beginning, MLB’s unabashed queerness carried it though and ultimately elevated it with camp. It never felt like mockery or punching down, it felt joyful, and very new wave BL. It’s as if Vietnam is starting a process of handing out HEAs to all the letters of LGBTQ+ in BL style - I love this look for them.

13 Pure Vanilla

Singapore 2023 microfilm Gaga

7/10

It’s very sweet. Bit awkward acting. I love seeing real tats. I wish Singapore would give us a full proper BL.

14 La Cuisine

Thai 2022 Gaga

7/10

A sweet and somewhat pure show, and like the Thai desserts it features, perhaps requires too much patience for a layperson. Because of the pacing and the focus on a bad girl character, I did dock it. But if you like stuff in the Oxygen vein, then this show is for you, and far better than most Thai BL pulps. That said, I suspect that I enjoyed it more than many would.

15 My Universe - Lucky Love

Thai 2023 iQIYI

7/10

A boy suffering heartbreak is asked to look after a friend's restaurant, and meets a young chef whose food brings on a relationship. I enjoyed this 2 part installment, it’s a bit of a sad sack recovery SAGA, but the acting is genuine, the couple believable, and the story felt particularly queer to me. It was really quite charming.

16 Cooking Crush

Thai 2024 YouTube

7/10

1/3 of this is a sweet romance about a student doctor falling in love with a student chef, and the rest of it is utter dross. Look the OffGun bits were GREAT. In fact, I think they’re better AS A PAIR in this show than in any of their other BLs. And I'm a hard sell on any OffGun being better here than PickRome. Saying that, how can I review a show where I could only tolerate 1/3 of it? Because I didn’t like any other aspect of this show, no other pairs and no other plots. That gives me: 9/10 for the OffGun bits, 5/10 for everything else. Frankly, it probably should be an 8 but I gotta go with my gut and it's UPSET about this so 7/10. Sorry boys. It’s GMMTV’s fault. Your heart was in this show, mine wasn’t.

17 Love in Translation

Thai 2023 iQIYI

6/10

A sweet little pulp about a Thai boy with a crush on a Chinese influencer who ends up in a business relationship with her ex-bf. This show had truly great chemistry between the leads, cute found family with good rep, and an exciting (if silly) ending that almost, but didn't quite, make up for how incredibly annoying the main character was in the first half. Gotta say the make-out scene in the convenience store is one of the greatest in Thai BL history, but I can't like a show where I dislike the main character to such a degree, sorry DouOffroad I intend to enjoy your next offering.

18 Please Tell Me So

Korea 2021 microfilm YouTube

Cute barista (played by Han Hyun Jun star of Love Class) has a crush on his customer, musters up the courage to ask him out.

19 Love Advisor

Thai 2021 microfilm YouTube

6/10

Set in a cafe but not about cafe workers, this is an actor’s piece, more like a one act stage performance about friends to lovers and miscommunication.

20 VIP Only

Taiwan 2024 Gaga

6/10

A sweet if aimless story about a writer and a chef finding love via noodles, fake dating, and family challenges. If it had a tighter script and a shorter run, more like a KBL this might’ve been quite special. But it didn’t and it lost me too many times.

21 609 Bedtime Story

Thai 2023 WeTV

6/10

Okay it's sometiems set in a club but that's not really part of the... plot. An interesting time slip concept and a great set up ultimately disappointed. It opened strong, on one of my favourite under appreciated Thai actors: Plustor (as Vee) in a side bartender romance with younger bisexual king, Games. Unfortunately, it went downhill from there. OhmFluke’s solid chemistry and romantically soft kisses were ill served by a reformed rake meets rich-kid cheater pairing. While it was nice to see Ohm play a part with more animated facial expressions, his was the only character that remained consistent. All in all, this was a confusing show about disloyalty and parallel worlds that never made sense or stayed true to its characters. A promising start, confusing middle, and disappointing end. I don’t say this lightly, but Oh My Sunshine Night is better, and OhmFuke deserve better than either.

22 Bake Me Please

Thai 2023 Gaga

6/10

A lackluster story about a group of bakers coping with (mostly) a shoddy script that could not be saved by either the beauty nor the talent of the actors involved. It suffered for lack of narrative backbone and so did I.

23 Bite Me

Thai 2021 Viki

6/10 (yeah I'mm surprise too, I thought I gave this a 5)

Thailand gave us Korean style slowly simmering ultra soft and sweet BL only at a Thai length so the pacing was… not good. Slower than molasses and full of insane subtext, long gazes, missing dialogue, abrupt mood swings, and one very pretty kiss. It curdled around episode 8, the sauce split, and there was no saving it. It did have some of the best food porn I’ve seen in my life, and I watch cooking shows regularly. It was beautiful, the leads were decent, it should have right up my alley, and yet… it left me with a feeling of disaffected ennui - bland and boring and unsatisfying. 11 courses of tasty tasty pacing issues.

24 One Last Order

Korea 2019 microfilm Gaga

5/10

Extremely hot cafe customer has to figure out which of the cutie baristas has a crush on him and sends hime poetry.

25 Craving You

Taiwan 2020 Viki

5/10

Honestly, I haven't rewatched this since it aired and I maybe might cut it more slack now. About a jerk of a cook with a crush on a musician and having to make a cake for a gay wedding.

26 Coffee Melody

Thai 2022 Viki

5/10

Stars Pavel (my love) as a cafe owner (Forth in 2 Moons 2) and Benz as a composer (Call it What You Want). This should have been my kind of BL - on the fluffy end of the spectrum plus honestly queer. Unfortunately, the slow pacing, manufactured angst, odd secondary story arcs, and a selfishly immature unlikeable wet dishcloth main character, meant its flaws outweighed its charm. Jean (flame on snark fairy) is ME, I love him so much but in the end neither he nor Pavel in an apron could save this show for me. It’s not bad. It’s not good either. Ultimately so forgettable I’ve probably already forgotten it. There is also a Coffee Melody holiday special.

27 Evening Cafe

Thai 2021 YouTube

5/10

Cafe setting with no heat and no kisses (almost Chinese in this regard), but a decent lead pair. About a boy who works in a cafe and the new employee who has a crush on him. That’s it, whole story.

28 Love Area: Part 1

Thai 2021 Gaga

5/10

It ended on a cliffhanger and I'm still annoyed by it. But it is somewhat set at a restaurant.

29 Love Next Door 2

Thai 2014 Gaga

4/10

One of Thailand’s early very high heat pieces, it’s odd, but sexy I guess? Some unexpectedly decent queer rep at the cafe including femme characters getting screen time and HEAs. Part one from 2013 has the same high heat content and feature the same lead character (and actor) early on in his queer journey, discovering he is gay with the sex worker next door, but isn't as good nor is it relevant to this story. Which, unfortunately, also isn't very good.

30 The Promise

Thai 2023 WeTV

4/10

Although well acted this show dragged a too simple premise out into the ultimate manipulative miscommunication repeats of idiotic "why don’t you just TALK!?” Phu & Nan are childhood bffs through college (almost lovers) until Phu disappears. After looking/waiting for him, Nan gives up and self isolates, and the actual story takes place 10 years later. Phu’s “reason” and inability to say it out loud makes the whole show just frustrating, squandering good chemistry, and a stellar cast of multiple faen fatals (whose personalities would’ve made them better boyfriends). Seriously do not bother. What a damn waste of talent, time, and electronic bandwidth. Fatally flawed.

31 Love Area: Part 2

Thai 2022 Gaga

3/10

It wasn't as boring as Bite Me, but it wasn’t actually good, either. This started out as Thailand tackles love triangles pulp style, but in part 2 lockdown changed everything. Valen & Kaitoon dropped some great kisses but traded off crazy hair and makeup in a scene-by-scene whiplash that was clearly pickups done months after lockdown, and the second lead vanished. It was... surreal. Side dishes jumped up screen time but tackled mental health... badly. A fantastic new queer side character was randomly introduced, June, who was the best thing to happen to BL linguistics in 2022 but had nothing to do with the rest of the cast, show, or plot. What a mess. In the end, I didn’t know what I was watching, and neither did it.

32 Cafe In Love

Thai 2023 grey

3/10

A café setting featuring 3 couples with a great queer fam but held together by tropes and sexual-harassment, surrounded by dubious consent and statutory rape. Avoid.

33 I Am Your King 2

Thai 2019 grey

3/10

Early love triangle BL about a cafe boy caught between two brothers, mostly not good because the wrong brother wins. Has no connection to the original I Am Your King.

34 Senior Love Me

Thai 2023 YouTube

3/10

Pulp cafe, nothing happens, not even a BL

35 Jealousy is My Guest

Korea 2016 microfilm Gaga

2/10

Just very very odd and kinda deadly.

I also have 3 unrated DNFs in this sub genre:

Accomplishment of Fudanshi Bartender AKA Fudanshi Bartender no Tashinami - Japan 2022

My Story - Pinoy 2023

About Us but Not About Us 0 Pinoy 2022

Restaurant & beverage is my favourite possible setting for a BL. I'm extremely disappointed that the BL world hasn't produced more that I truly love. I'm not demanding 10/10 but I could use some 9/10s.

Side eyes Thailand and Japan.

(source)

[svtellify]

kotlc: unraveled review [SPOILER WARNING]

keeper of the lost cities 9.5: unraveled by shannon messenger ★★★☆☆ *parts of the review were taken directly from my goodreads review of the book!

“I tried,” he told the empty room, wishing it made him feel like less of a failure.”

see, if you told me a year ago i'd sympathize with alvar and not mind reading about him, i'd assume you were trying to start a fight.

that being said: this wasn't a necessary book for the series. is it going to provide some helpful context going into book 10? sure. definitely. would it have also been better served as part of a post series anthology of short stories (see: keefe short story, fitz short story, tam short pov) that didn't quite fit into the series elsewhere? yeah. was it a cute short novel about my favorite character that expanded on a lot of what i've been waiting to see explored? also yeah.

before i continue, i want to add that i'm not the target audience of this series, not by a long shot. i was ten when i picked up the series in sixth grade, when only the first three books were out and had to suffer the wait for neverseen. i'm twenty one, and will have finished my master's degree before book ten comes out. i'd like to think i've grown up with the series, but i know that also means outgrowing the majority of the fanbase, since this is a kid's series. i hope the kids reading this can still find some value in my words though!

i'd argue that unraveled shoots itself in the foot a bit in terms of the series as a whole. kotlc is best told through sophie's perspective, because it's limited and lets us see the lost cities through the pov of someone else who's also equally new to it. unraveled breaks up that rhythm and lets us see our own world through keefe's eyes, as someone unfamiliar with it. it works, and it doesn't.

what unraveled does best, however, is drive home that while kotlc is told from sophie's perspective, it's very much more than just her story. keefe has equal stake in it, at this point, and it's only inevitable that they'll share custody of the rest of the story because of what's to come next. it's a story about the lost cities, about the change that needs to happen there, even in a species that's effectively immortal. a change that we've slowly witnessed two warring groups attempt to bring about.

(it's rather fitting given current political events, but i digress. kotlc is not a modern day political commentary, and i stand by it. the series took shape in the early 2010s and has meandered its way through the 2020s. it's applicable, but not intentional, if that makes sense.)

i loved that shannon tackled keefe's abuse directly, along with his trust issues and myriad of trauma. it's been building up and needed to be addressed so i'm glad we were able to see that.

it's also evident in unraveled that shannon's ready for something a little more mature (unlike let the sky fall.) writing-wise, and like jjk before it, i'm curious to see what kotlc would've looked like as a YA book with more room to explore it's darker themes. she does a great job with it as a middle grade series, but there's tones throughout unraveled that show better writing, so i look forward to book 10 and whatever her next project will be!

onto the annotations!

i have been waiting for someone to talk about this. and while i'm not like. alvar's number one fan now or anything, i think he was kind of the perfect person to talk about this. he's directly responsible for some of this, starting with trying to recruit keefe on numerous occasions and the role he played in keefe's involvement with the neverseen.

he's also fitz's brother. fitz, who's been a general disappoint at best to cruel at worst when it comes to keefe and his mom and his familial abuse. alvar might not understand all of it, but i'd like to think that he gave keefe a bit of closure on the vacker-keefe front. and on keefe's general guilt.

this is here purely because it hit like a gut punch. it's so simply written but i think we all need to hear it sometimes.

keefe being down bad for sophie is the funniest thing ever actually, but this is written so cutely ;(

a south indian dish name drop in a kotlc was not on my radar. i love it though?

it's a short book, there's not much more i think needs to be mentioned. it's good, nothing mind blowing, and the characters shine when shannon doesn't have to juggle the whole ensemble and then some. it did what it needed to⎯fill in some gaps that the cast expansion got in the way of and draw us back in for book 10. and it worked.

i wasn't particularly looking forward to this or dreading it⎯i've been too busy for either lately, but there's something very special about reading from a series you've grown up with, something so heartwarming about finding magic in a book series that wasn't necessarily written for your age group.

i don't want to make this too long, so i'll just say: i'm looking forward to book 10! i'll be well in the middle of med school secondaries and hopefully interviews by then, but it's a lovely reprieve to anticipate.

3.5 stars.

(also wanted to drop the kotlc playlist here for anyone interested in a series reread. catch me rereading the series when i'm out of the trenches of finals 🫡)

[ms-scarletwings]

A Messy, Sedulous Necropsy of Zib Membrane

That’s what we call him right? Not Invader Zib? Hell if I know, we’ll let the tags decide.

Whatever he is christened by his author, enemies, or fans, this titular villain of the Zimvoid is such a mind blaster to me. I wish we had more time with him within the comics. I wish he had been a concept explored in the show. I wish he had a movie. I am having fun with a little hyperbole here, but I truly do find him just as interesting and potentially pivotal of an antagonist as Tak was, if not even more.

Both, of course, were so badly underutilized for sake of the series status quo. To that, Zib was a much bigger threat than Tak, and especially to that of the comics’ own. He potentially changes everything, and somehow absolutely nothing by the end. The TV show always had a more overt tone of cruelty and the macabre floating about its themes. These print issues? I don’t dislike them. It’s still recognizably invader Zim, and the more the merrier, content-wise, but longtime fans can feel that there was this change of essence in the transition. More obviously, in the art, but more subtly, there was an audible softening of that bluntly darker, cynical tone the show was made iconic for. To put it very generally, they lean a little more into the whackiness of this world, there’s a lot more dark comedy to be found in what I’ve seen so far rather than in your face darkness, and in the absence of the ost and voice acting the show accustomed us to, the comics leave a lot more room to be read as you wile. To me, they’re goofier and more episodic in spirit.

This all is not a critique or rating on the comics.. It’s purely, I feel, why Zib stuck out to me all the more jarringly in his context. His reveal was a genuine twist that brought forth stakes higher than arguably any other threat in the entire franchise. He represents a plausible while horrifying prophecy of our main characters if only they made worse decisions. The most interesting of all, for every piece of amazing information he fed to us, he bred dozens more questions about everything than he answered, from Irken machinations, to his ambivalent backstory, to the secrets hidden by the sum of his parts.

Though he was left evidently alive at the end of his story, I don’t see any chance for him making a return, so he is memorialized as another defeated one-off the writers have brisked past and left behind for good. Therefore, I’m here today to take what we got and present it on the metaphorical autopsy table. I want to really pull apart why this character alone pulled me back into the TV series, really just flay open the bits I can’t get out of my own head and dig harder until we find something or we run out of threads to tug at. Starting with the one already hanging out of my mouth, but

• B.E.F

“Bad End Friend” is a term I learned the meaning of within the last 12 hours or so of writing this, and I’m exuberant over that discovery. It’s a niche trope i didn’t know ive been a giant fan of since I was a child. Summed up, fictional characters from beloved media, typically, animated child protagonists… given the worst case scenario treatment. Their “bad ending”, whether that means a corruption arc, demonic possession, a lovecraftIan tragedy… usually something that’s anywhere along the lines of a fate worse than death to a full villainous turnover. As a treat. The concept is strongly associated with fanworks and AUs of popular media, but just as often this is something that becomes explored in the source material as well. A couple great examples I know would probably be Ice Prince Finn from Adventure Time or what happens in Undertale when you decide you want to run the most depraved playthrough possible. From a more mature story, “Evil” Morty is another validly arguable sample.

Besides a bit of a fondness I got going for certain dark or spooky themes in general, what I REALLY love about canonical BEFs the most is their utility as characterization tools. They’re the “having your cake and eating it too” option! The perfect way for an author to explore certain things about any character without actually committing to well… a bad ending.

Almost always, they are necessarily hypothetical or reversible. If they’re not reversible, they go often hand-in-hand with a little universe tampering to make happen. Sometimes, this means the story goes the way of time travel and branching off butterfly effects. Sometimes it means confirming multiverse theory, which can be the same thing depending on your semantical position.

And Zib crossed off the BEF qualifications by far and away. His implications are extremely dark given any pause think about them, and he’s a living, disturbing tragedy in aftermath. If you want to view a rigamarole about that aspect of his characterization as he appeared in the comics, someone else long beat me to that and I’m enthusiastically recommending a peek at their own work. I’m thrilled to do so and build a little upon that with those extended what-if-wonders.

• Lessons From a Lost Episode

Elephant in the room I haven’t seen someone ask yet, uh..

By show rules, isn’t Zib supposed to be a clear case of the writers committing the sin of retcon? By show I’m including the unaired scripts, including “10 Minutes to Doom”. In that one we had what looked like the potential setup for a Zib case, and it was deconstructed across the whole episode.

In short recap, Dib learned the hard and reckless way about the true nature of what Irken PAKs actually are. This is not an inventory bag, it is not “gear”. It’s the actual Irken entity- at least, the primary component.

Detaching it from the organic shell essentially caused a temporary split into two instances of Zim, desperately trying to connect back together under threat of obliteration.

Like let me be very clear about this,

The PAK is an autonomous instance of Zim’s consciousness, and it’s the main one. We’ve seen it act to save his life when his body has been out cold or flatlined, and he doesn’t appear the least bit disoriented or confused once “he” wakes and jumps back into the action. There’s no known separate computer assistant AI or security autopilot in there. That code, that program, IS Zim. As Long as the PAK is active, he is capable of staying fully conscious and able to react to what’s happening around him, and that’s what we’ve been seeing, his own actions.

Zim proved me right when Virooz tried to replace him and detached the PAK. Take note of his phrasing after the chair event™.

“I” activated the protocol. Immediately after Virooz ran off with my shell.

“I” Voluntarily chose to do so.

I don’t remember it playing out like that in “10 Minutes to Doom”.

Attaching to a new host wasn’t the first reflex. Dib was not the least bit aware that that he has literally holding the actual Zim captive in sense, and the latter was fighting like a cornered animal to escape him. Failing that, alongside the distance between him and his original body growing fast, he made a last desperate gambit, and he willingly connected himself into Dib’s body.

I can see why he thought this was better than nothing, no matter how repulsive the notion might have been. If he couldn’t fend Dib off physically, he could incapacitate him in some fashion by trying to overtake his will. Maybe give the shell a better chance to catch up, maybe in the longshot hope of being able to pilot dib in order to become whole with the correct host again. And you can say he succeeded, at least in dominating bodily control away from Dib, but at the cost of his already tenuously held sanity. This could be because of the interference of Dib’s own mind still resisting to fully submit, or malfunctions because of the biological incompatibility; however, the thing that Dib mentally becomes is only the basic idea of what “Zim” is. Instead of remembering it needs to reunite with its shell ASAP, the PAK mistakes Dib’s body for its own and goes through the manic motions of following the Invader mission. And it does this, weirdly enough, with almost no regard for blowing its cover.

When things are set right again, Zim’s later words near the episode ending revealed that he knew that was an unsustainable state.

Such a risk was not just accounted for, he was actually banking on it if that clock had hit zero. If Zim had truly lost, if he was really doomed to meet his end on this nasty rock in the middle of Nowhere, Space, then by every damned circuit in his being, he was going to take down this insolent fool boy and as many other humans possible with him. A dying act of vengeful rage.

• The Exceptional… Exception

Now, wouldn’t all of this be the definitive reason for Zib’s existence to be an aberrant impossibility? Yes, but actually no. Fun thing about multiverses is if something doesn’t work in one setting, you can just tweak a few dials and suddenly you have a world where the impossible becomes possible. But that’s a pretty cheap answer, isn’t it? So, what exactly was that crucial difference?

What happened in Zib’s timeline that went down so, so divergently from the events of 10 Minutes to Doom?

Because the only one who was in any position to explain it for us was Zib himself, and he’s proven to be one of the most unreliable of narrators. It’s as @dana-chan-the-control-brain already spared no effort to demonstrate, when he does tell us something about his past, his story is pocked with contradicting half-truths or outright lies. Ergo it helps to break down each recount of events to pick out the real facts.

Version 1: This is an alternate version of dib who defeated his complementing Zim (logically sensible) and went on to achieve all of the success and respect he sought after in his timeline (absolute bullshit). He kind of gestures and only implies about what has happened to his body while explaining that he came to his current understanding of Irken technology by studying it through Zim’s lab (a partial truth). He lets slip in passing that he has in fact fused with the PAK in order to learn how to alter and reprogram its coding, lessons he has applied to Number 2 in order to have a brainwashed pawn (also apparently true).

Version 2, when cornered and red handed: This is an alternate version of Dib who managed to specifically stop Zim's mission (Again, makes sense) but somehow could not convince the world of his findings or his warnings about the Irken Armada (*VERY eyebrow raising). Frustrated with the people’s lack of cooperation, he decides he has no choice but to physically merge with Zim’s PAK post-mortem (concerning and evidently mostly accurate), dominate the Earth himself, and enslave humans to help him in his efforts (highly troubling and probably true). The construction of his EMP super-weapon is successful, but ultimately led to the creation of the Zimvoid when the device was field tested (self evident, absolutely horrifying).

You know what I noticed was missing from both of these accounts? Exactly how his Zim was defeated. Which honestly could have been some beyond useful wisdom to pass along to the main Dib??? More than anything else? I’m not going to fault our boy for not pressing that matter better under the awing circumstance; however, there’s an implication I’ve been reading between lines. 

When Zib mentions “defeating” his own Zim, he’s talking about something different than ours.

When our Dib has always talked about “defeating” Zim, he’s meant incapacitation and capture. Throughout the show he explicitly wants to present Zim before an audience alive and whole. Yeah, he fantasizes about other people torturing or disassembling him for study, but HIS role was supposed to be reaping the fame for an undeniable, ground-breaking discovery. Conspiracies and cryptids are all this kid breathes and lives by! And as long as pop culture has always been fascinated with the paranormal, and he has to know this full well, people keep bringing forward hoax after hoax after scam. I mean there’s a freaking current one or few still going IRL about this exact topic. Dib would want no room left for being dismissed as another one of those con artists. 

Nonetheless, I actually doubt this is the reason Zib couldn’t get through to the scientific community. A genuine alien lifeform, even a dead one, could still be confirmed by any basic medical examination. The world thinks Dib is too crazy to listen to, but his father is still Professor Membrane. In "10 Minutes to Doom" OUR Dib got as close as having Membrane literally analyzing a PAK, or at worst, preparing to. “Ultimate Dib” gets his hands on the same thing and pulls a move I’d expect from an HP Lovecraft Protagonist instead.

We’re assuming way too much to what these two Dibs have in common, because this ^^^ is really what made the Zimvoid an outlier in the multiverse. That world didn’t only have a very different, more threatening Zim from the main timeline, it had the Dib who proved even more formidable, cunning, and ruthless, even before the fusion. 

He didn’t obtain that PAK ala the “10 minutes to Doom” accident, it’s a personal trophy. This is extra strange remembering that capturing an Irken is realistically more easy than killing one. They’re seriously more tenacious than kudzu and will even fight back in PAK form alone. I’m convinced that whatever sort of final showdown made the Ultimate Dib the victor, there are two optional endings on the table.

Option 1: There was not a body even left intact enough to bring in to research. Maybe Dib’s fault, maybe an accident, maybe even Zim’s own luck running out and his incompetent antics finally swallowed him (and possibly GIR). This theory assumes that the PAK was the only sort of remains to come into Dib’s recovery/possession.

Option 2: Curiosity Killed the cat,

but satisfaction brought it back.

Or, the one I personally headcanon. Dib… all Dibs, I assume, don’t just hate the Irken species. They are mesmerized by them, and all that they represent from his perspective. Firstly, the epic villain he gets to roleplay nemesis to in order to feel his own worth and importance. Secondly, an unknown wonder from beyond the boundaries of the cosmos. He’s not really a ghost buster or a Men In Black agent at heart, but a scientist, like his father. Underneath his contempt for Zim’s plans to destroy the world is a genuine and appropriately childish awe for alien presence, especially for Zim’s technology. His silent, dopey smile when Tak’s ship ended up in his backyard said more than words ever will.. 

Earlier in the show, a great deal of Dib’s time and effort was spent on trying to infiltrate the lower levels of Zim’s base. Sneaking into the house was hard enough, but the computer security can’t be bypassed like the gnomes. Not even by Zim himself unless he really is all himself. Perhaps you’re starting to sniff where I’m going with this one when I refer back to “Bolognius Maximus”. I’ve another reference that’s a little more on the nose, and a lot more… dark.

Were an expired Irken husk before you, you too might take your victory and cash in then. Still, who knows what sudden impulse may run through the head of a less humble version of yourself, one some could call greedier, obsessive to a fault, a screw or two loose, yet, a hell of a smart cookie. Smart enough to see it for what it actually was, the keys to a whole world of discovery that went so many layers deeper than they could ever imagine. It’s possible the Ultimate Dib already learned beforehand the same hard lessons about the PAKs that our own did, and took that understanding toward not repeating the same mistake this time. What happened to Zim? I think he was murdered in cold blood, body, and entity. “10 Minutes to Doom” showed us a fight between 2 brains clinging to one body, struggling until one overpowered another, but that’s not what this is. Through whatever means of science were available to him, this Dib has probably tried to “disarm” the technology by either erasing Zim’s consciousness out of it altogether, or by forcing the autonomous code into a kind of dormancy. His intentions were to render it back to its basic hardware without losing its precious knowledge and usefulness, something like the brain-filled tank that was wired into Skrang’s head. Zim’s PAK doesn’t cling onto his body like a parasitic teratoma this time; it’s merged in a literal sense with his nervous and circulatory system. As well, he has fooled the device’s ability to detect and reject a foreign host shell, the exact same way he deceived the the base’s security AI. If an Irken biology is what these measures authorize to command them and their secrets, then he had the tools on hand to give them just that- in an atrocity I like to call

the darker harvest.

Within this theory, there is not as much room to wonder exactly what became of Zim’s organic remains. 

But where Dib fucked up was, for the second time, in his ignorance to the true nature of what he was even playing with. That was a mistake that even the mighty Elder Brains of Judgementia lost themselves to; How much more vulnerable was the weak, human mind? Though Zim can be devoured, he can never be digested. In that fact was born this aberration against nature, sanity, and humanity alike.

"Have you ever heard of insect politics? Neither have I. Insects… don't have politics. They're very… brutal. No compassion, no compromise. We can't trust the insect. I'd like to become the first… insect politician. Y'see, I'd like to, but… I'm afraid, uh… I'm saying… I'm saying I - I'm an insect who dreamt he was a man and loved it. But now the dream is over… and the insect is awake." - Seth Brundle, The Fly, 1986

By fusing what is half-mad and what is utterly mad, neither being was cured, only assimilated into the birth of a new madness. The madness of the creature that snickers behind the curtain in the Zimvoid. I rightfully fear that lonesome thing, but not I think as much as I pity him.

• Dejavu, or Re:Plagarism

One more thing about the Zimvoid arc I find curious is the way it makes you question more and more just how much of the aberration is actually still Dib, and how much of it is Zim's infection haunting him. He does nothing with all of his intellect, his resources, and his time in the void doing anything but surrounding himself in everything he claims he despises. He decries alien tyranny in one breath while lording over a homemade, cruel dictatorship in another. He calls for eradication of the very race who's technology and physiology he has thoroughly appropriated. He laments feeling unable to protect the Earth from the Armada alone, yet sneers literally through Irken teeth to insult humans as inferior and of no value to him any longer. Our Dib spent the whole damn show longing for the support of other people, but Zib pushes away potential allies in his arrogance. His broken timeline never became a Dibvoid instead because while only half of his mind can't stand Irkens, both of the souls inside him remember that they loathe and look down upon a Dib, deep inside.

The corruption goes as far as even subverting his own creativity. None of Zib's plans are wholly original. His anti-Irken weapon was already a concept blueprinted inside of that PAK before the merge. Our Dib has several times shown a propensity for some DIY ingenuity, sometimes dipping a toe into the supernatural. Zib entirely calls upon, scavenges and regurgitates Irken designs with a few modifications or upgrades. The Dib Virus, I think is his most uninspired creation yet, for it's original form was always something inside of Zim, even if the latter himself was not aware of the fact. Like all else, it is a weapon he has plundered, customized, and turned around on everyone else for his own selfish ends. This brief point I will end on one  more reflection. The one kind of help Zim ever allowed at his side were the likes of GIR and his own creations. Unable to connect and cooperate with his peers and own kind, his ego preferred to be around those defective machines he related to- drones to be owned by him and always loyally at his beck and call. A slave to admire him unconditionally is the only companionship he's ever been willing to admit to desiring.

And what was Number 2's purpose again? What role exactly were the arena combatants auditioning for, when you think about it?

[rp-partnerfinder]

updated partner search!!!

hello!!! my name is moth (she/her) and i'd love to get some more writing going while i do my replies! i write mostly on discord.

i am 21 years old and i will not roleplay with anyone under the age of 18...

i am a huge fan of anything horror related, dead dove, angsty, anything dark really. i enjot writing smut but do not necessarily need it if you are uncomfortable.

i much much much prefer to write as the female, but can switch it up on occasion. i am a semi lit-lit writer, though i mostly just match whatever length my partner sends i'm not picky.

NOW... onto the pairings/plots/

italics are cravings, bold is who id prefer to write as...

dystopia/apocalypse!

professor x student

non-fan x celebrity

vampire x human

vampire x vampire hunter

pirate/sailor x siren

ghost x human

assassin x target

ex x ex

bodyguard x client

older neighbor x new younger neighbor

serial killer x serial killer

serial killer x innocent

accidental murderer x skilled murderer

fandoms/fav movies and shows:

yellowjackets

the hunger games

the last of us

final destination

the walking dead

scream

the 100

the uglies series

the purge

lost

fresh

some very basic plot ideas:

(yellowjackets based) Our muses get stranded in a remote area after a horrific plane crash. they must navigate young adulthood with the rest of the passengers starving, terrified, and hopeless. supernatural forces throughout the forest begin to make themselves known, and our survivors see themselves going down darker and darker paths they cannot recognize themselves anymore, convinced society has moved on from rescuing them anymore.

(serial killers/kill for hires lover) Muse A is a killer, and also a wonderful partner. muse B is their long term partner, blissfully unaware of their lovers real profession until muse B catches muse A in a very compromising position. lots of angst, hurt/comfort, dark themes

(haunted) our muses are urban explorers, they find themselves inside an old abandoned theme park from decades ago, decaying from the inside out. while walking around, they discover that they haven't seen the way out, or any way out, even once. things are moving that shouldn't be, and they are hearing more and more off putting noises. what happens when the spirits finally show themselves? how will our muses appease them, or fight to escape?

(apocalypse) muse A and muse B are life long enemies, constantly trying to one up the other always hating being around each other. when t forced to work together on a work project and and the apocalypse hits, they are forced to either let their pettiness win and be alone through all of this horror, or stay together and try to survive as a team. various traumatic events bond them closer and closer until they discover hidden feelings beneath layers of vines. enemies to lovers

thank you so much for reading!! like this post if anything interests you and i'll send you a message! feel free to message me as well < 3

.

[mothmorality]

my muses can be found here i post and reblog plots i'd like to write here

open starters are here

ask memes are here!

hello!!! my name is moth (she/they) and i'd love to get some more writing going while i do my replies! i write here on tumblr and also on discord!

i am an adult and i will not roleplay with anyone under the age of 18…

i am a huge fan of anything horror related, dead dove, angsty, anything dark really. i enjoy writing smut but do not necessarily need it if you are uncomfortable. 

i much much much prefer to write as the female, but can absolutely still write males. i am a semi lit-adv lit writer, though i mostly just match whatever length my partner sends  i'm not picky.

keep reading for some pairings/plots/fandoms!

NOW… onto the pairings/plots/fandoms!

italics are cravings, bold is who i'd prefer to write as…

dystopia/apocalypse!

professor x student

non-fan x celebrity

vampire x human

vampire x vampire hunter

pirate/sailor x siren

ghost x human

assassin x target

ex x ex

bodyguard x client

older neighbor x new younger neighbor

serial killer x serial killer

serial killer x innocent

accidental murderer x skilled murderer

​​​​​​​fandoms/fav movies and shows

yellowjackets

the hunger games

the last of us

final destination

the walking dead

scream

the 100

the uglies series

the purge

lost

fresh

some very basic plot ideas:

(yellowjackets based) Our muses get stranded in a remote area after a horrific plane crash. they must navigate young adulthood with the rest of the passengers starving, terrified, and hopeless. supernatural forces throughout the forest begin to make themselves known, and our survivors see themselves going down darker and darker paths until they cannot recognize themselves anymore, convinced society has moved on from rescuing them anymore

(serial killers/kill for hires lover) Muse A is a killer, and also a wonderful partner. muse B is their long term partner, blissfully unaware of their lovers real profession until muse B catches muse A in a very compromising position. lots of angst, hurt/comfort, dark themes

(haunted) our muses are urban explorers, they find themselves inside an old abandoned theme park from decades ago, decaying from the inside out. while walking around, they discover that they haven't seen the way out, or any way out, even once. things are moving that shouldn't be, and they are hearing more and more off putting noises. what happens when the spirits finally show themselves? how will our muses appease them, or fight to escape?

(​​​​​​​apocalypse) muse A and muse B are life long enemies, constantly trying to one up the other and always hating being around each other. when they are forced to work together on a work project and the apocalypse hits, they are forced to either let their pettiness win and be alone through all of this horror, or stay together and try to survive as a team. various traumatic events bond them closer and closer until they discover hidden feelings beneath layers of vines. enemies to lovers

thank you so much for reading!! like this post if anything interests you and i'll send you a message! feel free to message me as well <3

[chizups]

Skoll-sun-eater draws incest art & you engage with her all the time, I hope you dont encourage that

Нихуя себе, утро не с кофе началось, здрасьте приехали...

I encourage people to share their art in general, especially when they get anxious because of people like you. What I do not appreciate is a user who walks around and sends anonymous asks like that just to stir up the pot. No worry, I already saw your blog. But if you're gonna post openly anyway, next time just send the message with your name on from the get go. Don't be a pussy about it.

Do I actively encourage stories and arts that portray incestual relationship? No. Do I clap my hands with high-pitched "Yay!" when I see someone posting it? No. Nor do I do it for any other questionable topic. Do I judge it? You know - it's not really for you, anon, I'm saying this for people reading my blog - there is a big difference between someone walking around and offering to read a text or to engage in conversation about a topic uncomfortable to many and a person just exploring darker stuff through their art for whatever reason (usually the reasons are related to psychological trauma and it's not uncommon for people to cope with it by engaging in art of such nature, and if anon does not agree, well, look at me having my own opinion).

I've seen people who are fetishizing aspects of their lives, things, events and even actual people. Skoll-sun-eater does not strike me as one of them.

I've seen texts that were written to revolve around fetish to the point of being creepy. And it's not the same as when story just happens to have dark themes described in it. The world is a sick place, to describe it sometimes you'll need to use a few very questionable tools. Shit, I came up with some unusual ideas in the past as well. If it makes me a weirdo unworthy of attention in your eyes without any questioning, so be it.

The line may be thin. But it exists.

As for the art, Genevieve is not even Jacob's daughter in some of the stories. Bby, hit us up, when someone in the fandom turns Seeds into ponies and writes Stockholm#2. Peace✌️

[charleemoon]

HELLO HI CHARLIE :) !!! i have SM FUN reading ur essays in the tags and and ur takes they are so real :3 HANNIBAL FANS 5EVER !!! sometimes i go to ur blog and it's like oh!! that's literally the thought i had that i didn't know how to put into words! there it is in words!! ALSO ur ocs have intrigued me... i saw the one post about would ur ocs survive a horror movie or something and i love vincent now !! tell me everything ever about all of them i love ocs sm :3 i have ocs too and i fr get the struggle of "aughhh what if my ocs are offensive and cringe" i was like SOMEONE GETS IT !! sometimes, for me, it feels like i want an excuse to yap on the internet about my ocs even if i'm scared so HERES UR EXCUSE :) if that helps :) i would like to hear about them if u ever feel like tapping! no pressure ofc from any of this in any respect, i just wanted to tell u i'm out here !! & i care ! the only reason i didn't say this before is i'm like irrationally anxious about asking off anon idk why... oops i'm rambling... anyway have a nice day/night etc !! i hope nice things happen for u :)

HELLO ANON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my gosh thank you !! im so happy leaps into the air so much and leaps more i love words and talking!! obviously. im so often fixated on this idea that i am completely incomprehensible, nothing i say makes any sense and my thoughts are nonsense and inhuman. so it makes me really happy for you to say that !! im really really happy that my thoughts resonate and make sense

DONT. ASK. ME. ABOUT. MY OCS. I CANT EVEN LIKE ITS THERES TOO MUCH I THINK i can never keep myself from rambling.

okay so i have a few individual oc verses.... but im mainly posting about REV (rejuvenation) (the name sucks it all sucks i suck) which has two separate groups. its called that because i basically got really autistic one night and repurposed a bunch of old middle school ocs into new characters and whatever. WHATEVER. theres no real plot to rev, just people trying to figure themselves out and growing up and just. trying to right them like real people i guess

college boys (WORKING TITLE. ITS ALL WORKING ITS JUST WHAT I CALL THEM IT SUCKS) is the group i was talking about!! if you couldnt tell by their names... kicks rock.. they are repurposed from fnaf night guards... screams so loud. when i was 12/13 i was obsessed with them... especially the like very fanonized versions (rebornica mention. shudders) but it was one of those situations where like. you have a bunch of headcanons and personal ideas and then they become so different from the source material that they basically became ocs. i picked them back up around 2022.

i cant even begin to like. fully ramble about them tbh cuz the post will never end and i just need to actually write it all down somewhere in a master post. but i DO have a very poorly maintained toyhouse. (please ignore how ass all the art is im really lazy and only draw on mspaint half the time) most all my oc information is contained in my obsidian files on my pc, but i truly CANNOT post the level of shit in there. its too much

them !!! by order fritz, jeremy, michael, vincent, scott. made by super cool friend @bog-teeth

IM GLAD YOU LIKE VINCENT I LOVE VINCENT. i think he is sooo odd and strange and fun and and !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have a hard time talking about them because he is like an enigma to me. I HAVE A HARD TIME TALKING ABOUT HIM ALSO BECAUSE OF THE EVIL .... he is very traumatized and i like exploring a lot of darker themes and morbid things with rev and i get worried that im. doing it wrong? or disrespectfully. like people would be like thats weird or . ????? i have severe obsessions about it i think im just crazy. i love all of them so so much i really like thinking about them (looks at all the art i havent made and writing ive put off) i love them i swear (they are starving in my basement)

jeremy has a sister hazel and thats a whole other friend group with their own story and BLINKS MY EYELASHES I DONT TALK ABOUT THEM ENOUGH. i think i just get worried that its like. boohoo edgy gay ocs with evil backstory everyone has already seen it all before loser. and then i have to remember that its my oc and i do whatever i want . BUT WHAT IF

anon whoever you are i am kissing your head i am so happy that you sent me an ask and that that you care !!!!!!! i always feel like everything i do is meaningless and uninspired and that i hold no sway or creative influence or. i dont even know. IM SO HAPPY !!!!!!!!!! !

i hope you have such a lovely lovely day or night too ^0^ youve inspired me to work a little harder !! maybe a rev masterpost is in order (or maybe i should write my intro post first . i have things to do)