#when he’s in artificing class

[local-maenad]

Absolutely love the idea that Gorgug is the most popular kid in his artificer classes. They’re his biggest fans and he is theirs. He makes the best and silliest inventions and everyone loves to help him out with it. They come up with new ways to help him rage and cast spells. He gets into SO many hijinks with them.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

preemptively sorry for how fucking long this is it is YOUR FAULTT THOUGH!!!! large bowl of seeds for u. it is almost 2am sorry.

SO. there are. two ways to assign the prime defenders powers etc. the first way is just, like, categorize their existing powersets within the prt framework, & the second is to give them entirely new abilities based on the way worm works. delightfully, all the powers they Do have work really well for the most part, so even that doesn't require a ton of shuffling.

categorizing their pre-existing powers:

wiwi-- breaker w/ a shaker subclass. neither of them rated very high, but that's already a rare and versatile enough combination!!

dakota-- brute babeeeey!!! brute/mover its so straightforward. hell yeah babey. i don't know what he'll end up looking like post-heart removal & stuff but my guess is that'll end up looking more like a mover/striker.

vyncent-- now THIS one gave me trouble. i... hm. to say this without talking about stuff that i don't think has come up much already, (hey!! you're at that clockblocker pov! directly related to what flechette says!) i'd call him a grab-bag cape, irt the greats at least. post-greats-- again, i don't know what his powerset will look like after this arc! but if he's going all in w/ the fire magic, that would for sure be some striker shit! :]]]

giving them new powers... man i'm reining myself in so hard from five more paragraphs on Why exactly i'm saying all this.

wiwi still breaker for sure, maybe breaker-master, maybe master-stranger. yknow. powers are fluid, the prt categories are pretty rigid. i... don't know. enough about his situation yet to be clearer than that vague idea yet-- i really like the idea of him just. ditching his body & using a noncorporeal form but he still has to keep an eye on his body i think that's great. the noncorporeal form would b able to change its visibility but still b limited by proximity to the body. & fluctuating energy shit powered by fluctuating amounts of recent-death in the area, maybe probably also limited in that it's only accessible in his breaker form.... also i think u will appreciate this style note from the [UNNAMED PARAHUMANS TTRPG] i'm referencing a lot here.

dakota--in this situation he probably would not. have that mechanical heart and shit. he' would still be a mover/thinker-- thinker rating is for faster mental processing + senses imminent pain for the people in his immediate vicinity. not danger, just pain; it immediately registers ambiently & can be generally traced back to whoever it is. no he can't turn it off ever, it manifests as feeling a similar level of pain, yes it works on himself. + mover-- he can fucking fly. no super strength, just very fast flight & the general "won't splat himself flying into something" capabilities, which meshes well w/ the faster processing & reflexes. i'm split on how exactly this would work mechanically but i will NOT go into that now. i am also not going into the 15k discussion in my brain on why dakota 'notoriously bad at thinking about things' cole would be a thinker but u gotta trust the process ok??

vyncent-- trump!!!! somehow this is the only straightforward one to me? he can copy powers at the full strength or ability level of the original for an unspecified amount of time that's usually 1-30 minutes by touching the cape. crucially, he doesn't have any edge on how to use these powers + can easily misuse or become extremely overwhelmed by them. he's easily the most powerful out of the three of them <33

ashe-- ashe is NOT HERE currently and also it's 1:30 am so i gotta go fucking sleep soon BUT they would be a master. easy. :o) they can make some lil guys n do stuff with them!!!!

in general these are pretty fucking cracked abilities, all of them would b oosely above a seven or so in a number rating once they're really settled in their powers-- this is mostly because i'm assuming that they would still be heirs-apparent to the prime force equivalent, which would b the triumvirate :]] anyway. good lord. this is like the cliff notes edition of what i've been thinking and scribbling in the notes app for the past several hours. sorry if it's fucking incomprehensible. gn!!! <333

AAAAAH FUCK YESSSSSS OKAY OKAY OKAY my response is probably going to be equally as long. so it's fine. oooouh buddy.

I KNOW WHAT BREAKER MEANS NOW !!! I dontttt think ive learned shaker yet. breaker is like.... breaking the laws of physics/shifting planes or whatever. PERFECT for william hell yes. for putting them actually in worm world ... ughhhh breaker/master william is REALLY cool. I havwnt learned stranger yet but i think he would develop a complex over being classified as stranger <3 (like how weld doesn't like that he's classified as a brute even though that's not exactly what it means, he just doesn't like the word) . GODDDD just thinking abt putting pd boys in worm is fucking me up haven't they been through enough. I want to see them all in a fit of despair. william ditching his body is SO good I miss when he would do that, also the powers being limited by how far away he is AND THE AMOUNT OF RECENT DEATH IN THE AREA. holy shit. that's so fucking good . im sure he would not overthink at all the fact that he is stronger when more people around him have died . I'm sure he'd do awesome in the leviathan fight for sure for sure .

DAKOTA BRUTE <3 DAKOTA BRUTE/MOVER I LOVE THIS A LOTTTTTT hellbyes. awesome. it's so perfect for him <3 worm world I'm SURPRISED u didn't stick with brute for him. eyes emoji. I trust your judgement but now i am Thinking... Hmm..... YOU BRING INTO QUESTION something I have been thinking about. and I'm going to probably get derailed a little here but stay with me. how the way powers manifest directly relate to the trigger event. because for a WHILE before we learned taylors I was like "OH i bet the powers are going to be directly related to what traumatic thing happened to them" and then we learn about taylor and grue and a couple more and I kind of lost that theory because while you can. technically draw relations between their powers and their events it seemed like too much of a stretch to do . HOWEVER now my thinking has changed AGAIN and I think the powers ARE related to specific trigger events but it's not as straightforward as "oh something scary happened to you with bugs so now you have bug powers" I think it's gonna be more complicated than that. WHICH. THE WAY THIS RELATES. BACK ON TOPIC NOW. to DAKOTA . assuming his trigger event is still he and katori falling off the building I think it's AWESOME that his powers would manifest as FLIGHT for one. and the fucking. pain sense thing. fuck me up. dakota extreme hero complex cole would be so fucked up by a power where he ambiently senses pain from the people around him at all times and cannot turn it off. I'm sure he would feel so normal about being around william chronic pain wisp 24/7. also I can SO CLEARLY imagine how this power specifically would lead to him getting super overwhelmed in chaotic situations like he does in canon. and just fucking. bolt out of there because it's too much. again. he'd have such a wonderful time in the leviathan fight

I AM AT CLOCKBLOCKER POV !!!! actually technically I'm on kid win pov now but I haven't finished his chapter yet. vyncent grab bag cape..... yeah... I think it would be EXTREMELY funny imagining the PRT in pd world trying 2 classify vyncent like. what the fuck does this kid do . what do we do with him. hes got other guys in his head that give him powers. is he a master??? no he can't fucking control them. is he a striker??? only SOMETIMES. is he a blaster?? AGAIN ONLY SOMETIMES. cannot classify him bitch!!!!!!!! giving him worm powers though.. UGH. being able to touch someone and COMPLETELY copy their powers but only for a short period of time???? I fucking love that a lot. he WOULD be the most powerful out of them!!! I can hear taylors inner analysis dialogue about him now and it's very similar to the clockblocker "DONT LET HIM.TOUCH YOU" panic. loooove imagining this playing off of the rest of pd,,, i know there was AT LEAST one time where he had william sort of transfer some of his ghost powers for a minute? I think it was during the lich fight in the theatre but i just remember vycnent floating and going intangible and NOT KNOWING how to control it or anything. loveeee that. in world dynamics I feel like vyncent would be a late addition to their team (instead of coming from another world maybe he just. had his trigger event happen way later than the other two..or something.) and not trusting them as much at first/being REALLY shaky using either of their powers but after a while being really comfortable in a fight with using either Williams or dakotas powers in a fight. Just like. imagining the fluidity of how they'd work together in a tense situation assuming they're not being complete dumbasses <3333 UGH it's really good

AAAASHE ASHE ASHE IM SOOO SO GLAD YOU INCLUDED ASHE IN THIS I miss him.so much every day. from what I know so far master involves having/making/controlling some sort of minion (cannot think of a better word than that rn) AND I THINK THATS REALLYYYY perfect for ashe. i assume he would actually work pretty closely to canon in that his limitation would be the book? or if he doesn't have the book maybe his limitation would be a) having only a few different types of things he could summon (the big hand, the water fairy, duck etc) and/or b) only being able to control them.for a short amount of time after they're summoned so he has to be quick about dismissing them. can't keep the demon hand around for too long or it might start picking things up and throwing them at random. putting teammates in danger bc he can't control it anymore etc etc. alsooooooo in clockblocker pov they VERY briefly mentioned the possibility of having secondary trigger events (?!!!!?!?!) and you know I locked onto that SO FUCKING HARD. ashe being born with powers and then his secondary trigger event being his mom's death <3 im.NOT even going to attempt to talk about how the trickster would work in worm world/if it would even exist in this setting bc i don't know enough about the types of powers and things yet..but just know. I am keeping this in the back of my mind "this is a fun surprise tool that will help us later" style

[natjennie]

ohhh this is really sad actually. gorgug being naturally fitted to being a barbarian because he's a half-orc but being interested in artificing too as a connection to his adoptive gnome parents. and now porter telling him he's not good enough at being a barbarian to merit giving him the leeway to try artificer classes. the way gorgug has always been made to feel like he's in the wrong place, he's too big and destructive for the tree and he's too curious and kind for rage. and the fact that when push comes to shove he can act strategically with both abilities, we've seen him do it. having a relationship with the gnomes in sylvaire was key to figuring out the stuff with kalina, he built the solar lasso for the night yorb in the first place, he rightfully deduced that because he was in a rage already he should keep fighting instead of casting spare the dying with the action economy. the fact that he CAN help his friends with both his physical body and his brain but he's not being given the chance to try. I'm gonna sob.

[cypress-punk]

Monster Hunter Wilds Spoilers ahead:

The Guardians are a really interesting concept to have added to the world of monster hunter. The idea of an artifical or engineered monster has been around for a long time, the first game's art book had the unused concept of the Equal Dragon Weapon which was a Frankenstein's monster stitched together from various dead monsters, and there's some old lore about ancient civilizations with incredible technology all over MH, some of which include elements about being able to control monsters in some way. Now that we've seen the ruins of Wyveria and the Guardians we have a canon picture of what that world was like.

The Guardians do raise a number of questions though, questions that I doubt we'll get strong answers on since MH storytelling has always been a little patchy. We might get some comments in the Wilds art book or something but nothing huge.

The first question and the biggest is this: the Wyverians are stated to have created the Guardians in response to some kind of threat, and that led them to their demise because eventually they built Zoh Shia who seems to have destroyed them somehow. Its unclear what exactly it did. The Wyverians were a post scarcity society with a perpetual motion device in the form of the Dragon Torch. They could engineer entire ecosystems and weather systems. Portions of their capital floated in the air weightlessly. So the question is, WHAT THE FUCK COULD THREATEN THAT KIND OF SOCIETY? Who or what scared them so bad they tried to engineer something like Zoh Shia??? Were there other hyper advanced societies with insane weapons they had to contend with? Or was it threats from natural sources? Was being Wyveria basically a way to make yourself Fatalis bait? Did the Wylk attract elder dragons hungry for the raw energy it could provide them? We know powerful networks of raw energy can form naturally in MH since one was nurturing Xeno'Jivah in World. Maybe there are whole classes of Elder Dragon that smelled the Dragontorch on the wind and went wild. When you consider that Alatreon and Fatalis are basically living nuclear weapons its easy to see why even the Wyverians would fear the Black Dragons or their close cousins. But still i want to know what they were trying to hold off with the Guardians.

A second question that the Guardians raise for me is this: where are the chimeras?. All of the Guardians except Zoh Shia appear to be modified clones of existing monsters. Rathalos, Doshaguma, Odagaron, Seikrets, Anjanath. They're all just an existing monster altered to live off Wylk and follow whatever commands the Wyverians gave them. The only exceptions are Arkveld, who appears to have been extinct even in the time of the Wyverians if I'm understanding the dialogue properly, and was then revived used Guardian technology, a process that seems to have been less successful than with extant monsters given that Guardian Arkveld began to follow its instincts to act as a predator and was able to reproduce, two things we're told normal Guardians do not do. So basically they Wyverians Jurrasic Parked themselves on that one. Zoh Shia is the big outlier of the group, because even though Arkveld was flawed he was still a copy of a real animal. Zoh Shia appears to be the only chimera, and its a hell of a chimera. It seems that the Wyverians took Gore Magala/Shagaru Magala as a base and tried to build a Black Dragon on top of that base, producing something that seems to be more Wylk than meat and possessing insane destructive power, you can see Fatalis and Alatreon in its movements very intentionally. So was Zoh Shia their only Chimera? Did they start trying to engineer entirely new monsters with this walking atom bomb or did they make smaller ones first? I really want to see more fucked up Wylk chimeras that were prototypes of this thing.

[oflightningandstars]

I have lots of thoughts about disabled!Gorgug and artificing

Major headcanons in play are Gorgug being autistic and having some amount of trouble with fine motor control/hands shaking sometimes, low blood sugar times (that's a whole other post), and some sort of joint/hand pain

Shamelessly pulling in details from my welding class

I think about Gorgug in the Nightmare King's Forest going "it might take me longer, but I'll figure it out eventually" - this sentiment underscores a lot of the following. He will figure out how to make it work eventually, but it might take him longer, and the process might be harder.

Actual list under readmore

needing the instructions gone over more times, or more demonstrations of skills

also takes longer to actually get the skills down/complete the work

added frustration if hands/arms aren't cooperating, has to think extra hard and focus extra on making them do what he needs

^subpoint: moving in ways that aren't as smooth or efficient when trying to wrangle things like maneuvering/picking stuff up/otherwise working on stuff. feeling insecure about the way he moves when he does this. Porter would not be nice about it, but also the movements to swing a giant ax are different than manipulating small pieces of metal

welding booths are private. no one else can see how he moves, freedom to move as weird as he needs to get it done (freedom to stim as much as he needs too)

welding booths are private. no one can see if he starts to cry from frustration when he just can't get something to work

welding booths are private. he can't see how his progress compares to his peers. this helps when he is struggling to get something, he can't see whether people are ahead of him. it helps him work at his own pace, and eventually get it

Gorgug finding ways to make it work better for him, ways to set up the space to brace his arms against, especially when they are being more shaky or otherwise less cooperative

when his hands are particularly shaky going "is this low blood sugar or are my hands just doing this today"

Figuring out the best way to set up supports for different types of work, like different welding positions and such

taking longer to figure out stuff that involves doing three different movements at once (I am looking at you TIG welding)

the sound of ventilation system being overwhelming on its own, earplugs always in

the buzzing from TIG torch added on top of that compounds things, ESPECIALLY if people in booths next to him are also doing TIG welding

the sound combined with general frustration has caused at least one meltdown and/or shutdown

his hands HURT after a session of artificing - the repeated grabbing/pinching motions to not help a potentially general level of pain

And accessibility tools within artificing! Gorgug could learn about what already exists, use them for himself or find ways to make them more helpful to him! But also being able to make things to help his friends (I've seen this in several fics and it is excellent every time)

[bloodyshadow1]

So I made a post about Adaine being the principal after killing Arthur Aguefort in a duel. And if that happens I think it would be fun for the bad kids to join her as teachers so here's what I think they teach

Kristen- Cleric teacher obviously. I think she's the most powerful and best cleric in the world, or at the very least Elmville even if she stumbles a lot. I think her background as helioic/solesian, who created her own god and found then revived another gives her a very unique perspective for any young clerics out there. I also think as someone who worships a pantheon it would work like Yolanda giving up her path of following a single god to be more fair to the students she teaches, unlike Bobby Dawn. Kristen has made as many mistakes as you can as a cleric so she would be a very good person to teach kids who might have anxiety about their choices.

Fabian- Bard Teacher, dance and sword. Corsica is a young woman as the fighter teacher so there's no real reason to replace her when the bad kids come of age. Fabian also drifted away from fighter so hard to bard it's clear where his heart is even if he's still an amazing fighter. I think he would be the teacher that brags about being the future and present of dance, along with being the Oracool of Dance to his students. He also has made a lot of steps from his stumbles in his school days and assures his students it's okay to fail, it's okay to wallow but you do have to pick yourself up still. Seacaster manor is still used as a study hall for any students who need it and his is the teacher willing to help any and all students, no matter the class or grade

Gorgug- Barbarian teacher. While I think artificing has his heart more, I could see Gorgug as an amazing Barbarian teacher. His goal is to undo a lot of the toxic aspects of rage and being a barbarian that people like Porter tried to force upon the class and the students taking it. He teaches about the positives of rage, that while it's a strong weapon, it can be an amazing shield to protect people. He is also the main multiclass advisor, he never refuses an MCAT request, he does ask questions but to let students talk about their interests not to make thing think their ideas are stupid or pointless

Riz- Rogue teacher. I think Riz starts to work for the CoC (Council of Chosen) for a bit after graduation, but doesn't like it since it feels more like Narc shit than spy work like his dad did. He's more fair than Yolanda, he is on school grounds more so kids have a chance to find him instead of having to go to a town miles away to find Eugenia. He focuses on the practical application of being a rogue, stressing that it's more than just damage for sneak attack. Being a rogue is about team work to make sneak attack easier, knowing your terrain to making hiding easier and not to jump into lava when you're not fire resistant or immune, investigating things not just focus on killing people

Fig- Sorcery teacher. Obviously she wouldn't be the bard teacher. She didn't go to bard classes as a student, why would she go as a teacher, despite being one of the most famous musicians in Spire. At first it seems like she's just another Jace, you know just hanging with her students instead of really teaching because sorcery is innate. But she's actually very good with them, she actually has experience in knowing what it's like to get powers from your blood instead of hard work. she also encourages her students to try multiclassing since they have time at school, she doesn't want them wasting the time they have when their young. Hackysack is fun, but they should try things when they're young and can get easy A's so try other class.

Adaine- Before she became principal she takes over for Tiberia as the wizarding teacher. she is much kinder and sympathetic than the previous teacher. She also doesn't make her students buy their own spell components and she makes sure that they know that they can explore other disciplines. Everyone thinks she's the sweet gentle wizard teacher until one of her students get bullied and she throws the other kid off them, or a monster attacks the school and she just decks it in the face exploding it's skull from the force of the blow. I also think she recommends that her students get exercise more than any previous wizard teacher. Studying and reading is important, but spells aren't everything, sometimes a healthy lifestyle can save you more than just magic.

[supermarket-goblin]

I think in the world where Mary Anne is the Bad Kids barbarian, Gorgug ask his mum and dad to drop off early (so his new class mates don't watch him clumsily climbing out of the too small car) and he is already at class by the time Fabian arrives perfectly on time. Mary Anne Skuttle, however, bowls up just past the bell, pushes past Fabian, quokki pet in hand, bags under her eyes. And for the disrespect, he punches her, and she absolutely hits him right back. Gorgug was mocked by Porter and no one cared to stand up for him (Fig was in class for Mary Anne, not him), which pushed him to switch to Artificing when his interests began to lean that way, abandoning barbarian all together by the end of his second year. He never really let go of that rage. He became a member of the Rat Grinders alongside Buddy after Lucy and another member (A Zealot Barbarian) of the Rat Grinders disappeared. His anger, that he never found a true outlet for, became Kipperlilly's weapon after she killed him at the Frostyfair Folk Festival.

[chronicallyonline101]

hi its me, i LOOVEEE the way you've characterised everyone in DK and it makes me wonder how many HCs you have for them all????? because theyre so unique down to the littlest of details, like Formaggio liking Smashmouth and Ghiaccio preffering Warhammer over DnD! i want to hear ur headcannons. share them with the class

hello again !!!! i will share !

I've got... a LOT. so i'll put them under cut!

La Squadra Headcanons!

Risotto HCs:

Started the hitman team at age 21 in 1994.

- Lived with his Aunt and Uncle growing up because his Catholic parents thought he was a 'bad omen'.

- Started a band with his cousin when they were around ten or eleven, stopped playing instruments after his cousin died.

- Was technically 'kidnapped' by Passione after killing the man who hit his cousin, emotionally manipulated under the guise that the organisation had 'saved' him from being sent to prison. This is one of the reasons he turned traitor.

- Likes writing poetry and short stories; particularly graphic, gory horror stories. When he was younger, he had wanted to be an author. Nowwadays he can't really see a future for himself.

- Keeps one of those diaries where when you input the code a song plays and it opens.

The song he chose is Enter Sandman, by Metallica. It's his favourite because it reminds him of himself, but if anyone asks him his favourite song he'll say something obscure like Creeping Death because he doesn't want to be seen as some basic poser.

- Forced Prosciutto to listen to The Grateful Dead.

- He's normally quite cordial with his workspace; the Hideout and his office are clean and proper, but his bedroom is extremely messy. It's his own space, so he lets it get tatty because he doesn't want to associate it with the stress of work.

- Has a really bad posture because he always has to hunch over to do paperwork.

- He's always quiet, not because he's mysterious and cool but because he was very isolated as a teenager and has ZERO social skills - he's always scared he'll mess up and say something weird, so he's very reserved.

In turn, he's created a sort of 'Boogeyman of Passione' name for himself. He's learnt to embrace his timid nature.

- The bells on his coxcomb are a test of stealth for himself. When you put a bell on a cat, it learns to hunt without ringing it; he's done the same.

On the contrary, though, it's not uncommon to hear jangling inside the hideout as he goes about his business because he doesn't feel the need to conceal himself within the presence of his teammates.

- Had anaemia growing up, was shot with the arrow and obtained Metallica; it cured his anaemia, but then he developed haemochromatosis - which is a result of too much iron building up in the blood over a prolonged period of time.

Since Metallica is his stand, his case of haemochromatosis isn't too severe and the symptoms aren't bad. It doesn't affect his work too much, but he can often become very fatigued and experiences a lot of joint pain.

- He is an artifical stand user (hit by the arrow.)

Prosciutto HCs:

Joined the hitman team at age 19 in 1994.

- Pesci and Prosciutto are half-brothers; they share the same mother but have different fathers. Pesci looks more like their mum while Prosciutto looks more like his father - this caused a rift in their family because Pesci ended up being the favourite child.

- Was raised Catholic; claims to be atheist, but in truth upholds agnostic ideologies that he will sometimes accidentally project onto his teammates.

- Doesn't like smoking, but it's a habit he's gotten stuck into. He doesn't know how to quit.

- Joined La Squadra two years before Pesci, during this time Pesci thought he had died.

- Often uses their late mother as a way of manipulating Pesci: e.g. "What would she think of you behaving like this?" , "She'd be disappointed in you."

He doesn't realise how bad this behaviour is, he thinks he is doing the right thing in trying to mentor Pesci.

- Unlike Risotto, Prosciutto didn't know what he wanted to be while growing up. He was very focused on his classes in school, often earning lots of rewards and prizes but he only did it to try and earn his mothers affections. He never actually liked school.

That being said, his intellect is natural. He has always been very smart without trying.

- He has a gap in his front teeth and he HATES it because everyone tells him it looks cute and he doesn't want to look cute he wants to look scary and cool.

- Doesn't understand why Pesci is so morally upstanding. Why is it so hard for him to kill? Look, Prosciutto just killed twenty people! In one go!

Because of the Grateful Dead, it is very easy for Prosciutto to kill and not face the moral consequences of his actions. His kills are indirect and 'merciful', as he puts it - whereas Pesci has to get physical. He needs to come into direct contact to kill, so he has to deal with the moral turmoil that comes with murder.

- I also like to think he's got really prominent eyebags and forehead wrinkles because of how often he is subjected to the effects of his own stand.

Like, he seems to be able to control how his own body ages and shifts between old and young whenever a situation negates it, nd I don't think it's very good for his skin to be doing that all the time.

Maybe he has an extensive moisturising routine to combat the effects of his stand?

- Cleans messes on instinct; even if it isn't his own, he cleans up after everyone. He knows this is bad because it just gives everyone else a reason to be slobby, but he can't help it - nobody else ever cleans to the degree he likes anyways, so he might as well do it.

- He is an artifical stand user (hit by the arrow.)

Formaggio HCs:

Joined the hitman team at age 23 in 1995.

- Gwess and Formaggio are also half-siblings! Different mothers, and about twenty-years difference between the two of them so Formaggio probably didn't know she existed until a LOT later in life.

ALSO. when i first watched Stone Ocean i kept mishearing Gwess' name as Gwyn, so I headcanon her to be Welsh, which means by default I also headcanon Formaggio to be Welsh !!! But that's a HC i tend to leave out of my fics cuz it's really outlandish.

- If he'd lived until 2012, I like to think he would have tried to break Gwess out of prison. Probably would have failed.

- Got his cat as a gift from his mother when he was a teenager, it's the only thing he has left from his mother and so he tries his hardest to take care of her - even if he is struggling to take care of himself.

Despite this, he still shoves his cat into bottles and jars and things. It's a really cool party trick! Everyone always thinks he's so cool, like some kind of magician!

- Unlike Risotto and Prosciutto, who were both raised Catholic, Formaggio's parents were both atheist. His mother attended Church, but it was mostly an excuse to get away from his father and he never bothered to go with her.

- Has joint pain and muscle soreness from how often he has to shrink himself and then re-grow himself.

- Like's to collect mini-things; like those little baking kits. He thinks they are so cute!

- He is a natural redhead, like in the manga, but dyes his hair grey, like in the anime, so that he doesn't get bullied.

- He is a natural stand user (born with ability.)

Pesci HCs:

Joined the hitman team at age 19 in 1996.

- Pesci would rather be doing ANYTHING else. He never wanted to be a hitman. He doesn't like killing - not because he's all soft and sensitive like people make him out to be, but because he has morals and??? killing people? is wrong?

So why is he a hitman?

Well, I think Pesci has had the WORST life humanely possible. At twelve, his dad died in a boating accident. At sixteen, his brother 'went missing', presumed dead. At seventeen, his mother died. He was so lonely, and isolated, that when he realised his brother was in fact alive, he was willing to do anything to try and give himself purpose.

- Despite joining the team years beforehand, Pesci only had his first kill in 2001. This was because Prosciutto still coddles him as his little brother and he can get away with doing less on hits.

It's kind of manipulative - like, weaponizing faux incompetence, but he doesn't care.

- He wanted to be a fisherman when he grew up, like his father had been; he rarely has time to go fishing since joining the hitman team.

- If he could leave the team, he probably would.

- That being said, I think if he had lived past the events of VA he would have had the potential to become one of the most powerful hitmen on the team - and that is why Prosciutto never gave up on him, despite his supposed 'cowardice'

- His hair matts really easy so he tries to keep it short; he'll spend hours before bed trying to brush knots out of it.

- He is a night-owl, and likes staying up until quite late into the night listening to music or doing some of his other hobbies, like painting or drawing - he is extremely creative!

But because of this, when he does go to sleep, he often ends up sleeping until the late hours of the day. He is always criticised for this by Prosciutto.

- He is an artifical stand user (hit with arrow.)

Melone HCs:

Joined the hitman team at age 18 in 1994.

- Pookie... where do I even start.......

- I think he has mild heterochromia; one of his eyes is a blue-ish green and the other is blue. He used to be bullied for it, which is why he covers it.

Since joining the hitman team and meeting Risotto - who, yk, has funky eyes - he has learnt to like his eyes a bit more.

- Melone wanted to be a doctor or a scientist when he grew up. He loves biology and chemistry, particularly in regards to the creation of human life: reflected in his stand, Babyface.

I like to think that he had toyed with 'creating life' even before he got his stand; as a teenager he would do old fashioned experiments with homunuculuses and other alchemy.

- Since Junior is not connected to his body, he often does not get injured during missions. He is the least muscular and most lithe out of everyone on the Hitman team, however, maintains a semi-athletic built as he maintains a very firm exercise routine - being a Hitman takes a lot of muscle, so he can't get away with not exercising in the same way his teamates do, even if he experiences less threat than them.

- He also has a lot less scars than the rest of them for this very reason.

- His teammates are hot-headed, quick-thinkers; he is not. He is slow, cold and calculated. Since he is almost never in the heat of a battle, he is allowed to sit back and think. He has the time to calculate his next move.

This is his downfall, however; when Giorno's snake finds him in the trainstation he isn't given a chance to think through his next decision. The attack is quick and painful. ☹️.

- Unlike the rest of the team, he didn't know his parents that well. They sold him to Passione when he was very young, so any memory he does have of them has been soured.

- They were likely atheists, though.

- He can be quite manipulative at times, and he knows exactly what he's doing. In fact, he has a chart on Babyface which shows him the traits and weak-points of all his teammates; he knows near everything about them, and can poke and prod in a way that gets him exactly what he wants.

- His outfit squeaks whenever he walks. He's really bad at stealth missions.

- He also has REALLY bad posture (which I think is semi-canon tbh cuz, during that one scene where they are searching Donatella's house he walks into the room and HE LOOKS LIKE A SHRIMP.)

- I also have a transfem hc for Melone, but the last time I shared that with someone they started tweaking and told me it was weird so I mostly keep that to myself now  😭

- If he had lived, I think he would have had a MySpace and Tumblr, I think he'd of liked how you can customise your own blog and how it's your own little space to yap about whatever!

- Has a HORRIBLE sleep schedule. Not because he has insomnia or anything, but just because he always gets distracted on his laptop right before bed and ends up staying up until 4-5am.

Like Pesci, he is more of a night-owl anyways. The two often end up bumping into each other in the middle of the night.

- He is an artifical stand user (hit by arrow.)

Ghiaccio HCs:

Joined the hitman team at age 20 in 1994.

- His brash personality is a result of his bad upbringing. His parents were very abusive, and so he is used to having to bite back at those around him; he is constantly in 'defence mode' and snaps at the people around him often unintentionally.

He feels bad about it, but doesn't know how to stop. It's especially hard to recover from this habit when his teammates are always plucking at his nerves.

- With that in mind; his parents are rich.

Like, how else could he have that convertible??? La Squadra was getting paid PENNIES and then he rolls up to HQ in his shiny new eighty-one-million lira (i did the math for this) car????

- His parents seemed to think buying him nice stuff would win his affections. He got the car for his 18th birthday, and still uses it despite having since cut off his parents.

- He went to a private school growing up and is objectively the most educated on the entire team.

- Because of the way he was raised, he detests authorative figures. He didn't like Risotto when he first joined the team, but has since learnt to respect his stoic leader.

- Reads play-scripts for fun. (im projecting)

- REALLY likes tabletop RPGS, but would rather die than tell ANYONE about his little hobby.

He finds it to be a good distraction, especially after getting mad and blowing up at someone; painting the figures, or reading the rules, or playing the game can be a good way for him to focus on something else and relax.

His favourite is Warhammer, though. He doesn't like D&D, he thinks its for mainstream wannabe nerds. Not him. He's cool. (he's not.)

- He pretends to hate Fallout, but secretly loves it. I've talked abt it on my blog before, but I think when the first game came out in 1997 he was SO mad that RPG games were getting popular - Formaggio got into it and he felt like his interests were getting invaded, so he refused to play the game for like a year until the second Fallout came out in 1998, and he realised it was actually a really good game.

He is probably rolling around in his grave watching how Bethesda is slowly destroying the franchise.

- His family was Catholic, but he is an atheist.

- If he had lived, I like to think he would have DEFINITELY had a Reddit and 4Chan acct, but he wouldn't use it often because it would piss him off how stupid everyone is on there.

- He desperately needs a hug but doesn't know it and refuses to ask anyone for it. He is SO touch starved.

- Unlike Melone, he has a really good sleep schedule but suffers with insomnia. He takes melatonin gummies to go to sleep.

- He has a very good schedule in general; he exercises regularly, eats healthily, showers every day - with special shampoo to retain his curls, and likes to go for at least half an hour walks outside. A routine keeps him stable, he would fall into bad habits if he didn't have complete dictation over his own life.

- Because of this, he can grow extremely irritated when there are disruptions to his routine. Which happens often, since being a Hitman can be quite unpredictable.

- His stand is natural (born with ability.)

Illuso HCs:

Joined the hitman team at age 19 in 1995.

- Knows everything about everyone and WILL use it as blackmail.

- He is EXTREMELY nosy and will stick himself into EVERYONES business. Nobody is safe.

- Can be quite rude at times, but he never actually means it. It's just his way of showing affection. He has quite a sarcastic sense of humour that other people on the team *COUGH* GHIACCO *COUGH* don't get.

- Had to become very independent from a young age. He didn't have a father, only his mother which meant that when she developed a deadly sickness in his teens he was forced to support for the family by himself.

- BUT because of the fact that he was raised by his mother, he respects women! Yay! It's why he's into more 'feminine' stuff, he's never really seen an issue with being girly, and sometimes the others bully him for it but he doesn't care.

- He was probably raised Catholic, but doesn't really care for religion.

- He is a sleepwalker AND a sleep-stand-user (a term I made up), and will routinely freak everyone out by showing up in their mirrors in the middle of the night.

- He is so self-centred, yet blindingly insecure, that he thinks anyone who so-as-much spares him a glance is interested in him. With that in mind, he is oblivious to people who actually show interest in him.

- Illuso didn't know what he wanted to be when he grew up. He was forced into a role of authority so quickly, that he was never actually given a chance to think for himself.

- If he did get given a chance to pick his own career, he would likely stay on the Hitman team. He doesn't have the school-grades to get any job that is actually worthwhile, and he doesn't see a reason to leave his team.

- Refuses to let any of his teammates use two-in-one shampoo. If he sees it, he's throwing it. He once caught Formaggio using three-in-one and almost had a heart attack.

- Like Melone, if he had lived he probably would have owned a MySpace account.

- He is a natural stand user (born with stand)

Sorbet & Gelato HCs:

Joined the hitman team at ages 21 in 1995.

- I don't have a lot for these two, BUT, i could never forget them.

- I like to think they met in secondary-school, (high-school, for the Americans) but they didn't get together for a WHILE.

- This is because they were in totally different social circles. Gelato was quite popular and chatty, he knew a lot of people and was invited to parties like every weekend - yk, classic airheaded blond - whereas Sorbet was a social outcast and didn't have a lot of friends.

- But they are both extremely virile and violent.

- I think Gelato used to get a kick out of hurting other things. It started with animals, but eventually turned to that of people - he likes having control over things, knowing he is more powerful than those around him. He was a rampant bully, and took to hurting those he saw as 'less-than' him.

- Sorbet on the other hand, while he didn't actively go around hurting people for control, was into very grotesque things. He liked those weird, sexual slasher films of the 80's and took extreme interest in blood and gore and the likes.

- BECAUSE OF THIS, when they did eventually find each other, they clicked immediately! I'm not gonna share how I HC them having met, because it's spoilers for DK  🤭 but it's dramatic, it's bloody, and it's romantic!

- A lot of people interpret them both as being money hungry, but I don't think that's the case! In the series, when asked where they are, Ghiaccio suggests they might be "Playing hooky" (i hate that phrase sm), BUT THEN Risotto says "Gelato, maybe, but Sorbet always comes for his cut of the pay."

- Which makes me believe that out of the two of them, Sorbet is the greedy one. I think that Gelato doesn't care about money, and if he had been in charge the two wouldn't have tried to go against the Boss - but he loves Sorbet, and he wanted him to be happy. So when the discussion was first brought up, he had his reservations but trusted that they could pull this off.

THATS ALL. its all i can think of rn... i probably have more somewhere but ong I can't remember :(

[ourstoatmeansdeath]

I've seen a bunch of great posts about Gorgug, identity, multiclassing, and the way Porter and Henry are handling Gorgug's artificer goals.

To me (and a lot of others), it seems like Gorgug wants to multiclass for identity reasons. His adoptive parents are tinkerers, and artificing is a great way to connect with them. And Gorgug's original class of barbarian is associated with half orcs, so that's a way to connect to his birth parents.

Both Porter and Henry say that artificer and barbarian don't really make sense together. Poor Gorgug. I wish we could throw some Anzaldúa and Borderlands at him. [who knows, maybe Jawbone will!]

Henry also says that just because artificing doesn't come naturally to Gorgug doesn't mean he can't do it. Henry says he'd bet on the people who are working every day to be good at something, not the folks who have natural talent. Whereas Porter says Gorgug has natural abilities as a barbarian, but Porter still doesn't think Gorgug gets what rage is. So neither Porter nor Henry think natural ability is the only way to be a class. Porter doesn't think that Gorgug is a good enough barbarian in spite of Gorgug's natural abilities in the class. (Not to mention that Porter thinks Fig really gets being a barbarian, when she doesn't even have a level in the class lol.) Whereas Henry thinks that Gorgug can become a great artificer regardless of any natural talent. And Henry tells Gorgug that Gorgug can do artifacing outside of the structures of school.

How damning is it when the STEM-coded character has more open ideas about identity than you Porter?!?!?! Be better!

[reredram]

Slowly but surely I'm making designs for TFR scugs General Lore: - All artifical slugcats have monocolored eyes, naturaly born slugcats have pupils(Exept Rivulet, he's special) - Slugcats inside countries are anthro, and more advanced than slugcats that live in wilds of wastelands - Most of artifical slugcats were created by Seven Red Suns, or at least they're based on his blueprints - All of the artifical slugcats are always loyal to the iterators. Artificer is the only exeption, she combusted herself to almost comatose state to break this taboo

Artificer, Leader of the Rebellion Arti is a leader of rebellious group of scavs and scugs that are against of current government. Her reasons to go against her own creators were the facts, that her children were sentenced to death by execution by fabricated case. She was created by Seven Red Suns and Five Pebbles as Soldier Prototype, but her abilities were considered too dangerous not only to enemies, but to allies, so this project was discontinued.

Hunter, Assassin Hunter was created for NSH as his own bodyguard, but showman gave them more duties to perform, like butler work and assassinations, the last ones being performed rarely. He dedicated his whole life to serving iterators, and his believe in them is unshakeable.

Spearmaster, 1st class agent SRS' slugcat soldier unit, brought to perfection. They isn't fully mute, they just speak way less than others, and only if it's important. His believes in iterators is very strong, so when news about Suns being the leader of the rebellion got confirmed, they immediately renounces their creator, taking the side of iterators. Although, when in beginning of 3rd act Suns gets revived, Spearmaster gets punished for turning back on their creator, and SRS cuts his tongue out.

Rivulet\Ruffles, Double Agent Moon created hersef a perfect spy, a two-faced slugcat, which is very quickly insinuated into trust with others. He works on both sides of the conflict, remaining the neutrality 'till the very end, where he betrays rebels, giving out all the information to iterators, sabotaging their plan.

Saint, Prophet of the Asentsion Saint was created by SoS as ultimate controllabe weapon. He posesses the abilities of levitation, future foresight and asention. In certain circumstances he can asent even iterators, like in case of Seven Red Suns being sentenced to death through execution by him.

Gourmand, First-class chief He is a simple guy, Gourmand is a chief in very expensive restaurant and he has many awards for his success in cooking. He just lives his happiest life, not caring enough about regime being unfair.

Monk, Religious Outcast He is an old priest who began to openly express outrage towards the government, which "disturbed the balance of nature." The execution of the priest would have attracted too much negative attention, so he was expelled from the country, covering it up by the fact that he voluntarily went into a pilgrimage.

Some time later, he and his brother Survivor found an oasis in the middle of a scorched wasteland, Outer Expanse

Survivor, Protector of Outer Expanse Younger brother of troubled priest. When his brother gets exiled, he follows him, to make sure that he won't get in trouble. He helps to protect Outer Expanse from any danger, slowly becoming very skilled fighter.

Enot, Far Gone Enigma A slugcat with Murphy's law in his life, that have nothing to lose. Becomes a love interest of Saint somehow.

[baeddel]

when i was a child i liked combat sports; i took martial arts classes (i forget which form) and i competed in fencing. i had to stop when i went to highschool because we didn't have time for it anymore. after leaving highschool i met a girl who did boxing and i planned to go and sign up at her gym to learn it with her, but i became too ill and it never happened. still, it had reignited my interest in combat sports and i would talk about it with people. i told one guy that i liked the look of Muay Thai; he expressed a common view, which was that martial arts like this sucked, because they were impractical in a real fight. he liked Krav Maga because it was real.

[long-ish post about fighting]

and i always objected to that kind of thinking! look here: it's true that much of the game which is played on the mat is produced by the restrictions placed on combatants. even in a very permissive sport like MMA, the great importance of ground fighting to that sport is produced by the restriction on fish-hooks and head kicks. thus, you can say that even these fights 'aren't real' in some sense. but how often are you ever going to be in a fight where you're willing to rip the other guy's cheek out, gouge out his eyes and so forth? Krav Maga was first developed for Jews to defend themselves from anti-semitic mobs in the 1930s. i know that some of you have certainly been in fights like that; but not all fights are that existentially serious. even in fights where there is such a high level of emnity there are often factors which restrain the fight from becoming an existential one. if you live somewhere that fascists are embedded and you blind one of theirs in a fight you might expect retribution; likewise you would be guilty of a felony and might get in real trouble. apprehensions like this might stay your hand—and already you are engaging in a kind of combat which is to some extent governed by extra-martial rules that produce a to some extent artificial situation.

of course, some martial arts will be more useful to know in the kind of combat games you are likely to play even so, and Muay Thai has not suddenly become more useful than Krav Maga on the basis of what i said. but i think that it is common to 1. underestimate the usefulness of even highly artifical combat sports, like fencing, and 2. overstate the utility of various 'self-defence' techniques, especially blinding, because the artificial, rules-governed nature of real fights is forgotten.

on point one, i would always credit my fencing experience with my success at fighting in highschool. i would sometimes even adopt the pose—one hand back, foot pointed forward—and people would (jokingly) say, 'it's [her] style! [she's] the fencer!' this part was not really useful; these fights were between friends and featured no emnity; we wanted to entertain the crowd, so there was a certain amount of kayfabe. but we were teenagers and behaved badly; once blows began we really hurt each other, and i even sent a few kids to the hospital (one with a concussion and the other with a wounded leg). plus, secret feelings of jealousy and resentment could be awakened during the course of the fight, so more emnity was felt as the fight grew more serious. what i thought really helped me from all the fencing matches was simply the sparring experience. when another living person attacks you without relenting, watches your movements for openings, and tries to stop whatever you do to them, it's difficult not to be overwhelmed and confused. being able to keep a level head, comprehend the situation and make decisions in the moment gave me an advantage over less experienced friends.

on the second point, i had older male friends who gave me a lot of advice that i can now recognize was plainly bad advice. for example, a girl i had a crush on had an older brother who always gave me and her other friends a hard time. i hated him so much i wanted to do something about him. so my friend told me that when fighting a larger and stronger opponent, i should do this... and this... a lot of techniques that had i really gone and done it would have left him permanently blind and disfigured. how do you think my crush would have felt if i went and did all that to her brother? these 'real' street fighting techniques were not useful in a real fight—a fight with stakes proportional to my real situation. when i did end up in situations with existential stakes (you know the stories) these techniques did nothing for me, since i would be alone against multiple attackers, or the other guy had frightening connections, or there was an asymmetry of power (who teaches 'defense against a guy in a car'?). in all cases the only wothwhile advice i ever got was this: you cannot run away in high heels.

similarly, when we had our low-stakes fights at school, the crowd would call out for me to punch the other guy in the face, or to kick him when he was down. afterwards they were disappointed that i didn't 'really go for him.' all this kind of talk really got to me; i would be standing there, facing my opponent and saying to myself, 'do it! do it!' in the end i never punched anyone in the face or tried any kind of dirty fighting at all. for this i hated myself so much. i was furious with myself; i would sit down and be angry at myself for a long time. i considered myself a coward and a weakling because i wouldn't go 'all in.' i didn't 'have the guts.' actually, what i felt was compassion for another person, and it was not a contemptable restraint at all. what was i trying to do—what was i trying to become? i think this is a way you can be misled by the discourse around 'real fighting.'

[whereserpentswalk]

You live on a planet where humans have been forced to have only one biological sex. You're at the edge of human space, and early in colonization you planet was under attack from an outside source, for survival you had to switch to artificial breeding, which is more effective in mammal species if there's only females, as male reproductive cells are easily synthesized.

You're the only humans in the region. Most alien species you interact with just think of humans as a single sexed species that has artifical reproduction. Though you understand that humans used to have two sexes you barely actually interact with that concept. You don't really think of yourself as having a gender identity or anything, you're kind of just a person. The last male human on your planet has been dead for generations.

You first saw a photo of human male in a history class when you were a teenager. He looked so odd to you. He was deep in the uncanny valley, something that felt very familiar to you, something you evolved to interact with, but something so unfamiliar. Illustrations of males, especially outside of academic sources, always play up unfamiliar features to make them into something almost like a fantasy race, but you find something almost charming about the one in the photo.

That photo sticks with you in a weird way. It's kind of scary. Especially the idea of living at a time with actual male female dynamics. The idea of a man being inside you, however that must work, seems so viscerally horrifying to you. You've known people who've had sex before, it's controversial in your society for people to have sex with eachother, but it's legal, but it seems so diffrent then whatever you'd be expected to do with a male human.

Time passes. You end up living your own life. You major in music once you get to college, and end up with a semi successful career as a guitarist in the capital of one of your planet's countries. Things go well for you. You live your life thinking slightly more about men then most people do, but it's never that important to you.

One day there's word that ambassadors from another human planet are visiting. They're from several systems away, and very culturally diffrent. And it's most likely that they'll have men with them. It's strange to think you might actually be able to see one. You think of them as this strange race of monsters, so clearly linked to you but unlike you. Everything people say about men, that they're violent and warlike, that they're superior yet evil, that they're weaker yet more honest and good natured, rushes through your head.

You sign up to be a musician in the welcoming band to the ambassadors. It's scary but you enter. You win, partly because you're local and talented, partly because most other musicians were too afraid.

When the ambassadors from another human planet show up its on one of your city's largest streets, with cheering crowds and flashing lights. You play a song you realize your entire planet is going to hear. Then for the first time in your life, after about two and a half decades of being alive, you see a male human.

The males in the ambassadorial mission are mixed together with normal people. But you can easily spot the males. They're strange looking to you, the way they walk, and speak and move. Though you realize their foreign way of dressing is honestly more alien then anything biological. Despite your expectations, the males look oddly human, they are human, they're just more like you then you'd expect, they look a bit diffrent, but they're honestly just normal people. It's almost anticlimactic.

When everyone is talking to eachother later you're meant to interact with the musicians of their world, most of whom seem to be male. It's so strange to think you're actually talking to someone whose male. You were kind of worried some sort of mating instincts would set in, but after a lifetime of being raised to never expect to have any sexual experiences that involve more then one person, your mind doesn't really go in that direction, even if you did have those instincts.

You end up talking for awhile in your only shared language (a long dead one) to another guitarist. He's male but it's weirdly not a big deal, he's less obviously male then some of the others, and he seems like a nice freindly person. You realize his voice is deep, but it's not distorted in monstrous like you expected it to be. You realize you shouldn't talk about his sex, so you talk about music. You end up really interested in his culture's musical traditions, and kind of ignore his sex. You almost forget he's a man. Since he'll probably have to stay on the planet for at least a few months he tells you he'd like to meet again mabye. He shakes your hand, his skin doesn't feel diffrent then anyone else's, you don't know why you'd expect it not to.

[howitcouldgoes]

DEFO DEFO TAZ SPOILERS

So one of my favorite taz aus is what I call "the replacement au" or the "Lup Au" which is basically what if it was Taako who died or went missing and it was Magnus, Merle, and Lup working for the BOB

In which case that poses a lot of questions for each arc so lemme tell you my theories on how it would've gone

Here they be gerblins:

Lup has always had a horrible ache in her heart. She wouldn't call it depression but no matters how hard she tries to move on and forget. She has always felt something painful and missing in her heart. Like someone ripped out a huge half of it and left her with the rest. She's had this feeling all her lonely life as a single child and no matter what magic she used on herself or how many people she surrounded herself with... she couldn't escape that feeling... Magnus and Merle somehow helped though. Being the absolute dumbasses they are.

Lup finds herself flirting with barry blue jeans and disappointed he wont be joining them later-

Lup sees Taako's skeleton/corpse and takes the wizard hat and his glave(or whatever his magical weapon he made during their year of artificing was)

She feels drawn to the phoenix fire gauntlet and she teases about putting it on alot(before phandalin goes to shit), she also gives it a high five but she isnt dumb enough to put it on and understands how dangerous it is and how devestating the events that follow are

Lunar interlude one

Lucretia is baffled to see lup having taako's things on but thats not important

im gonna say Lup gets pretty similar things to taako since they are the same class(just different schools of magic)

She doesn't fuck with leon as much as taako does but she still does of course

Murder on the rock port limited:

They get on the train without charm person but of course theyre still "not who they appear to be" as merle keeps loudly insisting they kill the ticket guy

Lup respects angus but they dont get close as he does with Taako so instead Angus gets closer with Magnus though Lup does offer to teach angus some magic lessons

Smokes that crab

Pretty much all of the taako things except she might be a lil less dramatic about the drink cart

Petals to the metal

Lup and hurley are bffs dont even trip

Lup defo found Sloane attractive but backed off when she found out she was taken

also found captain captain bane attractive

a quip of "My type are hardcore nerds with those obnoxious spectacles and sexy science facts"

Lup either picks a mongoose mask or goes with a phoenix I imagine

She would threaten the guards to get into the hammerhead base at first but then switch up to help out Merle's plan - or she'd just straight up kill the last guy and hit em with the "I forgot about that"

Since theres no way to absorb the arcane core she makes it explode and it works just as well

You can assume she has taakos position in the car ride, but most likely she cannot summon Garyl and instead klaarg comes in and saves merle and later her

Red robe shows up and shes the only one who fucking remembers the director telling them about them and she is the only one to insist they dont listen to him

but they do anyway and she gets majorly suspicious

Small lunar interlude:

Fuck Lucas but not fuck him but yknow

Oh yeah the red robe? "I want to let you know I am the only one who actually remembered we should've bounced"

Crystal Kingdom

Oooh transmutation relic not her thing

She cooks tho

Lucretia? "That's such a cute ass name, I'm gonna start calling you Lucy"

can i also have a red suit

that pink thing looks like salt

Also in consensus Lucas in fact a huge asshole.

Actually answers buddy bots question/riddles within the first two minutes

Yeah ill go into the elevator world? Oh no cockroaches? Yeah Lup makes fun of merle for liking cockroaches and then kills the one he missed.

They meet N03ll3 which is great and all but what do you mean you keep picking up lich activity

Go into Lucas's room cause Lup disguises self

Ok I dont know what a lich is why do you keep harassing me

Merle loses an arm oh fuck

Also gonna kill Lucas

fine lets learn some science

oh its that red bitch again - Lup is only not running because her boys wanna hear this too and also this lich is like weirdly flirting with her

"It's... Lup, where did you get that hat?" "Oh this? I took it off of some skeleton on our first adventure." "... oh my god.. you.. you found him... you..."

Weird I just made this lich who was flirting with me upset about my dope ass hat

YEAH SHES BEEN WEARING TAAKOS WIZARD HAT THIS WHOLE ASS TIME

skipping a bit woah oil can time

woah the crystal guy is back and instead of merle being the most dangerous its Luuuuuup? Whyyyyy????

"Wait haven't I seen you before?" He asks Lup and she tilts her head. The crystal shakes his head. "Nevermind. one second-"

Guys hes calling me a lich or possessed by one what do I do

Kick ass, Not tentacling dick ew, lucas there you are - woah magnus

Oh its the grim reaper, No we are not being shipped together-

Lore

"And you, Lup. Are still dead." "... Sorry what-" "You're dead?" "Nah I still got my hit points, I mean I'm bruised and bloody but I'm still alive." "Yeah is this maybe another Lup... or...?" "No. She's a lich. She is an undead entity that must be locked away in the eternal stockade." "How about fuck that (tries to kick his ass)"

More lore

YoU ATE THE WHAT

Oh hi kravitz, can you look pass this posession if I promise to have someone free me? And if this lich leaves me so im not a vessel anymore you can come get it, trust "... I.. I cannot let a lich get out of my sight." "Bro I cannot fight you anymore." "Well, it would be more dangerous if you died but you refuse to come peacefully." "I dont think Im a lich I just think im posessed - we've done a lot of crazy shit in our adventures-" bla bla bla fine its settled

We'll debrief in a sec ig here lemme uhh. i dont have transmutation its so over , just shape the damn stone and idk someone else can do magic right?

Debriefing oh yeah the red robe was there, yeah i lowkey dont really trust you, ok fine i can settle

They dont talk about the deaths to lucy in canon but after the debriefing Lup gathers the boys up and talks to them "Hey so you know how he called me an undead evil lich. so like... lets not tell the director and merle can you like perform an exorcism or something just to see if its true?" "Uh I have detective good and evil?" "Dope." And NOTHING HAPPENS BECAUSE LUP ISNT EVIL- but merle does detect some necromantic energy radiating off her whole being but he doesnt have like a spell to fix her so theyre like lets not worry about it rn

Lunar interlude

Alright angus this is magic, cooking? Why the fuck would i teach you how to cook

Ok you got me i grew up by myself in a lonesome life as a vendor but i didnt cook or anything I just spent my whole life doing side jobs and saving people. yeah fire is my speciality but like i wouldnt recommend it for you cause its literally fire. and youre a kid.

Whered I get the glave? A skeleton from a cave. He was wearing a red robe so lowkey maybe im possessed by his spirit but like... doubt.

Eleventh hour

I believe in you ango

woah we're here

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU FIGHTING THE WORMS LEAVE THEM ALONE THEYRE JUST BABIES

alright lets get this bread - bye avi - hello clay perosn. roswell? ok Wow that statue sure is red what the fuck

"This is bad.. this is a bad thing i did." Yeah I kept it.

Hi Cassidy im sure we can be besties

woah earthquake

Lets go in the inn, oh hello pretty elf lady, ok she doesnt care about me wdym you know magnus - guys wait dont make me talk to her alone

"Why do you live in a bubble?" "Lup." "WHAT?"

I wanna meet paloma fuck you guys

I will go to town on these scones, you need gold can I trade you anything else

I can hardly remember these goddamn loops so lets assume that lup and taako do alot of the same shit except she doesnt steal any of this shit -

Put him in a bubble... ok-

Hi Istus, What's this? Not a bag of holding? "This item... has the ability to bring back anyone from the dead, as long as they have been deceased for at least over a decade." "Oh this could be useful for all the guys you killed!" "Yeah!" "Well... you could save it too but... yes I suppose so?" "But only for over a decade." "Why the fuck is that so specific?" "STOP SWEARING IN FRONT OF CHRISTMAS" "ITS ISTUS"

Ok get that cup

Fuck you issak

WOAH ITS THE CUP BACKSTORY TIME; Besides the long periods of static and weirdly fuzzy childhood, Lup's biggest regret in her life? Well she didn't have anything really. She didn't put any of her skills to good use.. except once. She was performing her evocation magic for money and it got out of hand. She seriously injured an innocent person that resulted in their death. "Lup... that is your biggest regret. But it hasn't happened yet. If you claim me, we can go back and save that life. They would have never died. We can go back and save them."

thats the best i can do

Lup probably takes the longest to think this over because she cant handle the fact she murdered an innocent but Magnus's speak of "Tell me what happens if we dont do this" convinces her to stay

DONT KILL THE WORM YOU BITCHES, LISTEN TO JUNE

FREEDOM

Oh fuck its that red robe again - no we dont fucking trust you

"You don't... You don't trust me...?" He looks to Lup, and floats down to her level. Despite his occasional flattery and softness when he speaks to her, lowering himself and looking her in the eye pulls at something invisible in her heart. Something she hasn't felt in forever. "Lup...? You don't trust me?" "I don't even know you." The red robe whispers some more things and electricity flies off of him as he vanishes.

Hi Paloma oh a vision? "In your hour of greatest need, you will receive help from the forgotten one."

Ok back home - oh fuck IS THAT THE GRIM REAPER?

Lets fight? OK!

Lunar interlude

Date at the chug n squeeze? Wrong. Battle of the century. Almost.

Lup v Kravitz the two face off with Kravitz just trying to knock Lup out so he can safely transfer her into the astral plane without her dying

Lup, who doesnt think shes a lich, is just trying not to die.

They dont do this on the moon, they do this in neverwinter

IS THAT THE FUCKING RED ROBE?

As he saves you. As you're down you feel something phase through you as a red robe walks through your body and presents itself in front of Kravitz. He emits that same electricity off of his body and Kravitz looks baffled but only rifts a hole into the astral plane. "You're coming with me." As the battle is only beginning the red robe whispers to you, Lup; "Run."

PURCHASES THE RAGING FLAMING POISONING SWORD OF DOOM

Suffering game

Hey lucy, oh youre not fifty? Oh thats lowkey kind of fucked "Luckily as an elf i dont think i have to worry about that... sorry-"

Maggy where the fuck are you going

I feel like Lup would either follow magnus or magnus would defo ask Lup to help break out robi, so she does.

MAGNUS YOU FUCKING KILLED THEM-

Oh fuck get me out of here fighting these monsters

Lord artemis sterling and his bodyguards... cool.. ok

nvm lydia is hot

Ok this sucks

Lup gets the same sacrifices as Taako, so she takes the bad luck, shes fine with losing some life, hands? No Im not giving you my hand, fuck. MY APPEARENCE...? Yeah i dont care.

Chooses trust instead of forsake.

"Why should this person chose you?" "Uhh... Cause I'm hot as fuck." *applauds*

SAVES MAGNUS OFC - Oh is that the grim reaper? So Lup actually does try to save Kravitz cause lowkey she wants to be on good terms with him

Is that the red robe-

WE'RE TRUSTING HIM NOW????

her ghost looks ... weird.

Its nearly impossible to kill Edward, except when he's a lich. So. That's actually when Lup gets an idea. And she dies. Like full on explodes herself.

LICH LUP WOOOOOO

As soon as Lup is free from her body, her very very death and actually burning corpse. Everything hits her very slowly and soon all at once. So instead of killing edward immediately Lup instantly panics and starts to lose her cool... until "Lup?" She hears Barry's voice. It's not her anchor but it's enough to remind her of the situation at hand.

Lup destroys edward, so lydia destroys magnus's body

As Magnus sees Lup's liches form he isn't surprised, because he remembers when Lup sat down and told them all(?) about her and ... somebody's decision to become a lich... WAIT WHAT

Lup demands more answers from Barry and Magnus does the same, Barry is more sweet about it to Lup than Magnus

Merle is looking at Lup and Barry with upmost confusion and WHAT IS GOING ON????

To Barry's cave! Hey why is there two pods here

"So... I'm really glad actually, Lup, that you're here. And you're back... and as much as i wanna stop the end of the world to kiss you... We gotta move. We both saved what we could from our corporeal forms - mine is a bit more fresh but yours is back from the [starblaster]... so ... I actually don't know what you'll remember but youre gonna need it if we wanna get back on that moon base and confront Lucretia."

Merle can't hear anything and he is so confused, Magnus can understand this all and contiens demanding answers- before they both enter the tank, Magnus gets Lup's outfit while Merle pulls out deniem blue jeans AND WAIT BARRY AS IN BARRY BLUE JEANS?? beFORE THEY DO THIS

Lup looks to Barry and asks where Taako is. The name sounds familiar to Magnus, but his head is splitting in two before he can remember such a person. Barry can't bring himself to reply so he simply tells Lup he isn't sure but he doesn't have high hopes.

As they both go into their own tanks, Barry doesnt know anybody or anything. Lup steps out and she throws on her outfit and demands answers from magnus and merle of what happened after she died. "Am I a lich? Am I posessed? IS THAT BARRY?" And why is barry still so goddamn attractive?

Barry looks at Lup like shes the love of his life and actually starts being timid and nervous around her

Magnus tries explaining but once its all static the idea of another void fish comes to mind... PLANNING

BACK TO THE MOON BASE

heres the relic, magnus is dead, fuck you.

Oh hi angus, the truth? uhhhh i guess we can tell you oh is that zone of truth. dammit barry-

SECOND VOID FISH?

Oh my god........ my brother is dead. Taako is dead.

Hi Lucy, "I'm gonna fucking kill you now." But Barry holds Lup back as her fire wall is pathetic against her shield.

"I'm so sorry Lup but.. the pain was too unbearable. Taako.. Taako is gone. And he's not coming back."

Story and Song

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT-

As all hope seems lost after Lup remembers the other half of her heart, Barry and Lup are refusing to die because they cant be liches forever. They dont have anything to go back to-

She remembers Paloma's prophecy, and Istus's gift. It's a simple ritual - a simple spell and only thinking of her brother she casts it. And Lup almost loses it again when nothing happens.

It takes too much but Lucretia is the one who channels a spell to crush these beats in their own shield before she vanishes. ANd now we gotta do other shit yay

Lup and Barry and sent to find the ship but she can't bring herself to do so... "I... I know we're supposed to save the world and everything Barry but... but what's the point... without Taako here with us?"

Barry does what he can to comfort his fiance before he notices the sphere of black glass. "Listen.. do you remember in lucas's lab when we was going over everything?" "Ye.. yeah?" Barry takes a breath to elaborate but Lup cuts him off. "Barry you know transumtation isn't my school of magic." "I know but..." He points to the glave she's holding. "It's his."

And with that they feather fall down and give it a try.

While Barry begins to fight for his life - with the help of Lucas who joins them, Lup continuously tries and fails to open this portal. She slams her head against her own creation and curses Taako for not being here. How is she supposed to go on when Taako is gone? And she didn't even get to grieve? Or say goodbye? And why did Istus lie to her?

And then a rift in space opens. And there he is. Taako appears in his red robe without his hat or his weapon. Lup feels a hand on her shoulder suddenly as she hears her brother's voice say "Don't worry Lulu, I have magical powers." And when he touches his weapon to the sphere it's like an explosion goes off.

"Taako! Where'd you open that portal to?!" "The Astral Plane."

When Lup sees Kravitz (and he looks fucking awful.) behind him she suddenly flips out; "ARE YOU DATING THE GRIM REAPER?" "SHUT UP"

But it doesn't last long before Lup embraces Taako tightly.

TAAKO ONLY CAME BACK BECAUSE MEREL RECONNECTED WITH THE GODS BTW SO ISTUS COULDNT HOLD UP HER END OF THE DEAL UNTIL SHE WAS BACK-

OK SHIP TIME WE GET TOGETHER EVERYONE IS PISSED AT LUCRETIA BUT as theyre discussing the science behind it she suddenly offers, looking at the tres horny boys briefly that there is a third option. Thanks Paloma.

Taako stays on the plane to fight while Lup, sure she wont lose him again, kicks the hungers ass.

Epilogue, everything is pretty much the same because lup doesnt wanna run a school for magic and now that taako was apparently routing for lup in the astral plane the whole time shes off the hook

THE END YAYAYAYA

EDIT I KNOW I HAVE MORE WOOHOO:

Why does Taako die? Why does he care?

Well, Taako knew he couldn't just rely on a dance to cheer up Lup - so Taako decided he was going to do something good and destroy his sister's relic. Obviously he can resist the temptation but Cyrus Rockseeker does not. Taako blasts him with his glave(or clave or whatever) into the safe but ultimately dies.

We then we Taako wake up in the astral plane, behind the bars of the eternal stockade where a skeleton stands before him checking off a list. He says something in a cockney accent along the lines of "Finally, I've been lookin' for you."

"Crazy accent you go there Ghostrider, where am I?" "You're in the Astral Plane, Taako. Finally. You wouldn't happen to know where your others friends are? They're supposed to be locked up in here with you."

"... What-"

AND OVER THE TIME TAAKO SUCCESSFULLY FLIRTS AND SEDUCES KRAVITZ ESP POST CRYSTAL KINGDOM ARC AND THATS WHY THEYRE DATING NOW OK COOL-

[hickoryblossom]

The Quarry fantasy AU

(Okay, so it's loosely D&D based, as in I'm using classes, races, and alignments from D&D as well as a few tidbits of lore. But it's more so using that as a base for general fantasy than specifically D&D)

With that out of the way, I'm going to go character by character with some overview stuff at the end

Dylan lenivy

Half-Orc Bard/Artificer Neutral/Good

His dad is an orc, and his mom is a human. He grew up with his mother in a predominantly human village. So he doesn't have a lot of connection to his orc side, in fact you never met his father. He was treated like an outsider for most of his life. He's got a lot of insecurities ✨ (especially surrounding his appearance). Dylan has put a lot of work into being charismatic. Because people tend to have strong usually negative opinions just upon seeing him, and he does his best to counter those assumptions with his charming personality. All this along with his usual fear of social rejection and general want for people to like him.

He did an internship at a local academy, which is how he learned his artificing skills (ldk if that's the actual term). His mother taught him music. She taught him all he knows; she wanted him to follow in her footsteps and become a minstrel like her. But he's always been more proficient with tech, hence why he did the internship. (also I haven't decided what instrument he plays yet, maybe viola idk)

So Dylan, struggling to find work after the internship, ran into Jacob and Kaitlyn, who were looking to become adventurers, but the local guild requires at least three people to start an adventuring party, so they asked him if you'd be interested in adventuring with them. And Dylan bored and broke decides fuck it why not? And agrees. And so they went on quests together for a bit. But then they hit a trouble spot, they needed better equipment that they could not afford, and so wound up working at 'Hackett's Quarry summer camp for gifted young mages' to make enough money to get what they needed.

Kaitlyn Ka

Tiefling Ranger Neutral/Good

Kaitlyn, being a tiefling born to elf parents, was ostracized from a young age. When she was around maybe  10 years old (or at least that maturity level because elf lifespans are different) she met Jacob, and they became friends. Jacob also didn't get along super well with the other elves, so the two made an unlikely pair of little outcasts. Which eventually becomes a trio when they start adventuring with Dylan. She is incredibly capable, an excellent shot with a crossbow, and knows a whole lot about nature. She is also definitely the only reason Jacob hasn't gotten himself killed.

Jacob Custos

Elf Barbarain Chaotic/Good

Jacob, being the lovable himbo that he is he's quite the opposite of your typical elf. As well as I imagine he wasn't really able to tap into magic, which further isolated him from his peers. He wasn't bullied or anything, people just didn't exactly understand him, no one really took the time to get to know him, until Kaitlyn.

It was primarily Jacob's idea to become adventurers. Like, Kaitlyn was absolutely down for it, but it was definitely Jacob's idea.

Ryan Ezrahler

Half-Elf Druid Lawful/Good

Ryan lives with the human side of his family, his paternal grandparents, and half sister Sarah. He is very magically gifted. However, he didn't know how to control it when he was younger. So, his grandparents sent him to 'Hackett's Quarry summer camp for gifted young mages' so he could learn how to use his magic. Ryan has always been very connected to nature, so Mr H, who it's also a druid, took Ryan under his wing. So, like in canon, Chris is a father figure to Ryan. So he's working as a counselor because he cares a lot about the Hacketts, and the camp is like a second home to him, and he wants to help any other kids who are in the same situation he was in, terrified of the magic within them because they can't control it.

Abigail Blyg

Human Cleric Lawful/Good

Abi is a very sweet church going girl who just wants to help where she can. She is training to become a cleric of the sun God. As part of the church's program, the clerics in training get paired up with the paladins in training. So, Abi was paired with Nick. The two have only known each other for about a year. They get along pretty well. An important part of their training requires them to serve their community. And what they chose to do for that was to work at ‘Hackett’s Quarry summer camp' to help the children learn to control their magic. (“It's rather important to help the youth”)

Also, everyone thinks Abi and Nick are together. They're not, Nick definitely likes Abi, but she's having a bit of a Bi crisis over Kaitlyn.

Nick Furcillo

Human Paladin Neutral/Good

Tbh, I don't have that much for Nick. (He's a character I really want to like more than I do, there's just so little for him and canon, and I'm not exactly sure what I want to do for the au) He, much like in canon, spends most of his time as a werewolf.

I think that might be more interesting and stuff because he's a holy knight (in training) of the sun god, and yet he's the first of them to fall to the moon curse. (idk I might add more later)

If you guys have any ideas, feel free to share.

Emma Mountebank

Siren Worlock Chaotic/Neutral

So Emma is a warlock, and I wanted to work in her being an influencer into part of this, that's where I got this idea. So her patron is essentially like her audience. It is a collective of multiple consciousnesses. She calls it chat; it manifests as this little floating wisp that follows her around. And she talks to it, but only she can understand it, only she can hear it. So she often gets weird looks when she's just having what appears to be a one-sided conversation with this little ball of light. So, because of their pact, a lot of Emma's decisions, including why she's here as a counselor in the first place, are driven by what would be most entertaining to her patron(s).

Laura Kearney

Elf Rogue Lawful/Neutral

Laura is not that different from canon. She's just a little more vengeful. Because not only is Max afflicted with werewolf curse but also because of that has completely lost connection to his goddess. And Laura true to form is fully ready to go kill people to fix that.

I am thinking, though, how she and Max met was that she got pretty beat up and nearly died, and he was the one who saved her (cause like healing magic because cleric) and the rest is history kind of moment. I think it's cute. Also, like because she's a rogue, she's always clung to the shadows, and no one's really noticed her until Max. ( I adore these two so much and I need their love story to be so, so, cheesy.) Anyway, Laura would kill thousands just for Max, and he would rewrite the stars just for her.

Max Brinly

Elf Cleric Lawful/Good

Max is a cleric to the moon goddess. (I haven't decided yet exactly what the situation is but I want to do something like Selune and Shar from D&D basically there's a deity for the light side of the moon as well as a deity for the dark side of the moon) Max's goddesses is of the light side of the Moon. His relationship with this goddess is so important to him. As a matter of fact, the reason they were traveling a night early was specifically because it was a full moon. Max figured it would have been the best time for them to travel because his goddess would guide them and keep them safe. Which is why it's so awful that he got infected. Also, because, as mentioned previously, the curse cuts off his connection to his goddess even when it's not the full moon. And this is devastating for him. (I hate to do this to Max cuz I love him so much, but it's also so interesting story-wise)

✨Overview time ✨

OK, so two big important pieces of information, one, Eliza, Silas, and the rest of Harum Scarum, are Drow (dark elves) and they left the Underdark to find a cure for Silas. And they started doing their travelling shows so they could make money, so they could meet their basic needs while they searched the lands for a cure. Two, the Hacketts are all humans, and very distrusting of other beings and magic. Fear of the unknown and all that. They've loosened up a bit on their feelings surrounding magic because Chris was magically gifted from a young age, though nobody knows why. Chris has spent a lot of his time honing his skills, learning, and understanding how his magic works. He's always wanted to help and to teach people, hence why he started the summer camp. That's his project, and the rest of his family doesn't really get involved. With the exception of his kids, of course. The whole story of how the Hackett family fell under the curse is essentially the same. Kaylee and Caleb tried to “rescue” Silas and got infected in the process. The fire still happened, all of that is the same.

I haven't decided what happens that keeps the counselors stuck at camp during the night of the full moon. (But I will update once I’ve figured that out)

Also, there are definitely some gay shenanigans with Ryan and Dylan because, of course there are. I'm currently trying to figure out an equivalent to the radio hut scene.

Anyway, this is what I have so far. I will be posting art for this soon. Thanks for reading.

[rowanyx]

So in the Adventuring Party, Brennan asked Beardsley whether there is a world in which Kristen gives up being a Cleric.

Mechanics-wise, I understand why the response was a no. That kind of big change would have a lot of restructuring to do, from the character sheet to minis to even plot changes, which would be difficult mid-season like this. (See Riz's sub-class change from Inquisitor to Arcane Trickster happening now, rather than when we actually met Pok)

Story-wise, though, I respectfully disagree. In fact, I posit there is many a world in which Kristen could change her class.

The big one, I think, would be Paladin. Especially either Redemption or Oathbreaker. After all, you could easily argue that this whole situation (i.e. Cassandra seeing Kristen not putting her priesthood first, dying, and the new mysterious voice that taunted the party with the rotting corpse of the god Kristen already failed) cumulates into exactly the type of description for an Oathbreaker (going back on their word and then joining up with some evil entity instead). And, well, after two gods dying, one you've very much stated to want to be good for but can't get yourself to do so, sounds very much like the type of person that would seek Redemption. If not for themselves, at least for others.

And this could also work to show sort of backslide into the Applebee's family drama. After all, we know Bucky just started as a Paladin himself. He's probably not high enough leveled to have a sub-class of his own, but doesn't Redemption fit? The kid who was forced into Kristen's old role, who is already going around trying to save his classmates from Hell? If Kristen did switch to Paladin, they would most likely share classes (something like Gorgug's Artificier track, school-wise). A perfect opportunity to flesh out the relationship there, either to save Bucky from Mac and Donna or have him 'save' Kristen.

Of course, these are just two of the easier paths to see.

Porter did want another Bad Kid in his classes, didn't he?

Maybe Kristen finds she desires a guide and becomes a Totem Warrior Barbarian.

Maybe Kristen decides that just because her parents suck, doesn't mean the whole bloodline did. This causes her to delve into old records and come out of it as a Path of the Ancestral Guardian Barbarian.

Another idea, given the Buff Kristen movement, is a Fighter. Especially the training and power describing a Champion or the fighting spirit of a Samurai, to lose so many gods and keep going.

Or maybe she finds the issue is the evangelizing. That she cannot dedicate herself to bringing others into her path, but still desiring a higher being to help her. There are many to make a Warlock Contract with. She's even living with one, technically, by way of Fig's Archdevil job.

You could even argue for an Eloquence Bard, with all the speeches and now the Presidency campaign.

Or hey, Cassandra was a moon goddess, wasn't she? Maybe even a Lunar Sorcerer.

Unlikely but theoretically possible, she's just desperate to fix something and takes up Artificing. After all, how different can a Battle Smith really be? It's still healing and protecting, right?

Or, let's revisit an old topic. At the top of the game, Kristen was called the Chosen One. We saw that title following her even after leaving Helio. Sol treated her kindly for it, she invented YES! and even reinvented it into YES?. An argument can even be made that that's part of why Cassandra was fixed so easily after clinging to her. But what is that? Where is that power from? Perhaps some new magic awakens in Kristen. That of a Divine Soul Sorcerer.

Just, Kristen, taking a hard look at religion and Clericdom and deciding maybe it wasn't right for her.

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Junior Year Ep 6

Post Shrimp Jump Conspiracy Board Special

Hey y’all! Welcome back to Seacaster Manor where the shrimp party is still raging and the Bad Kids are balancing being cooler than ever with some serious sleuthing. We get a lot of new information this episode so I wanted to try out a new format for this week. I often talk in a metaphorical way about putting items up on a Conspiracy Board but I want to actually try that now that we’re a little over a quarter of the way in and have multiple overarching things happening. This is going to be a lot less linear than usual but bear with me. Gotta shake things up a little so I don’t get burnt out! There’s still fourteen more episodes to go! 

The Rat Grinders

The Bad Kids’ de facto rival party got a lot of screen time in this episode, which makes sense: Adaine declared the party their nemeses over Goldenhoard or anyone else they’ve fought, which is saying a lot. Before this point, we knew the following facts about them:

1) They got their name because the only enemies they’re recorded as killing are low level ones (including rats) that they grind in the woods behind the school, showing a willingness to follow the letter but not spirit of the rules but also an impressive amount of dedication. 

2) Their leader seems to be rogue, Kipperlily Copperkettle who is type A as hell and has a LOT of free time to kill having found the rogue professor (or at least having the rogue professor find her). She’s running for class president on a platform based around “fairness” which is a theme that’s come up more than once this season. 

3) Also on the team are emo Bard Reuben (who seems to be related to the new Artificing teacher and who shares an agent with Fig) and nonplussed Barbarian Mary Ann (who is buffing herself magically somehow).

4) Kipperlily specifically asked about where Kristen was able to create a new god. Now how, where. An odd question. 

This episode, we learned a lot more, so let's throw them on the board and make some connections!

5) The Rat Grinders have a new cleric named Buddy Dawn (something Kristen’s brother mentioned two episodes ago). He’s from Highcourt and moved with his grandparents. He’s got super Mormon+Southern “Bless Your Heart” energy and Kristen doesn’t like how familiar it feels. His vibes are clocked as well meaning but kinda judgey. 

6) Buddy Dawn was *specifically requested* by the party. Of course, requesting a cleric isn’t weird–why wouldn’t you want one? And Helioism seems a pretty common religion in the region so odds are good that if you get a cleric is would be a Helioic one. But, paired with KP’s question about Kristen, it makes you wonder if the plan is to recruit a Kristen expy and try to get lightning to strike twice.  

7) At the beer pong table, we meet the RG’s archer who is an elf named Ivy Embra. She’s got some flirty, catty energy (which we see when she interacts with Fabian and Mazey respectively).

8) We also meet the party wizard, Oisin Hakinvar, who is a Conjuration specialist with a focus in summoning. He’s a blue dragonborn which means that he has a great great great (etc) blue dragon ancestor he can ping when he needs barrels of diamonds, no problem. He has so many in fact that when Adaine lies badly that she’s also swimming in diamonds, he kindly offers to let her borrow some of his “extras”. But she turns them down, calls him great, and then panics and runs away to commiserate with Fabian who is also panicking about a flirty moment with Ivy. Oisin, for his part, seems driven to distraction and can’t make a single other shot all night. Cute! But–

9) As much as I want to wholeheartedly love Oisin (and honestly do and will until I am given direct evidence to change my mind) I have to point out that KVX, known evil bank, did change its logo from red (Goldenhoard’s color) to blue (Oisin’s Ancestor’s color) and there is a shot in the trailer of the party fighting a blue dragon. Connected? Maybe.

10) From investigating some yearbooks, the party also learns that the Rat Grinders have existed since Freshman Year but, at the time, they were called the High Five Heroes. They all look a lot more smiley and a lot less intense–Rebuen’s not even emo. It was the lineup from above, minus Buddy and plus a frost Genasi cleric named Lucy Frostblade. They learn that she supposedly died in their Sophomore year but specifically during a period near the end of the year where grades are locked and it wouldn’t affect their party comp which is…convenient. 

11) Fig tries to investigate this by disguising herself as Lucy and seeing how Ivy and Oisin react. Only Ivy sees her but she doesn’t seem shocked at all to see her allegedly dead party member She just raises an eyebrow and ditches the game to talk to her. Fig bails (and rolls only a 12 to stealth away) so we don’t get any extra info but just the fact that Ivy reacted that way is pretty juicy info as is.  

12) The other Rat Grinders don’t seem to be at the party but the members are skeptical about that. On the other hand, when Ivy leaves, it’s because Oisin pulls her aside and says, “Kipperlilly’s calling”. So it’s possible there was a Team A and a Team B for whatever the Rat Grinders were doing that night?

13) And speaking of what they're doing, we do have a theory. When Fabian checks some damage in the basement where Max and some other kids were smoking "gorgenfern" he sees that something called a cloud rider engine was smashed up pretty bad and in a suspicious way–gorgenfern doesn’t make you rowdy. Fabian checks the security tapes he obviously has and sees that some ice mephits came in and riled people up to the point of crashing into the engine. Adaine conjured some earlier in the party and as far as her arcana check can tell, they’re here, but there’s suspicion that Oisin–a conjuration wizard–could have done it. It’s certainly within his skillset. A cloud rider engine allows a vehicle to fly on clouds and it’s not clear if it was simply smashed or if something was stolen from it. 

14) Max isn’t a Rat Grinder but he did ask them all if they wanted to smoke with him and Ivy offered Fabian snuff so Riz is suspicious that the RG’s are trying to get them kicked out of school for drug use now that they have a non-Aguefort principal who presumably cares about silly rules like that at the murder school. 

That’s basically what we know about the Rat Grinders! So, to sum it up, I’d say the conspiracy board bullet points are:

Supposedly dead cleric Lucy Frostblade: What actually happened to her and why isn’t Ivy surprised to see “her”?

New cleric Buddy Dawn: Why was he specifically requested? 

The High Five Heroes: What caused them to turn into the Rat Grinders? And, as they seem like they were more gung ho their first year, why did they never pivot to fighting things other than low level monsters?

Do they actually have beef with the Bad Kids specifically or are their vibes just terrible? Were they trying to sabotage them by offering drugs? Did they break the engine on purpose and, if so, why?

Oisin: Is he chill or is he working an angle? That question technically goes to Ivy as well but I’m almost certain she’s fully working an angle, lol. I’m getting straight up Aelwyn vibes from her.

Class President: What is KP’s angle re: running for class president? This seems like something she’d want to do either way with her personality but her policy of fairness dovetails too neatly with Grix’s appearance and Cassandra’s inability to say the phrase, “It’s not fair,” last episode.

How did KP find the rogue professor and is that relevant?

And finally, why did KP want to know about where Kristen created her Freshman year god? Well, that question may be partially answered in our next section. 

God Stuff

There is a lot going on this season with celestial shenanigans between Cassandra and Galicaea and even Yes! So let’s mark out what we know.

1) Cassandra was possessed by some kind of rage entity via crystal shards that were expelled from her body. Her status is kind of up in the air right now as the party was shunted away to safety by Connor Counterspell (RIP) and all Kristen has left of Cass are some glowing, purple shards. 

2) Earlier in the fight, while lucid, Cassandra said, “I thought you were dead” about some unseen entity. Later, Kristen heard from a creepy voice that said, “She is at my side once more”. It then threatened her and slid out the rotting corpse of Yes! as a sick joke. Likely that these are the same person or at least connected. 

3) Gorgug identified that the rage stars are similar to what’s going on with Ragh’s mom, Lydia so it was put on the docket to get in touch with her about that–especially because Kalina specifically told them to track down Ragh with her last lucid words. 

4) Tracker’s Galicaea rebrand is going really well. Her social media is really popping and the endless night probably didn’t hurt. 

5) Kristen on the other hand, hasn’t been doing so hot. Due to a bunch of negligence based in lack of time management and personal uncertainty, she hasn’t been evangelizing much which means only she and Craig stand between Cass and her permanent destruction. 

6) Kristen can’t contact Cass telepathically and says she can’t use her magic which is Not Great if you're as danger prone as the Bad Kids. 

Alright, that’s all the old business so let’s move to the new business. 

7) When Kristen talked to her parents, we learned that Helio doesn’t have a chosen one since she left but we learn that it’s more serious than that. Helio also can’t choose a new chosen one. He only gets one. With Kristen gone, the whole religion is without a chosen one.

8) At a certain point, Tracker finally gets a hold of Kristen and says some harsh but true things about Kristen but, more relevant to the conspiracy board, she talks about her girlfriend Nara and Adaine, as a fellow high elf, clocks her as coming from a family of moon goddess clerics in Falinel. That raises the question: is this run of the mill teenage rebellion a la the theme song, or is she some kind of plant? We’ll hopefully get some more info from Aelwyn since Adaine texted her about it.

9) The real juicy stuff happens when we talk to Ragh’s mom. The fiend in Lydia's gem is called Bakur. Her having him in there doesn't make her rage--she's raging to keep him trapped but that's it. Her personality is the same. 

10) Bakur was a pit fiend and the right hand guy of a dead god whose name we don't know (hmm, another dead and nameless god). Bakur can't even say the god's name. It's like, weird god rules and Lydia explains in a weird vague way: gods not being able to use loopholes and saying names being powerful and rules changing for non-mortals when gods die.

11) The one very concrete info we get is that a god can only come back in a place where they were born or created. The reason Bakur’s plan failed is that he tried to bring back the nameless god in the Red Waste and not where they were created. 

12) Rana (Lydia’s party cleric) is away and Cormyr (the party sorcerer) is dead but Lydia offers to put the party in touch with Rana and Cormyr’s family because they have more stuff related to this and they were the ones who knew more about this than her. 

Following? Good. So let’s distill this down to bullets again:

Holy Helio. The corn god doesn’t have a chosen one anymore because Kristen up and left. What does that mean in a concrete sense? What can a chosen one do that a normal cleric can’t? Is Helio gonna ask Kristen to do anything this season now that we know that this is a special position that only one person can fill? Is it until she dies (or at least dies for real)? Would a fanatical Helioic person try and kill Kristen to open up that slot?

KP specifically asking WHERE Cassandra was created seems clearly tied to the info Lydia gave about only being able to resurrect a god where it was created. But what does that mean exactly? Is she trying to resurrect the same god as Bakur? Did she just assume that wherever Kristen made her god is probably where most gods are made and, thus, her best bet? What’s her angle? Is this an evil plan for just a “this will get me a good grade” plan?

Where in the world is Cassandra right now? She is MIA right now which means Kristen’s powers are too. Though I wonder if she can draw on those shards to cast spells.

We obviously can’t be sure but it seems like the voice Kristen heard and the person that Cass thought was dead is likely that unnamed god. What’s his deal? I’m sure we’ll have more info for this bullet soon. 

Is Tracker’s new girlfriend Nara, much like Ecaf, a turncoat? 

With Helio, Cass, and Galicaea all being in the mix, is there any kind of family angle being played. It doesn’t come up a ton but they are very much related. 

MISC

This is a section for a few points that don’t yet fit under the main two headings of the season but still need to go up on the board. 

Why would Aguefort program a robot that acts like Grix? Is he supposed to be like or is he hacked? If he is hacked, who would be able to do that? The new artificing teacher? The old one?

We learn that Aguefort has made a lot of contradicting proclamations and all of them are canon, so you’re able to pick and choose what you want to cite (I feel like I’m in law school again). Lots of room for loopholes which could be useful later. 

Adaine, while very drunk, had an oracle vision of Kristen at a birthday party, giving a victory speech to a bunch of teens on election night as a crescent moon hangs in the sky. The Crescent moon potentially gives them a time frame if they look into it (and it specifically being mentioned makes me think of Galicaea even though not every moon thing has to be connected to her). And we know Gorgug’s birthday is near the Frosty Folk festival so maybe that’s why the hats.

Speaking of, we know there’s a connection between Riz’s mom defending someone for money crimes re: that Festival and Gorgug’s parents hosting it so that’s something to remember. 

This isn’t something for the pin board per se but this season introduces a stress token system for downtime! I’m sure I’ll talk about it more when we use it for the first time next ep but, for now, gotta say he’s really ramping up the pressure on our kids! And, to that point, let’s do a quick check in with everyone and see what they’re up against!

Character Board

Adaine

-Adaine is still facing major money troubles. After last episode, not only is her job terminated, but she actually owes 2.5 gold for her uniform. 

-It looks like she might be developing a bit of a crush on the cute dragonborn (yay) but he’s a Rat Grinder (nooooo). I will say though, cross party romance could be a lot of fun and also my favorite NPC in this show is Aelwyn whose top 2 traits are famously Criminal and Loves Adaine so I am honestly fine with this either way lol. 

-Speaking of Aelwyn, I’ll put the sister stuff together: When Adaine calls her to ask for dirt on Nara she says, “Working, will call in five.” And when Adaine questions the fact that it's 5am on a Saturday, Adaine just gets a winky face emoji back. Suspicious! 

Fabian

-Fabian has to juggle the new 150% course load (bard/fighter) as well as his new party house reputation.

-He has a lack of adult supervision which also means a lack of adult care and it seems to be affecting him more than he’s willing to let on. 

-But honestly his biggest obstacle is probably himself right now, lol. He made himself a new nemesis in Gertie Bladshield and I am not confident he can handle this honey trap mission with Ivy without the tables being turned on him. 

Riz

-Riz is also facing money troubles, but for him that’s kind of business as usual unfortunately.

-He has a TON of extracurriculars to keep track of but he so far seems to be handling it pretty well and is picking up some interesting allies (that double as votes for Kristen’s campaign–campaign manager is also an extracurricular he’s taken up): the aforementioned Gertie Bladeshield (Apiary Club), Sprak LeFevre (Aviation Club), and Molman Holden (Soil Club). Always good to have new allies and Aviation Club seems like it could be really useful later! I can see him making some luck checks to successfully say, “I know a guy” in a tight spot based on how many clubs he’s joined. 

-He also has the Reliable Talent ability now which means he’s incapable of rolling lower than a 21 on things he’s proficient in which includes Investigation. We’re about to be getting some INSANE lore dumps. 

Gorgug

-Gorgug has his insane 400% courseload happening and I didn’t notice this until it was pointed out to me but Zac actually leveled Gorgug DOWN in Barbarian to take an extra level of Artificer! That’s commitment. But I can’t imagine Porter, who already has a problem with him, is gonna like that. 

Fig

-Fig would hate it if I didn’t start this list by saying that she hella misses Ayda and that’s her biggest problem. 

-But she also has her album to worry about and we actually get the bombshell during a conversation with Mazey that she’s not even sure that she still wants to be a bard.

-On top of that, she’s taking Barb and Warlock classes along with the Bard classes she’s finally going to. 

-She has her gnarly Gilear curse happening that’s seemingly connected to whoever the boss who owns the pride armor is. 

-She has beef with Rebuen and is living her double life as Wanda Childa to try and learn whatever she can about him/the Rat Grinders. 

-Both she and Wanda are wanted by the Solace FBI.  

-On a positive note, she really endeared herself to Mazey by sweetly sticking up for her when Ivy was being catty. If Fig wasn’t so devoted to Ayda I could have read their interaction at the end of the ep as flirty. Regardless, nice moment and great ally. 

Kristen

-Welp, her god is, if not dead, MIA which is arguably the biggest deal of anything on any of these lists, especially since it’s tied to her magic AND her grade. 

-Next of course is the potato to her meat on her plate: her campaign. But that’s actually going really well, especially after this party. Her biggest issue is whether or not she can get Fetty Wap to homecoming and, lbr, in a pinch Fig can just disguise herself as him. When has that ever not worked?

-She also has this unnamed god (or whoever it is) taunting her and threatening her specifically which isn’t ideal. 

-But I honestly think she was more fucked up by the conversation which Tracker where her ex basically outlined everything she needs to get together in her life and then posted a pre-written pic with her new girlfriend. That’s gotta sting. 

And that’s it! I wanted to focus on the specific nuggets of info we got this episode and start to connect them with what we knew so far. Different format, I know, but I’m feeling experimental this season and I might switch it up a few more times as Junior Year goes on. I love covering Fantasy High but, like I said at the top, I have to keep it fresh so I don’t burn out. See you next time when Brennan makes the stress we’re all feeling an actual game mechanic! Fun!