#which is how she gets to work there on sensitive stuff in the first place

[beingwhatwecan]

A further word on Tosh's name based on this, because I realised that some people might not know this.

'Ko' in Toshiko is 子 in 敏子. It literally means 'child', but people rarely think about it that way. It's a common ending to a female name. Japanese royal family are especially dedicated to this; almost all the women have had names ending with 'ko' for centuries.

For modern commoners (sorry my first language isn't English and I don't know if this word comes off as offensive I googled translated it), 'ko'-ending names were very popular from 1920s to 1970s. It's supposed to have a distinct Showa-era-ness to it. Tosh, according to some fan wiki, was born in 1975, so she barely caught the end of that phase.

The surname, Sato, or Satou, or Satō. 佐藤. Romanising is a nightmare. Too common to ring a bell for anyone, I think, like Smith. But not everyone could tell you what went on prehistorically with 敏 having to do with women handling tools, so I'll discuss it anyway.

佐 in characters (I mostly look at oracles or seal scripts or stuff then when I talk about this, and it's Chinese not Japanese then) is 'human/people' (亻) and 'left' (左), as in directions, 'left'. Back in those days, left was inferior to right. I think there were similar things in Western culture about that, all the sinister/gauche vs dexter thing. Anyway, because left was inferior, 佐 meant to assist, to aid. In Japanese this bit was kept, and carried to names of military ranks.

藤 means vines, as in the plant. The top, 艹, is a common sign for something to be related to plants, in Chinese, as in most cases of Japanese kanji. Which is not to be confused with Japanese katakana, サ, or 'sa' (equivalent hiragana: さ). But in the case of the surname Sato, it has nothing to do with plants, but the name 藤原, or Fujiwara clan. I'm not very educated about this bit of history, so google it if you want to. The idea is that they gave rise to many surnames containing 'To', such as Ito or Kato. 'Sato' is to aid them.

Last I heard, Japanese people named kids with pronunciations that sounded nice and then chose kanji to work with it that looked nice. Basically. So it's very likely that none of this mean anything at all. But yeah, I'm that person.

佐藤敏子 (no spaces between when you write proper Japanese, but there are adaptations, and don't ask me how they know which is which, they do) is a very common name still. You could look it up and find many women bearing that name living their lives.

I write about this because 'a name you choose is like a promise you keep'. Because the first person in the show that calls her 'Toshiko' in everyday conversation is Mary, and I think that mattered. Because I think about her running translation programmes for alien languages, being bilingual herself.

The thing about kanji is that it tells you what it means, not how it sounds, in contrary to kana. Or your average Western phonetic language. If is has kanji, and you don't look at it, then you lose part of what it is. That's why I keep saying it's a different name. Toshiko is a different name without the 'Tosh' shortening.

Which is fine. You could use different names. It works as compartmentalisation for many. As long as you know it's not the same name.

(To clarify. I said in my last post that the 每 bit, signaled the pronunciation of 敏. Only true in Chinese. Chinese has many words that have parts indicating meaning, and parts indicating pronunciation. 敏 is pronounced 'mǐn' in Mandarin. I haven't researched on this to know how exactly it works, but 母 (mother) also starts with 'm' and it might have propagated to 每 (every) which also starts in 'm'. But I'm conjecturing and I don't know. Not pronounced remotely similarly in Japanese, as we now all know.)

[pencil-n-pen]

REDUCED TO SKIN AND BONE

. ݁₊ ♡ . ݁˖

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buck x people pleaser! fem! reader

masterlist | kofi

summary: Pathological People Pleaser- capital P. That’s you. Life is a helluva lot easier when no one can hurt you- not if you never give anyone substantial pieces of yourself. Too bad Evan “Buck” Buckley takes issue with this.

cw: reader is a grade A pathological people pleaser so all the angst and issues that come with that, canon-typical gore/violence (they are firefighters/paramedics)

tags/tropes: coworkers to lovers (hr HATES these two) bobby knowing everything about these two but letting them work it out anyway, team as a family, BUCK IS BOBBY’S KID IDC WHAT ANYONE SAYS, also Buck being really sweet and nice (and reader having no idea what to do with this)

a/n: tbh this reader is really just a girl. this fic is extremely inspired by Love Theoretically by Ali Hazelwood, which, my dear followers, if you'll recall, is my favorite romance book ever (!!!!!) also no one say reader isn't realistic bc i based her internal dialogue and worries off of my real life experiences as a recovered people pleaser (there is hope for us)

credit to @bookshelf-dust for the in house arson investigator idea !! super brilliant and perfect !! go read their stuff !!

title taken from Goddess from Laufey!

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‘Who could ever leave me darling, but who could stay?

Cause they see right through me//Can you see right through me?

-The Archer, Taylor Swift

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₊˚⊹♡

Firefighter Evan “Buck” Buckley confuses you.

You’ve only been with the 118 for about two months. You’d be lying if you said the action and excitement of actually working with the firefighters on calls didn’t excite you to come to work— something you thought you’d never say.

And the team is great. You were nervous as hell at first. Suddenly being out on calls is exciting now, but scary as shit at first. You were much too used to your boring desk job. Plus, the firefighters were all intimidating in their own ways- Hen and Bobby the most.

Hen, because you totally look up to her and admire her ability to just… do whatever and say whatever and not worry what other people think. She holds her head high, and you’re more than a little envious.

Bobby, because he’s your captain, and you need to prove your worth as an addition to the team.

Slowly but surely, you began to solidify your presence as a team member. You aren’t sensitive to the blood and gore they see on calls which definitely won you points with Hen and Chimney, and you aren’t a pushover- you’re willing to put your foot down when push comes to shove. Plus, not to brag, but you’re damn good at your job.

After a month, you’d gotten everything down pat. What’s the right thing to say, what isn’t the right thing to say. What to do so the team trusts you, what to do so they don’t ask too many questions, how to correctly come across to them as a capable person. How to seem normal and well-adjusted and fine. What normal looks like to them.

With the exception of Evan Buckley.

You just… can’t get a read on him. Ever. He’s nice and smart and funny (and ridiculously attractive, like seriously, it’s not even fair) but no one is that nice and smart and funny (and ridiculously attractive.)

You don’t like talking to him because he’s been more than a little sweet on you since day one. And obviously it's not serious and he doesn't mean it, just friendly camaraderie, but. But but but but but. It catches you off guard without fail every single time. Because every single time you talk to him, you get the very distinct sense that he’s looking right though you. That when you’re talking to the rest of the team, perfect smile in place, he can see through you.

It’s more than a little unnerving. It leaves you unsteady and wrong-footed. Like you’re never sure what exactly to say or how to act.

So you mostly just avoid him. You’re thankful that you’re only the arson investigator, because if you’d actually been a real firefighter, avoiding him would be a million times harder. As it stands, it’s fairly easy to do it without being obvious.

Or so you think.

“Is something wrong Captain Nash?” You ask, shutting the door behind you in his office.

Bobby rolls his eyes. “I’ve told you to just call me Bobby.”

“I think the second I do, my parents will appear in the room and lecture me about respect and manners.”

You sit as he gestures, watching with almost perfectly concealed apprehension as he laces his fingers.

“Did Buck say something to you?”

What.

“What?”

“Firefighter Buckley,” Bobby clarifies, as if that was the part of the question that needed specification. “I’ve noticed that you tend to avoid him when possible. You’re good at it, I’ll give you that. No one else has noticed.”

Heat rushes to your cheeks at the admission of being caught.

“How could you tell?” You ask instead of answering his question.

Bobby just shrugs. “I have three kids. This isn’t my first rodeo. Now, you mind telling me what exactly is going on here?”

You’re not really sure you can explain this to him without one, sounding like a crazy person, and two, having him lose all the respect you’ve worked hard to build with him.

You settle for the super abridged version.

“Buck… makes me nervous. I’ve had some bad experiences with men that acted like him before, so. I’m over it, of course, I’m fine he just… sets me on edge a little. I’m not like, afraid of him or anything.”

You are actually afraid of him a little. Because if he really does see through you then what’s stopping him from ripping the current back? Giving everyone a good look into your ugly and raw? What’s stopping him from leaving you exposed?

Bobby hums, contemplating.

“You don’t trust him.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” You rush to amend, heart starting to race. Fix it fix it fix it fix it— “I do trust him. I know he’d never hurt me, or anyone else for that matter, he’s a great guy—“

Bobby leans back in his seat. “He’s a genuinely nice guy, and you don’t know how to deal with that, so you avoid him. You don’t trust that he’s genuine.”

Too close too close too close too close—

Smile. Laugh. Look down for a few seconds. Raise head, hold eye-contact. Speak.

“Nothing like that,” Smile. “Just takes some time for a girl to get used to all the facts that tend to come with him. I could’ve done without the one about heart worms before lunch.”

Laugh.

“Oh, you have no idea. Imagine being present when he actually got to assist on a tapeworm removal. I was put off noodles entirely for months.”

Now Bobby laughs, a real one, so you laugh with him, and you feel a little safer, the conversation back in your control.

“I promise, there’s nothing between me and Buck. Just new-girl nerves.”

Flash a smile, appease the man.

“If that’s all, then you’re free to go. Keep up the good work.”

You stand, one hand on the edge of the armrest of the chair to hide the minute tremors in your hand. You hold your breath as you leave Bobby’s office, breathing tiny, quick breaths through your nose until you make it to the safety of your office, closing the door behind you and all but collapsing into your chair.

That was… close. You must’ve let your guard down around Bobby. His personality and dad-aura are so disarming. You hadn’t even realized he’d been watching you that close. He read you a little too easily and a little too quickly. That was too close. What if he had—

A knock on your door snaps you ramrod straight, posture perfect and easy expression snapped into place in seconds.

It takes everything in you not to deflate when you see who walks through the door.

“Buck?”

“Sorry, sorry,” He raises his hands in mock surrender, “I know you don’t like me in here, I’ll be quick. I just need that file from that warehouse fire case?”

You frown as you search your filing cabinet for the case file. “I’ve never said I didn’t like you in here.”

“Yeah, not as much as said as implied.”

“I don’t mind you in here. It’s just an office.”

You’re not sure what he wants you to say. Does he want you to agree with him, tell him you don’t want him in here, make him right? Does he want you to tell him that he’s welcome in your office?

What does he want?

He shrugs in the corner of your eye, hands in his pockets, and you honestly have to physically restrain yourself from staring at the muscles of his arms as they move and tense with the motion. It’s very conflicting: him being the unending source of the late-night fantasies you pretend not to indulge in to fall asleep, hugging a pillow, and the fact that he’s the reason you’ve considered going on anxiety medication.

“…Are you okay?”

You’re abruptly reminded that he’s still in your office and you’re still having a conversation and your grip has at some point turned crushing on the case file.

“Oh, yeah,” Smile, look down, laugh. Look up(?) “Long night last night. Didn’t get much sleep.”

He cocks his head, the action reminiscent of a dog. He really is a golden retriever. You should really stop thinking about Buck so much.

“I thought you went home early last night?”

Your smile wavers.

Laugh(?) put the case file down. Take a sip of coffee, smile(?)

“You know how it is. Work never quite ends at work.”

He doesn’t skip a beat before speaking.

“Why do you do that?”

Something cold starts to drip down your neck. An icy chill of dread.

“Do what?”

“That lying thing.”

Smile? Laugh? Sit down?

Your other hand comes up to cup your coffee. “As far as I know, I don’t have a lying thing.” You huff a breathy laugh, but it comes out wrong. More wheezing and choked than a laugh.

He leans back against the wall of your office, crossing his arms. “Yeah you do. Like, sure, maybe you did have a late night, but none of those expressions or smiles were real. You like, lie with your face.”

You feel cold and hot at the same time. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Do you want this case file?”

“No, you know what I’m talking about. Is it conscious? Is it like code-switching? Nah, this is too—“

“Buck!” You snap, skin crawling, “Would you please just take this file and go?”

He snaps his fingers, pointing at you. “There! That’s real. That was a real expression.”

You forcibly smooth your face out, trying to project the calm you don’t feel. “Me getting annoyed with you?”

“Yeah,” He chuckles a little, a small smile on his face. “Just for a second, you looked real.”

You blink. Pause. Turn his words over in your head.

“You don’t really need this case file, do you?”

“Nope.”

You set the mug down, ignoring the way your tremors increased at your little outburst. “So you just came to what? Get under my skin? Disturb me while I’m working?”

He taps a boot on the floor. “Kind of. It’s my turn to be the man behind, and this beats mopping.”

This time, the flat glare you send him is intentional. “You really know how to make a girl feel special.”

“I don’t know. You don’t seem as rigid as you did a few minutes ago.”

You stiffen your posture on instinct. “It’s called posture.”

“That’s not posture. That’s fear.”

His tone is light and joking, but his words hit their mark. Or maybe there isn’t a mark, and he just stabs your metaphorical bullseye anyway.

You shuffle in place, skin prickling under his gaze. “Is there a reason we’re having this conversation?”

“Is there a reason we shouldn’t?”

You stare at your shoes, face hot. This is uncharted territory. The end-all-be-all of terrible conversations.

“Well for one, it’s terribly awkward, and two, I don’t see why you felt the need to call me a liar to my face.”

Buck pushes off the wall. “Okay, that’s not what I meant by that—“

“No, I think you meant what you said.”

He sighs. “Can we start over?”

“Why?”

“Because I feel like you have this misconception about me, and it would really suck if a pretty girl didn’t like me just because we got off on the wrong foot.”

PRETTY?

“You think I’m pretty?”

You slap a hand over your mouth. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.”

He smirks, a mischievous thing pulling at his lips. “No, I think you meant what you said.” He says, mimicking your earlier words.

You press your hands into your face, exhaling hard.

“Well, if your goal was to make me uncomfortable, you’ve definitely succeeded.”

“Aw, that’s no good. That’s the opposite of what I wanted.”

The gears in your brain turn.

“You came here… because you wanted me to be more comfortable around you?”

He snaps his fingers. “Ding ding ding!”

You frown. “So your plan to make me more comfortable around you was to call me a liar and purposefully get under my skin?”

Your words hang in silence for a moment.

“Well when you put it like that—“

“Is there another way to put it?”

“The plan was to get you to see that nothing bad is gonna happen if you stop doing that face-lying-thing. I mean, you haven’t been doing it for the duration of this conversation and the world hasn’t ended, right?”

You look away. “That’s because I can’t pretend with you. It always falls apart. You freak me out.”

His brows furrow. “I freak you out?”

“Yes!” You snap whipping your head back to face him, “Other people put out, like, signals, you know. What kind of people they like and dislike, and I pick up on them, and avoid the parts they don’t like and play up the parts they do like. But you don’t put out anything! I don’t know what you want.”

Buck is silent for several moments. It’s unnerving.

“Have you ever considered that maybe I just like you?”

You blink. Look away. Cross your arms.

“You know,” He continues, voice a little softer, “I have a habit of liking people just as they are. Bobby tells me it’s one of my better qualities.”

“Is planning difficult conversations one of your lesser qualities?”

“You’re not going to let that go, are you?”

“No.”

It’s easier to focus and talk about the less serious parts of this entire situation than even think about what he just said.

“How about this,” He says after you don’t speak again. “If you’re gonna fake something, or pretend you feel one way about something, you have to come tell me the truth about how you really feel.”

“Well that sounds terrible. What do you get out of it?”

He smiles, folding his hands behind his back. “You agree to let me take you on a date.”

Your face is practically on fire. Evan Buckley is asking you on a date. Buck is asking you on a date.

“Oh.”

That’s all you manage to get out. Oh.

He frowns. “Are you oka—“

You smash your face into your hands, hiding your flushed and flustered face from view. “Just— just give me a second.”

You attempt to slow your racing heart, all to aware of the fact that Buck is still in the room, still looking at you.

“…Can you turn around?”

You hear a quiet little huff, then the shuffling of footsteps, signifying he is in fact no longer looking at you.

“If I’d known you’d be this excited at the idea—“

“Shut up or I’ll say no.”

He just hums, voice teasing. “I don’t think you will.”

“I might.”

“Mm. Nope.”

“I could.”

“You won’t.”

“I won’t,” You grumble, dropping your hands. “Okay fine, I’ll do it, but when I tell you… stuff, you don’t get to make fun of me for whatever it is.”

“I really think you have the wrong idea of who I am as a person.”

“I’ve seen how you make fun of Eddie.”

“Well, that’s Eddie. It’s like, bro code.”

“Ew.”

“Having friends is gross?”

“Yes. Get out of my office.”

He turns around, grabbing his chest, feigning pain. “Oh the hurt. The pain.”

“You’ll survive, I’m sure. You’re a big boy.”

Okay what the fuck are you saying right now. Can’t god just strike you down? Can’t some old water damage cause the ceiling to come down on you?

Buck takes it in stride, laughing loudly, though if you look close, you can see a pink tinge to his cheeks.

“So when are you free for our date?”

He waggles his eyebrows suggestively over the word date, and you despise the flush it brings to your face. And ears. And neck.

“Um. Saturday?”

“Cool. You have my number, right?”

You nod.

“I’ll text you the details later this week. And hey, look at me.”

He waits until you look up. “You aren’t allowed to spend the rest of this week stressing about it, okay? It’s gonna be fun, and nice."

He opens the door to your office, ducking half out before turning around. “Remember: fun and nice.”

And then he’s gone. Then you’re just an idiot standing in your office, face hot and tingling.

He called you pretty.

—

Buck's request is difficult to follow through on. Like, sure, you agreed to it, but you still don't really understand why he wants to know this. The things that go on in your head that you don't tell anyone about. He said he got a date out of (a date, you're going on a date with Evan Buckley--) but is that really... anything?

Is it a real date? Or just some little fling? And why, exactly, is the date something he considers a fair trade? Like sure, he's hot -incredibly so- and every time you think about the date your heart speeds up and million questions run through your head, like will he pick you up, is he the type to bring flowers, where are you going for the date, all of those things.

You wince from your spot on the couch upstairs, papers strewn across the table in front of you.

"Dammit," You mutter, holding a finger up to the lip that you've chewed to shreds, now bleeding steadily, blood beginning to trickle down your chin.

A napkin appears in your line of sight, and you take it from Hen gratefully.

"Thanks."

She just nods. "Something on your mind?"

You blink, a little questioning.

"Your lip," She gestures to it. "You always chew it when you're thinking about something troubling. Is this about that new case?"

"Ah," You breathe, a small shiver running down your spine at her words. Being perceived is weird. "No actually. It's..."

You decide to be honest. News will get out anyway, and Hen appreciates truthfullness. "It's about Buck."

She raises an eyebrow. "Oh?"

You shuffle the papers in front of you, hands itching for something to do, "We're going on a date on Saturday."

"Oh!" She exclaims, settling on the couch across from you. "That's... surprising. I was under the impression you didn't really care for him."

Your face heats. "That's kind of why we're going on the date. He wants to... make me more comfortable. Those were his words."

"Interesting method."

You shrug. "It's Buck."

Hen nods, a chuckle escaping her lips. "I'm guessing you're not so sure about it?"

"It's not that. I just," you debate your next words carefully, weighing the options, wondering if you should even say them, but Hen's face is open and non-judgmental, and she knows when not to gossip.

"I haven't been on a date in awhile," You admit, "Or many at all, really. I don't know what to expect."

Your hands still on the papers. "I... don't do well when I don't know what to expect."

Hen nods. "I get it. But I can tell you with absolute certainty that Buck will do everything in his power to make the date as 'comfortable'," She does finger quotes around the word, "As possible. It took him a couple tries to get here, but. He's got a good heart."

You can't help the small frown at her words. "I know."

Hen tilts her head, squinting. "Do you? Cause it seems like you aren't so sure."

Smile. Laugh.

"Well," You laugh a small, breathy thing. "In my experience, no one is that nice."

Hen snorts. "Okay, true. But Buck's been through a lot. What he may lack in tact he makes up for in earnest effort."

She stands, and levels you with a look you try hard not to whither behind. "Give him a chance. And try not to break his heart."

You smile, hoping it doesn't look as brittle as it feels. "I'll try not to."

Though I'm not sure he'll be the one getting his heart broken.

--

Buck is careful not to bother you too much at work. He still sets you on edge in that "I see through you" way of his, but he's right- nothing terrible has happened since your conversation. If anything, he's almost... gentler, in his good natured ribbing and such. He's actually rather attentive.

"Okay," He murmurs next to you at the table, most of the others finished with their food , plates cleared and being washed. "You've got your fake smile on, so spill."

You elbow him. "Cool it, Buckley."

"Great meal, Cap!" You call out to the Captain, who sends you a quick smile from the sink.

You spear a stem of asparagus prepared honestly perfectly by Bobby, and lean over to Buck. "Fine. You really wanna know?"

"Uh, yeah."

You take a huge bite, smiling as you swallow. "I hate asparagus."

Buck's eyebrows shoot up. "Are you serious? That's such a small thing to care about."

You glance up to ensure nobody's eavesdropping. "Bobby works really hard on everything he makes! I don't want any of it to go to waste or to seem unappreciative."

"Okay, we're really going to have to have a talk about your perception of everyone," He elbows you back, "Come on. Bobby would not be offended if you don't eat the vegetables because you don't like asparagus period. It's not like you're even saying you don't like his cooking!"

You take another bite. Only A few left. "Better safe than sorry."

"Stop eating them--"

"I have to finish them!"

"Something wrong over there?" Bobby's voice rings out over the kitchen.

"Nope!" You call back.

"Actually," Buck starts, ignoring your furious elbowing, "Our little investigator over here doesn't like asparagus."

Bobby tilts his head with a smile. "Why didn't you say something?"

Your stomach lurches. Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god-- "I... didn't want you to be offended?"

"Why would I be offended that you don't like asparagus?"

"Because you cooked it?"

He shakes his head. "Not how things work around here. If you don't like something, you don't have to eat it."

Your face feels like it's on fire and your palms are sweating and you kind of feel a little nauseous. But that might be the asparagus. "Right. Okay. Thanks."

Bobby goes back to loading the dishwasher, and the others are no longer paying attention, so you lower your forehead to the table, grateful that Buck moves your plate away before your head can meet your now unfinished vegetables.

"Why did you do that?"

"Because asparagus is a dumb thing to be worried about," He says, voice light and cheery.

"It was a valid concern," You mumble.

"Maybe in your head. But not quite in reality," He rubs your back consolingly a few times, though all the action does is rile you up more. You're suddenly hyper-aware of the fact that you're still sitting here and you actually can't see if the others are still looking and oh god maybe Bobby is upset because you're an adult, you should've known that and--

"I can physically feel how tense you just got."

Oh. Right. His hand is still on your back.

"Relax," He drags out the word, his voice low and deep, "No one is going to spontaneously hate you. I sure don't."

"You don't count."

"Mm, how come?"

You're glad your face is currently hidden by the table, because you flush when you mumble the next words.

"Cause you think I'm pretty."

"I do," He amends, "But I'm not sure that discounts my opinion. IF anything, it doubles it."

"That's not how that works."

"It's not?"

"No."

He leans in, his breath tickling your ear. "Prove me wrong, then."

--

Saturday approaches and your anxiety increases. Buck had in deed texted you the details -which did, actually, make you feel better, knowing a bit of what to expect and having it in writing.

When Saturday arrives and the clock inches closer to the time he said he'd pick you up, you start to question if any of this was a good idea.

Everything collapses when you have to pick an outfit. Nothing seems right- everything is either too much or not enough. You blink the tears out of your eyes because you spent too long on your makeup to ruin it, and Buck's gonna be here soon and you need to just pick something--

A knock sounds at your door and you gasp. Shit.

You rush to the front door, and wrench it open.

"Hi I'm so sorry I'm not ready yet- oh my god are those flowers?"

Buck takes the rush of words in stride, smiling and holding the bouquet out to you. "They are."

You take the flowers with reverence, the gentle, floral aroma soothing your senses.

"Are... you okay?"

You blink, not realizing that tears had begun to well up in your eyes again. "What? Oh, yeah. Sorry. I'm a little... frazzled."

His gaze darts down. "Is that why you don't have pants on?"

You're almost one hundred percent sure you burst into flames right then and there. And if you don't, you seriously hope you do.

"Oh my god- don't look, I'll be right back, uh, please come inside and close the door!"

You race back into your room and shut the door, throwing on the closest pair of pants- which happen to be the fuzzy, old, candy heart-print pajama pants you took on three hours ago when you started getting ready.

You step back out, now sporting a wonderful outfit consisting of your black, rather nicely fitting going out top and fluffy pajama pants.

"I'll be ready in about fifteen minutes, sorry about the," You pause, swallowing your embarrassment, "Lack of pants."

He chuckles, laughing that nice little Buck laugh that settles your nerves a bit. "Hey, I wasn't complaining. I asked for the real you and this has all been very real."

Your never-ending flush revives itself as he speaks. "I"m really sorry, I'm usually more put together than this, I promise."

He takes a step toward you. "Remember why we're going on this date?"

A beat passes.

Buck takes another step. "To make you more comfortable with me. And the team, but mostly me."

You laugh a little, a nervous thing.

"But you don't seem very comfortable right now." His hands rise to the your waist, sliding down to your hips.

"Sorry," You say on instinct.

He huffs. "Still don't think you're getting the point of this. Okay, what was the big stressor of tonight, besides the actual date part?"

You look down at your feet. "My outfit."

"Well," He says, squeezing your waist and very clearly enjoying the little squeak you let out at the action, "Then why don't we sollve that by..."

Your heart siezes. Oh god, you're not ready to sleep with him, you haven't had your everything shower because it was only the first date and you didn't think--

"...Staying in tonight? I can order some takeout and we can watch a movie."

Oh.

"But your reservation--"

"Can be called and cancelled," He soothes. "I only want to do things you're comfortable with. That was the whole point of this date."

Later, after you both stuffed your faces with takeout graciously ordered by Buck, and both of you cuddled up on the couch (!) you let yourself speak.

"Buck?"

"Hmm?"

"Sorry for freaking out earlier," You curl your arm around his bicep, face smashed into the side of it while you (pretend) to watch the movie. "Thanks for... this. And the flowers."

"You really like those flowers, huh?"

"Mhm. They're really pretty. No one's ever gotten me flowers before."

"What? No way."

"Well. I haven't ever gotten flowers from a date or boyfriend," You stumble over the word boyfriend, "But like, you know. Graduations and stuff."

"Guess we're going to have to fix that, then."

"We are?"

He raises a brow. "You didn't think I was gonna stop at one date, did you?"

"Well it was kind of a mess."

He shrugs. "On one of my first dates, I choked on bread and my date at the time had to perform a tracheotomy with a ballpoint pen."

You gape at him. "Those are real?"

He traces a finger over the thin, silver scar on his throat. "Yep. So trust me, this date turned out fine. I actually uh,"

He flushes a little, a dusting of red on his cheeks. "I actually really enjoyed tonight."

You chew your lip, nervous and scared but all the sudden deciding that you're going to get over yourself and do something. No matter how small.

You stare at the end credits. "You wanna watch another movie?"

"Absolutely. More takeout?"

"I don't know how you can even think about eating more. But I do have popcorn in the pantry."

He presses a quick, soft little kiss to your cheek. "Perfect."

₊˚⊹♡

[rafey-baby]

sweet treat

construction worker!rafe spends his days ‘lifting heavy stuff and building shit’ and is always showing up to the small cafe shy!reader works at all sweaty and white shirt dirtied...

c/w: rafe being flirty, her having the biggest crush on him, suggestive, 18+ mdni!

wc: 1k

hope you enjoy xx

series masterlist

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Every time the golden bell above the door of the coffee shop dings and Rafe’s eyes settle on her soft form, the edges of his mouth tilt up— offering her a lazy grin as he asks what baked good she’d recommend for him to try that day.  

His visits have become something she begins to look forward to, him asking about her day with his raspy voice and big biceps bulging as he leans against the counter; always managing to drag a nervous giggle out of her. She feels like a Pavlov’s dog, her brain tingling and mind buzzing like a bee when the clock ticks away and the time he usually walks through the mustard yellow door approaches.   

And he thinks she’s just as sweet as sugar, especially when she smiles at him all bashful, trying to hide the way her eyes round out and her breath gets caught in her throat whenever he leans closer to her; asking what she’s doing after her shift with a slow drawl.  

And while she’s busy answering, he lifts his thumb to her cheek to swipe away a smudge of flour dusted over the skin there, lingering for a second too long. “Messy girl,” he’d murmur, purposefully trying to make her blush, taunting her.   

Slowly but surely, his visits become the best part of her day when she realizes she’s beginning to harbor fond, gooey feelings towards the slightly older guy who makes a show of loudly humming in satisfaction when he bites into a raspberry chocolate muffin she’s baked, honey dripping from his tongue when he showers her in compliments.   

And he seems to be pleased when she diverts her jittery eyes from his gaze and tries to busy herself with swiping a rag over a spot on the countertop (for the fourth time already), sneaking glances at him indulging in the confectioneries she’s practically forcing him to taste test now because whenever she tries a new recipe, she always wants him to be the first one to try it. And he’s not complaining.   

When he finds out she walks home by herself, even late at night, there’s no other option for him but to insist on driving her home because he doesn’t like the idea of such a pretty girl walking alone in the dark, doesn’t like it at all.   

“Oh, no, I wouldn’t wanna be a bother, m’fine,” she denies him immediately, to which he merely furrows his brows; telling her it wouldn’t be a bother at all since he can often work quite late as well— practically demanding to know what time she gets off that night. And she has no choice but to hesitantly reply, his stern tone almost compelling her to give into his every wish.   

It becomes a routine for them; him waiting for her to finish up cleaning and her mumbling out a soft thank you when he holds the door of his truck open with his palm on the small of her back guiding her inside. Whenever he teases her about being his little passenger princess, she practically melts into a puddle on the seat; trying to hide her flustered face from him, but failing miserably.  

And no matter how many times he’s driven her home, she still feels rather overwhelmed in the small space of his car, a plum tinge heating up her face whenever she feels his eyes on her, catching her staring at his big hands. She doesn’t know why he’s allowed to have such alluring details in the first place; a singular gold ring adorning his index finger and his strawberry lips so inviting.  

Therefore, it’s not really her fault when her mind gets lost in a haze and her brain turns foggy when she notices how his strong arms flex whenever he turns the steering wheel while his thumb taps against the leather. Or when his blunt fingernails scratch at the slight stubble on his face and she wonders how it would feel on the sensitive skin of her inner thighs or— 

“You, uh, you good, sweetheart?” Rafe asks and she blinks, realizing he’s asked her a question. A question her dazed cerebrum has no recollection of.   

“Sorry?” her face burns with embarrassment.  

A low chuckle rumbles from his chest. “What’s on your mind, hm?”   

“Oh, um— nothing, just, uh, tired and…stuff,” she attempts to sound convincing.  

However, his grin only widens. “Yeah? So, you, uh, you tellin’ me you weren’t just checkin’ me out?” his tone turns into something patronizing.   

“What? I— no, no I was just—”  

“Relax, m’just fuckin’ with you,” but there’s a mocking glint in his eyes that indicates she’s not being very subtle. 

“Asked if you were hungry?” he flits his eyes to hers once more.  

“Uh...yeah, sure. Don’t even remember how long it’s been since I ate lunch to be honest,” she starts to ramble, trying to ignore the murky thoughts trying to breach the surface.   

“Why don’t you, uh, come over to my place then ‘n I could make you somethin? Jus sayin’...I’m a great cook. Feels unfair that you’re always the one fillin’ up my belly,” he says as his mind starts to concoct a few other ways he could fill up her belly, willing to bet that she’d let him.   

After all, he’s not an idiot. He sees the way her moony eyes travel down his features whenever she thinks he’s not paying attention— thinks it’s absolutely adorable how sheepish she gets about it. However, he’s hesitant about the right way to approach it, not wanting to scare the shy little thing away.  

Therefore, he opts to warm her up with a homemade meal, and afterwards let her have a sweet treat; fuck her dumb until tears trickle down her cheeks and she’s a whimpering mess. He knows he could make her feel so good, wants to show her just how much she’s missing— wants to make her beg for it and wants to be a little mean about it, but most of all just wants to make her his. 

“Um…okay,” she agrees with a nod of her head because how is she supposed to deny him of anything when he’s looking at her with those eyes that resemble dulcet water puddles? 

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

Eddie gets beaten on by Jason and his crew and Reader (who has a crush on him) sees him limping to his van and she walks over to him and helps him into the van, drives him home and then does her best to patch him up and help him, maybe ending with a sweet kiss? Request by @somethingvicked

Mentions of violence, blood. Little bits of angst sprinkled with fluff and a speechless Eddie. mdni.

Eddie x fem!reader.

🖤

Not canon compliant because Jason is alive in this for story purposes, Vecna is gone for good though. Bye bye you grinchy ass looking bitch 💁‍♀️

🖤

The first hit came before Eddie could even dodge it. Jason's fist hits his face with precision, then another blow to his stomach doubles Eddie over.

"We all know you killed Chrissy and the others, you freak, I don't give a shit what the chief of police said, you did it" Jason's face is red with fury, lost in a haze of violence. One of his friends holds Eddie's arms around his back, so he can't defend himself.

Which is when Eddie has the extremely dumb idea to use his head to smash into Carver's nose. It works in the fact that it sends him stumbling back...doesn't help the pain he's already feeling though, the force of the hit sends another wave of agony through him.

Fuck, did he actually break his nose on Carver's face?

He can feel his heart pounding in his chest, he did not survive almost getting eaten alive by demobats to get killed by Jason and his friends. Jason stumbles to his feet and the grip on his shoulders tightens courtesy of David and Liam.

"Tell me what you did to her, Munson! Say it, you fucking asshole" Jason screams at him, Eddie wants to tell him everything, everything that went down during Spring Break, the Demobats, The Upside Down, Vecna. All of it.

But he can't. Nda's were signed and let's be real, Jason wouldn't believe him even if Eddie did tell the truth. He was still trying to wrap his head around it himself. "I didn't hurt her man. I didn't hurt any of them I swear it" Eddie chokes out. His ribs are aching and he's sure his bandages have come loose.

There's another thump that catches him off guard, hits the sensitive spots where the bats tore into him and he's blinking back tears of pain.

He expects another blow to knock him off his feet but when he looks up Jason's fist is cocked and he's in position to hit Eddie again but the hit doesn't come. Instead, Jason's face crumples in pain and he drops his hand, within seconds Eddie is tossed unceremoniously onto the floor and Jason and his friends are gone.

What the fuck?

He doesn't know how he does it but he manages to drag his ass up into a standing position and limps all the way to his van, tries to calm his racing heart and figures a smoke might settle his nerves.

His fingers are shaking as he tries to light up, then he almost drops it when a soft voice comes out of nowhere.

"Are you okay?"

🖤

You saw Eddie limping to his van just as you were ready to bike home. Even from where you were you could see the blood on his shirt. Jason and his friends must have caught up to him, you have no doubt about it.

Everyone knew what happened at Spring Break, at least with the murders. How Eddie was blamed then cleared, Hawkins finding the real culprit Henry Creel, a deranged serial killer.

To be honest you never believed that Eddie had anything to do with the murders in the first place, there were rumours about the state of the bodies, bones broken and twisted in ways that couldn't be natural, eyeballs sunken in and jaws broken. It was the stuff of nightmares.

Some idiots thought that Eddie was a vessel for satan and that's what Dungeons and Dragons was about, a satanic ritual. It was ridiculous. Your friend's cousin played D&D and it was just a fantasy game. Nothing satanic about it.

Without thinking you head over to Eddie. Maybe you could help? You were a whiz with first aid and he looked like he needed patched up and like he could use a friend. Quietly you approach him as he tries to light his cigarette, his hands are shaking so you reach out to steady them.

"You okay?" He peers up at you, big brown eyes wide and kinda like a deer in headlights, he really was beautiful. Normally being this close to someone you had a crush on for almost the whole school year would be mortifying but you were more worried about his injuries than your racing heart right now.

"Hi Eddie" you murmur and he's still gawking at you but accepts your help to light the cigarette, watches you curiously as he takes the first drag.

"Uh hi sweetheart" you and Eddie talked a few times, every time you did he would have a cheeky smile (all dimples) and a cute nickname for you. It did not help with your crush one bit, even though he probably called everybody some sort of nickname, it still made your heart skip a beat.

"Carver did a number on you" you wince as you take in the cuts and bruises on his arm, the blood on his face "I can drive you home, take a look at the injuries?" He nods and tosses you his keys.

You help Eddie into the van as best as you can then head inside. He gives you directions to head to his trailer and you get him there and inside with minimal fuss.

"Okay, you'll need to take your shirt off" you murmur as Eddie points you in the direction of a first aid kit. Eddie grins, "Trying to get me naked or something princess?" he teases and you do your best to hide how flustered you are.

It wasn't your fault, his eyes were so pretty and the way his voice deepened at the end of the sentence gave you butterflies. Shit. This was so not the time.

You locate the first aid kit and get out new bandages, wipes and plasters, scissors and painkillers.

When you head back into Eddie's room he's propped up on the bed. He's shirtless, tattoos on full display and from your vantage point you can see some scars where his bandages have fallen off, silvery scars that look a lot like bite marks...

Eddie looks nervous which is rare for him so you don't comment on the scars, you're curious though but don't want to push. "Do they still hurt?" you ask quietly and his smile dims just a bit.

"A little, not as bad as when it first happened though, fucking bats" he curses then his gaze widens as it meets yours. Bats?

"Bats?" you probe gently and make sure that his bandages are secure again, from the small peeks that you can see, the bite marks are healing but still red, some are healed or are silvery scars. It looks like he was mauled, the thought makes your hands shake.

He sighs, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you princess" your heart skips a beat again but you ignore that, still curious what he means.

"Yeah? Try me. Any person in this stupid town can see that it's cursed or something isn't right" Eddie bites his lips and he looks like he wants to tell you, he really does.

"I wish I could sweetheart but it's uh complicated, nda's and cover-ups and shit" Oh. Well shit. "But yeah bats, big bats, not cute ones either but ugly little shits with super sharp teeth and claws. I can let you know that much"

You're stunned but then some of the things that you've heard Dustin say to Jason and other people who don't believe that Eddie's innocent come back to you.

"He's not a murderer. He's a hero. You stupid assholes don't deserve what he did for you"

So Eddie was protecting the town? Dustin too and maybe other people were involved? You smile and begin to clean up Eddie's cuts. "Hmm, Dustin's right then" Eddie looks confused and you lean forward to clean the blood on his nose.

"Oh yeah? What did the little butthead say?" he asks with a fond expression, you giggle at his tone. Like Dustin is his little brother or something, it's sweet. It's sweet how he looks after people in Hellfire Club, and it pisses you off that people just think he's a freak and don't look past their stupid prejudices to see how good Eddie is.

"That you're a hero. I believe that Eddie Munson, then again I've always thought you were a hero" it's Eddie's turn to be speechless as he gawks at you.

"You think I'm a hero?" he looks like he can't believe that anyone would ever think that about him and it hurts your heart so much.

"Well yeah, anyone who takes lost sheep under their wing and protects them like you do? Or risks his life for a town that can't see past their own stupid prejudices to see what's really happening? Yeah, I think you're a hero Eddie" your speech is impassioned and a bit of a rant so you're breathless, eyes sparkling at the end of it.

Once again Eddie is speechless but not for the reasons you think. "You're beautiful" he murmurs awed and you're flustered once again. Damn it.

"Maybe the hero gets the girl?" he asks softly and there goes your traitor heart again. Does he mean you? Or some other girl maybe. The thought hurts your heart but you plaster a smile on your face.

"I'm not sure any girl could resist those pretty eyes Eddie" a faint blush coats his cheeks at your compliment and he fakes a swoon, smiles at you all dimples and cuteness.

"Flattery works with me princess, not only am I a hero but I also have pretty eyes" you giggle at his overdramatic gestures.

He's all patched up now so he puts his shirt back in and a funny tension hangs in the air. "So, uh would you like to hang out again? when I'm not all beat up and shit. Maybe Friday?" Oh. You beam and nod feeling shy all of a sudden.

"Like a date?" you ask hopefully and he's still blushing faintly. It's so cute and you're sure tonight you're going to be squealing over every interaction the two of you had.

"Yeah, a date princess, he moves closer and the way he's looking at you is sending your heart into overdrive. "can, can I kiss you?" He asks and you nod, wanting nothing more than to press your lips against his plush pink ones.

He strokes your cheek and then his lips meet yours, it starts off gentle and hesitant, then it deepens and you gasp pulling him closer. You both come away a little bit dazed and you giggle as he flops dramatically on the bed.

"Now that was some kiss sweetheart, he beams at the sound of your giggles, when you sober up you bite your lip and decide to tell him a secret.

"I never thought you'd notice me" you say it quietly but he still hears it and gapes like you've truly stunned him this time.

"Seeing your pretty smile dragged me out of bed most days sweetheart, even more than d&d but that's our little secret" he winks and you make a zipping motion. Before you leave Eddie pulls you into another kiss then another.

Okay, so maybe you could be a little late to return your movie at Family Video if it meant kissing Eddie some more.

🖤💌

[cybershock24601]

More post canon Rookanis thoughts today as I contemplate how weird their inclusion of Spite in their relationship would be to everyone. Even if Spite isn’t involved romantically they still try to make the guy feel included like they did when they ordered that extra cup of coffee on their little date in game.

Personally I feel like the Crows (especially Caterina and Illario for similar yet different reasons) would do their best to ignore the fact that Lucanis is an abomination now and has a little guy riding around shotgun at all times and that fiction works right up until Rook moves in with Lucanis and suddenly it’s a lot harder to ignore Spite.

Especially since I headcanon my watcher Rook has always been able to tell when Spite is talking even if she can’t hear what he’s saying. She’s sensitive enough to freaky fade stuff to hear something, though it took her a bit to figure out that something was Spite as his words sounds like muffled whispers from a room over where you can tell someone is talking but can’t at all make the words. So in the time between the games end and Rook moving in with Lucanis while she’s settling Watcher responsibilities and helping with the aftermath of everything that happened, she’s also working with Emmrich to hone her magical senses enough to hear Spite. It’s a good skill for a Watcher to have and it would probably be nice for Spite to be able to talk to someone else without having to highjack Lucanis’ vocal cords, also Rook’s a nosy bitch and doesn’t like not being able to hear what the third person in the room is saying because she knows Spite talks about her.

Anyways, now everyone can’t ignore Spite’s existence as rookanis set up a third place setting when sitting down for some afternoon tea and coffee and occasionally pause before replying to something no one else can hear. Or Rook suddenly giggling out of nowhere at something Spite says because she’s not nearly as good at not reacting to Spite’s unheard commentary. Creepiest of all is when someone walks into the room when Lucanis is taking the nap to find Rook and Spite playing card games together and it’s so unsettling for the people who have known Lucanis their whole life to see him with his eyes glowing and his face twisted into foreign expressions, not to mention how strange it is to hear another voice coming out of Lucanis’ mouth.

Caterina nominally ignores the whole thing but is probably looking into how to get Spite exorcised. Illario ends up in learning things about Lucanis that he never knew as Spite is more willing to air Lucanis’ grievances in their relationship which ends up giving Illario a new perspective on a lot of things in their past and possibly leads to Lucanis and Illario having a truly honest and emotionally open talk for the first time in their entire lives. Teia treats Spite cautiously at first but ends up viewing him like some sort carnival side show where yes Spite unnerves her but the little guys actually really funny, and unlike everyone else, it’s Spite that ignores Viago because his protectiveness over Lucanis has manifested in snubbing Viago in return for hurting Lucanis’ feelings all those years ago when he ignored Lucanis’ affections. Very funny if this is how Viago realizes the knife was actually Lucanis’ way of flirting and not some sort of indirect threat. Teia and Rook are absolutely cracking up while this happens due to the absurdity of the situation.

[weirdgenetic-fuckup]

Can you do a fic with a really innocent reader who is shy and nervous about receiving oral sex for the first time. But eventually Axl gets her to see that he just wants to help her relax and make her feel good. And he’s super sweet, gentle, tender, and caring towards her and praises her during her first time because he knows how nervous she is and he just wants to treat her the best he can.

A/n: Ik I've been posting a lot the past few days but I have not been writing anything and just posting drafts so I'm trying to write more bc I'm running out of finished drafts and I have so many asks :')

Warnings: Smut, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), praise, cum eating, if you think I missed anything let me know otherwise enjoy!

Masterlist

Axl was your first for everything. You’d been dating since high school and you moved out to L.A. with him when he asked on a whim.

Up until now you hadn’t done a lot of things, sexually speaking. You’d given him a blow job, jerked him off. You’d rubbed against each other but nothing much more than that, though he desperately wanted to see what face you made when you came.

You’d been having a shitty week, getting yelled at, ignored, pushed to the side and walked over and at the end of the day you’d come home and tell Axl all about your day. Then, like clockwork, Axl would offer to relieve you of your stress.

It was Friday and you finally had a day off, you just had to make it through one more day of work. That’s what you kept telling yourself over and over again.

Everything was going fine until Axl called. You picked up the phone and listened to him complain about stuff with Guns, then your boss walked past and snatched the phone from you, slamming it back into its place and hanging up on Axl before going on a rant about how ‘useless’ you’d been.

You left soon after, earlier than you were supposed to.

You just crawled into bed and stayed there, unmoving for hours.

Axl can home and called out for you, eventually finding you in the bedroom. He had a bag in one hand filled with snacks.

“Hey sweetheart, another bad day?” He asked, making his way over to you and sitting next to you on the bed. You nodded and reached for the bag but he pulled it away from you. “No candy unless you let me help you.”

“But-“

“What do you have to lose at this point?” He asked, setting the bag down on the floor. You thought about it for a moment before slowly pulling your work pants down. “Good girl.” You smiled at the pet name and let him do the rest.

You sat back against the bed frame, Axl got comfortable between your legs after having taken off your panties. “Just try to take your mind off work.”

You groaned. “But I want to complain.” Axl laughed, his hot breath fanning over your cunt.

“Then you can complain afterwards, right now let me take care of you.” You nodded, a soft gasp leaving you when his tongue slid through your already glistening folds.

His tongue dipped into you, flicking sensitive nerves. His nose, fuck, you couldn't count how many times it bumped your clit, you couldn't tell if he was trying to or not but you wanted more.

"Fuck-! Axl, that-that feels..." You trailed off, unsure of what you were trying to say.

"It feels good, right?" He asked, barely pulling away to speak. He smiled up at you, pretty eyes and shiny lips. You nodded and he went back to fucking you, his tongue swirling around your clit.

"Hah! I-I should've let you do-do this sooner, oh fuck~" Your head rolled back, resting against the headboard. Your hands went to his head, tugging on his hair and drawing moans from him which vibrated through you.

"Doing so good for me, sweetheart~" His deep voice had your legs shaking. "Making such pretty noises." A hand left your thigh and you felt him push a finger into you. Your back arched as he curled it inside you, dragging against your walls and pulling moans out of you.

"Axl, m'gonna- m'so close!" You whined. Out of curiosity you looked down at him. His gaze flickered between your face and your cunt, tongue slipping past his lips, paying attention to your clit, fingers pushing in and out of your puffy hole. Such an angelic and filthy sight.

Your body shook as you came at the sight, eyes rolling back, pleasure rocking your body. He felt so good.

"See?" Axl sat up, licking your juices off his fingers and wiping his chin. "I told you it felt good." Your mind was foggy as you tried to catch your breath. You smiled tiredly and closed your legs, only for Axl to force them apart again. "No, I want more." He gleamed, leaning in and kissing you, you could taste the saltiness of yourself on his lips.

[dontexpectmuch]

i know how much you guys love this series, so i give you a new part. this one how ever will be;

comments/feedback is highly appreciated! please, im getting desperate :d

Habits Jude Bellingham might develop before you guys get into a relationship!

(a Lost in Madrid drabble!)

it is no secret that jude just loves to talk. he genuinely enjoys it so much to share any and every thought that goes through his mind, no matter how small it might be. he couldn’t tell when it started exactly, but suddenly he found himself on his way to you, a tired student that just wants to finish their work. as soon as he lifts his hand, knocks on your door and enters the room his lips start moving, talking so lively and fast that you need some time to register what is even happening.

“what do you mean ‘m talkin’ your ear off? you literally study literature and shit!” - “it’s more about reading, jude.” you sigh, wishing for any kind of help at this moment.

it is also nothing new for you to receive messages from jude during your quiet evenings when you decide to stay home. jude recently got into sending audio messages, you being his number one victim [forced] friend, whom he shared this new passion with. and most of the times he won’t even say anything important. he’ll just sing a new spanish song he has learned that past week. and he will sing. no matter how terrible it sounds and how much it makes your ears bleed. though, you also always listen to those audios, even though you know what the content will be.

“jude?” opening your door after hearing a desperate knock, you did not think that you would see your [not] friend standing there. he looks tiredly at you, clothes wrinkled and sandals on, “mum wanted me to bring you some cake she baked.” he gives you the tupperware filled with slices of cake, energy low. you feel your shoulders relax as you look up at him, “tell her i love her, please.” he just nods. and even though he always complains to you about how he is not some delivery boy, he can’t help but get excited at the thought of seeing your soft eyes when you receive food his mum made. it makes him feel giddy inside.

he makes you trip purposely whenever you walk in front of him, and then giggles and jogs away to join the others on the field when you send daggers his way with your glare.

he forces you to play two-touch, even though you have told him multiple times already that you cannot play really well. he quite literally forces you to become better, giving you tips while making you pass the ball against the wall back and forth. “i don’t want to do this anymore, jude.” - “well, that’s too damn bad.” his gaze serious as he corrects your form once more. “bitch.” you murmur under your breath, praying for him to just disappear somewhere and leave you alone.

“what?” you ask as you look up from your notes, eyes wide as you watch jude place a cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll onto your desk. “i heard that you like sweets, or whatever.” he says, [desperately] wanting to look cool. your heart starts to pick up in speed when you look back and forth between jude and the things he just gave you, warmth spreading through your body. “thanks.”

“watch me.” he smirks at you, who looks quite annoyed tired at him. “i’ll hit this first time.” - “like you did to me on my first day here?” - “dude! i told you not to talk about it anymore, ‘t’s a sensitive topic for me, ‘kay?”

heartfelt conversations between you are not as rare as one might think. whenever jude comes to you to talk your ear off while toi work on your research, you sometimes tell him about your own stuff. that leads to various topics you two discuss, which also results in sharing some intimate thoughts. it makes jude, who usually looks so confident and well put together, look more human, like a 20 year old guy who also learns something new every day.

—————————————

surpriseee! hope you like it!! :)

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

How to react to you longtime girlfriend regaining her angelic wings: a guide by Charlie Morningstar, proud girlfriend of said girlfriend.

Things you SHOULD do with her new wings!

Notice them! (this is easy bc they are BIG and BEAUTIFUL with the soft grey faded colors of an overcast sky right before it rains and gives you an excuse to stay indoors snuggled in soft blankets drinking hot coco together back when everything was simpler and safe which is exactly what getting folded up in them will feel like later and- what? oh right! The list thing, um-)

Complement your girlfriend's wings! Maybe don't overwhelm her with a whole paragraph just yet though. Saying "They look nice!" works perfectly good. (waxing poetic can wait until Alone Time)

GENTLY touch the wings. But not too gently!!! Maybe hold the upper joint place, like a little handshake hello. (the feathers are attached to very VERY sensitive bundles of nerves for feeling out air pressure and drafts and stuff, Vaggie says, but they are TOTALLY NOT TICKLISH supposedly and the reason you shouldn't run your hands across them all nilly-willy whenever you get caught up in how pretty and soft they are is it messes them up and means they need preening again to make flying work right, and THAT'S why she jumps and squeaks about it. She likes keeping things tidy! That's all! No other reason. Noooope)

Things you should NOT do with her new wings!!!!!

Blow a giant raspberry right between them, where the feathers get all small and super extra downy soft, just to see what will happen.

Do the above in the middle of maybe KINDA making out....?

Tell absolutely everyone in the hotel about it directly afterwards.

Thing you WILL end up doing if you complete the above list

Spend the night on the bedroom couch: because you keep remembering the noise she made during the raspberry blowing incident, and giggling yourself and her awake about it.

Wake up in bed anyway: snuggled in your girlfriend's arms the same way you do any time you fall asleep in the wrong place and she has to come find you and carry you back with her so SHE can get some sleep too- only this time she also has WINGS!!! And her wings tuck around you so warm and strong, you'd swear you've felt this every time waking up with her before- only now the feeling is all around you, instead of just wrapped around your heart <3

You're still sleeping on the couch tomorrow though: At LEAST for the first part of the night. Or however long it takes before you stop giggling over hearing your totally an angel very serious former solider and absolutely Not a BIRD girlfriend Squawk.

Things to KEEP doing now your girlfriend has wings again!

Try better next time with the rule following??

Hope you're doing okay so far????

Help her with the preening!!

Stop giggling. Somehow.

Staring at them and spacing out is also okay as long as you say you're "acclimating" yourself to the "sudden change in a core aspect" of your life when someone catches you at it. They won't believe you- But! They'll probably just roll their eyes and let you get back to the staring. Acclimating. Whatever!

Anyway, good luck to whoever needs this! Hope this helps things go smoothly for you, Cherri Bomb!!

Also- Angel Dust, if you've read this far, then PLEASE don't tell Husk. Me and Vaggie PROMISED him not to give you ideas, and we don't wanna get banned from the bar again :(

Sincerely, Charlie Morningstar, princess of Hell, Vaggie's girlfriend (!!!)

Note from Vaggie: You're doing great sweetie. And you're lucky you're cute when you laugh, even in your sleep. P.S. There's no 'supposedly' about it, my wings are NOT ticklshkSkk .... P.P.S. from Charlie: are you suuuure? <3 <3 <3

[neplusultros]

war is the father of all things

thinking a little bit about yoru as a parent. obviously, makima-as-the-mother imagery was key to part 1 both visually and as part of its ongoing interrogation of abuse, love, and the family structure. similarly, though yoru as peer and lover to denji is a popular framing (particularly after chapters 191-193), i think there is a lot to be gained by reading yoru not from denji's view in which she is a possible equal, but from asa's perspective of her as a mother figure.

spoilers through chapter 193 follow.

if you're here voluntarily reading this post you probably don't need an explainer on the makima-mother stuff so here's a quick recap image

clockwise from top-left: fujimoto interview with shueisha, ch. 82, ch. ch. 76, anime ED1, ch. 82

wow! what a shitty mom.

a lot of analysis about yoru and asa and denji situates and investigates yoru as either 1) a peer (to the extent a devil can be a peer) or 2) a part of asa's personality. either way, she's considered and framed as someone roughly on par with asa and denji, not least because just as they are teenagers struggling to find their place in the world and understand romantic feelings, yoru seems to be doing a lot of the same! the visual imagery contributes; not only is yoru positioned against denji as an equal (versus makima looming over him, or crouching to speak to him), she's also made an equal to the missing asa via the empty chair. a lot has (understandably) been made of contrasting this against, again, makima and denji.

ch. 12, ch. 193

but of course, yoru is not just a peer to these teenagers. on one level, this is true because she is an ageless and ancient devil. though we don't have a sense of how "old" potoo-war is when it first meets asa, it's clearly not "young"; it remembers that it used to be more powerful and also that nuclear weapons existed, so clearly it has at least some understanding of its past.

but more than that, it's true because yoru's not like other teens. she's a mom. a cool mom.

ch. 176

in a very real way, from moment 1, as soon as war (let's call her by her maiden name, shall we?) shows up, she's mothering asa. wake up, welcome to the world, now go to school or you'll be punished. are kids bullying you? i'll deal with them. i'm here to give you tough love, but i'll also tell you when you're being too hard on yourself.

ch. 99, ch. 100, ch. 121

war is making a conscious effort to teach asa how to behave, to impart values to her, and it's generally working. of course, the realization that one is behaving just like one's mother might be a point of filial frustration and irritation just as it is a point of parental pride.

ch. 145

in this frame, it's easy to see war not just as a facet of asa, but as someone external to her that is protective of her, that wants what's best for her and also wants her to get what she wants, but can also be impatient, demanding, overrides her autonomy, and acts like she never knows best. she doesn't just want to help asa achieve her desires, but to make sure her desires are the proper ones.

ch. 124, ch. 168, ch. 135

but of course, some degree of discord exists because asa's concerns are not 100% how war perceives them, and the heart wants what it wants. children don't live in the same world their parents imagine they do. a child can see rules and invisible lines a parent doesn't, particularly with respect to their own relationships and social life. and even when they're wrong about those, their feeling a line has been crossed might actually be communicating something more complex and sensitive about their own problems, or their efforts to form an identity.

ch. 168, ch. 113

i don't think any of this motherhood framing is all that accidental. in fact, i think it's there from the very start. when war makes a contract with asa, it exactly parallels how she thinks about motherhood.

ch. 177, ch. 98

"children are their parents' property, no?"

"if you want to live, your body will be mine."

being (re)born is neither a voluntary task nor an independent one: a child is entirely at their caretakers' mercy until they are capable of fending for themselves, and of course, would not have been born if their parents hadn't conceived a child. to many parents, this state of contingency and guardianship implies ownership, which implies the right to abandon or destroy. "i brought you into this world. i can take you out of it." war might care for her children. but ultimately, their lives and their bodies are hers to do with as she pleases. if she wants you to do something, she will steal your body and do it for you. the ultimate helicopter parent.

when read in this way, war's fascination with denji can feel like she read her daughter's diary and is aggressively and disastrously intervening in her personal life. she's taking it on herself to teach asa's crush about relationships and courtship, and even make sure he's properly fed.

ch. 192, ch. 193

of course, in doing so, she's usurping asa's place, enacting not what asa wants, but what she thinks asa should want (a kiss, a handjob, a date, sex). the daughter vanishes entirely, erased and replaced by her mother's facsimile of her.

ch. 193

to be clear, i don't think this does much to change or negate the reading that yoru is experiencing her own feelings for denji. if anything, i think it adds interesting nuances and wrinkles to it as not just a fight internal to asa, but as a complex case of what is almost covert incest.

i do think one advantage of this reading, however, is that it centers asa's relationship to yoru. most conversations lately have focused on yoru's relationship to denji, for understandable reasons: it's been the main action of the manga for the last few chapters, and asa has been intentionally sidelined.

i believe that it is extremely intentional the last major interaction asa and war have before everything kicks into high gear emphasizes asa's horrified response to her philosophy on parenting.

ch. 177

and almost immediately afterward, war exploits asa's affection for her to override her control of her body and do exactly what asa wants her not to do.

ch. 179. read right to left. yes i know the pages are on the wrong sides.

your mother doesn't trust you. she thinks you're weak. she takes control of your life, tells you where to go and what to do. she forces you to go on a date with someone you don't even like, then berates your performance the whole time. she tries to erode your personality and desires to replace them with hers. when you object, she tells you not to think. you can do nothing but watch as she exploits her other children and hurts people. when you try to stop her, she leverages your real affection for her to guilt you into acquiescing. either she's developed feelings for your crush and is sincerely trying to have sex with him, or she's pimping you out to him for her own gain.

what's a girl to do?

[thistlerock]

Sometimes I think about Ecaf. Sometimes I think it was less Fabian being obsessed with himself (though it was also that. Don't get me wrong) and more the fact that every time you look at a mirror it looks back.

I don't know how to word this, I'm not even super sure what I'm trying to say? Fabian thinks he's the greatest guy ever, which is sometimes uncalled for, but at the same time he doesn't seem to like himself that much. The good old "I'm superior and the greatest person in the room at all time but also the second I don't live up to this insane standard I've set for myself I feel like I'm dying. I'm a horrible failure." and yeah Fabian HAS done a lot of work to destroy that insane standard for himself, especially because his father himself (who was the inadvertent reason for it) told him he'll love him no matter what and stuff but just because it's gotten better and the general "goal" has shifted doesn't mean that the overall mindset that was engrained in him for sixteen years of his life is completely gone. It doesn't feel like it's completely gone. It still feels like he's trying way too hard sometimes, and trying to prove something to someone who can at this point only be himself.

But anyway that was me getting side tracked — the point is that it's not like Fabian likes himself enough to be able to stand himself for more than two hours. He needs to be around people.

I don't know. If it was fully just about himself then he wouldn't constantly be vying for attention. It's kind of always been for the recognition, the validation, the vindication. And, again, Fabian's gotten a lot better. He doesn't "throw a fit" (I use this phrase carefully because I don't think it's a "fit" I think if he were a real person this would probably be like. a serious problem lmao) over not getting to hog the spotlight and instead agrees to share it (for example his first time in bard class) but he still needs the spotlight to function and not crumple up and die in a corner. I think he genuinely feels like he's dying if no one is looking at him. I don't mean physically looking, I mean it in the way that his mother has been around for all his life but she didn't really look at him until the day he yelled at her to stop being an object and his father died. Like that. Fabian needs to be looked at or he feels really, really bad I think.

(The crushing loneliness of being alone in a huge manor without parents is something that would creep up on most people, yes. Not being looked at ever by anyone would damage anyone, yes. But I think Fabian is sensitive to it to a degree that's not normal. The Nightmare King's forest did try to scare them away with only the worst of their fears. Chungle-down Bim wasn't even conjured by the forest and the rat was a thing, sure, but the main thing is that no one looked at him anymore. No one could look at him and it was as if they had never been able to do so in the first place. A nightmare-ish future for him was one where he wasn't worth looking at anymore. Has Fabian ever wanted anything but to be seen?)

And it's scary to be like that, I think. To crash the second people stop looking. Because really, how likely is it that people look at you all the time? His friends have lives and concerns and honest to god issues of their own so no matter how much they care they won't be able to look at him all the time. Cathilda loves him as her son, and she's been looking at him for years but she can't right now. She really can't, and it's not like he's around her right now anyway. His father, similarly, loves him endlessly and is overjoyed to look at him any change he gets but his father is dead and in hell and so very busy. And it's hard to get in touch. Hallariel looks, sometimes, fleetingly. And he keeps chasing after it but she gets distracted so easily (and very soon he'll have to learn that Gilear and a hypothetical second child seem to be more eye catching right now, and it'll sting. And no one will really get how bad it is because it just seems kind of childish of him — and it is, kind of. But he should probably be allowed to be childishly upset when his mother seems to find it so hard to look at him and yet continues to find new things to look at. She can't concentrate on looking at the one thing in front of her, please stop getting more. Please look at him. Please.)

It's kind of cruel, but it's impossible to be looked back at every time you look at someone. It's just not gonna happen no matter how much you need it and no matter how much they like looking at you. Not with people. Sometimes they'll have their back turned to you, sometimes they'll take just a second too long to turn back towards you and it hurts, sometimes they might be looking in your general direction but not focusing on you and that might hurt even more. (Why are you not making eye contact? Is this one-sided?) It hurts to look at someone who's not looking at you.

But Ecaf's a mirror, and she looks back. Both literally and, well, not literally. She just mirrors whatever energy is thrown at her so Fabian gets all the endless devotion and attention and admiration and validation and whatnot he needs. He's not super aware of this (or if he is then he's in denial) so it feels like the greatest thing in the world. It feels like the most wonderful connection he's ever forged. Maybe it feels like "love" in the insane way he'd declared Aelwyn his love simply because it was passionate and he wanted it so desperately that it was overwhelming and he didn't know what lt could possibly be other than love. If he can't stop thinking about it, and the thought of losing it makes it hard to breathe then it has to be love, right? I don't know. I just know that every time Fabian looks at Ecaf she looks right back. Suddenly he can get all the things he needs from other people from himself (even if he's not acknowledging that he himself is giving them), it's safe and so much easier. Immediate positive feedback every time. It doesn't matter that everyone else is starting to matter a little less.

So I guess it was about being obsessed with himself after all. Something like that.

[pinkthrone445]

hii, i love you’re work so much. idk if you’re taking requests for nye stuff but if you are i was hoping to request this.. a melissa x reader (they’re together) where they go out with the abbott crew and they’re having a good time. the reader gets a bit too tipsy and mel has to take her home. (romance, soft stuff, over protective mel, FLUFF)

-New Year's resolution-

Pairing:Melissa Schemmenti x Reader

Gender :Fluff, soft

Warnings:none

Summary:Mel takes care of you while you decide to have a few drinks on New Year's Eve.

Hi sweetheart, sorry it took so long, I try to make the requests in the order in which I receive them. I hope you enjoy it!

New year, a time of changes, of new beginnings, new goals that you would not meet and would remain pending for a different next year, a time of traditions, a time to spend with family or friends, a time to enjoy and laugh.

You and Melissa, your girlfriend, used to spend New Year's Eve with the family, but this year you couldn't travel with their parents or yours because you were a bit tight on a budget with house repairs, so you accepted Jacob's invitation to celebrate the welcome of the year together with your friends from Abbott.

You were surprised when you arrived to see that everyone was there, including Barbara and her husband. The party was very well organized in a rather luxurious, decorated and quiet place.

You all ate together and shouted New Year's Eve celebrating together.

The place was so calm, that you started to drink without worries with your friend and co-worker Ava, whom was hard to keep up with the amount of alcohol she was drinking.

Your girlfriend spent much of the night with you and her friend Barbara, deciding not to drink since she would be driving home.

The night was still young and you had only had two cocktails, or had it been three? You didn't remember, it wasn't important. Anyway, the night was young and there was still plenty of time to enjoy. Little by little the drinks began to take their toll on you, and normal things became very funny in your eyes.

Mel knew you very well, how you were like when you got sick, how you were like when you were hot, how you were like when you were tired and how you were like when you were drunk, she knew that the first effect of alcohol on you was that everything started to look funny, the first effect of many.

Mel watched from her seat everything you did with Ava, she knew you were friends and trusted Ava a little, just a little, but she didn't want to lose sight of you while you were drunk. Drinking affected Mel in a way, it made her hot, soft and in need of love, but on you had a different effect, it drove you crazy and you didn't sit still, which worried the redhead when she didn't saw where you were going.

Your girlfriend almost jumped out of her seat when she saw how you wanted to climb one of the bars, the height, the alcohol and your heels were not a good combination, so she immediately called your name before you could do anything and you approached her with your head down as if she had caught you doing something wrong. When you got to her side, the redhead made you sit on her lap while you continued with your head down

-"I'm sorry"-You whispered avoiding looking at her so she couldn't feel the smell of alcohol on your mouth so much, but no matter how hard you tried to hide it, it was felt from miles away

-"Look at me, I'm not mad at you, I just want you to be careful, you can fall if you get on there, okay?"-She spoke softly and you nodded, you had entered the next stage, sensitive-"Want to eat some of my fries or a sandwich? There is also fresh water here, do you want to drink?"-You nodded again and ate while softly singing one of the songs that was playing, also drinking some water. It was rarely the time you drank much, so Mel wasn't going to be mad to you for that, but if she could do anything to keep you from getting so drunk, she would do it, that's why she tried to get you to eat and drink water.

Once you were done, you kissed her cheek and went back to drinking games with Ava and the rest.

A few minutes later, Mel lost sight of you and heard screams of a heated conversation, as she approached she saw you fighting with someone who apparently had said something that you didn't like very much and you responded worse causing a fight, that meant you had entered the next stage, anger and tantrums. The redhead carefully grabbed your waist and lifted you up a little to get away from the fight, like when you grab a puppy so it doesn't keep fighting with other dogs. You were about to complain but she asked you to dance with her and that made you calm down and forget about the fight.

The music was slow and Mel's body was hot, it felt good to have her close, her hands were on your waist and your hands clasped behind her neck, the redhead looked at you adoringly even though your body had a lot of alcohol scent

-"You're dancing a little crooked, don't trip..."-she whispered close to your lips and you laughed, your cheeks were red and that gave tenderness to your girlfriend

-"Si me caigo me re-cojes?"-You asked laughing a lot with mischief in your eyes, it was a joke that would make sense if your girlfriend understood Spanish a little more

-"Love, you know I don't understand much..."-she whispered, you had entered the next stage, filtering and speaking in your native language

-"Tienes unos ojos tan bellos, amo la manera en que la luz refleja en ellos, me hipnotiza. Creo que gasté toda mi suerte al conocerte. Quiero casarme contigo un día y que estes presente siempre en mi vida..."-You whispered over her lips smiling and she laughed

-"What?" - She looked at you confused

-"It means I love you" - You just commented and kissed her again.

After a while more dancing, the alcohol took more effect and you started to get more dizzy

-"Meeelsiishaaaa"-You screamed over the music and she stopped dancing to look at you-"I don't ffeel gu-uud"-One of the last stages, you started to slur your words and feel sick, if you kept going like this, you would vomit soon. Your girlfriend carefully guided you back to the table where Barb was and insisted that you drink water, which you did

-"Is she okay?" - Barbara asked and Mel nodded, caressing your back while you narrowed your eyes to try to focus andnot to see Barbara double.

-"Yeah, but I think it's time to go home... She it's a little bit dizzy" - Mel commented, and Barbara nodded. The redhead helped put on your jacket and she grabbed your waist to help you walk. Once you reached outside, Barbara and Gerald who had escorted you to the exit, said goodbye

-"Have a happpy new year!" -  Barbara's husband yelled and you opened your eyes wide trying to get back inside but Mel wouldn't let go

-"I have to eat my grapes! And have my wishes!" - You screamed nervously and Mel laughed hugging you

-"You already ate your grapes and made your wishes hours ago, it's been 4 hours since New Year's, don't you remember that I brought you your peeled grapes in a Tupperware? I gave them to you a while before we shouted new year together. You ate them under the table so that, as far as I understood, our love would continue to be strong"-Your wife spoke and vague memories came to your head and you nodded

-"Let's go home then..."-You whispered in her chest and she helped you to get in the car.

A few minutes later, the two of you were home, Mel helped you put on more comfortable clothes and climb into bed after a short bath. You immediately fell asleep when you closed your eyes so that the room wouldn't spin.

Mel left you a glass of water with a hangover pill for when you woke up and then climbed into bed and carefully hugged you protectively and kissed the crown of your head and then slept next to you. Going over and over in her head the only thing she had managed to understand about what you said in Spanish, "I wanna marry you". If only you had an idea that the redhead had an engagement ring hidden for you on her nightstand, Her New Year's resolution was to make you her wife.

[arrowfortea]

i really think sera is simultaneously fantastic and also a missed opportunity. solas in DA:I took ~7 rewrites, which is understandable since he's set up for like, Big Things. but i think about that a lot when i'm ~*~musing~*~ on what sera could've been.

sera is far and away the only character by bioware i'm similar to as a person IRL, her voice actress is FANTASTIC, i almost always have her in my party bc i love her, (my url is a sera quote!!), and still!!! she feels SO FLAT TO ME!!! and i CAN'T PUT MY FINGER ON IT!!!! this is going to be a very Vibes Based critique and i might pull up quotes etc for a post in future but i just need to. get it Out

maybe it's a "woman written by a man" issue. she feel so close to being Real and Relatable and then swings wide, it's so weird. i do think a deep part of it stems from the writers/narrative going "yeah she can really get on your nerves lol!" — for the most blatant example of this, see: the fact she's the only party member with a constant "get out of the inquisition" button on her dialogue wheel. i also feel this in how hard-line her opinions are, while at the same time she argues them, for the most part, from a place of vibes (like moi Right Now lmao) or shuts down the other side.

it reminds me of da2 where fenris is given time to Discourse with hawke about mages in the gallows, and mage companions in attendance will interject with like "yeah but. locking people up is bad" which YES! IT IS!!! 100% I AM ON YOUR SIDE but the writing gives fenris way more time to Outline his Facts and Logic so the mage companions look like they're just shutting him down in bad-faith.

and there's no real arc for her! her personal quest is about red jenny stuff and maybe working with a guy for the inquisition but then Not. (there is a point to be made about vivienne's personal quest similarly being Lacking in many people's opinion, but as this isn't a post abt her i'm not going to Delve, but i would be remiss not to mention it) yes we HEAR about her backstory but. then that's doneskies.

the romance is just having a good time (unless you're an elf who drank from the well in which case she dumps you which.. i both do and don't take issue with? it makes sense for her as a static character, but i don't WANT her to be static) — again this is where i start to chafe at my own rationale because.. do i want there to be more drama/conflict? yes. do i trust the existing writers to make the lesbian couple's drama not something trite or offensive? mmmmmm. mmmmm.

she has so many interesting aspects but they all feel like they got tacked on and then chucked out the window! the clearest "hey.. what's this meant to be" is how she seems fade-sensitive in banter with solas. i know this is used as evidence for "does she have some andruil in her", which i'm onboard with, but INGAME i'm sad the fade sensitivity seems solely relegated to the solas banters. like? did they just run out of stuff for them to talk about? 💀

her existentialism makes me WANT TO GNAW MY KEYBOARD it's SO EXCITING to see a character touch on existentialism the way she does; "The Nothing" WAS INSANE to see on her tombstone the first time round when i was expecting something juvenile. i knew what it meant immediately and i think it's so interesting; i'm really glad we get a talk with her afterwards abt it. do i also wish this existentialism more clearly permeated her characterisation ahhehehwhehahhe Yes

as for the Elfy issue: i'm not from any of the minorities that the writing for elves draws coding from, so. grain, salt. i don't think "i don't want to be seen as An Elf(TM)", or being not big on the dalish, needed to be handled in such a blatant "this is internalised racism i cannot talk you out of" way. again, fenris in da2 is a dick about the dalish, but he does have a personal relationship with his identity as an elf which feels authentic.

i also hate how shafted city elves got in DA:I so sera being from an alienage (when she was very young) but then that being breezed past makes me. sad whatever I KNOW SHE DOESN'T EVEN REMEMBER IT IT DOESN'T NEED TO BE A THING I JUST WANTED CITY ELVES SOMEWHEREEEE

i do love her journal though. that is top tier and i love it and 5 stars and whoever thought of that is amazing (probably her writer. sigh. credit sadly is due where credit is due /j)

anyway i should probably compile this into a better argued and evidenced post i just !!!!!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for exposing my sister-in-law's secret during a fight?

Ok, this one is going to need a bunch of context.

I (29F) started to date my fiance F (31M) when I was 26. While he is the sweetest person ever, his family is a bit difficult and it was hard for me to fit in. They are a very traditional family of Japanese descent, very rich too, and his mother MIL (60sF) had a dream of seeing all of her three sons married to other rich girls of Japanese descent. I am white and from very humble origins, so I was not very well accepted at first. The thing that bothered me the most was the constant comparisons to my brother in law BIL's (34M) wife SIL (33F), who is rich and of Japanese descent. I was deeply in love with F and decided to fight for my place in his family; I started to take Japanese classes and ended up really good at it, and I was also the one who took care of MIL after her appendicitis' surgery. She recognized my hard work and we became closer and closer, at the same time she realized SIL didn't make the same effort for her and the family as I do, and she started to be very vocal about how I was her favorite daughter in law and how SIL should do better and try to be more like me. Suddenly, the tables have turned and SIL was the one being compared to me, no the other way around.

Of course she didn't like that at all and started to antagonize me and criticize every small thing about me. She would complain my dog would bark too much (which she did, but SIL was a little mean about it), and when my dog died, she made a comment about how finally she wouldn't have to hear her barking anymore (that stung a lot since I loved my dog with all my heart and she was like a baby to me), she would also complain about my apartment every time she visited me, saying it was too cheap (as I said, I come from humble origins) and her newest topic of complaining are my earrings: I like to wear cute and funny earrings (only at work and family gatherings, I don't wear them at social events or anything like that) and she always talks about how I'm too old to wear them and how tacky it looks. F and I noticed she's been progressively meaner the closer we get to our wedding (three months from now) and think she's trying to scare me away before I become an official part of the family.

One last piece of context: some months ago, F told me in confidence about how 6 years ago SIL's brother and sister in law died in a car accident and left an orphaned boy of 4 years old. SIL was the little boy's only family, but she refused to take him in saying she already had too much work with her own son (who was also 4 at the time). That didn't go well with the family; MIL and my father in law (who was alive at the time) assured her they would help with the kid and she would have all the support, but she simply didn't want the boy, so he was sent to the system. That was something MIL never forgave her for, since family is everything to her, and it was something only MIL, BIL, SIL, F and his younger brother knew. He told me that in confidence and asked me to not tell anyone. I promised I wouldn't.

Now for the actual situation.

Our last family dinner was one of F's cousins' birthday, so all the extended family was around. No kidding, I think there were around 60 people there or more. SIL, once again, decided to mock me about my earrings (little cherry earrings, very cute) and talked again how I was to old to wear them, how they were kid earrings etc. I've been tolerating her bullshit for so long now and after her comments about my dog's death, I was more sensitive than usual, so I snapped back and said that it's not because she dresses herself like an old lady that I have to do the same. She got angry at that and a proper fight started; we saying worse and worse stuff to each other while everyone stopped to watch. It ended up with her mocking my upbringing and calling me a gold digger, accusing my of only being with F for his money. That really struck a nerve because I heard that before at the beginning of our relationship and it always hurt my feelings, since I genuinely love F. Before I could even think about it, I said: "At least I'm not a heartless bitch like you. How's your nephew doing, by the way? Oh, you have no idea, right? Since you put him in a fucking orphanage!"

She got speechless after that and left the place, went straight to her car with BIL and went home. I didn't hear from her or him since them. F is furious with me since he told me that in confidence and now all the extended family knows SIL's secret. MIL doesn't care at all; she never got over what SIL did to that little boy and it's been a while since SIL isn't in her best graces.

Now that I'm calmer I feel a little guilty for exposing SIL like that, but she was always so awful to me that I can't really feel that bad. Mostly, I feel bad for BIL, with who I always had a good relationship and even defended me back in the day when the family didn't accept me very well. Now he's not talking to me either and, as far as I know, he's also not talking to F.

So, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[briefhottubcoffee]

SxF RA Volume 1!

Thank you to @takeasecond for setting up this fun re-read of SpyxFamily in preparation of the anime’s season 3!! If you want to join us, please check it out!

I’m not going to lie I have um… kind of a hard time re-reading Volume 1 of the series. 😅 Particularly Chapter 1. I am very ✨sensitive✨ to the little moments where Anya frets over being sent back to the orphange or being abandoned again (and again and again and again.) And Twilight’s initial (somewhat!) callous thoughts of “right after this mission she’s going back to the orphanage” or “I picked the wrong kid” or “there are plenty of orphans, I can find another one” are really upsetting to me, especially when Anya herself immediately likes her Papa. The found family theme is my favorite part about SxF and the one thing I don’t like is how the adults are so set on it all being temporary, when all Anya, this 5 year old girl, wants in this world is a family who will love her forever. Anyway, all this to say, I struggled with this 😅 And I’m not doing very well personally right now, so apologies if this is not very well done… Lol! Anyway! Onwards!

There are several genres introduced/riffed on in volume 1 (comedy, spy-thriller, horror, slice-of-life, school age, and so on). Which stood out to you most on re-read? Is that different to your first read of the series? Are there any you want more of?

So I think when I initially read Volume 1, what stood out to me the most was the cool spy intrigue and thriller stuff. I also obviously really loved the slice of life, found family themes and I was immediately in love with Anya, like ride or die, if anything happens to her I will kill everyone in this room and then myself, kind of way (weren’t we all? 😅) I noticed more in the re-read just how dramatic the temporary found family stuff was for me, so I’d say the drama part of it stood out more. As well as the comedy! The very first spy mission we see is about a guy hiding his toupee, so we immediately are told not to take this whole spy business that seriously! In my re-read of Chapter 1, these two scenes in particular messed me up for a while.

Do you think the themes introduced in volume 1 have stayed the same throughout the series? How have they changed or evolved?

Yeah! The comedy and slice of life is more prevalent for me? But I think things are relatively the same. We’re used to the characters now of course, and they’re used to each other. Perhaps the feelings in the beginning feel more raw? I’m not sure.

SXF feels unique among other manga within the demographic. During the re-read, was there a moment in volume 1 that made you go, "Right, this is what SXF is about"?

I’d say any moment where we got some connection within the main family. Especially the Eden interview I think. These moments are still very impactful to me to this very day.

"Family" is a big aspect in SXF. As the titular family, what do you think the Forgers represent within the themes of SXF?

To me, the Forgers as a collective represent safety and security for three (eventually four) individuals who have never had that before. I think their little apartment is a place of warmth and welcome smiles, where you don’t want outside threats to touch you. Their daily life together, having meals together, going to work and school, coming together to have fun, going on ootings, bedtime stories, scheming about earning stellas, is the embodiment of “Slice of Life.” That’s the Forgers life together, and it’s mostly full of fun and adventure and humor. Ever since Anya cuddled up to Twilight at the end of Chapter 1, their family has been about that safe feeling of being close to someone you trust implicitly. (And that’s why it’s so jarring and upsetting to me when it gets snatched away by the temporary, but this is me being sad and negative.)

Many of the Forgers' interactions with each other and with other characters reveal important parts of their personalities and characterization. Is there a character-defining moment that feels extra special for you?

Probably the above, when Twilight loses it in the Eden interview. That is the pivotal moment for his mission where world peace hangs in the balance and he puts his family first for the very first time.

Again. Twilight puts a very important mission that involves the safety of thousands on the line because some dude insulted his wife and made his child cry. His wife and child he’s had for maybe two weeks. Crazy. I think that sums up his character arc.

How do you think each Forger's secret identity plays into their roles within the family? What do they set up and what do they say about their characters, themes, or plot?

Hmmmm… I’m not really sure! There’s a distance between all of them because of their secrets, right? It has an effect on everything! The moments they lie to each other are mostly comedic, and it helps to even the scales a little bit, Twilight’s lies are just as silly as Anya’s etc. Each of them believes their secret coming out will be the end of the Forger’s so it is extremely important to them all that the secrets remain secret. I think there’s a big tonal shift when the secrets are played more seriously, but Endo mostly keeps those moments comedic for a reason, for now.

Was there a character who you feel has changed the most since their first impression in volume 1?

Definitely Yor! She has changed so much since the beginning and I’m so proud of her. It’s easy to see! 🥹

Was there a character who you expected to see later on but didn't? Or someone you thought wasn't important but later was?

Nah! I could see maybe Edgar, but ultimately I never thought much of him.

Random final thoughts:

Yor is still very, very pretty. But damn, Twilight was beyond hot in the early days. Anya was so adorable it made my heart hurt. 😫 I seriously struggled to turn the page cuz I was squealing over her cuteness.

These scenes are so iconic. To this day!

[underweather-forecast]

Get To Know Ramona

Prelude…

I always forget that other people don’t really know anything about my characters. To remedy that, I’ve decided to start giving you guys a little information about each one when I post sneeze content of them.

Who is Ramona?

Ramona is one of my characters for a book/play/comic I’m working on. Within canon she’s married to Richard who, for a better lack of words, is sorta the worst version of a 50’s husband. Their marriage is built off a more toxic side of the ‘lavender marriage’. Rosa is a Mexican American writer (immigrated), who is slowly pushing her way into the writers room; currently is dominated by men. Ramona is very much a ‘no one can get in my way’ type of person. If Ramona strives for something she isn’t the type to remove herself from the topic despite its down sides. She’s passionate about what she does, and realistically she’s wonderful at her job despite what others may say.

Ramona in Relation To Snz…

Ramona is currently like one of my favorite characters to write snz stuff for when it comes to this group? If I were to describe her main situations I’d say she’s always catching a cold of some sort: if it’s too cold outside, if anyone around her is slightly contagious, if she’s touched something without properly sanitizing afterwards.

Ramona and Colds…

When a cold is coming on it is never hard for anyone to tell, Ramona’s nose is always the first thing to become very sensitive. Suddenly, she’s more prone to sneeze if the wind is too heavy outside or if a scent is too strong. She always gets very congested as the course of a cold goes on, her ability to catch her sneezes (which progressively begin to give her less build up as a cold worsens) becomes almost impossible to maintain.

Ramona typically sneezes in fits of 3, the first typical sounding a lot more like a half sneeze/ soft warning and the rest following being powerful loud spurts. Usually if she’s far into a cold her sneezes are a lot messier than not, and coughing tends to follow behind if not a lot of nose blowing. By the end of a cold the last symptom to leave her usually is congestion and her more aggravated form of sneezes. (Specifically in cases of a cold)

Ramona and Allergies

Most of the time if Ramona is sneezing it’s likely due to a cold, though in a slightly more rare instance dust and cat dander can really irritate her. Most of the time Ramona keeps a clean area, though if wandering into a friend’s undusted house it’s easy for her to quickly become a mess.

In regaurd to dust, Ramona is quick to dismiss her allergies even if they are becoming dauntingly clear. Ramona’s dust allergy is something that’s slow to ramp up but never has any soft progression when it comes to the volume of her sneezes. When dust is around Ramona sneezes in small bouts of 2 though each one is loud and powerful, usually without mess until she’s left the area. Once Ramona has left an area containing dust the runny nose and congestion takes place afterwards and the rest of the day is simply miserable being followed by occasional build ups but a lot of false alarms.

In regard to cat dander, Ramona body handles it terribly. Ramona is usually well about avoiding them, she knows how badly they set her off. Stepping foot into a house that has just one cat who’s been pushed into a separate room, still does not save her from a constant trigger. Ramona’s usually tell tale sign of her allergy beginning to ramp up is the fact her nose becomes really itchy. Unlike the other circumstances with her cat allergy she’s always going to have really long build ups that eventually, (after many terribly false alarms) will thrown here into a rapid fit of about 6 sneezes at a time (can expand into more if exposure is longer).

Going home after being exposed to this allergy specifically will lead to about the opposite of her dust allergy, congestion follows though the false alarms she’d usually have slow and she starts to have closer together fits for the rest of the day.

Snzfucker or Not?

Ramona would not be considered a Snzfucker though she definitely feels oddly ‘good’ after a long sneezing fit. She’d never really admit it but whenever she has one she always finds herself a little ‘hot and bothered’ by the situation and will usually seek some forms of relief. She’s never thought of it as a kink of hers but realistically once her girlfriend finds out about the whole ‘need for relief thing’ she definitely starts to take advantage of Ramona’s sensitive nose.

Ramona is a switch within her relationship though most times if she’s going to be taking the top she never tends to purposely induce/ indulge herself. When she’s not on the top her girlfriend (Rosa) finds it fun to induce her as much as she possibly can, usually leading to a pretty bad cycle of Ramona wanting more. (Silly lesbians <3)

Endpoint…

Teehee thank you for reading about Ramona, I hope you enjoyed learning a little more about her via this side of content. She’s very fun but I have a lot more for you guys later…

Please only reposts to Kink Blogs relating to Snz, don’t repost to vanilla accounts or SFW accounts please!

[nekrosdolly]

Wesker surviving RE5. Taking a good while to recover. When he final tracks Chris many years later he sees a young woman with Chris. Obviously not Chris' wife.

Chris got a daughter. And Wesker knows how to truely break him now.

Poor girl, she gets hit on by a super hot dude not knowing that he is her dads biggest enemy

listen... this would go fucking crazy... 18+

cw; afab!reader, creep!wesker, reader is 21-ish and wesker is... *gulps*... 61, dad!chris isn't the best dad, i'm projecting big time with this one guys sorry, takes place circa re8, reader is in college, no use of y/n, chris is the kind of alcoholic dad that you don't want your boyfriend to meet because you are, in fact, embarrassed of him, wesker drives a lincoln mkz zephyr.

you look like your dad but prettier. softer, sweeter features than your father's own. your eyes are paralyzingly innocent, and he can't help himself when he lays eyes on you. you're younger than albert by a concerning amount of years, but thanks to your dad's unintentional neglect during your childhood, you've got some issues.

your father never told you about wesker- or anything relating to his line of work. how foolish of chris to not take such precautions with his daughter. you never bothered to ask, either, as you felt some sort of resentment towards your dad in your teenage years. everything he did pissed you off, especially when he was trying to bond. so of course you decided to date someone just as old, if not older than your dad, just to piss him off in return.

that's when you stumbled across wesker. he was handsome for his age, though he looks much younger and you're not sure why. the sunglasses thing confused you, though he'd told you once when you had first started talking that he has light-sensitive eyes. you, being so trusting of this nice, older man who made you feel wanted, believed him and every little thing he ever told you. he'd make you feel so warm inside, and it didn't take long for you to fall for him.

he'd made a show of falling for you, too, to keep you under his thumb. you were the type to flee at the first sign of abandonment; he couldn't have that.

your dad was shocked when you told him you'd found a boyfriend. thanks to your strained relationship, you'd hardly talked to him after leaving for college, which he blamed himself for. it had only worsened between the two of you after your mother left.

and now, at dinner, your dad thinks it's the greatest idea in the world talk about your beloved.

"so," your father starts as he saws through thick-cut steak with a serrated knife, cutting you off a piece, "this boyfriend of yours, when am i meeting him?"

"you want to meet my boyfriend?" you cock an eyebrow at your father, though he doesn't meet your gaze. his own is fixed to the bit of steak he's setting on your plate beside some vegetables.

"well, yeah. must be pretty serious if you told me about him." chris finally looks at you, setting his silverware down. you swallow.

"i don't know, dad."

"what, are you embarrassed of me?"

"i didn't say that, don't put words in my mouth." you stuff a piece of sauteed cauliflower in your mouth as chris sighs inwardly. for the next ten minutes, there's no sound except silverware clinking against your plates and your father's jaw popping here and there.

neither of you can take much more of the awkward silence.

chris clears his throat and leans back in his chair, "listen, i just want to make sure you're dating a good guy, okay?"

"yeah, sure." the bitterness and slight annoyance in your voice is hard to hide. you don't bother.

"is that a crime? wanting to look out for my kid?" he crosses his arms over his chest, getting a little defensive.

"don't you think it's a little late to play dad of the year? i'm not a child, i don't need you to look out for me."

"i know you're not a child-"

"then just stop." you're standing up from your chair, "stop trying to be a bigger part of my life. stop acting like you care. stop."

"fine, you want to be an ungrateful brat?" your dad stands up too, "then get out. take your shit and leave, or shut the hell up."

you don't really have anywhere else to go, so you slink back into your chair and reluctantly finish your food. with all the money your dad gets from his job, he's paying your tuition.

your dad downs the whiskey in his glass and gathers his dishes, leaving you to sit in silence at the dinner table.

-

your father lets the boyfriend thing go until you bring it up to him again, this time on your own.

when you bring it up to albert, he's delighted.

"i'd be honored," he tells you as he leans down to kiss your cheek, he's confident about this, which puts you at ease because you know your father isn't going to take this very well.

-

you're dressed your best, as is albert, who's got his hand on your lower back protectively. he can sense your nerves- uroboros didn't completely burn out of his system- as if they were his own, and he kisses your head as you unlock the front door. based on the black jeep in the driveway, beside albert's zephyr, your father is home. you open the door, and in a flash, you're pushed out of the way.

you didn't expect your father to have a loaded gun aimed at your boyfriend so quickly, if at all. a deep laugh sounds from albert.

"oh, chris..."