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madridnoora · 4 months ago

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౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ Forbidden - Halloween

Seventh instalment of the forbidden au - lsu!joe x oc

Full AU masterlist here -> ౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ Forbidden

Summary: Halloween, the biggest night of the year in the college calendar, hits LSU's campus in the form of a night of partying at the seven deadly fraternities.

⋆｡˚ word count: 14.0k

18+ Content. MDNI :). Mentions of drinking, drug use, smoking and sex. ⋆｡˚

Makeup scattered across the floor of the small dorm room. The four of them, Carson, Daisy, Cassie and Bella, were all cramped inside of it as they got ready for the social event of the year.

A playlist of pop princesses, and early 2000's classics sounded out through Carson's beat up speaker. Wine glasses filled with cheap spirits and fruit flavoured mixer sat beside each one of them as the pre-game was well underway. Detailed costumes carefully laid out on the beds in anticipation of being worn. They had spent the whole year waiting for this night to come back around, and here it was staring at them in the face.

Daisy brushed bronzer across her sculpted cheekbones, Cassie dusted glitter across her eyelids delicately, Bella created a black pointed wing from the corners of her eyes and Carson concealed his under eyes. They had been going at it for almost an hour, intense and intricate details of their halloween makeup mixed with juicy conversation. Who was planning on hooking up? Who would get the most drunk? Which fraternity would be throwing the best party? All questions which burned into the mind of every college student across the country at eight pm on Halloween night.

'You meeting up with Joe?' Carson asked as he glanced over the Daisy, looking away from his reflection in the hand held mirror for only a passing second.

'Nope' Daisy shook her head, taking a break from applying her smokey brown eye shadow.

'Why not?' Cassie sung out, a brush painted with peach blush swiping at the apples of her cheeks.

'It's never a planned thing' Daisy sighed, 'It just happens, maybe we will see him and something will happen, but maybe it won't' She tried to explain to them the concept of her and Joe. She tried to get it across that they didn't text each other to schedule plans, they would just text out of the blue and hook up then play the rest of the day by ear. Everything between them was built upon spontaneous fleeting emotion.

'Would you be upset? If it didn't happen, I mean' Cassie's words come out her pale pink lips hesitantly. She was reluctant to ask, not knowing if the response would be short-tempered and brisk.

'No, we're not a thing' Daisy chuckled with a subtle shake of her head.

'Ok' Cassie said in a cheery tone, her shoulders lifting and her head cocking to the the side in a cute manner.

Daisy sat in a silent confusion at the question that appeared seemingly from hollow shadows. Cassie asking a question she had never cared to ponder. Sure, seeing Joe with Abby was a strange sensation, one that tingled up her spine and danced across her tender skin -- goosebumps rippling across the surface. Upset wasn't the emotion she felt though. She couldn't describe the emotion she felt, it was a strange one. Not jealousy, not sorrow and not betrayal but something. Would she feel it again tonight? Probably.

Halloween was the one night of the year where anything could happen. One night stands, mortifying mistakes, blacked out behaviour and dancing with the devil -- sometimes in the literal sense, it was a pretty popular costume. Daisy didn't doubt for a second that Joe would be hunting tonight. That's what the boys called it, she had heard Ja'marr and Justin say it to each other countless times. She hated the term, it made women feel like they were nothing but meat to be slaughtered. Hearts to drain cold. Tonight, Joe may sink his teeth into fresh meat, and Daisy would sit on the side like chopped liver.

The feeling, the one she couldn't place, stirred in her stomach alongside the alcohol. A small gurgle.

This evening on greek row, party goers were either going to hunt or be hunted. An evening of primal sport. Daisy just had to decide what way she was playing. Should she sink her teeth into someone new, did she wait from someone to sink her teeth into her or did she chase a forbidden third option and bite the hanging fruit in the Garden of Eden?

A thoughtful sigh left her pouted lips as she went back to completing the final touches of her makeup. Everyone else in the narrow dorm room knew their plan for the evening.

Cassie would let the guys come to her. She wasn't on the hunt for a man of her own, not since her ex boyfriend had cheated on her. She would indulge in the thrilling entertainment, only if he looked handsome enough. She was picky like that, never settling for less than what she believed she deserved even if it would only last through a drunken night.

Bella was on the prowl. Her pointed claws would sink into the man or woman she picked out of the seven deadly fraternities they would be visiting this evening. A lustful desire burning within her, one she had to fulfil with playfully sexy encounters.

Carson would take the night slow, open to both hunting and being hunted. Although, he imagined the chances of him finding another homosexual man in the fraternities of Louisiana state university could be more difficult than in New York. However, never say never. His main priority was just being allowed entry into the fraternities and having a amusing night beside his girls. Everything else would just be an added bonus.

Daisy still toyed at what to do. Battling thoughts in her brain. An angel on one shoulder, while lucifer sat perched on her other.

-౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ -

Humble hip hop tunes thumped through the speakers of the fraternity as the boys sprawled across the stained brown couches. Liquor bottles being passed around as they took heavy swigs. A separate pre-game taking place across campus, yet the thoughts between them were eerily similar.

What would his own plan for the evening be?

Joe bobbed his head to the beat of the song as he thought about the options he had tonight. A roster of women strong in his mind. Blondes, brunettes, thick, thin and everything in between. All the women he could want only hours away from his grasp. A world full of scantily clad women in seductive costumes at his fingertips.

'I hooked up three girls in one night last year' The voice of one of his frat brothers sounded out into the room. A sleazy brag that Joe doubted was true. The guy was too ugly and too unimportant to have three women begging on their knees for him. Joe could have three women, if he wanted them, but he didn't.

As of the last two months, he was a one woman man -- well, only if you were only classing physical intimacy. He had been chatting with other women through direct messaging and cringey dating apps, and an odd kiss of another at the early parties before the routine between him and Daisy had settled into place. His options were still open, but Daisy was always the number one pick. The simplest one. The only girl he could guarantee wouldn't start spam calling him and asking him the dreaded 'what are we?' question.

A shot burned through his chest as he tossed his head back. A clenched jaw and eyes screwed shut as his body rejected the sour taste.

Daisy. Daisy. Daisy.

Always top of his current roster. The star player on his field. The star receiver to be specific and crude. That was no different tonight. He had spent the whole day wondering what her costume would be, how tight the top and how short the skirt. Contact between them always minimal when sex wasn't the focus of the conversation. He hadn't heard from her since she left his place two nights ago, but it wasn't like he had reached out either. Crossing paths tonight wasn't a guarantee, that would come down to the twisted will of the universe.

Halloween was set out differently to most places at Louisiana State.

Seven Deadly Fraternities lined the row.

Each house would throw their own rager, going to every length to make sure that their party would be the most memorable of the night. Everyone would come to frat row, but not everyone would be allowed entry into the houses. As disgusting as the tradition was, it was in fact that -- tradition. A group of full guys? You're not getting in unless you're boys with the fraternities members. A group of average looking women? You're not getting in either, not unless you're bringing alcohol or some other substance that could be inhaled or snorted. The ratio had to be perfect, more women than men. Priority going to the brotherhood. A primal and patriarchal festival, one that made the stomach of any moral person turn. Fraternity brothers and college football players were anything but moral people.

Joe had a hand in the organisation of his fraternities party, as did most upperclassman, but the responsibility of keeping the party running fell to the freshman and some sophomore. Upperclassman got to roam to other parties. Joe, Ja'marr and Justin got to take their hunting outdoors.

Daisy would get in every party that she wanted too. Joe knew that.

She was a known character across campus, so he had come to find out in subtle ways. Like when he overheard some freshman water boys at training whispering between each other, talking about how they had seen her on the Jumbotron at the homecoming game. Boyish talk about the things they wanted to do with her, and how they always looked for her pretty face around campus. Or more boldy was the incident with the ruby red haired hookup of Ja'marr. She knew her full name and what she looked like. Joe had asked Ja'marr how the girl knew her when he had a second alone with him.

'Most sophomore girls know miss texas' Ja'marr response had been short and mysterious. Almost like a riddle, like he knew things about Daisy that Joe didn't. Joe had tried to press him for more information but Ja'marr didn't give a word more. He liked watching Joe shift and squirm uncomfortably too much.

Another toss of the head followed by a scorching trickle down his toned chest brought him back to the room.

The night ahead was unplanned potential.

Halloween would be built upon spontaneous acts and fleeting yet forceful emotions.

-౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ -

Blinding back camera lights flashed brightly in the low lit dorm room. Carson and the girls were now all ready to head out the door and too the packed street of frat row. Only a few picture stood between them and the dark sultry night.

They had all gone as animals. A matching group, but still individual.

Cassie was a sweet white lamb. Bella was a seductive black cat. Carson was a mighty grey wolf.

Daisy was a cute brown bear cub. Fluffy fur ears sat on top of her bouncy chestnut hair, and matching wrist cuffs wrapped around her wrists as a subtle nod to paws. A pleated chocolate brown faux leather miniskirt on her waist and some platform dr.Martens on her feet. White socks with a innocent lace thrill poking out. The top was out there. More skin than she ever usually cared for showing.

'If you can't wear it on Halloween, you can't wear it anywhere' Bella had said as she persuaded her to make the more scandalous choice. Carson had drummed out cheers of passionate agreement, and it was hard to argue with a fashion student's opinion.

It was corset like, a rich brown leather material. The difference being the lace to cinch it closer were in the front rather than the back, and the size was pushing the limit of too small. Her usually modest breasts were now pushed together tightly and felt like they were hoisted so high that her chin may touch them. The lace leaving a gap between so most her toned stomach was bare. When she looked at herself in the mirror, she felt nervous. Never in her life had she worn something so tempting and provocative. Last halloween, she wasn't single and therefore had to suffer through dressing up in a boring full covering costumer. She couldn't tell if the garment made her feel confident or shy.

Only time would tell.

-౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ -

Fraternity row buzzed with activity, the steady hum of chatter blended with the rhythmic clatter of footsteps and the intense booming of heavy bass filled music. People weaved through the crowds around them as they stared down at the street, both nerves and excitement swirling through there liquor lined stomachs.

Everyone had dressed for the night's occasion. Cliques of women in tight skirts, sultry costumes and high heels moved around arm in arm as they made sure to avoid tripping over the uneven and litter filled ground. Groups of boys stalked the paths with flushed cheeks and alcohol fuelled energy. The open air around was electric. Laughter, screams and cheers already echoing across campus.

Every house had made the effort with decoration, a spooky spectacle out in full force. Cobwebs clung to front porches, draped over white railings and spilling down from windows. Dancing orange lights set the tone of the houses. Carved pumpkins lined the doorsteps, some menacing faces while others had a softer and more feminine touch. Skeleton bones hung from large trees in the front yards, while white fairy lights spiralled over leafless branches. Fake gravestones in the front yard with stupid names etched into them. The whole row had come together in Halloween spirit, a blend of fun and wholesome fright perfectly combining to set the tone for the night ahead.

‘Which house first?’ Bella asked as she tried to gage the opinion of the group.

Everyone takes a different approach on Halloween night, some people start from the house furthest away and then work there way to the beginning. Others take a random order, going off vibe rather than organisation. Daisy knew one thing — she wanted Joe’s to be the last one.

‘That one’ A pointed index finger picked one of the seven deadly fraternities, and off the four of them went. Arms looped in each others. They would take the random approach tonight, and play off which house looked the most lively and vibrant.

Walking up to the fraternity, the four of them could tell the energy inside was buzzing. The front porch was a blur of people, the thumping bass of the music pulsed from within. Party goers spilled out onto the front lawn as did red solo cups. The sickly smell of beer floating around in the air. Groups smoked joints while others smoked cigarettes. The smell of both enough the lightly burn nostrils.

The four of them weaved there way to the front of the queue of people waiting to get in, Bella led the way. Groans from boys and girls in the line about cutting rang out but they didn't care. Most of them wouldn't get into the fraternity anyway.

The doorman was a smiling fraternity brother, dressed up as an actual security guard with some fake blood splashed down the side of his face. When he saw the the three girls his eyes sparkled.

'Yeah, you three in. Wolf guy has to stay outside' The cocky fraternity brother said as he chewed on some gum. The three girls looked between each other. They had been expecting this, the frat bros always wanted to keep other boys out of there places. They were like a weird cult, if you weren't apart of greek life or a woman you weren't getting in.

'Either he comes in or we don't' Daisy said, folding her arms over her torso allowing her boobs to somehow get pushed up even more. The doorman debated what to do in his mind, but his debate is cut short. Another fraternity brother, one more senior to him, comes out behind him. A bottle of corona firmly gripped in his hand.

'Let em' in' He instructs. His eyes looking over all three of the girls and then giving a friendly nod to Carson.

'Thank you, Malik' Cassie's sweet words sound out, and it's now understood that the pair are familiar with one another. The rest of the group don't question how, perhaps they were just friends from a class or maybe he was an old hookup.

Either way, they were into the first house of the night.

-౨⋆｡˚ House One ⋆｡˚ৎ -

Inside, the house was expectedly packed. The sweet smell of cheap cologne mixed with the slight tang of sweat. The music was louder too, a mix of classic chart toppers and old-school bangers. A full crowd dancing away in the living room. In the kitchen, people huddled around the counter, grabbing the spooky themed snacks or most importantly their drinks. This fraternity had pulled out all the stops to make the night a halloween themed one. Orange and black banners were hanging from every surface they possible could, cobwebs sprawled all over. They had even gone as far as too make sure all the alcohol was coloured red to make it look like blood. It was kind of cute to imagine the characteristically asshole boys coming together to do Halloween decorations.

Daisy and the group got their drinks first. This would be the house where most of the active drinking would take place. This was the house where they allowed themselves to be gluttonous -- filling their stomachs with cheap liquor and some light snacks as to prepare for the other six they would be visiting. They didn't plan on staying here long, just long enough to get themselves tipsy. Most other people seemed to have the same idea, by one am this house would have been ransacked and they doubted that many people would be inside it. Everyone would have moved on to somewhere else.

After around forty five minutes at house one, they felt overly satiated. They indulged heavily in the drinks laid out on the kitchen table, and partook is some sleazy dancing to loosen themselves up.

Then it was time to leave to house number two.

-౨⋆｡˚ House Two ⋆｡˚ৎ -

The second place was a madhouse. The music bared so loudly that it felt like the wall could collapse at any moment, the floor beneath shaking as the heavy bass reverberated through every room. The air was thick with the smell of vapes, weed and pungent alcohol. The overwhelming noise of bottles clinking, shouting and laughter created an atmosphere which was almost dizzying.

In the living room, people were packed in like sardines. The floor was sticky from spilt drinks and a constant buzz of voices sounded out as peoples bodies swayed to the heavy rap beats. Some were grinding while others jumped up and down with reckless abandon. A live DJ was in the centre of the room, propped up on some sort of platform. The chaos was contagious, and everyone was getting pulled into it -- even Joe.

The bass from the music vibrated through him as he stood at the edge of the crazy dance floor, but he kept his focus on the sorority girl in front of him. Her name was Evelyn. Joe had hooked up with her before, in fact he had hooked up with her three times. The dreaded number he never passed because it gave all girls except Daisy the impression that he wanted something serious with them. The impression that he they actually meant something to him. Evelyn was a nice girl, long honey blonde hair and sparkling brown eyes. She stood out in a sea of people, and that's what made her catch Joe's attention again tonight. She leaned into him slightly as she payed attention to every flirtatious word that slipped from his tongue effortlessly. Her soft laughter was a contrast to the thumping rhythm that surrounded them. Joe would lean in also as he tried to hear every sweet nothing she spoke, a crooked but arrogant grin across his flushed face.

She was dressed as a 'slutty' nurse. A tight white uniform which left little to the imagination, but Joe didn't have to imagine what he had already seen and touched three times. Fake blood dripped down her cleavage. Red lipstick decorated her kissable lips. Evelyn was a dangerous but enticing sight. One that was so deeply tempting, the only girl he had seen that had caught his eye. Evelyn had been the top of his roster up until they slept together for the last time, then she went to the bottom. All contact cut as Joe didn't want to risk the complications that could come with her. That had been a couple days before he slept with Daisy for the first time, the afternoon after she had sat down at the picnic bench with them. Seeing Evelyn now put her back at the top, as he was remembering just why he began sleeping with her in the first place.

Evelyn's soft hands rubbed on his bare bicep, a lazy flirting. The tension between them grew, playful and charged. They unknowingly inched closer to each other, and Joe knew the night could turn dark from here on out.

'I heard you're seeing someone' Evelyn pried at Joe for information.

'You heard wrong' Joe's quick to stop the rumour before it can spread more.

'So, if I mention Daisy Moore that means nothing to you' Her name almost stings Joe as he hears it fall from a past flames lips. Rule number two was so far gone, it was an open secret on campus at this point. That wasn't what Daisy wanted, Joe knew that, she didn't want to be only attached to him. Joe didn't really care if people knew he was hooking up with her or not, he did care if women on campus thought he was a taken man.

'It means nothing' Joe confirms to Evelyn, who nods her head with a curled lip. She was happy to know that tonight he was free man, one that she could sink her teeth into. Joe take a swig of his cheap beer. His stomach flipped at the words that left his mouth, a guilty feeling creeping up his spine. His moral compass ticking away inside his chest. He brushed it off and continued flirting with the familiar blonde in front of him.

The kitchen buzzed with laughter, and clinking glasses as a variety of costume covered people would weave there way in and out like flowing water. A red solo cup filled with vodka and lemonade was clung tightly between her fingers as she leaned against the counter. Her focus wasn't on anyone but him. Daisy's eyes focussed on Joe casually leaning into the blonde at the corner of the dance floor, with a grin she knew all too well. It was the grin Joe pulled when he was trying to charm someone. Her stomach twisted in a way she didn't acknowledge. An emotion she repressed because she knew she shouldn't feel it.

The honey blonde woman was laughing, tossing her long hair over her shoulder as she flirted back. Daisy could tell she loved the attention the quarterback was giving her. She watched them for a few moments longer -- more heavy gulp of her strong liquor funelling down her chest with a light burn. There was something about the way Joe tilted his head, the playful glint in his eyes -- it was all too familiar. She could tell there was a chemistry between them, the way they both instinctively leaned in, the way her finger brushed lightly and teasingly against his bare biceps.

Daisy couldn't help but scoff at his costume. A prisoner. The orange jumpsuit tied at his waist, a bloody wife beater on his top half. A casual backwards hat on his head, like he couldn't put the effort in to do he hair. Oh so Mr. Nonchalant. Daisy took another slow sip from her cup.

Her heart thudded in her chest as she watched Joe laugh -- too loud, too easily. Something twisted at her stomach, something like envy. He was leaning in too close now, too lost in the attention of another to notice Daisy's presence. Daisy hadn't been expecting to run into him so soon, but when Justin called out there names as they walked into the house, she knew Joe would be slithering around the room somewhere.

Daisy downed the last of her drink, pushing herself of the counter.

'You know that girl?' Daisy couldn't resist asking Justin about the blonde capturing all of Joe's attention.

'Uh, Evelyn something. Joe and her hooked up a few times before your whole thing' Justin spilled the information hesitantly. He didn't know how Daisy was going to react and he didn't want a mess on his hands.

'Nice' Daisy quipped through tight lips. The whole thing felt anything but nice. Her eyes glossed with alcohol fuelled emotion. She wanted attention, attention from someone. She wanted to feel the way Evelyn was feeling.

She topped up her drink and headed off into the backyard. An almost separate party was taking place out there and she wanted to be involved.

Cassie, Bella and Carson noticed, quickly following her outside. Justin and Ja'marr decided they would as well. No women inside were appealing to their appetites, so they didn't have much to lose.

The backyard of the frat hours was a world of it's own beneath the stars. The flickering glow of string lights above mixed with the bright flashes of purple, green and orange LED lights. The late October night was still warm, but only from the volume of people who scattered the yard. Fog machines pumped out a creepy low mist that swirled across the grass. The scene was almost otherworldly. A hired DJ was playing house and techno tunes in a skeleton costume. People in all sorts of costumes bounced up and down.

Joe and Evelyn had moved close the door of the backyard, standing beside each other in the kitchen. They had come only for a top up of their drinks, but the small conversations of other people in the kitchen take control of Joe's attention. At first when the excitable boys huddled together, he hadn't though much of it -- but then he heard them say her name.

One of the guys was giddy with a cheesy smile, speaking a little too loudly about her to his friends. 'Did you guys see Daisy Moore out there?' he asked, his voice dripping with a shocked tone, like he had seen something so unbelievable.

'She's so fine.' Another one agreed. 'She's clearly the move tonight' He continued. Joe's eyes glanced over to them as he tried not to let Evelyn see. His jaw lightly clenching as the words flowing from the boys mouths. They were suggesting that Daisy was the easy choice for hooking up tonight, like any of them could hook up with her. Maybe in their dreams.

'Bro' One of the guys friends is struggling to keep it together as he laughed at his friends words. 'Daisy's last boyfriend is one of the best receiver's in college football, she's not touching you' Joe smirked as he heard the words, at least one of the guys in the huddle had some sense.

'When she looks that good, I have to try' Joe's smirk drops. The words cut through him like ice, and he could feel his heart rate spike. He grips his drink tighter, fingers tapping on it as he tried to keep his cool. He couldn't go up to them an cause a scene -- that would be social suicide for him and so embarrassing for Daisy. The idea of not only these guys but others trying to flirt with her made his stomach rattle in a way he wasn't expecting. He repressed it. Daisy was just someone he had fun with, a casual thing. Nothing serious. But hearing random dudes talk about her made him feel something he shouldn't in his chest -- a mix of irritation and protectiveness.

He hated the way they seemed to think they all had a chance with her, that she was just someone that could scoop up and have a shot with. She shouldn't be spoken about like that, like how Joe and his friends spoke about other women. Joe gulped at his own realisation. He had to find her.

Daisy was here, somewhere, and according to the random strangers she looked sensational. The not knowing what her costume was or how she was dressed was subtly killing Joe. Other guys eyes had been able to trace her stunning body tonight but his hadn't. Envy banged in his stomach. He had to see her, see if she was really looking as impressive as the boys were saying.

Evelyn had noticed the shift in his demeanour as he heard Daisy's name. He made it pretty obvious it was more than nothing between them, but she didn't think Joe realised that yet. She grabbed Joe's hand and pulled him out into the backyard, she wanted him for herself tonight. Some fun between old friends.

The cold air hit Joe's face.

They made there way to the crowded dance floor, Joe still being strung along by the delicate hand of Evelyn. Joe never usually danced but tonight was the exception.

The music was loud, a classic house remix of Memories by Kid Cudi thumped through the speakers. His hand spread across her waist, she was a little tipsy and her feet stumbled slightly as they swayed in the bustling crowd. The flashing lights bounced off their faces. Evelyn was an easy girl to be around -- fun, carefree and that was why he was drawn to her in the first place. Joe couldn't help but find the dancing between them enjoyable, her body close to his and movements in time with the song.

He glanced around the decorated backyard. Eye's open to see if he could spot her. His hands still remained on the hips of Evelyn, but his mind was elsewhere. Evelyn could tell, so she upped the sexual nature of her dancing. Her waist whined more, her ass pushed further into the material of his orange jumpsuit. Joe focussed on her once again, but only for a fleeting second because he caught something in the corner of his eye.

Justin and Ja'marr, both dressed up in the same orange jumpsuits as him. He scans the people around them, each face becoming more familiar. Carson, then Cassie, then Bella and then her.

She's not alone.

Daisy is laughing, her hair is bouncing with each movement as she dances with another guy, one that he doesn't recognise. He takes notice of the fluffy bear ears sitting on her head, a hint of her costume. He can't get a good look at her costume as strobe light and a flowing crowd obstruct his vision, but he can tell the skirt is short and the top is figure hugging.

The guy she was dancing with was taller, more muscular than the usual guys at frat parties. His hands were on her hips in a way that was almost knowing. Joe could sense a familiarity between them and that made him feel uneasy. Her smile was bright and wide, blissfully unaware that Joe was shooting daggers her way. Daisy was looking at the mysterious guy in a flirtatious manner, her eyes shining with a glint that Joe knew all too well. The way she was with this guy was different than she had been with Daniel. Joe could sense it. An untouchable itch in his stomach.

Joe tried to maintain his dancing with Evelyn, not alerting her to the fact his eyes were elsewhere but his movements were beginning to slow. His eyes couldn't shake Daisy, he watched on as she was spun away from the guy and then brought back into his arms. Daisy was so lost in his embrace, lost in the music bouncing in the air around them. Why should it matter to me? Joe though, trying to shake the envy that bubbled within him. Seeing Daisy so relaxed and at ease in the grip of another man was making him churn, and he couldn't ignore it.

He just needed to enjoy the company of the girl in front of him, enjoy the night. He stole one more glance at Daisy, her hand was around the neck of the mystery guy and his hand was resting on her ass. His jaw clenched. Then, Joe forced himself back to Evelyn. He moved closer, a forced grin plastering his face.

-౨⋆｡˚ House Three ⋆｡˚ৎ -

The Halloween festivities carried on into the third house. This place was smaller than the other houses, a more intimate rager than the one at house two had been. They weren't sure how much time they would spend at this place, but it would be enough time to tick it off the list of the seven deadly fraternities.

Joe and Evelyn stood close beside a beer pong table, a game set up but yet to be played. He knew Daisy was around here somewhere with the guy she was choosing to spend her night with, he had watched them leave. He had followed them into this house without her noticing, he just told Evelyn that it was because Justin and Ja'marr were heading here also. The excuse seemed to work, because they were here now.

Daisy saw Joe and his little blonde piece as she exited the bathroom. This had to be some sick joke the universe was playing on her. How was it out of all the houses he was at the same place she was? She was just thankful she had found Duke in the crowded backyard of House Two. Duke was the guy after Lucas and before Joe. The rebound. He was a super nice guy, charismatic, handsome, charming, the list went on. He played on the LSU basketball team, not that Daisy really cared. He wasn't a particularly special player, just average. He wouldn't make the NBA or anything like that.

Duke was a Daisy's much needed relief tonight. That was his purpose, and the reason she had drunkenly been clinging to him since she saw him. Duke went along with it, he wasn't going to turn down a woman as attractive as Daisy.

When Daisy's eye scanned to the surrounding around Joe, a plan popped into her head. She grabbed onto Duke's hand and led him over to -- a beer pong table.

Boldness swirled around her, clearly the costume made her feel confident rather than shy. That and the vodka cranberries lingering in her system.

'You guys want a game?' The voice he knew so well, pulled Joe from the sultry conversation he was having with Evelyn. They both turn their heads and see Daisy pointing to the beer pong table. The mystery guy stood at the end of the table, waiting to start.

For the first time tonight, Joe truly saw Daisy. Under yellow string lights with a warm glow bouncing from her smooth skin. He gulped. He knew why she was topic of conversation. The corset top was a flattering one, her breasts pushed up so high on her chest. She was a sexy bear cub. Joe wasn't even aware such a costume existed, but he liked it on her. A little cub. It was a fitting animal for her.

'Sure' Evelyn's voice is sweet like honey, a tight grin on her face. One she doesn't mean, and Daisy can tell. A tension forms thickly between the girls and in the air around the situation almost instantly. Daisy had asked Joe, not the woman beside him. Daisy pasted a fake smile on her own face, not wanting to come across bitchy or rude.

Rumours spread throughout the more intimate party about the match up that was happening in the dining room of the fraternity. Best quarterback in college football against average college basketball player. A match up for the ages. Of course, the majority wouldn't know that this was also an intense contest between a girl and the boy she casually slept with multiple times a week. Daisy and Duke against Joe and Evelyn.

Which couple would come out on top? and whose pride would stay intact?

The match up caused a crowd to form around the table, all eyes intensely following the ball as it got tossed from each end of the table.

Duke threw first. The ping pong ball landed perfectly in a solo cup of beer. Daisy cheered offering her teammate a tight hug. Joe watched her do it, her hair falling messily around her joy flushed face. Her small hands gripping onto the mystery guys biceps as she celebrated his below average shot that was lucky to have even hit the solo cup.

Justin, Bella and Carson stood behind Daisy and Duke. They were all rooting for them two to win tonight. Ja'marr and Cassie were standing off to the side from Joe and Evelyn. Ja'marr had to side with his best friend, and he feared the repercussions if he picked Daisy over him. Cassie, always sweet and gracious, decided to even up the numbers and didn't want Ja'marr to have to go alone.

Joe's turn came next, his eyes were stern with concentration and competitiveness. He had too much pride on the line to lose this drunken game, especially when the crowd around them was beginning to swell. He glanced at Daisy briefly before he took his shot, even in the dim light he could catch the devilish glint in her eye. A glint of something more -- something deep routed and charged, something mischievous. He let the ball fly from his hand. Touchdown. The ping pong ball sinks into the liquid with a light splash.

Evelyn squeals from beside him in joy, her hands clapping quickly. Joe gives her a hug of his own, but his eyes remain on Daisy. He watches as the mischievous glint in her eye falters ever so slightly, a mask slipping and revealing a more sinister emotion beneath it.

Daisy stepped up to take a shot, her playful energy lighting up the room around her. She was drunk, Joe knew a drunk Daisy well. She raised her arms to the crown confidently, invoking cheers from around as she readied her arm to take a shot. Joe knew she had no chance of making it, even if she was sober she wouldn't have a good chance of making it. She didn't give off the vibe that she was good a throwing balls, call it quarterback's intuition.

Daisy shot Joe a glance, like he had done to her. Her pale sage eyes were met with his cocky smirk and relaxed aura. He didn't believe she could do it, Daisy could see it written in his icy blue eyes. Joe underestimated her. If he clinked his two working braincells together he might have remembered the whole ex boyfriend of four years being a football player thing. Sure, Daisy was no gunslinger but she knew how to throw a decent ball. She could take the credit for a portion of Lucas Milo's high school training if she wanted too.

Joe's face drops as the ping pong once again hits the bottom of a beer filled red solo cup. His jaw ticks in annoyance as cheers ring out around him. He snaps his head at Ja'marr and Cassie as they shout out loud praises for Daisy.

Evelyn was up next, and her shot was pathetic. She missed the table completely. Daisy had to look away so that she wouldn't laugh at Joe's misery. She knew how much Joe wanted to win this game, and she would do everything to stop it.

The game went on dramatically, each shot towards the cups felt like a tug-of-war of emotions. The more times Joe had to watch Daisy embrace her teammate, the more his fists clenched by his side, the more his gaze darkened and his throws became driven by a forceful anger. The more times Daisy had to watch Joe flirt with Evelyn the more her stomach turned in nausea, the more annoyance bubbled under the surface of her hot skin, the more sloppy her throws became and the more the ping pong ball bounced onto the the sticky floor.

One cup stood on each side of the table. Every thing on the line. Pride the only thing left to play for. Evelyn had fluffed up her last shot, meaning that everything was left on the shoulders of Duke. Daisy crossed her fingers behind her back, eye's dancing across Joe's puffed out chest. She could almost feel the steam of annoyance coming off him, and she could tell there was a tension in the air between them.

Neither Daisy or Joe wanted to give in first. Joe wanted Daisy to come to him, lay her flirting on thick and pull Evelyn away from him. He wanted to see some fire from her, he wanted to see her falter. Just show him that she cared, even if it was only in small drunken moments. He had driven across town to help her, he took her to get food when she was hungry in the night. All small things but they were better than nothing. Daisy gave him nothing.

Daisy wanted Joe's attention. Daisy wanted Joe to only look at her, not because she had feelings for him, but because she wanted the ego boost. She wanted to feel like the most beautiful girl in the room, but Joe had spent his whole night with a woman that looked nothing like her. Both of them shared deep frustration for each other, both of them misunderstanding what the other wanted from them.

Duke lined up his shot, a strong arm balancing in the air as he gently leaned over the pong table. He let's his shot fly.

Joe's eyes narrowed as he watched the final shot arc through the air. It felt like the universe made the time slow tauntingly, the ball spinning through the air in a torturous motion. He watched as it his the edge of the solo cup and bounced into the sticky liquor.

Cheers erupted around them. A scream of ecstasy from Carson, and a more subtle one from Cassie beside Joe. Everyone seemed happy for them.

Daisy and Duke had won, fair and square.

She had beaten Joe with another guy, a guy he still had no idea about. The one who had his hands over her all night, and in victory that was no exception. She laughed and jumped into his arms, her legs wrapping around his torso as he placed a supportive hand under her skirt, likely on her peach shaped cheek. The mystery guy spun her around in celebration. Daisy's hands were wrapped around his neck, fingers lightly toying with the ends of his braided hair.

Joe drank the losing beer, then he forcefully threw the cup into the crowd. His jaw tight, and his brows deeply furrowed as anger began to brew within him.

Ja'marr noticed it. Cassie noticed it. They shot each other a knowing glance.

Joe's faced darken more as he watched the guy put Daisy back down on the ground. He was laughing -- too loudly, too happily. Daisy remained close to him, everything about the way they behaved with each other was too knowing, too familiar. The feeling of not knowing what was going on between them was gnawing away at the cold bones of Joe.

Joe let himself breath, a forced smile planting itself once more on his face. He wouldn't let Daisy see him falter, it was what she wanted. Instead, he grabbed the hand of Evelyn and pulled her close. A bare arm wrapping around her shoulders as he walked towards the mystery guy.

Joe held out his hand.

'Good game..' He looked only at the mystery guy and let the silence between them linger as he waited for him to take his hand and say his name.

'Duke, thanks man' Duke. What a classically terrible name, Joe thought. His hand shake was strong and firm. Duke matched him in height, if not even taller and he had an athletic build. Light tattoos traced across his arms, and a slit in his eyebrow. Iced out chain around his neck, even though it wasn't a part of his costume. Joe analysed every part of his competitors body. He was opposite to Joe, in every aspect.

Joe gave one last quick glance to Daisy. An arrogant glint in his eye.

'Let's dip to the next place, Evelyn' He emphasised her name as he continued looking into the victorious gleaming eyes of Daisy, childishly trying to wriggle under her skin. His words were harsh, a nasty tone that he didn't intend to leave his mouth was wrapped around every word. Anger boiled within him.

Beer pong wasn't the only game being played between them tonight.

-౨⋆｡˚ House Four ⋆｡˚ৎ -

The doormen of the fourth house stepped aside quickly as they say the quarterback walking up the porch steps with a sweet blonde wrapping herself around his arm. As he entered, the door swung shut behind him. He tried to shake the bad mood that had settled over him since the beer pong contest but it wasn't working. The wrath that was beating heavy in his chest was inescapable.

Joe's cold eyes scanned the room quickly -- the usual frat party activities were happening, music booming, people dancing, drinks flowing. All distractions available to him, but he couldn't seem to shake the image of Daisy. He couldn't get the image of the cheeky glint in her eye out of his head. The way she laughed, the way she jumped into Duke's arms; it was all flashing through his memory. In that room, surrounded by his friends, he felt like an outsider. Like he was intruding on something he shouldn't be.

He was here with Evelyn, but she wasn't her. She was fun, but not as fun as Daisy. She was carefree, but not as carefree as Daisy. She was sexy, but not as sexy as Daisy. In every department, she came up just short. Before he had seen Daisy, he thought her and Evelyn were equal. Both girls sat at the top of his roster in a joint position, but seeing them stood so close to each other made him realise -- Daisy was number one. Still, his hand rested lightly on the small of Evelyn's back as he guided her through the crowd, he tried to focus his mind on the way she caressed his hand softly and the way she looked at him so hungrily. Nothing worked.

They grabbed another drink, he continued to flirt with her. His own sweet nothings and charm leaving through his lips. Sometimes, he's see a petite brunette out of the corner of his eye, or heard honey like laughter from the crowd and his head would spin quickly. He would think it was her, but it wasn't. His chest would tighten in the anticipation, only for it to be let down. It happened one more time before Joe decided he needed a break, needed to get away from everything for a few moments.

'Stay here, i'll be back in ten' He tossed the words at Evelyn, not caring if she caught them or not. Then, he made his way out the back door of the frat.

The cooler night hitting him like a wave of relief. The backyard was quieter than the atmosphere inside, bathed only in the soft golden light of poorly put up bulb string lights and a fire pit in the back corner. A few people were scattered around, mostly mellow stoners with thick joints in their hands puffing the night away. Joe wished that was him, but he couldn't indulge during football season. He couldn't take the risk of a drug test coming back positive.

Joe grabbed a shitty dirty covered deck chair and sat on the back porch, his hand searched through the back pocket of his jumpsuit for the cigarette he had brought out in case he needed it. He was glad he had. His mind was still racing, replaying the night over and over again. The wrath that had been boiling within him was now just a simmer, but still present nonetheless. The sharp chill of the evening air was helping to dull the fire within him. He placed the cigarette between his lips and lit it with the flick of his white lighter. He took a long drag, exhaling slowly and watched as the smoke curled up them disappeared in the night.

Even the act of smoking reminded him of Daisy, taking him back to the garden of the bar in Austin. That felt like an eternity ago, but it wasn't. Only six weeks had passed since then.

The quiet nature of the backyard made everything feel more distant, like the noise and chaos of the Halloween night were in another life altogether. The flickering glow of the fire pit caught his indigo eyes as he exhaled a puff of his cigarette again. Glowing embers danced in the air around him. He leaned back in the creaky deck chair, eyes focussing on the stars above as he made every effort to clear his mind. For a split second, it felt like a small weight had lifted. Maybe, the doctors of the early 1900s weren't lying when they prescribed cigarettes as medicine.

The door to the backyard bangs shut, but Joe doesn't pay any attention. He takes another drag, the smoke comforting him as it filled up his chest with a warmth. He flicked the ash onto the worn green grass beneath him.

'You're Joe Burrow right?' An unfamiliar voice bring Joe back to earth from his dissociated mind. He looks to where the voice comes from and it's the last person he expects.

Carson.

Joe scans around him, instantly checking to see if Daisy was out their with him.

'She's inside' Carson tells him and Joe just nods. Carson grabs his own shitty, filth covered deck chair and places it next to Joe. The action makes Joe shuffle in his seat, sitting up a bit and taking a more tense drag of the cigarette. Carson pulls out a pack of his own Marlboro's. He takes out two, placing one on the arm of Joe's chair.

'You look like you need it' Carson's words are joking, cheerful as he tried to break the tension between him and Joe.

'Thanks' Joe's tight lipped and hesitant. He didn't understand why Carson had come and sat next to him, why he was making the effort to speak with him. He would smoke the second cigarette nonetheless, he only had a little left of his first one.

Silence engulfed them as Carson took his first drag from his cigarette. The smell of tobacco floating around them, clinging to their hairs and clothes.

‘Heard you had a fight with my brother Miles’ Joe looks at Carson, slightly confused for a moment. The alcohol inhibiting the work rate of his brain cells.

‘I mean Lucas’ Carson corrects. Joe nods, remembering the aftermath of the game against the Longhorns. Was that why Carson was out here? was he going to defend his brothers honour?

‘He’s annoying’ Joe spoke the plain truth, careful not to insult him too much but still defending what happened at the game.

‘He’s a cunt’ The harsh and blunt words of Carson made Joe spit out the puff of some he was holding in his mouth. He lightly coughs and Carson side eyes him with small judgement.

'You don't get along then' Joe asked.

'We don't talk. Period.' Carson inhaled his cigarette once more, letting out a breath and tapping off the ash before continuing speaking. 'He's a shitty brother and a shitty person, he only cares about football and Daisy'

Joe's chest constricts at the mention of her. A thumping pressure around his heart that rattled against his ribcage as he takes in Carson's words.

'He broke up with her, no?' Joe tries to be nonchalant, he tries to phrase his question as if he is partaking in small talk. Deep down, he did care to learn more about Daisy, more about the situations of her past.

'No, well yes, but no'

Joe's brows furrowed in confusion as he processed what Carson had said. He shifts uncomfortably in his seat, taking the long final drag of his first cigarette before flicking it to the ground. Carson sighs, heavily. It was like something was weighing down on his conscious and he had to get it out.

'I'm telling you because I need to tell someone, and I know you wouldn't say anything' Carson talked to Joe like he had known him for years, like he was some sort of trusted ally.

'I made Lucas dump her.' Carson's breath is shaky. 'He had been cheating on her, she knew and wouldn't leave him. So-- So, I got some dirt on him, like kicked off the football team level dirt and blackmailed him into ending things with her.' Carson slumped back in his chair, desperately puffing away at the cigarette as the guilt clawed at him. He knew it was what was best for Daisy, but sometimes it felt like he overstepped.

'So you freed her from a shitty relationship, don't understand why you're stressing' Joe shrugs his shoulders.

'It wasn't my relationship to end' Carson's tone is wary and sorrowful, a crippling remorse booming in his smoke filled chest. His shaky hand takes another drag of the cigarette. Joe watches him, he feels sorry for him. The boy was clearly beating himself up over something he shouldn't have been.

'It's hard to understand, but my brother really does love her. In his own fucked up way. He just never learned how to love properly, our parents aren't really the best example.' Carson's voice cracks out before continuing. 'I hate Mil-- Lucas, but I know why he did the things he did to her. He's cut from the same cloth as our father'

Joe paused for a moment. He lights the second cigarette and brings it to his lips. The end glows a vibrant orange and more embers float up into the sky. He thinks about what to say, he wasn't the best at supporting people when they were emotional. Especially when he didn't even know them.

'She was your friend to save, and you did. Actions aren't written in out DNA, they aren't passed through genetics. They're choices we make as free people. Lucas made his choices, and you gave him his consequence.' Joe states the words like a matter of fact. They're casual but meaningful. He looks at the flames of the fire pit, an effort to not get attached to the situation he found himself in.

'Holy fuck, you're so philosophical' Carson lightens the mood with a quick joke.

The two boys sit there in a smoky silence once again, the ice between them broken and the awkward atmosphere no longer circling them. Both of them huff and puff at the tobacco filled papers, both trying to push all the clutter in their minds to the background.

'Whose Duke?' Joe built up the courage to finally ask.

‘She was hooking up with him over summer, just a few times’ Carson tells him.

Joe's stomach twisted tighter, a breath catching in his throat. He knew Duke wasn't just some guy she met tonight, he could tell it in the closeness between them. The familiarity of their touches, the sweetness of her smile. He shifted uncomfortably once again, an attempt to try and get rid of the simmering anger. Flashes of them two together once again plagues Joe's mind, but this time he's imagining things more sexual. He's imagining Duke seeing Daisy the way he sees her, arched in a messy bed with her cheeks flushed and her skin sticky. He rolled out his neck, his jaw hardened as he clenched it tightly.

Carson chuckles to himself as he watches Joe’s reaction.

Joe shoots him a harsh look, but Carson doesn't let it effect him.

‘One day, in a few years, after college is dead and done. When you're in the league and she’s doing whatever she's doing, you’ll see her and I bet, I bet good money the feeling you're feeling right now will still be there' Carson throws the end of his cigarette on the ground, standing up and stomping on it.

Joe doesn't look at him, and he refuses to acknowledge his words. Instead his eyes stare at the twinkling stars in the night's sky.

'We're heading to the house across from here next, join if you want but ditch the sorority girl with the tacky costume' Carson leaves Joe sat in silence. He struts back into the house, his final words left lingering in Joe's mind as he debated what he should do.

Did he leave Daisy alone? Did he let her enjoy her night with the boy before him, even though it stung like a scorpion's pincer? Did he settle for second place?

No. That wasn't him.

He knew what he wanted, and he would get her.

-౨⋆｡˚ House Five ⋆｡˚ৎ -

The house across the street had been transformed into something straight out of a twisted halloween night - a theme of horny devils. Every member of the fraternity was shirtless, covered in red paint and black devil horns. The usual mess of a busy frat party was amplified by the deep red lights that bathed the room, casting long shadows of people dancing across the white walls.

This house felt hotter than the other ones -- it was thick, almost suffocating with the combination of body heat, the frisky rap and r&b music, the sharp smell of alcohol mixing with the funky smell of marijuana and the fog machine making the floor hazy. The red glow made the place look like the depths of hell, that and the fake blood splattered across the walls. People on the dance floor were pressed close, closer than they had been at other parties. It was like they couldn't resist the erotic energy in the air. Boots stomped and heels clicked, bodied grinding into each other. The whole place burned under a sinful heat.

Including Daisy and Duke.

They were close, her hips moved against him and she could feel he was turned on. Every move felt more intimate and dangerous, like the fun was more about indulgence and temptation than lightheartedness.

Bella was in the corner of the room, she was making out with some girl. Justin and Ja'marr had hunted some woman of their own, both of them on the dance floor as well. Cassie and Carson bounced together, out of tune to the music but they were having fun.

Daisy, while Duke gripped at her waist, thought about Joe and Evelyn. They were probably fucking in his navy sheets right now. In the same bed she slept in, like she was nothing. Her red thong likely still hung above them on the headboard. Joe wouldn't care though, she knew that. She hadn't seen them since they left the party after the beer pong contest, but the gnawing sensation in her bones stayed with her. It was a shadow that loomed over her all night -- the feelings of envy, pride and greed. She wanted Joe for herself, but she wouldn't admit it. She wouldn't let him see that side of her. The side that was intense and selfish, wanting him to only want her. That wasn't Joe, she had to keep reminding herself. He's not a one woman guy. She shouldn't care but she did, she could blame it on the liquor.

She never felt this way without alcohol. It was the common denominator.

In the corner of the room, near a table of crimson lit drinks, Joe watches her. She doesn't know that he's here, that he's lurking in the shadows waiting for his opportunity to pounce. He brings a black solo cup to his lip, it's filled with a pungent mix of vodka and cranberry juice. His eyes glowed fiercely as he watched her under the red lights.

Greed clawed at his skin. She should be with him, she was his woman to fuck and no-one else's.

The way she danced put him in a trance, his brain falling under her spell. The heat crept over his slightly wet skin. Goosebumps on his bare arms.

He was tired of this push and pull between them. Tired of the game of cat and mouse. He finished his drink, throwing the empty cup over his shoulder. He wiped the remaining liquid from his mouth, then he pushed his way into the steamy dance floor. Blue eyes never leaving her, too scared that if they did he would lose her. She would slip through his hand's like sand.

Daisy senses something coming before she feels him, before she hears him.

'Get outta here bro' Joe speaks to Duke like he's pathetic, he's mocking him. His nose upturned against him, looking down on him. Joe knew he was better, and so he acted like it.

Duke looks at him confused, and he laughs him off. He just keeps dancing with Daisy. Joe rolls his eyes.

'What do you want, little cub?' Joe looks at Daisy.

Little cub. Daisy feels her stomach flutter at the new nickname. Joe's looking at her with the look she knew so well. Her eyes scan around him and she notices Evelyn isn't around.

'She's gone, ditched' Joe reassures her as he can tell what she's thinking. Daisy's heart pounds in her chest, her eyes dart to Duke and then too Joe. She knows her choice. It's an easy one, she hates how easy it is. She hates how quick she runs back to him. No matter how many times she tries to stay away, this electricity would keep her coming back. A feeling she had never felt, one that was so addicting.

'Okay' Daisy says, loudly over the music but still somehow hushed. She steps away from Duke. His hands dropping from where they had been on her body. She turns to look at him, too offer a shallow sorry for using him.

Duke holds up his hands. 'It's okay, you don't have to explain it. It's chill, heard about the rumours anyway.' He said before he headed off to find his friends again. Daisy hated that he had said that because it only served to make her feel worse. Guilt rippling through her skin. Heard about the rumours anyway. That clung to her. She was the football star's piece once more, and she always told herself she would never be that again.

'I need air' Daisy rushed off into the crowd herself, ignoring Joe's call for her to come back. She didn't know where she was going but she pushed her way out the front of the house. She shoots Carson a text, letting him know she was moving onto the next place. The night was getting super late, and the energy in the air was dwindling. There was only one rager left, them a quick stop in at Joe's fraternity.

She just wanted to get it over and done with.

Complete her seven deadly fraternities and then go home.

-౨⋆｡˚ House Six ⋆｡˚ৎ -

Daisy had knocked back shot after shot, alongside Carson and Cassie. Justin and Ja'marr had taken their girls and where doing something elsewhere, likely in a moan filled room and a creaking bed. Bella remained at the previous house with the girl she was hooking up with, likely moving to her off campus apartment soon.

Daisy had taken in the air she needed too, she had calmed down from the lingering guilt and panic that had settled in on the dance floor of the devil themed party. Once again, she felt calm. She felt like herself.

She watched Joe walk in, his head on a swivel as he tried to find her. Through the haze of flashing lights and bodies, he caught a glimpse of her. When he spotted her she was already looking at him. Carson was leaned over and talking in her ear but she wasn't paying him any attention.

Her lust filled eyes were staring into Joe's. She had chosen him and she could tell it had boosted his ego, his wife beater covered chest puffed out. A golden glow of victory surrounding him. The backwards cap always did something to Daisy, it was one of her favourite sights. When their eyes connected, an electric jolt shot itself through both of their bodies. Neither of them knew the other one felt it.

How deep is your love by Calvin Harris boomed through the speakers as they still looked at each other across the bustling room.

I want you to breathe me

let me be your air

let me roam your body freely

The atmosphere around them darkened. The feeling lay thick between them, the feeling they got when they knew it was about to happen. When an animalistic lust was about to take control of every action. Joe's eyes are sparkling, a thick smug smirk curling on his puffy lips. Daisy bites her lip, thoughts of what's to come running through her mind. It drives Joe insane.

how deep is your love?

is it like the ocean?

what devotion are you?

Joe needs her now, he can't stand the space between them. He needs to feel her, taste her. Be her sin. He pulls his phone from the back pocket of his prisoner costume.

pull me closer again

how deep is your love?

Daisy watched him type away on his phone, the white glow illuminating his tanned face. She never took her eyes off him, not until her phone buzzed with a text and she grabbed it. Now it was her turn to be illuminated by the dim white light of her device.

open up my eyes

tell me who I am

let me in on all your secrets

Joe

upstairs bathroom now.

Daisy's stomach drops as she reads his hungry words. She looks up at him and his smirk is so cocky and confident, hungry and determined. She pushed herself off the table she had been resting on, not hesitating as she headed for the stairs. It felt naughty, sex in a party bathroom. It was something she had never done before but she wanted to do it with Joe. She needed to do it. She wouldn't be able to wait until they got to his place.

So tell me how deep is your love, can it go deeper?

Joe slipped through the crowd, rushing to follow behind her as she strutted up the stairs. They met each other at the open door of an empty bathroom at the end of the upstairs hallway. They looked deeply into each others eyes, with a ferocious hunger and a desire that had to be filled.

'After you, cub' His voice was almost purring, laced in sexual prowess. Joe needed her like he needed the air he breathed. As Daisy walked into the bathroom, he looked around. He didn't care if anyone saw, but he just wanted to make sure they wouldn't be interrupted for a short while. Enough time to fuck her roughly against the bathroom counter and fog up the mirror from the steaming heat between them.

When he checked the coast was clear, he slammed the door behind him. He went to bolt the door, sliding it across with a harsh click.

Daisy watched him do it, and she could see his broad shoulders rising up and down as his breathing increased. A thick silences wrapped around them like a warm embrace. Tension and anticipation vibrated around them, heavy breath as they both knew what was coming.

Joe turned around. Daisy gulped.

In an instant, he wrapped an arm around her waist and flipped them. Her back now pushed against the closed door and Joe's mouth hungrily on her own. Bodies pressed together, beating hearts in chests reflecting like a mirror. Daisy tossed his backwards cap on the floor of the cluttered bathroom, her hands then run through his soft hair as she lightly tugs on it.

Soft groans sound out around the damp bathroom. The environment around them was anything but romantic. Dull yellow wall tiles as the fraternity brothers seemed allergic to cleaning products, a grotty looking bathmat on the stained floors. They didn't care, they were just focussed on the pleasure that surged in their veins. The pleasure they both felt as soft lips touched and sweet liquor tasting tongues tangled.

'Jump' Joe growled into her ear as he moved his warm kisses to her bare neck, nipping and sucking as he went. He didn't care if he left a mark on her this time, usually he did but not today. Not when he was starving like he was.

Daisy abided by his command, her thin legs wrapping around his waist as he kept her pressed against the scratched door. His large hands holding her up by her ass. More sloppy kisses laid carelessly on her neck as she let out stifled moans, a poor attempt to be quiet. Not that it mattered, the music from the party should do a decent job of not alerting anyone to what was happening behind the bathroom door.

Joe moved her and places her on the bathroom counter, in front of the mirror. He stood between her spread thighs, the heat around them enough to start fogging up the mirror. Not once since they had gotten into the bathroom had they stopped kissing, like if they're lips parted from each other the world would crumble around them.

'Your costumes pathetic' Daisy lets out a quick jab as her hands claw at his back, leaving a trail of scratch marks which let everyone know she had been there. Joe chuckles into their kiss.

'I've never seen a slutty bear cub' Joe's word are harsh. A calculated clap back to Daisy's own insult. The words make her gasp and pull her head back from his, breaking the kiss properly for the first time. It doesn't last long. Joe places his hand as the back of her head, lightly tugging on her hair and pushed her lips back to his with nothing but pure lust and desperation.

Daisy, still annoyed by his words, put her hands on his chest and pushed him back. A discontent scowl plastered across her bronzy skin.

'I hate you'

They're words she only half means.

'Turns me on' Joe growls back and Daisy feels butterflies float in her stomach at the arrogant response. She couldn't help it, the cockiness that surrounded him made her inner thighs wet. The light sheen of sweat and the primal hunger in his eyes made her core hormones wild and crazy. She did hate him, because of the way he made her feel. Why did it have to be him who made her feel so alive?

They resumed the broken kiss, before Joe pulled her off the counter and spun her round so she was bent over it and facing the toothpaste splattered mirror.

He pulled her black thong half-way down her legs, leaving it hanging at her knees.

There wasn't anything glamorous about the way they were going to fuck, it was going to be quick and dirty. Daisy knew that and let out a moan of anticipation.

Joe gripped her hips and placed himself at her dripping entrance, flipping up her brown skirt so he could get the perfect view of her bent over. Then he pushed himself inside.

The pleasure from just the one thrust was so much he had to take a moment to pause, throwing his head back up to the higher power above and panting out heavy breaths. Daisy herself let out a small gasp as he filled her insides. Sometimes she forgot just how big her was.

When his moment of collection was over, Joe began to thrust powerfully from behind, they had to be quick. The party downstairs was busy and in a short while someone would be knocking at the bathroom door begging to be let in.

Daisy gripped onto the bathroom counter with white knuckles the sweet ecstasy ran through her body. Her dopamine now sky high as the quarterback hit her g-spot over and over. Joe hand one hand in her hair, lightly pulling her head back so she could watch them in the mirror. She watched as Joe's muscles tensed and tightened, his veins popping from his neck and his arms as he focussed on only one thing -- sultry pleasure.

His messy hat hair now sprung free and was bouncing on his head with each thrust, light blonde strands getting caught on the sheen of sweat that dazzled in the pale yellow bathroom light.

Joe watched had Daisy bit onto her smudged and swollen lips, trying to hush the moans that spilled from her. Her freckled cheeks were flushed red, and her fluffy cub head band was ever so slightly falling as he gripped onto her silky smooth hair. She was glowing in the pale light, her skin looked so soft and so tender.

Joe felt her legs shaking as he kept going, stronger and deeper inside her every time. He had had enough sex with her to know when she was close, and he could feel her tight walls closing around him. He was on his way to his own climax.

*Bang* *Bang* *Bang*

Their startled heads both turn to the door but Joe doesn't stop, more like he can't stop, fucking her. The air around them was so hot and sleazy, dirty little secrets being played out behind a party door. He looks back in the mirror and grips her hips harder, trying to make her finish quicker. She borderline screams out a moan of his name. Joe quickly covers her mouth to shut her up, now that they knew someone was beyond the door.

*Bang* *Bang* *Bang*

'Hurry the FUCK up' the unknown voice from outside the door yelled.

Joe kept going, his pace somehow becoming even quicker. Daisy didn't understand how he had the stamina to do it but she wasn't complaining, not when her climax was about to burst from her.

Joe's own grunts were the only noise that filled the room as he hand remained across Daisy mouth.

When he felt her become even wetter, and her legs almost give way, he knew she had finished.

*Bang* *Bang* *Bang*

Joe came to his own climax, filling her up with his load before moving his hand from her mouth.

Daisy's subtle whimpers rang out as she grabbed some tissue and wiped the dripping remains of Joe from her leg. She was shaky on her feet, and she knew she would be aching tomorrow morning.

Joe pulled his orange overalls up and tightened them once again, his eyes lingering on Daisy as he watched her pull the black thong back up her soft legs. He gave her a light smack on the ass before she had the chance to flip her skirt back down. When she turned around with a harsh glare she only met the childish cheeky grin of Joe.

'Let's get out of here'

Joe unlocked the door and walked out first. Daisy followed behind him, wiping the smudged makeup from her eyes and lips whilst also trying to brush her messy hair straight again.

The culprit of the banging stood in the form of a few sophomore fraternity brothers.

'Shit, our bad'

'We didn't know it was you, Burrow'

Their hushed and almost embarrassing apologies rang out and Daisy finds herself wanting the ground to swallow her up. They all knew what had been happening inside, and Daisy knew it was a rumour that would spread around campus like a raging untameable wildfire. Joe didn't seem to mind though, his head held up so high and his arrogance dripping from every step of his typical strut.

'C'mon, cub' Joe flicked the words over his shoulder as he sensed Daisy slowing as she come under the gaze of the fraternity brothers.

They only had one house left.

-౨⋆｡˚ House Seven ⋆｡˚ৎ -

Daisy approached the last stop of the night; Joe's fraternity. A house she knew so well, a place where she was beginning to feel comfortable and familiar. Joe lingered somewhere behind her, people stopping him on his way back to talk. Likely teammates or simply just friends from classes, Daisy wasn't sure. She never involved herself in that aspect of his life. If they didn't live in the house with him, then she didn't know them.

Loose and half done Halloween decorations hung from the porch bannisters, a blow up ghost sat on the front lawn. Daisy rolled her eyes and bit back a smile as her eyes danced over the poor efforts. Clearly, they hadn't cared about Halloween as much as the other fraternities had. People still lingered around, even at the dangerously late hour. Drunken men lay out on the red solo cup filled front yard. The sickly sweet smell of spilt whiskey mixed with the vile scent of vomit.

Daisy walked up to the porch stairs, but she stops when she notices something familiar glowing from the corner of her eye. A pumpkin, in fact two pumpkin's next to each other. One looked like it had been hacked away at by a toddler, a sorrowful rather than spooky face carved into it. There was pretty good cat carved into the one next to it though. I wonder who did that one, she thought in her head as a warm feeling pooled into her stomach. A sweet smile printed across her smudged puffy lips.

'Come on, cub' Joe pulls her away from her gaze on the pumpkins as he places an arm around her shoulder and walks into the house with her.

The place is destroyed. Litter everywhere, and an extremely unpleasant smell. Some people still remained around, a few dancing on the dance floor as they refused to call the night over. Ja'marr was in the corner, under the glow of a pink hued disco light, two girls wrapped in his arms and he's taking it in turns kissing each one.

'PARTY'S OVER' Joe removes his heavy arm from Daisy's shoulders, clapping loudly to get everyone's attention. The comfortable warmth that was once there now gone, cold air almost stinging her as it met her skin. Stumbling people groan and begin to walk to the front door like zombies. All of them so beyond drunk. The music still played out numbly. The Morning by The Weeknd.

Daisy's eye watched Ja'marr still in the corner with his two women wrapped under his muscular arms, while Joe helped escort people from the frat alongside the intoxicated freshmen brothers. The hands of the girls raked over his muscular abdomen, one kissing on his lips and another sucking at his neck. Ja'marr hand's taking it in turns to grip the voluptuous asses of the girls. Neither of them were the one he left the other party with. Daisy wondered if he had lost that girl, or if he had fucked her then moved onto the next. Her eyebrows were almost creased in an expression which said 'is this really something i'm watching right now?', never in her life had she seen such an open display of sleaziness. Perhaps that was hypocritical coming from someone who was just fucked in a dirty fraternity bathroom.

A whistle from behind her, and the feeling of a strong chest lingering over her shoulder made her jump lightly. Joe's arms extended past her and he clicked his fingers at his wide receiver to grab his attention.

Ja'marr turned his head away, a sloppy drunken grin which had a gleam of mischief decorated his face. A face which was smudged with make up that didn't below to him. Daisy's wide eyed, a small smile on her lips.

'Either take 'em to your room, or make 'em leave' Joe's voice is stern, a command that wasn't very forceful but Ja'marr still listens to his quarterback.

Ja'marr tosses one of the women over his shoulder, her high pitched squeal rings out through the room. She takes a hand and covers her mouth to stop the giggles from spilling out. He then grabs the hand on the other girl and begins to walk them to his room at the end of the bottom floor. Both of the girl are blushing, cheeky grins decorating their faces.

Ja'marr head is held high cockily. When he walks out the room, he stops at where Daisy and Joe are stood. Joe was still very close behind Daisy's back, he's towering over her almost protectively. Daisy can feel his booming heart beat against her, it's making her own breath's get caught in her throat.

'You wanna join, texas?' Ja'marr chirps out. A glint in his eye as he holds Daisy's gaze. Then his eyes flicker to Joe's.

Daisy felt Joe tense at the words Ja'marr flirted. His shoulders stiffening, light movement of his fists by his side. She can only imagine the look on his face, she doesn't turn herself to see it. Instead she just keeps looking at Ja'marr and watches his reaction.

Ja'marr's cocky smirk dropped as he met his quarterback's harsh gaze. Joe's jaw was clenched, as if he was holding back something sharper, something harsher. His eyes squinted letting Ja'marr know not to push him. His pink lips pressed into a thin line.

'Kidding' Ja'marr says before quickly scurrying down the hallway with his two hunted women.

Daisy felt Joe relax behind her, and the gust of air that his her back as he moved away from her. He walked over the refrigerator and pulled the heavy metal doors open, his eyes scanning for something to eat. He closed them with an empty handed huff.

'Bed?' Joe asked her. Daisy nodded her head in an enthusiastic response. The liquor had worn off and left behind droopy eyes and sloth-like desire to sleep.

-౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ -

That night, once again they slept beside each other. Daisy comfortably in some of his boxers and a oversized t-shirt. Her makeup taken off with the wipes she had brought over to keep there, her teeth brushed with the pink toothbrush he had bought for her.

Tomorrow morning, a conversation needed to be had. Both Daisy and Joe knew it. Their reaction to each other tonight told a tale which was much more than casual sex. They had to make adjustments to the rules of their little partnership, figure out where to go from here.

Neither of them knew what that meant for them. Come tomorrow morning, the whole thing between them might cease to exist or it was about to be taken up a step. The arrangement was either going to fall apart or push them closer.

Joe knew what he wanted, and so did Daisy.

But both of them repressed it, burying it deep in their minds and stomachs. It was something they wanted to ignore.

But ignorance can only last so long.

#joe burrow #lsu!joe #joe burrow au #joe burrow imagine #joe burrow x oc #joey burrow #lsu joe #౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ forbidden - joe burrow au #joe burrow imagines #joe shiesty #cincinnati bengals #joe burrow bengals #nfl imagine #joe burrow smut

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hkthatgffan · 10 days ago

Note

What's a (non controversial) opinion about Gravity Falls that you have changed in your view of as you have gotten older or from hearing other takes about it in the fandom?

I've had various small changes in opinions here and there, but I think the biggest change in opinion I've had with Gravity Falls since I first watched it is my opinion on Stanford Pines.

I'll be frank, I didn't really like the guy when I was new to the show. I think it was a mix of some badly timed events that helped in making that the situation for me at the time. Remember, in 2017 the GF fandom was a lot different...for all like 3 of us who still probably were in it at the time and hadn't converted our accounts into SVTFOE fan pages, lmao. When that shitty Mabel video dropped and the fandom was in hate mode on her, I was of course on the defense side. And back in the day I was mainly on GF Amino and later Instagram. So, I didn't have the overall more open minded and differing opinions view as I do now. GFA was full of kids like me who were new to the show and probably more obsessed with making OCs, Bill Cipher and just didn't care about the greater show (I wasn't like that but I think you can imagine what GFA then was like and it makes me wonder why I never quit that app sooner, lmao). So, I didn't have exposure to the altering views folks had on Ford.

What I saw in my limited GFA world was Mabel haters and often times they were folks with Ford pfp's going on about why everyone was defending Mabel while not saying anything about Ford. I even got into a fued once with some Ford fan who was hating on Mabel and that just left a bad taste in my mouth. That combined with other aspects of my early GF fandom debates made me have an opinion on him where, while I didn't hate Ford, he was my least favourite within the core characters. I think it really started to change for me when the GF fandom started to grow in popularity again around the 10 year anniversary and I was seeing more and more content here and there. That and also me being more active on Tumblr, which led me to those missing opinions and takes on Ford I didn't as much have in my limited GFA/IG sphere.

It's no secret that Tumblr Gravity Falls is a lot different about their take on Ford...in that he's a more discussed, liked and fiercely defended/debated character. That's not to generalize it of course, as there are many different takes on here given how diverse Tumblr is compared to other parts of the fandom, but it's more or less the accepted opinion within a majority of the Tumblr GF community that Ford is more liked of a character and better understood. I think Hana said it best when we were chatting once (or maybe it was in a video) on how many in the Tumblr GF fandom are older and so, have more experience in the fandom, real world experience and understanding to have more developed opinions and so, they see these characters in ways younger fans like me don't as much or probably will when we're older and get it the same way others here do.

Now, that's not to say I agree with every opinion out there about Ford on here...I mean, I don't agree on every opinion about even Dipper and Mabel and they're my favourite characters. But, having more time to understand and hear out fans and also just me getting older and dealing with real life experiences that made me better get his character have improved my understanding and opinion on him. Maybe it's my own fear at the realization I'm getting older and now as old as many GF fans on here were when I joined and new fans the same age I was when I was new, but it's led to me taking more time to hear out people and given every opinion heard a chance and to decide from it if I agree with it or not. And Ford has benefitted from that, given as I said, I sorta better understand why fans love him.

The Book of Bill too does a good job on that, given a lot of what we see with Ford in it is how much Bill Cipher tormented him and the effects it had overall on his life. He's a man who dealt with toxic people and experiences and came out the other end a better guy and one who was able to move past that for himself and his family. And I've been through similar shit in the past myself in parts of my life (not demonic demon level bad but just moving past awful people I've run into over my life). And that makes him relatable in a way. He's less the guy who I hated for trying to split Dipper and Mabel apart and more the guy who went through hell and back and grew in the end from it.

I'm not gonna say I fully get Ford still. I may still have aspects of his character I don't yet get or maybe things about him others may disagree with me on. I've seen even within the Ford community differing opinions and approaches people have to him and it's not really an avenue of the fandom I'm interested in getting into or even feel I'm qualified to talk about (I'll leave that to the GF fandom veterans on here, lol), but IMO, I have a better perception of Ford now than I did 8 years ago or even as recently as 3 years ago.

The older I've gotten, the different my opinions and interests in Gravity Falls have become. When I was new it was all about exploring and AUs, then fanfics and the more angsty side of lore and content fans made, then diving into theories and merch and nowadays, more so behind the scenes aspects and learning all I can in the obscure side of the show. And in that time I also feel my opinions I had have changed too. And Ford is a good example of that.

Moral of the story, there's always more you can learn from the fandom about a character. I went from not caring much about Ford, to loving the depth and lore about him and seeing him in a new light that I previously never did. And I think that's what we all in time should be able to achieve. I've seen Mabel haters come around to love Mabel...and I did the same, but with the author of the journals.

#Ask #AMA #Ask That GF FAN #Grunkle Ford #gravity falls #gravity falls fandom #ford pines #stanford pines #gravity falls stanford #gf stanford #gravity falls ford #opinion #mabel pines #That GF FAN #ThatGFFAN #dipper pines #grunkle stan #alex hirsch

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naughtyneganjdm · 8 months ago

Text

Love's Second Chance: A Holiday Reunion - Chapter 7

Summary: Negan joins Y/N as her date to one of the Christmas parties that the town throws every year. Tensions rise when it's clear that Joel is very unhappy with the relationship that Y/N has with Negan.

Characters: Negan Smith, the reader (OC), Joel Miller, Elizabeth, Peter, Maria, Tommy Miller, Rosita Espinosa, Siddiq, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60501985/chapters/155437699

Warnings: Swearing, angst, depression, sadness, etc.

One thing that never changed was how fast time flew. It had been two weeks since Y/N and Negan went on that date together. Since then? They saw each other every single day. Even though it was two weeks, it felt like they were getting in the years that they had missed with each other very quickly. Every night they would end up together in one of their beds talking. They talked a lot and it was nice to be able to have something like that again. Having open discussions was an amazing thing. It was thrilling getting to have Negan back in her life again. How quickly they reconnected was fantastic and she was so happy to have this relationship with him. It felt like she had her best friend back. And that loneliness she had grown so used to having for so many years? It was gone. Maybe even without meaning to, Negan was able to heal part of her.

Dread was no longer something she felt when waking up. And that was amazing. It lifted her spirits more than she ever knew was possible.

Pretty quickly the town picked up on the two of them always being together. Then again? It probably was pretty obvious. They were always holding hands. Being close was something that Negan was fond of. Touching each other was just normal. Showing his affection for her in public was not something that Negan had a problem with. And it was very sweet. Since he was kind of a celebrity, she had originally thought that he might want to keep their relationship, whatever it was, in the dark. But he stressed too her that he wanted her to be a predominant person in his life so he didn’t care what other people thought. And he visibly meant it.

Also over the last two weeks, they had spent a lot of time with Tommy and Maria. Those two were the new couple that most of the town had picked up on too. Likely because Maria was the daughter of the mayor so her family was big around their small hometown. But then again? It seemed like a lot of people had picked up on Tommy and Maria meeting each other every night at the diner. The only person who had been pretty oblivious to it was Joel. Which was strange since rumors really got around fast in this town.

Tommy’s fears did come to fruition because Maria’s dad wasn’t incredibly happy with the two of them being together, but Maria shut that down fast. Tommy and Maria were nowhere near being children and she forced her dad to butt his nose out of it. Surprisingly? He did.

The only person that Y/N hadn’t spent a lot of time with lately was Joel. After the day that he picked the children up from Negan’s mother’s home, he never really had much interest in being around. It was unfortunate considering things, but she could tell he was jealous. And he definitely felt negatively toward her being in some kind of a relationship with Negan.

Tonight Y/N found herself at one of the town’s annual Christmas parties that they held. It was the most popular party that they did during Christmas time. They had other events that they ran, but this was the one that everyone seemed to look forward to each year. Over the last few years? This was not an event that she would look forward to. The kids enjoyed it. And it was a tradition, which traditions were the things that she tried to cling onto for Christmas. So she kept coming.

When she was younger? This was a party that she loved coming to with Joel. For some reason, there was a lot of spotlight on their relationship when they were younger. As she grew older, Y/N started to realize that this town had a very archaic way of doing things. Each year at this party they would always crown a snow king and snow queen for Christmas. Which really? It was just them picking a couple in town that had a lot of attention on them. They would crown them, give them sashes and made a big deal about it. To a younger couple? That was pretty cool. To have the whole town acknowledge that your relationship was special? It was fun. Now that she was older it did kind of feel like it was just the town getting into people’s business. And she grew to hate this competition. Especially because they would always bring the old winners up that were still around onto the stage to ‘honor’ them.

Many times she had won the award of snow king and queen with Joel. And the two had taken many photos to prove it. A lot of those photos were up in the attic of her home collecting dust more than likely. Throughout the event, they would play a very cheesy video to show the history of their winners. Looking back on that video throughout the night brought forth a lot of emotions. Embarrassment knowing that she would have to get up in front of people tonight. Sadness because the relationship that she used to be proud of with Joel no longer existed. And there was also a discomfort over the idea that she was now with someone else, yet the town was still flashing her relationship with Joel all night long.

“So explain this for me,” Rosita whispered in Y/N’s ear, pulling her chair in closer to Y/N. Together they were sitting at one of the tables in the giant ballroom. Across from them, Negan was sitting with Elizabeth and Peter. The three of them were sitting close together all staring down at Negan’s phone while he played a video for them to watch. Peter was snuggly resting his head against Negan’s shoulder and it seemed to come naturally. Occasionally, each of them would burst out into laughter, so obviously it was something funny that Negan had put on for them. It was loud in the room with the music that they were playing, so it didn’t bother Y/N with their tiny outbursts. “Are you dating Negan or not?”

“We really haven’t put a label on our relationship yet,” Y/N was honest with her friend, hoping to be quiet enough so that no one else other than Rosita could hear her. Right now? Her heart was fluttering at the sight of Negan with her children. Just like he had with her, Negan connected swiftly with her children. And she loved that.

“How could you not put a fucking label on that? Negan is a professional baseball player!” Rosita blurt out with Y/N immediately hushing her. Grumbling under her breath, Rosita turned Y/N away from the table so they could talk one-on-one. “If you’re dating a professional baseball player, that’s a pretty big fucking deal.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t really have an answer for you,” Y/N apologized, stealing another glance back at her children with Negan who didn’t seem to be too bothered. Sliding in closer to Rosita, Y/N shrugged her shoulders. “I guess we will have to talk about it. We spend a lot of time together. I feel like we’re inseparable lately.”

“So that means you’re dating,” Rosita stressed, nodding her head in the direction of Negan. “If you’re spending all your time together, I think that means you’re dating.”

“Nothing is official yet,” Y/N repeated, not wanting her friend to get ahead of herself. “I like what we have. It’s been great.”

“So have the two of you…” Rosita made a crude movement with her hands visibly asking if Negan and Y/N had sex. Warmth flooded into her cheeks, stealing a quick look back to make sure Negan and the children were still distracted. Nodding once had Rosita biting back a squeal of excitement. “Like, how many times?”

“I don’t know,” she whispered, placing her finger in over her mouth in attempts to keep Rosita quiet.

“You don’t know because you haven’t been paying attention or you don’t know because it’s been that many?” Rosita was excitedly curious. Probably too excited. Clinging to Y/N’s arm Rosita shook it when she realized it was the second. “Girl, I must know. Is the ego legit for a good reason or is it because he’s lacking?”

“He’s not lacking anything,” Y/N knew better than to talk about this, but Rosita was her best friend after all. “And when we don’t sleep together? He loves cuddling. Just holding me in his arms at night. It’s really sweet.

“That’s cute and all, but what about the sex?” Rosita eagerly bounced in her seat wanting the tea on her relationship with Negan.

“I won’t go into details but he’s very good with what he has,” Y/N didn’t want to be one of those people that went into excruciating details. Especially since her children were right across the table from them.

Clearing her throat, she slid in closer to Rosita so she could speak very quietly, “He knows how to make me squirt.”

“Honey! I told you that Joel wasn’t that good at se…” Rosita blurt out too loudly getting an immediate hushing sound from Y/N to cut her off. This time it drew Negan’s attention who looked up at them. His hazel eyes seemed curious, but when Y/N gave him a cheesy smile he just smirked and went back to watching what he was.

“Joel is good. Don’t even start at that. It’s just Negan, Negan is good too. They are vastly different, but I enjoy both,” Y/N assured Rosita evoking Rosita to roll her eyes dramatically knowing that Y/N was still quick to defend Joel.

“Okay, so you’re the luckiest girl in the world and the two men you’ve been with are incredibly good at sex. Good for you,” Rosita grumbled under her breath, showing a sense of jealousy at the idea of it. “We all can’t be as lucky as you.”

“Siddiq is adorable,” Y/N pointed in the distance to Rosita’s man who was sitting at the table with Coco in his lap. Siddiq was bouncing their daughter on his knee, singing to her while the music played up on stage.

“Siddiq is flawless, but he’s not the only man I’ve been with,” Rosita frowned thinking back on past relationships that she had. “So yes, Siddiq is beautiful, perfect and amazing. But they weren’t all like that.”

“I think what matters is how everything turned out,” Y/N thought aloud about her friend’s relationship. Thinking about Negan, Y/N shifted in her seat and sighed. “With Negan, it’s been nice having someone around when the children are with Joel. That’s for sure. I thought my vacation from work was going to be really lonely. So lonely that I would just get back on the computer and work.”

“What about Joel? How’s he taking it?” Rosita was interested with her eyebrow arching in curiosity. The mention of Joel had Y/N swallowing down hard and she shrugged her shoulders. “After what happened before Negan showed up? I thought he’d have more to say.”

“I haven’t seen him much over these last two weeks,” Y/N replied with a long sigh letting her friend in on what was happening with her ex-husband. “He’s supposed to be here today though. Elizabeth asked him to come specifically for her. And technically? We’re supposed to be here for that stupid dance where they honor the past winners for the snow queens and kings.”

“That’s cute about Elizabeth, gross about the honoring the past winners,” Rosita blurt out, her face wrinkling up in disgust. “It’s such an outdated way of doing things. We should celebrate all the couples and families. Not just single one out.”

“Baby,” Siddiq’s voice interrupted the two of them as he approached them with Coco in his arms. “While that’s a nice thought, I know that you would love to be crowned that and you would eat up the attention if it was you.”

“Oh hush you,” Rosita stood up from her seat to approach her man who giggled in return. Grabbing a hold of Coco, Rosita and Siddiq went somewhere else together leaving Y/N alone to herself at her side of the table.

Being alone allowed Y/N to watch her children with Negan. Peter was telling Negan an elaborate story while Elizabeth bickered back and forth with him. It had Negan looking between the two of them, laughing when one of them would say something to amuse him. It really was impressive how quickly Negan got along with her children. Especially since Negan had been out of her life for so long. Right now? It felt like Negan had never left.

Gasping out, she felt the sensation of a pair of cold hands placing in over her shoulders. Looking back, she saw that it was Tommy. A surprised breath fell from her throat noticing that Tommy’s hair was pulled back nicely into a ponytail and he was wearing a very nice gray suit.

“Tommy, my God,” Y/N stood up from the table, turning to face Joel’s little brother. Extending her hands out, she brushed her hands in over his shoulders and gave him a once over. “You look so good. Look at you! I don’t think I’ve ever seen you dress like this before.”

“Well,” Tommy stepped aside, his face flushing over when he revealed that Maria was behind him. There was a smile that tugged at his features showing that he was proud to have her beside him. Motioning her forward, Tommy curled his arm around Maria’s waist and shrugged. “There is a reason for that and she’s right here. I want to look the best I can for her.”

“You always look the best,” Maria looked to Tommy with so much love in her eyes. Just seeing that made Y/N smile. Since this was the man that she had helped raise, it was nice to see Tommy find a love like he had with Maria.

“You both look amazing,” Y/N complimented them, holding her hand out to point to Maria’s outfit that she was also wearing. She was dressed in a golden gown that looked gorgeous on her. “Maria, you are stunning.”

“You’re always too kind to me,” Maria stated with a big smile when Y/N stepped forward to hug Maria. Beside them Tommy seemed so proud of the moment.

“Just truthful,” Y/N pulled back to give Maria’s shoulders an assuring squeeze. Motioning them to wait, Y/N turned on her heel and spoke up loud enough for the children to hear. “Elizabeth! Peter! Come see your Uncle Tommy and Maria!”

“Uncle Tommy!” Peter exclaimed at the sight of Tommy once he pulled his stare away from the phone that he was focused on. Getting up from the table, Peter set the phone down and threw his hands up in the air. “What are you wearing? I’ve never seen you in something like that!”

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” Tommy laughed, accepting a big embrace from Peter as Elizabeth got up and made her way around the table.

“Trust me, it’s a good thing,” Elizabeth accepted the next hug from Tommy while Peter went to go to talk to Maria who seemed just as excited to talk to him. “You must really like this girl, huh?”

“I do,” Tommy acknowledged, squeezing his arms tighter around Elizabeth to give her another big hug. “You’ve met her. How couldn’t I?”

“You don’t have to answer that!” Maria playfully teased with Elizabeth coming over to give her a hug as well.

“Maria, you are so beautiful and you know that I think that,” Elizabeth stressed to Maria, who reached for Elizabeth’s hand to grab a hold of it. Looking over the dress that Elizabeth was wearing, Maria playfully spun Elizabeth who laughed. “Mom picked it out for me.”

“You look gorgeous honey,” Maria assured Elizabeth with a wink, stepping forward to give her another big hug. Over the last two weeks, both Maria and Negan had been able to get close to Peter and Elizabeth. So it was nice to see that they had all clicked so quickly. “Are you alright if we sit with you for a few?”

“Of course,” Y/N knew that they had intentionally made room for them. Both of the children were eager to talk to Tommy and Maria for a while. Watching them made her smile, but out of the corner of her eye she could see that Negan was staring out at her. Winking at him, she wiggled her finger to get him to come sit by her. With a nod, Negan stood up from the table and it drew attention to the three-piece suit that he was wearing that was tailored nicely to his slender form. Moving around the table, Y/N could see that Negan had caught the eye of several people, but by now the town had seemed to have learned to give Negan his space. Especially since he had gone above and beyond for people who came running up to him for photos in the first few weeks. As soon as Negan was seated beside her, she reached out to brush her fingers through Negan’s dark hair that was slicked back. “You are the sexiest man in the room. You know that?”

“Hmm…” Negan hummed, his head pressing in closer to hers. An amused rumble of a sound fell from him, his fingers sweeping in over the side of her face. “I don’t know that, but it never hurts to hear it from the most beautiful woman in the room.”

Going in for a kiss, Negan heard the sound of Elizabeth clearing her throat acting as if she was annoyed. It made both of them laugh when Y/N nuzzled her nose in against Negan’s, “Second most beautiful.”

“Second most beautiful,” Negan repeated what Y/N had said, stealing a quick kiss from Y/N’s lips. Clasping her hand in his, Negan hooked their fingers together tightly and smiled. “Hey Tommy? Did Liz here ever tell you about what happened the other night?”

“About what?” Tommy seemed curious and Elizabeth obviously didn’t know where Negan was headed with his question.

“It was a few weeks ago. She threatened to kick my ass,” Negan slurred, his eyebrow arching in amusement. Elizabeth’s face grew red, an embarrassed sound falling from her lips. “I swore she was gonna kill me.”

“Negan, it’s not funny,” Elizabeth dropped her head down into her hand, wishing like hell Negan wasn’t about to bring it up.

Hushing Negan, Y/N realized where he was headed with the story now that he had both Maria and Tommy’s attention, “Your niece here thought that you and her mother were having an affair. She thought I was you and she was ready to kick my ass.”

“The two of us?” Tommy blurt out, disgust flooding his features when he pointed back and forth between him and Y/N. Nodding, Y/N couldn’t help but be amused with Elizabeth throwing her hands up in the air dramatically. “How in God’s name did you think we were doing something like that kiddo?”

“You were gone all the time,” Elizabeth defended herself with a shake of her head. “I didn’t know why you were gone because you hadn’t told us about Maria yet. So I guess I just assumed, if you weren’t at the house and mom was with someone? Then it had to be you.”

“She raised me,” Tommy reminded his niece who groaned outwardly, shooting a glare over at Negan who laughed out boisterously. “Don’t get me wrong, Y/N is a very beautiful woman, but there is no way in hell that the two of us would ever, ever get together.”

“Nice save,” Negan reached out to pat Tommy on the shoulder. Tommy gave Y/N an apologetic glance and she shook her head telling him that it was okay.

“Onto a less embarrassing subject,” Elizabeth let out a tiny laugh herself, looking around the party. It seemed like the whole town was packed into the ballroom, but there was one person that was missing from the group. “Where’s dad?”

“Oh, uhm…” Tommy started, the tone of his voice changing. Dropping his head, Y/N immediately picked up on the fact that Tommy seemed uncomfortable with Elizabeth asking that. Tipping his head from side to side, Tommy’s eyes met Y/N’s and she knew by the expression that his response was not going to be a good one.

“Is he going to be here soon? I told him that I wanted to recreate that photo that I took with him when I was little,” Elizabeth stressed to Tommy what she had told Joel the other night when she was excited about this party. “A lot of people at my school are recreating photos with their parents and I just remember always loving that one. You know which one I’m talking about, right?”

“The one that you have in your room,” Tommy acknowledged what Elizabeth was reminding him of, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat while he shifted uneasily in his seat. “I uh, I’m sorry kiddo. But your dad isn’t coming tonight. He was pretty busy working on something and he wasn’t able to get away from it.”

“But…” the color drained from Elizabeth’s face hearing that Joel wouldn’t be coming to the party. “I mean, he knew that I wanted to take that photo. He promised that he would be here. He didn’t say anything?”

“He just told me that he would be picking you two up tomorrow morning instead of taking you home tonight,” Tommy explained, nodding between both Peter and Elizabeth. A disappointed breath fell from Y/N’s lips hating that Joel was letting Elizabeth down over obviously being angry that she would be showing up tonight with Negan. “I’m sorry.”

“Eh, it’s okay,” Elizabeth tried to wave off that she was sad about the idea of Joel not showing up. “It was a stupid idea anyway.”

“Nothing is a stupid idea if it’s something that you want,” Negan sat forward in his chair, tapping his fingers against the top of the table to try to get Elizabeth to look at him. “What photo did you want to recreate with him?”

Motioning Negan to wait, Elizabeth grabbed her bag and dug through it to find her phone. Swiping through her photos, she stopped on one and then handed it over to Negan who smiled. It was a photo of Joel when he was younger on the dancefloor with Elizabeth. Joel had obviously won snow king that year by the crown that was over his head.

“How old are you here?” Negan wondered, a big smile tugging at his handsome features attempting to get Elizabeth to talk about what made her happy.

“Five,” Elizabeth answered accepting her phone back after Negan handed it back to her. Setting the phone down on the table, Elizabeth didn’t know how to handle not having Joel there. “It’s fine. It’s just a weird social media trend anyways.”

Someone called out to Elizabeth and she realized that it was one of her friends calling her over, “I’ll be right back.”

Peter followed Elizabeth not far behind and Y/N was quick to turn to Tommy who was ill at ease when she looked to him for the truth, “So what did Joel really say?”

“He just told me that he didn’t want to come to the party tonight. I tried to get him to go, but he was working on a guitar and he said that he didn’t want to,” Tommy alerted her, showing in his body language that he was upset that he had to be the barrier of bad news. “There was only so much I could do. I had to go get Maria, so I couldn’t keep bickering with him.”

“This isn’t like him Tommy,” Y/N noted knowing that Joel had always been an amazing father to their children. “He was supposed to take the children home after the party. Their things are in the car. We were supposed to go up on stage together and do that stupid dance. But most of all, Elizabeth asked him to be here.”

“Like I said, he told me that he would pick them up in the morning,” Tommy threw his hands up in the air noticing the anger that was growing in Y/N’s face. “Hey, don’t get mad at the messenger. I’m just telling you what I was told.”

“Tommy, I know. I just…” she covered her eyes letting out an uncomfortable breath. This was just like Joel to leave her stranded again. “I mean, he’s done this to me with this stupid party several times now. Do you know how weird it feels to have to tell them up on stage that he’s not here so we can’t do it? You saw how upset Elizabeth was.”

“Take Negan with you,” Tommy stammered when he thought about the stage problem that she just pointed out. Maria looked between all of them, not sure what to add to the conversation since she really had no part of it. Hearing that had the lines in Negan’s forehead growing. “I’m sure the town would find him to be an acceptable replacement for my brother.”

“Tommy,” Maria frowned at the suggestion that Tommy gave them, swatting softly at his thigh. “Don’t say things like that.”

“I don’t want to be Joel’s replacement,” Negan assured them, placing his hand in over the center of his chest. “Plus? I was never snow king. I mean, Lucille and I tried when we were in high school, but the title went to Y/N and Joel. I think Joel should be here to do it. It’s meant to be a tradition for a reason.”

“I don’t know what to tell you,” Tommy looked toward the front of the room to eyeball the table where Maria’s father was seated. “We actually are supposed to be sitting with Maria’s family tonight at their table. I just wanted to come over and say hi to you and the family. Since you guys are where my heart is. I would have never told Maria how I felt without you Y/N.”

“And we’ll be forever grateful that you gave him the strength to try to do it,” Maria wrapped her arm around Tommy’s hooking her fingers with his. “I know how much you and the children mean to Tommy. You’re part of my family now.”

Clearing his throat, Negan was being dramatic in the way he tipped his head from side to side wanting some attention too. It made Maria laugh when Tommy reached out to shove into Negan’s shoulder having the both of them burst out in laughter.

“And Negan too,” Maria added to her statement waving her hand about toward Negan who gave her a big cheesy smile. Both Maria and Tommy stood up from the table with Negan and Y/N following suit.

Tommy stepped forward to wrap Y/N up in his arms to give her a big hug. They both went over to say goodbye to the children so they could go to the front table where Maria’s father was. Leaving them alone at the table had Elizabeth coming back with Peter.

“Hey,” Negan called out noticing that Elizabeth still looked bummed about the news of Joel not coming to the party tonight. “I may not be able to do the photo with you, but if you want I’ll dance with you.”

Having Negan offer that made Elizabeth weakly smile. Negan was full on giving her the puppy dog eye staring attempting to get her to smile when he moved in beside her. Nudging her playfully with his arm had Elizabeth laughing, “We can make your friends really jealous.”

“They already know you’re with my mom Negan,” Elizabeth declared making Peter snicker beside her. After a glare was sent his way by Elizabeth, Peter threw his hands up in the air. “Which trust me, they are already jealous of. Just the fact I get to spend time with you makes them jealous. But? You really don’t have to do that in order to make me feel better. I knew that dad hated this party. It was stupid to ask him to do it anyways.”

Looking to her phone, Y/N wanted to call Joel and rip him a new asshole. Sure, she was used to Joel dropping out on her and letting her down, but Joel never let Elizabeth down. To see her daughter so upset made her heart break.

“Well if you don’t want to dance—how about the three of us go get some dessert? Chocolate always makes me feel better,” Negan curled his arms around both Elizabeth’s and Peter’s shoulders pulling them in closer. Peter laughed out loud and pressed his hand in over the center of Negan’s chest to try to pull back. “What do you say?”

“Sure,” Elizabeth shrugged her shoulders getting up with Negan and her brother to go toward the food area together.

Grabbing her phone, Y/N pulled up Joel’s contact information and went to call him. Thinking twice she realized that the whole room didn’t need to know their business. Instead she started writing him a text and didn’t think twice about sending it.

You broke your daughter’s heart tonight. I don’t care about you blowing off the dance, but she really wanted to recreate that photo with you Joel. You should be here if only for her.

Waiting, she stared at her phone and saw that Joel had read the text. Instead of getting a response, she was just left on read which infuriated her.

“God, he’s such a dick,” a familiar voice rumbled behind her causing her to look over her shoulder to see that Joel was kneeling in beside her. His dark hair was slicked back and he was wearing a black suit with a black dress shirt underneath. Shock filled her eyes when she looked him over. Never in the past would he be caught dressing this nice at one of these parties. “You want me to go beat him up for you? I can if you’d like.”

Joel was pointing back toward another area of the room and she felt her face getting hot when she turned to face him in her chair, “Tommy said you weren’t coming.”

“I wasn’t,” Joel replied back with a smirk, his dimples sinking in with his brown eyes narrowing. “But then I realized last minute I did make a promise to my daughter and I keep my promises to my children.”

“Good,” she breathed out realizing just how close Joel truly was to her. There was a warmth that flooded into her face which she assumed was from the anger that had been building up before he showed up. “Where did you find that suit?”

“I had it from our last anniversary,” Joel lowered his head to look over himself and he shrugged his shoulders. Caressing his hand in over the center of his chest, Joel gave her a weak smile. “I just thought maybe this would be a good time to bring it out and actually wear it.”

“You look good,” she mused smelling his cologne from where she was seated. It made her eyes come to a tight close because of how used to it she had become growing up.

“So do you,” Joel commented eyeing over the red dress that she was wearing. This one wasn’t as revealing as the dress that she had worn on her first date with Negan, but it still did bring attention to her curves. It should have offended her that Joel was eyeing over her breasts again, but it didn’t. “Is that a new dress?”

“Yeah,” she was honest knowing that Joel had made comments already about her dressing different for Negan. Nodding his head, Joel looked her over again before leaning forward to press a lingering kiss against her cheek. By the time he pulled back, Y/N felt a lump in her throat staring into his chocolate-colored eyes. “Elizabeth is going to be happy that you’re here.”

In the distance, Joel could see that Elizabeth was heading back with Negan and Peter. Waiting, Joel didn’t stand until Elizabeth was near the table. Once her eyes fell upon Joel, a huge smile developed over her features and she eagerly set her plate down. Swiftly moving forward, Joel accepted Elizabeth into his arms when she jumped into them to wrap her arms tightly around his shoulders.

“You’re here!” she buried her nose against the side of Joel’s neck, hugging him tight. Considering how sad Elizabeth was when she learned that Joel wasn’t attending the party? This was a nice change of pace for Y/N. More than anything she liked seeing her children happy. And Joel made her children happy. “Uncle Tommy said you weren’t coming.”

“I changed my mind,” Joel kissed at the side of Elizabeth’s face letting out a groan when he lowered her back to her feet. “I wasn’t going to turn down spending time with my children at Christmas time. My daughter asked me to be here and I made sure that I was. Because you both are more important than anything else in my life.”

“Look at you dad,” Peter muttered setting down his plate at the table. Moving around the crowd, Peter moved in front of Joel who stepped back to look over himself. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look nice like this.”

“Thanks for that,” Joel snickered reaching out to wrap his arm around Peter’s shoulders to pull him close. Even though Peter was being blunt about him never looking that good, he knew what his son was trying to say. “You look good too.”

“I always look good,” Peter gave a big cheesy smile when Joel released him. Chuckling at his son’s antics, Joel pat the side of Peter’s face and shook his head. Rosita and Siddiq had just returned to the table with Coco as the group of them were talking.

Turning on his heel, Joel stopped when he saw Negan helping Elizabeth back into her seat. When she sat down, Negan held his hand out to Joel and offered a weak smile, “You do look sharp Joel. You clean up nice.”

“Right,” Joel looked down at Negan’s hand and there was tension in his features. Elizabeth was staring between the two of them along with Peter and Joel swallowed down hard. Accepting Negan’s handshake, Joel put a bit of pressure to it making Negan huff. Releasing Negan’s hand, Joel took the empty seat between where Siddiq was sitting and Elizabeth leaving Negan to lower down between Elizabeth and Peter again.

“That wasn’t at all awkward,” Rosita whispered as Negan’s hazel eyes connected with Y/N’s. Giving Negan an empathetic look, Y/N felt bad that this was becoming so awkward with Joel and Negan. Shaking his head, Negan didn’t want to draw attention to the negativity when he started talking to Peter about the desserts that they grabbed. “Joel is asserting his dominance.”

There was nothing Y/N could say. Rosita wasn’t wrong. Even by the way Joel kept shooting daggers at Negan with his eyes, Y/N could tell that there was an intense anger that Joel felt toward Negan. Negan felt it too, but he was doing his best to blow it off and keep doing what he had been doing this whole time. He was being civilized and polite despite how Joel was being.

“So…” Rosita picked up on the fact that the table went silent after Joel’s arrival. Things got weird. Even the children realized it. “What do you all want from Santa this year?”

Snickering to herself, Y/N covered her mouth to hide the amusement that she had from her friend trying to start some kind of conversation between all of them. It was somewhat successful because it got Peter talking about something he wanted for Christmas and it drew a conversation that interested Siddiq.

“Hey,” Negan leaned forward, pressing his hand over the table to brace himself. Getting Y/N’s attention, she leaned in closer in attempts to hear him over the music and loud talking that surrounded them. “Do you want to dance?”

“Sure,” Y/N agreed, her eyes following Negan after he whispered something to Elizabeth who nodded. Outstretching his hand, Negan helped Y/N out of her seat leading her toward the dancefloor. Joel’s eyes followed them all the way out to where they were. Turning away from Joel, she allowed Negan to wrap his arm around her hips to pull her close to him. With Negan hooking his fingers with hers she tried to focus solely on him. “I’m sorry about Joel.”

“I’m used to Joel,” Negan insisted with a wrinkle of his nose knowing that she was uncomfortable as it was. “You don’t have to apologize for Joel. His actions aren’t gonna make me wanna spend any less time with you and the children.”

“Most people would go running the other way,” she noted with how aggressive Joel had been toward Negan.

“I grew up with Joel. I know what he’s capable of,” Negan smirked with a shake of his head. Most men would be very uncomfortable with an ex-husband like Joel Miller, but Negan took everything in stride. “Plus? I’m a pro baseball player. I understand people can be aggressive. Players, fans, photographers…”

“Good point,” she shrugged as Negan continued to lead her on the dance floor. She was pleasantly surprised how good Negan actually was at dancing. “I don’t know how you do it. Handle everyone and continue to stay so calm. People eat out of the palm of your hand.”

“It’s really easy,” Negan commented spinning her about having her laughing as he did it. When she stumbled back in against his chest, he bit down on his bottom lip and snickered. “It’s all in the eyes. You lock eyes with the person you are with, you do something nice and even if it’s for a second that person is going to walk away thinking they’ve had an amazing experience. Even if you’re being cheeky and kind of an asshole. You keep good eye contact, give a nice smile and people suddenly become manageable.”

“Well, yeah, but you have those ridiculous dimples to help you,” she reminded Negan, lifting her free hand to squeeze at his cheeks. Snorting, Negan chuckled and pressed his forehead against hers. “Everyone is going to fall for those.”

“You can thank my daddy for those,” Negan snorted, stealing a quick kiss from her lips. “I am happy that you like them though.”

“There are so many good qualities to you,” she assured him, resting her head against the center of his chest while they danced. Cuddling his chin in against the top of her head, Negan hummed as they danced together.

“Liz is getting what she wanted,” Negan interrupted her thoughts causing her to look over her shoulder to see that Joel had joined Elizabeth out on the dancefloor. At the side of the dance floor it looked like Peter was taking photos of the two of them together. That alone made her happy since that was what Elizabeth had wanted all along. “You know, the only thing I worry about in our relationship is putting a wedge between him and the children. They do love him a lot and with him almost not coming here today…”

“It’s not your fault though,” she cut Negan off, placing her hand in over the center of Negan’s chest noticing the way his hazel eyes were watching Joel with Elizabeth. By the expression she could tell that he was blaming himself for Joel originally deciding not to show up tonight. There was probably some truth to it because Joel was jealous, but it wasn’t all Negan’s fault. “Joel never liked coming to these things. More than once I had to deny going up on stage and doing that stupid dance because Joel hated it. When we were younger Joel was very affectionate publicly, but the older we got the more private he grew. And he hated going to public events. This is completely out of his comfort zone.”

“If you were mine, I would have been showing you off to everyone every chance I was given,” Negan claimed, his eyelids growing heavy with him staring down at her. There it was again. Just with his words, he could take her breath away. “I know I was always the more outgoing one, but when you love someone, you want to step a little out of your comfort zone. Just to show them how much you care about them.”

“You are something else,” she whispered in awe of him, her fingers sweeping in against the side of his face. Something seemed to catch Negan’s attention in the distance evoking him to chuckle. Looking back, she was curious, “What?”

“His moves are a little rusty,” Negan pointed out with them both watching Joel together with Elizabeth. Out on the dancefloor Joel looked stiff as a board while he danced with his daughter.

“Don’t let him fool you. He knows how to dance,” Y/N informed Negan enjoying the way that Elizabeth laughed with Joel stumbling over himself. “He’s doing that to make her feel special. He wants to make her laugh and have her lead him.”

“Ah, that’s smooth,” Negan responded with a long exhale urging Y/N back to look at him while they danced together. “I can tell that he hates me.”

“He hates…most people,” she didn’t want to let that thought eat away at Negan. “He’s just not very happy with life right now and takes it out on others. You’re not doing anything wrong.”

“Well, I am,” Negan admitted, pulling her in closer to him and licking his lips. “You and I are getting closer and he doesn’t like that. And he doesn’t like that I’m close to the children. I know it’s a jealousy thing. But he’s just gonna have to deal because I’m not going anywhere.”

Smirking, she was glad to hear him say that. Especially since a lot of people would be intimidated and run the other way. Negan could have anyone in this town. Yet he chose to spend time with her. And he wasn’t letting Joel chase him away. That alone was impressive and really made her feel special.

“There is something strange about this town. I mean there always fucking was,” Negan rambled on, swirling her around a bit on the dance floor. “I can never really tell if the people are always staring at me because of who I am. Or they are surprised that the two of us are together.”

“What do you mean by that?” she wondered, looking around realizing that Negan was right. People were watching the two of them. Stealing looks here and there.

“I do question if most of this town thinks it should be Joel that is here with you. Not me,” Negan stressed what he was feeling, his head tipping from side to side. Confusion flooded her features at the idea and Negan shrugged. “I think people expect to see Joel with you. Not me.”

“I think I would go more with the whole gawking because you are a celebrity thing,” she thought aloud, hooking her arms around Negan’s neck as they slow danced together. Stroking her fingers at the dark curls of hair at the bottom of his neck, she shrugged simply. “Joel and I have been split up for over four years now. People aren’t going to suddenly get back together after four years. If the people aren’t used to the idea of me being with someone else? Well, that’s their problem.”

“Still, people get certain ideas in their heads,” Negan grumbled under his breath, the bridge of his nose wrinkling. “Instead of seeing a person as a person, they see them as a duo. It was never just Negan. It was Negan and Lucille for these kind of people. Small towns. For you. It was Joel and Y/N. Y’know? I think they get confused to see that Negan Smith got thrown into the mix when it was always Joel and Y/N.”

“I think the people of this town were always too eager to throw their noses in other people’s business,” Y/N offered her input on the situation. “It was part of what I wanted to get away from. Small towns. Big judgements. Hateful opinions. People who didn’t keep their mouths shut about things that didn’t relate to them. Truthfully? They can think whatever they want. It’s a small town, it’s what you expect. But I don’t care what people think. Because I like spending time with you and that’s all that matters to me. I wish we could have been doing it all along.”

“The spending time together or the sex part?” Negan joked with a snort, getting her to lower one of her hands to swat at the center of his chest. “I’m just kidding. I wish we would have been doing this all along too. I missed you. Very fucking much.”

“Ditto,” she replied, tipping up on her toes to meet Negan in a lingering kiss.

“Can I be honest with you about something? And not have you get upset with me?” Negan breathed against her lips speaking softly. A nervous nod followed, but she didn’t know what to expect with Negan’s eyes narrowing once he looked her over. “The person in charge of this event came to me. They wanted to make you and me the snow king and queen this year. I thought it would be wrong using my celebrity status for something like that. Especially since I don’t even live here. So I asked them to make Tommy and Maria the king and queen this year.”

“Well that’s really sweet,” she stressed to Negan who tipped his head to the side, surprised that was the first thing to come out of her mouth. “What did you expect from me? To be highly angry and upset that you didn’t allow us to stand in front of the town uncomfortably?”

“I don’t know,” Negan admitted, his hazel eyes searching hers in amazement. “I didn’t want you to think that I didn’t want to have the spotlight on us or anything. I really care about you and I don’t want this to seem like some kind of publicity stunt to get attention.”

“I support your decision completely,” she hushed him, bringing him in to press another quick kiss against his lips. “I’m not offended at all and I actually think you made the right decision.”

After the song was over, someone got up on stage which had the music dying out. The room grew quiet and everyone had stopped dancing. Realizing that they were about to get to the whole traditions of the party, she hooked her hand with Negan’s while heading back to the table. This time Elizabeth had moved to sit by Joel while they talked so Y/N took the seat between Negan and Peter. A lot of the talking was promoting the local businesses that helped put this party together.

“I find this whole thing to be embarrassing,” she leaned forward to whisper in Negan’s ear while he sat beside her. “Having to go up on stage, accept this honorary award even though we’re divorced and no longer together. Some of these couples haven’t been together in a very long time. It’s just strange.”

“I understand,” Negan leaned in to press a kiss against her cheek hoping to calm her since she was obviously uncomfortable about what was going on.

At this point they were calling all of the past winners up on stage. Embarrassment was flooding her entire body. Some of the couples they were calling up were both younger and older than them. And all the while? Joel’s chocolate-colored eyes were locked on her, watching her closely. By the time that they called their names, neither Joel nor Y/N moved.

“Dad! Mom!” Elizabeth nudged Joel who rolled his eyes. Negan gave Y/N’s shoulder a firm squeeze hinting things would be okay and that he was there to support her. Standing up, Joel extended his hand out slowly. Looking to his hand, Y/N accepted it and moved around the table. While others were excited to have the spotlight put on them again, quickly moving to the stage, the two of them were taking their time.

“Don’t act like you hate this,” Joel grumbled under his breath, his fingers hooking with hers tightly. Joel was speaking quietly enough so only she would be able to hear him. “There was a time when you loved this. Every time we won this, you were awe stricken.”

“I was head over heels in love with you Joel,” she reminded him as he helped her up the stairs of the stage. They made it to about mid-stage where they stopped with the other couples. “The fact the people of the town thought we were the ‘it’ couple for so long made me feel special back then.”

“You didn’t need the town to make you feel special,” Joel whispered, the warmth of his breath lingering over her flesh. From where they were on stage, it was hard to see anyone out in the audience. There was a bright spotlight that was pointed directly at them and it was very blinding. “You liked having the attention. It’s okay to admit that.”

Closing her eyes, she tried to count to herself knowing that there was so much she wanted to say, but now was not the time or place. She wasn’t paying much attention to the people that were on stage when they started handing out sashes to the previous winners. Allowing them to put her sash on while they worked Joel’s over his shoulder, she let out a long sigh. Looking at the dates they won, she realized that they had won this five times in the past. Dragging her fingers over the dates, she felt her throat tightening up thinking about her past. As the lights dimmed, she looked back over her shoulder. This was just like every other year, but for some reason things were bothering her more. Each year they took a photo of each of the winners where they would play a video in the background showing all of the photos. Obviously, some of the couples were missing. Due to them moving, or not being here anymore. By the time the video got to their first time winning, it made a breath catch in her throat. Their first win was when Joel was eighteen. Seeing the young photo of them had an ache growing at the center of her chest.

“These are so creepy,” Joel whispered in her ear looking over his shoulder like she was. “This feels like a remembrance video. Like I’m dead or something and I’m not. You’re not. This feels less like a celebration and more like a sorrowful remembrance of what things used to be.”

Really? He wasn’t wrong. That’s exactly what this felt like.

Each photo of the two of them together had that lump in her throat growing. For a couple that was together sixteen years and married thirteen of those years, winning this thing five times was actually a pretty good record. Even in the photos, they looked so happy in the first four. And back then that made her proud. Their relationship felt so happy for so long and the town saw it too. The last time they won snow king and queen together was five years before they got divorced. After that? They stopped winning it. Maybe that was right around the time their relationship started going to shit. The town likely picked up on them not being that loving, obvious couple out in public.

“Our town has always been old fashioned,” she responded to Joel who let out a long exhale. By his breathing she could tell that Joel didn’t want to be up there. Really, she didn’t want to be either. It was the one time she actually agreed with Joel.

By the time the lights came back on Joel was playing with his sash, his attention hardly kept. Hearing the announcement of the newest snow king and queen came with a bit of a shock for Joel. Just like Negan had told her, it was Tommy and Maria. Confusion flooded through Joel’s features when the spotlight was pointed directly at his little brother and his new girlfriend.

“The two of them have only been together…what…two weeks?” Joel grumbled under his breath, tensing up beside her when Tommy slowly stood from his chair and started to help Maria out of her seat. “I guess since he’s dating the mayor’s daughter that makes sense though.”

That wasn’t something she was going to comment on. Especially since she knew this was Negan’s doing with having Tommy and Maria winning. That would certainly piss Joel off to no end. So she kept her mouth shut.

“I imagine daddy has something to do with this, don’t you?” Joel stammered as Tommy helped Maria move up the steps of the stage. Nudging Joel slightly with her arm, she tried to get him to be quiet. Both Tommy and Maria seemed awkward as they accepted their sashes along with their crowns. Clearly, neither one of them expected to win this which put them on the spot. And Tommy was never really someone that liked being the center of attention. Especially with a town that was so quick to judge him for his mistakes.

“Maybe more people noticed their diner meet ups than they thought?” Y/N suggested with a sigh feeling a bit embarrassed with the part that was coming up with the dancing. “I never really understood how they picked them anyways. But at least they picked Tommy. Tommy has never been picked for anything. So he has to feel good.”

“Or incredibly nervous because nothing ever works for Tommy,” Joel reminded her as she hushed him by covering his mouth with her fingers. Glaring over at Y/N with her covering his mouth, Joel reached for her wrist curling his fingers loosely around them. Getting her to lower her hand, Joel bit down on his bottom lip and huffed. In that moment Tommy had looked back at Joel who had given Tommy a thumbs up and it made Tommy smile.

“Be supportive of this Joel,” she urged him allowing the person in charge to give the instructions. Which told them all to get on the dancefloor together. This was the part that made her the most uncomfortable. Having to dance with Joel again in front of everyone. Taking her hand in his, Joel led her carefully down the stairs toward the center of the ballroom. Tension flooded Joel’s body when he hooked his thick fingers with hers. As the music started, they both did their best to not show their discomfort with one another while they danced. “This will be a big deal for Tommy. This is the first time in a long time I think he’s felt this way about anyone or anything really.”

“Everything is a big deal with Tommy,” Joel claimed, keeping his voice down since Tommy wasn’t too far away from where they were dancing. “Speaking of big deals, am I to assume that you and Negan are now dating?”

“And that’s your business how?” she shot back eliciting an eye roll from Joel. Scoffing under his breath, Joel visibly didn’t like her answer.

“That’s a yes,” he was quick to respond being a bit rough with the way he pulled her in closer to him.

“That’s not a yes,” she shook her head, her eyes showing the irritation she had for him right now. “I was saying it was none of your business, but if you must know…we haven’t put a label on things. We’re just spending time together.”

“So I reckon that means that the two of you slept together, huh?” Joel caused her to grow hot in the face with her looking down between them. That told him everything and she didn’t have to say a word. “Nice Y/N.”

“You were the one telling me that I should have got laid by someone other than you,” she recalled what Joel had said to her that night at the historic village when she brought up their relationship. “You can’t get mad at me for finding comfort with someone else when you were dating Tess. Or when you’ve slept with God knows who…”

“I didn’t want you running off to Negan Smith,” Joel snarled down at her realizing that he was getting a little loud and he lowered his voice. Hearing that had her face growing hot with anger. “Of all the people you decide to knock boots with, it’s him? Him of all people?”

“What do you have against Negan?” she asked bluntly noticing that Joel was staring off toward the table that they were sitting at previously. His dark eyes seemed to be locked on Negan who threw them a thumbs up from where he was seated beside both Peter and Elizabeth. “He was one of your best friends at one point. We both were close to him.”

“Was being the main word there. He kicked you out of his life the moment that we got together,” Joel reminded her of what Negan had done in the past. Narrowing his eyes, Joel turned them away from looking at the table so that she was focused on him. “What has Negan told you about me?”

“What is that supposed to mean?” she felt like this was more so an interrogation instead of the two of them dancing together. Which is exactly why she wasn’t looking forward to this at all. “What is Negan supposed to tell me about you exactly?”

“Nothing,” Joel declared, loosening up while they continued to dance. Watching Tommy, Joel did notice that he did look happy while he talked to Maria. There was a color in Tommy’s face, but he never stopped smiling while he danced with the woman before him. It reminded him of how things used to be when he was with Y/N when they were younger. “You know, I never expected us to be like this. I never thought I’d have to worry about you finding someone else.”

“That’s not really fair, is it?” she felt her heart racing in her chest having a chill run down her spine with the way that Joel’s hand settled in over the small of her back. Having his chocolate brown eyes staring out at her the way he was took her breath away. “You’re allowed to find someone else, but I’m not?”

“I just mean…” Joel let his thoughts linger, his voice growing quiet when he shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know Y/N. I remember doing this the first time almost two decades ago. I felt like the luckiest boy alive. I was smitten. And then when we won the second time the year we got married, I don’t know. I just thought there was no way that I could ever get sick of this. Sick of you. Because I was so in love with you and I saw what the town saw that year. Because I never thought it would be possible that a man could love a woman as much as I loved you.”

Those words hit her harder than he expected them to. It had tears burning at her eyes and she grew tense against him, “I always thought it would be Joel and Y/N. Us against the world. And I thought we’d grow old together. I never saw another option. Because you were it for me.”

“Damn it Joel,” she stopped dancing, but her hand was still hooked with his. A hurt exhale fell from her throat when she shook her head. There were tears over her face now causing an ache to grow at the center of his chest. “You’re the one that asked me for a divorce. You’re the one that came to me with papers and now you’re talking like I’m the reason that we are divorced.”

By now Tommy had caught on to the fact that Y/N was crying. He was trying to force himself to keep dancing, but his dark eyes had a hard time breaking away from Joel and Y/N. Right now they allowed everyone else to come up onto the dance floor to dance and she was thankful for it because it drew any attention on them away with the couples that actually loved each other and cared about one another wanting to spend the time together.

“I did everything I could to try to fix us,” her hand was shaking when she lifted it to place it over the center of her chest. “I loved you with everything that I was. I would have done anything to fix our marriage, but you’re the one who wanted it to end. Not me. So how dare you say all of this to me? I’m not the reason we’re divorced Joel. You are. I begged you to reconsider. And you wouldn’t.”

Dropping his head, Joel’s dark eyes avoided looking at her when she threw her hands up in the air, “I felt everything you said you felt in the past. I was happy. I loved my life and even though you were so fucking mean toward the end of our marriage…I knew that it was just you depressed. Because deep down you loved me. You were an amazing man. You made a life for your family. You loved your children so much, but each day you were with me I saw you die a little more inside. Do you know how much it hurt to have you blame everything on me?”

“I didn’t blame everything on you,” Joel reasoned with her hoping that everyone wasn’t hearing what they were saying. Rolling her eyes, she started heading away from Joel, pushing through him to get away from the dance floor. More than anything she needed some air and to get away from everyone. No one needed to see her crying like a fool. Leaving the ballroom, she was close to getting outside by the time she felt someone grabbing a tight hold of her wrist to stop her. “Can we just talk? Please?”

“What do you want to talk about Joel?” she inquired feeling broken as it was. “Do you know that the children blamed me when we got divorced? Asked me why I didn’t fight harder for you? Why I let you leave? They were so mad at me for forcing you out. I never had the heart to tell them that their father was the one that wanted to run away. That it was him that couldn’t stand to be in that house anymore.”

“We were both miserable,” Joel suggested, his fingers slowly falling from her wrist when he rest his hands at his hips. “If we wanted a healthy relationship with our children…”

“Don’t,” she held her hand up in the air to cut him off. “I wasn’t miserable. I was heartbroken because I didn’t understand what it was that I did to make you hate me so much. You went from being the sweetest, most affectionate man I had ever known to being a man who reminded me every day the mistake you made in picking me. In picking us.”

“The mistake I made was how I treated you,” Joel grumbled, his jaw flexing with her sobs filling the hallway. Seeing her crying like that had his chest hurting. He wanted her pain to end, but he didn’t know how to fix it. “I had the whole world in my hands, but all I could think about was what I didn’t have. What I was robbed of. It’s not fair that I had to give up my life for everyone else Y/N. I could have been someone. I could have meant something to the world, but instead I’m stuck in this fucking place.”

“You were always someone Joel,” she stressed, throwing her hands up in the air in frustration. “You were the boy that was selfless and chose to take care of his brother instead of leaving him with strangers. You were a father. You were my husband. And you were and you still are so incredibly loved. So for you to think you haven’t left an impact on this world is sad because you did. That was the problem. You could only see the life that you missed out on. Not the life that you built for yourself. The life that loved you so very much.”

“I’m sorry,” Joel found himself at a loss of words. Caressing at the back of his neck, he tried to gather his thoughts. “I don’t know what to say because my emotions are conflicted about everything that happened. I know how I felt when we were married, but I know how I feel now. And how I feel about you is strong. I made the mistake back then. Not when I got married to you because being married to you was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“You play with me Joel,” she held her hands up to stop him when he approached her and she placed her hands in over his chest to keep the distance between them. “You take advantage of the fact that I’m head over heels in love with you. You know how I feel about you. You always have.”

Silence filled the empty hallways. Nothing but the sounds from the ballroom where the party was being held were heard. It made her let out an ironic laugh and she shook her head.

“Do you have any idea how many times we’ve had sex since we’ve separated?” she quizzed him on something hearing a loud exhale follow from Joel. Taking a moment to think things over, Joel threw his hand up in the air and she nodded her head. “You’d be surprised how big the number is Joel. Even moments where you were dating Tess…”

“I’m aware,” Joel was confused where this was headed noticing the tremoring in her voice with her speaking. Having her remind him that he cheated on Tess to be with her would only further for him that Y/N was more important to him.

“You always come back to me. You always make me believe that you love me. That there is something between us, but I always end up the same way,” she hissed, her voice growing louder and Joel motioned her to keep calm. “Alone.”

Joel’s lips parted, his eyebrows furrowing when he tried to think of something to say, “You don’t love me. You just love what I can do for you. If you actually loved me, if you missed how things were you would do something to prove it Joel.”

“I don’t know how,” Joel called out to her when she turned on her heel and started to push open the door.

“And that’s the problem,” she didn’t even bother to look back at him when she made her way outside. Pretty quickly she realized just how much of a mistake it was to come outside with no jacket on, but she didn’t care. She needed her space. Heading into where the garden would be during the summer, she went to the center and tried to catch her breath. The sound of snow crunching behind her was heard and it made her tense up. “Joel, damn it…”

“Not Joel,” another familiar southern drawl was heard behind her when she turned around to see that Tommy was approaching her. The sight of him still wearing the crown and the sash that he wore tonight took her breath away. The last thing Tommy should have been doing was chasing her out. “What did he do now?”

“Tommy, you shouldn’t be out here,” she attempted to wipe at the tears that were over her face knowing that this should be a happy moment for Tommy, but instead he was following her out because he had seen her sad.

“Of course I should be,” Tommy stepped forward, stretching his arms out to reach for Y/N. Embracing her in his arms, he pulled her in against him and wrapped her up tightly. Squeezing her firmly, she knew that he was attempting to comfort her. “I love you. You’re my family and to see you upset makes me upset.”

“I love you too,” she repeated, allowing her head to rest against the center of Tommy’s chest when he stroked his fingers over the back of her neck. “I’m sorry about this. You just know that your brother can get under my skin more than anyone.”

“What did he do now?” Tommy was desperate to know with her pushing back slightly to stare up at him with her tear-filled eyes. “Please talk to me. I’m not that little boy you had to adopt Y/N. I’m here for you. You were there for me. And you remain that way. So please talk to me.”

“Tommy,” she felt her chest aching seeing the sadness in Tommy’s eyes staring out at her. Reaching up, she adjusted his crown that he was given and she shook her head. “You should be in there celebrating this right now. You care so much about that girl…”

“And that girl knows what you’ve done for me,” Tommy educated her about Maria, his hands lifting to cup her face in them in a supportive sweep. “So she understands what you mean to me. We have all night to cherish this. I want to be here with you right now.”

“I’m just too emotional,” she brushed off her feelings, but Tommy hushed her and shook his head. “I don’t know Tommy, he just started talking about how he always pictured that we would be together. That I would be his always and it would be us against the world. The way he talks about things, it’s like he puts the blame on me for the divorce, but you know just as much as I do that he was the one that asked for the divorce. He’s the one that walked out on me. He’s the one that forced me to sign those papers. Yet, he talks like I fell out of love with him when you know that I never did.”

“I think he just has a lot of regrets,” Tommy tried to reason with her about his older brother. “He’s emotionally…constipated.”

A laugh fell from Y/N’s lips hearing Tommy refer to his brother in that way. With an innocent shrug, Tommy didn’t know how else to explain Joel, “I think there are so many emotions that he has bottled up inside of him that he doesn’t know how to handle. So he just puts up this tough guy exterior and he doesn’t know how to turn it off.”

“But he hurts me in the process,” she whimpered noticing the way that Tommy dug into his pockets for a tissue for her. “I probably look psychotic right now. My make up is likely running and…”

“It’s a good make up job because nothing is running,” Tommy assured her with a weak smile caressing his hand in over her shoulder. “I’m sorry about Joel. The biggest mistake he ever made was letting you go Y/N. And I think he’s starting to realize that.”

Laughing at the idea, Y/N shook her head and had to look away from Tommy to have a minute to consider that, “I don’t think having Negan around is helping him either.”

“Too bad,” Y/N stammered hating to hear that the person who was going above and beyond to help her feel better was such a problem to Joel. “Negan has been nothing but good to me. He goes out of his way to make me feel good about me. And he’s so good and accepting of all the things going on in my life.”

“And I wouldn’t expect you to let go of that,” Tommy claimed his hands lowering down to squeeze hers tenderly. “I’m just telling you that my brother is upset because ultimately he sees everything that he wanted to be in Negan. He wanted to be famous. He wanted to be able to go and use his talents to have the world loving him. Then Negan shows up and he has you smiling. He has you laughing. Anyone with eyes can tell that Negan likes you by the way he looks at you. Joel is jealous because he could never accomplish the things that Negan does. So he’s a bigger mess now than he ever was.”

“It’s not fair that now is the time he decides to do all of this,” she hated to be whining, but it hurt with what Joel was doing. “I was there for four years. He could have made his move, but now because I have someone who genuinely cares about me…”

Footsteps drew both Tommy and Y/N to look back seeing that it was Negan that was approaching them, “I can come back if you’d like?”

“Truthfully?” Tommy looked between Negan and Y/N letting out a tense breath. “I think you are probably the thing that she needs the most.”

“Tommy,” she called out to him, stroking her fingers over the back of Tommy’s hand. “You are the sweetest boy I’ve ever known.”

“And I wouldn’t have picked another woman to help raise me,” Tommy vowed, bringing her hand up to press a kiss over the back of it. “I’m always going to be here for you Y/N. Even if my brain isn’t always in the right place, I just want you happy. And I love you.”

“I love you too,” she repeated once more, stepping forward to wrap Tommy up in her arms to give him a big hug. Stroking her fingers over the back of Tommy’s head, she turned in to press a kiss against Tommy’s cheek. “Now you go in there and woo that girl. Show her how lucky she is to be sharing this moment with you.”

Nodding, Tommy slowly released her and then turned to Negan patting him on the arm, “Take care of her.”

“Yes sir,” Negan gave a wink starting to undo his suit jacket. Letting it fall down his arms, Negan carefully stepped forward moving in behind her. “Let’s warm you up.”

Allowing him to help put his jacket on her had her sighing loudly. Tugging the material in closer to her body, she felt the warmth of it soothing against her chilled skin. The scent of Negan’s cologne was strong and she found herself rubbing her cheek up against it. Closing her eyes, she felt Negan’s arms hooking around her from behind. A gentle kiss was placed against the base of her neck which had his short beard tickling at her flesh.

“Are you okay?” Negan nuzzled his nose against the back of her neck. Lowering her arms, she caressed over them while he comforted her.

“I’m sorry Negan,” she apologized, leaning back into him. Even though she had Negan who was perfect at that party, Joel was able to get under her skin so badly with the things that happened in their past. Firmly, Negan squeezed his arms around her and cuddled her close. “Here you are as my date and I’m having a meltdown outside.”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Negan insisted with her turning in his arms to give him a doubtful expression. Lifting his hand, his palm caressed in over the side of her face with his eyelids growing heavy. The contrast from the warmth of his hand against the side of her face felt nice. “You don’t. I’m not upset with you. At all.”

“I don’t understand how you couldn’t be,” she replied placing her hands in over his chest to caress over the area. There was so much baggage that she had to deal with and Negan had been a saint so far in their relationship. “I’m a fucking mess.”

“And so am I,” Negan suggested with a grunt, his nose wrinkling as if that wasn’t a big deal to him. “I am so fucked up over losing Lucille. And it’s so hard for me every day being alive when I know that she’s not. I am still head over heels in love with my late wife, so I’m not going to judge you for being the same way about your ex-husband.”

Hearing him calling her out on still being in love with Joel drew her to tremor and she looked down, but he didn’t allow it. Curling his fingers in underneath her chin had her lifting her head to lock eyes with him, “The difference between me and you is that I had it easier.”

“How?” she blurt out, doubting that since the person he loved was no longer here.

“The woman that I loved, I lost. She’s gone,” Negan reasoned, his head tipping from side to side. “The love of my life died. But yours…he’s still here. And he left you knowing that you loved him like you do. Lucille left me not because she wanted to but because the world took her away from me. Joel left and you have to see him every day knowing that he’s there.”

“Well shit,” she grunted closing her eyes, leaning further into Negan’s touch. Gently he swept at her tears, still trying to calm her.

“I understand if you want to be with Joel,” Negan was quiet in the way that he spoke making her eyes flutter to an open. Sweeping away one of her lingering tears, Negan hushed her and shook his head. “I won’t be mad at you for loving Joel. I know you do. I can see it in the way you look at him. If you want me to back off, I will happily do it. Fuck, I just need to make sure to keep you in my life as a friend or some shit because I can’t lose you again.”

“I don’t want to lose you,” she responded, her hands caressing in over Negan’s shoulders. Deeply considering what he said, she shook her head and let out a tremoring breath. “I love Joel, very much. And the man will always have a strong grasp on my heart, but no one has ever hurt me like Joel has. Joel broke my heart. And I’m a mess because of him.”

“You’re not a mess,” Negan whispered, caressing his fingers at the back of her neck. Pulling her in closer to him, Negan allowed her to rest her head against the center of his chest. “You’re just hurt. And you’re human. You loved Joel for a very long time, that kind of love is hard to let go of.”

Tipping down, Negan pressed a tender kiss over her forehead and it had her sighing loudly, “I can’t be with Joel. As much as I love him, he will never love me back the same way. The only thing I’m destined for if I get back with Joel is a life full of pain. Loving someone that much and not feeling it in return? The only option from there on out is heart break. I’ve given him so many chances. And I can’t take any more of that because I don’t know how much of my heart I have left to break.”

“Come here,” Negan urged her to him, holding her close. Allowing her to calm down in his arms, Negan whispered the things that he knew she needed to hear. By the time she was finally relaxed, he had his chin resting over her head and he was rubbing at her back. “I think we should get you back inside before you freeze to death.”

Accepting his hand, she allowed Negan to cautiously lead her back to the building. Once they were back inside, Joel stepped out from behind the back wall where he had gone after she left the building. Originally he had chased after her but had fallen short when he heard her crying. There was nothing he could think of to make her feel better and before he could try, Tommy came out to comfort her. Which means he heard everything that she said to both Tommy and Negan.

Ultimately? It made him feel terrible and he knew that if he wanted something more with Y/N, he was going to have to do his best to show her that he loved her. One way or another.

----

Tags: @chainsawsangel @fancypeacepersona @violent-darkness @negansbestie @elegantfanficluv

@sanctuaryforthelost @dead-of-niight @dilfsandmartinis

#Negan #Joel Miller #The Last of Us #The Walking Dead #Negan fanfiction #Joel Miller fanfiction #Jeffrey Dean Morgan #Pedro Pascal #Negan x reader #Joel Miller x reader #Negan Smith #The Walking Dead fanfiction #The Last of Us fanfiction #Negan x you #joel miller x you #tlou fanfiction #twd fanfiction #Tommy Miller

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your-unfriendlyghost · 7 months ago

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Mason McCormick for the character thingy pls and thank you 🙏🙏🙏

Sweet, Mace! (Idk what my current design for him is but it looks like this rn lol)

How I feel about this character

I like him! He’s a lot like Darry, but I find him more relatable because of the sarcasm lol. He’s had to grow up too fast, and he needs to get outta Oklahoma poor guy. I wanna give him…not a hug, but a pat on the back maybe. And a parental figure who’s significantly better than his father. I like Mason. He’s like Darry if Darry got out. If Darry didn’t have Ponyboy, only Soda. If Darry didn’t have to stay so strong, I guess. Not that Mace isn’t strong, he’s hella strong. But idk, he did it. He got free and I’m sorta proud of him for that.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

No one really, but there’s no one his age he can really bounce off of in canon other than his buddy Robert Collins and I guess Lem. But he told Lem that he’d kill him if he ever saw him again, so…yeah, no, don’t think that’s gonna happen. If someone were to make a Mason x OC fic tho I’d probably read it even tho I don’t usually go for that kind of thing- idk I think I just wanna see Mason getting support and being happier lol

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Well, Tex, I guess. It feels like kind of an obvious answer, since their conflict is the story more or less, but idk. They’re brothers. They hate each other. They love each other. Mason needs independence, and Tex needs Mason. There’s no easy way out, and either way it’s gonna end sorta sadly. Not tragically like the Outsiders, but sadly. Bittersweetly.

“He’s my brother even if he ain’t your son.” ough. This line kills me in the best way.

My unpopular opinion about this character

He ain’t super well known so all the opinions I have are unpopular kinda lol. I think he’s shy, though. Not around Tex, obviously (who’s shy around their little siblings?), but at school. He’s popular, even though he’s apparently not as good-looking as some less popular guys, and he’s cold towards people or at least cool. I think he seems stuck up, when really he’s shy. (Like how Bryon saw Ponyboy in TWTTIN) He also seems kinda non-confrontational, maybe not outta shyness as much as…laziness? That’s not the right word exactly but I can’t think of a better one. But like how he didn’t warn Tex about having to sell Negrito, how he never once mentioned to Pop that he knew Tex wasn’t Pop’s son, how he wouldn’t tell Tex about why he was going to the hospital, and how he just lied about not wanting to go to the fair. (Ok that’s purely headcanon there. I think he wanted to go tho, or maybe he was lying to himself about not wanting to go.) I don’t think he likes delving into his thoughts about things if it takes too much effort, ig.

I also think he resents the fact that he’s from Bixby/Garyville (In the movie it’s Bixby, in the book it’s Garyville. Idk why.) and not Tulsa. There’s more opportunities in the city. I mean, Tex resents being seen as a country hick- I feel like Mason resents it just as much if not more. He likes being taken seriously.

Oh and idk if this counts as an unpopular opinion but I’m not that fond of the guy who played him in the movie. He did good, but he was not 18 istg. He was 31 and looked 31, which made it real hard to buy him as a stressed 18 year old. Not my Mason smh

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Idk, it woulda been nice to see him interact with his peers a bit more, like how we got to see Soda and Steve being friends in the bg of Outsiders…Then again, maybe he doesn’t have any friendships like that. I dunno if I do, so someone cold like Mason may not. He’s friends with Robert Collins tho, so that counts for something?

#mason mccormick #tex book #tex se hinton #tex 1982 #the outsiders #ask #ask game #rambling #my art

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weirdestcountryhumans · 6 months ago

Text

Enemy x Enemy ships (Why they can be a problem)

I know Enemies to Lovers is popular, but this is just a little silly.

Also offensive, considering politics and the history of those countries. It is something that can work, especially under certain circumstances, but something I rarely see portrayed well, and it just seems like people want to shove two enemies together and say, "Now kiss!"

First, I want to explain why these ships are often bad, and some examples of what I think are both the worst enemy x enemy ships, why I think that, and how someone should actually portray a relationship like that.

These ships are often bad because they purposely ignore history, current diplomatic relations, and people's real feelings about other countries. It creates this strange universe in which tensions between countries can't cause wars, genocides, or any terrible number of things but instead causes them to have (typically gay) sex. It is ignorant of the actual nations in favor of making countries OCs with which you want to have a relationship.

If you're going to do it, you can at least do it respectfully and considerately instead of discarding the relationship and history of those countries to fit your own personal preference. Enemies to lovers can be a really good storytelling device and a very good trope, but only when used correctly.

This fandom rarely uses it correctly, so all the ships feel forced at worst or straight-up toxic at best.

To each their own, of course, but I think this is a type of ship people need to think through a little bit more.

Thus, I have examples of popular ships I see and the problems/logistics that come about as a result of them.

RusAme

Come on. You read the title of the post and knew this was going to be included. It's probably one of, if not the most popular ship in the countryhumans fandom for reasons I cannot comprehend.

One, as I will talk to more when I get to SovAme down below, but for all of 1917-1991, the USSR and the US really weren't on the best of terms, even as allies, and I don't think there would be any time for romance to form. Not to mention, Russia isn't even the country at this point, just a subdivision of the USSR, so his interaction with America is limited at best.

Then you have the period of modern Russia. Again, despite the fall of communism, the USA and Russia still are not on good terms. I can see them maybe being friends, but I just don't think the political climate and the lack of contact would lend itself towards romantic feelings.

That's why I don't get why this ship is popular. It makes no sense (aside from a few AUs I have seen, but the fact is, if you need an AU to give them the basis needed for a relationship, then it's probably not something you should be acting like irl history supports.

To me, the prevalence of this ship seems to come from the fact that most people know about the tensions and dislike between Russia and the USA, a legacy of the Cold War, and people act like that is excuse enough for them to be dating.

If politics barely allows for them to be friends, then why the hell are they dating?

SovAme

Using the Cold War as a justification for sexual tension doesn't make any sense. The people of both nations hated each other to the point that they were willing to have a bunch of proxy wars to try to eliminate countries that supported the other. This doesn't make sense as a ship. Americans celebrated when the USSR died. Do you really think they were dating or that they were even friends? I can see them respecting each other as coworkers/nations AT MOST.

Just doesn't make any sense. There was never a time when a romantic relationship could have developed.

America x China

I don't really get this one at all. The US government has always been more supportive of Taiwan than the PRC. When the UN voted to let the PRC replace Taiwan as the representative of China, the US voted against it. When the US government first recognized the PRC, many Americans, even to this day, believed that they had betrayed Taiwan. Even now, most Americans learn of Taiwan as its own country. I've never seen it portrayed in a way that makes any sense.

I know the government's wants and the people's wants can be different, but this is just an odd matchup that I don't think has any real ground to stand on at any time from the PRC's creation until now.

GerPol

As said in my colony x colonizer post, it's weird and offensive to ship someone with their colonizer. Yes, Germany colonized Poland. While it was Nazi Germany, and most people ship Poland with Modern (West) Germany, I still think this is a ship that is of poor taste. Poland has been fucked over by their neighbors even before the Nazis were a thing, including the German Empire.

I cannot see Poland dating any version of Germany. Many people in Poland still view the Germans as their oppressors, and anti-German rhetoric is sometimes used by Polish political parties. Poland isn't Germany's friend, let alone partner.

Lastly, most people have them getting together through "Oh, Germany felt bad for nazi Germany's actions to Poland, yada yada yada, now they're dating." It's a terrible basis for any relationship, and as explained before, even if Poland had accepted the apology, he's still not a big fan of Germany. It just makes no sense because they wouldn't even be friends.

Japan x China

Similar to GerPol, shipping a country with a country they still have poor relations and recent history with is terrible. While Japan never succeeded in taking control of all of China, they colonized much of Northern China and established puppet states there, as well as committing horrific war crimes there. Not to mention, anti-Japanese sentiment is still very strong in China, so shipping them together is just in poor taste.

Portugal x Spain

This ship is not one I see that often, but I just want to add it for one major reason: these guys are most definitely related. Any ship between them is very incest-filled and weird, even without the whole enemies thing. I think it's one that is just best to avoid.

FrUK

Yeah, betcha didn't see this one coming.

In all honesty, FrUK is actually a ship I like a lot, but it's a ship that is never portrayed in a way that makes sense.

One: Yes, FrUK is enemies to lovers. France and Britain were at war for most of their shared existence, a rivalry that Britain inherited from England. During the 18th and 19th centuries, a relationship between the two of them makes no sense, as they are still actively competing rivals that are often going to war with each other to gain power and each other's colonies. A relationship during this time, at the height of their rivalry?

It makes no sense. Their governments and people would hate it, so there is really no basis for it. This is the flaw I see in this relationship a lot. France and Britain portrayed as being madly in love in a time where they are at war.

Second, France and Britain are currently allies, so I can see how, over the course of the two world wars, they could fall in love and begin to date. It helps that they are actually good allies now.

In short, this is probably one of the most popular enemies to lovers ships that actually makes sense. People just need to be more patient in waiting to portray them as together.

Also, stop making them both the biological parents of the United States, Canada, Australia, and New Zealand.

First, as said before, Britain and France were enemies during the period of time in which they were born, so they would not be together. Second, the timelines and history behind that make no sense. The United States was colonized in 1585/1607 (depending if you have him be born with Jamestown or Roanoke) and Canada was colonized in 1608.

Both of them were born before Britain (created in 1707) and France (if you have modern-day France be born during the French Revolution, 1792), so them being the parents of Canada and the USA make no sense. Also, the French didn't help the English colonies in America, so why is France his mom?

The French also did not colonize Australia and New Zealand, so there is no reason for France to be their mother. Also, it completely takes the Aboriginals and the Māori out of this story of Australia and New Zealand completely by having them be the children of two white Europeans.

Any WW2 Ally x An Axis Power

The worst of this is ThirdUnion, which no one should be doing at all, something I explain more it depth here.

TLDR: The Nazis killed queer people, Slavs, and communists in the Holocaust and regarded them as subhuman. Nazi Germany is not dating a Queer Slav communists. Nazi Germany is killing a person like that.

As for anyone else, it doesn't make any sense. I think the most common one I see after Thirdunion is America x the Empire of Japan, which is wrong on so many levels.

If you do even the slightest bit of surface-level research into either of these countries during WW2, you are going to see that they despise each other, and both regularly talk about how they are going to destroy the other. Add in the racism from the time period; it just makes even less sense. This isn't a ship that can work.

These countries were in the middle of the bloodiest war in human history when they were trying to kill each other. They aren't putting that on pause to fuck, even if you really want them to.

#countryhumans fandom rants #countryhumans

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genopaint · 8 days ago

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I LOVE making Sonas, I've made tons for tons of different series and things I like. But I've always struggled to make something I like for Super Mario and Sonic the Hedgehog. Despite them being my favorite series for years of my life.

So, here's my latest attempt at them! Meet Green and Green :)

I wrote up some lore and design philosophy for both of them which are under the cut!!

Green (Mariosona)

An adventurer from Dragon Land! She's a hero for hire who goes on tons of random adventurers wherever the wind takes her! She also spends a LOT of time saving and helping the rulers of Dragon Land: Queen Bahamut, Princess Leviathan, Princess Behemoth, Princess Ziz!

Each one rules a different part of Dragon Land, and while Green is roughly Mario/Yoshi sized, the Queen and Princesses are MASSIVE! Rivaling something closer to The Lord of Lightning's size.

Green is Dragon Land's Mario parallel. And I imagine she's introduced as a teammate in an RPG taking place in Dragon Land. Where they need Mario to help stop a looming threat. Green and Mario butt heads at first but end up becoming good friends by the end of the game :)

I also think Dragon Land is where my fan Power-Up, Dragon Mario, should originate from :)

My philosophy for her design was to make her similar to other good reptilians in the series like Yoshi and Birdo. I wanted her to wear clothes, but most if not all Mario reptiles are nude lol. So I wanted her to fit in!

She can breath lightning out of her mouth! I figured Mario characters can really be anything so I decided to not limit myself to a species that definitively exists while also trying to make it familiar to what we've seen before. Don't be surprised if she comes back with clothes eventually aha

Green the Bahamut (Sonicsona)

She is a Dragon of unknown origin. Not knowing who she is or where she comes from, not finding her origins with any previous draconic-type creature in Sonic's world. She's a hero-for-hire who goes around the world doing odd jobs while trying to find herself!

As of right now I don't have any plans for her being friends with the main cast. In fact, I think she's such an unpopular hero the main characters don't even know about her. But of course if she ever meets anyone, it'll be Team Dark.

She's a Power Character and can do electric powered moves such as possibly even repelling static around her to go faster or even using electric conduction to help her homing attack enemies (especially badniks cause, yknow, metal). She's probably a little less bold than the Mario sona, being a less popular hero in her respective world.

For THIS one's philosophy. I've wanted to make my Sonic sona an alligator for YEARS. And I REALLY wanted it to match Vector's body type since he's the closest we have to an Alligator. But no matter how hard I try, I could NEVER make a sona in the style of Vector I was comfortable with so ultimately I decided FUCK IT and just made her a new reptile, incorporating elements of Vector, Espio, and Trip. I was contemplating making her a monitor lizard or a dinosaur or something I haven't used often. But... dragons are back in Sonic in a big way after Superstars SO! She's a Bahamut :)

---

And in general, yes, I've made sonas for Mario and Sonic in the past. Like my Mario Enemy Sona, who was a Fizzlit. or my Sonic Forces Sona, Geno the Hedgehog. But I've always wanted a proper MAIN sona that could fit into those series.

While these aren't perfect, I think they're best I've ever done. So I hope you enjoy them too :) I'm still a little less into Mario and Sonic as I used to be, but in general I've always struggled to make OCs for these universes even when I was OBSESSED with them (maybe too much pressure to make them good in my mind?)

But who knows maybe you'll see some new, actually well done OCs for them come back. Like Batrophy or Breeze the Polar Bear. Who knows!!

#green #sona #self insert #super mario #super mario bros #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #super mario oc #sonic oc #sonic fan character #mario sona #sonic sona #fan oc #oc

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huntrx-nextgen · 21 days ago

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Welcome to huntrx-nextgen!

This is an RP blog dedicated to a Fanmade next gen of Hunters. There are five members of the group, known as Perfect Glamour!*

Areum

Jae

Nabi

Kyoung

Min-Ji

Fun facts about each Hunter!

Areum is supposedly the daughter of one of the members of Huntr/x. She’s not very open about her family, though, so we’re not sure which one. All we know is that she’s part demon. Her name’s also the only reason the band got off the ground, considering the… lack of popularity for the K-Rock genre.

Jae, the drummer, helped design the weapons and outfits the band uses. She was also the one to come to Areum with the idea to create a rock band instead, considering none of them were very good with choreography.

Nabi, the lead guitarist, insisted her guitar had to double as an axe. She also helps compose most of the riffs, and helps Kyoung with the lyrics. She also has really long hair, which she has never once considered cutting short, apprently.

Kyoung is the main lyricist and bassist. She’s incredibly talented, but a little bit clumsy. She’s also a huge fan of animated shows, and thoroughly despises K-dramas. She’s the maknae of the group.

Min-Ji is the tallest member of the group and the least energetic. She plays the piano (her parents insisted) and is probably the best of the group at math. She also has the largest fan base outside of Areum for some reason.

fun edit! @yumin-huntrix-fan is the manager. Also the mods for both blogs are minors so no NSFW on either account-

That aside! Blog rules:

• Don’t be rude to anyone. If you don’t like the concept of the blog, block and move on!

• We don��t have any unique tags. No need to worry about that.

•We’re a joint ask-blog rp-blog, we do both. Also there may be some LORE

•Don’t expect any real music to come out of this blog. Not only does the mod know next to nothing about the Korean language, she’s not very good at songwriting in general.

•Homophobia, transphobia, hatred towards anyone really, proshipping, and the like is not allowed. Also, this blog is anti ai.

•This is done for fun. Don’t take this seriously. If you see the fic with these character’s names in it… no you didn’t. It’s a lore thing.

*yes we know it’s a fashion studio and trend, we’re not really related to the fashion studio, like, at all, though that was an inspiration for the name. thank you!

[Friendly Reminder: this is unofficial]

Also another edit: any RP done with this blog is not canonical to the lore that features the characters. It may include ‘canon’ lore, but being on this blog itself does not make it canon. All 5 featured characters are OCs with their own backstories, lore, and motivations and do not actually exist in the KPDH universe.

#kpop demon hunters #fan blog #next gen rp #rp blog #ask blog #intro post #kpdh

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nickssidewitch · 1 year ago

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Is It Destiny?

Destiny, an upcoming YouTuber, meets Matt Sturniolo in a café in New York City. They part ways after their brief encounter there, but keep up with each other online. What will happen when they meet up in person again for the first time in months?

Warnings: Fluff, Meet-Cute, Smut (SoftDom!Matt x Sub!OC), First Orgasm, dry-humping/grinding, Oral (Male-Receiving) w/ deepthroating

(And yes, the Layla in this fic is the same Layla of my previous fic, “Chris’s Dilemma” as this is technically a chapter 2 of a series I plan on writing!! 🥰)

***

New York’s colder than what Destiny remembered of it. The gray, fuzzy sky blew a sharp, chilly breeze that pricked the skin of her face every time it brushed against her.

She was there from Florida– a big difference in climate to New York– for a Creator Summit that YouTube was hosting, one that she had attended for a few years now. It proved to be a great networking event for her and many other creators. She’d already met so many good friends and coworkers there, so she decided she should give this year a go.

Among those she had met was her best friend Layla, who has been a close companion of hers since the very first time she went to the Creator Summit.

Layla at the time was a creator on the rise, gaining popularity with her makeup tutorials, travel vlogs, and fashion hauls, while Destiny was simply a consumer of Layla and other creators’ content, deliberating on whether or not she should join the industry as well. While walking through the streets of Miami, where her first Creator’s Summit was held, she stumbled upon Layla vlogging her own experience for her channel. And after the two shared their greetings, they’d become inseparable since.

The second Summit that Destiny attended was where she met two other friends, Dawn and Malia. Dawn was a full-time musician and part-time YouTuber, and she was set to perform for both days of the Summit, which was why Destiny was there a week earlier. Malia, a sports journalist who was the wife of one of the biggest soccer players in the world, occasionally made her own Youtube videos as well. They all would hang out together from then on, forming their own little group that not only they loved, but the fans loved as well.

As she walked down the bustling pavements of the loud and proud city, she came across a little coffee shop. It was genuinely little: not more than 20 chairs, two at each table, and some content patrons enjoying their drinks as they sat at each one. Some were on their computers, a couple of what looked like college or highschool students were probably having small conversations about the latest school gossip, and a cute elderly couple sat with what Des believed to be their granddaughter. It was such a small and intimate community in this café, and Des was happy to join them, even if only for about 15 minutes, to escape the chilly autumn winds and the rush hour of the city.

She walked up to the line and waited her turn, looking up at the menu options to figure out what drink best suited her mood for now. The problem, however, was that Destiny was quite an indecisive person. Whenever she was presented with options of anything, she never had any idea to come up with a final answer, and would usually depend on someone else’s response. A curse, indeed.

Almost as if they could sense this exhausting personality trait of Des’s, a voice spoke up beside her. “I personally like the cinnamon cappuccino,” it suggested.

Destiny looked over at where the voice was coming from; it was a young man, seemingly around the same age as her, with short brunette hair, striking blue eyes that laid under hooded eyelids. His thin lips were a cute shade of baby pink that arched in a warm smile at her. She looked down at his hands— his attractive, veiny hands adorned with the prettiest rings and tattoos— and noticed him holding a small cup of what she would assume was the cappuccino he suggested to her.

“Oh, th- thank you,” was all that Des could manage to reply with. Her brain was still processing what was happening. That man is too pretty to be interacting with me, she thought to herself. She truly didn’t believe it.

“No problem!” He said with the same warm and pretty smile on his lips. His voice was subtle in his suggestion– not overenthusiastic or pushy– yet it was so charming and approachable. He took a sip of his beverage and licked his lips before speaking again. “It seemed like it was your first time here, so I just wanted to help you out somehow.”

“Oh, well, thank you for that,” Des chuckled and continued, “It is my first time here actually. I lived in New York for a little bit, but relocated to Florida with my family. Last time I was here was around 10 years ago, and this café wasn’t here at the time.” She walked up one spot in the line as it was nearing her time to place her order, but the man walked up with her, almost as if he came to the café with her. Usually Des would have an issue with this— some random man walking up to her out of nowhere and starting a random conversation— but something about this man made her feel comfortable. He intrigued her, not just appearance-wise, but something about his aura. So, she didn’t mind his actions at all.

“Oh, Florida? The weather must be a huge shock for you, then,” The man laughed to himself. “Why come to New York in the winter? The aesthetics? Or you wanted to do some free cryotherapy?”

Des laughed and made another step closer to the café employee. “Nah, I’m here for…” She paused as she thought about how to word this– she didn't want to seem like another one of those pompous influencer girls. As the lightbulb lit up in her head, she smiled and continued with her answer, “For a work event.”

“A work event, huh?” The man inquired. Des noticed a smile creep up on his lips and she swore she could hear a small chuckle escape. Did he catch onto her vagueness? “I don’t wanna seem like a creep, but does it have to do with YouTube stuff?”

Shit. He got me.

Des responded, “Um, yeah. It’s YouTube stuff. A little summit for creators”.

“Oh, I’m aware of the event,” he reassured her with a slyness to his voice, almost like he was familiar with the event (he was, obviously). “I’m Matt,” the boy introduced himself, extending his hand for Des to shake it. The warm and welcoming smile never left his lips. “I noticed I didn’t really introduce myself. My bad.”

Des shook Matt’s hand, but the moment their hands touched, it felt like her knees started to wobble. His hand… wow. The skin was so soft and warm. She could finally feel the veins that she noticed when she first looked at them. The rings adorned on his fingers were cold to the touch, causing her to wince internally. Her mind started to wander into places it probably shouldn’t wander the first time you meet someone— things of a rather erotic nature— but she quickly caught herself and managed to utter, “My name’s Destiny, but people call me Des for short.”

He repeated her name to himself, “Destiny?”, and a smile appeared on his lips. “I love that name. It suits you. Really pretty.”

Des’s cheeks grew warm and a tinted darker brown as her brain processed Matt calling both her and her name pretty. Did he know he was a pretty boy? She should tell him? Should she? Would that be weird? Who cares? Maybe he would be flattered. Or maybe he wouldn’t? Maybe he-

“So, you mentioned you were here for the Creator Summit?” He asked, interrupting her thoughts. Des nodded, and Matt chuckled to himself before continuing. “I’ve been there with my brothers, since we’re creators. It’s a good event. Lots of nice people there. You can meet creators old and new. It’s a great way to network.”

“Yeah, it’s not my first time going there actually,” a smile began to beam on her face as she thought of her first two times there, and memories of her, Layla, Dawn, and Malia meeting popped up in her mind. “I met some of my closest friends there a couple of years ago.”

“Aw, that’s really sweet,” Matt took a sip of his own hot cocoa before continuing, “Maybe you’ll make more friends this year.”

There was a beat of silence between the two of them as they both took their respective times deliberating on what to say next. And then Matt offered something that Des would have never believed.

“Maybe we can be friends?” He asked, before his brain caught up with what he was saying, causing him to clear his throat and follow with a nervous chuckle. He clarified, “Not just ‘creator friends’, but maybe something more?”

Des’s heart didn’t skip beats this time; she could have sworn it fully stopped beating for 5 seconds. She noticed a blush appear on Matt’s face before she averted her eyes from him.

Matt noticed her look away for a bit, and he made his eyes travel to find hers again, wanting to decipher if she was weirded out by the question or if she was just thinking about it. He did word it kind of weirdly, but maybe she didn’t take it that way.

Her next words confirmed the latter. “Sure. We can be friends,” she finally answered with a smile on her face, and Matt was relieved.

The more Matt studied her face, the more he noticed how cute of a nervous wreck she was. The way her cheeks seemed to grow more of a rosy undertone, the slight tremble of her hand as she held her coffee cup, the way she would never give him direct eye contact unless he manually brought his eyes to hers. He could understand it though; meeting new people is always difficult.

“Cool!” He said, and with that, it was time for Des to order her drink. “One medium cup of your cinnamon cappuccino, please,” Matt could hear her order, and he was warmed by her actually taking up his suggestion.

Des finally finished with her order and stood by the side of the counter as she waited for her drink. “So, ‘friends’,” She uttered to herself and looked towards Matt, who heard what she said and nodded in agreement.

“Yep, friends,” he returned. “And since we’re friends, maybe we can keep in touch?” Matt caught his words and realized how weird he must have sounded. So, he followed it up by saying, “I mean, you don’t have to give me your number or anything. E-mail is fine. Or something else; I don’t know,” all followed by a nervous laugh and trembling hands.

Des chuckled for a bit before she silenced herself, not wanting to seem like she was laughing at him or his obvious nervousness (she knew she probably came across as obviously nervous in his eyes). “Well, I never heard of friends exchanging emails; that’s more of an associate or coworker thing.” She heard Matt start to laugh, which gave her an okay to release the chuckles she kept to herself aloud alongside him. It was cute to see him flustered, but she appreciated him not wanting to seem too forward.

“Oh yeah, true. I just didn’t want to seem like I was pressuring you to give me your number or contacts or anything. I know how that could feel,” Matt reassured her, but he could tell by her body language that she seemed comfortable at the moment. Her smile was soft and warm, not forcing any teeth to fake her happiness. She wasn’t a loud talker, similar to him, and their auras just seemed to mesh so well together.

“I’ll give you my number and my Instagram,” she said as she pulled her phone out from her backpack.

Des took a sip of her cappuccino. The smooth and decadent flavor of the drink mixed with the presence of Matt as this moment soothed her in the midst of the New York pandemonium.

“So, where’re you going after this?” Matt asked her curiously.

Destiny took another sip of her drink. “I’m going back to my hotel,” she answered. “I heard it’s gonna rain later, and I know New York gets dark and kinda hectic when it rains.”

Matt laughed, “Yeah, it’s kinda like Massachusetts, where I’m from.” He drank his coffee and continued, “Everyone’s just in a rush to escape the weather.” Another minute of silence passed before he spoke up again. “Do you want me to walk you back to your hotel? I’m not busy right now, and I know the streets can kinda get confusing with the crowds and everything.”

Des blushed and stammered as her brain processed his question. “Um, well, I mean I don’t know- I don’t want to put you in the middle of all of that, too.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m kind of used to it by now, trust me,” he insisted, and he was indeed used to it, his mind flashing images of the crowds of fans that would follow him and his brothers in big cities like this. “I can help you carry your bag.” He directed his eyes to her backpack sitting on the chair next to hers.

Des blushed. “Oh, well, thanks so much, Matt,” she said with a genuine smile. She didn’t expect him to be so… chivalrous. It was attractive, but just not she was used to when it came to men.

The two got up from their seats, Matt lifting up the bag and her carrying her coffee, and left the small shop. He held the door open for her, as he knew a gentleman should.

Matt adjusted the strap of Destiny’s backpack as the weight tensed on his shoulder. He really didn’t mind carrying it for her though; she was worth the hassle. Des walked in front of him, leading the way as he happily followed. As he continued to walk behind her, he could smell sweet fragrances passing him by; the scents of the oils in her hair mixed with her perfume blended well together.

They both finally stopped and looked up at the marquee of the building which read “The Maximilian”. “Well, this is my hotel,” Des said.

Matt smiled and handed her the backpack. Their hands brushed against each other’s, causing Matt’s heart to skip a beat and Des’s breath to hitch. They weren’t expecting that brief touch, but it seemed as if it was fate’s doing, as if the divine had used invisible magnets in the pair’s hands that attracted them to each other.

Des let out a small chuckle as she regained her composure. “It was nice meeting you, Matt!” She said with a smile, and the man could have sworn his knees were nearly jelly as he heard her goodbye.

Matt smiled back. “You, too. I’ll text you, trust me,” he added the last part with the utmost sincerity. He hoped that she trusted him with that.

“I know you will,” Des said as her mouth just went with the flow of the moment, flirting with the man without even consulting with her brain first. Matt chuckled and began to wave goodbye as she walked into the hotel.

Des rushed to her room and quickly shut the door as she jumped onto her bed. She was like a giddy, giggly nerdy kid who just got the cool, popular boy’s attention at school, flailing her legs around excitedly and screaming into her pillow. Was she excited about talking to a cute boy? Yes. Was she also fighting for her life and having a lowkey panic attack because she spoke to a cute boy? Also yes. Was the screaming and kicking her feet up a mixture of the two emotions? Absolutely. And what happened a few minutes later set her off even more.

Ding! An unsaved number texted her, and the text read, “Hey, it’s me, Matt! It was nice to talk to you today! Enjoy that coffee. Hopefully we can talk again soon!” followed by a smiley face.

“Fuck me,” Des uttered to herself in disbelief of what she had gotten herself into.

***

Throughout the next 5 months, Matt and Des had been talking to each other on and off, sometimes about their growing Youtube careers, other times about casual things like their hobbies and their families. They would mainly text each other, but as they got more comfortable with each other, texts turned to Discord calls while playing Fortnite or silly little Roblox horror games, and silly littles games became late-night Facetime calls while doing their nighttime routines or while snuggled up in their beds. There were some nights where one would catch the other fallen asleep during the call. You know, the stuff friends do.

Matt would usually talk to her at night, but throughout the day he would find himself sending her little memes or even photos of things that reminded him of her. His brothers didn’t really know all the details. In fact, they virtually didn’t know anything other than the fact that they’d notice Matt sneaking texts underneath the table whenever they would eat together, that he’d get distracted on his phone when they filmed car videos, or that Matt was a bit more enthusiastic about waking up in the morning, sometimes even waking up earlier than the two of them, which was uncommon for him. It was weird, but at least they could acknowledge he seemed more up in spirits.

Destiny’s friends would ask her about the guy she was talking to, but she wouldn’t make it a big deal. “We’re not even dating,” she would say as an excuse, which was reasonable, of course. She didn’t feel it was appropriate to introduce them to someone she wasn’t even sure she would be romantically involved with. She didn’t want to get her hopes up to the point where a rejection would physically and mentally destroy her. She would, however, give them little details about him such as how he was a YouTuber, or that he had siblings, or how they met at the Creator’s Summit in New York. They would have little investigations (especially Layla) about who the mystery man could be. But up to this point, they still haven’t figured him out, which was great for Des.

Des and Matt’s friendship was working very well, even with the physical distances between them; Destiny living in Florida and Matt constantly traveling between California and Massachusetts. But that’s the thing: their relationship was long distance, and long-distance relationships can only go so far before the proximity becomes a problem. Des decided to bring it up one night during one of their FaceTime calls, stuttering her way through her part of the conversation as she tried to find the best wording for her suggestion to reunite with him in person. She was going to LA anyway to stay with her friends for a half-vlog-half-vacation trip, so she thought it would be nice to meet up with him, even just for a day or two.

Matt laid in bed as he received the information, seemingly calm if one looked at him from a distance, but his heart was actually pounding out of his chest. A heap of questions began to rush through his brain. She wanted to meet up with me? Oh my god, what does that mean? As friends or like… Oh gosh.

He simply nodded his head and gave her a promising smile. “Of course. I think it’s about time we hung out in real life again. We said we’d be more than just content or online friends, right?” His cheeks heated up as he heard Des’s cute little giggle from across the screen.

“Yeah, you’re right,” she replied. “So, I’ll text you all the details of my flight and my schedule and everything.”

“Okay, sure,” he said. As his anxiety grew, there were more thoughts. Fuck, is she coming to my house? Do I have to go to where she’s staying?

“It’s 2 AM already? Damn, I’m gonna go to sleep. I’m supposed to go to the nail salon with Dawn tomorrow.”

“Aw, okay. It was nice talking to you. Goodnight! Love y-” Matt quickly bit his lip as he heard the last two words about to slip from his mouth. Hopefully, she didn’t hear me.

“What’d you say?” Des asked. Thank God she had a genuine look of confusion on her face, and Matt mentally wiped the sweat from his forehead.

“I was saying ‘Goodnight and sweet dreams’”, he answered as he played off his Freudian slip. “The phone must’ve glitched.”

Des smiled. “Oh okay! Goodnight to you, too, Matt.” And the call ended.

And even more thoughts rolled in. Oh my God, what if I embarrass myself around her like I almost did? Does she even really wanna see me, or is she just saying that to be nice? What clothes do I wea-

“Matt!” A voice said, and a knock coming from his door snapped Matt back to reality. He realized it was Nick.

“Yeah?” he called back out.

“Is my charger in your room?” Nick opened Matt’s door a bit to speak to him more directly. “I texted you about it, but you didn’t answer, so I had to make this long ass, unnecessary trip all the way from my room to yours to ask you.”

Matt brushed off the shade and jolted to look around his bedroom and grabbed Nick’s charger as he noticed it on his nightstand. “Yeah, I got it. Hold on,” he said as he got up and walked over to his bedroom door, handing Nick the charger through the crack he had open.

“Thanks,” Nick expressed, before he saw the look on Matt’s face. “Are you good? You look pale… paler than usual,” he continued. He was joking with him, but there was a genuine concern there.

Matt raised his eyebrow at his brother. He knew why Nick would say that, but he had to deflect somehow. “I’m good! Don’t worry about it.” He feigned a smile.

“Well, that makes me worry.” Nick refuted.

“Well, I said don’t worry about it,” Matt snapped back, before sighing as he realized he was getting tense. “Trust me, I’m fine, Nick.”

“Okay…” Nick said with a hint of hesitation. “Well, goodnight. And keep your notifications on, please? I hate walking back and forth.”

Matt nodded and watched Nick walk off before shutting his door. A wave of relief caused him to sigh before walking towards his closet and taking a look inside. He analyzed each shirt and pants on the hangers and racks, leaving him with just one thought.

I guess I gotta prepare from now…

***

The door to Des’s place swung open and she looked around, taking in the view of the interior of the house she was staying in for the week. She was finally in LA for her little vacation trip with her friends, and thank God she was able to rent her own place for the time being.

As she finished getting herself settled in (and by finished I mean putting her luggage to the side until she remembers to unpack later), she decided to let everyone know of her arrival, including Matt. She laid onto her bed and texted him “I’m in LA right now! Just arrived this morning” with a little heart face emoji as the cherry on top. She placed her phone on her nightstand and connected it to her charger as she went into the bathroom for a quick shower to wash herself off.

***

Matt looked at his phone as it sat on the stand attached to the Desboard of his car, the ding interrupting his focus as he continued to drive home. He had just finished having a meeting about a book he was working on, one that discussed anxiety and mental health from both a personal and professional perspective. He had been working on this book as a secret kept from his fans for about ten months now, constantly holding meetings with co-writers and editors, as well as doing interviews with therapists of all kinds.

Matt tapped onto his phone and it revealed a message from Destiny which read “I’m in LA right now! Just arrived this morning” with a smiley heart face emoji. His heart jumped as he started to think about what his life will be like this week with her finally being in close proximity to him. They made a promise that they would hang out for some time while she was here for the rest of the month, he just had to figure out when and where exactly.

Luckily, he had some days where he wouldn’t be having book meetings. But, he had to figure out how to designate time away from Nick and Chris. He really didn’t want to, but he felt that he had to. He and Des weren’t technically dating, technically not even real-life friends outside of the half-hour they spent in that coffee shop in New York. Bringing her up out of nowhere to his brothers would make them confused, but hiding her from them also felt like a crime. He couldn’t risk it though.

As Matt arrived home, he quickly texted Des his itinerary for the week and called her, a smile never leaving his face as he began to suggest things that the two of them could do together. He told her about a cute crêperia where they had “the best crêpes he has ever had”, and about a little botanical garden that he recently went to with his brothers and his friend Madi. In the back of his mind, he could get her a special flower there? He chuckled as he thought of the millions of ways to express his gratitude for her coming all the way to LA wanting to spend time with him in the midst of her busy schedule. But… were they dates? Honestly…

He wasn’t even sure yet. Here came the self-doubt.

***

Today was their first day meeting in-person since their time at the café in New York.

Matt waited outside of a brunch place he had suggested for the two of them to eat. He kept his eyes peeled for Destiny; he didn’t want to miss a second with her.

After a few minutes of aimlessly scrolling through his phone to pass the time, he finally heard a familiar cute voice from his right side. “Hey!!” Matt turned and looked at Des holding her hand out for a shake. Almost as if his body reacted involuntarily, his arms wrapped around her body for a hug.

Des was startled at first, but his touch and the warmth of his body instantly calmed her. The two shared a tight embrace before Matt pulled away to look at her, all of her. “How’ve you been?”

She noticed his eyes on her, almost like he was examining her, which would make sense since their first time seeing their whole bodies in person after a while. “I’ve been well!” she answered with a smile, the same smile that almost made Matt want to fall to his knees back at the coffee shop where they first met.

“Yeah?” Matt asked rhetorically. But, the way he said it… something about it made Des’s heart jump. And not only her heart had that reaction; Des shifted her position a bit as she felt the bundle of nerves between her legs pulse. Her brain did its best to shove those nasty thoughts in a vault and lock it as she nodded her head and asked back, “How’ve you been?”

Matt answered, “I’m good. But, even better now that you’re here.” He smiled, causing Des to let out a small titter, not knowing how to really respond to that. The Generation Z jumped out and came to her rescue, following the small nervous chuckle with a “same”.

Matt chuckled back and said, “Well, we should head inside. I hope you’re hungry, ‘cause you’re gonna want to eat everything off this place’s menu.” Matt’s face lit up as he saw Des laugh at his joke. This girl really knew how to make his heart flutter without even trying. And with that, he placed his hand on her upper back, swung the door open, and escorted her into the building. He swore he could feel her breath hitch as he touched her.

***

Their little date went well. They spoke to each other with the same energy as they would usually do over the phone. It was face-to-face now though, which added an extra layer of intimacy amongst them. They started to notice things about each other, especially in their body language, that they had never noticed before, since those months on FaceTime they pretty much always saw each other from the chest up with the usual “fit checks” being the only full-body exceptions.

Every moment Des would glance up at him, he would already have his eyes on her, then would quickly look away as he realized she caught him. She noticed that he never looked at his phone other than to check a phone call from his brother Chris, giving her the green flag that he actually paid full attention to her. She saw how he would bite his lip every time she shifted herself in her seat, and how he would stroke his hand through his hair whenever she complimented him, a sort of nervous tick. It was cute.

Matt was just as observant. He would watch the way she ate her food from the moment she picked it up with a fork, to the way she would chew, to the way she would swallow and wipe her mouth in case anything was on her lips. He noticed her fidget in her seat, especially when she was being complimented or praised. She would even shift sometimes when he would crack a little teasing joke at her. It was cute.

How the fuck would they both get through the rest of the week if they kept studying each other like this?

***

To answer the question, it went pretty well despite Des and Matt being in their heads about it. They checked off every box they had planned in their joint itinerary, with Matt showing her in some of his favorite places in LA, and Des happily following along, happy to learn more about the area, Matt himself, and their personal dynamics together.

The final stop for this week was Matt’s office where he’d met up with book editors and publishers before. He had a meeting earlier that day and everyone had left, so he knew he could take her here. It would be perfect: no distractions, no people walking in to disturb the flow, he could show her around and give her the inside scoop about his project, and he didn’t have to worry about being around her with fans or anyone watching their every move. And the added bonus of him still wearing his semi-professional office clothes. Just perfect.

He walked her around the office, showing her concept boards and first drafts, and told her about his book. As he spoke, he noticed the way her face would light up. Did she like the book that much? Or did she like the fact that he liked making it?

They finally finished the tour, and now they’re sitting on the gray couch in the room together, wondering what to do next.

“It’s been nice to spend this week hanging out with you,” Matt said, the satisfaction in his tone aligning with the words he spoke. “I just really love your energy.”

Des’s heart skipped a beat as she registered his words. Love my energy? she asked herself. “We only met in person for at most 30 minutes in that café,” she said with a laugh, and then continued, “And now we’ve only spent a week sneaking around together. What’s there to love?”

Matt’s body shifted, spreading his legs in a more relaxed stance as he felt himself get a bit tense. She was right, he could admit to himself. It’s only been a week of talking to someone face to face for the second time ever and he’s making such a bold claim. But, he meant what he said, and explained, “I mean, you’re just such a sweetheart for one. You actually sit and listen when I speak, compared to other influencers I’ve met. With a lot of them, you can just see them thinking about how to turn a conversation we’re having into content for their next TikTok or YouTube video.” He paused as he noticed her doe-like eyes looking right at him, taking in every word, before continuing, “You can see it in their eyes: just ideas and thoughts flooding their brains, blurring their vision. But with you, when I look at your eyes, they’re so big and bright and clear. It’s like you’re listening not only with your ears, but with your eyes, too. They’re so… so beautiful.”

Des’s heart stopped. Literally stopped. Beautiful?...

BEAUTIFUL?

She quickly mentally slapped herself to get back to reality after that word stopped her in her tracks. “Oh, um, thank you, Matt.” She smiled anxiously, and she noticed Matt glance down at her lips.

Matt’s legs spread a bit more as he could feel something coming on (more like something turning on…). He watched as Des bit her lip and shifted herself on her side of the couch. She was having the same reaction as him.

“Des, I’m serious,” he added onto his previous statements. “You’re beautiful. Not just looks-wise. Your personality… I just-” he bit his lip, his brain stopping him from continuing.

It was like his brain and his heart were fighting for dominance. Would it be logical for him to express his deeper feelings to her now? Or does he say “fuck logic– I’m just gonna tell her I love her”?

But there was a third opponent in this internal battle– and it wasn’t even internal. Matt kept his legs spread, trying his best to make his dick comfortable. He wasn’t getting a boner on purpose (he swears!), but Destiny was just too gorgeous. Her aura and her presence around him just made him get flustered, and ultimately, sexually frustrated.

He was just a man. Insert shrug here.

Matt patted the spot on the couch next to him and gestured over at Des for her to come beside him, and Des obliged, scooting up next to him until their thighs met.

At this point, they were looking into each other’s eyes, as if some force made them physically bound to stare at each other. Matt continued his confession telling Des, “I just wanna let you know, I really like you. I know we said we would be more than creator friends– which we are!” He paused to think about his next words. He absolutely did not want to fuck up this moment because of his anxious, misspeaking tongue. He sighed to relieve himself a bit and spoke again, “I know we’re friends and we’ve only been friends for some months now, and we’ve only hung out in person for a week and a day in total, but I feel something with you. It’s not just platonic.” He stopped himself from saying anything more for the moment because he really wanted to study her reaction. He knew that actions spoke louder than words, and that was very true in his and Des’s circumstances since they were both not the most outspoken people. The best way for him to really gauge Des’s thoughts was just by watching her.

He could see Des’s eyes wide and trance-like. They were staring into his own, but not actually looking at him at the moment. She was listening to him— the same way he told her that she truly listened to him with her eyes. And she was processing everything. Well, he did just admit his wholehearted more than platonic feelings for her, so it would make sense. He continued his admission, adding “I think I’m in love with you. I’m falling for you pretty hard. And it’s confusing since it’s so sudden, but I really wanna… try things out with you.”

Des bit her lip and shifted in her seat. Another nervous snicker, followed by an “Um..” made the somewhat hopeful look on Matt’s face start to dissolve. Did she not like what he said? Was she weirded out by him? Fuck… what if the feelings weren’t mutual? Or worse- what if she didn’t want to be his friend anymore?

“Matt?” Des’s voice interrupted the man’s thoughts. His eyebrows rose as his eyes jumped between her lips and her eyes, in some way to decipher what she was going to say next.

Des herself was also trying to decipher what she would say next. She wanted to immediately jump in Matt’s lap and kiss him. She wanted to just say “yes, yes, yes!” with pure excitement. She wanted to even satisfy him with her body, sealing the deal of any sort of romantic and sexual relationship. She wished she was just that type of spontaneous girl who could just love and accept him– all of him– with open arms.

But, she wasn’t. And she was well aware of it. All of her thoughts and feelings began to flood her brain, her mouth didn’t even know what words to form next. So, her eyes decided to take the reins.

Tears formed at the corner of her eyes, which juxtaposed the smile on her face. Were they tears of joy? She wished they were simply that: tears of joy. But, they weren’t. They were a mix of different feelings: a culmination of anxiety, fear, embarrassment, and joy that overwhelmed her. And her body just decided to release them all in the form of crying.

Matt saw her begin to sob, watched as her chest heaved in excess, how the tears just ran down her face without any force or strain, how little whimpers escaped her throat, and it absolutely devastated him. Des wasn’t just crying, she was having a nervous breakdown, a panic attack, a reaction his body was familiar with. He instantly coiled his arms around her, rubbing on her back to bring her back to some sort of tranquility. He let go of her after a few seconds, not wanting to make her feel claustrophobic, and placed his forehead against hers. It was like his body didn’t want to fully let go of her– it wanted to stay close and help her feel better. So, he began to start breathing, 4 seconds of an inhale, 4 seconds to hold his breath, 4 seconds of an exhale, and 4 seconds to hold once again, repeating the process intentionally to let Des follow at some point.

Des picked up on his breathing technique as her arms around him felt his respiration through his back. She began to follow his process, and after some time, it calmed her down. Matt and Destiny’s eyes met again as she looked up at him, and that’s when she wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace. It was her way of showing gratitude without a “thank you”, for words were not needed in that moment. All they needed was serenity. All they needed was each other; they were each other’s serenity.

As the moment continued and their comfort levels increased, Matt noticed Des getting closer to him, like she was trying to get on top of him. He helped her with this motion, getting her on top of his lap, and held her. His body cradled hers, not wanting to let go. If he could hold her like this forever, he would. Her aura, what he imagined was a light, fairy pink, blended with his sky blue to create the most beautiful shade of lavender. It looked like the way the sky would have a purple hue whenever the sun went down. A sunset— that’s what they were. She was the sun; shining more brightly than any other star in the universe. His world seemed to revolve around her. He was the Moon— one would only notice him if they looked up at the sky, and even then they probably wouldn’t see him at his full potential. Those mere, almost fleeting moments where the Sun and Moon would meet in the sky— their first meeting at the café in New York, the phone calls and texts they shared, and this whole full week of them being together in-person— created these beautiful colors of red, orange, and purple. And that’s what this blooming relationship between Matt and Des was: the purple hue of the sunset, where the Sun and Moon would enjoy each other’s company before they bid adieu to one another. The Sun’s light would still bask on him in the night, and on some days one could point out the glow that the Sun left on him even on their busiest days.

Des clung to Matt like a koala, with her legs wrapped around his waist, and her arms around his neck. The two enjoyed each other’s warmth for a few more moments, truly engraving this moment in their bodies and minds. Des took it upon herself to make the next big move, to hammer a nail in their relationship.

Her lips pressed against his suddenly. Whether it was out of passion, comfort, or anything else, she didn’t quite know. But something about Matt helping her out of that state of vulnerability allowed her to break open her seal and release the spontaneity that she didn’t even know she had within herself.

Matt didn’t hesitate to reciprocate, following the movements of her lips with his own. She tasted the way he expected her to taste– like the mocha-flavored lip gloss she applied onto her lips after every meal they shared. It was divine and matched with her sweet, decadent composure. He knew at that moment that he wanted more of her, right here, right now.

Matt released his mouth from hers before any further actions– before a tongue slipped in, before a nip at a lip, before a whimper or moan could be emitted. He needed some sort of rite of passage, so he gazed into her eyes to ask his next question. Or rather, suggest something to her. “Des, I wanna do more with you… I wanna make you feel good.”

Destiny smiled softly at his disclosure, and nodded her head slowly. “O-Okay,” she stuttered. She knew what he meant, of course. He wanted to shift this to a more passionate atmosphere. She wanted it too, she couldn’t lie, and her desire rose as Matt leaned in to kiss her forehead.

The man’s arms massaged her shoulders a bit before starting to slowly inch down the sides of her body. His hands stopped above her hips, and he looked into her eyes again for a subtle consent to touch her there. Des nodded and smiled before looking down to figure out what he would do next.

His hands finally placed themselves on her pelvis and began to massage her. He wanted her to feel comfortable with this new boundary being crossed, and by the way she started to lean into his body and place her head in the crook of his neck, he could tell that she was.

That’s when he began to guide her hips to rock back and forth on top of him. The instant relief flowed through his body, causing Matt to sigh. He could hear a small whimper come from Destiny’s mouth as she, too, began to feel him against her.

He continued to guide her, keeping the pace slow, yet pressed her into his lap more to increase the friction. Matt swore he could feel Des’s mound through her pants, which motivated him to please her. Grunts and moans were all Matt could let out at the moment; the dirty talk would have to come later once he was out of his trance.

Des’s head was fully in between Matt’s neck and shoulder. She kept her arms around his neck to stabilize her upper body, while her lower half was being fully controlled by him. She began to spill moans from her mouth as he pressed her into him more, and the best part was that she didn’t feel the need to conceal them. She loved this feeling, not only because he was pleasing himself and her, but because he felt comfortable enough in the relationship to want to try something like this. They were on the same page, and this was just the cherry on top.

Matt’s grip onto Des’s hips suddenly loosened, and the grinding stopped. He was getting close, but he didn’t want to just use her body like a toy (at least not so early in their sexual relationship). He wanted to really feel her. He wanted her to use him for her own pleasure. “You wanna ride me, pretty girl?”

Gulp. Des removed her head from the crook of his neck and looked at him. She swallowed a lump in her throat before nodding her head, trying to fix herself onto Matt’s lap in a way she thought would help her perform to the best of her abilities. The thing is, her abilities… weren’t quite able. It’s not like she hadn’t ridden something before– if the pillow adjacent to hers on her bed counted as something. But, an actual human man? Not a part of her resumé. She finally sat herself down, but hesitated with commencing her next moves.

“Have you ever done this before?” Matt asked curiously, although by the lack of movement she gave from her end and the awkward position she sat in on his lap, he could already tell the answer.

Confirming his suspicions, Des shook her head and lowered it. Was she ashamed?

Matt placed his fingers on her jaw and brought her head back up to face him, making sure her eyes were aligned with his. His lips curved to form a smile, one that was hopefully reassuring for her. “It’s alright, Des. It’s normal. It’s okay. If you ever wanna stop, just pinch me or bite me or just say no. I’ll be fine,” he paused to kiss her forehead, “We will be fine. Okay, pretty girl?”

A blush appeared on Des’s cheeks, and she nodded, giving him a kiss back onto his cheek. Matt then helped to adjust the girl on his lap, making sure both him and her were comfortable with their positions. He grasped her hips and then her ass, but made sure to keep eye contact with her, studying the microexpressions on her face in case she ever gave a sign of discomfort. Then, Des began to rock her hips back and forth, mimicking Matt’s earlier guidance. The pleasure between her legs came back again as she felt him through his pants, rubbing against her sweet spot.

Matt bit his lip and threw his head back as the pleasure he felt shot up his spine. His Destiny, his gorgeous girl, was on his lap, riding him through his pants.

He groaned as Destiny continued her movements, the urge of throwing his head back again quickly diminishing as he began to plant kisses against her ear and the back of it. He could hear her little sweet whimpers of ecstasy in his own ear, and it drove him to lift his own hips up to collide with her rotating hips. His groin met with hers with such force that the vibrations of impact flowed through the two of their bodies, causing their soft pants and whimpers to grow into louder moans. If dry-humping caused them to have these sorts of reactions, one could only imagine what penetration would make them feel like.

Matt knew that the sounds of friction against their clothing mixed with their moans wasn’t enough to complete the symphony. He needed to add one more piece. So, his lips began to twitch as his brain transferred sweet-nothings to whisper to the girl on his lap. “There you go, baby… That feels good?” He murmured, the softness of his voice contrasting with some undertone of a rasp that sent shockwaves through Des’s ear all the way to her pussy. The pulse at her clit quickened and the wet spot in her panties quickly flooded the entire area. She nodded and threw her head back, making Matt lean over and grab her to keep her from falling backward. This new position created a delicious angle for Matt to begin thrusting his hips with more intention, almost to the point where he looked like he was actually fucking her. “I know, baby, you’re feeling good. Good girl…”, he stated while he stared into her eyes, furrowing his eyebrows as his own stomach started to churn with pleasure.

Des’s moans started to become more sporadic the closer she got to her orgasm. Matt took the opportunity to reach one of his hands down to her mound and begin rubbing at it, his finger doing its best to find where he believed her clit to be. He felt something, similar to the feeling of the tip of a nose, and knew that he hit the jackpot, so he began to rub at that spot the best he could through her pants.

The feeling of the moment finally caught up to Des and she felt herself begin to unravel. Her body began to shake as she orgasmed, almost making her fall out of Matt’s grasp.

Matt pulled her body close, wrapping his arms around her waist with a grip tight enough to contain her trembling, but soft enough to give her some sort of comfort. He softly cooed at her, whispering small shushes and giving her small pecks of his lips by the temple of her head. “It’s okay, honey,” he whispered into her ear. “You’re okay. I’m right here. It’s just me, okay?”

Des brought her head between his neck and his shoulder as her body shook with the intensity of her orgasm. It was embarrassing for her. She knew it shouldn’t have been. Matt probably wouldn’t care if that’s how her body reacted to pleasure. But what if he did?

Almost as if he had heard her worries through telepathy, he uttered, “No, no, no it’s okay to shake. Shaking’s normal.”

“I’ve never done that before,” Des admitted, causing Matt to cock his head. She clarified, “I’ve never cum before… especially not with someone else.”

Matt kissed her temple and began to rub her back. He didn’t have a problem with her admission at all. “You feel good though, right?” She nodded, and he continued. “That’s all that matters,” he stated with a sincere and heartwarming smile.

Her warm chestnut eyes looked into his icy blues, the contrast between them being highlighted by the bright sparks of ecstasy that they now both shared post-orgasm. Des was normally intimidated by eye contact, but with Matt she felt… comfortable. Safe. Trust.

And that trust is what gave her the confidence to make this request.

“Matt… if you’re still up for it,” she paused to swallow the lump of saliva that nearly stopped her from getting her words out then continued, “Can I suck you off?”

Matt was indeed up for it. He didn’t have an orgasm from their grinding session, which he was initially thankful for because he didn’t ruin his pants. But with Des’s request, he was now double-thankful for not cumming. He could now enjoy a blowjob from his favorite person without the fear of him (or his dick) being overstimulated or overwhelmed.

“It’s okay, you can do whatever you want. Whatever feels comfortable. I wouldn’t ever force you to do anything,” He replied. In his own mind he added, I could force my dick down your throat… with consent though-

His thoughts were stopped as he watched Des get on her knees between his legs, looking up at him with those doe-eyes. Those same fucking doe-eyes that got him hard in the first place were now looking up at him, yearning for his dick.

“Fuck,” He mumbled, and he pulled his pants down to help her get started. Her soft, warm hands pulled down his boxers, causing his erection to spring out in its precum-coated, red-tipped glory. It was desperate for some relief, something more than just a couple rubs through fabric— it needed a warm and wet cavern to dump its release inside of.

The way her eyes looked at his dick could have cum right then. But he held his composure, and pet her head as he watched one of her hands wrap around his shaft. Matt chuckled as he noticed her trying to jerk him off. “You have to lube it up; I don’t have any foreskin, sweetheart,” he said with a laugh.

Des laughed as well as she realized her mistake. “Oh, right,” she told him. Noticing the pre-cum began to slide from his tip, she used some to wipe onto him, and Matt winced at the contact. He bit his lip as he watched her stroke his cock, and when her eyes met his, he, again, did his best not to cum all over her face.

Des finally knew it was time to do what she yearned for. So, she bent her head down and released some saliva onto his tip, then used her hand to coat it all around his dick. When she was ready, she wrapped her lips around him, and began to suck.

“Ah, shit..,” Matt groaned. He leaned his head into the back of the couch, truly living in this moment– the moment that his girl Destiny was finally making direct contact with his dick. It was purely heaven.

Des brought her head up and down his length, doing her best to get as much surface area as she could. When she got comfortable and noticed Matt’s face of bliss, she brought herself as far down his dick as she could and began to suck from there.

Matt’s hand grabbed the back of her head, however he didn’t tug on her hair; he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable or in any sort of pain. He wanted his girl to truly enjoy herself— He knew he was. “Your lips… oh, shit,” was all that he could even conjure out of his own lips.

Des chuckled, causing vibrations to move through his cock all the way up his spine, making his brain receive all the pleasure from those feelings. The girl continued to do her best to suck him deeply, not quite deepthroating, but still getting deep enough to feel him at the back of her throat. It was surprisingly pleasurable for her, and the proof was in her panties as her clit throbbed the way it did when she rode him.

“Fuck, you feel so good, Destiny,” he moaned out, jutting his hips. He tried his best not to overpower her— he really did.

But, she just felt too damn good.

“Des, I want to go deeper, are you okay with that, sweetheart?”

He heard (and felt) an “Uh-huh” come from her mouth, and he immediately took action.

His hips bucked in her mouth with haste, the tip hitting the back of her throat which caused her to make the most disgustingly beautiful noises. “Good girl,” he stated through grunts, “good fucking girl. You’re taking me so well, baby.” He stopped speaking to listen to her noises. They were cute gags with little gaps in between each stroke of his cock, both from the impact of his dick’s rhythm inside of her, but also from her trying to keep herself alive with short and quick breaths through her nose. He had heard those sounds in porn before, yes. But with Des? That was something else. She wasn’t just some personal pornstar for him, she was like his doll. And although this was their first time together, he loved to play with her, and he anticipated the many more times he could play with her again, the many more possibilities of getting nastier with her, the many more times be could be romantic and soft with her, the many more times he could just simply be with her.

“Fuck, Destiny, I’m so close,” he moaned out, and his feet planted themselves on the ground as he did his best to restrain himself from cumming too early while still thrusting into her mouth.

Des didn’t respond simply because her throat was occupied with being thrusted into. Her hands held onto his thighs as his thrusts got faster, and she knew he was getting closer to an orgasm.

And finally, with a couple more thrusts and some praises, he finally released, closing his eyes and groaning proudly. But, he noticed that she might not be comfortable with him ejaculating inside of her mouth, so he pulled out to minimize the chances. He looked down at her and noticed that some did end up in her mouth, while the rest landed on her cheeks and nose.

But, Des didn’t care about any of that. She fully accepted it all, and leaned her mouth back onto his dick to suck the residue from his tip. This stunned Matt, but he didn’t question it since she looked too damn good doing it. Des smiled and licked her lips as she finished. “You taste nice,” she complimented him.

Matt laughed and petted her head and brought his hand down to hold her jaw and caress her cheek. “Oh yeah? I’ll keep that in mind for next time.”

Des cocked her head to the side as she questioned what he meant mentally. Matt noticed and continued, “For when I taste you!” He grinned as he continued, “I know you’re probably gonna taste better than me.”

Des smiled and blushed. He wanted to taste me? She asked herself.

Yes, he wanted to taste her! And not only taste her– he wanted to touch her, tease her, make her cum around him, choke, gag, bite, kiss, spit, swallow, everything. He wanted to do every single damn thing to her.

But, that would have to be for next time.

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