#who am i without my charts….. my Patterns……

[fagtainsparklez]

Given you where involved in the mcyt greater relationship chart and now the creepy Asta house... You enjoy this don't you?

to call me slurs would’ve been a kinder fate

[cursedcola]

ALRIGHT EVERYONE!

Nobody asked - but I broke down the construction of Epel’s cardigan from the sleepwear card as best I was able (aka. Me zooming in on him and staring very intensely).

This is the pattern idea I’ve come up with and a few grid charts. This is not finished, but what I’m going forward with to make his coat this month. My goal is to be done by the end of June.

So. Looking close at his sleeves - the closest resemblance we’ll get in the crochet world is the honeycomb stitch for the argyle diamonds. My plan is to break his sleeve into fourths. Three large panels of honey comb for the diamonds, and two smaller panels of a curved half-double-crochet to create dividers. The cardigan is clearly oversized on him, and even if it’s because of his smaller stature - I want to be SWAMPED in this thing. So the cuffs need to be CHUNKY. I’ll be going in with either a ribbed stitch, or a back stitch of double crochet. When the time comes I’ll test both to see which looks better.

Now - we’ve got the granny squares.

Looking at my little dude - we can see that they’re not just the front panel. They’re going on the back as well. Since I can’t see behind him, I’m going to take creative liberty and make one large panel of honeycomb stitch to be a central strip on the back. The front panels and side panels are going to be made of jumbo cranny squares.

For those of y’all who don’t crochet - the average granny square is about 25x25 stitches. Except oversized cardis use 8 of these bad boys per front panel. So since Epel has only four on each side, that means those squares gotta be JUMBO.

Zooming in - we see that the patterns are more embroidered. They’ve got texture. Since we’re crocheting, the best way to achieve this is to do pixel crochet for the squares and then go over the designs with a basic embroider stitch. This can be any of your choosing - I’ve yet to pick but will note what I want when the time comes.

There are THREE types of squares on Epel’s coat. I’m just calling them blossom, diamond, and apple. Since there are only three, it would have been difficult to make an entire back with them without having two of a kind touching or diagonal from each other (this is personal preference. I hate how this looks) which is why I’ve decided to go for that middle panel of honeycomb stitch.

The rest of the cardigan seems simple enough. The collar and trim is likely a simple ribbing, and those look like classic farmhouse wooden buttons if I’ve ever seen them.

EDIT (5/6/25): So. Complete change of plan for the sleeves now that I’ve gotten some sleep and thought on it. There’s a cable-knit stitch in the crochet world that closely resembles knit cables. Also lattice stitch or Tunisian crochet can be used for the diamond pattern. So if you want simple/beginner then do the honeycomb with a twisted hdc. If you want advanced then mix the cable-stitch with lattice.

Now - let’s talk materials.

I’m going with acrylic for this. Would it be absolutely divine as wool or a nice, dense alpaca blend? Definitely. I bet that’s what Epel has since his family runs a farm.

I am broke so I’ll be going in with a medium - weight acrylic, hook size 6, and all the granny squares will be done with basic hdc. Although acrylic is a bit itchy - id any of y’all choose to do this? Soak that finished product in a fabric softener solution. It’s a few dollars and your project will lose that scratchy texture. Just don’t let it hang out in the bath too long or the fibers will loosen more than you’d like.

^^^^ This is my general eyeball for how I’ll be constructing this piece. There aren’t any measurements since I’ve get to get my yarn and do a gauge…also, I’m not too sure how oversized I want this. I want to be swamped but not weighed down so hmm…

-

I don’t know how many of y’all like to crochet or do fibre arts - but I fell in love with this coat the moment I saw it and knew it had to be mine. I’m the impatient sort, and already ordered my supplies despite telling myself to wait. Pixel crochet does take a hot minute, so I’m hoping for June but the finished product will likely be more around late-july or august. Just in time for fall and market living where I live!

I could go quicker - but uh, I work as a bridal tailor and Run my own small shop off this app. I spend most of my day sewing lol. It’s been a hot minute since I made something for me, but dang it Epel made it look so cute. I just have to.

No one’s asking, but I’ll be updating. I’m literally so excited and my package of supplies can’t get here quick enough

[theskywithin]

✦ Natal Asteroids ✦ Karma in the Houses

The asteroid Karma in the natal chart points to what wants resolution, what repeats itself, quietly or loudly, until it’s fully met. It’s about learning the difference between what was placed in your hands and what you are here to release. Like soul-DNA, the house where Karma lives holds a story you’ve been carrying long before you had language for it. And now you get to choose whether that story becomes a cage or a key.

My book waits for you, a mirror for the sky you were born under. Find the link at the bottom of the page or in the pinned post ♡

✦ Karma in the 1st House

Your body remembers. Before your mind, before you ever learned to introduce yourself, there was already a script written on your skin. Karma in the first house is the soul born into visibility it didn’t fully choose, the kind that comes from having once been named too soon, too wrongly, too many times. You were taught to read the room before you breathed too loudly, to wear the costume before asking what you even felt. And now, even in this life, the self can feel like a performance you didn’t audition for. You carry old instincts like a second spine, the way you hold yourself when you’re not being watched, the way your expression shifts the second someone enters the room. This isn’t about ego. It’s about remembering what it once cost to exist unfiltered. But now you’re here to un-armor in slow ways, to speak your name as a becoming. You are are the one that decides how the story unfolds this time.

✦ Karma in the 2nd House

You were born with memory in your hands. The kind of memory that counts, that measures, that keeps score in secret. Karma in the second house is a soul wired to ask: Have I done enough? Have I earned this yet? Is it safe to receive if I didn’t pay for it? It’s the echo of lives where worth was transactional, where every belonging had a price, and love came with a receipt. Now, value feels slippery. You might hoard what you fear could vanish or might give too much just to prove you’re not a taker. You might call it generosity, but underneath, it’s the hope that no one will take more than you can replace. But this placement is not a debt, it’s an invitation to remember that not all wealth is counted. That peace is a currency too. That your presence is not something you owe the world in exchange for safety. You are not an offering plate. You are the garden, and you are allowed to bloom without asking who it benefits.

✦ Karma in the 3rd House

Your mind is a corridor full of echoes. Rooms filled with conversations that never ended, questions that were never answered, thoughts that began lifetimes ago and never stopped speaking. Karma in the third house means language lives inside you like a storm cloud. Words arrive in floods, silence feels like exile. And somewhere inside, you still remember what it meant to speak and be punished. Or to speak and be praised for something that wasn’t the truth. In this life, you often narrate before you feel. You analyze instead of land. You offer clarity where you long to be held. It’s safer, sometimes, to sound composed than to risk being known, but your voice was never meant to be a mask. It was meant to be a window and even if others have forgotten how to listen, you are allowed to speak like someone who has nothing to prove. You are allowed to stop translating your truth into something quieter. The karma isn’t in what you said, it’s in what you still edit. Say the thing. Even if it doesn’t explain. Let the words be keys, not shields.

✦ Karma in the 4th House

There’s a hallway inside you that smells like the past. A door that opens into memory even when you weren’t the one who lived it. Karma in the fourth house means you were born with someone else’s weather in your chest, their grief, their silence, their patterns. Home, for you, is a question: Am I safe here? Am I allowed to soften? You might carry a loyalty to what hurt you. You might shrink in familiar rooms. You might find comfort in keeping the peace even when it costs yours. This placement is here to teach you how to belong to yourself first. You are not the house you grew up in, you are the one building a new one, brick by brick, breath by breath, where your softness doesn’t have to be hidden under lock and key.

✦ Karma in the 5th House

You were born with a song in your chest but the first thing you learned was how to lower the volume. Karma in the fifth house means joy has always felt like a risk. Maybe you were once punished for wanting too much or loved for the parts of you that performed, but not the ones that felt. Maybe you were silenced mid-laughter. Maybe you fell in love and disappeared inside it. Now, you hesitate at the edge of pleasure. You flirt with self-expression, but don’t always stay. You create something beautiful, then apologize for it. You long to be seen, and fear what that seeing might take from you. You are here to unlearn the idea that delight must be earned. To remember that your aliveness is not decoration, it is the flame that changes everything.

✦ Karma in the 6th House

Your body has always been a ledger, even when no one else noticed, you kept track of what was needed, what was fair, what was never returned. Karma in the sixth house is the signature of a soul shaped by service. Not the kind that flows freely, but the kind that was expected. You may carry past-life memories of being the one who held it all together, the helper, the healer, the one who showed up, even when she had nothing left to give. So now, you might struggle to rest, to say no, to want without guilt. You tie your worth to what you contribute. You call it responsibility, but underneath is a longing: When will it be my turn to be cared for? This placement is here to rewrite that rhythm. You are here to create a life where tending to others doesn’t mean abandoning yourself. Let your body become a home, not a battlefield. Let your care include you.

✦ Karma in the 7th House

You’ve always looked for yourself in the eyes of another. Karma in the seventh house is the soul that remembers relationship as both sanctuary and test. You may have once lost yourself in love, given too much, disappeared too quietly, waited too long to be chosen. Or maybe you loved from a distance, a pattern of missing what never stayed. Now, partnership feels heavy with memory. You might crave closeness but flinch when it arrives. You might choose people who reflect a version of you that feels familiar, not necessarily safe. This placement is about recognition. It’s about learning to meet your reflection without losing your shape. You are not here to disappear into love. You are here to bring your full self to the mirror, and stay.

✦ Karma in the 8th House

Your depth remembers everything, even when your mind doesn’t. Karma in the eighth house is the signature of a soul who has been burned by trust, by power, by intimacy that came too fast or not at all. You were built with a lockbox in your chest. One part longing, one part armor. You want to merge, to be met, but the moment it starts to feel too real, too sharp, too true, you pull back or burn it down. Because somewhere in your history closeness cost you everything. Now, desire feels like danger. Vulnerability feels like exposure. But this placement isn’t asking you to fling the door wide open. It’s asking you to stop treating your sensitivity like something shameful. You don’t need to be unbreakable to be powerful. You just need to trust that the right kind of intimacy won’t require your erasure.

✦ Karma in the 9th House

You were born with a compass in your chest and no clear destination. Karma in the ninth house speaks of a soul shaped by belief, inherited, imposed, or outgrown. You may have once followed someone else’s truth too far or preached a truth you later betrayed. Now, you wander. You question. You study every version of meaning because none of them feel complete. This is the karma of wisdom, not just knowledge, but humility. You’re here to learn that truth isn’t a hill to die on, but a horizon you walk toward. Your beliefs may shift. Your story may change. And that doesn’t make you lost. It makes you alive. You are not here to memorize the answers, you are here to keep asking better questions and to let wonder, not certainty, be what guides you home.

✦ Karma in the 10th House

You came into this life with the weight of a name you hadn’t earned yet. Karma in the tenth house means that legacy, success, visibility, have always carried more meaning than they let on. Maybe you were once praised for being needed, not known. Maybe you were punished for having power. Maybe you rose too fast, or fell too hard. Now, you climb with caution. You work with intensity. You tie your worth to your title, your timing, your ability to hold everything together. And yet, it still doesn’t feel like enough because the goalpost keeps moving. The voice in your head keeps asking, Is this who I’m meant to be? Or just who I learned to become? But this placement is here to remind you that you are not your résumé, you are not your role, you are not the image they fell in love with. Your real legacy begins when you stop performing what success is supposed to look like and start living what purpose feels like.

✦ Karma in the 11th House

You’ve always been surrounded but not always seen. Karma in the eleventh house means belonging doesn’t come easily, not because you’re difficult, but because you carry old blueprints of fitting in that required you to fracture yourself. Maybe in another life, you were exiled for being different or blended in so well you forgot who you were. Now, you find yourself among people who almost get it, you nod, you stay, you support. But a part of you still floats above the room, waiting for the moment it will all slip away. This is not about making more friends or finding the perfect circle. It’s about learning that real belonging doesn’t come from being accepted. You don’t have to shrink to stay. The right people won’t ask you to hide the part of you that’s been waiting to exhale.

✦ Karma in the 12th House

You came into this life with memory underwater. Karma in the twelfth house means something ancient lingers beneath your surface, in moods, in patterns, in grief that arrives before the story does. You may feel like you’ve been carrying things that don’t fully belong to you: ancestral sorrow, unspoken guilt, collective ache. And so you stay quiet, you dream vividly, you disappear into others, you seek solitude but fear being forgotten. This is the karma of the soul’s attic where everything lost is still echoing. But this placement is asking you to learn how to rest without vanishing. How to feel without drowning. You are not here to make peace with the parts of you that never had words, and to stop apologizing for being sensitive to everything the world tries to numb. Stillness is not weakness. It’s where your soul goes to remember itself.

[astrolook]

Your Saturn Return: Why Life Feels Like a Cosmic Midlife Crisis (And How to Survive It)

So, you just hit your late 20s, and suddenly, life feels like it’s testing you in ways you definitely did not sign up for. Your job? Feels like a never-ending loop of doom. Your love life? Either nonexistent or way too serious. Your friendships? Half of them vanished overnight. Congratulations 🎉, my friend—you’re entering your Saturn Return.

Wait… WTF is a Saturn Return?

Saturn, aka the strict cosmic dad of the zodiac, takes about 29.5 years to return to the exact spot it was when you were born. When it does? It’s like a stern life coach showing up at your front door yelling, “Hey, time to get your act together!” 🚪

If you’ve been coasting through life without a plan, Saturn’s about to hit you with a reality check. If you’ve been avoiding responsibility, Saturn’s here to serve up consequences. This transit pushes you toward maturity, purpose, and stability—whether you like it or not.

And trust me, where Saturn is in your birth chart determines exactly what part of your life is getting dragged through the trenches. 👀

Saturn Return in the Houses: What’s Falling Apart for You?

🪐 Saturn in the 1st House: "Who even am I?" 😵‍💫

Saturn is forcing you to redefine your identity and take yourself seriously.

Expect a whole personality shift—old habits, appearances, and insecurities are all under review.

You might feel more self-critical, but this is actually the universe pushing you to build real confidence.

🏠 Saturn in the 2nd House: "Am I broke or just bad with money?" 💸

Money lessons are here, whether it’s job insecurity, budgeting struggles, or learning self-worth.

Saturn is making you rebuild your finances from the ground up.

By the end of this, you’ll be handling money like a pro (or at least not blowing your paycheck on impulse buys).

📖 Saturn in the 3rd House: "Why is communicating suddenly so hard?" 🗣️

Your ideas, words, and even how you think are getting a major upgrade.

Maybe you’re going back to school, learning a new skill, or dealing with serious sibling drama.

Saturn wants you to become a master of clear, meaningful communication.

🏡 Saturn in the 4th House: "Family trauma speedrun—let’s go!" 😭

Childhood wounds? Generational patterns? Emotional baggage? Yup, all resurfacing.

You might be moving, buying a house, or redefining what “home” even means.

Saturn wants you to break toxic family cycles and create a stable foundation for yourself.

💖 Saturn in the 5th House: "Why does fun suddenly feel illegal?" 🎭

Romance, creativity, and self-expression feel like they’re being put through a cosmic stress test.

This is a "grow up or give up" moment—either commit to your passions or find something more meaningful.

If you’ve been dating like a chaotic mess, Saturn’s about to demand some emotional maturity.

💼 Saturn in the 6th House: "Work, health, routines—why is everything so exhausting?" ⏳

If your daily life is a disaster, Saturn’s here to force you into discipline.

Your health, habits, and work ethic are getting an overhaul (expect wake-up calls about burnout and self-care).

By the end of this, you’ll be the person who actually sticks to a schedule and drinks enough water.

⚖️ Saturn in the 7th House: "Why is my love life being personally attacked?" 💔

Saturn is testing ALL your relationships—romantic, friendships, business partners.

If it’s built on shaky ground, expect breakups, ghosting, or deep confrontations.

The good news? If you survive this, you’ll only attract relationships that are strong and long-term. You could even get married between the ages of 27-31.

💀 Saturn in the 8th House: "I did NOT sign up for this level of emotional intensity." 🖤

Deep psychological work, trust issues, and facing your fears—Saturn is dragging you into the underworld.

You might deal with financial debts, inheritances, or a major transformation in your personal power.

It’s tough, but once you get through this, you’ll be emotionally unshakeable.

🏹 Saturn in the 9th House: "Time to get my shit together and figure out my beliefs."* 📚

You’re questioning everything—your worldview, religion, education, and even your life goals.

Saturn might push you toward travel, higher education, or a deep spiritual awakening.

By the end of this, you’ll have a clear purpose and philosophy to guide your life.

🏆 Saturn in the 10th House: "Am I failing at life or just leveling up?" 💼

Saturn is testing your career, reputation, and sense of achievement.

Expect job shakeups, new responsibilities, and pressure to succeed.

If you do the work, you’ll come out of this as a true expert in your field.

💙 Saturn in the 11th House: "Where did all my friends go?"

Your social circles are getting a reality check.

Fake friendships fall away, and Saturn pushes you toward meaningful, long-term connections.

You might feel isolated at first, but in the end, you’ll find your true people.

🛌 Saturn in the 12th House: "Why do I just want to stay in bed forever?" 😴

The hidden corners of your mind are getting a deep cleaning.

You might deal with subconscious fears, spiritual awakenings, or deep solitude.

By the end of this, you’ll be more spiritually aligned and self-aware than ever before.

How to Survive Your Saturn Return (And Not Cry Every Day)

🔹 Accept the lessons. Saturn isn’t punishing you—he’s making you stronger. Learn the lesson, or Saturn will make you repeat it. 🔹 Commit to self-improvement. Whether it’s therapy, new habits, or changing your mindset, this is your time to grow. 🔹 Get a personal birth chart reading. Want to know exactly what this transit means for you? DM me for a complete birth chart reading, and let’s decode your cosmic homework! 🔮

[readsaboutreid]

Periods Suck | S.R.

this is inspired by lenaleechi on instagram's comic about hating periods as well as the gif above because it gives me mad baby fever so i guess this is season 4 softdom!spencer x gn!afab!bau!reader plus a blink and you'll miss it buffy the vampire slayer reference

content warning: breeding kink and period sex [i'm too stoned to think of any others but if you think of them please add them (kindly) in the replies and i'll add them in later :)]

this is smut, minors dni pls and thank you

"...fuck this, fuck everything and everyone, I am done, I quit," I ramble as I open the door to my apartment and kick off my dress shoes that were painfully squeezing my toes, just adding to my frustration. This case had been particularly mild compared to others but I couldn't help but be in a mood due to the littlest things done by the (admittedly innocent) local police officers. I was so relieved to finally go home and get to sleep in my own bed and curl up with a heating pad and my boyfriend with a Doctor Who marathon.

"Deep breaths, (y/n)," I hear from behind me in a soft, soothing tone as gentle hands come down to rub my shoulders from behind. I know he’s well aware what’s causing me to be in such a shitty mood. His pattern recognition skills are off the chart and while he never outright said anything to me about it he'd always be prepared with hot water bottles and chocolate when this time of the month rolled around. I turn around and bury my face into his chest with a sigh.

"I hate periods, Spencer. They suck," I whine with a sigh, my voice muffled by the knit fabric of his cardigan.

"I know, love," he sighs above me, resting his cheek on my forehead and wrapping his arms around me, "I'm sorry there's not more I could do to help."

"You're helping already," I sigh again, but this time out of contentment as we sway side to side in the entry way. "I wish there was a way I could just, like, stop having them," I mutter, my face returning to the soft fibers that I had come to find so comforting over the years.

Spencer's voice is muffled against my hair as he mutters, "That may be something I can assist you with." I don't even need to see his face to imagine the grin spread across it. Lately, he had been subtly expressing his desire for children, but after JJ gave birth to Henry, his hints have become more pressing. And technically, it was all because of me.

The night was a blur of celebration and drinks, as Emily and Garcia joined me in raising our glasses to toast the occasion. But as we were caught up in the joy of the moment, I couldn't help but let slip that after seeing the pure happiness on Spencer's face at the sight of his godchild a spark ignited within me, igniting a fierce case of baby fever that threatened to consume me entirely. Garcia, the horrible traitor that she is, had messaged a video of my confession to Spencer before I had even finished talking and before I knew it, my phone was buzzing with pictures from Spencer himself - tiny onesies and miniature sneakers - accompanied by words like, ‘just imagine a little genius of our own running around our home in this.’

Without changing his stance, he starts off on one of his typical Spencer Reid rants. "Did you know that scientific research has indicated that orgasms can alleviate menstrual cramps? It's due to the release of endorphins and muscular contractions which help relax the uterine lining," he explains with a slight hint of arousal in his tone, "not only does it address your discomfort, but it also takes care of your other request at the same time."

"We could start trying now, if you want," he suggests with a playful tone, though the subtle hint of desire in his voice sends a jolt of anticipation down my spine and settles between my thighs, igniting a fervent ache. Oh. Oh.

I finally turn my head to meet his gaze, and I am met with intense desire radiating from his eyes. His pupils are dilated, and he licks his lips before gently tracing a finger along my cheek and following up with a soft, "what do you think?"

I interrupt him by pulling his face towards mine, and our lips meet in a soft kiss. Suddenly, I'm pushed against the wall with the command to "jump," and my legs automatically wrap around Spencer as he lifts me up by my ass. Our lips met in a hungry yet tender kiss.

Our breaths come in ragged gasps as he pulls away to meet my gaze, his eyes searching mine for confirmation. I eagerly nod, my heart racing and anticipation building. Our lips collide once more, the heat between us intensifying as we lose ourselves in each other's embrace. The world fades into the background as our bodies meld together, consumed by desire. He sets me down and guides me to our bedroom by the hand, giggling slightly with excitement. I know he wants kids and we have discussed having them together in the future but the giddiness of the grown ass man in front of me ends up drawing a giggle from my own throat as well.

As we enter the bedroom, he stoops down to give me a quick kiss before heading to the bathroom. He grabs an old black towel I use for dyeing my hair and returns, laying it down on the bed and patting it lightly. He sends me sweet smile full of adoration as he whispers, "after you, my love."

I stumble towards the light switch and turn it off before making my way over to the bed. I take off my top and lay down, the darkness giving me a sense of privacy. Suddenly, I hear a soft sound from Spencer as he walks away. The lights flick back on, and he quickly closes the distance between us with just two steps. Before I can even cover myself up in the glare of the harsh light, he's already crawling on top of me.

"You're so gorgeous," he beams at me again before leaning in to kiss me gently, lowering his hips to rest between my legs as they wrap back around his hips instinctively as he begin peppering kisses all over my face and drawing endless laughs from my mouth, "I'm," kiss, "so," kiss, "lucky," kiss, "to," kiss, "have," kiss, "you."

He moves back, his lips leaving a trail of fire as they kiss and caress my skin. My jaw trembles under the soft brush of his lips, before he slowly trails kisses down to my throat. I can't help but let out a moan as his lips touch the sensitive skin there. His body presses against mine, the unmistakable hardness of his arousal pressing against my hypersensitive center. Every move, every touch, sends electric shivers through my body, igniting a primal desire within me.

My body aches with desire as I struggle to catch my breath. "Please remove your clothing now," I manage to say between deep, passionate kisses. Spencer eagerly strips down and helps me out of my own clothes before settling back between my legs. His arousal presses against the wetness between my thighs, adding to the intense heat building inside me.

"I've been craving this all week, sweetness," he mutters against my neck as he sucks feverishly at the skin, leaving love bites in his wake. "Craving you and your beautiful body." I have no idea how he managed to get me from wildly upset to wildly horny in such a short time, but instead of questioning it, I just let out a moan as I grind my hips against him, begging for his cock to enter me. He continues to tease me by rubbing the tip against my wet slit.

“P-please, Spence,” I whimper, unable to form a coherent sentence through the haze of lust I had become quickly lost within.

Spencer's eyes flicker with desire as he holds himself over me, his hands fisting the sheets on either side of my head. "Say it again," he growls, rubbing his erection against my aching center.

"P-please," I beg, my voice shaking with need.

He chuckles darkly, the sound sending shivers down my spine.

"As you wish," he murmurs before slowly sliding inside me. I gasp at the intense pleasure that washes over me, causing my body to arch off the bed and my nails to dig into his back. He begins to move in slow, deep thrusts, filling me completely and igniting a fire within me that threatens to consume every inch of my being.

As our bodies meld together in a blazing inferno, time itself seems to cease to exist. Every touch of Spencer's fingers sends shivers of ecstasy coursing through me, while each caress of his lips against mine ignites a fire within. Our movements are fluid and perfect, each one bringing us closer to the pinnacle of pleasure. I am consumed by an overwhelming sensation, my senses heightened to their limits as our passion reaches an almost unbearable intensity. It feels as though this moment could stretch on for eternity, and I never want it to end. In this single moment, there is nothing else but the all-consuming desire between us, and I give myself completely to it.

My heart pounds against my ribs as Spencer's gaze locks onto mine, his eyes filled with the same ferocity and desire that burns within me. He gives me a wicked grin, and I can feel my resolve crumble as the insatiable hunger consumes me. "You want to have my baby?" he gasps, and all I can respond with is a loud, whorish moan, entirely unable to form any words as his hips start to move ever so slightly faster.

He surges forward, his body fusing with mine in a wild, primal dance. Our movements become more frenzied, our bodies slamming together with the force of a thousand thunderstorms. My breath comes in short gasps as Spencer's relentless thrusts coax an orgasm out of me. My muscles tense, my hips bucking against him, seeking the sweet release from the intense pleasure building up inside of me.

Every thrust, every touch, every whispered word sends me higher and higher, my body arching and bucking beneath him in a frenzy of ecstasy.

Spencer's eyes are locked onto mine as he continues to drive into me, his gaze burning with an intensity that matches the fire inside us both. His hands grip my hips tightly, never losing rhythm as he thrusts into me and coaxes that sweet release from me. My body trembles and shakes with each surge, and I can feel the orgasm building, growing stronger and more intense with each passing second.

A low, guttural moan escapes from Spencer's lips as he picks up the pace, his movements becoming harder and faster. I can feel him growing more desperate, and I know that he's close to his own release.

The pleasurable ache between my legs intensifies, and I know that I'm about to reach that peak. I let out a helpless whimper as the pleasure was threatening to overtake me, and I feel as though I'm being pulled into a vortex of ecstasy. Time seems to stand still, and I'm lost in the moment, our bodies moving together in perfect harmony.

The bed creaks and groans with our passionate lovemaking, the sound echoing in my ears as I reach for the pinnacle of pleasure. Spencer's eyes are locked onto mine, and I see the same intensity in them that I feel in my own being. We're one, united in our desire for each other, and nothing else matters in this world.

His thrusts become harder and faster, the tip of his erection brushing against the most sensitive part of me with every stroke. The pleasure is overwhelming, and I can feel the orgasm building within me, growing stronger with each passing second. I cling to Spencer, my nails digging into his back as I beg him to take me over the edge.

“Gonna fill you up,(Y/N),” Spencer moans, “everyone will know who you belong to once you’re — oh fuck — carrying my fucking baby inside you.” His words send me falling over the edge and I can feel myself slipping away, my mind consumed by the intense pleasure reaching it's peak as my hips buck wildly.

Time seems to stand still as we reach the pinnacle of pleasure together. Our bodies move in perfect sync, every thrust, every caress, every whispered word fueling the fire that burns within us. The pleasure is all-consuming, coursing through my veins and reaching every cell in my body. I let out a series of orgasmic moans bordering on screams and Spencer smiles down at me wickedly, his eyes never leaving mine as his thrusts become harder and more disjointed as his own orgasm looms on the horizon. His moans grow louder and louder as the feeling of slight overstimulation makes me clench even tighter around his throbbing cock as he reaches his breaking point.

"Please, Spencer," I whisper, "make me yours, sir. P-please, please put a baby in me!"

Finally, with one last deep thrust, Spencer moans loudly and shudders above me, his body rigid as he loses himself in the pleasure of a release he had been building up to for what felt like an eternity. As Spencer's body shudders above mine, I can feel the warmth of his release filling me up, an earth-shattering feeling that takes my breath away. We lay there for a moment, our bodies still joined together, basking in the afterglow of our passion. Finally, with a contented sigh, Spencer pulls out of me and collapses onto the bed beside me.

I snap back to reality, my mind reeling from the intensity of our lovemaking. I can feel the stickiness between my legs, a reminder of the incredible moment we just shared. The room is still, the only sounds being our heavy breathing and the rhythmic beating of our hearts. I reach over to grab the bedside table, searching for a tissue to clean myself up.

"Spencer?" I say softly, my voice barely a whisper.

"Yeah, sweetheart?" he replies, still out of breath.

I flash him a saucy grin, "I think we'll have to make sure we keep trying this before my next period so I won't have to suffer through another one, for a while." I joked, while playfully poking his chest.

He chuckled softly, brushing a lock of hair behind my ear, "I think that's a great idea, my love." I couldn't help but giggle at his response, feeling a burst of warmth spread through my body.

[vampyastro]

𝕬𝖘𝖙𝖗𝖔 𝕺𝖇𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖛𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘 𝖕𝖙 𝟛

✐ ✧Common birth chart placements of famous writers✧ ✐

Hey everyone! I am someone who loves reading and writing so I decided to look into some of my favorite authors birth charts and find common placements amongst them that could indicate being a good writer. Of course there are other placements in a birth chart that can indicate this (I researched a lot of writers charts and of course not all of them have these placements), I just thought it was interesting to see these the common placements amongst prominent writers. If there are any writers you know of that have these placements feel free to let me know!

✐ I’ve noticed a lot of famous male writers have Gemini moons, meanwhile famous female writers have Libra moons.

✐ Gemini Moons: Fyodor Dostoevsky, Franz Kafka, Charles Baudelaire, J.D. Salinger, T.S Eliot

✐ Libra Moons: Sylvia Plath, Maya Angelou, Jane Austen, Emily Dickinson, Agatha Christie, Louise Gluck

✐ Mercury is also another indicator of whether someone is a good writer. Mercury is the planet of communication, thinking patterns, mentality, reasoning/rational, etc. The authors Mercury sign can sometimes reflect the topics they write about. For instance, Oscar Wilde is a Scorpio Mercury and he wrote a lot about death, transformation, mystery and the fall from grace.

✐ Scorpio Mercury: Oscar Wilde, Sylvia Plath, Arthur Miller, Mark Twain

✐ Sagittarius Mercury: Albert Camus, Louisa May Alcott, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Charles Baudelaire, Christina Rossetti, Jane Austen, Emily Dickinson, Louise Gluck

✐ Writers usually tend to have prominent 10th house placements. Many planets in the 10th house can represent authority, being career oriented and success. Most often I’ve seen Saturn be in many of these writers houses, which makes sense because many of these individuals had tough lives and preserved through many challenges in order to gain the success they had. Some died without even knowing how successful they were or the legacy they left on the world. Specifically Franz Kafka, he had Mars, Saturn, Neptune and Chiron in the 10th house. Kafka died thinking he was a failure, his writings didn’t reach their peak popularity until many years after his death.

✐ Other writers with prominent 10th house placements include:

Christina Rossetti (Moon, Saturn), Emily Dickinson (Saturn, North Node), Agatha Christie (Venus), Arthur Miller (Mars, Saturn, Neptune), Mary Shelley (Pluto), Oscar Wilde (Saturn), Ernest Hemingway (Neptune, Pluto), Shakespeare (Mercury, Pluto)

✐ Overall in my findings, I noticed that many writers I researched have multiple Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Gemini and Sagittarius placements in their charts.

-Side note, he’s not necessarily a writer, although he did write books; Sigmund Freud is a Gemini moon and Scorpio rising. I think that is very interesting lol.

𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓴 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰! *:･ﾟ✧

𝓗𝓪𝓹𝓹𝔂 𝓱𝓸𝓵𝓲𝓭𝓪𝔂𝓼 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔂𝓸𝓷𝓮! ♡

P.s Let me know if you’re interested in more posts like this. I can do famous musicians, artists, psychologists, etc :) Also, thank you for all the support on my last two posts! 🫶🏻

[grandisknight]

zayne: a doctor's companion

summary: A certain healthcare companion finds its way into Linkon City, and a particular doctor is about to discover what it means to say ba-la-la-la-lah.

tags: established relationship, baymax (big hero 6), fluff, canon-complaint, one-shot, medical terms, phone call, gender neutral reader mentioned, mostly zayne's POV, first meetings

word count: 1.8k | (ao3)

notes: inspired by this tweet! also i just love baymax a lot and i think him and zayne would be a cute duo thank you ; including the stanford article i read for the surgery mentioned here! (not necessary for understanding though) (also if i get any med stuff wrong apologies i did my best! i was a girl in stem but not Stem yk)

+ update: the cutest zayne baymax art just dropped everyone say thank you mimi (zaynefied) (i cried)

⊹˚₊‧───────────‧₊˚⊹

Zayne was sure he had slept well the night before. Had his full eight hours, breakfast accomplished and a handful of kisses from his partner before heading out in his pristine, white coat. The drive to work was the same scenery of Linkon City rushing past, soon parked in his designated lot and tracing a familiar path towards Akso Hospital’s entrance.

So, even with such a practiced routine, how did he end up here? 

“I will scan you now. Please remain in place, Dr. Zayne.”

Zayne raises a hand in an effort to dissuade his unforeseen guest. “That won't be necessary.” But his rejection, in turn, was rejected itself—his brows narrowed at the losing notion.

“But it is. I am Baymax, your personal healthcare companion.” The robot calmly states, reflecting a similar monotone diction to the doctor. “I was alerted to the need of medical attention,” he continues, plush footsteps along the hardwood floor squeaking as he approaches the seated doctor. "When you said 'Oof.' So, I am here."

That singular oof traced back to the faint murmur under Zayne's breath just minutes ago when pushing through the growing crowd of peering eyes at Baymax's unprecedented presence. An unusual sight for everyday work life, the mysterious yet kind robot drew in the attention of incoming patients and passersby who happened to catch a glimpse. Zayne’s opportune timing and arrival to work hurriedly whisked away the looming inflatable as crowds huddled in growing excitement, geeking and gossiping alike. Most of his efforts thus far were put into escorting the curiously soft giant through the pristine halls and past the doorway of his office without garnering further unwarranted attention.

And currently, Zayne found himself subjected to a consultation by said robot.

“On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your pain?” Baymax inquires. A chart of faces ranging in emotion and color flash over his chest in display. At the highest end stood a red expression painted in anguish, and to the lowest was a green facade of serenity.

Quickly, Zayne plainly states his number to mirror his current state. “Zero.”

Baymax stares him down with the abyss of his rather blank eyes wordlessly after receiving the response. In mere seconds, a pixelated, monotone hum with a hint of warmth made its way to Zayne’s ears. “Scan complete. You have sustained no recent injuries. However, your cortisol and neurotransmitter levels indicate that you are experiencing stress.”

No, really? Zayne’s brows and posture straightened then, removing his glasses and setting them aside. He echoes the conclusion, pushing down the unspoken remark with a bite of his tongue. “Stress? Is that so?”

Baymax nods, holding up a singular finger as he continues to reveal his findings. “This can be attributed to, for example, overconsumption of sugary foods or work overload. Have you had any of these two things recently?”

Zayne’s lips purse in thought, remembering the new maple syrup you had doused his pancakes in over an hour ago. ‘I picked this up during an overseas mission and thought you might like it,’ you explained to him, drawing an intricately sticky pattern of hearts atop his breakfast. It was still just syrup—not so much a difference in flavor to a regular one you could find at the nearby supermarket—but he was grateful for the gift nonetheless as he indulged in the sweet treat with you.

“Sugar, yes. Nothing wrong with it when done in moderation.”

Sure, he had a sweet tooth. But had been doing well to maintain a healthy intake of sugary pieces, lest he wanted another round of your ‘scoldings’ and an appointment to the neighboring orthodontist again.

With a slight sigh, he clasps his hands together over the expanse of his desk and continues. As for workload? He was almost always caught up in it, whether it were hands-on procedures or consultations. Today was no exception to the rule.

“And I do have work, if that’s what you’re referring to.”

“I see. May I make a suggestion?” Baymax asks.

Zayne gives him a curt signal of acknowledgement. “You may.”

“I can assist you with said workload. I am equipped with several modules and sensors that will be of use.”

Zayne contemplates for a moment, curious to the veracity of such a claim. Well, when one forms a hypothesis, the best way to test out the theory was through a designed experiment; and he was ready to do just that. “Alright. Give me just a moment.”

With a couple of speedy taps, Zayne pulls up a recent patient file and gestures for Baymax to approach. As the airy robot bounces into place beside him, Zayne points towards a diagram, a series of numbers and waves indicating observational data. “Here. Based on what you see, can you tell me what surgery this patient underwent?”

Baymax follows the trail of red lines, analyzing quickly in succession. “Their ECG fluctuations are affected by the noraderaline administrations over time. This line,” Baymax points to a blue parallel. “Indicates the oxygen levels throughout the surgery duration.” Calmly, he turns to blink at Zayne. “Diagnosis? The patient underwent a coronary artery bypass grafting procedure.”

Zayne nodded. Each detail was right on par, much to his surprise. “I’m impressed. Your creator must have put a lot of great effort into you.”

“He did. He was wonderful.” Baymax gives a thumbs up in return. “Am I to take it that I have passed your test?”

So he knew, even without having to say anything. “You have,” Zayne confirms with a small smile.

“Here.” Baymax raises his fingers and curls them into a fist, waiting for Zayne to meet him halfway. Slowly, Zayne does just that, meeting the soft plush before it was pulled away and sealed with a robotic tune.

“Ba-la-la-la-lah.”

“Bah… What now?”

“We have completed our first task together. This warrants a celebratory fist bump.” Baymax returns his enclosed fist towards the confused doctor once more. “You must also say it while our fists connect.”

Not finding it in himself to disagree, Zayne repeats the actions from before and adds on with an unsure, “Ba-la-lah.” Slightly strange, though it held a tinge of endearment that reminded him of a certain someone; he suddenly didn’t mind it as much then, shaking his head to himself.

It satisfied Baymax all the same, hand wiggling away before a sound disrupts the next file to be displayed. Zayne’s phone rings then, a custom set of notes indicating there was only one special caller. Your name flashed on his screen, buzzing in patience as his gaze flicked between that and Baymax.

“Do you mind if I take this?”

Baymax blinks. “I do not mind.”

“Thank you.”

With a swipe, Zayne presses his phone to the cup of his ear, voice softening to answer your call. “Good morning. Are you heading out now?”

“Morning! How did you know?” 

Zayne could make out the rustling of keys with the pattern of your footsteps, a light yet amused scoff from him trickling into the receiver. Even if it weren’t for the traces of noise, you usually left around this time and always texted him a new emoji without missing a day. So, of course he knew. You followed up almost immediately with another answer to support your stance. 

“New mission just came in, and it happens to be near Akso. Guess we’ll be seeing each other again pretty soon.”

“Oh?” His brow quirks at the idea. “What requires you to be in the area, exactly?” Zayne’s hazel hues instinctively settle on the black pools of Baymax’s blink, already knowing the answer that you proceeded to relay.

“There was a… Wanderer sighted?” Even over the phone, your voice relayed doubt amidst a warm crackling sound. “Well it’s not exactly one…allegedly. But rather something big, round and white? Tara said it looked like a walking marshmallow,” you chuckled. Well, it’s not like you were wrong, Zayne confirms with another glance.

“Either way, it’s caused an uproar and the Association is sending me to check it out. I’m assuming you already know what it is?”

“I do.” Baymax tilts his head, pointing a finger to himself in quiet curiosity. Zayne raises his own to his mouth, indicating for a secret to be kept as he muses into the call. “And no, not a Wanderer. Stop by my office when you get here and you’ll see.”

“I’ll be there in 15 if traffic is kind to me,” you chirped in reply. He could make out the humming of your motorcycle come to life, indicating the start of your journey. “See you then! Love you.”

“Alright. Love you too. Be safe.”

As the call came to an end, Zayne shifted his gaze to the even shiftier companion before him. Though Baymax couldn’t necessarily smile, the doctor could feel it radiating off of its plush form as he lifted a familiar finger.

“Your pulse and heart rate have quickened greatly. The rate went from 87 beats per minute to 102 in about ten seconds.” Baymax pauses, and a screen with infographics begins to luminate across his chest once more. “Symptoms may include, but are not limited to, your pituitary glands—“

“I’m aware of how hearts work.” Zayne gestures around to their environment, the glimmer of his name tag reflecting the morning sun filtering through the tall windows. “And… everything else.”

He was a cardiac surgeon, first and foremost. His efforts and contributions have earned him plenty of accolades in the field, a testament to his brilliance and especially at a younger age in comparison to his medical peers. But second to none was he also your partner—naturally, his heart would’ve soared regardless. He was aware of the source to his increased palpitations.

“You are also smiling,” Baymax comments. “Does this person make you happy?”

Zayne freezes then, unbeknownst of how the edges of his lips were curled into a gentle grin. His mouth almost straightens, fingertips brushing over them in thought. He lets out a resounding hum in confirmation, looking away bashfully for a brief moment. “Very much so.”

“That is good. Having someone who makes you ‘happy’ will improve your quality of life.” As if sending him his seal of approval, Baymax gives an affirmative fist of encouragement. No sooner did a wrapped lollipop appear between said fist, and he held it towards Zayne in offering. “Here, have a lollipop.”

“Thank you.” Zayne takes the candy in acceptance, wrapper crinkling in removal before a taste of winterberry spreads across his tongue. “Shall we go through another file until a certain someone comes barging in?”

He could already imagine how your grand entrance would play out, and this time, knowingly smiles to himself at the thought.

With an enthusiastic nod, Baymax takes a nearby chair and places it beside Zayne’s own. Deflating slightly to fit the mold, he puffs up once more in preparation.

“I am ready. Let’s work together, Dr. Zayne.”

[dollyswishingwell]

ᯓ★ˎˊ˗ Mama’s Princess P.14

𝒲𝒾𝓈𝒽 𝑔𝓇𝒶𝓃𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝒻𝑜𝓇 ˙⋆✮ Rafayel, Zayne, Xavier, Sylus, Caleb

𝒢𝑒𝓃𝓇𝑒/𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔 ˙⋆✮ Fluffyyyy, reader being a protective mama, very much based off my own mother lol, the boys being good husbands who listen to their wife

> ࣪𖤐.ᐟ You will home school your baby girl

Masterlist

𝙍𝙖𝙛𝙖𝙮𝙚𝙡 °‧🫧⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Your arms were wrapped tight around your precious babygirl, the two of you curled up on the plush fainting couch in your artfully decorated sunroom, pastel curtains drawn, soft light painting your matching pink robes in a gentle glow. Her little cheek was pressed to your chest, eyelids fluttering as you brushed your fingers through her lilac curls.

“She’s too small,” you whispered, eyes glassy as you looked down at the little girl who looked so much like Rafayel, same soft features, same lashes, same dainty little pout when she dozed off. “They want me to send her to daycare? To preschool? At her big age of two and a half? Am I a joke to this city?”

“She’s advanced,” Rafayel murmured, already lounging at your feet with his cheek against your leg, scrolling through something disinterestedly on his tablet. “Her cognitive patterning is off the charts. That’s why they suggested it.”

“They can keep their suggestions,” you snapped quietly, protectively covering your daughter’s ears. “What do they even do in preschool? Sit in a circle and eat cheese sticks? She already knows her ABCs and half the constellations, because I taught her myself—while baking.”

Rafayel looked up lazily, blinking with those dreamy mismatched eyes. “Love, no one’s forcing her. You sound like you’re preparing for war.”

“She cries when I leave the room for ten seconds,” you said, voice cracking. “What makes them think she’ll be fine being dropped off like a package? And what if she forgets I’m her mommy? What if she calls another woman mama?”

That got him. His tablet thunked to the floor.

“She’s not calling anyone else mama,” Rafayel said immediately, now fully sitting up. “That’s sick. Who even made the suggestion?”

“It was in that stupid parent packet. Something about building independence and socialisation. But my babygirl has me. She doesn’t need strangers or snotty-nosed toddlers teaching her to snatch or bite. And if she’s socialising with me, she gets emotional intelligence, grace, and couture.”

Your daughter stirred a little, rubbing her sleepy eyes and mumbling something about you being soft and warm. You kissed her chubby cheek like a shield, glaring protectively over her head.

“She is going nowhere without me.”

Rafayel gave you that lazy smile, the one that meant you’ve already won. He draped himself over the side of the couch, one hand playing idly with your frilly robe ribbon, the other gently stroking his daughter’s back.

“So we homeschool?” he said. “Hire twelve specialists, rotate them weekly, create a custom curriculum of space physics and watercolor painting. Make a cute little uniform. Pastel sailor collars.”

You blinked.

“…That’s actually perfect.”

“I know.” He grinned, eyes gleaming with amusement. “She gets one-on-one education. You get to be clingy. I don’t have to see either of you cry at a drop-off. And we get to act like you’re the queen of an exclusive finishing academy.”

“I am the queen of an exclusive finishing academy,” you muttered, kissing your baby again. “It’s called ‘Being My Daughter 101.’ And she’s valedictorian.”

Rafayel laughed softly and leaned in to kiss your cheek, then hers. “I’ll text the staff. We’ll convert the east studio into a learning suite. She can start next week with Fairy Tale Lore and Beginner Cello.”

“And I’ll be right there with her,” you murmured, voice sticky with emotion as your daughter finally drifted fully asleep in your arms. “Because no one will ever take her from me.”

Rafayel nuzzled your temple. “They’d have to go through me first.”

And that was that.

The next morning, Thomas received a cancellation letter for all preschool appointments, and an additional task:

To Do:

• Fire anyone who suggests separating mama from babygirl ever again.

• Hire the top ten tutors on the continent.

• Order a miniature baby desk to match her mommy’s tea vanity.

• Deliver daily croissants to the classroom. No raisins.

Signed,

Her Royal Highness the Pretty Housewife

𝙕𝙖𝙮𝙣𝙚 ⋆꙳•❅‧*₊⋆☃︎ ‧*❆ ₊⋆

You stood in the middle of your kitchen, barefoot and furious in a pale pink satin robe, arms protectively crossed as Zayne read the early education enrollment packet you had aggressively slapped onto the counter moments ago.

“She’s two,” you hissed. “Two, Zaynie.”

His calm hazel-green eyes lifted from the paper. “They said she’s ready. Cognitively ahead for her age. Social skills well-developed.”

“She only has good social skills because she mimics me,” you snapped, jabbing your manicured finger at the paper. “She’s polite because I taught her to say ‘please’ for every tea party snack and scolded her for forgetting her thank-you kisses. Do they think a bunch of sticky-fingered little strangers are going to teach her better than her own mother?”

Zayne exhaled quietly, pinching the bridge of his nose, still in his perfectly pressed dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up. “You’re emotional.”

“Of course I’m emotional! My baby, my sweet, chubby-cheeked mamas girl, is being scouted like she’s some kind of prodigy, and all they see is her data. You think they care about her naptime rituals? That she needs her bunny and her blanket and five kisses before she sleeps?”

Zayne was quiet.

“She still cries when you go to the hospital in the morning,” you said, voice cracking slightly now. “She screams if I even pretend to leave the house. She sleeps on my chest, Zayne. And now I’m supposed to just drop her off with people who don’t even know how she likes her strawberries sliced? Are you insane?”

He finally moved, stepping around the counter and gently taking your face in his hands. “Look at me.”

You did.

His voice softened. “You know I trust your judgment with her more than anyone. But I also want to make sure she’s not missing opportunities just because—”

“We are rich, Zayne.” Your eyes were wide, defiant, sparkly with emotion. “We are influential. You are a literal heart surgeon. We could fund our own school if we wanted to. Why would I ever send her away when I could keep her with me and build something better?”

Zayne was silent again. Then: “…You want to homeschool her.”

“I want to curate her childhood, Zayne. I want to make sure her world is beautiful and warm and full of love. I want her to learn astronomy from the telescope on our balcony, literature from my lap, and math with cookie shapes in our kitchen.”

“She’d never leave your side.”

“Exactly. Because she doesn’t want to. Because she’s a mamas girl. And I’m a mama who doesn’t let her precious baby cry in a stranger’s arms.”

He let out a soft sigh. “You’re not going to budge on this.”

“Not even if you showed me statistics from Harvard themselves,” you said firmly, holding his gaze. “My baby girl stays home.”

Zayne was quiet for a long beat, then nodded.

“Fine,” he said. “We’ll convert the second study into a home classroom. I’ll have the pediatric development specialist visit weekly. You’ll build the curriculum with them.”

You blinked. “So… we’re doing it?”

He leaned in and kissed your forehead, then your pouty lips, and finally bent down to kiss the top of your daughter’s head as she clung to your leg sleepily.

“You win,” he murmured. “You always do.”

You sniffled dramatically and scooped your baby up. “That’s because I’m her mama. And no one protects her like I do.”

Zayne’s phone buzzed. He silenced it immediately, not taking his eyes off you and your daughter.

“I’ll call the school and decline the offer,” he said. “…And then I’ll send the full education stipend to you, Dr. Housewife.”

You smirked. “I accept. Now excuse me while I go design her monogrammed learning folders and print her first homework assignment: Give Mommy 20 Kisses Before Nap.”

𝙓𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙚𝙧 ⋆⭒˚.⋆🪐 ⋆⭒˚.⋆

You were curled up in the middle of your bed, wrapped in layers of lace-trimmed blankets, your pastel phone tossed aside as you held your daughter close, her tiny arms clinging to your frilly nightgown, her head resting beneath your chin.

Xavier stood quietly at the door, holding a flyer someone had rudely slipped into the mailbox this morning.

“Love,” he murmured, voice gentle, “someone from the Deep Space Child Advancement Board sent a message.”

“I read it,” you said flatly, not looking up. “I considered printing it out just so I could burn it.”

His blue eyes blinked slowly. “…You want to set government mail on fire?”

“They want to take her from me.” You kissed your daughter’s soft cheek, glaring past her head like someone had personally declared war on your soul. “They want me to drop off my two-year-old baby with strangers. In a sterile cube with bright lights and overly cheerful educational songs. Xavier, they want to socialise her.”

“…That’s the crime?”

“Yes,” you snapped, finally looking up at him with glassy eyes. “She is the sweetest, softest little thing in the world. She only ever says please, thank you, and ‘mommy you’re so pretty.’ Do you think I want her spending eight hours a day with feral children who throw blocks and eat crayons?”

Xavier blinked again, thoughtful. “…You do paint a compelling image.”

“She needs me,” you said firmly, holding her tiny hand to your cheek like a precious artifact. “She sleeps beside me. She panics if I’m not in the same room. She follows me around while I do my makeup and hands me my lashes one by one like I’m royalty. She’s a mamas girl and she was built that way. You think a daycare can handle that kind of emotional nuance?”

Xavier crossed the room, quiet and slow, and knelt beside the bed.

“She’ll cry if we make her go,” you whispered. “And then I’ll cry. And then you’ll have to hold both of us while we sob and cling and beg to be reunited. So let’s skip all of that and just admit the truth.”

He raised an eyebrow slightly. “Which is?”

“We are rich and unreasonably clingy. I will homeschool her. I will curate her lessons. I will hire a harpist to play in the background during her fairy tale modules. I refuse to let her leave this house unless it’s to attend a princess etiquette tea I personally planned.”

He was silent for a long moment. Then he leaned in and nuzzled your cheek, speaking in that dreamy, low voice he reserved only for you and your daughter.

“…We’ll turn the upper sunroom into her private classroom. Morning lessons, nap in your arms, and late night stargazing for science credit.”

You blinked. “Wait. You’re agreeing with me?”

“Of course.” He gently kissed your temple, then pressed one to your daughter’s chubby cheek. “You’re right. She’s too soft for the world. And so are you.”

“She’s not going to school ever,” you murmured as he curled into the bed beside you, tucking the both of you under his arms. “You’ll have to pry her out of my cold, glittery, pastel-painted hands.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he said softly, already half-asleep. “I’ll call the Board and tell them the baby’s spiritual development is best maintained in her natural ecosystem: attached to your hip.”

You sighed in relief, burying your face into your daughter’s soft curls. “Thank you, baby. We’ll name our homeschool… Moonlight Academy. Or ‘University of Mommy.’ I’ll design the crest.”

“Put stars on it,” he mumbled against your skin. “And lace.”

𝙎𝙮𝙡𝙪𝙨 ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𓅨⋆｡°✩

You were sitting in the middle of your walk-in closet, lace robe bunched around your thighs, face buried in your daughter’s soft, chubby neck, as you cried. Not the quiet, elegant sniffles Sylus had seen you do when watching romantic movies. No, this was full-on, ugly crying. The kind that soaked your collar and left you hiccuping into your baby’s curls while she patted your cheeks with her tiny hands, confused but clingy.

Sylus stepped into the room silently, dressed in a crisp black shirt, sleeves rolled up, red eyes sharp, until they landed on you.

His jaw clenched.

“What happened?” His voice was already low, warning.

You looked up with glassy eyes, mascara smudged prettily under your lashes. “They said—” You hiccuped, cradling your daughter tighter, “—they said she should start preschool, Sylus.”

He blinked, and you could feel the way the air shifted. Dangerous. But controlled.

“Who,” he asked slowly, “is ‘they’?”

“Some advisor from one of your stupid elite boards. They sent me a file. An entire pitch. And do you know what it said, Sylus?” You were trembling now, voice shrill with betrayal. “It said she needs independence. That it’s healthy for her to leave her mother’s side!”

You wailed softly into your daughter’s shoulder. “She doesn’t even like being held by anyone else! She hides in my skirts and cries when I go to the bathroom without her! She’s my babygirl, my kitty, and they want me to just… abandon her for eight hours a day??”

Your daughter was trying her best to hold you back now, her tiny voice whispering, “Don’t cry, Mommy, I’ll stay wif you. I wanna stay wif you forever.”

Sylus’s heart cracked, and it showed, only in the way he exhaled slowly and sank down onto the floor across from you. All his power, all his icy composure, and here he was, kneeling in his wife’s closet, looking at his sobbing princess and their wide-eyed daughter who was clearly her mother’s clone in soul, his in face.

“I’ll make the calls,” he said calmly. “Anyone who mentioned separating the two of you will be immediately removed from any decision-making process. Permanently.”

You sniffled, glaring at nothing. “Don’t you have literal global influence? Why would we need daycare when I can curate a private curriculum? She can learn politics from you and princess etiquette from me. I’ll homeschool her and let her nap in my lap and teach her real skills, like how to glare when someone tries to touch her hair.”

Sylus watched you spiral, then reached forward and gently cradled your face in one hand, tilting your teary eyes up to his.

“You are not sending her away,” he said softly, brushing a damp strand of hair from your cheek. “You’re mine. She’s yours. That makes her untouchable. You want her home? She stays home. End of discussion.”

Your lip trembled again. “You promise?”

He kissed the center of your forehead. “I’ll build her a classroom next to your dressing room if that’s what you want. Fully staffed, pastel-coded. Tutors will enter only when summoned. If they look at her wrong, I’ll send them to Antarctica.”

Your daughter nodded seriously like she was also in agreement with the execution orders.

You let out a wobbly sigh of relief and collapsed against his chest, holding both your daughter and your husband tight as the last of your sobs faded.

“Thank you,” you whispered, voice hoarse. “I just… I want to keep her little. I want her with me. I don’t care what they say.”

Sylus kissed your head again, eyes sharp over your shoulder.

“I built this empire so you could rule your world. So go ahead, kitten. Create your tiny kingdom. She’ll be your princess.”

A pause.

“And anyone who tries to take her away from you will vanish without a trace.”

You sniffled, finally smiling through your tears. “You’re so romantic when you threaten people.”

𝘾𝙖𝙡𝙚𝙗 ⋆｡ ‧˚ʚ🍎ɞ˚‧｡ ⋆

You didn’t even try to be subtle.

The moment the word preschool left his mouth, your face fell, lips wobbling, hands gently stroking your baby girl’s back as she sat in your lap chewing on a biscuit with zero idea her whole world was about to be challenged.

Caleb was still talking. “It’s just a preliminary inquiry, pipsqueak. They reached out since she’s showing early cognitive dev—”

“No.”

One word. Small. Soft. But final.

He blinked. “Pips, I wasn’t saying yes. I was just—”

You sniffled. He froze.

Your voice cracked just a little. “She still sleeps on my chest. She cries if I leave the room. She brings me my lip gloss and says, ‘here Mommy, so pretty.’ You want me to let her go to a building with strangers?”

Caleb’s mouth opened. Then closed. His hands twitched like he was either about to cradle you or burn down the school.

“I know you’re used to commanding fleets and delegating missions and sending people away on rotations,” you whispered, eyes welling. “But I don’t do that with my baby. I don’t leave her. She needs me.”

Your daughter looked up at you, mouth covered in crumbs. “Me stay wif Mommy. No go anywhere.”

And that? That was it.

Caleb reached over the table and scooped you both into his arms without another word. Strong arms wrapping around your waist and your baby, holding you tight, like you were the only two living things in the world that mattered. Because to him, you were.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured into your shoulder, voice already raw. “I’m sorry, pipsqueak. I wasn’t thinking. Don’t cry.”

You buried your face in his neck, holding your daughter close between you. “She’s just a baby. My baby.”

“She’s ours.” He kissed your hair, then your daughter’s head. “And she’s not going anywhere.”

You sniffled, still not fully trusting him. “You’re not just saying that?”

“I’d rip my own heart out before letting you cry like this,” he said fiercely. “You were my baby before she ever existed, and now she’s your baby. So I protect you both. End of story.”

“She can stay with me forever?” you asked in a small, pouty voice.

“She can sleep in your lap until she’s forty if that’s what you want.” He kissed your tear-streaked cheek, then her chubby one. “I’ll fund your curriculum. I’ll design the uniforms. You want matching Mommy and baby notebooks? I’ll have them custom embroidered in Skyhaven silk.”

Your daughter clapped at the word “matching” even though she didn’t know why.

You nuzzled your nose against his, finally smiling. “I love you.”

“I love you more,” he murmured. “Now tell me where to build her little classroom, and I’ll start on the renovations tonight. No one touches my girls.”

He tucked you both against his chest like you were the most precious things in the universe, because to him, you always would be.

[iknityounot]

Ok, so my last post about the issues of plus sized patterns popped off in a way I did not expect??

I just want to come back and say: making patterns is hard work and especially those who make their patterns free online, it is a LOT of hard work that the designer gets nothing back for. I didn't mean for it to sound like I thought that was an easy thing to do.

But, like a lot of people pointed out in the tags and comments, fashion world has already done the leg work for us. There are size charts and mathematical equations you can do to scale your pieces in such a way that at least matches what you would see in stores. I think, honestly, that this is where the break down is. I think pattern makers take bust/chest measurements, and scale all of their numbers from there, without thinking about their piece as clothing (instead of just a knitting project, if that makes sense).

And I think that's where fat people get left behind. Because our bodies don't scale the way you would scale up a hat or mittens or something. It takes added work and added care to think about fat people and how our bodies look and work (hence why my previous post said "please talk to a fat person"--it's not that we know how to make patterns, but that we can advise what works for our bodies!)

I want to end on a helpful note, if I can:

My favorite pattern maker for plus sized projects is Jacqueline Cieslak!

I have bought a couple of patterns from them, and I have never had the not-for-fat-bodies problems I have had before. They have a handful of different styles, many of which are very customizable. Not to mention that the patterns themselves are VERY thorough. They link to tutorial videos they have made for anything more complicated than a stockinette stitch, and have lots of detailed diagrams showing different measurements for different parts of the project.

Anytime I am making a piece for myself or my other plus sized love ones, I go to Jacqueline first! Hopefully their patterns will help anyone who identified with my previous post find some patterns that work for them!

[heavens-crown]

And They Were Neighbors Pt.7

Master List

prev / next

Tag List: @starkgaryan @gabsgabsvaz

cw: angst, mentions of lovers quarrel, talk of broken bone

The following weeks were a delightful type of boring. Delilah and Robby settled into a quiet routine, spending their nights in her apartment. Robby claimed it was because she had better water pressure and a nicer TV. He was back on day shift and while he was glad to be off of nights he missed being able to spend most of the day with her whether it was via naps together or him stretched out on the insanely oversized bean bag she had in her office. The only hiccup had been a minor spat between the two when he had come back edgy from a rough shift and unfairly took his anger from the day out on her. While she had taken it in stride it was clear she was still hurt. 

The evidence of that hurt showing when she sent him a simple ‘have a good day’ text when he left for his first day shift. His mood was now rather foul and he would rather be anywhere other than the ER. When he arrived he set his stuff down so they could go over rounds. On their last patient for rounds Robby noticed Delilah walking into the pit. He noticed she was wearing what was frankly a criminal short dress that appeared to have shorts under it and cherries as the pattern. Frowning a bit he excused himself from the residents and began walking briskly toward her. 

“Why are you here?” he asked. His tone was not great and he knew he messed up when he saw the way her eyes narrowed and her posture stiffened. “If you’re because of what I said last night now is not-” she cut him off before he could finish. 

“First off, watch how you talk to me. Second, I’m not here for you. I got a call from one of my Uncles who is apparently here and he wanted me to bring him some food,” she held up the take out bag he had failed to notice. “I am not some dumb teenager who’s coming to your place of work to stir shit up. Trust me, I'd rather not have that conversation here with you in front of your coworkers and patients.” With that she brushed past him heading to her Uncle's room. Robby exhaled roughly and turned to see the entire nursing station was staring at him. 

“Get back to work,” he ordered. With that they scattered finding things to do that kept them away from him. Sitting at his workstation to go through necessary paperwork he noticed Dana out of the corner of his eye approach him. She stood next to him silently for a moment tapping away at a tablet in her hand. 

“Trouble in paradise?” she asked, concern in her voice. Robby continued to work on the paperwork and things needed signing off. When he didn’t respond Dana continued. “She’s cute, give her some time and i’m sure whatever happened will be forgiven.” She squeezed his shoulder before walking off to help a new nurse with a charting question. 

Delilah entered her uncle's room attempting to keep the tears stinging her eyes from falling. Shawn Montgomery was a stereotypical businessman. His brown hair was styled out of face and his usual style of clothing was usually three piece business suits. Today though he was dressed in a simple shirt and jeans and he seemed to be cradling his arm to his chest. 

“Hey Uncle Shawn,” she said in greeting. Pressing a kiss to his cheek she placed the take out bag on his lap. “I got the food you asked for. I also brought you a long charger for your phone.” Delilah pulled the charger out and handed it to his wife Melissa to plug it into the wall. Shawn smiled gratefully up at her, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. 

“Thank you monkey toes, I don’t know what I'd do without either of you.” He grinned up at her. Delilah rolled her eyes and settled down in the extra chair next to the bed.

“How’d you break your arm?” she asked, gesturing to the arm held in a splint. Suddenly looking anywhere but at her he attempted to dodge the question. It was her Aunt Melissa who answered, amusement clear in her tone. 

“He stepped off a curb into a pothole and fell.” she said. Delilah simply stared at the two of them. Out of all of Grandma Rose’s children Shawn had the worst luck. The man had once been struck by lightning, and in the same night got bit by a bat while on his way to the hospital. 

“We need to put your ass in a bubble,” Delilah shook her head. “Thank god Jamie didn’t get any of your wack ass luck.” Jamie was Shawns only child, who was currently studying abroad in Europe. Clearly desperate to change the subject Shawn pinned her with his ‘I heard something about you’ look. 

“So I got an interesting text from mama a few weeks ago,” he began smirking as Delilah narrowed her eyes at him. “She said you came in here to check on her with an older man. Said man was apparently very attentive and a Attending here.” Delilah groaned and rested her head back staring up at the ceiling. She should’ve figured her Grandma would tell her Uncles. 

“Like I told Grandma yesterday, Robby is just a friend. He’s my neighbor and is fun to hang out with.” She refused to tell her Aunt and Uncle she was actually getting her back blown out on the daily by said neighbor. Shawn gave her a look that said ‘bullshit’ but before he could speak a resident stepped into the room with none other than Robby behind them. 

“Hey Mr.Montgomery this is my attending Dr.Robinavitch, we got your X-rays back and thankfully there’s no fractures that are going to need surgery to fix,” the intern explained while showing them the X-Ray. Delilah did her best to ignore Robby which was hard since he was staring a hole into the side of her head. 

“That’s good to hear, am I still going to need a cast?” Shawn asked. It was clear by the look on his face that he recognized Robby’s name. Robby nodded, shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets. 

“Yes sir. What we’re going to do is reset your arm and place you in a soft case. We’re also going to get you a referral to a physical therapist so they can help make sure you don’t lose any mobility in your wrist.” He said. 

“Thank you doctor, I'm sorry, what was your name again?” Shawn asked, faux innocence ringing in his voice. 

“It’s Dr. Robinavitch, but you can call me Dr.Robby.” He answered with a small smile. Delilah felt her stomach clench when he shot her one last look before leaving the room. Sighing as she saw both her Uncle and Aunt were staring at her she grabbed her purse and rose to leave. 

“Well clearly I’m not needed here so I’m going to head out-” Melissa cut her off before she could make her escape. 

“Is that the same Robby that your grandmother is convinced is shaking the sheets with you?” she asked coyly. Delilah felt her face burn as the residents' eyes shot to her as they were putting her uncle in the cast. 

“I plead the fifth.” Delilah answered looking anywhere but at them. Shawn snorted and gave her a droll look. 

“So that means yes you’re fucking the guy who looks like he could be your dad.” Shawn said dryly. Not liking his tone Delilah glared at him, feeling rather protective over the man even if he was an asshole. 

“He’s 47 Uncle Shawn, Dad would’ve been 55.” With that she gave him one last kiss on the cheek and hugged her aunt before walking out of the room. She was almost to the exit when she heard Robby calling her name. Stopping her turned on her heel to see him speed walking toward her. Even when mad at him she couldn’t help the way her body responded to seeing him, which just irritated her more. 

“Will you come talk with me? In Private?” He asked. She wanted to say no but when she saw the sadness in his brown eyes she felt her resolve melt. Sighing a bit she nodded and let him lead her toward what was apparently the staff lounge. She leaned against the counter watching him as he leaned against the door watching her. It was silent for a moment as the two of them simply watched each other. Robby rubbed the back of his neck, an anxious tick of his, before letting out a sigh. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m sorry for last night and for what I said when I saw you in here. It was incredibly hurtful and you didn’t deserve any of that.” Delilah watched as he seemed to struggle to get the words out and her heart broke just a bit. Pushing away from the counter she walked across the room to wrap her arms around Robby’s waist burying her face in his chest. He tensed for just a moment before hugging her back resting his cheek on the top of her head. 

“Apology accepted,” She mumbled. She could feel the tension leave his body as he pressed a kiss to her head. Pulling her head back just a bit she gave him a mock glare. 

“You ever talk to me the way you did in the last 12 hours and I promise I will put a chastity device on you and throw away the key,” She said, Robby stared down at her eyes wide like he didn’t know what to make of her at that moment. Giving him a soft kiss she stepped back and poked him in the chest. “You need to get back to work, mister. Would you like to come over after your shift?” She asked, suddenly feeling shy. Robby’s smile was bigger this time as he pressed his forehead to hers, tightening his grip around her waist. 

“I would love nothing more."

[thepradapariah]

Astrology Observations

Twin Flames 😇😈, Karmics 🪐 & Soulmates 🕊

AUTHOR’S NOTES

Hello to all the Kosmic Baddies!! And welcome to all the new ones! I ADORE you all. All the positive comments and words of encouragement really make my soul warm and it means the world to me that you enjoy the content as much as I enjoy making it.

You all have given me the energy to write something else! And I appreciate it because I get so bored……………………………………

Thank y’all. Love y’all and I hope y’all enjoy this post. If you aren’t interested in my definitions, you can scroll down to the observations. I promise, I won’t take it personally :)

With Love & Lust,

A-D

INTRODUCTION

Unlike most of my other posts, this is a breakdown for how to read soulmate connections in a chart. Most of these observations are ones that me and my sister made just studying couples in pop culture and in our personal relationships. I thought it would be a fun post to write how I categorize these different kinds of relationships.

This post is probably my most subjective in awhile. These aren’t rules, per-say, but they are patterns I noticed when studying different relationships.

First, I will breakdown MY interpretations of what all these different titles mean, and then I will breakdown how they MAY appear in a chart. It is imperative to have the correct birth details for these observations to reign true. In Vedic Astrology, you don’t have to have a birth time because you can use these same calculations through the Moon chart. (Making the moon sign the ascendent. For instance, I am an Aquarius Sun and an Aries Moon, so my Moon chart starts with Aries. So my first house is in Aries, Second house in Taurus, third house in Gemini etc. My sister on the other hand is a Gemini Sun, Scorpio Moon, so her Moon Chart would be Scorpio in the first house, Sagittarius in the second house, Capricorn in the third house etc. Moon charts are a nifty thing to look at when doing astrological overlays, particularly if you don’t have an accurate birth time).

Again, just a friendly reminder that this is a PERSONAL OPINION piece. Now, for those of you who have been with me for my previous post, you know I’m not talking out my ass. So I can absolutely promise that I am giving you the most educated and thought out explanation that I can give at the moment. I am by no means the final say on ANY of this stuff, I am far from God and don’t want to be the judge or the jury…it is faaaarrr too much work. But please understand that there may be some things in this post you disagree with~ that is LOVELY, share your opinion with me in the comment section, I am more than happy to hear from you and listen to your insight!

But without further ado, let's break this down shall we?

DEFINITIONS

Karma:

Hinduism, Buddhism. action, seen as bringing upon oneself inevitable results, good or bad, either in this life or in a reincarnation: in Hinduism one of the means of reaching Brahman.: Compare bhakti (def. 1), jnana.

Theosophy. the cosmic principle according to which each person is rewarded or punished in one incarnation according to that person's deeds in the previous incarnation.

Soulmates:

Soulmates are just that– a mate for your soul. This is another soul, individual, or essentially another life force that you just “get”. Every relationship comes with its ups and downs and soulmates always seem to find one another no matter what. I find animals to be some of the BEST examples of soulmates out there. Isn’t it crazy how you can form a bond with another life force? I don’t find it to be a coincidence that animals and their hoomans can even look alike!

But enough with the furry friends, let's talk about hooman friends as well! Soulmates can also manifest as people (duh…)– whether super long lasting or a fleeting moment. Some friendships can prove to be some of the most profound soulmates in the course of a lifetime.

And of course…a soulmate can be a lover. We will discuss what can make a soulmate different from a twin flame further in the post. But yes, soulmates can absolutely manifest as boyfriends/girlfriends/theyfriends/husbands/wifes/partners etc. This is probably the most common and sought after kind of soulmate in mainstream culture, but I cannot express enough how soulmates can manifest in so many different ways. You know how Prince would rock out with that beautiful purple guitar? I consider that guitar to be a soulmate? After all, they shared a vibration and what is a man without his tools? As long as science says that everything is made up of tiny atoms, and each person, place, or thing contains its own vibration, we are bound to time and space by our soul’s connection. These types of connections help us move through the void of the darkness and chaos that is the universe, and we will be defined by the contracts of our souls through lifetimes and eons. (Smeeexxiiii, huh)

Twin Flames:

All twin flames are soulmates, but not all soulmates are twinflames. This is IMPERATIVE to understand when you are defining your connections for yourself. It seems to be trendy in mainstream culture to conflate the two, but these relationships have very distinct qualities and very different karmas (lessons). For the sake of starting on solid ground, let’s say that Twin Flames are like soulmates on steroids. Why? Because the contract level of Twin Flames can be an extremely heightened feeling and bring out the best and worst of ourselves so we can confront ourselves through a mirror like image, a reflection, if you will, so we can truly see ourselves through a 3rd eye perspective. Sounds like a lot of mumbo-jumbo, huh? Well, it kind of is. This may be a hot take, but it is an important one, NOT EVERYONE WILL EXPERIENCE A TWIN FLAME RELATIONSHIP IN THEIR LIFETIME. I repeat, NOT EVERYONE WILL EXPERIENCE A TWIN FLAME RELATIONSHIP IN THEIR LIFETIME. Why? Again, because this is HIGH level spiritual work that most souls just aren’t prepared to encounter. To be fair, just because it’s high level spiritual work does not equate to it being “high vibrational”. Most Twin Flame journeys deal with lower vibrations in order to raise them. So don’t confuse the work with the payoff. Twin Flames catapult one’s soul to the next dimension when it comes to spiritual growth and learning. One of the most popular modern examples of a Twin Flame relationship is…drum roll, please…Twilight (Spoiler Alert!). Bella started out as an innocent, run-of-the-mill suburban average teenage boring, blah blah blah, nothing-special kind of girl, with perhaps a proclivity towards darkness, who got entangled with a 300 year old vampire (or however old….), went on to experience the highs and very very very lows of a relationship, flirted with death, lost him, got him again, was deflowered, got pregnant, damn near lost her life trying to give birth and ultimately had to be “killed”/ “turned” by Edward– literally (or figuratively because it’s in a book…) “dying” to be born again and made anew. Essentially growing from an innocent virginal girl, to a very powerful woman & mother. Meanwhile, Jacob, who I would argue is simply a soulmate (see the difference…he was obviously the “safer” choice, but would not have sparked that dramatic of a shift in her soul) just watches from the sidelines. It’s just worth noting how traumatic that entire 4-book series and 5-part movie is from Bella’s perspective, but also from Edward’s. His darkness engulfed her willingly, like Hades to Perspephone. He wasn’t really a willing participant– until he unleashed all his passions and desires onto her. She reflected back to him a purer version of himself that was lost to the past and to his “vampirism”, while she was drawn to him to take her out of the mundane expectations of suburban living. Both parties were made to sacrifice a sacred part of themselves in order to embrace one another, but ultimately to embrace their truest form. For Bella, it was her becoming a mind-bending vampire…a FAR cry from the less than average suburban girl she started as. And for Edward, it was to bring love and happiness back into his life. He had to let go of his “I’m a monster” perspective of himself and see that although he is a lust driven, blood sucking, overly wealthy, perpetual teenager…he is…in fact, worthy of love. Awwww…now isn’t that just…romantic? To the teenage version of me…yes. To the adult version of me who has bills to pay…not so much. However, the story is a powerful one because it clearly illustrates the drama, the passion, the highs, the lows, the love, the lust, the hate, the envy in a spiritual twin flame connection.

(Tangent, but the word envy made me realize another key difference in the twin flame journey versus the soulmate or karmic journey…Envy plays a major part in twin flame relationships. There is something that you feel your twin has, that you feel like you don’t. Going back to our Twilight example, Bella envied Edward for his mystique, and his seemingly other worldly experiences. She envied his relationship to his own darkness. She found him interesting, to say the least. He was a masterful artist, a great pianist, wicked smart, and a selfless individual. Bella, at best, was a mid-level high school student. She didn’t have any talent, any hobbies, any desires. She was very boring and humdrum. She envied him for being so ridiculously complex. She was essentially a blackhole, wanting to be filled by him– sexually, physically, mentally, etc…She wanted nothing more than to dissolve into his world, inheriting his self-hatred and his life issues (like the Volutrie)...she envied his essence. On the other hand, Edward was envious of her purity. He found deep comfort in her lack-lusterness. She was beyond ordinary. So ordinary, in fact, she became extraordinary to him. To see a virginal young woman, full of life, and promise, brought him great desire. A desire he fought for like 3 books/movies. Edward, was by far, the “runner” in this scenario because he absolutely felt that his presence in Bella’s life would destroy her. And for what it’s worth, he was absolutely correct. He demolished her from the inside out– taking her virginity to ultimately making her a mother, an evolutionary act within itself. The triumph of the virgin to the whore pipeline (lol, no pun intended, but pun definitely accepted). Tangent over lol)

BUT what makes them a twin flame specific quality is the fact that you realize, you are actually the same. Edward was equally as dark as he was pure and same for Bella. There was no need to envy one another because they were both capable of all states of being. Edward and Bella are a good and bad example of twin flames, because they are the rare twin flames that stay together. So it’s beautiful they were able to find a middle ground and create a child and merge families–blah blah blah…but, that is pretty uncommon. MOST, not all, but MOST twins do not end up with a happily ever after. They usually are unable to reconcile their souls' differences. These relationships are usually to prepare one another for a high vibrational soulmate.

Karmic Soulmates:

Karmic Soulmates, are souls that have past-life unfinished business OR are meant to inspire a lesson that may or may not be resolved in this life in general. Karma/Karmic is a neutral term, so this type of relationship doesn’t have to be inherently good or inherently bad. It is a relationship that brings forth lessons so the soul can carry out the rest of its karmic mission. These relationships can play out in a romantic way, but they tend to be more on the platonic side. You can be in a Karmic relationship with your mother, brother, sister, teacher, etc. as well as a place! You can have a significant bond with a city, country, place and time. Anything that promotes the soul’s growth through support, challenges and forces you to learn, is a karmic contract/soulmate.

You are certainly meant to learn. But because of Karma being ruled by the planet Saturn, these relationships can go on for a long time, can be extremely difficult and will keep pressisting until the lesson is learned and the karma is fulfilled.

Karmics tend to have a negative connotation, particularly in the youtube tarot world, but it genuinely doesn’t have to be. In fact, I argue that all significant relationships are inherently karmic– be it clearing up Karma from a past-life, or creating new karma for the next.

Always remember, the universe is neutral. Lessons are neutral. Love/Hate is…neutral. We need not judge the nature of any relationship, including our own, if it means to help enlighten, enrich and grow our souls. We are social creatures and we don’t learn lessons about ourselves in a vacuum. Different souls, people, places, and things can trigger our growth in ways that we are incapable of imagining beforehand.

I say all that to say, as one of my favorite quotes from a family friend who passed away years ago said, “some things, you just don’t need to experience”. There will be times in life where you touch the fire and need to feel it to get burned…other times, you will know what that burning feels like and will turn away. This is the perfect system of Karma. Sometimes you will get burned, whether you “asked for it” or not, and other times, you will know that there is no need to even play with the fire to begin with.

So take everything in life with a grain of salt and a shot of whiskey! Life is supposed to be fun…even the not so fun parts! Live, laugh, love, lust & learn! Enjoy the moment.

(This is a great example of a non romantic karmic, he wrote this song for his grandmother who passed & it catapulted him to another dimension career wise)

OBSERVATIONS

Observation 1

Do not underestimate the power of Chinese Astrology

Hear. Me. Out. I haven’t found a more accurate astrology for relationships than Chinese astrology. Crazy, I know. But Chinese Astrology is extremely straightforward. Screw the birth times, you just need a month and year and you’ve got all you need. I always joke that I exclusively date through Chinese Astrology, but I am seriously only half kidding (lol). I kid you not, whenever I study my relationships through this particular astrological lens, I am genuinely AWE STRUCK with how uncannily accurate it is. Try it! Next time you find yourself dating, or even checking the compatibility with your current mate, read a few articles and see how it lines up for you. I’m sure you’ll be pleasantly surprised. I manifest partners through their Chinese zodiac because I am so passionate about it! It hasn’t let me down yet!

***Note: I don’t have this as an official observation because it’s not astrologically based, but look into numerology as well when studying compatibility! It is VERY insightful.

Observation 2

Usually Twin Flames/Soulmates have Gemini placements somewhere in their personal planets or ascendent

So this take may not sit well with everyone, because you may feel limited in the types of soulmates you can encounter if you don’t have any Gemini placements. Fret not, keep reading, you may fit in another category.

I am not saying that this is the LAW, I am saying this simply is something I have noticed when studying what I consider twin flame relationships. In most Twin Flame/Soulmate relationships, the Zodiac sign of the twin is usually present for BOTH individuals/souls. The psychic nature of Gemini makes it very easy to just “get” someone, and feel as if you’ve known them for years. Have you ever heard two Geminis talk to one another? It can be hard to keep up with them!

Soooooo…..I feel the same to be true when it comes to these kinds of intense relationships.

It is also worth noting that Gemini is ruled by Mercury. Mercury/Hermes in Greek Mythology is the only God that can travel between Mt. Olympus (Heaven, so to speak) and The Underworld (Hell, if you will). I think this is important because it demonstrates why Gemini placements in particular can experience a love of such depth. It can go into the pits of hell and to the glories of heaven with ease, making it one of the most valuable placements for a twin flame relationship.

Another note is, in traditional tarot, The Lovers card is depicted by the twins. I feel this is a significant indicator of a deep soulmate connection because of the telepathy and how intertwined lovers/gemini energy can be. The inherent closeness of these soulmates is intrinsic to closeness that is required for any level soulmate/twinflame. Nonverbal communication can play a major role in these types of connections. As chatty as Geminis can be, it’s what they don’t say that ACTUALLY matters. Only another Gemini person would understand that.

Now, Virgo is also ruled by Mercury, but Venus is in detriment in the sign of Virgo. I don’t think Virgo fits this description as well, because Virgo is inherently about solitude, represented by The Hermit in traditional tarot, making it more about virginity/purity than about a 3D twin flame physical connection. To be honest, I just haven’t witnessed it as much when dissecting charts, but I will study it more and perhaps my opinion will change. But as of right now, I don’t believe Virgo placements depict as strong of a connection as Gemini in this case. Feel free to prove me wrong! I’m always open.

Back to Geminis…It seems so weird that Gemini energy would be the ones who attract such intense relationships because they seem so, unloving…but one of my favorite Gemini on Gemini relationships is Courtney Love (Gemini Sun & Moon) and Kurt Cobain (Gemini Moon). Ooof. OOOF. But it was like they had their own language and lived in their own world. Now, that relationship ended up in tragedy…but hey…they had some “fun” moments. They were so similar and too similar at the same time, that it fueled an outwardly bizarre connection, but to them it made perfect sense. This is the power that a double gemini connection can have. Minus to tragedy part.

Observation 3

Twin Flames almost always have the SAME zodiac placements or DIRECT OPPOSITE zodiac placements.

This rule, without fail, is one of the most important and powerful observations that I have come across. If you are checking the zodiac for twin flame compatibility, I will almost say YOU MUST have the same or opposite placements in the big three (rising, sun, moon) and/or Venus and Mars.

This can be ANY SIGN in ANY HOUSE.

For example: You have Sun in Scorpio, Moon in Cancer, Rising in Sagittarius…Your twin could have Sun in Virgo, Moon in Taurus, Rising in Aries. Because the Sun and Moon are in opposite signs, you could experience a twin flame relationship.

Another example: You have Sun in Gemini, Moon in Aquarius, Rising in Pisces…Your twin could have Sun in Libra, Moon in Leo, Rising in Aquarius. Because the Moon and Rising are in the same sign, you could experience a twin flame relationship.

You can mix and match, as long as something mixes and other things matches (lol). I’ve seen so many charts of couples that share placements or have opposite placements and immediately I go “uh! Twin Flame!”.

I think this is due to the illicit push and pull nature/mirroring nature of Twin Flame relationships.

This is where “real” science comes in. All energy has an action and a reaction to create equilibrium. This is why this particular observation is so important. As I’ve stated from the beginning, when it comes to Twin Flame relationships, they are meant to teach, expand, challenge and heal, so it makes sense that you would be met with the opposite force and attract one another OR the same force and repel one another. (Let’s talk physics…think magnets…two positives and two negatives repel, but a negative and a positive attract…woot woot! Call me Bill Nye biiisshhhessss) The entire effect is to make your soul ebb and flow so it can reach a state of neutrality. You want someone to challenge your opinions and your sense of self so you can know what/ who you are. If you’ve never had a mirror, how do you know what you look like? Again, the same is true when someone is so similar to you. You may look at them and go “wow, is this how I come off?”. Just to reemphasis, I don’t want this to come across as an inherently negative thing, it doesn’t have to be. It just usually requires a highly developed spiritual understanding to see that. This particular alignment can give the “can’t live with em, can’t live without em” feeling.

If you have complementary placements, like your Sun is in Capricorn and your partner has their Moon in Taurus, this may be more of an indication of a soulmate connection. The same can be true if you are both air/air or air/fire or water/water or water/earth.

Now, another way you can see it is if you have opposing elements. But, I don’t think it reads as strong as actual zodiac signs.

Just to be clear, all my examples thus far have been using Sun, Moon and Rising, but this trick can extend to Mars and Venus. So let’s say you have Venus in Cancer and your partner has Mars in Capricorn…it counts!

Observation 4

For long-term compatibility, your partner’s Venus will be the same as one of your placements in your big three or your venus– ESPECIALLY WOMAN in Heteronormative connections or Males in same-sex relationships.

Trigger warning for those who are sensitive about pronouns…please use your imagination. I am talking about ANCIENT astrology, so it is rooted in traditional gender norms. You may disagree, that is fine, no judgment, but for the sake of this observation, you can bear with me…or ignore it. The choice is yours!

Now, I am talking about a man’s Venus placement here. In traditional astrology, Venus indicates the man’s wife. So if your “man” has Venus in Pisces, you may have Pisces Sun, Moon, Rising OR Venus/any other water placements. This would make you complementary. In fact, I would say if his Venus placement aligns with your chart, other placements in the chart won’t matter as much.

For example, You are a Gemini Sun, Libra Moon, Aquarius Rising. If your partner is a Pisces Sun, Cancer Moon, Scorpio Rising, BUT their Venus is in Gemini, Aquarius, or Libra…you’re in luck! From the big three, it may seem as if you are completely incompatible, but low and behold, your partner loves what you are putting down, so the “differences” may not be so different after all.

Venus is EXTREMELY important to long-term relationships. So is the 7th house. I won’t go down that rabbit hole for this particular post, but keep that in the back of your mind.

These connections may not be as intense as Twin Flame, but this is certainly a great indication for a wonderful connection. Let me say, like I said in the beginning, not every soul needs to experience a twin flame connection for its evolution. If you are wanting something more grounded, then follow this rule of thumb when checking initial compatibility with a partner.

BONUS: If your person’s Venus falls in your first house, this is a great indication of producing love at first sight! Now…other placements matter, obviously, but this is an extremely powerful indication of strong, immediate, attraction.

Side Note: For Women, you would look at your Jupiter placement for compatibility with your “husband”! I find that you can also use this rule for Mars when it comes to “boyfriends” as well.

Observation 5

Synastry and Overlays Matter!!!!!!!

Definitions:

Synastry- When comparing two natal charts, this calculates the planetary alignment between two individuals.

Examples- Mars conjunct Venus or Sun trine Saturn

Overlay- When comparing two natal charts, this calculates how a person’s planets fall into another person’s house system.

Examples- Person A’s Jupiter is in Person B’s 8th House. Or Person A Venus sits in Person B’s First House.

(if these are new concepts to you, I HIGHLY suggest you do some research. Tumblr has some wonderful posts dedicated to these practices that are highly informative. I would love to do posts concerning synastry and overlays in the future!)

Okay, this may be the MOST important observation, but it is more advanced than Sun/Moon/Rising/Venus compatibility. This requires you to have knowledge of the WHOLE HOUSE system (sorry, western astrology) and deep comprehension of planets, conjunctions, oppositions, trines, squares and aaaaallll that good stuff.

My sister and I LOVE synastry and overlays. It really puts entire relationships into context to see how your chart lines up and what underlying energies you’re dealing with, regardless of the actual placements. How the planets react to one another and how those planets show up in your chart is MUY IMPORTANTE! Chances are, if you’ve read these other rules and they haven’t resonated with you, I guarantee, you’ve had a relationship that is based more on planetary alignment than zodiac compatibility.

(Just to be clear…this is why I started off with Chinese astrology…Chinese astrology is INSANELY accurate and doesn’t require nearly as much study as what I am saying here. DO NOT underestimate the power of Chinese astrology when it comes to compatibility. I love how accurate it is with very little information.)

With this rule, you don’t need birth times, but my goodness do they make an impact when doing overlays. If you don’t have accurate birth times, always remember you can do it off the moon chart, which essentially makes the moon the ascendent sign. Just know, for an accurate overlay, you will need to use the moon sign for BOTH charts. It will not be as accurate if you use your birth chart with an accurate birth time and overlay to their moon sign. It isn’t “wrong” per say, it just isn’t nearly as precise. You want to use the same charts. Moon charts overlay one another and natal charts overlay one another. If you have both birth times, then do both! Go wild! The more the merrier!

Now, I am not going to go in depth about what these two practices mean, because that’s an entire post within itself and I wanted to keep this one “short and sweet”. But I will say, for a rule of thumb, if you have strong trines, oppositions, and conjunctions with a person, that is an indicator of a twin flame, soulmate, and karmic connection. If you have Saturn, Pluto, Venus, Neptune and Mars with low orbs, this can indicate a soul contract/intense connection. If yours or their placements sit in your 1st/7th/8th/12th house, this can be a VERY strong indication of a powerful & spiritual connection. There are plenty of ways this can be mixed and matched. The relationship between two charts is so important, they are a study within themselves. I am only scratching the surface here, so if you are a novice, again, I cannot express enough how exciting it is to do some digging when it comes to this stuff in relationships.

There are plenty of free synastry calculators online, so please use them as a resource– even if you don’t understand the calculations, it is important to see the results. These placements can truly unlock a much deeper understanding of your relationships that you just won’t get when it comes to looking solely at your charts at face value!

Let me know if you’d like me to discuss these topics further moving forward! You know I love to spread the knowledge, and there is just something so sexy about synastry and overlays…it’s honestly one of my favorite parts about Vedic astrology!

Bonus: North Node/Rahu and South Node/Ketu can play a VITAL role when determining what kind of karmic relationship you are in.

POP QUIZ

Just kidding, there is no test, because I’m too lazy to grade anything, BUT here is an example of what I’m talking about when combining the previous observations. I am not doing a super deep dive, but I want you to see how everything overlaps and intersects.

Let’s use Rihanna and ASAP Rocky as an example. Their connection hits on a few different cylinders. Rihanna is an Aquarius Sun and ASAP Rocky has his Venus in Leo. Why does this matter? Although Rihanna is an opposite, so Sun opposition Venus, which is twin flame-y, she is a FAMOUS, CREATIVE, ENTERTAINER and MUSE…this is ALL dealing of the 5th House/Leo energy, so it make sense…for now…as to why he would be attracted to her. She has No Leo placements in her big three, but because it’s the opposite, we go to that push-pull magnet thing I was talking about earlier. As far as how their relationship will play out long-term, I have ZERO idea, but I can say their attraction to one another is very real, but it will probably be volatile at times because of the Sun Venus Opposition. I’m sure her ego will cause difficulties to his love language, BUT he may be able to take it, because his Venus is ruled by the Sun. See how layered and complex it can be? And we are just looking at one placement. They work because he enjoys the attention that she brings (not in a vampire way, just in a “wow, isn’t my lady so cool” kind of way) and he allows her to shine without dimming her light, while she enjoys the fawning that he gives her. He loves that his partner is larger than life and Rihanna is larger than life because…well…she’s Rihanna. She is able to appreciate him, because at this point in time, he doens’t in any way seem like he is trying to compete with her. He is a confident person who can stand beside and behind such a force, BECAUSE he has such a strong Venus placement.***

Relationships aren’t black and white. These are just observations and rules/patterns that I have found to be true. But as you’ll see, as I have presented, some things will contradict, some things won't make sense, what makes sense for one chart doesn’t make sense for another. Etc… This is such a fun topic because it really is like a puzzle. And it really is a case by case basis. The more in depth you can look at a chart, the more knowledge you can walk away with.

FINAL THOUGHTS/MINI RANT

Oof….okay, what a ride! (Can you believe I had the intention of this being a short post. HA!) I hope that you were able to take something away from this post and learn something new! As you can see…there is a very intricate science behind how soulmates/karmics and twin flames work. It is so much deeper than saying “oh wow, that’s my twin flame”...like…maybe? I feel mainstream spirituality/astrology/tarot has taken that phrase and run with it. And saying “if you identify as twin flames then you are” is misleading. It really isn’t something you “identify” with. They either are or are not your twin flame. There isn’t an in between. It is not ambiguous and it can be fact checked. Also, twin flame makes it seem like you can only have one…I don’t think that’s the case. I think you meet as many “twins”/mirrors/soulmates/karmics as you need until your soul learns the lesson. Have you ever felt like you just keep meeting the same person over and over and over again? That’s because we are talking about soul recognition and not necessarily 3D body recognition.

You may be attracting different “people”, but you could be attracting the same “spirit”. So don’t always get so hung up on a particular person. TRUST ME BABES, if there is unfinished business, that same energy will come back around over and over and over and over again until you geeeetttt ittttt.

Another note is, if you’re like me, and you have exalted Venus in Pisces conjunct Ketu…then every relationship feels twin-flame-y. Why? Because I have my relationship planet tightly conjunct my south node, so I am on a spiritual journey on my own when it comes to relationships…my twin flame is most likely…Jesus Christ…sooooooo……yeah. (I kid, I kid, but not really. My placement can indicate being a nun…and trust me, after dealing with the crap I’ve had to put up with when it comes to these men folks, I have absolutely considered giving my body to God…cuz these men just don’t do right…lol…anyways…) Men and relationships have become my life’s work…which is why I am here sharing this information with you today. Each relationship is very nuanced but all have similar themes.

I am very much into tarot and astrology and all the things, but I do feel like there is a fad going around about this twin flame business. And as much as I enjoy a tarot reading popping up on my tiktok talking about my “twin”, I am always acutely aware that it can be a mislabeling and inspire people to put up with all kinds of crap for the sake of the label. If you’re going to be in a shxtty relationship, then be in a shxtty relationship, but don’t misuse the word. Twin Flame does not automatically translate to terrible, explosive, runner-chaser relationships and it does not excuse poor behavior. There is a difference between someone who is making mistakes because they are trying to learn and someone who is taking advantage of someone who won’t stand up for themselves. Sometimes, someone you like, just doesn't like you and your ego in tandem with your fear of rejection/abandonment is preventing you from actually growing and pursuing a relationship that would benefit and promote your soul’s growth. It’s almost like getting stuck on level one of a video game. Until you beat that internal need for validation from one specific person/soul…you’ll never get to play the next part of the game. Now…this isn’t me saying that soulmate/twin flame/karmic relationships don’t have their downsides, but I am saying, at least know the kind of energies you’re dealing with before you go putting pressure on a presumably less evolved/knowledgeable individual expecting them to “challenge your soul” and you haven’t even challenged yourself. This whole twin flame ordeal is like handing a toddler some markers and leaving them alone in a room full of white walls– it is bound to get messy. Soulmates are a BEAUTIFUL thing. And very rarely, I mean VERY rarely can a twin flame move into a more relaxed “soulmate” relationship. It is not impossible, but the amount of effort that is required to transcend, is unbelievable. BOTH PARTIES have to be spiritually mature and aware to do the work. This connection is NOT one sided…BOTH individuals are required to learn, grow and HEAL. Mind you, healing is the main reason for these kinds of relationships. There is no way to heal when your relationships keep pouring salt into an open wound. People can get caught up with and hang on to people for far too long because of a mislabeling. It is equivalent to a misdiagnosis from a medical doctor. Sure, you may have a cold, but if they misdiagnose you with a broken leg…are you receiving the right treatment? NO! And now you won’t heal properly! TO BE CLEAR…I believe in fate– so if you meet someone and you have an extraordinarily intense connection, you probably fit one or more of these rules and THAT IS why I am making this post. I want you to do the research for your own sanity so you can express FREE-WILL in whether you want to walk down that path or not with a certain individual– while also knowing the other person has free-will too. No label, or synastry, or overlay, or Chinese compatibility will change the fact that you may be fated to meet someone, but free-will may take you down different paths.

On another, equally important note…It is also possible to end up and stay with the wrong person. It is! You may look at a chart and follow some of these patterns and realize, you have NO BUSINESS with that individual. But people end up with the wrong people all the time. People have wasted LIFETIMES with someone they had no business with. But their ego decided they were a “soulmate” or a “twin flame” or they aren’t “healed”/spiritually awaken enough to realize they can do better…and low and behold…they were wrong and they wasted precious time. Now they’re miserable, can’t figure out why, and they end walking straight past a real soulmate in a supermarket…unable to even recognize them because they are so bogged down and clouded in their unhealed ego and a bad relationship that has cut them so far off from their own divinity, they can’t recognize love if it smacked them in the face. DON’T LET THAT BE YOU!

THERE ARE LEVELS TO RELATIONSHIPS!!!!!!!!! Not every soulmate will be as intense as the next. Not every boyfriend/girlfriend will be as compatible as the last. Love is a game of musical chairs. There is movement, there is stillness, seats get taken away, and eventually, there is a winner. And babe, it will ALWAYS be you. You will always be the last one standing when it comes to relationships because you have free-will. (Let’s not forget the importance of the 1st House/7th House axis. You vs Relationships. It is as equally you as it is them.) You are bound by nothing. You are bound to no one. You are love. You are light. If you do the work, you may find a wonderful, loving, long-lasting relationship full of romance, but this is not guaranteed. You AND your partner have to choose each other every single day. The best relationships require discipline, work, forgiveness, “God”/some higher power, and love– no matter who you cross paths with in this life…you have to do this for yourself first and foremost. Alas, if you are too caught up in people who won’t meet you in the 3D, let alone the 5D…you will always fall flat of what you are looking for. The chair will always be ripped from under you when the music stops. Always. All of this is irrelevant if it doesn’t come from within. And this is why I want to express it one last time…NOT EVERYONE WILL EXPERIENCE A TWIN FLAME CONNECTION. You don’t understand how much you have to overcome rejection, overcome fear, overcome lust, desire, ego ALL the things, to open yourself up enough to join forces with another soul and try to tackle life together. Your ultimate lover is not your savior– they are your equal. You have to save yourself. You are not your ultimate lover’s savior. THEY have to save themselves. You ain’t super(wo)man and they aren’t either. Your partner has to be willing to do the same work…THAT’S what makes them a twin. It is not because they are treating you like shxt, babes…

Learn the lessons. Do the work. Love every bit of the journey…especially the crappy parts, because THAT’S what will make it all worth it in the end and you’ll enjoy the beautiful parts as much as the Greek Gods enjoy sweet nectar and ambrosia.

Why is this important to differentiate? Why now?

Now, one thing is for sure…and two things for certain, I am psychic and I have seen in my crystal ball that there is heavy energy of union in the atmosphere. I am hoping that whoever stumbles upon this post, is on the path of self-discovery which ultimately leads to liberation because not all union is good union. (I think covid brought in a lot of bad unions for example…but that is another topic for another day). The days are getting darker, and the evil forces are getting stronger (am I being dramatic enough for ya?) so it is important to know exactly what we are all up against. Only few are chosen to be in relationships that are led by light. There is so much overwhelming darkness now and I don’t want anyone that I am influencing to fall into the trap. There is potential for WONDERFUL, POWERFUL, SEXY, LOVING, LONG-LASTING & HIGHLY SPIRITUAL unions right now. But you may be tempted by something that seems beautiful and it is nothing of the sort. So please, do your research. Love with all your heart. Let spirit lead you! Let love find you, there is no need to seek it out! Take calculated risk! Open up your heart chakra! But ultimately, always be mindful of the wolves in sheep's clothing.

Ciao ✌🏾

[ghasel]

🏳️‍🌈🧿 pride month pick a card: WHO YOU TRULY ARE 🧿🏳️‍🌈

remember: only you can know who you are truly, this reading is NOT to tell you who you are, but to let you read about your true self.

Hello!

i’ve thought this reading, since it’s pride month, especially for queer people, in particular (but not only!) for who is not often perceived as who they truly are: this reading is to be perceived as you truly are, regardless of what people around you think of you

as usual the reading will be made by two parts: this free reading and an extended version on my patreon! In the extended we will clarify the oracles of the free reading with tarot cards, but if you can’t/don’t want to pay for the extended no worries: this free reading is totally readable as a standalone!

p.s. i love you, stay safe and remember you deserve to be happy

how to use this reading: pick the pile that resonates with you from the picture below, then scroll down and read the respective reading! in this reading specifically, you know you have found your pile if you find yourself in what comes out

[image description: the tree piles, each with their number; on the top there are some crystal displayed in a raibow pattern]

pile 1

[image description: pile 1 spread, composed by three oracle cards displayed and three covered tarot cards; over these cards there is written "unveil this cards and the full reading on my patreon"]

elephant (community, perseverance): you are someone who has hope; despite what you may or may not had to live through, there's an energy of coming out on the other side and this side is bright, free and has the energy of a community that works; you may be working on building something like this or "simply" it's your dream and your natural attitude; I feel like you may be an older queer, someone who didn't have the chance of living their childhood and youth with the freedom that, at least in some places, is possible now and so you have memories and experiences that not everyone has and they let you see, have the evidence of how far we've come. There is really the energy of someone who has overcome some bad shit and now sees what's around them, recognizes the issues we need to work on, but is also very aware of the improvements from just a few years ago; there is an energy of someone who's quet, not showing off, but quietly working in the background to help who needs your help, a gentle leadership if you will

jupiter (18): Jupiter talks about expansion: you seem the type of person who always strives for more, for better, for more experiences, but not because you're never happy with what you have, but because you know that there's always room for growth, for new things, to widen your horizons; it may have a practical side, learning new things that can help you in your daily life, or just expansion for expansion's sake, for example travelling and learning how people live in another country, but without really wanting to live there - just to discover; there is also an underlying energy of "the more I know the more I am aware of what goes on" - and hence the more you can get yourself opinions and lines of action that are aligned with your values; Jupiter is the planet that is linked to Sagittarius, so it's possible that in your birth chart you have quite a bit of Sag energy (but it's not necessary, of course)

the hermit "negative": you're not done in your self search and self discovery path, there is still something, maybe some details, maybe something bigger, that doesn't really fit; it feels like you know who you are in many ways, but there's still room for more discovery in some parts because there's this feeling of something being off; this card may tell us that your authomatic instinct when you have a doubt or need to reflect on something is to close off from the world, but it may not be what you really want to do (ex. you close in yourself authomatically, but you'd like to open up with people close to you that you trust); alternatively, you may be the type of person who needs alone time not only to relax and recharge, but to be in the company of your own thoughts without external influences; you may also feel the weight of a responsability that you are now carrying by yourself (ex. single parent who's the only one responsible for their kids)

READ THE SECOND PART OF THIS READING HERE!

p.s. if you subscribe you will also find many other extended readings i've uploaded!

pile 2

[image description: pile 2 spread, composed by three oracle cards displayed and three covered tarot cards; over these cards there is written "unveil this cards and the full reading on my patreon"]

royal eagle (illumination, success): you have worked a lot on yourself; you have worked on who you are, what you want, what you think and believe, how you want your life to happen and now you have clarity in all these aspects; it feels like people around you may be "envious" of this, but you don't really understand why they tell you you're lucky when they can also do the same work you've done and get to a clarity for themselves too; you gave priority to all of this and you are not letting yourself just follow a society-premade pattern without ever stopping to ask youself if this is really what you want; i actually feel that you may have stopped and asked yourself everything you needed to ask before starting to build your life - and that you're building it now that you know who you are and what are you working for; tbh i wouldn't be surprised if you are somewhere on the autistic spectrum because there is a lack of influence from what society wants to assume for us that fits very well with autism (it's not necessary, ofc)

sun (13): the first of your suns! this card always gives me a feeling, for how the figure is represented, of a traveler in the desert, but in this case i think that, as a traveler connects more places with their routes, you connect all the pieces of yourself; it feels like you're a serious person, who hasn't woken up with a metaphorical full size sun in your life randomly, but who has built that full size sun putting together smaller pieces of light, until the image was complete; ex, you found out who you are - that's a mini sun (or more!) - then what you believe and don't believe in -other mini suns - then how you want to live your life - more mini suns … and in the end you've gotten to a full size sun that shines a bright and happy energy on your daily life; basically you're not luckier than anyone else, but you worked your ass off to get where you are now; there is also an energy of keeping track of things, so you may probably come back and re-check if what resonated once still resonates or if there is something that you want to change

the sun "positive"→ there's an happy and almost carefree energy and most of all there is energy, a lot of it, that you use and incanalate towards what aligns with you and makes you feel better; there is almost a vibe of the innocence of children which makes me believe even more that you're not really touched (or you work not to be) by what society assumes and expects from you and you think with your own mind and, even more, with your own heart like a child; this doesn't mean that you don't care about adult responsabilities, but that you're not letting yourself fall into a "life sucks" mentality: you are enjoying your life and it's a much more thuoghtful and on purpose thing that people may think; you are committed to enjoy your life, no matter how much work you need to do for it

READ THE SECOND PART OF THIS READING HERE!

p.s. if you subscribe you will also find many other extended readings i've uploaded!

pile 3

[image description: pile 2 spread, composed by three oracle cards displayed and three covered tarot cards; over these cards there is written "unveil this cards and the full reading on my patreon"]

toad (listening, secrecy): you have a mystic energy, that makes me think of those wise mentors in stories, but at the same time you seem to be focused on yourself, not on mentoring others; i think that the listening this card tells us is listening to yourself, being honest with yourself to know you better and better; especially with secrecy i feel that you are very committed to understand yourself down to the deepest depth (you may be interested in shadowwork); this card gives off an energy of deep meditation to get in touch with your true self, with the deepest parts of you, to know them too; i think you have a clear idea of who you are already, because this feels like "advanced" work: think of like going deep in the sea: you can do it only when you know how to swim and move around the surface levels; to be honest (and this is for all the cards) i wouldn't be surprised if you were a witch or something similar (you don't have to, ofc); to summarize this card i would say deep introspection; also, you may want to go deep about yourself, but possibly also about the culture you come from

capricorn (10): this card is letting us know that you not only want to discover more about yourself, but you already have a lot of certainties about your opinions, what you think and what you believe and, in perfect capricorn fashion, you are very sure about it to the point that you may come across as stubborn; i feel that it's not a matter of stubborness, tho, because you're not fixated on an opinion because you want to be right or refuse to change, but because you have tought and reflexted and worked on this opinion so now you are sure that it's the one that you think it's right and resonates for you; you're not stubborn, you're sure about what you believe; capricorn also has earth energy, which (with the next card) can tell us that you have a good balance between earth life and spiritual life

the high priestess "positive": if the capricorn tells us about earth life, the high priestess talks about spiritual life and my friend i woulnd't be surprised if you are psychic in some ways (again, you don't have to); this card has a very calm energy, the energy of someone who has no doubts in what they believe and hence, if you have one, has no doubt about their spritual practice; to go back a bit to the toad, the high priestess with her water and moon, is also about emotion and introspection, which makes me believe that you are also calm when you're facing something deep: you are not scared of what is hidden, you may even be aware that many times they're scary only bc they're hidden and once brought to light they aren't anymore; it also gives a lot of committed to know yourself energy

READ THE SECOND PART OF THIS READING HERE!

p.s. if you subscribe you will also find many other extended readings i've uploaded!

[mytenthsideblog]

Zayne's (LADS) Natal Birth Chart Analysis

Since Rafayel's birthday, I have been thinking about the LI's birth charts and in honor of Sylus' upcoming birthday, I am looking into the birth charts of each love interest and analyzing them -- starting first with Zayne. Update: Sylus' birth chart analysis is live and can be found here! Caleb's can be found here.

Below is the birth information that I used to create Zayne's natal chart on astrotheme. Keep in mind that because we do not know his birth-time, that the default birth-time is 12pm, which gives us the degrees of each sign in his chart on the day he was born at 12pm. I am doing this analysis for entertainment purposes. Please note that I am still learning and growing in my study of astrology.

September 5th, 2020 in Beijing, China.

There are some interesting things that we can see in Zayne's chart. Looking at overall patterns, we can see that Zayne has a Capricorn stellium and a grande earth trine. What do those two things mean?

First, the Capricorn stellium means that he has heavy Capricorn energy in his chart (Jupiter, Saturn, and Pluto in Capricorn), which is not a surprise given how serious and dedicated he is to his work and other pursuits. Note that asteroids do not count when it comes to stelliums, which is why Pallas is not included and why Zayne does not have an Aries stellium. Also, depending on who you ask, some may say that stelliums only count when it involves the inner planets, but in this case, I am looking into overall energy by including the outer planets.

Second, a grande trine is when all signs of an element are present in a chart, generally within the planetary placements. Again, this depends on who you ask, as asteroids don't really count in seeing if a person has a grande trine. In Zayne's case, that means that he has Virgo, Taurus, and Capricorn planetary placements. His grande earth trine is also of no surprise because those with grande earth trines (and grande water trines) tend to be shy and introverted, which we know Zayne is.

Now let's talk about specific placements. The first placement that caught my eye was Zayne's Venus in Cancer, which is because I have this same placement. Venus shows us how we love and gives an insight on we want to be loved (also look to your Moon sign for this). Zayne wants to create a home, a family, a safe space that he can go to after a long day of work. He wants to feel safe and secure in his relationships, especially those that are romantic. Venus in Cancer does tend to be a mothering type when they show their love to the people they care for. You'll know that a Venus in Cancer really likes you when they let you into their home and allow you to be part of their life. The second placement that I noticed was Zayne's Mercury in Virgo. Zayne's manner in communicating is direct and doesn't leave room for a lot of guessing, which is a hallmark of a Mercury in Virgo placement, along with his Virgo Sun.

Zayne has both his Moon and Mars in Aries, which means that he is direct and passionate when it comes to expressing himself. Again, this comes as no surprise, especially when considering his Nightly Rendezvous card. ifykyk. 😏 I'm lowkey jealous that Zayne's Moon and Mars are in the same sign as there isn't as much conflict when it comes to how he expresses himself emotionally and energetically. Although, his Virgo Sun definitely has some say in his energetic expression and movement in life. With the Moon and Mars in Aries we see that Zayne is passionate, but he won't show that passion until he lets you through his high walls that come from his Virgo Sun and Cancer Venus. When he does let you behind his walls, you will find a fiery and romantic lover. Zayne girlies, you are lucky.

Unfortunately, without a birth-time, I can't say anything on how his planets and the houses interact with one another and about the significance of the degrees (granted the degrees aren't gonna really change for outer planets within a day). I'm still learning about aspects so I can't comment on that now, but maybe by the time we get to his birthday I can make a separate post that goes into detail on his natal aspects.

So, yeah. What do you think? If you have any questions or want me to talk more about certain placements in Zayne's chart, leave a comment or send me a message.

[theskywithin]

There’s More to the Houses Than You Think

Twelve Doors Into the Soul’s Memory

✨ Author’s Note: In my first book, I explored the birth chart through a classic, psychological lens, grounded in human experience and practical meaning. But the more I worked with astrology, the more I began to hear the voice of the soul beneath the structure. This post is a glimpse into the second book I’m now writing, one that deeply explores the chart from a soul-centered perspective. Together, both books offer two sides of the same truth: one helps you understand your human path, the other guides you through your soul’s remembering. I hope you like it ✨ Stay Tuned! 🪐

✦ First House

The 1st House is the starting line of the soul, the moment your essence chose to return. It’s the place where you re-entered the world and agreed, once again, to exist in form. This house shows both where and how you began this life, where you landed, and how you chose to appear. The sign on the cusp describes the energetic style you needed to embody in that first breath, not just physically, but spiritually. It holds the imprint of your earliest instinct: the moment your soul said, “I am here.” But this isn’t necessarily your truest self. It’s the version of you that could survive the landing. The shape you had to take. The armor you wore before you were safe enough to soften. The way you moved before you were ready to feel. From a soul perspective, the 1st House is not just a mask, it’s a memory. A memory of separation. Of stepping out of the infinite and into a single identity. Of agreeing to be seen even when you didn’t yet remember who you were. This house carries the imprint of your karmic threshold. The edge you crossed when you said: “I’ll try again. But this time, I’ll begin like this.”

✦ Second House

If the 1st House is the moment the soul says “I am,” then the 2nd is where it asks, “Can I stay?” This house is the soul’s relationship with presence, permission, and permanence. Permission to take up space. Permission to trust the body. Permission to receive without proving you’ve earned it. From a soul perspective, the 2nd House carries the imprint of embodiment, not just living in a body, but belonging to it. Feeling your feet on the ground. Knowing you are allowed to have needs. Choosing to build something slow even after lifetimes of instability or survival. The sign on the cusp and the planets in it show the test your soul willingly walked into. The environment it chose to re-enter in order to unlearn what it once believed was true. Perhaps that safety must be earned. That stillness is dangerous. That having too much leads to loss. That value comes from sacrifice. This house becomes the field where you rewire those beliefs, slowly, gently, in real time. Not to become better. But to come back to yourself. The 2nd House is about what you slowly allow yourself to trust. It asks you to come back into the body not just as a vessel, but as a place worth living in. And to remember that you don’t have to earn what’s already yours.

✦ Third House

This is where the soul wakes up to thought, perception and meaning. The 3rd House holds the soul’s first real conversation with contrast. This is where the world begins to contradict itself, where things stop being simple, and start being interpreted. Here, the soul is surrounded by complexity: early voices, rapid thoughts, competing beliefs. A fast-moving environment of influences that don’t always align. And from that confusion, something begins to form: a personal narrative. A structure. A system of thought, not always true, but deeply familiar. This house holds the tone of your inner voice, the one that speaks when no one is listening. The one that loops. The one that learned early how to make sense of noise. From a soul perspective, the 3rd House is about mental awakening through contradiction. The environment the soul chose to sharpen perception, to question the obvious, to learn how to separate pattern from truth. And the sign on the cusp shows how you process complexity: whether you organize it, absorb it, filter it, challenge it, or whether you’re still learning how to quiet the echo of thoughts that were never fully yours. This isn’t about speaking clearly. It’s about thinking clearly in a world that taught you to do the opposite.

✦ Fourth House

The 4th House is the energetic basement, the root system of the chart. From a soul perspective, it’s about what you carried in with you. This is where the soul stores emotional memory, the deep, quiet kind. Not memory in words, memory in feeling. A kind of energetic USB, holding all the data your body doesn’t remember, but your nervous system never forgot. Here lives the imprint of lifetimes: The ache of having been abandoned. The fear of being invisible. The longing to be held or the decision to never need holding again. This house tells you what still lives inside you from where you’ve been. It holds the climate of your inner world, your unconscious reflex to retreat, to protect, to collapse inward. And the sign on the cusp shows how you manage that emotional archive: whether you wall it off, wrap it in softness, bury it deep, or try to clean it until it disappears. The 4th House isn’t about the home you have. It’s about the home you are. And whether your soul feels safe enough to return to it.

✦ Fifth House

The 5th House is where your soul came to feel light again. This is the part of you that remembers life isn’t just a test. It’s a vacation for the soul. A rare chance to taste strawberries. To dance in sunlight. To kiss someone and not overthink it. To create something beautiful that doesn’t need to prove its worth. From a soul perspective, this house isn’t about performance. It’s not about winning, competing, or collecting praise. It’s about returning to the childlike part of you that once knew how to love boldly, express honestly, and play without wondering who was watching. It’s about presence. About sensation. Because the soul didn’t just come here to evolve, it also came here to experience. The body you live in is a suitcase you brought along to feel everything this life has to offer. The five senses are how your spirit stays grounded in the beauty of being here. This house resists the noise of modern life, the comparison, the urgency, the pressure to always be doing. Here, your soul detoxes from all that. It remembers that joy is not a reward. It’s a right. The sign on the cusp shows how you reclaim that joy: with music, with movement, with curiosity, with warmth. This is about being alive. Present. Sensing. Free. The 5th House is where your soul says: “This is what you came for. Don’t forget to enjoy it.”

✦ Sixth House

The 6th House is where the soul learns how to stay in the body, in the moment, in the motion of daily life. This is not the house of fixing. It’s the house of tending. Of showing up not to perfect yourself, but to care for yourself and the world around you, bit by bit, breath by breath. From a soul perspective, this is where devotion becomes embodied in the way you pour your tea. In the way you care for your nervous system. In how you meet your own needs without shame. This is also where the soul learns how to cooperate with other souls. To walk beside people, not ahead of them, not behind them. To contribute, to support, to serve out of remembrance that you came here together. It’s not about sacrifice. It’s about shared rhythm. About learning how to move in harmony with life, with others, with the version of yourself that needs patience, not pressure. The sign on the cusp shows how you offer your presence: with structure, with softness, with discernment, with sensitivity. The 6th House doesn’t ask you to do something grand. It asks you to do something real. To tend. To stay. And to remember that even the smallest acts, done with care, can become a form of light.

✦ Seventh House

The 7th House is where the soul meets its mirror. Not to find a missing piece but to realize it was never missing at all. This house holds the space where “I” becomes “we.” But from a soul perspective, it’s not about finding the one. It’s about seeing what gets reflected when you stand close to another. What you admire. What you fear. What you hand over without realizing it was yours to begin with. The 7th House is not about romantic endings. It’s about recognition. A place where the soul enters into relationship not for comfort, but for integration. To reclaim the parts of itself it once projected onto someone else. This is where connection becomes a kind of soul work. Where love becomes the mirror that shows you your strength, your shadow, your softness, your patterns. Where you learn that intimacy doesn’t mean merging. It means choosing, again and again, to stay present with another soul while still staying whole. The sign on the cusp reveals how you relate and what you’re still learning to own within yourself. It may show the kind of energy you look for in others because you haven’t yet allowed it to live fully in you. From a soul lens, this house isn’t about losing yourself in someone else. It’s about finding yourself through the act of meeting them. And it asks only one thing in return: Let the mirror soften you, not define you.

✦ Eighth House

The 8th House is where the soul goes to burn. Not in punishment, in purification. This is not the house of endings. It’s the house of unraveling. Of shedding what no longer fits. Of releasing what was never truly yours. From a soul perspective, the 8th House holds the energy of karmic entanglement. The bonds that don’t make sense, but feel ancient. The grief that shows up without a story. The power dynamics you didn’t choose but somehow repeat. You don’t need to understand them. Your soul remembers. And it came here to transmute. This is where the deepest work happens, where silence becomes a language and what’s hidden begins to rise. Shame, obsession, longing, control, all surface here, not to hurt you, but to free you. The 8th House is also where the soul learns to merge without disappearing. Where intimacy becomes ritual. Where sex becomes more than flesh, it becomes a form of soul-speak. A way for two beings to share memory through the body. To move energy. To say, “I see you,” without needing words. To feel truth move between skin and spirit. And the sign on the cusp reveals how you enter this transformation, with intensity, fear, silence, trust, hunger, or resistance. But no one leaves this house the same. Not because something is taken but because something false is burned away. The 8th House is not about death. It’s about what survives it. It’s where your soul walks into the fire, and walks out whole.

✦ Ninth House

The 9th House is where the soul looks up. After everything it’s lost. After everything it’s survived. This is where the soul wants to understand. From a soul perspective, this house holds the pull between escape and awakening. It’s the restless urge to go elsewhere and the deeper invitation to see more clearly right here. This is the soul’s classroom. Not one with walls, but with windows. Here, it learns through instruments: through books and myths, rituals and ruins, distant lands and quiet teachers. Through every story that feels strangely familiar. Every culture that reminds you how similar we all are even when we speak in different tongues. Because in this house, truth isn’t singular. It’s layered. It speaks in symbols. It repeats itself across continents, scriptures, centuries. The soul doesn’t want one belief, it wants a constellation of meaning. A high enough view to see the thread connecting everything it’s been through. The 9th House is the soul’s desire to stretch. To grow through experience, not theory. To learn that every story you encounter, every road you walk, every truth you translate, is just another version of the lesson you came here to live. And the sign on the cusp shows how you seek that wisdom: with fire, with humility, with openness, with doubt. This isn’t about certainty. It’s about faith without finality. Wonder without walls. It’s where your soul remembers: There are many names for the divine but the lesson is always the same.

✦ Tenth House

The 10th House is where the soul emerges from the quiet. From all the internal work, the shedding, the seeking. This is where it asks, “What am I here to give back?” Not for applause. Not for recognition. But because the truth it holds has ripened and it’s time to offer it. From a soul perspective, this house is not just about legacy. It’s about alignment. The moment when your outer life begins to reflect your inner wisdom. When what you’ve carried for lifetimes finally meets the moment it can be received. This is the house of sacred visibility. Where your presence teaches. Where your lived truth becomes a light for others. It’s not about being above them, it’s about speaking from where you’ve been, so those still on the path can hear something familiar and remember their own strength. Imagine this house as a conference room of souls. You are the speaker now. Not because you’re better but because you’ve lived the lesson. And others came here to learn what you now hold effortlessly. You’re not here to perform. You’re here to pass it on. And the sign on the cusp reveals how you lead, with quiet authority, creative truth, steady devotion, visionary insight. The 10th House doesn’t ask you to become something you’re not. It asks you to embody what you already are and trust that when you do, the world will feel it. Because your greatest impact isn’t what you build. It’s what you leave behind in others once you’ve spoken your truth.

✦ Eleventh House

The 11th House is the house of resonance. Not popularity. Not fitting in. But finding the ones who recognize your frequency and say, “I remember you.” This is where the soul steps beyond the self into the field of shared vision, collective growth, and cosmic collaboration. From a soul perspective, the 11th House is where you meet the people you’ve been carrying in your field for lifetimes. The ones you made promises to before you got here. The ones who arrive not to mirror you, but to build with you. It’s the space of soul contracts, both old and new. Where energy introduces itself before names do. Where something inside you softens because, finally, you’re not dreaming the future alone. The 11th House is also the place of the next horizon. Where you stretch toward something bigger than yourself. A vision. A mission. A frequency you can only hold fully when you're surrounded by others who feel it too. It’s not about belonging to the crowd. It’s about finding the current you belong to. And choosing to move with it. The sign on the cusp reveals how your soul connects: with rebellion, with devotion, with innovation, with care. And how you magnetize the ones who are meant to walk beside you, not because you try to be like them, but because you finally dared to be fully yourself. This is the house where the future begins in soulful company.

✦ Twelfth House

The 12th House is not where things end. It’s where they unravel. Where names fall away. Where roles dissolve. Where you remember: You are soul, not skin and bones. This is the soul’s secret room, its sanctuary, its silence, its soft return. From a soul perspective, this house is a spiritual echo chamber where your truth speaks, not in words, but in symbols, dreams, and knowing. A language not made for logic, only for those who remember how to feel without needing proof. Here, solitude becomes communion with the unseen. Stillness becomes prayer. Surrender becomes the softest kind of power. You don’t always know what’s healing here but something is. Quietly. Behind the curtain of the conscious mind. The 12th House holds the energies you carry without knowing. The karmic threads, the ancestral dreams, the emotions that don’t seem to belong to this life, but live inside you all the same. And the sign on the cusp shows how you listen. How you retreat. How you dream, dissolve, and disappear. This is not a house of isolation. It is a place of return. A whispered reminder that before you were anyone, you were everything.

🔍 Decode your chart from the inside out. My first book is a deep dive into how your mind, identity, and behavior are written in the stars.

[omghallucinations]

Bang Chan Chart Analysis: in the weeds edition

chart patterns, degrees, fixed stars, aspects, final dispositors, basically all kind of deeper cuts.

ah, bang chan: a double libra gemini rising whose other planets are acting up so much i barely even touched on venus and mercury somehow

like he's clearly an air sign in every respect--he loooOOOves to talk, he's curious and interested in a lot of different things, he's never met a secret he doesn't want to immediately tell five hundred thousand people on live... but damn some of those other planets (saturn, mars, jupiter, uranus) are loud.

right away i noticed his chart is a bucket chart--every planet is in one half of the circle, except for one planet who becomes the "handle": his aries saturn. saturn is hammering all the other planets on the head so to speak.

saturn: you'll have to come through me motherfuckers

saturn is screaming it's ME i'm the BIG BOSS and as the handle, a lot of things in chan's life are gonna be based on or deal with--for better or worse--saturn stuff (maturation, fear, control, authority, judgment). chan's saturn automatically rockets to the top of his Big Boss list (it will not stay here tho, we've got some other bosses coming).

saturn is in its fall in aries--it doesn't speak the language there. any planet in its fall is usually marked down in influence but i also think it makes the planet more important? chan has to struggle with it. a saturn at home in capricorn (barring other chart factors) is very natural. 8/9 members of girls generation have saturn in capricorn and wow does that make sense. saturn in capricorn prizes Work and is self-conscious/guilty of its feelings (feelings are not productive), it's alllways anxious it hasn't done enough, it is very scared of disappointing people, it's deeply conscious of societal conditioning.

aries is a weird sign for saturn to be in. saturn has a lot of fear, and aries has a lot of fearlessness. aries is a baby and saturn is all about maturation. aries is about acting without thinking, saturn is about making a list and checking it 5 times then deciding not to do it just in case.

and then. this is fun. saturn goes on the big boss list again because it is unaspected--this doesn't mean there aren't aspects, it means there are no major aspects to other planets. when a planet is unaspected, everyone around you can sure as fuck see the hell out of it, but you can't really. it's center stage but not in the play.

bang chan: i am the cutest, fuzziest lil libra guy :) i just care about my work which is normal :) and i express that care in a very reasonable and chill way :) i just want things to be good! :) everyone around him, shaking in fear from his scathing judgment and innate leadership aura: uh-huh

an unaspected planet is usually a generational thing--chan really popped up like hey girl :) i'm here to really personify our family problems of work, judgement, fear and maturation and just like. make 'em huge and unavoidable. haha. :)

chan's gonna show real extremes of behavior around his saturn, which

in aries seems like it's dealing with issues of creation, self-determination, doing it on my own, that kind of stuff (so he'll deny himself or assert himself too much in turns)

in the 11th house backs that up--the 11th is the aquarius house, so saturn is in aries (a "me" sign) in a "we" (in a sort of detached intellectual sense) house

11th/aquarius usually wants to set u free :) but in a kind of back-handed passy aggy harry styles way, like "i love you so i'll set you free, because i am such an open-minded person, unlike other people (who are tethered to humanity which is both embarrassing and scary to me yuck), also setting you free is less terrifying to me than being perceived :) go with god :) bye :)"

it's in the sun decan, so there's a flavor of "look at me look at me" and identity formation (am i what i produce?)

saturn's most exact aspect is sesquisquare mars which acts a lot like a square, my favorite aspect! squares get such a bad rap but i think they're so much better for your life in the long run bc they force you to deal with things. his mars is in sagittarius, so we have a double fire sign situation: explosive, passionate, loves attention and creation. mars, who also gets a bad rap, is our survival planet. it's like, how are you gonna survive this. how are you gonna get what you want and defend yourself and win (if you care about winning) (chan cares about winning).

sagittarius mars is gonna go forward kind of joyfully but also in a "fuck you lmao" way. it's courageous bc it doesn't really think anything could go actually wrong. it's gonna Leave if it's bored (and it's already bored). it's gonna wide-angle zoom on the situation and be like "lol embarrassing... for you" and feel 100% sure it's right All The Time. sesquisquare saturn tries to control this force, adds a bunch of fear and repression and Issues (and often in later life, wisdom), so -> chan's gonna really be afraid of his own anger, of losing control of his temper -> ironically he will be unable to stop bouncing between these two extremes to various degrees. u can't control what u can't accept my dude. -> he's also afraid of not being in power, of not winning -> the me/we extreme will also come into play--especially with his sun and moon in libra (that's their whole Thing) sagittarius says "i'm right for objective, philosophical reasons" and aries says "i'm right because i just am bro i don't have to explain myself to you" mars in the 6th house--that drive to assert himself is gonna really go hard at work and in his daily life. this is a #gymbro placement for sure. his daily routine is Let's Fuckin Go At 150% -> his 11th house (where saturn is), loves the idea of people, community, his ideals, is detached from humanity and it comes into conflict with -> his 6th house, which is very much of the world, very critical, very let's get actual shit done and be of service to people sidebar, mars is exactly conjunct the asteroid quaoar-- creation, making new rules and structures, diverging from how things Have Always Been Done, please hold this thought for his uranus, coming up soon

libra moon at 29 degrees: heard u were desperately trying to maintain equilibrium for emotional security reasons lol

another planet i'm eyeing is his libra moon which is in the anaretic degree, 29. he's very good at this energy but it's gonna test him. with his libra moon he needs contact and dialogue with people to feel secure but it can't get too deep because that's gonna freak him out. he is super comfortable being vulnerable and emotional on the internet because the internet is not real. i mean it's real, but it doesn't feel real. it's the equivalent of over-intellecualising your feelings so you don't actually feel anything (which an air moon always enjoys, as a hobby). just like it's way easier and less scary to be in love with an idea of a person, rather than the actual person! the actual person can really fuck up ur moodboard!

chan needs things to be pretty, equal, even-keeled. libra is such a funny sign because often it gets flattened to this like "cutey pie flirt" stereotype which i would say is almost exclusively libra venus. libra is a cardinal sign--an acting, initiating sign--and can be a lot more controlling than it likes to pretend imo. it's also in his sixth house--he's gonna feel safe when he can be of service to others, when he can get things done, when he can edit shit, basically.

he's also a new moon baby, which gives a moon a fun, aries-y, baby-tries-(food)-for-the-first-time vibe. removes a lot of those libra inhibitions and adds a lot of need to feel special.

chan is so good at making sure he feels safe by trying to keep everything cute and not too deep and staying on the surface or removed from the situation through constant activity and like, pruning everything, trying to perfect everything (therefore not having to actually deal with anything). howmstever, this system is gonna repeatedly implode throughout his life. soz bud. his emotional foundation's gonna get pummeled on and off which sucks because he has an almost manic need

for emotional safety through strategic diplomacy and avoiding confrontation

for emotional safety through constant work and "perfecting" everything

for people to like him everyone needs to like him or he will die

(not the real him, that makes him nervous, the projection of him that he painstakingly curates, that is safer)

it's not especially fun to deal with.

bright side, wisdom in later life!

mercury, ruler of chan's ascendant: pretty much exactly what you'd expect?

as a gemini rising, chan's ruler is his mercury in libra in the 5th but ironically i don't feel like she's as major of a player as some of these other planets. you can see the communication and curiosity focus of his life, and in the 5th house of self-expression, creation. mercury is sextile mars and pluto, a talent for making his voice heard and powerful, trine uranus in the 9th he's confident about and believes in his unique voice/perspective.

like mercury is there and she's important, but she's not like. causing big waves? it's like his life direction, again, important, but i'm more intrigued by...

mars conjunct pluto opposite his ascendant: oh boy!

this is his one big opposition and it's on the gemini-sagittarius axis (my fave, she's just fun and curious, she's not super dramatic or that difficult although she doesn't exactly make it easy to make... decisions... or get anything done?). however if we were worried about getting shit done, mars and pluto are here to scream. mars conjunct pluto is exactly as dramatic as sagittarius-gemini is not.

this is an exact conjunction and it's wild. anything pluto touches blows up in a way. it makes it intense and secretive and adds the planet to its portfolio of unconscious past life soul security demands.

lmao i just realized that red lights is fully this conjunction lmao oh no. i don't know if i can talk about this conjunction normally. it's very... ... nsfw.

sometimes pluto conjunct mars forces mars into the background and makes the person afraid to assert themselves, but i don't think that's exactly the vibe here, although it's similar. it looks to me like chan has a lot of rage and anger in him that, with his libra placements, he probably has a very difficult time acknowledging or facing. he'll easily internalize it and turn it inward and be a real asshole to himself, and also his temper will flare up randomly and he'll go for the kill shot when he meant to communicate like a normal person. he has a lot of strong desires, he also wants power, but he's gonna hide it and run from the reality there. he does have almost inhuman will, courage and drive tho, he can truly endure anything.

(idk i think he should be a little worried about his physical body, so many of his coping mechanisms depend on exercise/endurance and with pluto--transformation, security--in the sixth house i worry his health might force transformation? ur body can't carry all of ur unspoken shit my bud?)

gemini rising wants to seem very fun, very friendly, very cute, but with mars and pluto on his descendant chan is almost hiding or ignoring a huge part of himself--all those darker impulses which aren't going anywhere. my guy loves a taboo and (redacted redacted redacted redacted REDACTEDDDD). whatever, it's good for creativity and in sagittarius he has a good sense of humor about it.

jupiter: uno reverso???

damn chan really got #blessed here, a lot of that chart was really screaming Issues, Internalized Rage, Fear, Depression, etc, but jupiter really bounced up to be like "never mind haha. i mean yeah, true, but also whatever"

first of all jupiter is in its home house, the 9th--chan's on a Journey, he's eat pray loving, he's Listening and Learning--and it's in aquarius, so that belief system and personal philosophy is gonna be very open-minded, very science fiction, very predicting trends, very ahead of society.

jupiter conjunct his MC: this is what pulls jupiter up to the big boss list. anything conjunct your MC is at the top of your chart--people see it. people notice it about you. and goddamn are people just gonna give him stuff. and they always have. no wonder jyp was like This Is My Special Boy, like that is jupiter conjunct MC to a t.

(the public perception of chan is also gonna be a lot... cuter and more exuberant and fun than the actual man. not that he's not those things. just that the jupiter of his personality is really what people are noticing about him from the outside: his personal vision, his expansive side, all that. they are not looking at that prominent saturn as much, even if saturn is a bigger player)

jupiter trine the sun: another one where people are just gonna like you. for one thing they'll notice chan's good intentions and generosity--altho they will also notice his tendency to moralise and be a liiiiittle condescending--but his tendency towards bouncy optimism (at least outwardly) makes people want to follow him aquarius jupiter trine libra sun: two "we" signs in a big way, except aquarius is "we" like "humanity" and libra is "we" like "you and me", but they unite in a tendency to conflate the personal identity with the group identity--with jupiter and the sun at play it's like chan is able to bring people on board with his identity and personal vision (but he often presents an idealised version of himself who does not have needs, somehow) 9th house trine 5th house: basically a repeat of jupiter-sun, since the 5th house is the leo house--chan has a talent for using his personal philosophy/vision in creative works

our final big boss of the night, perhaps the ultimate big boss: aquarius uranus

chan's aquarius uranus is really talking to everybody. it has by far the most aspects of any planet. uranus has its hand in his ascendant and every planet except jupiter and neptune. with modern rulers aquarius is at home in uranus, and i'm coming around a little bit on modern rulership even if i think it tends to be less prominent than traditional. still:

aquarius uranus: original thought, technological progress, your box is dumb i'm not going in there uranus in the 9th house: he's gonna have an offbeat belief system--no chance he buys into korea's societal norms, or anyone's societal norms for that matter. he's not a conformist. trine his gemini ascendant: whooooo boy he is really not a conformist. when he's not in a Mood he's not judgmental at all, even when he's in a mood he has a real benevolent Ah, Humanity Should All Be Free to Pursue Happiness vibe. gemini couldn't give a shit about morals, and uranus and aquarius think morals are bourgeois. he has a talent for his own difference--some uranus people (like most of ateez, my weirdo darlings) have chips on their shoulders about being different, but chan with his easy trine is just happy to be himself. i mean a trine uranus isn't gonna change the world (unlike harder aspects like squares, who would be more driven to do so) but he is gonna set a good example just through his identity.

this is a fun side of chan! i like this!

square moon: mmmm ok about that chip on his shoulder. although it's not really about being different--it's more about he both wants to be stable and emotionally secure and also free and independent and he's soooooooo fucking stubborn (but he doesn't see it that way because he's Right, not stubborn). he's prone to feeling really itchy and stuck and then making big changes out of nowhere. also he's very intuitive but overly sensitive and when he's hurt he's gonna shut down completely and not tell the person what they did wrong. didn't he give someone the silent treatment? jisung? yeah that's uranus square moon energy. he has a lot of fear around his emotions and only lets himself feel in short sharp bursts. he feels hurt and he cuts out the person immediately without warning to protect himself--even if it's completely illogical he will dupe himself into believing it is very logical and correct, actually libra moon square aquarius uranus: yeah this looks like a "keep the peace even if it is unhealthy" v. "radical change out of nowhere the tower ass" argument, he'll bounce between the two extremes again. heyyy gemini rising i didn't even see u there!!

man. really haven't gotten into everything including his sun in libra (in its fall), his nodes (classic idol 5th-11th axis, soooo many of them have this), etc, but i've been working on this for so long!! aughhH!!

ok drumroll please, let's gather up his chart big players!! normally i would rank these, but i keep changing my mind.

aquarius uranus

aquarius jupiter

sagittarius mars-pluto conjunction

aries saturn

libra mercury (2nd to lastish)

libra moon (definitely last on this list)

tentatively i'm gonna put uranus-jupiter tied at 1, then mars-pluto then saturn then mercury. ugh i don't know though. they're all big players! chan in general has one of those spread-out charts--when you look at the ruler of each planet, he has what's called a "committee" tree

where there isn't one or two final bosses, and the planets are all connected in one tree rather than being separate. you can see how chan's 3 top planets are sag mars, aquarius jupiter and aries saturn--they all work together and are super interconnected. he's not as single-minded as someone with a singular dispositor (ateez hongjoong has a singular final dispositor tree with his pisces jupiter) but also not as split or conflicted as someone who has split trees (ateez seonghwa has a planet in rulership tree with separate parts).

anyway this has been really interesting! for someone with what seems at first glance to be a very unified chart (air moon, air sun, air rising) he has some interesting conflicting energies--altho i'm sure he sees himself as just an air person. i'm sure he is lowkey aware of that mars and pluto conjunction but i'd bet he really pretends he does not see it (except for in REDACTED REDACTED EXTREMELY REDACTED situations), and he truly cannot see his saturn at all (altho everyone else can!).

[dawnfelagund]

Back in 2019, I wrote a blog post called The Inequality Prototype. As part of it, I counted a bunch of stuff related to the Valar and looked at how those metrics differed based on gender. At the time, I thought it would be interesting to extend this work over the entire Silmarillion, namely looking at who speaks in the text and who doesn't. For Tolkien Meta Week, I began this work and am collecting my analyses related to it here. It is very much still a work in progress and will likely take me years to complete, but I'm going to post interesting data as I discover it.

This project, like all of my data projects, is available to use under a CC license for others who want to play with the data: View the data | Copy the data | Methodology, progress, etc.

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Dialogue does not occur evenly across The Silmarillion. While a little over 5% of the words in The Silmarillion as a whole are used in dialogue, this is very unevenly distributed across the chapters, with some chapters about half dialogue and six chapters containing no dialogue at all.

There is a lot more work to be done to tease out trends and patterns that might have some meaning, but just glancing at the graph above, some of those patterns do begin to emerge. First, dialogue increases as The Silmarillion progresses. In the second half of the book (calculated by chapter, not page or word count), only two chapters have no dialogue and only four chapters (inclusive of those two without dialogue) fall below the median of 5.3% dialogue. Put another way:

In the first half of chapters, 71% of chapters are below the median.

In the second half of chapters, 29% of chapters are below the median.

Why is this? My tentative theory is that we see the book moving from the realm of the mythic—from events that are passed down through the oral tradition and ancient written traditions—and into the historical, where the narrator has a greater array of sources, including eyewitness testimony, and begins to write with greater immediacy rather than the arm's-length style of myth and ancient history.

What I am curious about: As I dig deeper into these data, will I see this theory bear out in which episodes or characters/groups are granted actual dialogue? In other words, will characters and peoples lost to the mists of time speak less, as I would expect? Or will the type of dialogue (e.g., a formal speech that may have been preserved vs. an extempore conversation that would not) vary based on narrative distance? I have documented in the past that the narrator of The Silmarillion uses the "it is said/told/sung" construction more with characters who are less accessible, so there is evidence that Tolkien manipulated writing style based on what his narrators' access to various sources. Does he use dialogue similarly to communicate that "mythic distance"?

There are also chapters that are more expository in purpose (Valaquenta, "Of Beleriand and Its Realms") that do not contain dialogue. Without digging deeper into the chapters themselves, most of those without dialogue that aren't similarly expository are chapters where the material would be less accessible to Pengolodh as a narrator. Whether this bears added scrutiny remains to be seen!

Finally, in discussing these data on the SWG's Discord, polutropos noticed something interesting, which is that the chapter with the most dialogue���"Of Aulë and Yavanna," where almost 57% of the words of the chapter are given over to dialogue—was not in fact written by Tolkien. As document by Douglas Charles Kane in his book Arda Reconstructed, "This chapter is completely manufactured by Christopher, though using his father's own writings" (page 54). Where Kane usually includes a chart pointing to the source for each bit of The Silmarillion, his chapter on "Of Aulë and Yavanna" contains no such chart because, while he is able to document where ideas came from, Christopher actually wrote the chapter.

Interestingly, "Of the Noldor in Beleriand" is the chapter with the second most dialogue and, according to Kane, "The changes made in this chapter are among the smallest anywhere in the published text" (page 154). So Tolkien does sometimes write dialogue-heavy chapters—though without data to back me up (yet! it's coming!), most of that dialogue appears to come in the form of lengthier speeches, not necessarily the debate/conversation format of Of Aulë and Yavanna."

The biggest impact of the dialogue-heavy "Of Aulë and Yavanna," I suspect, will emerge as I dig more into the data on gender and who speak in The Silmarillion. Yavanna is one of the women who speaks the most in The Silmarillion, but almost all of her dialogue occurs in this chapter. If this chapter is constructed by Christopher, how does that impact the amount of speech women are permitted by Tolkien? Polutropos' observation spurred me to plan to document the source of the various dialogue sections: Are they original to Tolkien's writings or added? Kane, interestingly, is critical of Christopher Tolkien in Arda Reconstructed for what he perceives as Christopher removing women characters from the text. In this instance, we see a significant example of the opposite: a woman's role is not only expanded, but she is given an opportunity to speak.