#widget the robot

[chao-club]

annual fankid purge redraw !!

[koumori-1999]

christmas shopping

[gizmo-best-robot]

Man. If there was a reason as to why i made a tumblr acc in the first place was mostly to share my art, have fun and overall being silly. While getting myself a break from instagram and their toxicity. (Believe me when i say there is a lot of toxic people harassing/being disgusting towards artists or other people no matter how big or small they are, or just worse.)

But now this? Tumblr allowing AI to STEAL from other artists?? Like... c'mon man... you can't do this...

Oh boy, i really do LOVE life and sure i won't jump off from a building (I'm lying.)

I guess my only choice is to just quit drawing and do nothing? Probably.

Bonus silly thing i did lololol:

(Had to use noise filter bc f e a r )

[bloomyex-art]

My lil gang's doing a secret santa with OC art, so ofc I'm putting my lil goobers up.

Redrew Widget and Gizmo for the occasion! You can tell which one I like the most LMAOOO

Also, yeah. I realize I probably haven't shown y'all this Widget guy before. He's basically Gizmo's rival/frenemy??? and a silly guy (Yes, he's killed people. And no, he doesn't feel guilty about it. Might change with character development though.)

[the-thena]

(Sender's note: This ask is specifically for Widget)

You are such a silly goober and I'm all for it

Thank you! I’m a silly goober! I’m a very clever robot! I’m a snitching little—

Oookay, Widget. That’s enough for now.

[bayonetta-origins]

having aa5 bayo origins thoughts( ´-｀) ill ramble in the tags

[doctorsiren]

Perhaps a Prosecutor! Phoenix, Prosecutor! Apollo, and Prosecutor! Athena (If you have a design for her)?

But if that's too much for you, perhaps just Prosecutor! Apollo?

Remember! Take breaks, drink water, and eat and sleep well!

I had such a fun time coming up with Prosecutor Athena. Her whole thing is that The Incident that occurred when she was a kid also included an explosion, which hurt her pretty badly, but Aura saved her life by turning her into a cyborg. She becomes a prosecutor so she can find the real perpetrator behind the crime, while Blackquill is a defense attorney on death row rather than a prosecutor (he’s basically just the same tho lmao)

I based her off of GLaDOS. Her face is split the way the Mood Matrix moon is split and her design incorporates portal influence as well as Aura (and her ponytail is in the shape of the ponytail for the “My Life as a Teenage Robot” Metis drawn a while back). Widget’s been turned into a core :3

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Ruby, 7 Years old: Investigator Widget is my favorite Show! There's no way it will affect my romantic preferences later in life!

~Ten Years later~

Penny: I'm a Robot ...

Ruby: ... *Blushing* Ah.

[admiral-mason]

Ultra-Impact Part 4

Idea based on @valeriele3's Live Stream post

0-3 0-4 << YOU ARE HERE 0-5

PRELUDE /// FOURTH CLAIR DE ÉTOILES

TWO SUPREME MACHINES INFORM YOU OF THE CURRENT SITUATION.

You turned your body to face the red V-model machine, looking as if they had never fought V1 in the first place. Holding out its Knuckleblaster, V2 gestured to you for a handshake and you accepted it, feeling its three slightly sharp fingers in the process.

"You're here too?" You asked the robot as you finished up your handshake. "Indeed so. And it appears that I have the glory of the first of being able to talk with the godfather of this world."

V2's voice possessed a deep tone stronger than Capitano's voice you heard in the 5.1 Update's cutscenes on YouTube. They- or rather he- sounded cold and calculating, almost akin to a mafia boss or skilled hitman.

(A/N: V2's voice, in this case, sounds like the security units from The Callisto Protocol; the voice in question is Type 1 in the video.)

V1 then walked over to you two and the blue war robot pointed a middle finger at the red peacekeeping robot with its right arm while having its left arm on its hips.

"Hey, it's not my problem that the terminal procured my voice box faster than yours." V2 then looked towards the terminal before walking up to it. You followed closely out of curiosity. "Speaking of that, are you done procuring V1's voice box?"

The terminal's screen displayed a singular word: "YES." Meanwhile, you could see your Twitch chat fill up with messages on V2.

quantoom: Bro V1 and now V2??

johnifer donated $20.00 "OH MY GOD IT'S V2 AWOOGAH ARF ARFARFARF BARKBARKBARKBARKRBARKABRKABRAKR"

Mike: wtf

feetusdeletussthenyeetus donated $33.00 "Calm down bitch."

johnifer donated $69.00 "nuh uh"

feetusdeletussthenyeetus donated $69.00 "yuh huh"

NaviaLover291: Holy shot!

benjaminfan: do we just let them fight or

3929: Just lettem fight lmfao

As the two donators kept fighting with their wallets, V2's right arm suddenly had an object materialize in his left hand as his arm moved back into its original position. The object in question had a box-like shape with a speaker and some widgets and tidbits on its sides- it's likely V1's voice box, considering the "01" on the top of it.

You were kinda spooked out by this but didn't bother questioning it.

(A/N: this refers to how when you buy a weapon in Ultrakill, it kinda just materializes in your hand with no explanation; obviously this is simply for gameplay but my story does utilize some gameplay tidbits lmfao)

V2 then walked over to V1, whose animated movements made it feel giddy. The red machine then proceeded to place (it looked like a slap though with how the way the V-models place items) the voice box on V1's torso. The box disappeared with no trace of it but as usual, you didn't question it.

"Ah. Aaaah."

Now this had you raising an eyebrow because V1 picked a female's voice instead of the Microsoft SAM voice you've heard in all the videos.

(A/N: I imagine V1's voice sounds like this.)

(A/N: Do not question why the fuck I chose that in particular or I will eat all of your cookies)

"Oh, uh, hello, godfather! I can verbally communicate with you now!" V1 said, striding it- herself over to you. "And before you ask 'I thought your voice would be Microsoft SAM,' I'm a robot with no voice by default and as such there is nothing wrong with me being a girly girl~!"

You just stared at her with a blank expression. "O...kaaay, V1. It's just different, that's all."

"Any problems with that?"

"Nope."

"Alright cool!"

V2 then looked at the both of you. "Alright. Since our dear godfather just recently arrived, let me catch you up." He then looked at the terminal and pointed to it. "See that terminal over there? It tried warning you on that neck section of that 1000-THR Earthmover in Hell's Violence layer. To not touch the lands ruled by the seven gods... or what you know as Teyvat."

V2 then looked down. "As much as I would blame your curiosity, you would only have delayed the inevitable. I won't sugarcoat it: Hell is controlling Teyvat and its people in an attempt to kill you."

Your expression grew mortified, bewildered, and lost simultaneously. "Whoa whoa wait what?? Hell itself took over fucking Genshin??"

He looked back up at you, radiating serious yet somber energy despite his camera head only granting so much expression. "Unfortunately so. When you made your way to Teyvat, you inadvertently opened a backdoor for Hell to enter. It took over under the guise of those 'SAGAU Impostor AUs' on that Tumblr section or something."

"...Is that why all those Knights of Favonius have red eyes?" V2 nodded. "They're being utilized as puppets; just like the Mannequins. With little to no control, they're forced to simply attack anything they see."

Hearing all this left you with a question: "But why me? I mean, not to be self-degrading, but I'm just a dumbass who plays games on a camera for a buncha people!"

The machine's next words somehow ended up just as, if not more mortifying than his last ones. "True. But that's not Hell's plan. See, once you die, you'll be dead in the real world. And the organism of suffering will utilize your computer to attempt to manifest itself into the real world."

"But that's not gonna happen!" V1 interjected, her voice still chippy as her previous sentence. "You got not one, but two supreme machines perfectly capable of taking on the entirety of Hell here to help you out of this shitfest. I still have my arsenal, and I helped V2 gain equivalent weapons thanks to that terminal that tried to warn you. And that brings us to your arsenal!"

She then dragged you to the terminal before selecting a gun icon in the top left corner, which pulled up a tab titled "WEAPONS." It was like Ultrakill's weapon screen, currently only with the revolvers. Except, you noticed that the revolvers were different from the base game.

Your default revolver- or better said revolvers- were the Dual Wield revolvers. Their icon was two blue revolvers, one placed upon the other. They costed zero points to buy, so you decided to click on them.

(A/N: Look here and set the video to 0:43 seconds and then peek at the bottom left corner)

Suddenly, your arms briefly clipped downwards before two revolvers appeared in your hands and you cautiously looked at them. They both resembled the Piercer Revolver, but this time, they had what looked to be a "12" in the display section where the battery should be.

A tutorial box then popped up in your vision.

DUAL REVOLVERS: CHOOSE TO ATTACK A SINGULAR TARGET OR TWO TARGETS SIMULTANEOUSLY. LIMITED AMMO; SHOOT WISELY.

This meant that the display was likely for ammo.

"Ooh! You got double the firepower!" V1 excitedly said, already peeking at your revolvers. "Now can I have my Sharpshooter revolver back now?" You remembered that you still had it in your pocket and you nodded. V1 took her revolver from your pocket before saying a quick "thank you~!"

V2 looked at your new weapons and nodded. "You do indeed, godfather. Perhaps we should teach you some-" Suddenly, the sky flashed a bloody red and he stopped speaking.

"Shit... it seems that Hell finally caught up to us." He then walked up to the terminal and pushed a hidden button on its left side; this output a device akin to a phone and shut the terminal down. V2 grabbed it and hastily put it in your pocket.

"I'll explain later, godfather! Follow us!" You followed the two machines out of the forest, but once you did so...

...the three of you were met with a large force of fleshy figures in the distance. "It's sending husks after us..." V1 remarked. "Well, godfather, I hope you're ready for a true trial by fire, because I SURE AM CRAVING SOME BLOOD RIGHT NOW!"

You simply stared at the army of sinners as you held up your revolvers, still a little panicked. However, upon seeing V1 and V2 prepare for combat, you decided that at that moment, if Hell wanted to kill you, it would not do so without a fight.

Taglist: @valeriele3, @bunniotomia, @feetusdeletussthenyeetus, @quantoom

[lazyollie]

Ninjago headcanons- Wlw edition

Includes: Vania, Nya, Pixal, Harumi, Skylor

Warning: bad grammar, typos, huge simping

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Vania

☆° Her love language is definitely quality time. She loves spending time with you.

☆° She's right next to you when you do your makeup, read or just scrolling through your phone. She just enjoys being with you.

☆° She likes to bring you to see the most beautiful places in Shintaro regularly.

☆° You can talk with her about anything. She's really understanding. Mostly she's the one who talks but she also likes to listen to your voice.

☆° At night she cuddles to you in bed, her head is on your chest listening to your heartbeat.

☆° When she kisses you her hands holds yours as she caresses your fingers.

☆° She can easily get flustered. You just have to lean close to her face and she's all red.

☆° She's really supportive. You could do anything and she'll scream your name happily chearing your achivment.

☆° You can count on her anytime. She's really good in solving problems. When you feel sad she places kisses all over your face while telling you that you did everything good and she's proud of you.

☆° She doesn't let anyone disrespect you around her and in her kingdom. If someone does it she warns the person that they are talk to/about Shintaro's Queen's girlfriend.

Nya

☆° Her love language is acts of service and physical touch for sure.

☆° She loves to do things for you. You could ask her to do anything and she's already on it, but she also loves to give hugs and be cuddly with you.

☆° If anyone ever hurts you the person should start pray for himself, because she won't give mercy. Whoever hurts you is dead for her.

☆° She's a real gentle(wo)man? (not sure about this form of the word). I imagine her being all romantic with you, roses, opening doors for you.

☆° Of course, she only does it if you comfortable with it. Even if you find it uncomfortable she will find another way to treat you like a princess.

☆° She will definitely teach you some self-defense (if you're not a ninja) so you can protect yourself when she's not around or on mission.

☆° She's definitely the dominant partner of the relationship, but she also likes to be submissive with you. Not that much, but sometimes. (I'm not talking about sex just regular life😭)

☆° She likes to hug you from behind, snaking her hands around your waist and burring her head into your neck. It's like charging for her.

☆° Sometimes she likes to tease you or make you flustrated like training around you. She likes to see your reddened cheeks and how you start widgeting with your fingers nervously.

☆° She's a strong girl and she likes to use his strenght so she lifts/carries you regularly.

Pixal

☆° Her love language are words of affirmation and quality time.

☆° She tells you everyday how pretty you are, how much she loves you and how important are you for her.

☆° But she also likes spending time with you. She likes when she's working on something and you're there with her, keeping her company.

☆° Maybe you don't understand anything she says about robotics and mechanics, but she likes to explain things about it.

☆° You listen to her all the time, because you're a good girlfriend.

☆°She always has your back. If you're a ninja she always has an eye over you during fights and missions. She likes to make sure you're alright.

☆° She likes to stand up for you if you can't. She defends you with her life. She respects everyone and who respect her has to respect you.

☆° If you're angry at someone she's the one who stops you so you won't end up in a fight.

☆° Somehow she's emotion mature so she knows how to help you when you're upset, angry or depressed.

☆° She often kisses your cheeks. It's her favorite place to kiss you.

Harumi

(I think my love for her is very obvios).

☆° Her love language is acts of service and gift giving.

☆° Also she sometimes craves physical because of her childhood traumas. Sadly, she doesn't know how to ask for it, so you have to recognise it.

☆° She doesn't know how to express her love towards you. So sometimes she's doing small things for you without telling you.

☆° Also if you ask her to do something for you she acts like It's a big thing and says she won't do that, but she's already on it.

☆° It makes you laugh sometimes, because you know she likes to do these for you, but she doesn't like act like it.

☆° Time to time she leaves gifts for you around the house so you will find them. It's a doodle or a small figure or anything what reminds her of you.

☆° Later in the relationship when she got comfortable she's doing these things like she really wants you to know she loves you. So she's giving the gifts for you personally.

☆° If you have troubles with sleeping she offers you that she sings something for you. Mostly she sings the spider song but if you know anything else she would sing that too.

☆° If anyone ever hurt you and she finds out or you told her you have to hold her back from beating the person up. She sometimes does take revenge without you knowing.

☆° If you mention a special interest the next day you will find something related on your nighstand with a loving doodle with you kissing or hugging.

Skylor

☆° Her love language is physical touch and words of affirmation.

☆° Her physical touch is quite small in the beginning in the relationship. Just a touch on the shoulder and a hand on your back.

☆° But when she got comfortable she started hugging you and cuddle with you everynight (just if you're up for it:3)

☆° Just like Pixal she likes to tell you everyday that you're pretty and she loves you so much.

☆° She's also really honest so when you ask her opinion about something she tells you honestly what you should do or what she thinks would be good.

☆° She has a habit to hug you from behind when you cook. She places her head on your neck and watches what are you doing.

☆° She sometimes start to kiss your neck

☆° There are times when she ?copies? your power if you have and have fun together playing with it.

☆° You can count on her anytime. She's really good with dealing problems and she loves to help you:3.

☆° Her favorite spot to kiss you is your lips. Her kisses feels like heaven, because her lips are so soft.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

You might ask where are the other female characters. Well there are female characters who I don't like and my opinion would make my headcanons irrelevant (for example: Akita).

In addition, I haven't watched Dragon Rising yet. I'm not really sure I will yet. So yeah, that's for today.

Love y'all<3

[topazadine]

Writing Advice: Spicy Mundanity

In writing, it is essential to provide just enough information to build a picture in a reader's mind, but not to bore them. Let's look at one specific area where some writers fall short: providing too much mechanical description.

Here, we'll look at three different examples of how you can set the same scene, then dissect why the fixed passages are better.

Adam the First silenced his alarm clock, got up out of bed, and walked to the door. He opened the door and walked down the hallway to the bathroom. He undressed and then reached out to turn the handle of the shower. The shower started, and he pulled the curtain aside. Then he realized he needed to pee, so he lifted the toilet seat and urinated. Then he got in the shower. Then he picked up a bar of soap.

Unless you are writing this for extraterrestrials, most people are going to know what it's like to get out of bed and go to the bathroom to turn on the shower, then realize your bladder is bursting and have to pee first.

This sounds so mechanical, almost robotic; it tells us nothing about how these actions made him feel.

Was he late? Was this done in a rush? Is this his day off so he's going slow, really luxuriating in the feeling?

So, let's fix this in two different ways and try them on for size.

Adam the Second rolled out of bed with a resounding smack as his alarm truncated his dream about his ex. Groaning, he swiped the screaming clock off the nightstand, shattering the screen into plasticine trash. Whatever. A problem for later. Rubbing his eyes, he stumbled into the bathroom and yanked the shower on, then felt the familiar tingle in his bladder. First things first, he supposed. The shower was fast and unsatisfying, barely enough time to lather his hair. If he was late for his job at Widget Technologies one more time, he'd be toast. And homeless too.

This version tells us a lot more about Adam: he's not a morning person, he's got a bit of an attitude, and he's chronically late for work, to the point where he might lose his job. Oh, and he's still got the hots for his ex. We didn't need to linger on every single part of his morning routine; we swapped out some more interesting actions for the pedestrian "opening the door and turning on the shower" etc.

Now let's try something different that takes Adam in a whole other direction entirely.

Adam the Third most felt his age in the morning. The crawl to the alarm clock felt agonizing; his rusty joints creaked while he reached for the tiny button at the center that would silence the buzzing bells. It'd be easier to relocate the alarm clock to his side of the bed, but that seemed too final. Besides, this routine reminded him, morning after morning, that his wife wasn't here. Just in case he forgot. Putting his medication in the bathroom had also been a trick recommended by his therapist: forcing him to attend to his hygiene rather than lying in bed all day. He groaned as he massaged his back and began the slow journey toward his diuretics, then the interminable wait until his bladder remembered its purpose. Hopefully his daughter had brought more shampoo as she promised to, though he had his doubts.

Here we have an entirely different Adam: a man missing his wife, suffering from multiple ailments (including a bit of depression). It appears he might be dealing with early-onset dementia as well. We can also assume that he lives alone but relies on his daughter to bring him things. It seems she might be a bit flakey.

Even the old-school alarm clock tells us that we are not dealing with a youthful character, but someone stuck in an old time, trying to reorient his routine to a new reality.

All these passages deal with the exact same actions: getting out of bed, going to the bathroom, and taking a shower. However, the last two provide us with far more character details while removing extraneous actions that the reader can assume.

So, let's look at some golden rules of how to turn boring, mechanical passages into something more vibrant and character-driven.

Assume your reader is intelligent

You might be wondering what this has to do with anything, but let me explain.

Writers often feel that they need to spell everything out for their reader because everyone but them is a total moron and can't determine the sequence of everyday actions.

Your readers are not dumb. It is not just boring to write like Adam the First - it's also insulting.

Please give your readers credit. Expect them to understand what you are trying to say when you discuss mundane activities.

When you write with the assumption that your readers are intelligent people, you are more willing to gloss over stupid details they don't need, and you can get to the meat of the action faster.

Remove implied action

If someone was sitting on the bed and then they are walking toward the dresser, we can assume that they got up. We only need to say they got up if there is a particular way they did so which could be assumed as important.

Adam 2 literally rolled out of bed onto the floor and then "stumbled" toward the bathroom. We can imagine a very inelegant rising but don't actually have to show that.

Adam 3 massaged his back and then "began the slow journey." We can assume that he got up very carefully, maybe groaning a bit as he did so, but we don't need to explain that in excruciating detail; it's implied.

We can also assume the peeing part in both passages. Adam 2 thought "first things first" about his bladder, and then was in the shower. We get the point.

Adam 3 was talking about how he's going to be straining on the toilet for a while until his diuretics kick in, and then about how he hopes his daughter brought shampoo, so we can tell that he's going to pee and then shower.

Use active verbs

Yes, sometimes someone just opens a door and there's nothing special about it. Why are you showing that to us? We don't get much from it.

Just have them reach the door and then pass through it without explaining. No one will assume they are teleporting.

Unless you're writing something that does have teleportation, but then I'd imagine you would take more time to explain why they'd teleport through a door, such as it being locked with a key they don't have.

Specific verbs are far more interesting - and more insightful - than simple, mechanical ones. Consider all the possible ways to open a door here:

Griselda flung the door open, screaming like a wildcat. "Give me my goddamn money!"

Jiggling the handle, Imogene heard dead silence on the other side. With shaking fingers, she inched the door open, closing her eyes for fear of what she would see.

A sprinting Paul slammed into the door, groaned, then fumbled for the handle before tripping inside.

Vera clutched the polished pewter handle, hands slick with nervous sweat, and twisted it in a hard but controlled motion. She threw her shoulders back to appear more confident and slid past the doorplate, which probably cost more than her whole house.

In the last two examples, there's something important about the way they held the door handle, so we show that. In the first two examples, we don't really need to see how they gripped the handle, so we don't show it.

Add interiority

The passages about Adam 2 and Adam 3 are more interesting because we are getting character development through these passages. Even though each one is a very boring scene of someone going about their morning routine, they feel like different people, because they are.

Adam 1 could be literally anyone on the planet named Adam, but Adam 2 and Adam 3 are clearly a specific person because they feel differently about the exact same routine, and they do it a little differently too.

Adam 2 comes out of the gate snarling; he's in a bad mood and worrying about his job. Adam 3 is grief-stricken; every single thing reminds him of his dead wife, even the alarm clock.

I write primarily in third person limited POV, which gives a lot of room for character development, but you can do these same things in first person and third person omniscient if you so choose.

To develop interiority, think about how your character feels and their overall life circumstances. Someone about to get married to the love of their life will spring out of bed, excitedly ticking through all the things they need to do before their wedding; we don't even need to show the actions because they're telling us what they will do.

Someone about to get married to a suitor they hate is going to slump out of bed, dreading every movement and dragging it out as long as possible. We will hear the resentment as their alarm clock goes off and their grumbled complaints about the shower being cold. This tells us a lot about their mood and their expectations for their day.

If you enjoyed this article, maybe you'll consider purchasing my own lovely book, 9 Years Yearning! This 33k novella examines the lives of two young men studying the art of war - but they find themselves studying something else entirely, too.

Namely, each other. Ooh la la!

If you do purchase my book, please be sure to leave a review!

Reviews are critical for success on Amazon so I can sell more books! With your help, I'll be able to afford Ear Reversal Surgery for my dog, who is currently suffering from a tragic case of Inside Out Ears.

Look at him! He can hear better that way, but is it ethical?

[faggy-thing]

Requesting 2 ID Packs

1. Void, Nothingness, Space

2. Computer, Robot, Outdated Technology

You can combine them if that’s easier

Mainly looking for titles and nicknames

Please + Thank You!

here you go, I hope you enjoy! oooh, ty and Something feel really connected to this request, so they’ll pop in and help :) (hell yeah, I love the robot and vintage stuff! legit me -📺📚)

Names/nicknames:

Gadget

Vint

Click/clack

Bolts

Widget

Noir

Galaxy

Abyss

Ebony

Orpheus

Usernames/titles:

Broken_Keyboard

BeepBoop…Loading

Wires4Veins

Endless-Galaxy

FloatingInTheVoid

The Vintage Robot

The Antique Cybertron

The Vast Void

The Expansive Nebula

The Creeping Darkness

Pronouns:

Un/un/uns/uns/unself

Space/space/spaces/spaces/spaceself

Null/null/nulls/nulls/nullself

Beep/boop/beeps/beeps/boopself

Code/code/codes/codes/codeself

Tech/tech/techs/techs/techself

[redbo-and-simbo]

Hey Red, have you considered making other kinds of robots? Like a robot cat to keep Widget company?

...I think Widget has plenty of company.

[yourlocalseanameduser]

What would you think about having Christina (trans Chris) go by Tina as a reference to Miss Tina from GizmoGO!?

Now that you mention it I actually wanted Chris to be called Tina too but I thought that she would be too attached to the name to ultimately change it so she just changed it into Christina

However

I do have a HC that gizmogo is set in the future-ish of the reimagined timeline, and I have another headcanon that widget was made by Chris for a school project

Anyways this might be a little OOC but after making widget Chris just.. Forgot about her 😭, she doesn't dislike widget per say, but she just doesn't have much time hanging out with the robots as much as she used to now that she's in high school

It's still a very cute HC tho, I can totally see widget calling Chris 'Tina' after miss Tina arrived

[physalian]

The 150 Widget Maker (Fuck Corporate America)

I need to vent for a second, m’kay?

Let’s say my job is that I have 8 hours, no lunch, to make 150 widgets. And I’m really, really good at making widgets. I have the system down pat and I’ve personalized my method to make it as efficient as possible for me to make 150 as quickly and accurately as possible.

My job is not “make as many widgets as possible in 8 hours”. It is “you have 8 hours every day to make at least 150 widgets”.

I do not get extra pay for going above 150. My “merit increase” is already lagging severely behind inflation to the point where it’s almost insulting when I get told I get an extra $0.40 like they’re doing me a big favor.

Now, at one point, I did once make over 150 widgets a day, and do OT to make even more widgets.

Then I suffered some burnout and had to reassess my work-life balance. So I cut back, slowly, gradually, to doing the 150, even though the minimum used to be 130, the minimum has increased while the pay has stayed the same.

Thing is.

We all have 8 hours to make 150 widgets. I however, have been caught frontloading my work and having the extra time to myself. Meanwhile my teammates who purposefully build their widgets slowly with weaponized incompetence, spread out their time. If I work, say, straight through super speedy, and make my 150 in 6 hours, that’s a whole 2 hour chunk of me time. My teammates have the exact same aggregate 2 hours, theirs is just spread out in between each widget. Difference is, I physically cannot force myself to be that lazy.

Now, obviously I’m not sitting at the assembly line under the gaze of my supervisor with a book and a coffee for those two hours. I got caught because there’s an invisible little robot in the conveyer belt counting how many times I touch the belt, while the human supervisors are far away in another warehouse.

I thought the robot only had a camera, so to speak, so let’s say I set up a me-shaped cardboard cutout weighted to keep my conveyer belt moving. I thought that was enough. No, I need to make sure the cardboard cutout is slapping the conveyer belt every few seconds and sliding widget pieces around. The existence of the robot does not encourage me to work harder at my job, it encourages me to work harder figuring out how to evade my job.

Could I make more widgets? Well yes. But I’ve learned the hard way that efficient work only gets you more work. Why should it matter how I spend those 2 hours? I know why, but just humor me. If we’re all getting paid for 2 hours of not working, then me lumping it all in at the end should be treated absolutely no differently than the people sabotaging their own output to look incompetent.

Either offer me an incentive, like a living wage, to make more widgets, or punish all of us equally for that downtime and reassess what about the process can be fixed so we maximize our efforts and want to work harder. Which starts with some fucking respect, and not micromanaging us with invisible robots like babies in a crib.

I can either be overworked or underpaid. I cannot tolerate being both.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. Fuck Corporate America.

[bpgpfesyi]

rhythm heaven fever characters (most of them anyway) translated 100 times!

Girl - investigate 

Marshal - Apply the law

Cam - you sleep

Ms. Ribbon - connective tissue

Male Golfer - golf

Monkey (Hole in One)- You are right

Mandrill - Remove the sand.

Screwbots (Robots) - A dream is a dream

See and Saw - truth

A Boy - This is what you asked for

His Crush - This is your failure 

Weasel Couple - A Welsh couple

Monkey and Frogs - The Monkey and the Frog

Fork - Home

The Executives - Head 

Assistant - Therefore;

Monkey (Assistant)- for a specific purpose

Small Monkeys - i have a monkey 

Dough Dudes - The boy is missing.

Mr. Game and Watch - Save the disc

Widget - I’ll bring some wine

Baxter and Forthington - Viruses and money

Muscle Doll - canned meat 

Reporter and Wrestler - Journalist and director 

Employee 333-4-591032 - Personal 333-4-591032

Microbe - The monk said:

Demons - House

Pinwheel Girl and another child- More news for women and children

Ann Glerr - Anna Galerová

Quicknibble - Good day

Pausegill - neck

Threefish - three

Flippers - Are you there?

Captain Tuck - Captain Tucker

Slugger - neck

Pitcher - I bless you

Monkey Umpire - ape culture

The Huebirds of Happiness - happy animal

Rhythm Rockets - Get the videos

Uhh… these guys? - You do bad things

Love Posse feat. MC Adore - I love working with Hello Mike

Bossa and Nova - I broke my leg and it hurt a lot.

The Tall Tappers - small battery

The Shrimp Scamperers - They eat wild animals

School Library Pep Squad - Commission for Education Reform

Bunny Man (Samurai Slice 2) - It’s a rabbit

Female Golfer - artist

Dough Person (?) (Working Dough 2) - E-mail address 

Cat (Remix 9) - One day after the cycle

Hato-kun, Mezamashi-kun and Omame-chan (Wake-Up Caller) - Hardwell, Lord Miles and Mr.

Kasuke and Kosuke - know yourself

Lady Cupid - The rest are women

Girl’s Basketball Team - Women’s soccer team

Frog and Frog Princess - Frog and heat

Chameleon and Flies - they have color

Clap Trap Doll - 2 books

Driver (Toy Car) - a pilot

Pirate Captain Jackie and her crew - Captain Jack Sparrow and his crew.

Police Call Guy - Call the police!

Mr. Hi-Hat (yes, that is really his name) - Community acceptance 

Rhythm Fighters - We are not like that.