#will have to test this later when i get home and have my tablet and stylus...

[evanspam]

DID A SKETCH OF A CHARACTER I LIKE AND I DIDN'T COMPLETELY FUCK HIM UP!!!

[arcane-vagabond]

If Tarzan gets to know/see more women, would the reader be afraid to not have his attention anymore? Would she think he was only interested because she was "something new"?

I think Boots would definitely be a tad insecure. She was the first woman Bradley had ever seen, after all, and I'm sure the same thoughts would be running through her head.

She knew this was a big step for him, and this is what the team had been working up to for the past year. It had started with exposing Bradley to the local village and working him up to a nearby city. Finally, you had convinced him to fly back home to San Diego with you and Bradley.

He had handled the plane ride fine, gripping your hand tightly at both takeoff and landing, but now the real test came. You and Jake would be standing on either side of Bradley as you walked through the airport, both keeping your eyes on the larger man for any signs of distress as you reached the gate for your layover. Of course, yours weren't the only eyes on him.

You had noticed a group of girls giggling and pointing at him a couple of minutes ago, and you felt your muscles tense when one of the pretty blondes strutted up to stand in front of him.

"Hi," she grinned, pearly white teeth standing out against her beautifully tanned skin. Bradley glanced up from the tablet in front of him to look at her. You held your breath. Would he want her now? Were you really just something to pass the time with? He had options now, after all.

Bradley said nothing as he cocked his head to the side, eyes studying the woman in front of him. She was undettered, twirling a strand of hair in between her fingers as she continued to give him a sultry look.

"I'm Mia," she continued, batting her eyes at him. "What's yours?"

"Bradley."

"Hi, Bradley," she giggled, and Bradley frowned. "What are you headed to San Diego for?"

"Going home," he replied, eyes narrowing in confusion as the blonde leaned forward.

"Home, huh?" She hummed. "Maybe we could hang out sometime? I can give you my number-"

"No," Bradley cut her off, shifting away from her. Mia's smile faltered, but she quickly regained her confidence, clasping her hands in front of her so that her boobs almost spilled out of her top.

"Aw, come on," she pouted playfully, leaning forward again. "It could be so much fun."

"No," Bradley said again, frowning. "Don't want to. Want to stay with my girlfriend."

You felt your heart clench at that. The two of you hadn't really spoken about relationships or what you would classify yours as, but his declaration had you fighting to keep from launching yourself into his arms. You'd definitely have to ask him where he learned the word later though.

"You're girlfriend?" Mia scoffed, finally looking at you. You kept your gaze pointedly on the tablet in your hands, pretending to scroll through your notes as she studied you. Mia let out a huff before turning her attention back to Bradley. "Well, if you change your mind, I'll be sitting right over there, handsome."

"I won't," Bradley said simply, and it took all of your strength to hold in your snort. Mia's lips pressed into a thin line before turning on her heel and walking away. It was only a few moments later when Jake collapsed into the seat on the opposite side of Bradley, passing you a water bottle that you took gratefully.

"What did I miss?" He asked with a grin, unscrewing the cap off his own bottle. You chuckled, leaning over to place a kiss to Bradley's cheek.

"Oh, nothing really."

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

I found this blog through a reblog and decided I’d poll Tumblr whether I’m the asshole. And the reason I’m concerned is because my mother (53 f) doesn’t think I’m the asshole, and that’s a bit of a red flag.

My sister (22 f) was home from college for break. She was to be traveling out of state to visit her boyfriend (23 m). Meaning, she was going to be flying in the continental US. As such, she needed a 1 qt, clear, plastic bag for her travel liquids. My family has several durable and clear plastic bags (as opposed to ziplocks) for this very purpose.

But rather than use one of these empty bags, she emptied my care bag.

This bag is fairly small. It usually holds my acne medication, including topical creams, tablets, prescribed moisturizer, etc… in travel sizes for me to take with me to work. I also include my migraine meds and lactose pills in this bag, among other things. And it fits perfectly within my backpack’s side pocket (which is why I bought it).

I noticed immediately that she had taken it as she had just dumped the contents all over my bathroom counter. So, I called her and told her that she needed to return it to me (at the time, she was only an hour away and her flight wasn’t for another week). She tried to play it off at first. “What bag?” Then she tried to reason that it wasn’t a big deal. Then she told me she didn’t want to make her bf drive an hour to return the bag to me as it’d put them an hour back in their drive, so I should just let it go.

And the reasonable part of me thinks… maybe I should? Maybe I should just go out and buy a new bag? Like… it’s annoying that she took it without asking and dumped everything out of it. It’s annoying that the bag doesn’t even meet TSA requirements as she claimed (it’s black and not completely clear). It’s annoying that I had asked her if she needed me to get her anything up for her night before and that rather than ask for help, she took something. And it’s annoying that she didn’t use the clear bags provided to her by our mother.

But the thing is… it’s not just the bag. This happens with all my stuff. It got so bad when I was a teen that my father put locks on all my drawers and doors that only I had keys to (my parents did have a spare set in the event I lost mine that they— ironically— “lost”).

EX: I have a pair of Levi jeans that I bought with a gift card from my grandparents. Levi’s are— well— expensive. Earlier last year, before she went back to school after break, I noticed they were missing. I called her and told her I was angry about this. She insisted I was “insane” and that she would never take them and that I likely misplaced them or lost them (I do have memory problems, combo of ADHD and whatever causes my migraines). My father helped me look for them. He even looked through her stuff. They *were not* in the house. But 5 months later after she came home from college, I found them under my bed (they were not previously under my bed). “See, I told you that you lost them.”

So, I told her that she needed to find a way to return the bag to me and that under no circumstances was she allowed to leave the state with it (if she did, there wasn’t much I would’ve or could’ve done about it, so I was hoping this ultimatum would work). And I said that if she didn’t return it, I would tell our mom about all the unused, unopened pregnancy tests she was stocking and hiding in her room (found when I went looking for spoons as she hides my mother’s spoons after using them). She told me “You’re insane. It’s just a bag,” but she did mail it back to me and I got it in time for work that Monday.

My mother says I was justified in demanding it back (she doesn’t know about the unused tests), but she is often petty and demanding and blows up or snaps at the smallest things. So, I am concerned that I made a big deal of nothing or that I took it too far.

AITAH? ESH?

What are these acronyms?

[bullet-prooflove]

Bitter Sweet Symphony: Nick Baxter x Reader

Tagging: @kmc1989 @burningpeachpuppy  @est1887 @flopiboni

The Romantic - Nick has always been a romantic when it comes to you.

Distraction - You distract Nick from work.

Symphony (NSFW) - Nick welcomes you home in his own special way.

Come Back To Bed - Nick tries to coax you back to bed.

It starts with a few errant notes during violin practice at home. You’ve been married for five years now, Nick’s listened to you play every single day, you make mistakes that’s how you learn but you never falter, not until today.

“What’s wrong?” He asks you, setting down the newspaper and drawing you into his lap.

He can feel the anxiety coming off you in waves as he wraps his arms around your body, holding you close.

“Somethings off.” You tell him, tucking yourself against his chest. “The music doesn’t sound right, the colours they’re different.”

You’re talking about your synaesthesia, the condition that allows you to see every note and every chord in a series of colours. 

“Maybe you’re getting sick, an ear infection.” He tries to sooth you, his lips brushing over your hairline.

“Maybe.” You say but he knows from the tone of your voice that that’s not what you think it is.

It’s a week later after you attend a doctor’s appointment that you’re referred to a specialist. Nick takes the morning off to attend with you despite your protests because this, this is something he can’t let you go through alone.

“You have diminished capacity in your left ear,” You’re told after the hearing test and you squeeze Nick’s hand tightly because this is your worst nightmare coming true. “You’re struggling to hear the higher frequencies.”

“Will she recover?” Nick asks because he can tell from the expression on your face that you’ve shut down completely. You entire world is crumbling down around you and you have idea how to cope with it.

“I’m afraid not.” The doctor says gently. “We see this with musicians who’ve spent a lot of time in orchestra pits, the sound bounces around, assaulting the ear. There are things we can do to prevent it getting worse...”

You raise to your feet and leave then because you can’t stand to hear another word. Nick gets all the details he can before he steps outside to join you. He finds you on a bench amongst the plush greenery in the courtyard with your head in your hands.

“It’s over.” You tell him, your voice desolate. “My career, it’s done.”

“That’s not true.” He murmurs as he grips the leaflets the doctor gave him even tighter in his hand. “There are things we can…”

 “You don’t understand Nick.” You snap as your rake your fingers through your hair. “The colours, they’re different. The sound doesn’t translate the same way anymore. You’re not a musician Nick, you don’t get it! I don’t know who I am without it. I don’t…”

You trail off then because you’re trying not to cry.

You’re right, he doesn’t understand. If his hearing goes, if he goes blind, or loses a limb he can still do his job, he can still practice law but you can’t, not without your hearing.

“Rosie.” He begins but he’s cut off by the sound of his phone ringing in the pocket of his overcoat. He tries to ignore it but you gesture for him to answer.

“No.” He tells you with a ferocity he feels in the depths of his soul. “This is important.”

“That could be too.” You point out as you rise to your feet and tuck your hands into the pockets of your jacket. “Your job, it’s life and death sometimes.”

 He hates the fact you’re right, that you’ve become so used to playing second fiddle to his profession that you think it’s alright for it to intrude on this discussion. He walks a few steps away before answering the phone so he won’t be overheard. It takes him a few minutes to respond to Nolan’s query. When he hangs up the phone and turns back towards you you’re nowhere to be seen.

He takes the rest of the day off and waits for you home, his tablet in his hand, doing research into your condition. Sometimes when you get overwhelmed you need a little space and time to process. The way you do it is by plugging in your headphones and walking around the city. You like to get lost in the music, let it carry you to where you want to go.

It’s two hours later that you return. You take your shoes off at the door before hanging up your coat and stepping into the living room.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” You tell him as he raises to his feet to greet you.

He can tell the news is still raw, that you haven’t even begun to deal with what’s happening to you.

“We don’t have to.” He says softly as he moves towards you, wrapping you up in his arms instead. You stiffen at the sensation and Nick sighs because he knows you’re trying to shut him out, put up an impenetrable front. You’re numb right now, you don’t want to feel and that’s ok.

“We’ll get through this.” He reassures you as he cups your face between his hands so you can see the sincerity in his eyes. “I promise you, we will.”

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[yubeskittles]

In the stars

(note: this isn’t aphmau fanfic Aaron is just autistic and my oc also this is unfinished lol)

Aaron is staring at the ceiling waiting for his alarm to go off, he’s been awake all night. His alarm goes off and he gets up going through the motions of his morning routine. Put on clothes, brush his teeth and hair, eat breakfast and go to work. This particular morning went by very fast and he had time to detour in the park. Wind blows through his hair as he bikes down a hill, rain from last night is still in the air. The scenery is the usual, trees everywhere, concrete path, pond in the distance, giant floating bubble. Aaron halts his bike abruptly almost flying off it, he walks up to the bubble taking a closer look. Inside he can see a faint humanoid shadow, he looks up to see where this bubble came from, in the trees is some sort of metal rubble like a car. He puts his hand on the bubble and it immediately pops. A girl with splotchy skin and curly hair falls on the ground, on closer inspection she has pointy ears, sharp teeth, and antennae. If it wasn’t obvious immediately from the bubble she’s not human. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUCK” he immediately covers his mouth.

Aaron stumbles back trying to figure out what to do. His first thought is to take her home and call the cops. But then again she’d probably have all sorts of cruel tests done on her if he called the cops, and some compassion in him refuses to do that to the stranger. So he picks her up on his shoulder struggling a lot and pulls his bike back up the hill, walking the way to his house. He gets up early for his job so one’s up yet, thank god. At his house Aaron lays the girl on his couch, unsure of what to do he stares at her for a second then decides to start his daily chores.

 In just a few minutes the girl wakes up “yoszver? Honcfkl chikbhio?”. Aaron drops his cleaner “oh my god hi”. The girls ears shrink, antenna reduce and her teeth flatten out “h-hallo”. He walks up to the girl touching her ears “plee see do not” she puts her hand up. He pulls his hands back “of course I’m sorry um what’s your name”. The girl tilts her head and touches Aaron’s ears. He giggles “do you want food” he makes an eating gesture. She nods and smiles as he runs to the kitchen. no matter how cool this is this is it’s still insane, what do you feed an alien what do you do with an alien. He takes out some salad mix and some leftover chicken wings is she a herbivore, carnivore, maybe more human and an omnivore. He puts down the two food options, her antenna grow out again as she bends over to look at the food. Immediately she chows down on the wings and the salad mix like her life depends on it. “Wow you were really hungry weren’t you” his eyes widen and he mutters “what am I going to do”.

It’s been a few weeks since this whole situation began, originally Aaron took a break from going to work to take care of this girl he’s been calling Irene. But now he does have to go back to work instead of doing it online, which is quite upsetting to Irene.

 “Where going?” She’s wearing one of Aaron’s old dresses which is just a little too small but it does the job. “Oh Irene haha” hes just about to leave “I have to go to work”. Her eyebrows furrow “how long gone eeroon”. He gets a bit worried, he doesn’t know exactly what she can do so he tries not to upset her. Recently she leaves this weird goo all over the house that stings to touch so could have something crazy like acid breath. “I’ll be gone all day but don’t worry when I get back I’ll bring some pizza” he tries to assure her. “NO WORK there bad guys that will hurt girl” she pouts. Irene snuck out of bed one night and saw Aaron watching a horror movie so know she’s terrified of being alone. “No one’s going to hurt you Irene now I have to go I’ll be late”he assures her. Irene pouts but cooperates. 

Later that day Aaron comes back from work with a pizza like promised. “Irene I’m home” he calls out. Irene runs up to him with his tablet “no Irene girl is Charli”. He’s surprised but proud she picked her own name, just because he liked Irene better he understands the importance of a name. “Alright Charli I brought us pizza” he puts the pizza down and takes his coat off sitting on the couch. “Charli wants meat pizza” she exclaims “‘I want a meat pizza,did you get one?’” He corrects. “Charli wants meat pizza” she giggles, now she’s just teasing him “yes it’s meat pizza” 

Later the next day after work there’s a knock on the door. Aaron jumps up from the couch expecting a package, when he opens the door it’s his friends. A short curly haired girl wearing pigtails and a constant angry expression and a taller girl with short curly hair and a calm happy expression, Maggie and Luna. His hairs stand on end “OH WOW I uh didn’t know you guys were coming over”. Maggie speaks in her Mona tone but perky voice “why is this such a shock we haven’t hung out in like a month asshole”. “We were just a bit worried thats all” Luna corrects. Charli walks up to him “who these eeroon?”. The short girl puts a hand on her own chest in shock “who the hell is this hoe” she exclaims. “I Charli I eeroon friend” she smiles, he chimes in “don’t call her a hoe thats mean mags”. “She looks and talks weird, why does she have cat eyes and elf ears” Maggie says bluntly. “Maggie don’t be so rude be happy that our godbrother has new friends” Luna puts a hand on her shoulder. “Well I am glad he’s not such a lonely fuck anymore better to have a freak than no one” Maggie puts her hand on her chin. “Alright sis come inside we’ve got left overs if you want” he stops the conversation. After watching a movie Maggie and Luna go home.

[liaromancewriter]

The Love Language Test

Premise: Sienna and Max explore which of the five love languages works for them.

Book: Open Heart (post series) Pairing: Sienna Trinh x Max Valentine (M!OC) Rating/Category: Teen. Fluff. Words: 1,350

A/N: Requested by @storyofmychoices from this prompt list - preparing lunch. Submission for @choicesprompts Rewrite challenge. It's inspired by this Blue Bloods scene in S11 between Eddie and Jamie about their love language. I'm also using @choicesflashfics week 40, prompt 1 (in bold)

“What’s your love language?”

Sienna Trinh pursed her lips as she glanced over the top of the tablet and waited for Max Valentine to answer.

It was after dinner, and they were in his home office. He was catching up on emails while she was parked on the couch, keeping herself busy. She had started hanging out here when he wasn’t on calls and found it comforting to have him close.

“My, what now?” he asked without looking up, his hands flying across the laptop’s keyboard, eyes focused on the screen.

“Love language,” she said. “You know, the way you like to express and receive love. There are five of them, but we each have one or two that speak to us the most.”

Sienna explained patiently, repeating the words she’d read in an online article. “If couples communicate using each other’s love languages, the relationship can become even stronger.”

“Sex,” he chuckled, turning his head to wink at her. “Just let me finish here, and I’ll happily show you.”

Sienna rolled her eyes. “Be serious.”

“I resent that,” he joked, eyes back on the laptop screen. “I’m always serious about sex.”

“Why does Cassie know all about this, and you don’t?” Sienna mused, fighting back a yawn as she stretched out on the comfortable couch and pulled a fleece blanket over her legs to keep them warm.

Until recently, she had been under the impression that as twins Cassie and Max were more alike than different in their tastes and interests. But she was slowly realizing the error of her ways.

Cassie loved junk food, and Max was all about eating healthy. Cassie inhaled coffee by the gallons. Max preferred tea. She was an optimist and a big believer in fate. Her brother was a realist and inherently skeptical. And yet, Sienna loved them equally but in completely different ways.

“I keep telling you, babe. We’re twins, not clones,” Max retorted. “Besides, Cassie majored in psychology at Georgetown and has always been interested in this stuff. I’d be surprised if she didn’t know it.”

Sienna rubbed her eyes and checked the time at the top of her screen. She should get up and get ready for bed but felt way too comfortable to move. She’d just started a new job last week, and her body was still adjusting after a two-month break.

That reminded her. She still had to put her lunch together for tomorrow. She’d meant to do it earlier, but it slipped her mind.

She yawned again and fought to keep her eyes open, losing the battle as she sank deeper into the couch.

Sienna woke up the next morning in their bed wearing the Wharton tee shirt she’d stolen from Max’s closet. Slightly disoriented at first, she gazed at the ceiling as she tried to remember the events of last night.

She remembered bantering with Max about love languages, and then her memory was fuzzy. She had wanted them to do an online quiz, but she must have fallen asleep before she could suggest it.

Sienna really wanted to learn his love language, and hers too in this relationship.

Max had arisen before her as usual, but his side of the bed wasn’t cold to touch, so it must not have been long. She yelped when she saw the time and quickly climbed out of bed.

A short while later, she was dressed for work except for tying back her hair. Desperate for coffee, she rushed into the kitchen to throw some snacks together since she wouldn’t have time to make anything.

She pulled up short at the sight of Max behind the counter and delicious aromas wafting from the stove.

“Good morning,” he said affably, walking around the kitchen peninsula to lock his hands around her hips and buss her on the cheek. “You look beautiful today. You should wear your hair down more often.”

He turned away to pour coffee and handed her the mug. “Heard you moving around and figured you’d need this before long.”

“Thanks,” she smiled, enjoying how his hand lingered over hers around the mug before he let go.

She sighed in pleasure as the first hint of caffeine hit her taste buds. “Something smells amazing, and it’s not just the coffee.”

Sienna watched him above the rim of the coffee mug. He wore the loose pants and tee shirt he’d slept in and hadn’t showered or shaved.

“I made you lunch,” he said, voice muffled as he reached inside the lower cabinet for a roll of wax paper. “It’s a roast beef melt on a French baguette with caramelized onions and sautéed mushrooms. Just the way you like it. ”

Sienna felt her heart turn to mush as he deftly wrapped the sandwich and covered it with foil to keep it warm. That’s when she noticed her lunch bag on the counter, the cover unzipped and flipped open. Inside were a trail mix snack, a small container of strawberry yogurt and three chocolate chip cookies.

Setting her mug down on the counter, Sienna moved into Max and wrapped her arms around his waist, tilting her head back to meet his puzzled gaze.

“Thank you for this,” she nodded toward the lunch, “and knowing exactly what I need.”

“You’re welcome,” he said, cupping her face. “Taking care of you is my absolute pleasure. I’m so grateful fate brought us together.”

“I thought you didn't believe in fate,” she teased.

“I didn’t...until I met you.”

She smiled dreamily at the words, stretched on her toes and kissed the underside of his jaw.

Max tenderly put two fingers under her chin, raised her face, and then lowered his lips to hers. The kiss was short, sweet, and perfect for the moment, she thought, their foreheads leaning against each other.

“Let’s have a quick breakfast, and then I have to grab a shower and get dressed,” he said, stepping back. “I’ll make sure to be at home on time today. Maybe we can watch a movie or hit the blues club? A night out on the town. Would you like that?”

Sienna shook her head out of a daze as she glanced around the kitchen, her eyes narrowing as she put two and two together.

“Wait a minute.” She placed her hands on her hips. “Did you just practice the five love languages on me?”

She held up one hand and started counting. “Gave me coffee, complimented my appearance, kisses and hand touches, made my lunch, and a mouthwatering one at that, just because, and now quality time as a couple.”

Max just shrugged. “I read up on them last night, and they looked interesting. I didn’t know which was yours, so I figured I’d run an experiment and do all five.”

“I find that incredibly romantic,” Sienna admitted, mind boggling at the lengths he’d gone to at such short notice. “And also mildly terrifying because of how good you are at them.”

He smirked. “What can I say? Valentines are competitive as fuck and overachievers when we go after what we want.”

Max reached for her hand and tugged her close. “By the way, your love language is definitely acts of service. You practically had heart eyes when you looked at the lunch bag.”

“I know,” Sienna said. “I’ve always done things like this for everyone, but someone is looking after me for the first time in a long time. And it makes me feel so cherished.”

He squeezed her hand in acknowledgment. “In case you’re wondering, mine is quality time. I know I can be a workaholic at times. Okay, most of the time,” he amended when she made a face. “But spending time with you, just us, even if it’s having you hang out in my office while I answer emails? That’s what I love most.”

Hand in hand, they stood in the middle of the kitchen, eyes locked on each other. They needed to get to work, but both were loathe to let go of this perfect moment.

“Five more minutes?” she whispered.

“Five more minutes.”

---------------

All Fics & Edits: @annfg8 @bluebelle08 @coffeeheartaddict2 @crazy-loca-blog @doriopenheart @genevievemd @headoverheelsforramsey @lucy-268 @jamespotterthefirst @jerzwriter @lady-calypso @mainstreetreader @peonierose @potionsprefect @queencarb @quixoticdreamer16 @rookiemartin @socalwriterbee @takemyopenheart @tessa-liam @trappedinfanfiction

Submissions: @choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

Max & Sienna only: @aallotarenunelma @storyofmychoices @kyra75

[pbandjesse]

Today was good, compared to last night. After my post I would continue to feel nauseous and would end up violently throwing up and it was really horrible. James helped me and cleaned up and I got changed but I was just so upset. At least I wasn't feeling as sick but I felt disgusting.

And sleep wasn't easy. I would eventually go get some juice and that helped. Sweetp was being bad again but not as bad. So we didn't have to lock him out of the room. But waking up at 630 was still tough.

But I did it. And I got dressed. And had some cereal. James was downstairs waiting for me to get myself together. And soon we were heading to our appointment.

I didn't feel amazing. I wasn't nauseous exactly but I had a little reflux and was just really tired. It was nice to see friendly faces from the nurses. The nurse we had today keeps calling us her friends and that was so nice. And while we were getting the tests and monitoring done she told was asking about our pets. And I was telling her about Crabcake and she said that there was another patient that had an emotional support snapping turtle that she brings to the appointment!!! What!! She showed me a picture and I thought that was hilarious because the only emotions I know snapping turtles to have is rage and anger so I am very curious what it would do for this pregnant person!! Still hilarious though.

Sylvia was looking great. Continues to be breech. The nurse said she might be bald?! Which was surprising to her because I have so much hair. I will only tease her a little if she's bald.

We finished up there. And I already have all my appointments made. So we could just bounce. James took my picture outside the office like always. And we headed out.

James got their bike off the car and gave me a kiss and then I went home. I was so tired and so ready to be back in bed.

When I got back here I was in a really good mood. I had things to do this afternoon but nothing this morning so I just got cozy and went to sleep for hours.

And it was really good rest. I woke up at 11 and took a bit to get myself up and out of bed. I was really cold but I wouldn't put the heat on for a while. Not for any particular reason. But I just didn't.

Instead I had lunch. Ate to many Hershey kisses. And worked on drawing on my tablet while I waited for the plumber to come.

He would actually come early which was nice. He was nice guy. I explained the issue and what I thought was the issue. He said that the shower not getting hot could be three things: the scald protector (which is what I thought), a clogged cartridge, or that the entire valve needed to be replaced. These were all wildly different price points. And if it was the last one he would have to cut a hole in my closet to get to it. So I was really worried. Like well pay for whatever needs doing but man did I not want to spend $1000 today.

He left to go back to the shop for tools. And would return a few minutes later. I had talked through everything with James so we were ready for whatever needed to happen.

And then the plumber was back. He accidently knocked one of the mirrors in the hallway and the frame broke. But I thought it was pretty fixable. He felt so bad.

And I think his guilt for breaking that gave us a little discount. But also the thing wrong with the shower was what I thought was wrong! The scald protector was just set to high. And he fixed it and it was no big deal. I paid him for his time. And he headed out with well wishes.

And I was so excited. I am going to take an actual bath tonight that isn't half cold. It's going to be great.

Once I let James know what happened I got to work fixing the mirror. It isn't perfect but I think it's passable. No one will notice it's a little wobbly looking now if I don't point it out. And it was nice to have a little project.

I went back to drawing on my tablet. Finally drew up a frame for my bear tarot cards and I love it. And I was just having a good time. I had put the heat on when the plumber was there and I felt a lot better with it so I was just in a better mood.

James would come home while I was sitting at our bedroom desk waiting on the teamster meeting on zoom. And it was an excellent meeting.

I am going to help write up the press release form the employees of the museum. And we went through the talking points and what we are hoping for and what departments are being represented. And it was great. I love being part of a team. Zella, who has been the big driving force, is so great. And I am really excited to work with them more.

After the call I came downstairs to hang out on the couch with James. We had pasta for dinner. My back was hurting so James got me my heating pad. And started the laundry.

And now I think I'm going to go try and take a bath. And we'll just have a nice evening together.

Tomorrow I have some small errands to run. And then we have the BMI's holiday party. I am looking forward to that! Always excited to see people.

I hope I feel good. And I hope you all have a great night. Sleep well everyone. I love you all!!!

[jodilin65]

Sneaky little spammers are searching for my old entries where I’d allow comments on PB to spam me. I wish there was a way to disable all comments at once. Even better, I'd like it if only friends could comment. I hate blocking them just to stop spammers and trolls.

It's freezing for Florida, but at least it's keeping the roads quieter. Not many dare to ride their motorcycles in this cold.

I dreamed Tom was feeling really nauseous, and when he got up, I asked if he was okay. Now, he has a pain in his leg.

The corner nut job’s place is up for sale. The place is still trashed, but no vehicles are there, and no one seems around. I'm a bit worried that the wider driveway and double garage might attract barking dogs and motorcycles, but hopefully, there's nothing to worry about. It seems they won’t replace the house, just fix it up, which might still cause some racket. It’s close enough that I’ll hear it from the living room and kitchen, but it shouldn’t reach the bedroom. Anything that does, my sound machine should cover when I’m sleeping.

I still have a little burning down there and frequent peeing, but I’m not sure it’s a UTI. It’s likely just the menoshit, as I call it, but I’ll get test strips soon if there’s no change. I’ll get them before my virtual meeting with Rhonda so I can share the results if needed.

Back on probiotics, though I had to skip yesterday due to the tummy issues they bring. I’ve also increased my use of Replens. Hopefully, I just got a bit low on probiotics.

I slow-cooked a pork rib in soy sauce, and it came out so good.

Tomorrow, we’re getting breakfast at Burger King. He gets discounts there.

My feet feel like blocks of ice, even in socks and sneakers, but we don’t want to run the heater and drain the battery as we head to the ENT.

Later…

On the way home with good, bad, and surprising news—and a sore throat. The doctor sprayed some nasty stuff in my nose for an endoscopy, leaving my throat sore. The procedure wasn’t painful, but it got very uncomfortable the further up my nose he went.

After filling out a bunch of info on a tablet, which seemed to take forever, I was brought into the exam room. After a bit of waiting, the doctor came in. He’s definitely young and small but seems knowledgeable. A tall, skinny Asian guy came in with him to type up notes.

I don’t have polyps, and my septum is only slightly deviated, but I do have a collapsed nasal valve. It’s yet another gift of aging as the skin loses its elasticity. Fixing it would be a big deal—costly with a rough recovery. He surprised me by suggesting I return to steroid sprays, ensuring me they are safe. There are two types of sprays to try, and also pills if the sprays don’t cut it. Surgery would be a last resort. 

We’re hoping that managing the allergy aspect of it will make the collapsed valve less noticeable. A drier climate would help if we ever move. They do allergy testing, which I might do even though I know I’m allergic to dust, mites, pollen, dander, molds, and certain grasses. It’d be interesting to see if there are unknown allergies, especially since something triggered my allergies in Auburn and Phoenix. I'd like to know what they are so I don't go moving back to it again.

The bad ear looked clear and didn’t need cleaning. 

The doctor used various tools that he slapped on his leg to get a vibration going, placed them on parts of my head, and asked which ear I heard better from. The most amazing thing was when he used a hearing device on the bone behind my ear, and I heard as well as with my good ear! Apparently, my hearing is there but inaccessible due to how they did the surgery I had in the ‘90s. I guess they don’t drill canals or create eardrums the way they used to. I could get a bone-anchored hearing aid. They have a couple of options there. A hearing test showed moderate high-frequency loss in my good ear, typical with age. But I’m not in a hurry to improve my hearing. Why would I want to hear loud vehicles, boom car stereos, planes, power tools, and blasting music better than I already do?

We also discussed my sleep apnea since it’s kind of connected and he even had a sleep apnea chart on his wall and its effects. He recommended retrying the nasal pillow instead of a full-face mask. I’ll still need breathing strips and a humidifier, but the nasal pillow will force air through my nose. I’m more determined than ever to make the CPAP work! I’m glad to finally have answers, even if they aren’t great. Knowledge is still power. I can’t keep living in an exhausted fog. If I can’t adapt to the CPAP, I might revisit the Inspire option since no one around here does mouthguards. Something’s got to be done. I can’t continue with just a few good days here and there. Luckily, I had decent energy yesterday.

[zemnarihah]

okay so this week i had 2 big assignments due and simultaneously my apt was doing maintenance for a crack in the tub which i've been bugging them abt FOREVER they've like glued it closed a million times and it always comes back anyway this time they were like i swearrr we're fixing it for real watch this it'll even be a 2 day fix. aaand u can't be in ur apartment during it <3 so me and buttercup had to go stay w mg parents which is fine like i'm pretty lucky to have a decent enough relationship w them and that they live nearby but idk it just makes life feel a bit more stressful to not be able to go home. so that kinda sucked. but today i was super busy in the morning i went to my bfs to do homework bc he lets me borrow his nice drawing tablet for digital painting i unfortunately didn't get everything i needed to done and had to leave for class. so i go to class from 2-7:30. get out go straight to my parents to get buttercup bc we're allowed back in our apartment now and i lm not spending another night not in my own bed. and i don't want to wake my parents up later at night getting her. but i'm planning on just dropping her off and heading straight to my bfs to continue w digital painting. i get there i pick her up. i move to put her into her carrier which she hates more than anything in the world. so she gets scared and pisses. i'm holding her like close to my body so it goes all down my leg soaks into my jeans. she pissed my pants. so anyway i get her in. immediately go shower off and have to steal a pair of pants from my mom to drive home in bc i'm not wearing cat piss jeans. i get her home. when i let her out of the carrier her nose is bleeding. she was so violently pressing her face against the carrier door that she scraped it??? i guess?? that's the only thing i can think of bc it wasn't like that before she went in i THINK. anyway all of this on top of the fact that my portfolio is due on monday and i have two other large assignments this week and all my regular weekly homework for figure and gesture drawing. my roommate momentarily suggested we move out of my apartment i was flipping out abt that bc i don't want to have to find a new place rn. but that's been delayed at least 8 months now so doesn't matter anymore. also my period started in the middle of class which I HAD A FEELING it was starting soon but i looked at my little app and it said it wasn't starting for like 8 days so i was like huh weird must just be an unrelated tummy ache. anyway this week has been a lot i have a test tmrw on the muscles in the arm which WHO CAAARES ABT THAT but whatever. this day is finally over and thank god. goodnight

[amalthea-fictions]

👉👈🥺 can I request that you write a fanfic about Shakarian doing this:

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRnBmKTp/

(there's a whole compilation but I won't bother you with it 😅)

Like Shepard is reading a book in their home smirking at a thought of making her husband do this and pulls Garrus to awkwardly and asking him to do certain positions for her and he's like confused and totally awkward about it as she's trying to soothe her inner fangirl and he's just being a dork like "um ok..why..?" 😂💙

A/N: Hello! First of all, I'M SO SORRY THIS REQUEST IS SO OLD. Second of all: aww this is so cute! 💙 For anyone who can't see the link, it's the TikTok "BookTok doorframe lean" trend from forever ago 😂 I hope that you enjoy even though it's late, and thank you for the fun request!

Garrus and the BookTok Lean

She leaned against the doorframe, utterly dejected, when suddenly HE approached. 

He slid his hand over her head, the weight of his perfectly chiseled biceps supported by the doorframe. With his other hand, he tilted her head up and– 

“Honey, Vega wants to know if you’ll be at the N7 gala this week.”

Shepard looks up from her book towards her husband’s voice. She shifts her feet under her knees on the plush sofa she’s cozied up in on her balcony. 

“Tell him yes, but I already promised we’d sit at the Urdnot table,” she calls. 

Inside the house, Garrus affirms, but Shepard has already picked up her book again.

With his other hand, he tilted her head up and moved his nose towards hers. He moved forward to kiss her–

“Do you have your dress ready for that night, or should I put in an order for the cleaners?”

Shepard sighs, marking the page in her book and putting it down beside her on the couch.

“It’s ready,” she answers, projecting her voice past the doorframe. 

The doorframe.

A smirk creeps unto her lips.

“Garrus? Could you come here for a second?”

It only takes a moment for him to finish whatever he was doing and walk into her view.

“What do you need, sweetheart?” He asks. But before he can cross the threshold from one room to the next, Shepard stops him by raising one hand.

“Wait,” she says, and he freezes with one leg over the doorsweep. “I need you to test something for me.”

“Is everything alright?” He’s trying to sound casual, but his subvocals betray his concern. Because of course he would do anything she ever needs, so long as she’s happy and healthy. She’ll have to apologize later for abusing his trust. But for now…

“I’m not sure.” She chews the inside of her cheek. “I’m worried there’s something wrong with the doorframe.”

He diverts his gaze from his wife to the frame in question. “The entryway? What about it?”

“It’s been shaking in the wind tonight,” she lies. Then, after a pretend moment of hesitancy, “Could you test its stability for me?”

“Sure, let me just get my tablet and I’ll run some calibrations–”

“No, no, just lean on it.”

Garrus barely had any time to move to grab his tech before Shepard’s interjection. He tilts his head, confused. 

“Lean on it?”

Shepard nods, schooling her expression into neutrality, but hiding her giddiness. “Mhm. No calibrations necessary. I think you’ll be able to tell if it’s stable enough from putting your weight on it.”

Garrus squints at her. In spite of her practiced ability to conceal her emotions, he can still read his wife better than anyone. “Alright,” he says slowly, but obliges her. He allows the top half of his body to fall onto the side of the wall, pressing his shoulder into the frame. “Like this?”

She evaluates him. “A little more.”

He lifts an eyebrow, but then leans his carapace against the frame and crosses one foot behind the other for good measure. “The frame isn’t moving. Are you sure you saw it shaking?”

Shepard nods a bit too eagerly. “I’m sure. Maybe try…” she shifts her feet from under one knee to the other, leaning forward a bit. “Maybe try leaning your weight through your hand against the frame.

“Hm, a singular pressure point then?”  He holds one hand out directly perpendicular to the frame, pushing into it. Naturally, the door does not budge. 

“Not there,” Shepard points a finger towards the top corner of the frame. “A little higher.”

He slides his hand up on the frame and leans into it.

Shepard feels the heat rush to her cheeks.

“Here?” Garrus asks, and turns to look at her. 

She inhales sharply to avoid squealing.

He notices.

“Are you alright?” The poor turian can’t figure out whether to be genuinely concerned over the door, confused over his wife’s odd behavior, or convinced Joker is somewhere somehow pranking him. 

Shep stands up from the couch and nods. “Yes,” she answers, “but I think maybe I should help you.” And when Garrus budges a millimeter, she quickly adds, “--But stay exactly how you are.”

Garrus furrows his brow, but obeys. “Um… okay, why?”

Shepard slides herself in the space between him and the wall, knitting her hands together behind her back. She gazes up at him, perfectly positioned under his arm.

She can’t hide her giddy smile.

“Shepard,” Garrus exhales, mirth in his eyes. “This isn’t about the doorframe at all, is it?”

She tilts her head up and nuzzles him. “Just kiss me already, Vakarian.”

• • • • •

Later that evening, in bed, Shepard would show Garrus the passage in her book that inspired her.

"Sweetheart," Garrus laughs. "If you wanted me to do those poses, you could have just asked me."

[hisui-cotton]

Hello Hello! Today I’d like to talk about my experience in going to digital art as my primary workflow over the past 5 or 6 years and what I’ve kinda wanted to do for my art in the past and now in the future. Overall I wanted to share my thoughts on the two primary programs I use, how I critique myself and what I’ve learned about art on a personal level.

To preface, as this is a newer format, you expect a level of self-reflection in this that may seem odd! This is both a report to my own brain cave (in lore it's Ithod my "home planet") and a personal exploration of aspects of my life that have taken my interest. This is one of my big steps into finding what I enjoy creating as a VTuber. So please look forward to it as the future has more of this type of blogging but on a variety of topics I find interest in in addition to my Art posts!

Alright let’s start from the…beginning? One of the first times I got a genuine chance to use digital art was in 2013 on a Acer laptop and a tablet I can’t remember the brand of. I didn’t learn too much, I kind of just went for it. It’s hard to explain that I was not really looking at digital art as something I needed to relearn compared to traditional art, not to mention that I was still not improving my art in a….genuine way? I think I was just trying things out to explore how it works. The main problem was that I just didn’t know what I wanted to be using it for at the time. Like yes I wanted to draw but what did I want to be using digital art for that I could use traditional art to do? Overall I didn’t do a whole lot with that tablet other than play around with it but that was a good entry nonetheless.

Sometime after that in 2016/2018-ish I began to draw on my phone and I got a Windows Surface Pro. These were the two steps that really gave me perspective on some of the stuff I can do in digital Art compared to traditional, especially since I had also by that point learned way more about concepts in art and planning my work. This is really where I leaned into taking stuff I learned concept wise and played around with the ability of digital programs like layers, clipping, and being able too revert to old phases of the process without having to totally restart. I played around a lot with making sure I was atleast TRYING to get fullbody work in my compositions as I noticeably struggled with getting body gestures down. Everything felt stiff and I couldn’t figure out how to get rid of that while getting line art in. A lot of that went on to mean that I just did a lot of sketching, studies and generally drew things I felt I had a vague idea for. I typically didn’t go beyond the testing/planning either there because that wasn’t what I was really aiming to do. If I wasn’t thinking of an image beyond it’s initial idea then I had no need to try things beyond that. This wasn’t like a bad time for my art though. In the one year of drawing on a Surface Pro I went from basic fanart doodles to a fairly well developed digital style. I hadn’t even really looked back at the progress of that first year of drawing on the surface pro till now. In the year before I had been drawing fairy consistently on my phone but it was doing basic little portraits and stuff like that. If I had to say I learned one specific thing in the time I used the surface pro (which was for about 3 years) it’s likely that the screen/tablet type you use has a greater effect on how you draw that you may realize.

The ability to draw in my phone was great for at work during lunches or for jotting down sketch ideas which I could use/develop later if I wanted to. I very much loved this convivence because I didn’t want to risk taking my Surface Pro to work or something like that and then it breaking or getting stolen. So the phone usage was very nice especially in our modern era where a good mini-stylus or just the right free app is enough. Specifically I worked in Pixiv Sketch, and still do when I draw on my phone. It’s got a great basic variety of brushes and then a layer function with a decent amount of layer limits.

The Surface Pro’s ability to make the process feel smooth and clean even at various pen pressures was really interesting to realize after switching to an XP-Pen Tablet. It was also really nice to have something to just pull up a full drawing program but also be able to lay in my bed lmao. It may not have done much for my quality but it made me feel like drawing wasn’t something that I had to be up and ready to do if I just wanted to doodle. It also ran really well with decent memory space. This bring me to Paint Tool Sai, the program that I’ve been using for most of my digital art.

I bought Paint Tool Sai back on my Acer laptop. It was $75 at the time which was a lot for me but now looking back…I’ve had like a lifetime art program that can be used at a professional level. I remember recently watching one of the BTS of Genshin Impact and seeing Paint Tool Sai open in on one of their PCs was really refreshing lmao. It was the same hat meme. It was great. But also the fact that it’s made by one guy in Japan, who has been developing the 2.0 for the past few years is crazy because it’s honestly such a great program. I got the 2.0 upgrade for free as well which was even nicer in regards to the fact I only paid for it once also 10 years ago.

Because of it’s program nature with various brush folders and texture folders, it’d similar to Clip Studio in it’s customization for brush textures and settings. You can create your own textures, brushes and such and import them into the program. I find it’s overall feeling when drawing is really smooth even in a lot it’s brush settings. It’s got great reaction time and feels a lot like traditional art for that reason. Even with a really high Stabilization it’s reaction and accuracy to the line is really nice. The digital coloring on the other hand doesn’t really feel as good. I like to use the marker tool because I personally enjoy the look of washed colors so it isn’t too bad for me but when I need flat colors or blended rendering I tend to personally struggle with getting it done at a decent speed. But all the conveniences of the placement for in-program functions like new-layer, merge layer, copy/paste and blank layer are in the same place which I prefer over Clip Studio’s spread out options. It’s possible I can move them around more but the built in thought of the placement for a lot of things in Paint Tool Sai is a nice start for someone looking to just get started within digital art and needs a program with just enough stuff beyond the essentials to let you do really good quality work.

Now I’ve upgraded to a full PC, which I got in 2020. I use an Omen as I expected that if I wanted to use other art programs or draw on even bigger canvases that I should need a more robust system than what I used on the Surface Pro, but I didn’t need anything too crazy that would require a custom system. I also took this as a time to get a slightly larger tablet. Currently I use a XP-Pen tablet which is noticeably different to use than a surface pro. Since a surface Pro is also a laptop/tablet it had a smoother screen, untextured and such, where as the XP-Pen has a slight Matte to it. The XP-Pen also has a layered screen, where theres a slight slight space between where your pen is and the actual place it’s drawing at.

My use of Sai has gone down in the last month however as I finally began using Clip Studio. I admit that theres still something about the feel of the program I don’t like in comparison to Sai but it’s a better overall experience for making higher quality, more complete work at this time. Partially because I still haven’t figured out my art process. Clip Studio has made the convenience of coloring much more accessible to me on a variety of levels. It let’s me feel like I’m not overly perfectionist on my sketch process or lineart in comparison to just laying down a few colors because I don’t have confidence with them. Now even without confidence in my color choices or usage I at least feel like I’ve been able to fake it. In sai it was very dependent on you knowing what colors you wanted to use and what tool you’d use to lay them down. So far it doesn’t feel that way in Clip Studio. I can choose a basic brush and paint bucket and get color laid down in about 20 minutes if I wanted or take more time with a slightly varied brush and get that washed style I like while also being able to properly fill the spaces of the work.

Overall in my art process itself it’s been a lot faster as well than in Sai, perhaps because I’m still taking it slower with the express reason of really learning to use it for efficiency. My progression through the years has sort of allowed me to take that previous knowledge I’d gained and use it in what I do next which is generally what one does when making a change to their professional processes. A lot of doing things new successfully depends on how much you can make it work with what you already know.

Finally let’s talk about my art process itself, what my sort of mentality is behind it. A lot of what I do is based on “Oh I really want to see something like this!” or “That would be a fun/cool image” if I’m drawing for myself. I start with a thumbnail sketch, enlarge that and then do another more detailed sketch on top of that. Typically I haven’t done lineart in the past because it adds a lot of time to the process and I never feel like it looks good compared to sketch. Now that I have clip studio though and the coloring process can go a lot faster with better lineart, I’ve been trying to do a bit cleaner sketches or full lineart. Coloring usually is flat colors first, washed shading next and then multiple layer styles on top of that of highlights and shading. I usually do washed shading as a sort of “sketch” for the shades. Usually a rough colored drawing takes about 2 hours? Sometimes a bit more depending on how much I clean up the lines, sometimes less if I just slap on the colors and lines.

The things that I feel I need to work on the most are usually in regards to colors and composition. I tend to focus up my character compositions to fill the whole page either by intentionally drawing them large or by enlarging the sketches to fill the page size. But if it’s a composition that isn’t character focused or has some more environmental aspects then I tend to struggle. My color choices also are hard to do because I don’t usually consider them in my sketching phase. Since I usually go into pieces with an idea of what person, character or outfits I’m drawing then colors tend not to be something I think too much about. This is something I notice a lot in environmental drawings though because the colors get so clashed when actual lighting and such needs to be planned out against a certain layout. Which sucks because I absolutely LOVE vibrant coloring and such but I don’t know how to make that work with environment stuff yet.

A lot of what I want to draw, in both style and “substance”, is character driven. I like action that shows a lot of atmosphere or feels very in character. When a still image can feel like it captures the feeling of a moment or feels like it was made with a real idea in mind that means a lot to me, so that’s what I try to go in with when I’m drawing. For characters and such that can be a variety of things from just lounging around or hanging out to getting dressed-up or a variety of actions. It’s really fun to see so much more in the things that I like and to be able to share those things through art is wonderful.

To send you off I want to say that…I like being an artist. It’s so nice to know and learn a skill like art since it can be a sort of perspective into a person’s views. People’s ability to connect over concepts and such is so cool and I feel like even today when we have fine art, fanart and everything in-between that it really sets up the fun of creativity and community. Right now there’s an ongoing official art series of Miku and Pokemon drawn by various artists. Some people have begun taking that concept and drawing it themselves, putting their own spins on it in their version of the pokemon style and outfits. It’s so cool that looking through it all I can barely tell which ones are official and which are fan made. Like it’s a clear cut conversation where everyone can give it a shot with their own ideas and can still be talking about the same thing. I think that’s lovely.

For my art in the future, I want to be able to design and draw a buncha stuff. I really like stationary and want to make some stuff in the future for it. These report logs are one place I’ll be playing around with that to test it a bit so I’m excited to continue these. I also want to better my Background drawing because I really love the idea of being able to put characters in a location, somewhere I can imagine them being. I’ve gotten better at character interactions but I want to think about how much further that can go if I add an environment. For the future of my style…I don’t know! I like to have a very dreamy or washed style but also bold colors and expressive lines. But I’ll definitely be thinking about it even more in the future as I start developing a finished my process (getting fully rendered colors, lineart, etc.).

[yourcoolfriendwithallthecandy]

Hello tumblr friend! Hope all is going well 🥰

Actually, no, I'm not ok. Things aren't going on well, at all.

I'm the oldest of 4 daughters to my parents. So I'm the eldest daughter. (The oldest son is his mother's prince, the eldest daughter is the second mother), my mother is her mom's eldest daughter. So I got a double dose of that.

I'm also an LMT, and with that medical license comes with a responsibility of being a Mandated Reporter.

So, let me give you some background information to explain why 2024 and now 2025 have been a living hell.

In 2019, so 6 years ago, when I was in Massage School, my 3rd ever patient/client was a victim of several kinds of abuse. And being a victim myself (Dad was a Narcissistic Abuser, this will come into play later, plus at the age of four I was repeatedly raped by - I dont know or remember who, because have trauma blocked the shit out of it, I DO NOT want to know who really did it, but this will come into play later too))

Back to 2019, I recognized that my new patient was being abused. It wasn't bruises, or anything that I could pin point, it was her *behavior pattern* that I recognized.

Now, I have ADHD, my brain LIVES ON and LOVES pattern recognition. And when I was tested for ADHD, the ONE THING that kept me from getting an autistic diagnosis- is because I am in the top 1% of facial expression, micro-facial expression recognition, behavior pattern recognition, body language, everything. I am quite literally a Super Empath. I can walk into a room and immediately tell you who is happy, sad, angry, MASKING, and WHO THE THREAT IS. Because from the age of 4, that was how I SURVIVED. Not only that, because my Dad was a Narcissistic Abuser, my trauma response to him and all others? If I can read them and discern that if I FAWN, they'll be nice to me and won't see me as threatening and by me Fawning, can therefore be manipulated to keep everyone else safe and happy, I WILL FAWN. It's taken 20 years of therapy to learn how to NOT FAWN. However, if I read an abuser and discern that it would not matter what I did, they are a danger to me and everyone around them and me? That kicks in my flight or fight and when it kicks to fight I AM A MAMA BEAR WHO WILL RIP YOU TO SHREDS WITHOUT HESITATION.

Again, back to 2019. This woman had 6 kids, a seventh on the way, the oldest was only 8 about to be 9. And my patient was 5 months along on our first appointment/treatment session. On our second session, she didn't have a sitter and brought her kids with her and when I greeted them, they IMMEDIATELY all rushed to hug me. Which, I'm used to. When kids get lost at the grocery store, they find ME before they find an assciate to help them find their parents again, this is a badge of honor I wear proudly.

However, once I get them into the room, thats when I recognized of abuse IN THE KIDS TOO. I mean, NO TODDLER SHOULD HIDE AND BE PERFECTLY STILL AND SILENT FOR AN HOUR LONG SESSION. The oldest, also a daughter, was hypervigilant, her brothers aged 3 and 5, were playing abnormally aggressively, which I recognized as them renacting what they had seen and experienced at home. I know and recognized this pattern of behavior because I had a boy cousin on my Mom's side who is only 6 months older than me, and his dad was beating the shit out of him and my aunt, and when he would play with his friends and me, thats how HE PLAYED. (My parents thought it was the Ritalin, we didn't find out about the abuse till decades later.) But the point is those kids sensed that I was a Safe Person and thats what got my patient to trust me. Because her kids instictually trusted me and by the end of the session, the eldest was no longer hypervigilant, her boys had calmed down and were playing nice, the younger girls aged 6 and 4 were happy and content to play on their tablet. And by the end of the session, the toddler, who was only 18 months old, she- finally came out from under the table and wanted to be held by me.

So recognizing all of these signs and symptoms and behaviors of abuse in children made me ill and the moment that session was over, I went to the Clinic Director, who in her 15+ years of being that, I was her THIRD ever student to pick up on it, and the other two were third semester, I was her first-first semester student to pick up on it. And she had me write down EVERYTHING. Every behavior, every sign and sense that I could identify.

My third session with this patient, from down a 30 foot hallway I could immediately tell something was VERY, VERY WRONG, I practically speed walked/ran down that hallway to get to her and got her into the room and she was wearing her hair like a curtain around her face, it was to hide that she was beaten to a pulp, thankfully the baby was still alive in utero, I know, because the moment I pushed her hair back, my hands went straight to her belly to check for signs of life in the baby and then to the bathroom to makesure she wasn't actively miscarrying. That's when she confided in me that her husband was not only beating her and abusing her in WAY TOO MANY WAYS, but used her mini van's Onstar, her phone, the kids tablets and electronics to track them to EVERY. SINGLE. SHELTER IN THREE COUNTIES in Dayton, OH. And he was so violent and aggressive in getting "his family back" that those shelters told her "never come back here, he'll kill all of us if you do."

He had pulled out a gun the night before and set out a bullet for her and each of her kids and put them in a row and THATS what FINALLY got the message into her head that HE WAS GOING TO KILL HER AND HER KIDS. I was the only one at that point she knew she could trust so she came to me.

And lucky for her, before I had my daughter, I was a receptionist for a foundation that managed income based housing and the women's shelter in my county and I still knew that address by heart, and before that? I worked at McDonald's and my county Sherrif's Department was 2 minutes away from that McDonald's and I knew the Sherrif and every single one of his deputies and every cop and every K9 dig BY NAME (and order) and they knew me too. So, I gave her a basic list of "go bag preparedness list" and I told her to get all of her kids out of school and sitters and daycare and whatever, go home take ABSOLUTELY NO LONGER THAN 20 MINUTES, to get as much on that list as possible, grab all tje electonics and to come back to the clinic and I would take her and her kids to the one place I knew he would never think to look for them. She left, I pulled my Clinic Director and told her what I was doing and what my plan was as I rushed to fill the vending machine with all the cash I had to "exchange" snacks and pop and stuff for those electronics when they would come back. And the Clinic Director wad exceedingly proud of me for being brave ebpugh to step in and step up and agreed to the plan, she would keep the electronics with her, I would call in the biggest favor ever on the Sherrif's Department. Who, when I called, I immediately was relieved to recognize the voice and remind them of who I was and quickly explained the situation and begged if they knew how to disable Onstar (they did) and they told me that they would meet me there and even if she didnt press charges, I had more than enough to press charges myself which I TOTALLY DID.

She came back, I used a pen as pretmeded it was a magic electronic finder wand and got the eldest daughter in on "the game" of "we're going on a new adventure but tje one thing you can't take with you is the electronics. I traded my tablet for theirs and just gave it to them, and exchanged the electronics for snacks, which the eldest daughter cried and hugged me as tight as she could. Because SHE was terrified that her dad was gonna kill her and all her younger siblings. We did the trade, I went out to the minivan, disabled the onstar and got them repacked up and had them follow me the 50 minutes to the next county over's women's shleter. And we made it. And THANK GOD SHE FINALLY pressed charges and SO DID I, I had 4, FOUR Deputies meet me there and then they helped me practically throw the book at this motherfucking monster. And I copied them down because I still had to go back and file a report with THAT counties Sherrif's Department, which, they were waiting at the Clinic for me.

Because we weren't gone 20 minutes before that monster came screming and cussing and DEMANDED to know 'where his family was' and showed how jenhad tracked the electronics to the clinic. The Clinic Director chose the safety of the other students and their patients and with help from some 6'7" BIG GUYS in my class, got the guy out of there and locked him out and called the cops but he left before they could arrive.

What that Real Monster did in retaliation? He murdered, and dimembered ALL OF THE FAMILY PETS that didnt have room in the minivan to save. And he put the pieces of their corpses into his own kid's beds. What kind of sick motherfucker puts a half of a dead puppy in his toddler's crib?! THIS SICK MOTHERFUCKER.

And guess what, because he was so hell bent on hurting his own family as much as he could without actually putting his hands on them, that meant he was at home when the cops came to arrest his ass and then got the animal cruelty and abuse charges on top of that.

He was already headed to prison by the time I got back to the Clinic.

And thats when the Clinic Director and my Massage Teacher had to sit me down, had me write EVERYTHING down and then, because of the delicate situation, had to basically swear me to secrecy until I woupd give my testimony in court. I could not tell a single soul. Couldn't tell my husband. Couldn't tell anyone.

But good news, that sick motherfucker didnt last 48 hours in prison, because the guards Very Loudly practically ANNOUNCED WHY he was in there. He got stabbed to death by the other inmates so it never went to court. But HIPPA meant I STILL couldnt tell anyone until now.

So, in 2019, my Massage Teacher and My Clinic Director went halvsies for me to get a special course, because treating Victims Of Abuse is its own special "modality" or specialty for LMTs in Ohio. I aced the course. There are over 2 dozen types of abuse and they are under many "umbrellas" which is the relationship between the Abuser and Abused. You can have all 25+ under one umbrella. And to learn that all of these things that I had always seen and recognized HAD NAMES, had ACTUAL MEDICAL TERMINOLOGY. To Finally Realize I had been seeing the same patterns OVER AND OVER AND OVER. And my subconscious brain RECOGNIZED THEM but my concious brain, didn't know how to articulate WHAT I was seeing and WHY I could see it. Its like a neon sign thats always been in a window getting turned on. It was always there but off, but it was one of those things that once it TURNS ON THERE IS NO WAY TO EVER TURN IT OFF AGAIN. That Once you SEE IT You can NEVER UNSEE IT.

Its as much of a curse as it is a blessing. In five years, Ive had over 50 pitbull mixes named Chelsea, named after me. Because I've saved over 50 patients and their kids. But you do not want to know the number of the patients and how many children have died because their mothers chose their abusers over their own children. To the point that they've lost their lives. And the heartbreak of nit having a patient show up for their appointment only to see that they were a victim in a murder homicide on the 6 o clock news. Was too heavy of a burden for me to bear.

And then Covid Came. And changed everything forever.

And then Febuary of 2024 came and Sister number 2 is showing me signs that she had been raped. And had a metaphorical gun to her head because her rapist (sister number 3's soon to be ex husbad) held her at gunpoint. But swore me to secrecy to never tell anyone because she was still in mortal danger. And still is to this day.

And then in July of 2024, Sister number 3, is showing me all the signs and symptoms that her life is in danger too (same bastard).

And worst of all? This Bastard had THE AUDACITY to actually threaten to kill me IN FRONT OF A COP, IN FRONT OF A SHERRIF'S DEPUTY but because he said it "as a joke" in front of his friends, as myself and my husband are moving her out of this bastard's house, IT GOT LAUGHED OFF AND DISMISSED AND THE SMUG GRIN ON THIS MOTHERFUCKER'S FACE. I knew he was baiting me. And as FURIOUS as I was, I refused to take the bait BUT YOU CAN BET YOUR ASS I took ABSOLUTE DELIGHT IN REPORTING THAT SUCK FUCK. Becsuse guess what? Once I graduated? My Student Federal Reporter Number became a Federal Provider Indicator Number used for several things. And the Federal Government has jurisdiction over every state and territory in the USA.

And then in October, my Godfather died.

In December of 2024,my baby sister, Sister #4 got into an accident and had HUGE blood clots as long as my forearms in her lower legs. The stress made me clench my jaw so tight thT nigjt, I broke a molar.

Then in January 19th of 2025, I had a stroke and a brain aneurysm. But I just thpught it was my broken molar + worst migraine + panic attack, which I have had before. But nope. 14 hours later, Ive maxxed out on my meds and no relief? Went to the ER, found out I was 13 hours too late to save a portion of the front left lobe of my brain. And the brain aneurysm did a hard reboot on my brain to the point that all the meds that I have oh so carefully balanced to keep me sane and functional? My brain basically had pharma amnesia and went "New Phone Who Dis?" to ALLLL of my 12+ meds and then BLOCKED THEM. My house of cards fell down and now I have to rebuild it but I'm not allowed to use the same cards.

Beginning of February 2025, in trying to rebuild. I get Seritonin Toxicity, near fatally.

To put into perspective of how RARE that is, for my daughter's Psychiatrist? In her 15 year career, she had only ever HEARD of 2 cases, I was her first in person meeting with A SURVIVOR. My Psychatrist? It's been over a decade since her last case and it was fatal and it was 18 years before that- that was her first one. I'm her third. And I'm her first case to SURVIVE.

Not only is it Super Rare but, usually Super Lethal and its not found until the autopsy.

But now that Ive had it and survived it? Means Im SUPER SUSCEPTIBLE to it from now on.

And it means that the only option for me now? Are antipsychotics. Because between my Anxiety Disorder, called Conversion Disorder, my Complex PTSD, BPD, Bipolar Personality Disorder, and Depression and Suicide. Its the only option left.

Because what happened to me at 4? How I survived that was I created a seperate reality to escape into during those horrible moments that I can no longer remember but it laid the foundation for my disassociating now. It laid the foundation for me doubting the valifidity of my reality now. And all these worlds I have created and expanded and layered. I have also built a mental wall between them and my real reality.

You want to know HOW I know that THIS Reality is The Real Reality? Because in all the others, those worlds really do revolve around me and I am ALWAYS in Complete Control of Everything and Everyone in them. In the Real Reality? I have no control and the world has NEVER revolved around me.

And I'm scared. Im terrified. That either the door to those other worlds will disappear. Or, the wall itself will disappear and I won't be able to tell what is real or not anymore.

All while my Conversion Dosorder turns my body into that of a quadriplegic at the same time.

So no. No, I'm not ok. I'm not alright. I've gotten lucky in surviving everything so far. I'm afraid my luck is about to run out completely.

[timpac-capstone]

Spring Update 2: Revised Animatic and Animation has Started.

After showing the initial animatic at a critique and to a couple of friends and professors, the common consensus was that it dragged on too long. This is the third version of the animatic, the second version had the montage scene replaced with a 3-hours-later card, and the golden tape scene was removed. From the critique a lot of people didn't get the golden tape scene, what I intended with it was that people would project their own worst memory into it instead of me trying to make it my worst memory, which is the marco polo game in the script. They also thought I should get rid of the montage scene which I personally liked but I tried it out just to see how things worked out. It still seemed a bit choppy and dragged on until I emailed the first draft to last semester's capstone professor and she had a lot of critiques about the basketball scene. That's when a lightbulb went off in my mind, "What if instead of trying to fix it I just remove it". And oh my god the animatic worked so much better and thank god because that scene had a lot of moving parts and complicated backgrounds that I didn't even know if it would be possible to animate at my skill level. Don't get me wrong it did hurt a little to delete a week's worth of work but that's how it is when producing an animation.

Highly recommend reading this book for your observational research during the fall semester. I was an idiot and started reading it in the spring so I barely got halfway through it before I had to start the actual animation process but what I did read was very useful. The main reason why I didn't read it beforehand was because I hate reading books, I feel that video tutorials are way more efficient and easy to understand than reading 400 pages but this book has a lot of pictures and the author's personality really shines through which makes it fun to read. However, you should be highlighting and writing notes on the side of the pages rather than just reading the pages. The more active you are in your research the more you will retain.

Also as the page from the book suggests you should record/time actions you want to animate by performing them yourself. I was really struggling with the last scene where Dillon goes back to bed. By recording myself I was able to see so many small details of my arm and leg placement as I changed positions. I tried this a couple of times with my first attempt being very slow and in this version, I did it a lot faster.

Similar to how my first animation test for the animatic was the walk cycle for Brain Cell 2, so was my Toon Boom Harmony test. I thought this would be the perfect thing to work on first cause this walk cycle requires a lot of different aspects of digital and traditional animation to make it happen and then once I know where everything is I can try and master it by working on the simpler cuts.

First, and probably simplest, is how do I even draw on this thing. I was having a lot of problems with Toon Boom in the beginning because it didn't like the size of my laptop's monitor so I checked out one of the monitors from the Fablab. I then set up my own animation station in the back of the bunker. This was a bit of an annoying aspect working with Toon Boom because if I had some downtime throughout the day, especially at the Fablab, I couldn't work on it because my screen wasn't acceptable and I needed space for the tablet. At the very least what this setup did for me, psychologically, I had a place where I could associate my stress with instead of keeping everything in my room. Until my other roommate let me borrow a monitor he wasn't using, then most of the animating I did at home cause I like having a place with sunlight.

From animating this one walk cycle I learned how to draw, color, make new frames for a layer, create symbols for the eyes and mouth which is useful for when characters are talking, how to insert spines/rigs into certain body parts or drawn pieces such as the legs so that I don't have to draw them frame by frame, how to rotate, resize, and move a drawing using pegs, and how to parent objects. Sometimes I would also get happy accidents such as the legs moving a bit before the body, this goes to a classic principle in animation which is anticipation. I was also really happy with how I was closely able to match the timing of the animation to the animatic, the bag still feels like it has a heavy weight to it.

I would also keep a notebook next to me and write down anything new I would learn so that I was more actively researching when clicking through Toon Boom tutorials on YouTube.

Once the walk cycle was finished and I was happy with how it looked I split up the animatic into 9 different scenes and then tried fully animating Scene 2 since that and Scene 6 is where that specific walk appears. However, that proved to be quite difficult because of how many different camera angles are in Scene 2, such as close-up shots of Bran Cell 1 on the couch, wide shots of Bran Cell 1 & 2, and then that one still with the door. There were simply too many moving parts to animate this on one file so then I thought "What if I split them even further to the cuts that make up each scene".

Now it's difficult to constitute what is considered the ending of a scene but I personally considered a scene done whenever there was a huge change in setting/background or if it felt like there was a new topic being discussed. So scene 1 is Dillon going to bed so we are in and rotating about his bedroom but once we enter inside his brain I call that scene 2 because the backgrounds are completely different for a good length of time. Then when Brain Cell 2 inserts the tape into the VHS player I called that scene 3 since they are not trying to figure out what the VHS tapes might be or how they work anymore but instead the focus is shifted toward the presentation memory even though they are still in the brain room and 2 cuts are in Dillon's bedroom. Some scenes like scene 5 flip back and forth between the brain room and the bedroom and quite honestly scene 6, which is the one where they drag in the new bag and ends when Cell 2 reaches in for another tape, could be argued to be a part of scene 5, especially since scene 3 has both the Brain room and Dillon's bedroom, but you really have to go off your personal feelings as to what will help you best in breaking down your animatic to simple parts.

Unlike scenes, cuts are very easy to define. A cut is whenever the camera angle of the scene is moved. If you think of it in a live-action sense if I wanted to get a different camera angle of my actors I would yell "CUT" and they would take a break while I set up my camera in a new position. Some scenes, like scenes 1 and 6, had only 2 cuts while scene 2 had 20 cuts, in total Bedtime had 80 cuts which includes stills and repeat shots. This made it a lot easier to work out the math as to how much time I had left to make the animation and which scenes and cuts required more priority if I wanted to make a good finished product. Scene 4, which is the montage scene, could be cut out completely if I really was stressed for time while scene 2, the dragging of the first VHS tapes bag, was not easily avoidable since that created the whole setup of the plot.

This can take up a lot of space on your hard drive and it can get annoying to transfer the assets/layers from one Toon Boom file to another so I would combine the cuts that had the exact same camera angles to make life a bit easier for me. I'm not 100% sure this is how people in the industry organize their files but to some degree, they definitely have to do it this way. Remember that you have several teams of people working on an animated project and the way people get paid, at least in Japan, is by the amount of cuts you do per episode.

Now that everything was nicely organized and I knew that my goal was to reach 80 cuts before the beginning of April I had a feasible plan of action. From February 28th to April 8th, I had to do at the very least 2 cuts a day in order to have the animation part done before the day of the exhibition. Obviously, I wasn't just going to do 2 cuts a day because I would be working up to the wire and that's not factoring in the time it takes to make the backgrounds and sounds for the animation so I definitely hoped that during spring break I could do at least 4 a day or get the harder cuts out of the way. If I wasn't able to complete 2 cuts then at the very least I had to start working on 2 cuts and then hopefully the next day I could do 3 or 4 to make up for lost time. Also, it's best to break this up into smaller pieces as well, so instead of "I need to finish 80 cuts as fast as possible" I would say to myself "I need to finish 14 cuts this week as fast as possible" which is why there is a number on the side with how many cuts I still had left to do. This way I can give myself some leisure time or work on other aspects of the capstone or school work and not stress myself out because I still have 43 cuts left. And if I got ahead of schedule by finishing my 14 cuts I felt more motivated to keep working at a steady pace.

Originally I was going to hire somebody to do the backgrounds for me but I ended up doing them myself in Toon Boom because I couldn't really find anybody cheap and even if I did I wouldn't know how to describe what type of backgrounds I wanted cause I needed to do some on my own regardless. I needed 27 backgrounds maximum, some were reusable so it was probably close to 20 but even then that would be way too expensive to make somebody else do for me so might as well do them all myself. That way they are all the same quality and I can save some money that can be allocated somewhere else such as voice actors. If you know some people who are good at digital painting and you have a good idea of what you want I would definitely suggest hiring someone to do the backgrounds. In the industry, everybody is a specialist in only one field, so one person does all the backgrounds while a different person makes the character designs and then a third person is the actual animator. But because Stevens' budget is so limiting for a project like this you have to really pick your battles.

Also highly recommend exporting your cuts as TIF Image Sequences and compositing them in After Effects, the one on the left is a TIF Sequence. When I export into a video format through Toon Boom the colors get a little bit whitewashed. This will however eat up a lot of your hard drive space especially since some cuts will need every layer to be its own separate image sequence. If it's just a still or a single stationary layer then just export it as one image and then extend it. If you're gonna go crazy with compositing in After Effects then you should definitely invest in an external hard drive to make life easier for yourself and it's just a good way to keep your capstone stuff out of harm's way, you never know what may happen to your laptop.

What I want you to take away from this specific post is that ORGANIZATION IS KEY TO A FINISHED ANIMATION. You cannot work on it every day for every second of the spring semester cause you'll get burned out like I did in April. If you can mathematically prove to yourself that you're in a good spot and can afford to give yourself breaks once in a while then your project will come out amazing. If you constantly keep yourself under stress then you'll start taking shortcuts where they don't need to be taken and your animation will suffer because of it.

[beingsupahbi]

Jess Watches // Sat 6 Apr // Day 192 Synopses & Favourite Scenes & Poll

Cat Person (2023) (with sister)

When Margot, a college sophomore, goes on a date with the older Robert, she finds that he doesn't live up to the Robert she has been flirting with over texts. A razor-sharp exploration of the horrors of dating.

Showing the subtle but very deliberate way in which women have to be on high alert when dating outside of our social circle. Margot being very much a people pleaser who gets in over her head with Robert, a much-too-old-for-her guy with a hero-complex. A more gripping watch than anticipated, with very clever social commentary, and thankfully no cats were harmed.

Moving (with L) Ep 16 The Man Between

With Mihyun's question, Ilhwan reminisces about his past.

I could tell from previous eps that Ilhwan wasn't like the other spies. He has grown to care for his students and has become protective of them. I hope he helps the parents to keep them safe. Also, did that girl really die? In this show it was a little suspicious.

One Piece 1x05 Eat at Baratie!

Luffy and the gang are tested in their ability to fight together on the high seas. They arrive at Baratie, a floating restaurant, where they encounter Sanji, a young chef with a love of fine dining. A duel on the docks shocks the group.

I'm Mihawk killing everyone in sight for waking me from my nap.

Killing Eve (Remix) [x] 3x04 A Rainbow in Beige Boots

Villanelle breaks into Eve's hotel room. Eve leaves to track down Hélène's car where she runs into a disgruntled ex-girlfriend of Hélène. Using Eve's tablet, Villanelle arranges a meeting with Eve's psychiatrist friend Martin and holds him hostage at his home, forcing him to give her therapy.

This was just 4x03 with some scenes edited out. It's 27 minutes and I couldn't tell you what the extra 15 minutes was. Can y'all remember the fandom reaction when Eve undressed infront of V and later had her arrested? Wild times.

[squelsh]

good morning, 2424. welcome to the world

it's weird how i treat taking my medications. at night, i take the white capsule with a green stripe. the triangle white tablet with a cut in the center. the huge colorless tablet vitamin, "for my immune system" (who am i even trying to impress with it?), water, the little blue pill i keep under my tongue. that's enough for me to take care of what's wrong with me without me needing to keep what they are in my mind. they don't have names, they don't do anything. i just treat myself to look at and sort colors like a crow trained to put the right shape of blocks in the right shape of hole.

it's not ignored to me; if someone asks, i can list off what i'm taking and how much. it is true that i take w, x, y, and z medications every day. it is true that the schwarzschild radius is a gross oversimplification of black hole formation. it is true that the sky is blue. these are just facts of reality. what do they have to do with me? the medications i take, and why i take them, aren't a part of me. they're just a part of the reality around me, which is the same identical reality surrounding you. my meds don't matter to you. it's the same reality. why should i care either if nothing between us changed? i can ignore what's wrong with me so long as i know it's real.

it's 14 minutes left of christmas here. my present was painful burning in my throat, but also my first experience with chest tenderness. it was in the house without any knives. i spent the last three days surrounded by family. i didn't have a moment to myself even when i was asleep. i guess i am too weak, but i figured if there was something sharp nearby i could stab myself and go to the hospital. bad choice in the long run, but i'd be able to have some time to myself, at least. i looked around in all of the drawers, but the furniture had only just moved in, so of course any cutlery wasn't there either. i just slumped down on the wall and cried.

two days later i got a nice flannel jacket, a cookbook, and that feynman memoir. i cried then too. it felt weird over the last 40 days seeing the family attitude around me change. "it feels like your entire life you were staggering in place, and you're only now moving forward." he doesn't know about that fourth medication i take every night. would he still think i'm moving forward anymore? but it got me some security, oh well. the meds are stored in a false-labeled box behind a false back in my locked filing cabinet.

that filing cabinet, and what's inside of it, is the only thing i think i own. my dad said that after my oldest sister moves out, he's not moving anyone else ever again. he's getting old. i phrased it like a joke, to hide the actual concern i was testing: "oh, looks like i'd better move out soon before she does so i can get moving help while i can!"

"there wouldn't even be anything to move, i couldn't help you with anything in the first place"

the cat is so so large. she's not overweight, i've found; she really is just an impressively huge and thick cat. she loves me way too hard. i'm worried for when she moves out with my sister.

i'm eating a lot more. over winter, my parents stay home more often, so it's the only condition in which there's actually food around. i really want to gain weight, and i hope i keep whatever weight i gain this season. i've learned some good skills for food preservation and calorie maximization the past year as well. hopefully the next one should be easier thanks to that.

The model 2424 Analytical Nephelometer is a special adaptation of the Hach 2100A Laboratory Turbidmeter designed to minimize the effects of color interferences in turbidity measurement.

[now-we-say-c0ral]

October 13, 2023

I'm saying this the most polite way I know but I am so happy that we're finally going home after being here at Jai's place since Sunday. We could have stayed here much longer but considering my sickness which I think is most probably Covid, I don't think it's better to be here and I think they're just too shy to tell me to go home since I'm with Ed.

Woke up around 8am today. Feeling better thanks to those flu tablets we bought yesterday from Aldi. It's been doing me wonders. I was feeling better but just took two pills just for caution. Jai made us some sopas which I really appreciate. I booked us an Uber and she sent us off. I'm relieved to be going home today. I just want to be in my own space. They're quite the nice couple. They seem like the type that has everything planned out. I aim to get to that stage with Ed.

We got to Chester Railway Station and it we had to change at Crewe and get the rail to Euston, London. It was a fairly uneventful journey. I loved seeing horses, sheep, and cows on our merry way home. I listened to Nurse John's podcast on Spotify and it made me cry. Nurses really are the most selfless people out there. As much as I kind of find purpose whenever I do good, my mental health has never been in good when I was still in the ward. I'd trade my peace for anything. We arrived around 2pm here in the house and I was so relieved. I cycled to the gym and did some chest, abs, and cardio. I weighed myself and I'm fucking 64kg. I have to do some major changes right now. I have a beach to go to on my birthday and I will not allow myself to not have shirtless pictures. I got some bean sprouts and beef in Morrisons and I also got a Covid test kit.

I arrived home and got Ed and me tested. I have Covid and Ed doesn't but I would assume that he would be having it sooner or later. I cooked some vegetables and had it with some couscous and a protein shake. Showered afterwards. Arranged my wardrobe for the winter season and gave some of the clothes I didn't want anymore to Ed so he can send them back home.

Watched the latest episode of JJK then just played some Pokemon Unite. Ed's folding our clothes while I'm just here being awee aw aw.