#will keep this in mind when i get into my profession
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feelingdozy · 1 day ago
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NIGHT ESCAPADE - Johnny Storm
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Summary: Thinking Johnny's left you for his usual weird activities in the middle of the night, you wake to a soft sight before you of him and his nephew instead, and suddenly you're giving in.
Warnings: tooth-rotting fluff, established relationship, domestic johnny, kissing, johnny professing his love again, reassurance etc, franklin steals the show
w/c: 1.0k ・ a03 ・ prompt list ・ dividers
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Johnny made a habit of sneaking around at ungodly times of the evening.
Whether it be a snack, or something to keep him at ease like turning on the television and watching a show, you'd wake up unpleasantly cold and the other side of the bed lonely.
You patted the mattress just to make sure, slowly rising from the bed as you stomped around the compound, looking for your boyfriend in his late adventures and random inquiries for things he definitely did not need at the moment.
Except this time- this time wasn't what you expected. He wasn't in the kitchen, living room, nor on the balcony.
He was cradling Franklin while exiting from Sue and Reed's shared room, cooing while rubbing his cheek with his, mumbling don't cry's, your favorite uncle's here now.
Your heart almost exploded. The sight stunned you so much so that you were very, very awake now. And very intent on watching the scene unfold in front of you.
Franklin's little fist was gripping onto a strand of Johnny's hair, giggling as he rocked him up and down while spinning slowly. He made little woosh noises like he was flying, gently raising his hands up and down to simulate it.
When he made the full 360, he met your eyes and immediately stood straight, stopping in his tracks with Franklin following, also just noticing your presence.
"Hey..! Baaabbe.." unsure of how you'd react to him being up so late while also bothering the baby had beads of sweat already collecting on his forehead, trying to sweetly call your nickname like a persuasion into no lectures this time around.
Instead of a stern tone or a mocking phrase, you had simply replied with "You're insane, you know that?" Light and airy.
That stunned him even more- disbelief covered his features as you took a few strides towards him, disheveled appearance not sparing you any mind while you ran a finger through his soft locks, then cupped his head as you pressed a kiss to his cheek, then one to match on Franklin.
His ears immediately flushed, and he malfunctioned as you giggled.
"You're so cute- and lucky. Very lucky."
"wait" he whines, reaching for your wrist as he adjusts Franklin to a better position over his hip.
He pouts as he says it, "Proper kiss?" And perks his lips dramatically into a kissy face.
You huff out a laugh before your hand splays across his shoulder, finding yourself gently molding against him, smile wide and cheeky as his free hand cradles your neck to deepen it.
You slap his chest at that, "Johnny! The baby"
"He's doin' okay!" And almost on cue, Franklin starts to babble and cutely claps his hands, making Johnny swell with pride and both a satisfactory tendency to prove himself right.
"See?" He comments lowly, like saying I told you so in his own manner.
"Now, how are we gonna get the little one back to bed now that you've woken him up with all your sweetness and kisses, hmm?" He retorts,
"Bottle! On it ma'am" and you struggle not to let out a laugh as he almost trips down a step on the way to the kitchen to warm one up with Franklin still in hand.
"Here, pass em" you're doing grabby hands towards him when he lifts Franklin obediently over to you, letting you kiss his cheek before you follow in his footsteps by cooing in the baby's ear and poking at his sides.
You take a seat on the couch to wait as it heats up, both fatigue and sudden exhaustion creeping slowly into you.
"Such a cute little one, aren't ya?" His tiny fingers are grasping for your cheek, one attempting to hang on and feel the skin while the other stays by his side in rebellion.
"My wife" you hear whispered from behind you, and you whip your head around to see johnny peaking over your shoulder at the sight of you and Franklin playing.
"W-what?" Franklins fussing a bit, so you have him in your hands while he jumps around to get his energy out, Johnny filing himself around the couch and maneuvering to sit next to you and hand the baby the bottle.
"seeing you like this.. it makes me- makes me feel it. Like everything's perfect, and you love them, love him just as much as I do. And that counts as a lot" is he sniffling? He's terrible at hiding the tears that threaten to drop at the soft sight, it always clenches his heart.
To see you, connect immediately and so earnestly while around his family that now they're basically yours too, and all of it is his to cherish. How you clasp his hand back, clammy or not and you hold it in yours as long as you can.
You help around the house even when he tells you that you don't have to, yet you persist because you don't want to be the only one doing nothing.
He's in deep, and what he's seeing right now is the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life growing old with.
"I feel like I don't tell you how beautiful you are." He says, almost smitten like it's a hidden confession he's waited off on.
"Johnny.." you mumble at his words.
"I love you, you know that right? I'd never trade it for the world" as he says that, you're already leaning in for a hug against his lean chest, met with the sturdiness of both him and his scent, feelings and all out in the open for you to know.
"I love you too, even when Franklin's chewing on my finger like it's his teething toy" he huffs out a laugh that cascades more tears down his cheeks, but it's okay, because he's happy- he's happy that you're happy, and Franklin's happy.
He's happy here, with you, sleepless nights where you put up with him obnoxiously and others where he sleeps like he's the baby.
And when Sue, Reed and Ben find the three of you cuddled up on the couch with Franklin coddled and protected safely in between the two of you like his own personal shield while a blanket rests on top, they all smile with knowing.
Because they're happy too.
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thank you for reading :) requests are open! || Marvel Masterlist
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caramelluxe · 3 days ago
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𐙚⋆°。⋆♡ would things be easier if there was a right way? (honey, there is no right way)
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── ♡ ˙🍓 ̟ !!
Or, 5 times Nanami couldn’t find his things, and the 1 time he didn’t need to
˚₊‧꒰ა Part 1 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
⋆˚꩜。 wc: 2.5k
⋆˚꩜。 warnings: none, just tooth rotting fluff, I may have went pretty unsatisfactory with the conversation pls spare me this is literally my first ever character x reader fic
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1. His Glasses
Peaceful mornings like these were a rare luxury that even the privileged weekends didn’t have the riches to purchase. So, Kento cherished these quiet dawns covetously, lest they slip from the crevices marred by overtime work and your unpredictable schedule at work.
He sighed, a calm exhale, blearily blinking at the sunlight wafting in the bedroom, presenting a muted glow through the maroon curtains in front of the window.
Speaking of… said maroon curtains were an impulsive purchase — one that he didn’t normally indulge in, a careless whim of his that he didn’t put much thought to, before adding the fabric to his cart — what with his thoughts already being influenced by you.
You had sent him a text that day — something about an emergency surgery that would keep you away from home for longer than either of you had anticipated — while he was browsing in the Home Furnishing aisle, looking through curtains to decorate your shared bedroom (the previous curtain had been in a sad accident, leading to its decimation). No sooner had your name popped on his screen, his mind wandered to you, and then there was no stopping. Awe and resignation flooded in. Awe for your dedication to your profession and your patients; resignation for another loss of precious few hours that he could’ve spent in your company.
He thumbed mindlessly among rows of fabric, cloth that held no meaning now that his mind was clouded with dejection.
Lace, polyester, muslin, brocade, velvet, all looked dull — just like his evening would be, without you — despite the vibrancy in their colour. Until —
Until he stopped short.
The fabric was voile, of mixed sorts. But the colour— oh. The colour.
Wine, bordering on maroon; if the material were lustrous and packed in a glass jar, it would appear like one of the sweetest beverages, that’s how stunning it was. He knew at once that you’d have picked it up and placed it in your cart with no spare thought, and Kento? Kento was not a better man because he did just that.
He had tugged the fabric from its restraints and deposited it into his cart, a small smile on his face.
It was your favourite colour.
Maybe that’s not what he would’ve done if you hadn’t been on his mind when he was picking between choices, but heavens, is he glad he did. Because now, when the very same curtains block the morning sunlight, it instead decorates your skin — of what of it is usually visible from under the blanket — in a rosy hue; the softest blush that would only disappear when the curtains are drawn and sunlight will pour to glide over you, personifying you into divinity that considers him worthy enough to share his — a mere devotee — holy ground.
Kento takes a deep breath, willing every scent that is even just barely reminiscent of you into his lungs, committing his alveoli into memorising the exact composition of you. Just you.
He presses a kiss to your hair, careful not to jostle and wake you up. After all, sleep was a rare luxury — for you, that is — because among department postings, impromptu surgery scrub ins, late-night OPD attendances and night duties, you barely had time to maintain a semblance of a healthy sleep schedule.
He shifts, subtly checking the time. Considering the sum was up and the sunlight would be positively blinding if he drew the curtains, it had to be time to get up and start his day. He picks up his phone kept on the night stand to check the time.
6:58
Just in time. He snoozes his alarm before it can ring and wake you up. Shuffling as little as possible, he slides past the covers, lifting his hands from your waist very gently and noiselessly.
He had to be at work by ten, as much as he hated to accept that, for he wanted to do nothing more than to take a day off, call in sick or anything for that matter that would let him stay. However, that would be uncharacteristic of him, especially when matters were getting so serious among Sorcerers, plus there was a meeting scheduled, Ijichi had informed him just last night, and appearing in it was compulsory.
Sighing, he stalks towards the kitchen, the least he could do was get you a filling breakfast and a packed, homemade lunch. He wasn’t going to trust cafeteria lunch after what happened last time.
His soft padding to the kitchen wakes up your dogs. Well, they were less of your dogs, and more of their dogs now, what with how even the vet now knew his name (“Nanami Kento…? For Toothless and Oscar?”), and not just a substitute for you.
“Good Morning, Toothless,” he barely resisted cooing at Toothless’ wide eyes. He’ll admit that the name rubbed off on him eventually (that, and the resemblance was uncanny). Toothless was a baby black Labrador, rescued from the side of a road, in shabby conditions and shivering. You and him had searched far and wide to rescue the family, but after a long search, it was concluded that Toothless possibly was the last of his litter, left injured after a possible unfortunate incident. He had completed his vaccinations and adoption procedures only a month ago, as a result, he was still tiny, but you two knew that Toothless would grow, he’d grow bigger than even your first dog, Oscar, a cream German Spitz.
Kento picked both the puppies (let him live in delusion for a while, they’d never stop being puppies for him) and placed them on the island. Oscar butted his hand, the one that was rubbing his fur, as if reprimanding him for missing his greeting. Kento chuckled, “Good Morning to you too, Oscar. Did you sleep well?”
Their excited wags were an answer enough.
With practised ease, he added spoonfuls of ground coffee to the French Press, before adding hot water, setting aside milk to steam for you to add in your coffee. On the side, he set up two feeding bowls for Oscar and Toothless. Toothless was still on a softer diet, so something more gentle for his stomach.
An hour later, when the breakfast was ready, bentos were packed and your two kids (puppies, kids, semantics) were fed, Kento felt calm. The idea that you were sleeping soundly and he only needed to get ready for work, wake you up with warmth and tenderness before leaving, brought him comfort like nothing else. Yes, it would’ve gone better had he stayed, but this was good too. You two had a routine, a dance to a song that only the two of you knew the rhythm to, odd to others, but devoted among you two, and he was happy with that.
His shower doesn’t take long, the routine is second nature to him by now, nor does putting on his work clothes meticulously, does.
Suspenders? Check.
Tie? Check.
Knife? Check.
Watch? Check.
All that was left were his shades and waking you up, after all, it wouldn’t do well for him to leave for work without greeting his beloved lover a lovely morning, would it?
Kento checked the drawer where he kept his watches, twice. His shades were not there. Which was odd because that was the designated place for them.
He checked the laundry room this time, sifting through the pile of clothes he had discarded yesterday, maybe it was in his pocket and he had forgotten to take it out..?
He checked once, then again, and then a third time for good measure, but nope. It wasn’t to be found in any of his pockets or a crevice in the basket.
This wasn’t good. His glasses weren’t much of a need like Satoru needed his blindfold, nor was it for aesthetics, he just preferred to keep them in case a curse caught by and he had to exorcise one. Curses hated being spotted, and they only got more violent when they realised that they had been spotted.
In a dilemma, Kento stood silently. He had two options: he could wake you up and ask if you knew, or he could ring to work and ask Ijichi to check if he had left it at work. He would much rather do the latter, for he didn’t want to wake you up for something as mundane as misplaced glasses.
Mind made, Kento walked up to the office you two shared, not because there weren’t enough rooms, but mostly because the overlapping presence put both of you at ease. Where one side — yours — had floor-to-ceiling shelves, packed with a plethora of books, mostly for your studies, accumulated throughout your bachelor's and master's, medicine, surgery, electives you had been confused between, all packed in a neat chaos on hardwood shelves, a modest and cosy study space, lit with floor lamps and fairy lights. His side was blander (you preferred to call it corporate. Kento lets you), an office desk was placed beside the wall, a couple of bookshelves — they obviously were nothing in comparison to your bookshelves — with files and mission reports filed in neat stacks. The only few homely things on his side of the room were photo frames spanning the duration of your relationship, mostly of you and Oscar, Toothless being a recent addition. In the few pictures in which Kento did appear, he looked almost bashful, ever the camera-shy individual.
He moved towards his desk, hand hovering over the drawer to pick out his work phone to make the call, but he stopped short —
His glasses were there, but not on his desk. They were on yours. Your prescription glasses lay partially unclosed, above which were perched his shades.
It was then, when he went through how last night proceeded, something he should’ve done at least fifteen minutes earlier.
He remembered it, he had come home from work last night, shoulders drooping, overtime always sucked the soul out of him, especially when curses were as pesky as this one. He had already loosened his tie before he unlocked the door with his set of keys. He just hoped you were home.
The hazardous half life in his bone seeped back to rejuvenate him the moment he caught your sight, sprawled on the carpet, books open, sticky notes in use, pen scribbling notes from your annotated textbooks of surgery procedures. Oscar was sitting on your back, while Toothless served as the cutest paper weight for loose sheets that would fly had it not been his weight pressing them on the ground.
The door opening turned the attention of all his favourite people (and er— creatures?) to him, and never had he felt so glad at being smothered with attention. Your hands are around his waist, squeezing him in a devastatingly gentle embrace, and Oscar jumps up and down near his feet, his tail wagging, Toothless clings to the leg of his pants, and in that moment, Kento feels not just at home, but he feels like his skin that sometimes cuts, or blisters, one that he wears every time he’s out slicing and exorcising curses, that has slipped off to reveal something raw and tender, something aching, something bleeding in patches — one that could not be less similar to the wounds he wins in victories that don’t really feel like it — soothed only by when he’s in this moment. With you. With his family.
One thing had led to another, and soon he had been walking to your shared office, armour of the day’s work coming off one by one, and that is how he had let you take off his shades, press a searing kiss to his cheeks, before the two of you were heading to take a shower.
It had stayed like that all night, entwined with your glasses, fitting snugly to a puzzle Kento didn’t recall having solved, but perhaps his senses were more attuned to you unconsciously, a phantom attraction, giving in to your centre of gravity. A lump rose in his throat. This was ridiculous. A pair of mismatched glasses were not supposed to make him lose his mind, but then again, he hadn’t been much composed since you came around, did he?
You always did have a special skill to unravel him piece by piece, and he couldn’t help but let you do it, wielding love so tenderly, it almost felt dangerous to his jagged soul. Did he even deserve that gentleness?
On impulse — he seemed to be doing that a lot these days, wasn’t he? — he pulled out his phone, quickly snapping a picture of seemingly normal still life.
But Gods above. It was so much more than just that.
Perhaps this was love, domesticity. Extraordinarily beautifying the mundane.
No sooner had he picked up his glasses, and safely tucked yours in their rightful place on your desk, gentle footsteps grew louder.
He smiled. You were awake.
He turned around, and sure enough, you stood there, rubbing away the remnants of sleep from your eyes. Hair mussed from tossing and turning in your sleep, a yawn half on your lips, cotton shirt hanging off your shoulder, mismatched socks of mismatched sizes, you still looked like Aphrodite had taken time carving each individual feature with care and thought. Like each bump and contour told a story, piece by piece, mystery carved in the bridge of your nose, a tragedy on the birthmarks that your skin was etched with.
You were stunning, and he would go forever with the unanswered question of just how he could ever exist beside you and not feel like he was living in a fantasy.
“Mornin’ Kento.” You smiled sleepily, wrapping an arm around his torso, where he wasted no time and wrapping his own around yours, placing kisses on your face, soft, gentle, and devoted, just like you deserved.
“Good morning, my love. Did you sleep well?” He had half an idea what your answer would be.
You hummed, nuzzling his neck, “Would’ve been better had you been there when I woke up, I think.” Bingo.
“You think?”
“Yeah.” Your grin was mischievous, “Like, 12% better.”
Kento pretended to be aghast, though it came out dryly, “Well, we can’t have that, can we?” He pressed another kiss to your forehead, “I’ll be sure to make it up to you tonight, darling.”
Your reply was honest, marred with a sigh, “I might just need it, sweetie, two surgeries back to back.”
“What was it? Hysterectomy..?”
You nodded, “A hysterectomy, and a craniotomy. The hysterectomy won’t be too difficult, the patient doesn’t have any history of complications, and most of us have pitched in this procedure multiple times before. The craniotomy however…” your shoulder dropped with an exhale, and he drew small circles on the back of your neck, “That is going to be complicated. And long. Not to mention who my attending chooses to perform the actual surgery is a lot to take in.”
“I hope everything goes well, darling. Keep yourself hydrated during work, okay? You can always call me if you feel overwhelmed.”
You laughed softly, “Always prepared, aren’t you?”
“For my love? Always.”
The corner of your eyes crinkled with the grin, and if he could paint, they’d be hues of golden and maroons, bright and passionate, “You’re such a sap.”
He pressed a final kiss to your hair, “For you, darling, I’d be anything. You only ever have to ask.”
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yoonyia · 1 year ago
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accidently instilled a god complex into someone
woopsies
my therapy is failing
#this is a joke#i told them that other people are intimidated the way mortals are intimidated to angels as a hyperbole#they knew it was a hyperbole but it did make for some funny jokes#they also said that its weird that a student is doing a theraphy thing#that usually when its a theraphy they get into this own world of theirs and the therapist feels like this sub human person#you pour your heart into#but not really a friend#or even a person#they used the world subhuman and above society type of people and i feel thats interesting#and i know that thats a feeling a lot of my other friends have to their therapist#that half the job is trying to get them to listen to you like youre a person#and theyre more of an obstacle they try and over come for support rather then a person they feel comforted and secure with#and i do acknowledge that good therapist probably treat their clients like people and not traumatized characters#but i can see how after like 4 people in a row you start seeing them as just sadness oozing blobs you need to help somehow#its an interesting thing about theraphy that i didnt think about till now tho so im glad they pointed out how this was weird for them#because i was weirded out when my teacher came to me and ripped out my worries and it was funny to me because he was right#and now i kinda see why#because a therapist isnt a person to the clients either sometimes#they help you with your problems that you sometimes forget theyre human and have issues too#interesting interesting#will keep this in mind when i get into my profession#definitely will avoid therapist
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jeonginsleftcheek · 10 months ago
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Dolly
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pairing: hyunjin x afab!reader
synopsis: you feel lonely and buy a new sex doll on the market, not knowing what you got yourself into.
genre: smut, fluff, sci-fi
word count: 10.3k
warnings: alcohol, multiple sex scenes, unprotected sex, oral (f and m), squirting, creampies
a/n: spooktober continues🤭🫶🏻 if u love black mirror, these are vibes for u! also i'm sorry if the ending seems rushed but i have two more things to write for hyunjin before i continue with my spooktober🫠
!!! this fic has an ambiguous ending
~ divider by @bunnysrph
~ Masterlist
~ Dolly masterlist
Your cursor hovers over the 'continue to payment' button.
Are you really doing this?
It's embarassing enough that you can't get a date lately, and everyone around you keeps bugging you about it, asking when you're going to find a partner already.
Like you need one. You were perfectly fine alone.
But everyone has needs, and the ad for the new sex dolls that have just come out on the market looked enticing.
Each one of the new models was a unique one, only one of them made as it was sort of a trial run for them and your attention was captured by Hyunjin, the romantic doll.
It was expensive too, but you had money saved up on the side and thought, why not get something for your pleasure and try something new as well.
'Fuck it!', you thought and clicked on the button, purchasing the doll; there was no going back now.
Eagerly, you awaited the day it would be delivered to your door and three weeks later, there was a big box in the middle of your living room.
Biting on your lip, you stare at the box as your heartbeat quickens.
In the pictures, it looked so real. Like it was a real human being and to say you were a bit disturbed was an understatement.
But as freaky as it was, you were still so curios about it so you opened up the box slowly, your eyes wide for the peculiarity of it all. There were covers neatly placed over the doll, and bubble wrap just about everywhere, but on top of it all was a letter.
You opened it up and it read;
Hello,
my name is Hyunjin and I am your romantic doll.
I love art, good food and wine, long walks on the beach and heartwarming movies.
Please, treat me with great care as I am sensitive, and no matter what you do with me, always end it with cuddles.
Hope you come to love me as much as I already love you.
As you read that, you couldn't help being a little freaked out by the doll professing his love to you, but you had to remind yourself it's just the creators of it who wrote the letter, making the concept more real and human to give some kind of comfort to the buyer and personality to the doll.
Taking a deep breath, you remove all the bubble wrap and slide off the cover.
"Oh." you gasp loudly, your hand slapped on your mouth as you finally see the doll.
He looks too real to be just a doll and for a second you just stare into his eyes, unmoving but somehow warm, his facial features chiseled to perfection, his lips plump and inviting.
Your eyes travel down to see he was dressed in a nice button up, intricate flower patterns sewn into the material, coupled with nice pants and even some very expensive looking shoes.
The doll had jewelry on, his nails were painted, there was so much detail on it; he even had a mole under his eye. You marvelled at the dedication of the people who made it and obviously put a lot of though into Hyunjin.
You notice then that there is a note sticking out of the shirt's pocket and you carefully pick it up.
My love!
I got dressed for our first date!
Hopefully you like it and enjoy our first romantic night together.
"Wow, they really went all out with this." you say out loud as you look at the doll, the next question forming in your mind.
How heavy is the doll?
You spend a few more minutes just examining it with your eyes, too nervous to touch it and you can't get over the way it looks just like a real human being.
You rest your hand on the box, your fingertips gently grazing the doll's cheek.
"Oh!" you gasp, retracting your hand. It feels like real skin and with wide eyes your hand moves closer to his face again, your palm pressing slowly against his cheek.
"Are you alive?" you chuckle to yourself but the doll doesn't answer or move at all, just as you expected.
Your fingers slowly explore the doll's face, his lips are plushy and they seem actually kissable, the material they used, whatever it was, made it seem like they were real human lips.
You lean in closer to take a better look into his eyes, your hand coming up to play with locks of dark hair, which again, seems like real hair, the little curls are soft to the touch and bounce back as you pull on them gently.
Now you're leaning so close to him, and you can smell the nice, comforting scent radiating off of the doll. You've no idea what they used, but he smells fresh and flowery.
"Okay, let's get you out of the box." you lean back and hook your hands under the doll's arms before making it sit up.
His head falls to the side a little, making you feel a bit creeped out because it really seemed like you were handling a dead person instead of an actual doll, but the only indication that it wasn't a dead human is the lightness of it.
He wasn't as light as a feather but he wasn't as heavy as dead weight either.
"Maybe the couch?" you talk to yourself as you look over to your comfy couch, the pillows fluffed up already and a soft blanket thrown over it.
Somehow, thankfully to your regular exercise, you manage to lift the doll into your arms and carry him to the couch.
The way he slumps when you put him down, again freaks you out a little, but for some weird reason you're even more interested in how you can actually use the doll.
You prop him to sit nicely and turn on the tv to some art channel, remembering how the doll 'said' that he likes art.
"I hope that's what you enjoy." you shrug and throw the fluffy blanket over the doll's legs, folding his soft hands into his lap, before you go back to the box to find the manual.
"Here it is." you dig out the booklet and start reading.
They listed the materials but you still had no idea what they were so it flew over your head. There was also a page with pictures of the other dolls and the makers' letter to the customers, thanking them for purchasing the doll.
Flipping the pages, you find what you were looking for.
Your face becomes red as you read the doll's 'abilites', including that his thing can vibrate and cum, he reacts to your touch and that he has a usb charger that gets plugged into the back of his neck.
"W-wow." you nod to yourself as you keep reading until you flip to the last page.
WARNING!
If there are any malfunctions with any part of the doll, please contact our services.
The doll can bathe in water except the charger opening so be aware of that.
Please do not disfigure or mutilate the doll.
Do not throw the doll into the trash.
Do not break, bruise or cut the doll.
If you're not satisfied, you can always return it to us and get your money back.
If you've purchased our Hyunjin doll, do not be too harsh on him considering he's sensitive.
Hope you enjoy the romantic soul you chose!
Bruise? The doll can bruise?
Why are they talking about it like it's alive?
You gulp and turn to look at the couch but the doll is unmoving, turned towards the tv, same position as before.
You peek back into the big box to find another, smaller box inside it, that was beneath the doll's feet earlier.
You carefully take it out, putting it on the floor and opening it curiously.
Inside, you found a change of clothes, more casual looking ones and something to be used as sleep wear. It was like getting a Barbie doll with all her outfits when you were a kid.
So bizzare, yet it made you feel excited in a way.
After getting up, you decide to clean up the mess you made with the bubble wrap and put the box away in your closet, just in case, if you ever wanted to return him.
"Okay." you nod and come back to peek at the doll.
The television screen reflects in his eyes, his hands crossed in his lap, just how you left him and relief washes over you.
Why are you even scared?
You shake your head and decide to prepare lunch.
You're in your kitchen, listening to some slow music as you cook, completely forgetting about the doll sitting in your living room.
That is, until the volume of the tv suddenly increases making you jolt and gasp.
Your back straightens as you turn off the stove.
Slowly turning around, you stare at the direction the sound is coming from.
You swallow and make your way to your couch, you don't know what to expect but the doll is still in the same position you left it, the tv remote is out of his reach, down on the coffee table.
You grab it and decrease the volume before looking back at the doll.
"If that wasn't you, we have ghosts in this apartment. But if it was you, you're obviously wanting my attention." you cross your arms as you stare at him.
Nothing.
"Fine, I will eat lunch with you." you declare before going back to the kitchen to get yourself food.
You mostly eat in front of your tv anyways, not caring about any rules since you live alone, enjoying the freedom it brings you.
Settling down next to Hyunjin, you pull the blanket over your legs too and start eating.
You chuckle to yourself, if someone saw you right now, they'd think you're absolutely insane, sitting down next to an inanimate doll that looks eerily human.
You take a peek at Hyunjin, sighing as he sits still.
"You do look alive. But I'm literally talking to myself." you say and of course get no answer.
Shrugging, you continue about your day, washing dishes and doing laundry, enjoying your selfcare routine after getting your apartment in order, your Hyunjin doll observing your movements from the couch.
In the evening hours, you finally come back to him.
"Are you tired of being in the same position?" you ask, knowing there will be no answer.
"We can have dinner now." you add and leave to the kitchen to bring out some food and a bottle of wine.
"This is insane. Top 5 weirdest things I've done." you talk to yourself as you look down at your black satin nightgown, with lace details on the top, perfectly resting on your chest. "Maybe it even takes up the first place."
You settle next to Hyunjin once again, changing his position a little as you fill up two glasses of wine.
"Our first date, I guess?" you sigh with a chuckle before drinking the wine.
His glass stands full on the coffee table, untouched as you start eating next to him once again.
"I guess I should tell you a bit about myself. I work in an office. I hate my job but it pays the bills." you say, "I always wanted to be in a band though. Played guitar in high school. Never got too far with that. I love art too, you know, any shape or form of it. Maybe that's why I chose you. You seem like an artist. Or you would be if you were real, ha." you chuckle, yapping away as you keep drinking the wine, the doll listening to you without moving.
You keep pouring the wine into both his and your glass but it's only you drinking from both glasses.
It gives you a nice buzz, warmness that spreads through your body and manifests itself between your legs.
Usually, you'd play with your vibrator or dildo but seeing as you got a literal sex doll, you thought you should use him for the purpose he's made for.
"Now, what do I do with you?" you smirk, your hand coming up to play with the doll's hair, twirling the lock in your fingers.
"I mean, I can do anything I want." you nod, scooting closer to the doll.
"I feel fucking crazy." you laugh, pulling the covers off of Hyunjin.
Your hand is pressed on his thigh as you touch him gently through his clothes, your mind still marvelling at the fact that he feels like a real human being.
"I'm curious." you whisper, your fingertip playing with the button of his shirt, wanting to see what he looks like underneath the nice clothes they made him wear.
Slowly, you start unbuttoning the doll, taking your time with it, as anticipation builds up, creating a swirl of excitement inside you.
When you pop open the last button, you open up the shirt and gasp.
"Wow." you lick your lips at the sight, the doll's nipples look aroused, his stomach is toned, it looks like there's a vein leading down into his pants making your eyes fall down at his crotch.
You still have no idea how they made him look so real but you're eager to explore, planting your hands on his chest, running them up and down to his stomach, tracing the vein with your fingertips.
You run your hands back up to his nipples and flick them gently with your thumb before pinching them experimentally.
Gasping, you notice a growing bulge in the doll's pants.
"Am I pushing the right buttons?" you chuckle at your own joke as you continue playing with his nipples.
Your impatience however doesn't let you stall for too long, so your hands make their way down to the hem of his pants.
"Let's see." with a smirk you unbutton and unzip his pants, pulling them down with a little struggle as you have to lift him up a little.
You place your hands on his thighs, squeezing the flesh a little, watching as his cock twitches like he was really alive.
"You really do react to touch." you gasp in wonder, what kind of technology was this?
They even put underwear on him which you think is a nice touch but at this point, you were too curious not to slide them off immediately.
"Woah!" you gasp as his cock springs free of its confines.
You think it's the biggest and most beautiful cock you've ever seen, framed by a neatly cut bush, a visible vein running up the whole length.
You stare at it for a little while before you wrap your hand around it, your other hand fondling his balls.
It feels real once again, like he's throbbing and twitching, hot and heavy on your palm, a bead of precum at the tip.
"What in the hell?" you mumble, your finger swiping at the tip as you gather the liquid and bring it to your lips.
You suck your finger into your mouth, swirling your tongue around it and tasting the sweetness of the doll.
How he tasted so sweet was beyond you.
"Fuck it." you chuckle, pulling off your nightgown and tossing it aside, which leaves you completely naked like the doll is.
"I didn't even kiss you. Not very romantic of me." you smirk as you throw your leg over Hyunjin, sitting in his lap, your wet folds pressed against his cock.
You lean in and press a kiss to his lips, and of course the doll doesn't kiss back but his lips move with your movement and it feels good as you grind on his hard length.
"Look at you. Letting me do all the work like all the rest of them." you scoff with a smirk and at that, the doll's cock twitches a little too hard against you, almost pushing inside you.
"Wow. Someone's excited." you stare at the doll's eyes but there is nothing in there to indicate that he was in fact listening to you.
"For how much you cost, I hope this is worth it." you shrug and grip the base of his cock, guiding it inside you.
Sitting down on his length has you gasping as he fills you up perfectly, like his cock was made exactly for your pussy to take.
Your grip the doll's shoulders and use it for what you intended to when you clicked on that purchase button.
No matter how turned on you are though, staring at Hyunjin's almost expressionless face proves to be a turn off so you lean forward, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as you press your chest to his and continue bouncing on him.
Save for the fact that his hands lay limp on the side, his skin feels human and he feels kind of warm, like there was something inside the doll, warming it up.
"F-fuck." you whimper as the head of his cock brushes against the spongy spot inside you, it's like the more wet you get and the harder you fuck on him, his cock responds to you.
"R-right hand for activation." you repeat the instruction from the manual, as you blindly search for his right hand, sliding your fingertips on his wrist to his palm, your head leaned on his shoulder as you slowly gyrate your hips.
Your fingers interlace with his and it feels almost like Hyunjin grips your hand back, making you jump a little but before you can move away, his cock starts vibrating inside you.
"A-ah!" you moan loudly as your other arm curls around him, holding onto him while you fiddle with his fingers, your legs clamping around him as you start falling apart.
"G-gonna cum!" you whimper, burying your face in Hyunjin's neck and he smells so nice, feels so good as his cock keeps vibrating against your spot, bringing you to your high quickly.
The ecstasy you feel as the vibrations persist, prolonging your orgasm, overstimulating you while you ride the feeling makes you miss the single blink that Hyunjin's eyes make before returning to their original glassy and unmoving state.
"Too much." you whimper, squeezing his thumb and the vibrations stop.
You know that the left hand brings a happy end to the doll but you're not sure if you're done with it yet.
Leaning back to finally look at his face has you a little disappointed as you don't notice any kind of change on his face.
"Kinda wish you were real." you whisper, hugging the doll as you start bouncing on his hard cock again, bringing yourself easily to another orgasm.
You squeeze the doll's left hand after that, and feel spurts of warm cum shooting inside you as his cock twitches, the head bruising against your spot violently as he fills you up with copious amounts of the sticky substance.
You're pretty sure the neighbors can hear you moan as you cum again, the feeling of being filled up to the brim satisfies you and has your eyes rolling in the back of your head.
"Wow." you breathe hard, your cheek leaned on Hyunjin's shoulder as you grip his wrists while you come down.
You lean back to look at the doll again.
Were his lips slightly upturned before?
In the fogginess of your orgasms, you couldn't tell or think straight.
"Be right back." you slide off of him and make your way to the bathroom, taking a quick five minute shower before you grab a wet cloth to clean the doll up.
He sits how you left him, and you kneel between his legs to clean him up carefully.
His cock is not completely soft nor hard anymore, it's somewhere in the middle, but as you touch it gently, it seems to react and twitch again.
"You came already." you smirk and experimentally pinch the tip of Hyunjin's cock, but nothing happens except the member twitching again.
You stand up with a sigh, covering him with the blanket again before you leave for the bathroom to get ready for bed.
Just as you turn on the water to wash your mouth out, you hear something akin to a sigh coming from your living room.
You freeze, turning off the water and listening closely but you only hear the quiet buzz of the lamp above your mirror.
Maybe you were just imagining things.
You shake your head and finish your business before going back to Hyunjin.
"I'm too tired to dress you now, but boxers should be enough." you say and struggle to get him dressed, almost giving up during the process.
"I should just keep you naked in my bed to avoid the hassle." you say, lifting him up and carrying him to your bed.
"Cuddles, right? I do love me some cuddles too." you say with a tired smile as you adjust Hyunjin in your bed.
You join him under the covers and lean on your elbow as you lay sideways, staring down at him.
"How'd they make you look and feel so real?" your hand is on his cheek, and you trace his eyebrows, his nose and lips.
Fingertips travel to his ears, down to his neck and his chest.
"Don't come alive and scare me while I'm sleeping, Hyunjin." a shadow passes in his eyes as you say his name but you're too busy caressing his toned stomach to notice.
"Night." you kiss his lips before turning off the lamp and laying your head on his shoulder.
Somehow, you adjust his arms so that it seems like he's holding you and you throw your leg over his, your hand tracing patterns on his chest and side.
It was like hugging and kissing your pillow in high school, except this one took the shape of a human being.
With thoughts and questions about Hyunjin swimming in your head, you fall asleep quickly, not noticing how the doll's arms tighten around you ever so slightly.
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Early in the morning as your alarm starts blaring loudly and annoyingly, you groan and stir, almost forgetting about Hyunjin being next to you.
"Oh!" you gasp. "Good morning, dolly." you say after turning the alarm off, as he stares at the ceiling.
"Sadly, I gotta go to work and leave you here alone. You better behave while I'm out." you lift a finger up menacingly, but there's a playful smile on your face.
"Man, I'm crazy." you shake your head before leaning in to leave a nice, wet smooch on Hyunjin's cheek.
"I'll come say bye before I leave."
And you do so, after eating breakfast and getting ready, you're back in your room.
"Should I put you in the living room so you can watch tv?"
The doll never answers.
"Maybe, yeah. You'll be bored lying in bed all day." you nod and carry Hyunjin to your couch.
You make him comfy, cover him with the blanket, card your fingers through his messy hair and then turn on the tv, leaving the remote in his lap.
"Gonna be late because of you." you sigh and lean down to place a kiss on the doll's lips.
"Be a good doll."
And with that you finally leave your apartment.
All day at work, you can't help but wonder if your Hyunjin doll somehow came alive, and for some reason you were looking forward to seeing him even if he didn't.
"What's got you so happy? Finally got laid?" your coworker chuckles as you stand in the office kitchen making yourself some coffee, you know she always gossips about you behind your back so you don't wanna give her the time of the day.
"Mind your business, Amanda." you answer quickly, turning to leave back to your office.
"Okay, you didn't then." she calls behind you with a giggle but you decide to ignore her.
"Fucking bitch." you mutter to yourself as you close the door.
The rest of the day goes by uneventfully and you can't wait to drive back home to Hyunjin.
"I'm home!" you yell out as soon as you step inside, hearing that the tv is still on, nothing out of the ordinary.
You make your way to your living room to find Hyunjin in the exact same position as you left him almost 9 hours ago, the remote still next to his right hand, the same channel you turned on this morning on the tv.
For some reason, your shoulders slump.
"Well, I guess you've been a good doll and took my warning literally." you shrug a little.
"Still, I want to reward you. As soon as I eat and take a nap that is." you add and go about your routine, eating lunch, taking a shower and of course changing into your comfy clothes, which at this time of the year consisted of an oversized t-shirt and panties.
"Let's take a nap together, dolly." you say to Hyunjin as you lift him up and move him to your bed again.
You lay him on his side, then mirror his position, taking his arm and wrapping it around your waist, the other comfortably under your neck.
Tracing patterns on his stomach and chest again, you start talking.
"Your life is so easy. From the couch to the bed, you don't even have to work or go anywhere. Meanwhile, I have to endure fucking Amanda every day at work. Do you have any idea how bitchy that woman is?", you talk as you cuddle your doll. "She has to know eeeeverything about eeeeeveryone. Soon, she'll crawl up my ass just to look at my insides."
You look at Hyunjin's face and for a moment it seems as if his eyes moved.
"Are you listening to me, perhaps?" you whisper, your hand on his cheek. "I know I'm probably crazy. But I'm glad I got you. Even though you're a bit creepy, you bring me comfort." you add, tucking your head into his neck.
"I'm gonna sleep now."
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Slowly blinking your eyes awake, you feel warmness enveloping you that's not coming just from your blanket but from Hyunjin.
Quickly, you realize that somehow his thigh ended up pressed against your core, your leg thrown over him as you scooted closer to him in sleep.
"Oh." a little sound escapes your lips as you grind against his warm thigh, feeling wetness on your panties.
Before looking up at him, you press a kiss to his collarbone and it seems like his thigh moves against you once, making you jolt.
"Hey." you look up at him, but his eyes are unmoving as always.
You observe his face but the throbbing between your legs makes you grind against him again.
"F-feels good." you whimper, leaning in and kissing him, letting your tongue dart out and lick at the plump lips.
You feel his erection press against your other thigh, the one flush against him and you chuckle a little.
"Someone likes me a lot." you say, leaning back to look at him.
It looks like there's a small smile on his face that you swear wasn't there before.
"Hm." you squint your eyes as you stop your movements.
"Gotta try something." you declare after a moment of silence, lifting up and removing the blanket.
You push Hyunjin on his back, hooking your fingers in his boxers and pulling them off of him.
"Aw, you really do like me a lot." you smirk at the sight of the doll's cock, twitching and leaking again like it did yesterday.
"I'll give you some attention, you deserved it."
You spread his legs, adjusting them so you can kneel between his thighs and you lean down.
"I haven't done this in a while. You can't complain though." you chuckle a little as you grip his cock and let your tongue dart out, catching the sweet tasting precum with it.
You don't understand how he tastes so sweet, it's hard to put your finger on what exactly the taste is but it makes you want more so you swirl your tongue around his head, your moans muffled as you swallow the sweet liquid.
"Mm. Fuck you taste good." you whine and put your lips around him again, slowly taking more of him in as you bob your head up and down.
Sucking cock like that is not your favorite thing to do, sometimes it makes you feel uncomfortable but having Hyunjin be so still and so tasty has your arousal pooling on your panties and you keep wanting more.
You take as much as you can, coating his cock in your saliva, your tongue pressing along his vein as you fondle his balls has him twitching inside you.
You smirk and grip his left hand, spurts of hot cum hitting your throat and it tastes even sweeter than before as you whimper and swallow everything.
"Damn hot." you whine, quickly getting rid of your shirt and panties, before you take his now completely wet cock in your hand and start jerking him off to make him hard for you again.
It doesn't take long to excite the doll and you decide to turn your back to him and fuck on his cock like that so that you don't have to look into his lifeless eyes while pleasing yourself.
You sit on him and push his cock inside yourself, your warm cunt engulfing his entire length easily.
"Mm." you gyrate your hips as you close your eyes and enjoy teasing yourself, your wet pussy coating his navel and balls.
"God, you're perfect Hyunjin." you whine and start fucking on him.
In the deep throes of passion as you bounce on him, your nails digging into his thighs for support, your eyes closed in pure bliss, you don't notice anything.
You don't notice Hyunjin blinking, his lips opening to speak but nothing comes out.
He can't move no matter how hard he tries and once again his eyes go back to the glassy state they're always in.
"Gonna cum." you whine loudly, gripping his right hand and he starts vibrating inside you, pushing you over the edge and making you scream as you squirt all over him.
"Fuck." you whine as your eyes focus, noticing you have left red marks in his thighs.
"Oh. Did I hurt you?" you gasp, your fingertips gently running over the marks.
"Didn't mean to." you look back at him but he lays still.
His cock twitches inside you and you grip his left hand, making the doll fill you up as you slowly ride him.
You lift up slowly, his cum sliding down your inner thigh together with your release.
"Made a mess of you, dolly." you look at the state of him.
"Maybe a bath?" he doesn't answer but still you prepare a bath and place him in it, careful of the usb opening on his neck.
You get inside after him, settling between his legs and leaning your back on his chest.
"Why are you so warm, Hyunjin?" you caress his arm as you hold it, his other one thrown over your stomach.
Sighing, you lean on his shoulder and close your eyes, trying to relax in the warm water, as Hyunjin 'held' you.
You still couldn't understand how they made him, but you were willing not to think about that, as he brought you a kind of comfort you didn't expect, making you wanna indulge in that feeling for as long as you could.
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It's been exactly two months since you've gotten your Hyunjin doll, and ever since then you've loved spending every day with him.
You talked to him like he was alive, you watched movies with him, you read him books, you slept next to him every single night, you brought him to the kitchen so he can watch you cook, you even took him on late night drives sometimes, feeling bad that he was locked up in the apartment all day.
Sometimes, you thought you saw a flicker in his eyes, a slight smile on his face, or his fingers twitching against his thighs.
Some nights, while you're half asleep, you could swear that he tightened his hold on you or his chest lifted up and down like he was breathing.
Some days, as you'd come home from work you found him in a slightly different position than you left him.
One time, you sat him next to the window so you could watch rain together, and when you came back from making some tea, there was a heart shape in the fog on the glass.
"Did you do this dolly?" you caress his hair and look at him closely but he doesn't react.
You sigh, tracing another heart next to the first one before you sit in his lap, bringing the warm cup to your lips and observing him.
You thought you were going crazy in the beginning but as time passed by, you were becoming sure that there was more to Hyunjin than you initially knew.
"Just say something if you can hear me. Or squeeze my hand." you try for the nth time as you sit on your couch with Hyunjin but nothing happens.
"Fine." you huff. "Maybe you want something first. What would you like? I bought you new clothes. Maybe you want something else like... like something to do with art? We can paint together, if you'd like."
Hyunjin doesn't answer.
Nevertheless, you bring your art supplies and a bottle of wine.
You make yourself comfortable on the floor, next to Hyunjin's legs as he sits on the couch.
You end up being the one painting and drinking, Hyunjin's eyes move to look down at you, the look in his eyes softens, unlike the glassy one he always has.
He wants to talk, he wants to lean over and caress your hair, he wants to taste the wine off of your lips and feel the paintbrush between his fingertips.
But he can't. His eyes become glassy again as your phone rings, jolting you out of your peaceful activity.
It's your mother.
The conversation starts as always and it escalates into a fight of when are you settling down, why aren't you married, why are you closing yourself off, why are you such a failure?
As soon as you hang up a sob escapes your lips and you fall into Hyunjin, seeking comfort as you wrap your limbs around him, your face buried in his neck and your hot tears sliding down from your cheeks to his shirt, soaking it up.
"No one would understand." you cry. "They'd say I'm crazy and maybe I am. But I don't give a fuck."
Your body trembles against Hyunjin as you hiccup and sniffle, your arms wrapped tightly around his waist, your leg thrown over his thighs.
His body seems warmer than before and you squeeze him a little.
"Maybe I'm fucking crazy for loving a doll. But I love you Hyunjin." you sigh, closing your eyes as you lean against him.
His eyelids flutter a few times. He blinks.
A deep breath through his nose and you almost miss the way his chest moves up.
You place your hand on his chest, and feel it.
A heart beat slowly forming, at first almost too slow to be normal until it becomes steady and then speeds up.
He's breathing, his lips are dry as he licks at them, his hands clutch onto you and you scream.
You jump up quickly, your eyes wide as you look at him.
Hyunjin looks back up at you, his eyes wide and filled with fear and shock, mirroring yours.
He opens his mouth and a series of coughs escape his lips.
"Wh- How? Am I hallucinating?"
"Y- y/n." is the first thing he says, weakly and quietly as he reaches out for you.
You stay still as a statue, not sure what the hell is happening before your eyes.
"P-please, don't be scared." he begs as he tries to get up but his legs give out and he falls to the floor with a thud.
"Ugh." he whimpers, his hands grabbing at the coffee table.
You're slow to react to him falling from the shock of it all, making your way back to him cautiously.
"Did you hurt yourself?" you ask quietly.
"N-no, I don't think so." he says as he looks up at you.
"Who- who are you?" you don't know what else to ask, because the doll you used and played with was now a human with a heartbeat and he was looking at you, even knew your name.
"What do you mean? I'm- I'm Hyunjin, your romantic doll." he answers like it's the most normal thing ever.
"How are you alive? Why now all of a sudden? I don't get it." you say as he sits back on his legs.
"You... You love me. Your love brought me to life." he swallows, his cheeks rosy.
"Oh... There was nothing about this in the manual." The fucking manual. The doll's actual purpose. Everything you ever did to him. Embarassment washes over you and you feel absolutely mortified.
"Do you... did you hear me all this time? And um, see and feel what I was doing?"
"Y-yeah." he nods, his cheeks becoming even more red.
"Fucking hell." you whine, covering your face with your hands as you sit on the couch.
"Hey, it's okay. I- I was made for that." he says, his hand on your knee in an attempt to comfort you.
You peek at him through your fingers.
"And you were so nice to me. So... warm and loving. You made me feel so good. You never mistreated me even when you knew very well you could do whatever you want with me. I'm thankful for that. And I- I love you too, y/n." Hyunjin talks, his thumb gently caressing your skin.
"Are you programmed to say stuff like that? Are you a robot?"
He chuckles.
"I'm not programmed and I'm not a robot. Didn't you feel my heart beating?"
"I did but... I don't understand. How were you made?" you finally remove your hands from your face.
"I don't know. I wish I could answer your questions but I'm as clueless as you are. I just know I was conscious the whole time while I was with you but I couldn't speak or move. Like I was paralyzed. It was horrible. I tried giving you signs, I tried to talk multiple times but it's like something would hold me back, like there was a wall and I couldn't break through."
"That does sound horrible. I'm sorry if I ever did something you wouldn't agree to." you say quietly, your face burning in embarassment.
"No, no, I liked everything you did." he says with a sheepish smile, averting his eyes. "Wish I could reciprocate." he looks up at you through his lashes.
You're biting on your lip nervously, his hand reaches for you and you accidentally snatch yours away, not used to your doll talking to you and trying to touch you.
"A-are you gonna abandon me now?" he asks quietly as he eyes your hand.
"What?" you look back at him to see that his eyes are watery and you gasp. "No, of course not! I always wished you'd come to life. Didn't think it would actually happen so I'm still processing and hoping that I'm not dreaming."
"Oh, thank god." he exhales and you let him grab your hand. "I- uhm... I'm very hungry and thirsty. Could you help me with that?"
"Oh! Of course! I will make some dinner for us." you say and help him sit up on the couch, noticing that now he's heavier than he used to be.
"I guess I still need to get feeling in my legs and arms." he says as you bring him a glass of water.
"Mhm, probably you need to have blood pumping properly through your body. Don't worry." you pet his hair as he drinks and he looks at you.
"Here, you'll be warm like this." you wrap him up in your fluffy blanket and notice a change on the back of his neck.
"Oh!" you exclaim, your fingertips touching the skin there, making Hyunjin shiver a little.
"The usb opening is gone." you declare and he brings his hand to touch it, your fingertips grazing against each other.
"That's weird." he says absentmindedly.
"All of this is weird." you chuckle and he chuckles with you, making you look at him.
God, he's even more beautiful with a smile gracing his face, you think to yourself.
Without thinking your hands gently cup his cheeks.
"You're really alive." you whisper, your thumbs gently stroking his face, his eyes flutter as he pushes into your hands.
"I am. Does that make you happy?" he asks with a sparkle in his eyes.
"Very happy." you nod with a smile, leaning closer to him.
"Good. I want to make you happy. When you're happy, I'm happy too."
"Hyunjinnie." you whine against his lips and kiss him gently.
Having him kiss back as he clutches at your shirt is the sweetest thing ever, you think as you wrap your arms around his shoulders.
"Okay, I don't want you to starve now that you came to life." you lean back with a chuckle as he chases your lips.
"Yeah, please, I need food." he nods and you make your way to the kitchen, whipping up a quick dinner, checking constantly if he's okay.
You bring two plates as soon as you're done and Hyunjin's eyes seem to get bigger as soon as they land on the food.
"Be careful, it's still hot." you warn him.
"Okay." Hyunjin nods.
He eats happily, asking for more which you of course bring to him.
"Are you feeling better?" you ask when the two of you finish eating.
"Yes, much better. But I feel very tired now."
"You need sleep. Let's go to bed. Do you think you can walk now?"
"I think so." you grab his arm and help him become steady on his feet.
You lead him to the bathroom and he looks at you.
"Now that you're alive, you need to brush your teeth and wash up before bed."
"Right." he nods.
After a whole ordeal of getting ready, you finally plop down under the covers.
"Can I- Can I hold you?" Hyunjin asks sweetly and you chuckle, rolling your body into his.
"Of course."
"Always wanted to do that." his limbs wrap around you as he holds you tightly, your face buried in his chest.
"Good night, Hyunjin. Please be there when I wake up." you nuzzle into him, inhaling the familiar fresh and flowery scent of him.
"I promise I will. Good night, y/n."
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It wasn't a dream.
Your eyes flutter open and Hyunjin smiles at you fondly, his hand gently caressing your cheek.
"Morning, dol- Hyunjin."
"You can call me dolly if that's what you like." he smirks and you chuckle.
"Eh, well you're human now. It feels like I'm degrading you." you gently touch his chest.
"I don't mind." he shifts and you feel his erection press against your thigh.
You gasp a little, your core throbbing with want.
"I'm sorry." his face is red instantly. "It's just- when you touch me... I can't help it."
"It's okay, Hyunjinnie." you slide your hand down to cup him through his boxers.
He whimpers, leaning into you, his eyes fluttering shut and you press your lips on his in a heated kiss.
His tongue licks at your lower lip and you let him in, eager to finally feel his kisses how you craved to.
Hyunjin kisses you messily and hungrily, grinding into your hand, grunting against your lips.
As soon as you slide off his boxers, automatically your hands lift up to push him on his back but he grabs your wrists gently to stop you.
"My sweet girl, let me take care of you how you deserve now that I'm able to." he rasps, his eyes hooded as he looks at you with lust.
"O-okay." you whisper and lay down on your back, letting Hyunjin slide your panties off as you pull off your shirt and toss it somewhere aside.
"I've spent so much time receiving. I want to give, my angel. My hands hurt when I couldn't touch you and make you feel good. That's all I want to do." he sounds desperate as his lips attach to your neck, leaving wet kisses on your skin, his hands roaming on your body and settling on your breasts.
"Mm, make me feel good, Jinnie." you whimper as he squeezes your breasts, massaging them and moaning against your skin like it was more pleasurable to him than to you.
He mumbles sweet praises as he leaves more kisses that lead to your nipple, his tongue darting out to swirl around it, making you arch into him.
His eyes are dark as he wraps his lips around it and starts sucking, his other hand sliding down to grip your inner thigh.
Fingertips ghost on your skin, both his hands now spreading your legs apart.
"Do you know how much I longed to taste your sweet nectar? Will you let me drink from you, my angel?" Hyunjin asks, his finger gently pressing into your clit, circling it.
"Yes, please, oh my god." you whimper, your hips lifting up into his touch.
He smirks, trailing kisses down to your core.
He stops for a moment to admire you and you don't even have time to feel self-conscious as he spreads your pussy lips apart and leans in to stick his tongue inside you.
"F-fuck!" you jolt as he starts moving it before he leans back a little and licks at your sensitive clit.
"Taste even sweeter than I imagined." he moans, his lips wrapping around your clit as he sucks on it, his thumbs gently caressing your pussy lips.
"H-H-Hyunjin!" you whimper as he sucks harder, your hips lifting up in pleasure.
"Could be here for hours. Eating this sweet pussy out." he moans, pushing his tongue inside you again, this time fucking you faster, his nose giving the perfect pressure on your sensitive nub and driving you crazy.
Your hand grips his hair, pushing him more into you as he skilfully moves his tongue, his lips pressing into your lower ones as he makes out with you.
Your orgasm washes over you quickly, coating Hyunjin's face and he laps it all up greedily, his eyes shut as he whimpers into you, sending vibrations right into your core.
You feel crazy with desire the more he continues eating you out like a man starved and you have to grip his hair and pull him away after he gives you two more orgasms.
"H-Hyune, please, I need your cock." you whimper, feeling like you're falling apart.
He licks at his red lips, his eyes crazed with lust he feels for you.
"Anything my angel needs." his voice is husky as he leans over you, the tip of his cock pressed against your wet, messy cunt.
He pushes in with ease, after all, you've been fucking on him for the last two months, your pussy was used to the stretch.
"Mm, Hyunjin!" that doesn't make it feel less pleasurable when he fills you up, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix.
"Move, please." you whimper, already feeling out of it.
Hyunjin grips your thighs and starts fucking you at a steady pace, his cock dragging against your walls deliciously, sliding easily through your wetness.
"Feel so good. So warm. Just for me." he whimpers, his eyes fluttering shut before they open again and look down where his cock disappears inside you.
"Just for you, Jinnie." you moan and he looks up at you, a smile on his face.
He leans closer to you, wrapping his arms around you and in turn you wrap yours around his shoulders, bringing your bodies flush together as he buries himself deep inside your heat.
He ruts into you desperately, your lips meeting in messy kisses, spit dribbles down your chin and he licks at it, kissing your jaw and your neck wetly.
"P-please tell me you love me." he whimpers in your ear, holding you tightly as he fucks you harder, only taking a little bit of his length out and shoving it back in with force that has your mind spinning.
"I love you, Hyunjin. I love you. So much." you cry happy tears, making him cry too as you clutch onto each other.
"My angel, I love you more than anything." he says as he kisses you, his tongue playing with yours.
He brings you to another orgasm, his fingers on your nipples, pinching and pulling as he keeps rutting into you desperately.
"C-can I cum?" he whimpers, his hands gripping desperately at your waist.
"Yeah." you nod quickly and he gives you his left hand to squeeze and as your fingers entwine, he cums, filling you up endlessly, more than when he was just doll and you whimper as your legs clamp around him, lifting your middle into him and cumming with him again.
Both of you breathe hard as he stays inside you for a moment, before pulling out and watching his cum drip out of you.
"D-do I still have to squeeze your left hand for you to cum?" you chuckle a little.
"No, just... force of habit, I guess." he says sheepishly like he didn't just fuck your brains out.
"What about the vibrations?"
"You really liked that, didn't you?" he smirks, his hand sliding up your thigh tentatively, before his fingers slide between your folds, playing with the wetness.
"Shut up." you say embarassingly, swatting his hand away.
"Don't worry, I can vibrate if you want." he bites on his lip as he looks at you.
"I'm too sensitive now." you whisper and he chuckles.
"I know. Usually you don't go above four, five orgasms in one sitting. Maybe six if you're extra horny."
"It's embarassing to me that you know this in such detail." your face becomes red as Hyunjin chuckles, shaking his head.
"Nothing you should be embarassed about. I'm happy to please you." he says and leans down to kiss you gently.
You pull him into your embrace, hoping that from now on, he stays human, and keeps loving you because in this moment you can't imagine your life without Hyunjin in it.
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"Thank you for letting me use your painting supplies." Hyunjin smiles up at you as he sits on the floor of your living room, like you always did when you painted.
"Don't thank me, Jinnie. What's mine is yours." you smile as you sit next to him and lean in closer.
"Let me see." you say as he looks down sheepishly.
He pushes the sketchbook towards you and you gasp.
"Hyunjin, this is amazing! How did you manage to paint so well?! And you painted me! That's so sweet."
"I- I don't know. As I started, it's like I got déjà vu, like I already did this before and many times so."
"Really? That's peculiar." you say.
"Maybe we should call the company I got you from." you add, tapping your chin.
"P-please don't!" Hyunjin panics, gripping at your thigh. "I'm scared. I don't know why but when I try to think of that place, it feels bad. Please don't call them. I don't want them to take me away from you."
"Hey, hey, it's okay. No one will take you away from me. I won't call them." you quickly grab his face to calm him down.
"You promise?" his pupils shake as he looks at you.
"I promise." you nod and kiss him sweetly to let him know he can trust you.
Hyunjin visibly relaxes with your touch, wrapping his arms around you and tucking his face in your neck.
"Um... could we go outside? We only ever went on night drives which is understandable but now that I can walk and stuff, we could go out on real dates and maybe visit museums?" he looks up at you with a smile.
"Of course! Anywhere you want to go." you smile back at him, and he leans up to kiss you.
For the next several weeks, you take Hyunjin everywhere.
To the park, the movies, museums, to a club, to different restaurants, to a mall, anything that comes to your mind, the two of you decide to visit, even going to a little town nearby for a day trip.
You don't remember the last time you were this happy and had someone next to you who made everything look so easy and sweet.
Hyunjin had taken an interest in capturing all the pretty moments so you got him a camera, deciding to surprise him for your 6 month anniversary.
As you came home from work, you called out to him but there was no answer.
"Jinnie? Are you sleeping?" you pushed the bedroom door open but the bed was vacant.
A heavy feeling settled in the pit of your stomach as you searched your entire apartment and couldn't find him.
Frantically, you looked for him again, knowing that he didn't suddenly become Barbie sized and hid somewhere.
He was gone.
You ran out of your apartment to knock on your neighbor's door.
"Tony! Did you see Hyunjin today maybe?" you asked him as soon as he opened the door.
"No, I didn't, sorry." he shook his head.
You didn't know what to do so you went back to your apartment and burst into tears.
Hyunjin didn't have a phone you could contact him with as he never had the need to use one so you had no way of reaching him.
All you could do was sit and wait, biting your nails as every single scenario runs through your mind.
He will come back, you reassure yourself as you fall asleep from exhaustion.
And he does, around 10pm the door clicks open and you jolt up from your nap on the couch.
"Hyunjin?" you say into the dark space and he turns on the light, standing in the middle of your living room with two gift bags in his hand and an apologetic look on his face.
"Oh my god, Hyunjin!" you jump to your feet, running to him and throwing your arms around him, squeezing him tightly and almost knocking him down as the bags fall out of his hands and he wraps his arms around your waist.
"I'm so sorry, y/n. I should've left you a note. I-I went out to get a gift for our anniversary tommorow."
"Please, don't ever disappear like that again. Do you have any idea how scared I was?" you cry and Hyunjin gasps, his hands on your face as he wipes away your tears.
"I'm really sorry. I will never ever do something like this again." his eyes water too.
"I should get you a phone." you shake your head. "Hey, how did you even manage to buy a gift? You don't have any money." you chuckle, wiping at your cheeks.
"I went to the park and painted portraits of people for money, then got the gift."
"Oh, Jinnie, you sweet fool. Just don't give me any more scares."
"I promise I won't." he nods and your lips seal in a kiss.
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Despite having so many options to choose from now, Hyunjin and you decide to have a nice dinner at home for your anniversary, where it all started.
You even took out the most expensive plates and silverware you owned, adding some candles to create a more intimate atmosphere, some light romantic music playing in the background.
"Y/n, I um- got you something I'd like to see you wear tonight for me."
"Oh, you did?" you smirk. "Show it to me."
Hyunjin grabs one of the gift bags and reaches it to you with an excited smile.
You chuckle and peek inside, seeing that he got you black and red lacy lingerie as well as a dress.
"Do you like it?" he asks.
"Very much so." you take out the dress and touch the silky material. "This dress is very revealing." you notice the opened back and the deep neck line that would definitely almost make your breasts fall out.
"I was counting on the fact that we celebrate here because you in that dress is for my eyes only." his eyes darken suddenly.
"Oh yeah? Let me get ready for our dinner then." you chuckle and make your way to the bathroom.
Hyunjin decides to wear the clothes he arrived in, since those were the only fancy clothing items he owned, and he thought it was kind of symbolic to put them on tonight.
You walk into your bedroom to find Hyunjin dressed and staring at the big box he was packed in, one you still didn't get rid of.
"Jinnie?" you call out as he seems to be deep in thought.
"You kept the box." he says, still looking at it.
"I did. I had no idea what I was getting into so I left it just in case. I was gonna throw it out, it's just really heavy." you explain, making your way to him.
"When you arrived, two men had to carry the box in, and somehow the box seemed heavier than you. I barely managed to get it into the closet. Had to push it and stuff. Sorry I didn't have the chance to get rid of it."
"It's okay, y/n. You don't have to apologize." he smiles as he turns towards you.
"Oh." a gasp leaves his lips as he sees you all dressed up for him.
"You like?" you smirk, winking at him.
"Mhm." he nods quickly. "You look stunning, my angel."
"Thank you, Jinnie. You look handsome."
His cheeks seem to become more red with the praise as he mutters, his eyes darting left and right.
You enjoy your dinner together, romantic music playing in the background, the tv mute, left on just from the habit of it.
After you finish eating, you migrate to the couch to cuddle and drink wine, some stupid show playing on the screen and the two of you jokingly read from the character's lips, making up nonsensical conversations and laughing.
After some time and some more wine, Hyunjin becomes even more handsy than usual, grabbing at your thighs, sliding his hands on the silky material of the dress.
You melt into him, kissing him as your arms wrap around his shoulders, your tongues languidly massaging each other as your core throbs with need.
Hyunjin caresses you gently, his hands worshipping you, sliding down your throat, to your collarbone, to the swell of your breasts, down to your stomach and waist, landing on your hips.
His lips attach to your neck as he leaves wet kisses on your skin, licking at it and sinking his teeth in.
"Mm." you moan, playing with his hair as he kisses your collarbone and the flesh of your breast, leaving another love bite on the soft skin.
His hands travel under your dress, roaming around on your legs and your eyes open, landing on the tv, making you gasp.
"Hyunjin, that's you!" you jolt, pointing at the screen.
"Huh?" he mumbles, already drunk on you.
You quickly grab the remote and turn on the sound.
"...seemingly the dolls have some kind of malfunction that the company does not wish to reveal to the public. All eight of the purchased dolls are required to be returned and the buyers will get their money back, guaranteed. The customers will be contacted accordingly..."
"M-my friends. I vaguely remember them." Hyunjin breathes quickly, you can see that he's getting upset quickly. "They wanna take me away from you."
"I won't let them." you quickly shake your head.
"What are we gonna do?" he asks, clenching his fists and you gently grab his hands, trying to soothe him.
"We're gonna... leave."
"Leave?"
"Yeah, I have a house my aunt left me up in the mountains. I don't think they can find us there. For now, until we think of where to go next." you start planning immediately.
There was no way you would let anyone take Hyunjin away from you.
"But, what about your job? And your things?" Hyunjin bites on his lip.
"I don't care. All I care about right now is making sure you're safe." you smile at him, your hand coming up to caress his cheek.
Hyunjin smiles, leaning into your touch and wrapping his arms around you.
"Thank you." he whispers into your hair.
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You get a call from an unknown number the next day, but one quick google search tells you it's the company Hyunjin came from.
You packed one bag of a few essential things you'd need, leaving most of your belongings behind.
"Y/n! There's a black van posted outside. It's been there for hours. They're looking at the building right now." Hyunjin announces and you make your way to the window, half hiding behind him.
"We need to use the fire exit." you declare and Hyunjin nods as he turns to you.
"I won't let them take you. I promise." you hold his hands.
"I trust you, my angel." he smiles and you kiss him gently before the two of you exit the building, quickly entering your car.
You step on the gas, and reach out to hold Hyunjin's hand in yours.
As you speed off into the sunset, hoping for a better tomorrow, a black van rounds the corner, following you from afar...
✨Taglist: @moonchild9350 @janepg @velvetmoonlght @hwanghyunjinismybae @jehhskz @porangporangmeong @laylasbunbunny @laughatdanger @jeonginslefthand @sapphirewaves @simpforleeknaur @s3ungm1nxxl0ve @lixies-favorite-cookie
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underskz · 4 months ago
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➪ ‘TIL NEXT TUESDAY
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➪ mark lee x cisfem!reader ✩ w.c 8.5k — NSFW ✩ 18+ minors dni —
✰ NON-IDOL AU
pov: you're a camgirl with a secret admirer who's a little (okay maybe a lot) obsessed
note: y'all do not understand the pain,,, the struggle,,,, the trauma that this fic has inflicted upon me <//3 i quite literally started writing it last year on mark lees stupid lil bday and have been typing away at it for so mf long and have had to dig into the deepest filthiest depths of my brain to finally finish this,,,,, anyways welcome to my twisted mind and we can all blame mark lee my greatest enemy,,,, i hate u… anyways pls make note of the warnings !!! btw don’t ask me what website they’re using idk i couldn’t be fcked to think that hard
warnings: NSFW CONTENT, aka smut, obsessive behavior, viscerally lewd comments, uh lying LOL, wolf in sheep’s clothing energy (good church boy mark lee and his hidden demons <3), honestly both reader and mark r freaky (aww they match each others freaks!), readers thinly veiled shame kink, unsafe sex/no condom, barely any prep lol, not beta read bc im a full send girl (sorry for any typos etc LMAO)
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There’s clearly something wrong with user ‘66golden_boy99’ and you can’t quite figure it out. Sure, he seems to be just another fan of your work. And maybe his comments tended to be on the imaginative side.
i wanna dick you down til next tuesday
stuff your guts this thursday and stay buried in you thru the weekend
til youre cryin to me about how you can feel my dick in your throat
how pretty would you cry for me?
That little voice in the back of your head whispers (the one that sounds far too much like Donghyuck), an annoying little I told you so, someone was bound to get obsessed. It wasn’t like you never considered or even feared the possibility. 
But these comments, this person, there was something there. You click into a different video, scrolling down to a specific cluster of comments.
i wanna ruin you so fuckin bad
ruin that pussy for anyone else
wanna hear you beg me to stop 
until it turns into begging me for more
sound fun sweetheart?
Every video, every clip, every single little teaser you post; there’s a thread from him. His stupid username right there, ‘66golden_boy99’ and a digital paper trail that ranges from being unforgivably horny to borderline demented and most of the time a combination of both. 
fuck if i could keep you in a little cage…
i’d fuck u every day all day
turn you into my perfect little pet
made just for my cock
don’t you want that too?
You can’t help but let your mouth gape at that one, a cage? Your head spins at the thought, trying (and failing) to not let your imagination wander.
There’s a certain thrill that crawls down your spine, twisting itself deep into your gut and lodging itself there. An ache that you can’t quite sate yourself, barely sated by these comments. 
So yeah, there’s definitely something wrong with user ‘66golden_boy99’ but that could only mean there’s something wrong with you.
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“Mark, read this! Isn’t it insane?” Donghyuck all but smacks him in the face with your phone.
“Oh! Um.” He immediately flushes, no doubt flustered by the nature of the comments along with the fact he’s one of your few friends who still gets a little red in the cheeks by your choice of profession. 
Good church boy Mark Lee at your service. Who thankfully plucks your phone from Donghyuck and passes it back to you— most likely to avoid further being subjected to such filth in broad daylight. 
“Don’t bust a tit Hyuck, it’s just some dude living out his freaky fantasy while hiding behind a screen.” You knew it was going to be brought up the moment you saw your friends, but you had hoped that Donghyuck would have the decency to not mention it while seated outside a popular cafe on a busy street.
Jokes on you for thinking he could keep his cool about this. The moment you had sent a screenshot to the group chat Donghyuck had been rearing for a fight, overly scandalized and always righteous whenever he thought his friends were being treated badly.
There was no way in hell you’d tell him those comments piqued your debased interest.
“It’s a little creepy.” Jungwoo settles on, stealing a blueberry off of your parfait. “He doesn’t message when you’re live though.”
“Nope, only comments on clips and videos.” You bite back your disappointment, maintaining an almost clinical tone.
“Does he even watch your streams?” Jungwoo questions as he attempts to swipe a strawberry this time, narrowly thwarted by you whacking his hand with your plastic spoon. 
“What difference does it make? He’s a fucking perv!” Donghyuck snipes.
The answer is yes, he does watch every single one of your streams. Occasionally donates too, yet no messages. No live interactions.
“Hyuck, my whole fanbase are pervs.” You ignore the glare of an elderly woman as she passes by your table. “When did you become such a prude?”
It’s enough of a jab to send the man into a fit, ranting and raving about how he’s perfectly freaky enough and that his boyfriend(s) is (are) so into how weird and kinky he could get. 
“Seriously though, is he scaring you?” Mark whispers, careful to not catch Donghyuck’s attention lest he starts laying into you about your “creepy” admirer again. Mark’s considerate like that.
For a moment you sit with the question, mindlessly spooning around your half eaten parfait. Were you scared? You knew full well you were bound to deal with the occasional creep when you decided to pursue camming as a full-time job after university. 
But you weren’t— aren’t scared, initially you had maybe been a bit unnerved. Yet you hadn’t shared the messages because you wanted your friends to “save” you or anything. More so because you were shocked by the sheer audacity and of course by what was being said.
If Donghyuck wasn’t so busy talking about getting spit roasted much to the horror of Jungwoo, he’d be pestering you for the answer too. And you would’ve lied, told him that you were a little nervous but nothing that’d keep you from carrying on as usual.
Instead you have Mark asking, no trace of judgment behind his thick rimmed glasses, just a curious glint with a healthy dash of concern for a friend.
“He’s not.” Is what ends up coming out. It’s simpler than the whole truth, cleaner as well. 
You couldn’t admit to one of your best friends that it sent a thrill down your spine, to have someone so obsessed they comment utter depravity on every post you make. That you’ve checked to make sure this mystery creep was watching your every stream. And that there’s nothing you’ve ever wanted more than to be craved so deeply, to be ached for, to be someone’s sole obsession. 
“If you do get freaked out or anything, uh understandably so, we’ll figure something out. I’ll beat him up?” Mark offers one of his dorky smiles, and despite his statement inspiring little hope — seriously Mark is way too sweet to ‘beat’ anyone up — you still appreciate the sentiment. Offering him a big spoonful of whipped cream and strawberries for his valiant statement.
“Hey! Why does Mark get fed and I have to fight for a crumb?” Jungwoo cries out only causing you to roll your eyes and spark even more outrage from him.
You're thankful that the rest of the outing goes on without another mention of a certain fan of yours. Though Mark seems to be shooting more indiscernible looks your way than usual, but that’s easy to chalk down as him just projecting his own anxieties onto you.
When you all start to bid farewell Donghyuck wastes a few minutes to preach about the dangers of internet strangers, while Jungwoo goads and teases him until his nagging is turned onto Jungwoo.
Again Mark offers comfort — though you really have no need for it, considering the fact you honestly are enjoying the debased behavior more than you maybe should — and you pretend to appreciate it.
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needa fuck you over and over and over
til your pretty lil pussy is gaping open
so i can see the way i paint you up inside
wouldn’t you like that?
Yes, you dig your teeth into your bottom lip, fuck yes.
You had just posted a teaser for your next video, a simple reaction to some random threesome video your subscribers had begged you to watch. 
And as always without fail, only a few minutes after you’ve hit post your phone lights up with notifications from ‘66golden_boy99’. You should hate how much you look forward to it— how you’re practically gagging for it (him).
You remember his first thread of comments, remember the scandal that pumped through your veins as the words registered in your brain. 
The thrill.
well aren’t you a sweet thing
He had started it off so normally.
you look like you dont care for just any kind of fun
you look like u need to be fucked within an inch of your life
thrown around and violated like a stupid little toy
i could do that
It’s the only time he hadn’t ended with a question. The only statement needed to stake his claim, to solidify his place. 
It planted the seed right in your lust ridden mind, the growing need to see more and more. It becomes a sick little ritual, to go looking for his comments just after you tuck yourself into bed under the guise of resting for the day. 
You’re desperate enough to reread old ones, to stare at the same comments from days or even weeks ago. Sometimes he’ll throw you a bone, coming back to leave another thread of comments for you to find. 
wanna fill you up so bad
make you take it over and over and over
til my cum is dripping outta you for days
so that all that’s in your pretty head is the thought of my cock pumping you full
wanna make it happen?
Maybe it’s the way you’ve never replied to them, or even acknowledge them in a stream. It doesn’t deter him from continuing, his perverted dedication proving something to you. Something twisted and delicious and all too tempting.
need you so bad
just need to use you over and over and over and over so fuckin bad
turn you into my own pretty fleshlight to use whenever i please
just wanna use you all up baby
how much can you take?
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Thursday streams are one of your three weekly streams, and while it had marginally less viewers therefore profit than your Friday and every other Saturday ones, it was by far your favorite.
The chat is far more relaxed, which means you have a better chance to interact with viewers, to have a more intimate stream.
It means you can instead sit at your desk, dressed in nothing but an oversized white tee, playing with your hair and batting your lashes. While making idle conversation as your viewers dutifully pay you compliments and donate small amounts as a hello.
66golden_boy99: hey there
“Oh? Golden boy? And here I was thinking you weren’t interested enough in having a live convo with me.” You wonder if he waited for this, a Thursday stream with an even lower than usual number of viewers to finally send his first message in chat. Was your little freak shy? Only able to sling his filth when nobody was paying attention?
Too late for that, he was in your sights now. 
66golden_boy99: nah just liked sitting here and watching you too much
“Is that so?” You feign distraction, looking off towards the side as you tap your chin thoughtfully. “But here I am, doing nothing. Isn’t that boring?”
There’s a flood of no’s in the chat, messages ranging from horny to sweet about how some like just chatting and others saying that you should at least take off your shirt.
“My shirt? It’s only been twenty-ish minutes since I’ve started and you all don’t wanna butter me up first? Tell me how pretty I am?” You’re accused of being a tease, which is of course your exact angle. Some of them bite, sending cooing comments about how they’d love to see your shirt off, some going as far as to send in a few dollars. 
$200 from 66golden_boy99
it’s okay sweetheart, show em what’ll be mine
Your jaw drops, because while he had tipped in the past, it was never this much. You can’t help the shiver that itches down your spine, ‘what’ll be mine’ he says, like he already has you in the bag.
“Aww you wanna see me that bad? Everyone say thank you to Golden Boy!” You goad, making a show of hooking your thumbs in the hem of your shirt. Slowly you drag the fabric across your flesh, inch by inch exposing how you truly had nothing under your flimsy excuse for clothing. 
66golden_boy99: and where’s your thank you?
“That’s right, you were so generous after all, I should give you a little treat to show my appreciation.” Again you flutter your lashes. “How do you want me?”
66golden_boy99: spreading your legs like a desperate slut
66golden_boy99: wanna see you fuck your fingers
66golden_boy99: cmon babe show off your perfect pussy and open yourself up for me
“Anything for you.” And maybe you’re a little fucked in the head for how much you mean it. 
You’ve never had a favorite before. Nobody in your chat, comments and so on have ever caught your attention. They’ve never bothered to be so interesting, to be so openly obsessed.
Slowly you let your hands wander, cupping your tits before letting your fingertips dance along your ribcage, inching down, down, down. 
You pathetically think of him, wonder who’s on the other side of the screen. It could be some old man, or some greasy incel, maybe it’s someone you’ve met on the street. It could be anyone, and it sickens you almost as much as it excites you.
Carefully, you plant your feet on the edge of your desk, sliding down a few inches in your chair as you spread nice and wide for the camera. 
“This what you want?” The words jumble in your mouth as your fingers continue to  find their way south. You dig your nails into your thighs, moaning loudly at the bite of them into your tender skin.
Shame was something that had long escaped you in this field of work, only the tastefully faked sense of it ever gracing you these days. But there’s that all too familiar burn crawling back into your chest after almost years of nothing. Scorching away at your insides as your fingers drag along your waiting pussy. 
You’re wet, you’re wet and it’s because of some fucking freak on the internet. Your eyes zero in on the chat, hoping to catch a comment from him.
66golden_boy99: fucking perfect for me always so good
It’s all you need to keep going, to let wanton moans tumble out left and right as your back arches into your own touch.
The sense of shame doesn’t diminish, doesn’t fade as you tease your clit and pump your fingers pitifully into your sopping cunt, loudly bemoaning the fact you didn’t grab a toy. 
66golden_boy99: you’ll cum just like this baby, no toys, just your fingers and wishing it was me instead
“Nnn- please.” It’s whiner than you’ve ever heard yourself, because goddammit you are wishing it was him. Old man be damned he had a wicked way of speaking, of sneaking into the dark recesses of your mind and ripping you open. Exposing a side of you that you’d long since buried, a side of you craving to be devoured wholly.
Pleasure snakes through your body, dropping down into your belly as you cum with a whimper. You make a show of bringing your fingers to your lips, tongue flicking out to taste yourself, that sick part of you hoping it makes him want you more. 
You slump against your chair, mindlessly answering chats as you fix yourself into a more comfortable position. You don’t bother looking for your shirt, letting your viewers enjoy watching your chest rise and fall in panting breaths, admire the way the sweat gleams on your skin.
You hope his eyes are glued to his screen. You hope you’re driving him absolutely insane.
“I fear I might be tapped out for the night, but don’t worry there’s always Sunday.” You manage to get out a real sentence, your brain still a little mushy from the post-orgasm haze. “Sweet dreams everyone!” 
You take a moment to let the chat fill with well wishes, a few more donations and scan for a message from one user in particular.  
66golden_boy99: good night sweet thing, dream of me
And oh, you just might. 
Ending streams were nothing special, just a click of a button and your privacy was all yours again. Leaving you with a plethora of thoughts, a tiny remnant of that formerly elusive shame and a craving for something or more accurately someone. 
Send a friend request to 66golden_boy99?
What did you have to lose? What did you have to gain? 
There’s a little angel on your shoulder in the shape of Donghyuck, your ever annoying moral compass, telling you to go shower and to never feed into this anonymous man’s delusions again.
While the little devil on your shoulder shaped like Yuta does nothing, sits there and smirks at you knowing full well you’ll choose his route. 
You always do. 
Sorry Hyuck.
Friend request sent!
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Three days go by, no comments, no messages on stream, nothing. Absolute silence.
You can’t help yourself but watch each excruciating second tick by, waiting for something, anything from him. Three whole days of obsessively checking your phone, every social media tied to your occupation and nothing.
It’s like he up and fucking forgot about you. And maybe three days seems too short of a timeline to be losing it, but this is a man who has been all over your account — and notifications — for months.
And he gets scared off by a friend request. 
God, you should’ve known better than to trust Yuta, even if he was just a figment of your imagination at that moment. Though the real Yuta would’ve said the same thing anyway, therefore still making this whole ordeal his fault.
But as fun as blaming your friend and obsessing over whether your twisted little admirer would accept your request, let alone give you something to work with nowadays. It was driving you up the fucking wall. 
You need a distraction, and you need it badly.
Your usual and immediate reaction to having nothing to do and needing attention would be to ask Donghyuck to go out and do something stupid, but the lucky bastard was on vacation with his boyfriend(s?) probably getting fucked into the new year.
So you’re left to consider your options but Jungwoo is definitely still at work and Yuta just left to visit his family. And your other friends lived too far.
That only left you with Mark. God, you need more friends in close proximity. Not because you don’t like Mark, you adore the man if anything and still consider him one of your best friends. It's just that despite all the years of friendship the two of you just haven’t figured out how to quite mesh conversationally like the others. 
You need more spark, conviction. Mark Lee talks like a wet noodle came to life and decided to use ‘yo’, ‘dude’ and ‘woah’ on a permanent rotation. 
At least he’s a great listener.
And since he’s one of your closest friends nonetheless, he would have no problem with you coming over to eat his snacks and lounge on his couch while he works from home. 
So you shoot him a text.
TO: marky markmarkly sparkly can i cum over ;P 
FROM: marky markHaha sure dude! I told you stop spelling it like that > < 
TO: marky markprude be there in 10 want coffee ?
FROM: marky markSure! Caramel latte please :3 
He even texts like a good and innocent church boy. But he’s definitely had girlfriends, and that one boyfriend, so there’s no way he’s a virgin. Is it possible to be a blushing virgin in spirit and at heart?
“Hey beautiful, what can I get ya?” The barista’s stare is nothing short of sleazy, not even bothering to make eye contact as he tries to magically see through your clothing. 
“I’ll take a caramel latte, lemme double check what my boyfriend wanted, hmm just a regular coffee.” And okay it’s a little demeaning to Mark to switch your coffee orders in front of this greaseball. 
The boyfriend comment works well enough, if you take the guy opting to just stare at your ass as you walk out the door instead of bullying you for your number a win.
Thankfully Mark's apartment is just around the corner, and somehow you manage to key in the code not once but twice despite carrying two drinks.
“Marky! Coffee!” Immediately he comes tumbling down the hallway, eyes wide with confusion. His hair is sticking up in different directions, his glasses crooked and half-hanging off his face. His sweat stained white tee, and low hanging gray sweats only the cherry atop the homebody trainwreck sundae of a man before you.
“Hey, yo, shit! Uh dude!” He stops a few steps in front of you, scratching his head sheepishly. “I thought…you would take longer.”
“Do I look like Jungwoo? Or worse, Yuta?” You feign offense with a dramatic gasp. 
“Nah! Ha…ha, um come on in, it’s a fuckin’ mess but like you know, ‘m swamped with work and…”
You hand him his latte and push past him, barely batting an eye at the nightmarish state of his apartment. There’s mountains of paperwork and books stacked along the walls, empty food boxes, bags and wrappers scattered across the floor (along with any other available surface) and you’re trying desperately to not gag at the state of his kitchen.
“Johnny would clean?” You muse as you kick aside an empty pasta box. 
“Johnny would clean.” He sighs. Johnny, being Mark’s roommate, along with (one of) Donghyuck’s boyfriend(s???) is currently on vacation. On top of that, from what you've heard, he’s barely been at the apartment at all the past few months. Definitely too busy catering to every single one of Hyuck’s whims and dramatics.
“I could help?”
“Woah! I couldn’t ask you that, I made this mess on my own. I’ll clean it er.. eventually.” He gestures loosely.
“Mark Lee.” You muster up your best deadpan tone. “I’m so bored I’m gonna chew my own hand off, please let me help you clean your awfully disgusting apartment.” 
“That bad?” He snorts.
“I think that pile of dust moved on it’s own.” At least you’re hoping it’s a pile of dust and not some undiscovered rodent that thrives in the apartments of bachelors with piss poor cleaning habits.
“…I think you’re right. Hey um, lemme just shower and change, I think I’m just as gross as this place. We can clean together. So just…” He shoves aside the pile of laundry inhabiting the couch just enough to give you a place to sit. “Sit for a second?”
The poor guy looks like he’s on the brink of a meltdown, and if you didn’t know Mark as well as you do you would’ve called an ambulance. But he just always has that air around him, exhausted and overworked— but always smiling through it.
“I’m in no rush.” You pat his arm before taking a seat in the space he so generously carved out for you. The second Mark walks off to the bathroom you make yourself nice and comfortable, switching on the TV, straightening out some of the magazines and assorted papers on the coffee table. 
Mindlessly you even start folding some of the laundry next to you. The thought of taking pictures and sending them to Donghyuck so he could show Johnny just how far his roomie has fallen in his absence promptly interrupts your side task.
But to your dismay you find your phone is barely holding on by a few measly percentages. Looking around the living room you know there’s definitely no hope in trying to find a charger on your own. So instead you head off towards the bathroom, following the sound of the shower pouring down.
“Mark!” You knock harshly, hoping he can hear you okay. 
“Yeah?” His voice comes through clear, sounding only a little startled by your sudden presence.  
“Need to charge my phone!” 
There’s a moment of pause and you can only assume it’s because his room is so hellish he can’t even remember where he put the thing.
“By my bed!”
“Thanks!”
His room is actually better than the living room and kitchen, not by much, but still better. You navigate around the clothes and books strewn about the floor. Giggling at his wastebasket full of balled up tissues and a used up bottle of lotion, you definitely couldn’t wait to tell Donghyuck when he gets back. 
Making fun of Mark was an art, a beloved pastime of your friend group. And he always took it like a champ.
You plop down on his unmade bed, looking around for his charger. It’s half under the bed when you spot it, tugging the cord only for there to be a bit of resistance. Carefully you lower yourself to the floor, yanking at the charger and forcing Mark’s IPad to come flying at you.
“Shit!” It lands next to you face down on the hardwood and you pray to whatever gods that you haven’t cracked it. Slowly you pick it up, carefully flipping it over as you prepare yourself for the damage.
“Oh, my god.”
Because it’s not cracked, it’s not even locked, it’s still open to what Mark had been watching last to be exact.
One of your streams, one of your streams with you bent over one of your pillows, both holes stuffed with toys in the perfect position for the camera to see everything. It’s not even a new video, you haven’t done anything like that in months. 
There’s a blur in your vision as you shoot up, lightheaded from standing up straight so suddenly. A scorching heat begins to burn in your gut, creeping through your veins. 
You can still hear the shower going, and you know it must be wrong, to go through his private device like this but…it’s you. He’s been watching you, one of your most bible-thumping, prude-built friends who can barely look you in the eyes and blushes whenever you or your friends make dirty jokes, has been watching your debaucherous streams and has never said a word. 
Sure, Yuta and Jungwoo have confessed to watching more than once and Donghyuck is a fucking mod for your streams. It never bothered you if your friends watched, it wouldn’t bother you now.
But this is…this is different. He kept his viewership a secret, and you weren’t sure what to make of it. Was he too embarrassed to say? Was he afraid it’d ruin your friendship?
You close out the video, looking through his watch history which consists solely of your videos, looking at who he follows — you, only you, and you can’t tell if that’s a good thing yet — and now the used tissues in his trash bin don’t feel so funny anymore. 
“Oh.” You mutter lamely as you open up his comment history. Fucking oh. 
66golden_boy99: wanna fuck you with my tongue til youre squirting all over my face
And your world collapses, punctuated by the sound of the shower turning off— yet that’s lost on your ears. You can’t hear anything but the furious pound of your heart trying to dismantle your ribcage, your blood rushing through your veins and sloshing around your head. 
Mark Lee, sweet, kind and innocent. Mark Lee, who stutters just talking about who he likes. Mark Lee, the resident saint of the group.
Is him. 
The man who’s been peddling filth into your mind, who’s been haunting you every time you decide to start your stream or post a video, skulking around every comment section with your name on it. 
Is Mark fucking Lee.
“Heya! Did ya find…it.” It’s cinematic honestly, the way his stride slows as his eyes frantically flicker back and forth between you and the IPad. “Y-Y-You!”
It’s instantaneous, his face turning a brilliant crimson as he trips over himself to grab the tablet and throw it haphazardly to the side.
His chest is heaving, panic creasing his features as you look him over. He kept the same color scheme, you think emptily, white tank top and gray basketball shorts. It does nothing for your brain as you stare at him mouth agape.
“I c-can explain?” He has the audacity to squeak, to look ashamed even. He’s trying to hide behind his bangs as they fall over his eyes, trying to look so innocent despite his filthy secret coming to light.  
“Why didn’t you accept my friend request?” It’s probably not what you should open with, and Mark’s jaw simply hanging open at the question might be a testament to that.
“…What?” His croaks, voice hoarse.
“You didn’t accept it, why? And where have you been, it’s been three whole days? I’ve been fucking waiting for—”
“You’re not mad?” His voice is still uneven, and even a pitch higher. 
“Mad? Mad? I’m pissed, you, you idiot!” And you are. Probably. Your mind so fucked from trying to comprehend this newfound piece of info you don’t even know where to begin with how you’re feeling. So mad must be the best place to start. 
“For months I’ve been wondering who had the fucking balls to send these freaky borderline insane comments.” He flinches. “Wondering just who the hell was making me feel like, like…that.”
“I—”
“And it was you! Right under my nose, looking at me with those stupid round eyes and big glasses a-and you just pretended like you knew nothing? …I got off to you on stream?” You hate the way your voice sounds so high in your ears, teetering on the edge of full blown shrieking.
“Please, I’m sor…”
“When Hyuck showed those comments were you even ashamed?” You hiss.
He’s blubbering now, eyes pinned somewhere to the ground; half cooked sentences or maybe excuses scattering about the floor with the rest of his mess. It’s all lost on your ears, a million different thoughts in your head drowning it all out. 
His hands raise as if admitting defeat, even beginning to back away in a pitiful attempt at escaping but like hell you’ll let the fool get away from you now. 
“Goddammit, Mark Lee, look at me!” And he does, his mouth snapping shut and eyes focusing on you. His stupid glasses are nowhere to be seen, giving you an unfiltered front row view of how his pupils are blown wide. “Did you mean it?” 
“Mean…what?” You could kill him, you really could because how after all these months of sending you towards the edge with the crudest, filthiest words he can barely say a proper sentence standing before you.
“Any of it! All of it, was it all just talk?” You must’ve hit a nerve. He’s silent again, eyes narrowing for a moment at the accusation. But it slips away, a fickle persona he shoves down. 
His hands lower to his sides.
“...What do you want?” His voice is more even, eyebrows knitting together. 
You know what he’s asking — he was obvious like that, his heart always worn so proudly on his sleeve — because even now with his disgusting secret out in the open between the two of you. He has the audacity to try to take the gentlemanly route of getting you to explicitly state what you want from him, if you want him. 
When all you’ve been waiting for was for him to take.
“What do I want, huh? Let me tell you what I think first.” You know this will definitely make or break what happens next, and maybe even your friendship. But you’re sick of his games, of dancing around whatever the hell was going on between the two of you. “I think you’re all bark and no fucking bite, I think you hide behind a screen because you’re a coward and you probably couldn’t fuck your way out of a wet paper bag.”
His eyes narrow once more.
“You hide behind your good little god fearing boy next door persona when you’re a freak who likes watching one of his best friends get off on camera!” 
He takes a step closer.
“I think you’re filthy and depraved, a repressed weirdo with disgusting kinks. A borderline incel!”
And another step.
“I bet the second you actually got inside of me you’d cum and cry yourself to sleep in a matter of seconds.” His expression darkens at that, and now you’re starting to think that you should stop. 
But where’s the fun in that?
“You couldn’t handle even half the shit you said online, you cowardly little prude, you tiny dicked—”
You don’t realize his hands are on you until you're backed against the wall, one tightly gripping your hip while the other lands on your chest keeping you firmly in place.
“You never shut up. Even in your streams and videos you're constantly yammering on, whimpering and whining and begging.” His voice is low, buzzing around your ears and in your head. You look down at the tent forming in his shorts, mouth drying and watering simultaneously.  
“That for me?” Your tongue feels thick as you look up at him through your lashes.
The hand on your chest inches up, until his palm settles against your throat and you're left wondering if he’ll indulge you by tightening his fingers. Even just a little.
“Even now, can’t shut the fuck up.” He moves in closer, until his hardened cock is against your thigh and he’s forcing his knee between yours. “I asked what you wanted, not for you to insult me.”
“You-”
“So I’ll tell you what I want.” And you feel so wildly out of your depth, there’s a cognitive dissonance you can’t quite escape. Good church boy Mark means wholesome activities, ice cream in the park, farmer’s markets and, and–  
“And then you’re gonna try again for me.” 
“M-Me?” It comes out lamely. Is this really Mark Lee? You think belatedly. Looking at you like he wants to tear you apart inch by inch with nothing but his teeth and tongue.
“I want you on my tongue, on my cock, want you begging for me to stop but it’s all just a filthy fucking lie. I want you to want me to ruin you, this, us.” His voice is raspier, laced with a desperation and craving you’ve never heard before and damn do you need to hear more, so much more.
“So try again. Tell me what you want.” And you can see it, that plea in his eyes for you to just say it. To know you want this as badly as he does, the promise, the threat of him finally letting go looming over the two of you.
“Want.” You grab him by the face, pressing your nose against his and staring into the black depths of his pupils. “Want good boy Mark Lee to die right before my eyes, wan’ you to eat me ‘til nothin’ is left.”
It’s slurred, you’re delirious, so drunk off the way he’s already hard off of you screaming at him (or maybe it was getting caught), at the way he’s demanding you to express your want for him when you’d rather just be on your knees.
But the thing is you always have wanted, craved. That underlying itch to see one of your best friends let loose, the borderline wanting (what you thought was) a random stranger to break into your apartment and do filthy, unmentionable things to you. When you flipped over that IPad thinking you broke it to find yourself being the object of his debauched desire, when you saw his username on the site. 
You ached.
It’s stupid and toeing the line of embarrassing with how badly you want, no, need him, how turned on by the fact he doesn’t even know which person to be in front of you. Doesn’t quite know how to be both.
“Let him die.” Is all he can say, having the audacity to take advantage of your stupor to kiss you. To push you back up against the wall and slot his lips against yours, pulling back just to dive back in before you could truly feel his absence. Over and over each one messier, hotter than the last as a debaucherous hunger flows between the two of you.
“You don’t get it.” He mumbles, pressing himself firmly against you, sweat starting to prickle against your skin. “When y-you started camming I didn’t know what to do with myself.”
And suddenly you could see it, vividly. Just behind your eyelids was Mark hunched over in his bed, one of your streams or videos playing in the background as he furiously chased his release. Only to be left wallowing in the shame of jerking it with cheap lotion to you, forced to clean himself off with even cheaper tissues and spending the rest of his night completely alone.
“Your perfect fucking pussy, for everyone to see…when I’ve been waiting.” He rasps, hands finding their way back onto your body. “Couldn’t stand it, couldn’t fuckin’ stand it.”
“Mm, Ma-ark…” Without hesitation he twists his head, allowing himself to sink his teeth at the base of your throat. Pulling away to focus another dark look at you, that heady mixture of unmitigated want and wicked promises swirling in his eyes.
“S’All I could think about, even with our friends.” He noses along your jaw, nipping at your earlobe as his breathing turns ragged. “Wanted to haul you onto the table and fuck you ‘til your head went dumb, ‘til all was left was you squealing like a fuckin’ whore while they all watched.”
There’s a cartoon halo of stars around your head, surely there is, each word from his mouth adding another to the ditzy constellation circling your brain. This is him, this is Mark ‘Golden Boy’ Lee and his once hidden (and so deliciously unhinged) silver tongue. 
“Pl-Please, oh fu— please.” His lips are back to working against your throat, and just as you try to reach up and grab at him, to try and sway him into relieving some of the tension building in the air. 
He steps back, yanking at your arm.
Yet he doesn’t give you a chance to simply fall, or even react. Instead he uses your off-kilter balance to push you onto your knees, thankful that he’s a sloppy loser when you land on a pile of clothes.
“This.” He doesn’t bother being shy about tugging his shorts and boxers off in one fluid motion. “This is how I want you.”
He pauses, as if to let you admire the view and you’re not nearly above doing so as your eyes roam so shamelessly. 
Of course he’s cut, with neatly trimmed hair adorning his groin. And though he's just above average in length, he definitely makes up in girth. You think hazily that calling him tiny dicked was definitely a lie.
Your mouth waters.
He lets out a low chuckle of all things, surely laughing at the way your eyes have widened. And maybe you did let your tongue swipe over your lips in anticipation.
“Go ahead, before I make it hurt.” His words are delayed, understanding creeping in slowly; impaired by having long let that fog of desperation cloud your mind. 
You move before you can think, nosing along the side of his cock, pressing a kiss to a cute little mole that you hope to revisit at a later date. But for now you’re flattening your tongue against the base of his shaft and dragging it up his length at a frustrating rate.
He’s heavy on your tongue, thick and heavy and so so hot, and fuck he tastes good or maybe you’re just already addicted. Doomed from the start. 
There’s a war raging in your mind, whether to try your hardest to please him with your mouth, all too tempted to hear the pretty, desperate sounds he’ll make and maybe it’ll earn you a bit of praise. Or to tease until he’s pissed off enough to throw any regard for you and your (throat’s) wellbeing out the window.
The latter is far more appealing.
Coyly you look up at him again through your lashes once more, bringing your tongue to tease at the tip of his cock, licking off a bead of precum forming.
“Are you tryin’ to blow me or piss me off?” Ah, so he has you all figured out.
“Haven’t decided.” You reply properly by taking his tip into your mouth, swirling your tongue around it before sinking further down and ignoring the slightly uncomfortable stretch of your lips. You could get used to this.
Languidly you try to mind your teeth as you sink further down, your jaw aching at the unprecedented stretch. Shallowly you bob your head, barely giving anything as you look up to meet his burning gaze.
“Enough.” He groans, clearly sick of the teasing as his hand comes around to hook his fingers around the back of your head.  
It’s enough of a warning as your hands come up to grip at his bare thighs, whimpering at the first tentative thrust. Unable to escape, knees aching and you can’t help but wonder how damp your panties will be by the time you get them off.
He’s careful at first, not to be too rough in his movements, trying to be considerate of your comfort. It’s ridiculous, and you let him know as much by stabbing your nails into his thighs only forcing him to accidentally bottom out. 
Tears well in your eyes as you choke, gagging around the sinfully thick intrusion into your throat.
“Woah! Fuck, I’m sor-”
He starts to pull away, and desperately you chase after him. But the fucker pulls out, grabbing you by the cheeks to look you in the eyes. 
“Do I have to start calling you names again?” Your voice is already wrecked, but not nearly enough, it could be worse, so much worse. If he would just fully let go. “Or are you just scared?”
He blinks at you, once, twice, those stupidly big eyes of his narrowing into something dangerous. 
“Two taps if it’s too much.”
“It won’t be.” You barely finish the sentence as he grabs you on either side of your head with both hands, pressing the leaking head of his cock against the seam of your lips, precum smearing across. You barely open your mouth before he’s shoving his entire cock down your throat again. 
You can see him, blurred by the tears stuck to your lashes, watching you with such reverence as you pitifully try to relax, still unable to avoid gagging and choking. Yet this time he offers no reprieve, keeps you firmly in place as tears stream down your face and your nails continue to dig into his thighs.
“T-That’s it, choke.” The break in his voice sends something hot through your chest, snaking through the rest of your body and creeping into your veins. How embarrassed would you really be if you came just from having your throat fucked? 
“Where are you?” Your wandering thoughts immediately cease, drawn back in by his fingers dancing along your cheekbone before settling at the back of your head.
He doesn’t even have the decency to let you catch your breath after pulling your attention, shallow thrusts turning reckless as he fucks your face with little regard for you— it’s everything you’ve every wanted from him.
It sends another surge of heat down into your belly, pooling between your thighs and now you’re wondering if your poor panties will even be salvageable after this. 
“Fuck that’s it, so fuckin’ good for me.” He bites his lip, and a part of you wishes you could be tugging on it too with your teeth. 
Use me, use me, use me. The thought fills your mind, leaving room for nothing else but Mark and his cock and your jaw and throat struggling to keep up. 
Frantically you tap on his calf, his response instantaneous.
“You good?” He pulls out again, swiping his thumb along your bottom lip to wipe away a mess of spit and precum.
“Need you,” and you could care less how your voice shakes and rasps, “need you in me so bad. Fuck me.” 
Your fingers dig into his thighs as you muster up the best pitiful look possible, silently begging for more. 
“C-Condom, need, condom.” He huffs, looking around his room frantically.
“Like hell, what happened to painting my insides huh?” Shakily you stand up, managing to push him towards the bed which he doesn’t even bother resisting. “Thought you wanted your cum dripping from my pussy for days.”
And he fucking growls, the sound so wildly animalistic you can barely believe it came from him.
“That what you want? You wanna feel me for days?” You’re on your back in a matter of seconds, his forearms landing on either side of your head to cage you in. He’s staring you down with an uncharacteristic intensity; a predator sizing up his prey.
“Ruin me for anybody else.” It comes out broken, desperation seeping from each word. How much more do you need to bend before he finally breaks?
He’s back on you, a barrage of teeth and tongue assaulting your flesh as his hands leave no part of you untouched, kneading and feeling. Just as you try to bring your own shirt over your head he pushes away your hands, allowing him to take over stripping you bare. 
Each caress of his fingers leaves a trail of fire, almost too hot to bear.  
“Please Marky, please.” It comes out high and whiny and so very needy. “Touch me more.” 
“I’ll give you what you want, just lemme…fuck lemme look at you.” He catches your wrists just as you try to bring your hands up to cover your face, pinning your arms against your sides as his eye shamelessly trace over your figure. There’s a glint of something hungry, swirled with something akin to adoration.
“Y-You like m-me, you’re obsessed.” You
“Yeah, I really fucking am.” He’s grinning, all teeth with a hint of gums that makes your heart somehow pound even harder and you know you’re well and truly fucked. “Like you s’much gonna keep you on my cock forever.” 
He lets go of your hands, grabbing at your thighs to spread them apart, callused fingers dragging up until he’s almost carelessly pressing a finger into you.
“Fuck, you can… o-oh keep me!” You whimper as he bullies one, then two more fingers into your throbbing cunt— there’s a determination bordering on desperation creasing his brow in order to prep you as quickly as possible. 
“Next time, I’ll spend fuckin’ hours doin’ this.” You whine as he drags his fingers out of you.
His hands hook under your thighs, pressing up and up until he can hook your legs over his shoulders and he’s pressing the blunt head of his cock against your hole. There’s a slight sting as he pushes in, the stretch unfamiliar and despite how wet you are some lube would’ve helped. 
But you well and truly could care less.
“I don’t care who sees this, you, I’m the only one who gets to touch, the only one who gets to fuck you like this.” He rasps, bottoming out in one harsh thrust and punching the air out of your lungs.
He’s kind enough to let you catch your breath, indulging you with a few soft kisses along your jaw and nipping at your bottom lip. But it doesn’t last long, following a sloppy kiss with a tentative grind of his hips, then a soft thrust. 
Those desperate whines you usually play up for your streams easily escaping your lips as he builds a steady rhythm. 
“Yes, yes, yes, Mark.” It’s perfect, every single thrust is perfect, the way you're folded in half, the feeling of his fingers digging into you, the strain of toned muscles under flushed skin; so fucking perfect. “Only you.”
And you mean it, fully, wholeheartedly without any hesitation. Only Mark, if that’s what he wants then you want it too, whatever Mark wants he can have.
“M’Close, fuck, I’m so close.” You whimper, raking your fingers through his still damp hair.
“Already?” It spears through your chest, harsh and burning and tears down your belly. 
There’s a split second of perfect silence interrupting the sound of skin slapping against skin, a ringing in your ears followed by the crash of your heart into your ribcage. 
Pleasure slices down your spine, rippling through your body in crashing waves and leaving your head spinning.
He fucks you through the high, any chance of a coherent thought spilling right out of your ears, his name garbled and strained as it forces it’s way past your lips. 
He slows, as if he’s about to waste both your time and do something stupid like pull out and finish on your stomach. And like hell you’re letting that happen, grabbing at his head with both hands and smashing your lips together, pulling away just enough to stare into blown pupils.
“Cum inside me, you bitch!” His teeth come down on your bottom lip, the bite of iron and tang of sweat and spit swirling together on your tongue dizzying, intoxicating. He slams back into you with a force you didn’t know he had, swallowing down a broken moan from his lips as he spills into you. 
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“I’m still gonna stream.”  The two of you have settled on his now made bed, tucked under the covers. You had no problem letting Mark dress you in a clean tee and boxers, watching sleepily from his desk chair as he made his bed before depositing you in it.
“I’ll still watch.” He hums. 
“And comment?” It brings up the matter from earlier, the one you never got an answer to. “Why didn’t you?”
“I…I didn’t know what to do. Uh, it was one thing, hiding, but then I thought you…didn’t…”
“Didn’t?” You raise your head, trying to level your gaze to his. 
“Didn’t like m- it, the comments, those messages in chat, all of it. Thought you were just tryin’ to message me to stop. And then I got scared you somehow knew it was…me.” He has that sheepish look smearing his features, a hand coming up to scratch at his nape. 
You stare at him silently, watching as his eyes bounce around your face searching for some hint of what you could possibly be thinking.
“Look where that got us, I can’t even feel my legs, oh my god you have to fuck me on stream, please!”
“H-Huh? Live? Yo I can’t just-”
“Think about it, Marky.” Aching hips and sore muscles be damned, you somehow manage to climb into his lap and straddle his thighs. “Fucking me, on camera, for everyone to see just what you do to me. I’d be so good for you.”
You can see it, what little resolve he had starting to crumble, just a little more.
“Don’t you want that?” It’s his words and he knows it, starting to see the monster he’s created. You run your fingers along his jaw, settling one hand on his shoulder while the other comes up to muss up fluffy brown locks. “Stretching me on your fat cock for my pitiful little viewers to see, wishing it was them driving me insane.”
“Baby…” The pet name from his lips is instantly addicting, and you need so much more of it.
“Please.” And now you’re not sure what you’re begging for, your body screams for you to stop, to not roll your hips against his because it’s far too soon to be fucked into the mattress again.
“If, if you don’t stop doing that.” He groans. “You’re not gonna be able to stream tomorrow.” 
You blink. 
“Wow you really are my biggest fan.”
“Huh?”
“Got my schedule memorized and everything, does that mean we could do it tomorrow? You’ll fuck me on stream tomorrow?”
“I’ll think about it.” 
“Seriously I–”
“Actually, cancel it.” He’s hooking his hands under your thighs, drawing you closer. “Don’t look at me like that, I said cancel it.”  
“Mm, I don’t know if I can go again yet.” But there’s no conviction behind your words.
“You’re fine, I’ll do all the work.” You’re fine he says, it sends a thrill up your spine right into your brain, reworking the entire chemistry in there. It had been there in the back of your mind, slipping in somewhere between finding out his secret and that first kiss. 
You’re absolutely hooked, simply addicted, to Mark Lee. 
“Okay.” You grin at him.
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alinathinkstoomuch · 1 month ago
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SAFEST THING
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pairing: aaron hotchner x wife!reader summary: rossi drops off a drunk hotch who can't help but profess his undying love for you, based on this request. warnings: flufffff, love drunk hotch who is completely besotted with you. that's literally it. he loves you, dammit! word count: 0.9k
✧ masterlist | ✧ alina's 1k bar
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Rossi could count on one hand the number of times he’d seen Aaron tipsy, let alone properly drunk. Steaming, wobbling, slurring his way through a love sonnet drunk. It just wasn’t a thing that happened. Ever. 
His suit jacket was abandoned somewhere in the backseat of Rossi’s car, which now smelled like a whiskey parlour. Rossi had cracked a window in hopes the breeze might air it out before the leather started soaking up the scent—and maybe, just maybe, sober Aaron up a little before you gave Rossi an earful for letting your husband get this shitfaced.
So shitfaced, in fact, that he apparently didn’t even remember taking off his tie, which was probably laying somewhere on the bar floor…right next to his left cufflink.
“She’s just—Dave, listen. Listen. She’s so smart. Like scary smart. And she makes it look easy, y’know?”
Rossi hummed in vague acknowledgment, eyes on the road.
“And she’s so pretty, and Jack loves her. Really loves her. He used to be so quiet and now he talks and laughs and he made her a macaroni necklace last week and said she was his favorite person ever, and I didn’t even mind, Dave.”
Rossi didn’t look over, mostly because he knew if he made eye contact, Aaron might cry. 
“I think—I think she healed us, Dave. Made us a little family.”
“You’ve mentioned,” Rossi replied dryly. “About six times since we left the bar.”
Aaron let out a wistful sigh and slumped back in the passenger seat. “She’s my home, y’know?” he said dreamily. “It’s not even a place anymore. It’s her. Just…her.”
“Mm,” Rossi grunted. “Poetic.”
They pulled up outside your home a few minutes later. The porch light was on, making Rossi shake his head. He could practically feel you pacing inside. Probably barefoot, probably annoyed, possibly armed.
He switched off the engine, glancing sideways. “Alright Romeo. Let’s get you to your Juliet before she kills us both.”
Aaron blinked up at the house like it had just appeared. He swayed slightly, squinting through the windshield. “She’s gonna be so pretty when she’s mad.”
Rossi let out a long-suffering groan and got out of the car. “Unreal,” he muttered, circling round to the passenger side just in time to catch Hotch attempting to stand up without using any of his core strength.
“Whoa, easy there,” Rossi huffed, grabbing his arm. “Let’s keep the dramatic swooning to a minimum.”
He was halfway through wrangling a love-drunk, six-foot-two, Unit Chief up the steps when the front door opened and you stepped outside, tying the sash of your dressing gown with the same expression you strictly reserved for when Morgan and Reid decided to start pranking each other mid-case.
“Oh, Aaron,” you sighed, hands on your hips. “Really?”
His face lit up like a Christmas tree. “It’s you,” he breathed, all dreamy-eyed, abandoning Rossi. “You came outside.”
“Yes,” you said flatly, stepping down to meet him. “Because you’re being very loud. We have neighbors. And Jack.” You pointed up towards the window. “He’s asleep, so hush.”
Aaron turned back to Rossi, grinning like an idiot. “Told ya she’s pretty when she’s mad,” he slurred right before he fully leaned into you with all his weight causing you to take a step back, catching him by the arms just in time. 
“You’re not even gonna help me get him inside?” you asked, glaring at Rossi over your husband's shoulder.
Rossi was already halfway down the steps, brushing his hands off. “He’s all yours, sweetheart. Goodnight and make sure he sleeps on his side. He was mixing everything Morgan ordered.”
You adjusted your grip on Aaron as Rossi disappeared down the path, mumbling something about needing a drink and a month off. Aaron meanwhile, had gone entirely pliable in your arms. Not quite dead weight, he was still trying to be helpful in that way drunks think they’re being helpful, mostly by murmuring ‘I’ve got it’ while making zero actual contribution.
“You realise I’m probably going to hold this over you for the rest of your life,” you muttered as you led him up the final step.
“I deserve that. But in my defence…you looked really good coming down the porch.”
“You want to live, don’t you?”
“Very much,” he nodded, leaning heavily against the doorframe as you flicked the light on. “Preferably in this house. With you.”
Your arms were around him again, helping him to the couch. “I mean it,” he added as he slumped on the pillows with a grunt. “You. This. You’re the safest thing in my life.”
You swallowed, your annoyance dissolving like sugar in warm water by the sincerity in his bloodshot eyes. “Let me get you something to drink before you start making me cry.”
“I know what this job does to people,” he went on, and you paused mid-step, glancing back at him. Without thinking, you abandoned your hydration mission entirely and sat down beside him. “I’ve seen it, we’ve watched it. Over and over. And you,” he continued, “you still choose me. Even on days I wouldn’t choose myself.”
You reached for his hand, threading your fingers through his, your thumb gently spinning his gold wedding band. Then you brought his knuckles to your lips, pressing a soft kiss there. “Always, baby. Now let's get you upstairs and you can carry on telling me how great I am, hm?”
That earned the faintest of smiles, crooked and sleepy. “I do have a lot more material.”
“I bet you do.”
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tags - @fandomscombine @pastelpinkflowerlife @hazzyking @bernelflo @risenqueen1521 @jazzimac1967 @camihotchner @abschaffer2 @ill-be-okay-soon-enough @pacmillo-blog-blog @stilestotherescue @kiwriteswords @anvdala @supersanelyromantic @yourallaround-simp @percysley @wowitsafemale @cinnamoncunt @keiminds @iyskgd @mystic-rox @insured-by-the-mafia @mggslover @star-crossed-sephie @tearykth @2dloveshp  @lovelystrawberry @imissaaronhotchner @justyourusualash @alexxavicry @storiesofsvu @ehedrick012110 @hopelessromantic727 @piatosniathenie @averyhotchner @softtdaisy
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stargirlygirl · 3 months ago
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you walk out on him
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zayne x fem!reader
⭑.ᐟ part two
summary: it's been one week since you walked out on zayne. both of you have been silent. cue your surprise when you get a knock at the door late at night from your ex-boyfriend.
contains: hurt comfort, angst, suggestive in text messages, zayne apologises and professes his love for you, 2.1k words
pt.1
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One week.
It’s been one week since Zayne laid those sharp, hazel eyes on you, and he’s going insane. At first, he was feeling pretty confident. You were upset and needed some space. Surely, you would message him sometime that day, asking to discuss things.
Wrong.
The second day, Zayne was still feeling confident, albeit less confident than yesterday. Leaving the apartment that morning, he notices you forgot your favourite necklace— the necklace he bought you for your one-year anniversary. Surely, you would be around to pick it up, and he would somehow catch you in the act.
Also wrong.
When he came home around 11pm that night, your necklace was still sitting on the dresser. To Zayne, the diamond looks slightly dull, or maybe that’s his teary foggy eyes. He resolves to have it cleaned tomorrow.
By day three, Zayne’s confidence in you returning is non-existent. Still no word from you, his mind races over all of the mistakes he’s made these past few months leading to this hiccup in your relationship. Looking back, it’s so fucking obvious. Not texting you daily, not taking days off, never telling you when he would be home, and not giving you his full attention even when he was at home. And it wasn’t solely because he was busy or tired. It was because he thought you could bear it.
Being a cardiac surgeon isn’t for the weak. Choosing this profession, he’s had to put much of his personal life on the back burner, especially when his work schedule got even busier than usual. But over the years, he’s learnt to grit his teeth and bear it. He enjoys it even. But why did he expect the same of you?
For the first time in Zayne’s life, he succumbs to temptation and tries his first energy drink. It tastes like medicine, grating and sour to the tongue. But nothing can compare to the flavour of your absence. Unable to sleep for the past several nights, he treks down to his local gas station and buys the canned arsenic.
Once the cardiologist gets home, he pops the tag and takes a sip. Recoiling with disgust, he finds the willpower to finish the 200 mL of poison. And now, he can’t sleep. The caffeine keeps him up well into the early hours of the morning, fuelling his attempts to type out an apology message.
I’m so sorry, darling. I want to make things right between us—
“No,” he groans, pressing ‘backspace’ with his pointer finger so hard he could crack the phone screen.
I’m so sorry, darling. I miss you terr—
My sincerest apolog—
I know that I’ve hurt you very deeply, my love. But if you’d be willing to give me another chance, I’d like to make things right between us.
Huffing, he deletes the message and throws his phone on his bed before heading to the bathroom to get ready for work.
As it hits Friday, one week after you left, Zayne is feeling confident. Confident that he can’t go on without you anymore. The energy drink catches up to him, and he almost falls asleep mid-consult. Finishing off with the patient, he has the rest of his appointments cancelled and dozes off in his office.
When he wakes, night has fallen. Gathering his bag and coat, he books it to his car and clicks ‘Start Route’ on his Audi’s GPS to Tara’s apartment complex. Once parked, he takes the elevator up to her apartment, mentally rehearsing everything he’s been meaning to say to you this past week.
…˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚…
You’re halfway through the new episode of your show when there’s a knock at the front door. It’s just you tonight, seeing as Tara’s out on a mission for the next couple of days. Throwing off your blanket, you stalk to the front door and stand on your tippy-toes to glance through the peephole.
“Go away, Zayne,” you grumble through the door.
He shifts closer, one hand on the wood as he declares, “No. I’m not going anywhere.” Groaning, you flip the lock and swing the door half open. He’s close, towering over you with dopey, wide eyes, which rake over your figure. You’re in his shirt, the sleeves rolled back and v-neck hanging off one shoulder. His gaze darts up to yours.
You sigh, “What is it?” Zayne steps back, putting some distance between you as he clears his throat.
“I’d like to talk,” he says clinically.
“Talk?” You bite back. “About what?”
“About us.”
You scoff, “I’m surprised you have the time. Don’t you have some emergency surgery to attend to?”
He shakes his head, saying firmly, “I took the night off.”
“Wow,” you say sarcastically. “Your first night off in months, and you choose to spend it with me. How thoughtful.” You roll your eyes, the pettiness bubbling up to the surface.
“Y/n.” Looking back at your boyfriend(? ex-boyfriend?), you take note of the knot in his brow. His scent wafts over to you, a mix of sweets, sweat, and… was that a Red Bull?
He sighs, “You have every right to still be angry with me after how I neglected you. But please, will you give me the chance to fix things between us?” You stare at him, thinking over his words. You’re about to respond when you notice the resident gym rat trying to sneak past. Reaching out, you grab Zayne’s forearm and tug him closer to you.
“Sorry,” you call past him.
Your neighbour mutters, “It’s fine,” as they dash off to their apartment. Hearing the click of their door, you release Zayne’s arm.
Gazing up, you huff, “Come in.” You push the door open wider with your back, standing against it and trying to make yourself smaller as the surgeon slips past you. It’s cosy inside: soft halogens, a warm vanilla candle going, and the low hum of your tv show.
“Take a seat,” you instruct, pointing to the couch. Leaving his shoes by the door, Zayne does as he’s told. His sleepy eyes are glued to you as you sit across from him, the too-big shirt sliding further down your shoulder. You must have recently showered, he thinks. Your skin is positively radiant and looks so smooth. The urge to touch you is unbearable, but he bears it. As long as he gets to speak to you, he’ll do anything.
“My eyes are up here,” you snap.
“Right,” he says quietly, heat rising to the tips of his ears. His heart rate accelerates as you two sit in almost silence for a minute.
Finally, Zayne apologises, “I’m sorry for ignoring you, darling.” Ooo, strike one. Your brow raises, and your eyes dart up and down his frame from the pet name. Fuck, no more pet names, he reprimands himself.
“You mean everything to me, and I was— I am— an awful partner for not reminding you of that every day,” he continues. Strike two. Bold of him to assume you’re still together. Not that you aren’t. You didn’t consider the sticky situation you would create for future you by walking out on him. But you appreciate his sentiment.
“I wish that I had taken the initiative to contact you earlier, and reassure you of your importance to me despite my busy schedule.” You nod, starting to like what you’re hearing. But by no means is he off the hook.
He sighs, “I took you for granted. Not because you’re not important. But I thought we could handle it. I thought you could handle my absence.” Strike three.
“What’re you saying?” You ask, your forehead creased and mouth twisted into a pout.
Zayne mumbles beneath his breath, “Fuck.” Pushing up his glasses, he clarifies, “What I mean to say is that I was ignorant of your needs, and my duties as your partner to fulfil those needs. I was unaware that you needed me to be more present in our relationship. And I was unaware of the toll my neglect took on you.” Better.
You prompt, “And so what’re you going to do about it? When it gets really busy, how are you going to make time for us?”
“Well,” he starts. “I’m going to communicate to you around what time I’ll be getting home, and make sure that if that changes, then I let you know. I’ll take a day off once a week, and we can spend it together. When you visit me at the hospital, I’ll be attentive to you. And if I can’t be, then I’ll tell you.” You hum, approving of his answer.
Zayne sighs, “But, I need you to communicate to me when you’re feeling dissatisfied in our relationship. If I’m very busy, then I want you to do whatever it takes to make me listen to you.” You chuckle. It’s short and soft, but it reinvigorates him the way an energy drink can’t.
“Whatever it takes?” You muse, your arms crossed underneath your chest, loosening.
He nods, “Yes. Grab me by the collar and give me an earful if you have to. Whatever you have to say to me, I want to hear it.” You gaze at him for a long moment, weighing up his apology and your pain. Your heart thumps in your chest, and your hands are becoming sweaty.
You pose the final question: “Why didn’t you come after me sooner? It’s been a whole week.”
Zayne avoids your eyes as he murmurs, “I… needed time to collect my thoughts as I’m sure you did.” He pauses before meeting your gaze.
“I love you, Y/n. I will always love you,” he states like it’s a fact and not a feeling. Like the only thing he’s sure of in this lifetime is his love for you.
Sighing, you slowly rise from the sofa opposite him. Stepping around the coffee table, you stand in front of him. He stares up at you, analysing all of the emotions in your eyes. They’re much gentler now.
He breathes out shakily, “Did I pass?” You smirk and run your hands through his hair, scratching at his scalp lightly and eliciting a soft sigh from him.
Zayne raises his hands slowly and reaches out for you tentatively. You give a small nod, urging him to touch you. When his cold fingers caress the back of your thigh, you shiver. They tremble as he palms your warm flesh and presses you into the space between his legs.
You giggle, “You scraped it by only one point.” His eyes almost pop out of his skull, and his jaw slackens— utterly mortified.
“O-one point?” He stutters.
You chuckle, unable to contain yourself, “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. By two points at least.” His head dips as he nuzzles your tummy.
He murmurs into his your shirt, “That’s my worst grade yet. Don’t you think you mark too harshly?”
Ruffling his hair, you quip, “No.” Your hands slide down to his shoulders and wrap around the back of his neck. His toned arms encircle your legs as he sighs into your warmth. All of the tension accumulating this past week dissolves beneath your fingertips, and Zayne finds himself rather tired. Yawning, he tenderly kisses your navel through the cotton fabric.
“Where’s Tara?” He asks lazily.
You chirp, “She’s on a mission. Won’t be back until tomorrow night.”
“Mhmm,” he hums. You two remain like that for a few minutes, content to enjoy these tender touches and each other’s presence.
Eventually, Zayne yanks you down onto his lap and cuddles with you. He murmurs sweet apologies in your ear as he strokes your thigh, twirling the hem of your shirt between his fingers. You rest your head against his shoulder and close your eyes, your hand on his heart. It beats steadily beneath your palm, a constant reminder that everything will be okay.
At some point, you doze off because when you open your eyes, you’re in Tara’s guest room. Morning sunlight streams through the curtains, and birds chirp in the distance. You stretch and turn your head to the side, eyes searching for a swathe of black hair and pale skin.
There’s no sign of Zayne. Not as you get out of bed and clean yourself up. Not even as you head to the kitchen and boil the kettle. Not until your phone pings.
You grab it, hoping that it’s him. And you grin as you pour boiling water into a mug with a tea bag in it, clicking on his message.
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masterlist
a/n: here's part two as requested! hope all of you liked it. i was gonna make him like beg, but i feel like zayne doesn't grovel. i think if it was raf or caleb, they would be on their knees pleading for a second chance, but not zayne.
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(almost) every one who asked for a pt.2 - @notsurewhattocallthisblog8888, @schnittled, @ciaradream8, @mystqyy, @syluslittlecrows, @mcdepressed290, @regalillegal, @crimsonsylus, @slimearchon
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kunawned · 12 days ago
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ᨳິ ♡ ദິ ⋆ ۪ the jjk men saying 'i love you' for the first time during sex ⋆ ꩜
𐔌 includes — gojo satoru, geto suguru, nanami kento, toji fushiguro, ryomen sukuna, choso kamo, shiu kong ᧔࿔᧓
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gojo satoru is right behind you, his cock sliding in and out of your mushy pussy with ease, his hips slamming down against your ass. his chest is pretty much flush against your back, sweat beading down both of your bodies, your whimpers and his soft groans echoing throughout the room. he feels his cock twitch and throb inside of you as your walls flutter around him and he rests his forehead on the back your head. thrusts sloppier and quicker, he says in a low voice, "oh my god. i think i love you." all you can do is let out a soft moan as he continues to stretch you out, his tip kissing your cervix in the most perfect way possible that has you moaning his name out like a sweet chant. "i really love you," he whispers, a hand coming to brush your hair back so he can place a soft kiss to the tip of your ear. your entire face turns beet red at his confession and in a quiet voice, you repeat the words back to him and that's all it takes for him to unload himself into you, filling you up to the brim with his warm seed.
geto suguru is on top of you, toned frame hovering above you with your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him in so close that you can feel his pubes tickling your own. he's going at a slow and steady pace, pulling his cock out fully before rutting back into yours for every thrust. each time, he bottoms out inside of you, hitting your clit and that sweet spot in you which has you crying out his name. you're sobbing silently at the rush of pleasure coursing through your body, head in the clouds as you grip onto his shoulders to keep you grounded. he stops his movements suddenly, simply drinking in your pretty face — your swollen lips and lust blown eyes. he brushes your hair out of your face, swiping a thumb over your tinted pink cheeks, admiring your pretty and sweet face. "i think i love you," he confesses, forehead resting on yours, breaths low and shallow. when he hears you say it back, his lips meets yours in a deep and warm kiss, never wanting to stay away from you.
nanami kento has you laying down beside him, his chest flush against your back while an arm is wrapped tightly around your torso and the other holding up your leg as he plunges his cock in and out of your warm pussy. you're taking him so well and the feel of your walls clenching him tightly, as if he would ever dare let go, has his mind going completely hazy. his deep groans rumble from his chest, making that coil in you grow tighter and begging to be snapped at any moment. your hands are fisting the sheets beneath you, the prettiest moans tumbling from your lips as he continues to hit you right in your sweet spot. "my love," he moans by your ear, his thrusts growing needier and his cock getting coated with your slick. "i love you. i love you so much." with one final thrust, he's filling your pussy with his warm cum, while that coil in you finally snaps and you cream his entire length, the both of your bodies trembling from the euphoric pleasure as you profess your love for him too.
toji fushiguro is pounding up into you, his nails digging into your squishy flesh and giving your ass a good squeeze every now and then. with the way you're clinging onto him and moaning and whimpering so cutely for him — he knows he's never felt such bliss before. it's taking everything in him to hold back from finishing too soon and he just hopes he can hold out. your cries are growing louder by the second and his thrusts are only getting sloppier and needier. you are so wet for him and his dick is throbbing inside of you, balls heavy with his cum that is begging to unload inside of you. "toji~!," you whine cutely, a string of your adorable moans following after. "fuck fuck," he growls, rutting his hips deeper into your gooey walls, making you feel him right in your tummy. "fuck you're so good. i fuckin' love you, my dollie." you scream his name out as your arousal washes over you, it gushing between your legs and soaking him entirely. he follows you right after, thick warm ribbons of his cum coating your walls white. "shit, i love you," he mumbles under his breath, holding you close to him and rubbing soothing circles on your back as you whisper those three words back to him.
ryomen sukuna is slamming his hips roughly against your ass, large hands digging themselves into your supple flesh as he rams his cock deep inside of your velvety pussy. he's letting out low noises, almost like he's purring as he splits you open, your shrill cries echoing off the walls of the room, the sound making his dick throb inside of you. he wraps some of your hair around his hand before he pulls you up, your back pressed on his chest as he growls by your ear, the sound making your pussy clench around his length. "such a pretty little thing," he groans, biting down on the tip of your ear. you mewl hopelessly, holding onto his arms to keep yourself sturdy. "love your sweet little pussy and you," he mutters, hot breath fanning against your skin. you're not sure if he meant what he said but when you say it back and you hear a tiny whimper slip past his lips, you're now sure you heard him correctly.
choso kamo is laying flat on his back as you sit atop him, lifting your hips up and then coming back down, the sight of your tits bouncing with every move making him salivate at the sight. your hands are pressed on his chest, keeping yourself steady as you continue to slam down on him. he feels the way your walls squeeze him and how your head is thrown back in pleasure, moaning his name out with no care in the world for who hears you. he's biting down his bottom lip, trying his best to contain himself so that he can hear your sweet noises over everything else. the squelching sounds of your pussy on his cock has him whining like a little pup, and without even thinking, he babbles out, "you're so pretty you're so pretty. you're all mine and i love you so much." and with that, his dick twitches and he releases warm spurts of his cum inside of you, whimpering your name as his whole body writhes beneath you. his entire face goes bright pink once he calms down and realises his sudden admission, and all you can do is giggle and kiss him as you say those three words back to him.
shiu kong has your knees pressed to your chest as he ruts his hip hard into you, groaning lowly at the feeling of your pussy squeezing him so tight. his cigarette dangles loosely from his lips, barely hanging on as he groans out your name. you're looking at him through hooded eyes, swollen lips parted as the cutest moans fall from them, getting higher and sweeter the more he buries his cock deep inside of you. when you whimper his name out, small and meek, that's when he looses all control. he discards his cigarette somewhere on to the floor and he brings his body down onto yours, embracing your form as his hips continue to plunge into your gooey pussy at a ruthless pace. "fuck you're making me fall in love with you, dollface," he whispers, the feel of your pussy walls throbbing around him making him feel almost dizzy. "fuck, i do love you," he admits, ropes and ropes of cum shooting from his dick slit and into your warm pussy. your walls squeeze tightly around his shaft, milking him for all that he's worth, professing your love for him too.
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queen-of-signs · 14 days ago
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💍Beyond the Veil: Visions of Your Future Spouse (Mini-Reading)🔮
Disclaimer: This is a collective tarot reading, so please keep in mind that it may or may not resonate with everyone. Take what resonates with you and feel free to leave the rest. Trust your intuition as you receive the messages. I'd love to hear if this reading resonated with you, so please feel free to let me know in the comments. (LGBTQ+ friendly) No sugarcoating!
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Pile 1 -> Pile 2 -> Pile 3 -> Pile 4
Pile 1
Well, this can be someone you meet online. Your FS can be an adrenaline junkie. They may spend a lot of time online. This connection can show up out of the blue when you least expect it. I'm seeing that it can be within this year. It shows that you may cut off ties with someone in your family around the time of meeting them. This can be a long-distance relationship. They can have a temper too. They can have Aries Sun/Venus/Rising in their chart. Also, they may be casually dating someone while meeting you as well. Nothing serious though.
Personality-wise, they can be a daydreamer and can cry over things that happened years ago, replaying in their mind at bedtime. Spouse would like to listen to romantic songs and may imagine them being in it, just like you. Spouse can have a social-media presence and can attract a lot of attention from people. It seems your FS could have gone through a toxic relationship in the past before meeting you, which made them lose hope in love. They're giving me "hopeless romantic" vibes. They can have really low self-esteem and poor self-worth. They can even lower their standards in order to be in a relationship. Lol, they sound desperate. When you meet them, they may constantly text you, say nice things aka what you wanted to hear, throw compliments all the way, just to talk to you. They would do anything to get your attention. You may not meet them right away as I am seeing that you may have some trust issues and you would get into your "spy mode" to learn about their past. Their past can be a bit messy, but it shows they have really worked through it. They really regret choosing the person before you. A woman. She made them lose interest in life altogether. Whatever happened between your FS and her did not end well. Like, it ended in a fight and some public scrutiny from people they know well. Your FS would really wish to forget it and move on and it's showing me that they took whole responsibility for that instead of running away like a coward.
Career-wise, they aren't following their passion. It shows a situation where they're currently stuck in a job and waiting for a time to change their job. Either the pay isn't enough or the job pays them well but on the inside, they don't like it at all. They're not in tune with their profession currently. They can have a decent group of friends with whom they would hang out regularly. I am also seeing that they may try to pursue higher education in the upcoming months and looking for universities to apply. They will succeed in it somehow.
For physical and emotional characteristics, they may wear glasses. They can have a scar in their face or have had surgery on their face. They can be bilingual and can be either an immigrant or a foreigner to you. Loud voice. Their laughter can be contagious. They may hide their opinions on certain things in order to avoid criticism from people around them. Can be a people-pleaser. If anybody ask them what kind of partner they want in life, your FS will say something but wants the opposite of that. They can be somewhat conservative too. They could have been born in April-May-June. Their Moon can fall in their 8th or 12th house.
Check out my pinned post for a complete FS reading (Whispers of the Vow)!
Pile 2
You either already know who your FS is or are still living in denial that they're not the one for you. If not both, I can see that u could be in a place where you're not ready to meet them. It may take from 1 to 2 years to meet them or even longer than that. Most of you who chose this pile can be within 25. Some of you can already be in a relationship when you meet them, or you already know who they are but are silently waiting for them to be single. This can also be someone whom you admire from afar. One-sided vibes are strong from this Pile 2. If you are admiring someone from afar, it's saying that you have a long way to go to make this person come into your life. Most of you could struggle with sleep issues here. Insomnia. Depression. Dark circles under your eyes. If you already know this person and if they are in a relationship right now, know that they are gonna be single soon, within 3 months from now.
Your FS is caught up with too many responsibilities in life and also, they're not happy right now. They have so many people to look after and are burdened by responsibilities right now. They may also have done something by not listening to their gut instinct and are currently facing the consequences. They may have also lost some connections bcoz of that. As of now, they're being quiet or letting others walk over them. Am seeing a friend or an acquaintance spreading rumors about them behind their back or doesn't have good intentions towards your FS. Your FS may have a way to come out of it and fix it but struggling to do so. They WILL work through it well and am seeing them working on their career.
Personality-wise, they can be really giving and won't like to meet new people that much. They would rather get stuck in a toxicity than go out of their comfort zone. They can be restless and may want results immediately. Learning a new hobby? If they didn't master it in a week, they are mentally checked out and move on to the other shiny thing. Your FS will talk smoothly and lovely to everyone around them. My god, I'm getting someone who won't hurt a fly. But people may take advantage of their niceness a bit too much. They can have a Mercury Rx in their chart and also heavy Virgo energy. Could have been born in Mid-June - Late August. Their mind can think of 250 words at once, but they will end up talking like 20 words. They bottled up a lot to themselves. They can be pessimistic at times and can think of the worst possible scenarios in their head at night, which may never happen in real life. They know who they're deep down and they won't share their true selves with anyone except those who are close to them. Really hardworking too.
Career-wise, they could have landed a job recently or changed their job recently in hopes of a better living. They may work in a public-facing role. Their work can be soul sucking, but it pays them well. Their career is something that they have always wanted to do since they were a teen. Whatever career they are up to now, they are a master of their craft and know how to do shit and make money. Your FS can be wealthier than you as well. They are analytical and know how to get what they want in life.
For physical and emotional characteristics, your spouse can have lighter eyes, possibly blue or grey and 1-3 shades lighter than your skin tone. Your FS can deal with migraines and might run on caffeine. They could have been born in the summer. They may like to watch horror/thriller/sci-fi movies. They might go to the gym to be fit or be on the lean side. Can be from 5'10 or more. There can be a significant age difference here. Spouse can have a baby face or look younger than their actual age. They may smoke or could have smoked at some point in their life. Money-minded. Workaholic. Neck/Back pain. Can always look like "I don't want to be here, but anyway, here I am".
Check out my pinned post for a complete FS reading (Whispers of the Vow)!
Pile 3
First off, most of you are not ready to be in a relationship, let alone your FS? If you are already in a relationship or have a crush on someone currently, they are not your FS. Your FS is someone new, not someone you already know. They live far away from you. It may take 3 years from now for you to meet your FS. Some of you who chose this pile can be homosexual or bi. You may be the one reaching out to your FS first. Also, you might meet them after you go through a major life transformation. You may meet your FS after a full moon but within the third quarter. For some of you, it will be revealed through your dreams and psychic visions. Am seeing that most of y'all are spiritual enough to handle the intensity of the unknown. Currently, your FS is out of reach to you. For most of you, it can be an unconventional relationship. Some of you may have North node in 7th, or aspecting your 7th lord. Heavy Piscean energy around you and Capricorn energy around your FS.
Personality-wise, your spouse can be stingy with money or spend it only on people they really care about. Won't help someone if they don't see a value in it. Also, they can be really inexperienced in relationships or just won't make an effort if they don't see a future with someone in the long term. You may meet them in a social gathering, in person, not online. They could have been from a home with an absent parental figure. I'm also seeing that they might have a younger sibling as well. An honest person and speaks from their heart. They can be quite blunt with their words and won't sugarcoat anything. But in love, they can be a prince/princess charming. They would go to lengths to make you theirs even if it comes with certain risks. Their inner self can be pretty stormy and if they didn't get what they wanted or spiraled into depression, they would go down the path of self-destruction. Your FS could have had suicidal thoughts or self-harming tendencies in the past. FS may not open up immediately and it takes time for them to let you in. Tough cookie on the outside but a river on the inside. They definitely cry under the sheets at night or in the shower. They may pretend everything is fine in their life. Your FS might love the rain and may have sinus issues too.
Career-wise, they are doing great, and they sound like someone who worked their ass hard to stand where they're right now. They are cautious with their money and might even dress "down" on purpose. They are not flashy and come from a respectable background. They hate to depend on others. They can be the type to pay for a dinner when going out with friends and family. They may donate to charity but won't spend a dime on that overpriced product. Humble and down to earth. They have a stable job and for some of you, your FS can be self-employed as well. They can be someone who hates loans/debts and has enough savings in their bank account.
For physical and emotional characteristics, your FS can have darker hair/eyes. For a woman, she can have long dark wavy-straight hair, THICC body and for a man, he can have head full of hair enough to style however he wanted. He can have a thick beard too but might prefer a stubble beard. Your FS may have Jupiter in earth signs or Saturn in water signs. For some of you, your FS can be close to your age and for others, they can be significantly younger than you. Also, I am seeing that some of you who chose this pile can be in their late 20s or even in their 30s,40s. Spouse can look 2-3 shades darker than you or can have a slight tan.
Check out my pinned post for a complete FS reading (Whispers of the Vow)!
Pile 4
WOW, your FS energy is coming fast. Some of you could have recently had your birthday or could have celebrated anything very recently, something personal to you. It could be a family gathering or a wedding too. When it comes to meeting your FS, you may have one person in your mind and can doubt yourself whether it's them or not. You may currently try to gain info about someone you know. It can be a crush too. But the feelings aren't reciprocated here. If you wanna know, if they are your FS, nope, they're not. You won't come to know who your FS is until you let go of the person in your mind right now. I'm seeing that you may meet your FS within next April. But it doesn't guarantee a face-to-face meeting. You might come to know who they are but meet them in person awhile later. It can happen next year. But if you didn't let go of the person you have in your mind right now, this can delay the timing even more. For some of you, it's within this year.
Personality-wise, your FS is a total package. Husband/wife material. It may even sound too good to be true for you when you hear about them for the first time. Yes, people around you would talk about them casually, and you would happen to be there to hear about them. They can be a private person and may not even have a social media presence. If so, they won't prefer posting pictures of themselves and can just have it for work. Mysterious and even people around them won't know if they're single or not. I'm seeing that they are currently single and enjoying their life with their family and friends. They can be career-minded. They are the type of person who sacrifices their sleep, health or anything for success professionally. They're currently busy and can be carrying a lot of burden on their back. Your FS can be someone who hates crowds and may like to visit places with little to no human interaction. They are good with words and hit people with surgical precision even though they know that they have a sharp tongue. Also, your FS is giving me ADHD vibes. Damn, can get easily distracted. They may do 5 things at once and finish none. They may pour their heart into a project for straight 6 months and completely abandon it one day. Small inconveniences in daily life can frustrate them. Not the one to get angry easily but the one to hold it for a long time and erupt like a volcano one day. They can be popular in their circle even though they keep things low-key and won't prefer attention.
Career-wise, your FS could hold a high-level position in a corporate role or in managerial roles. Well-paying job. For some of you, your FS can have a secondary source of income either by pursuing their passion on the side or through investments. Your Fs won't pay much attention to their personal life as they can be a busy body all day. Damn, the spirits are telling me that your FS is a machine. They are good at multi-tasking. Even if life throws obstacles on their way, they are the type to dust it off and move on like nothing happened. Unstoppable. Your FS can have a huge network of people, and they make sure to maintain a cordial relationship with their friends and acquaintances. For most of you, your FS owns a car.
For physical and emotional characteristics, your FS would be closer to your height, and you can have a 2-5-year age gap with them. They can have some nerve issues, nothing serious. They just live in a lifestyle that demands a lot from them and so they pay less attention to themselves. They may ignore signs until someone drags them to the ER. They can have a small belly or dry skin. If they are a man, they might not even take care of their skin. For a woman, she might skip meals or have poor eating choices and also body image issues. Still, their presence alone is enough to attract people. Your FS can have lighter hair or likes to dye their hair in lighter shades. Also, they can deal with constipation too. They can be a fire rising or can have Jupiter in 1st, 4th, 5th, 7th or 10th houses. Their Sun can be in the 11th or 12th house.
Check out my pinned post for a complete FS reading (Whispers of the Vow)!
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astrologydray · 4 months ago
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Ruler of the 6th through the houses
This is where we get into daily life, service, work, wellness, and routine. Think of it as your “how I get sh*t done” energy — the ruler of your 6th house shows what area of life demands the most effort, structure, or healing🖤.
6th House Ruler in the 1st House
You are your own project.
Your identity is wrapped in your work ethic and wellness. People see you as productive, reliable, and self-improving. You’re the type to biohack, optimize, or self-discipline like a boss. You serve: Yourself, your goals, your growth. Wellness style: Actively engaged with body + health. “My body is my schedule — and my brand.”
6th House Ruler in the 2nd House
You work for stability + values.
You’re motivated by security, comfort, and building something solid. You probably have a slow-and-steady daily rhythm and need to feel grounded in your routine. You serve: Through practical help + financial support. Wellness style: Nourishment, somatic care, massage. “My routine = my resource.”
6th House Ruler in the 3rd House
Your mind is always working.
You thrive on movement, communication, and mental stimulation. You may multitask like a machine and keep a busy schedule. Writing, teaching, or running errands = daily bread. You serve: Through ideas, words, and helpful info. Wellness style: Breathwork, nervous system care, mobility. “My calendar is color-coded chaos — and I love it.”
6th House Ruler in the 4th House
Your home is your office or temple.
You crave comfort and emotional security in your daily rhythm. You may work from home or be drawn to caretaking professions. Wellness comes from emotional safety. You serve: Family, home, emotional healing. Wellness style: Nourishing food, rest, inner child care. “My peace starts at home.”
6th House Ruler in the 5th House
You work with passion or not at all.
You thrive when your work lights you up. You bring creativity to your job, and you may serve others through play, art, children, or entertainment. You’re here to infuse joy into the mundane. You serve: Through performance, love, creativity. Wellness style: Movement, pleasure, artistic release. “If it’s not fun, it’s not sustainable.”
6th House Ruler in the 6th House
You were born for systems, routines + service.
You’re naturally drawn to work, health, and structure. You may have a career in healthcare, healing, or support roles. Routines come naturally — but beware of overworking. You serve: Through consistency, integrity, mastery. Wellness style: Functional, optimized, routine-based. “Structure sets me free.”
6th House Ruler in the 7th House
You show up for others.
You serve through partnerships — whether romantic, business, or client-based. Your work may involve 1:1 relationships, and wellness improves when your relationships are in harmony. You serve: Lovers, clients, collaborators. Wellness style: Balance, connection, mirrored growth. “Your peace = my peace.”
6th House Ruler in the 8th House
You work in the shadows.
You may serve through healing, therapy, finances, or emotional transformation. You’re private about your daily habits and need depth + purpose in your work to avoid burnout. You serve: Through psychological or energetic work. Wellness style: Detox, shadow work, deep rest. “My work transforms me — and others.”
6th House Ruler in the 9th House
You work from the mind and the spirit.
You may serve through teaching, spirituality, law, or travel. Daily life needs meaning. You might crave movement or a higher mission behind the grind. You serve: Through wisdom, beliefs, or worldly perspective. Wellness style: Walking meditations, breathwork, education. “My routine is my ritual.”
6th House Ruler in the 10th House
You turn routines into legacy.
Work is your identity. You’re ambitious, career-oriented, and likely to rise in your field due to your consistency. You might manage others or become known for your service. You serve: Through leadership, professionalism, influence. Wellness style: Structured, goal-driven, visible. “Work hard, shine harder.”
6th House Ruler in the 11th House
You serve the collective.
You may work within communities, collectives, or online spaces. You need freedom and innovation in your day-to-day — and you’re likely to rebel against rigid schedules. You serve: Friends, networks, causes. Wellness style: Group classes, tech tools, unconventional methods. “My work serves the future.”
6th House Ruler in the 12th House
Invisible service, sacred structure.
You work best in solitude, or in healing/behind-the-scenes roles. Your routines may be intuitive or chaotic, and wellness is deeply tied to your emotional + spiritual state. You serve: Spirit, the unseen, vulnerable populations. Wellness style: Sleep, silence, dreams, energetic healing “Sacred rest is my medicine.”
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vernoniekiss · 1 year ago
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hiii hope you are well 🥰 i wanted to request how each member would profess their love to you when they’re drunk if that makes sense
drunk svt professing their love to their s/o | [ ot13 ]
a/n: hi ! thankyou sm for the request. i’m doing quite well, hope you are too ! i think i also strayed away from the prompt too,, sorry.
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[🫧] seungcheol
- the protective drunk. wouldn’t want anyone else to touch you or get anywhere near you. afraid someone might steal you away from him, to which they can’t because seungcheol is literally the love of your life. he doesn’t even have to tell you that he loves you because his actions speak louder than words.
[🫧] jeonghan
- teases you, him with his bright red cheeks with a cheeky smile. “i didn’t know you love me THAT much y/n~” whenever you try to touch him, like holding his hands or giving him a kiss. “but don’t worry, i love you so much”.
[🫧] joshua
- flirty drunk !!!! flirts like his life depends on it, wants to see you flustered but he’s more flustered when you flirt back :/ . would also be abit clingy to you, whispering “i love yous” every now and then.
[🫧] junhui
- poor baby blabbering nonsense right next your ear. his heads on your shoulder. all you could make out from his blabber is “love yous” “you’re so pretty” “i’m so glad im your boyfriend”. pouts his lips for kisses. reminds you of a cat…
[🫧] hoshi
- also a clingy drunk 100%. would CRY professing his love to you. you’re just there awkwardly patting his back. cling onto you for the whole night,, you’re just happy to be there :D
[🫧] wonwoo
- the type to keep his hands in yours the whole night. he’ll a bit clingier than usual. he doesn’t even have to say anything but you know he loves you and trusts you when he’s drunk.
[🫧] woozi
- i remember watching him and suga ep10 and he brought tea or something instead of drinking alcohol. cant imagine him being drunk but maybe tipsy. he’s cute when he’s there blushing/ flustered at every move you do to him. blurts that he loves you randomly during the night.
[🫧] dokeoym
- he would NOT leave you alone. he would follow you everywhere you go. he’s loud, he’s loud with his love to you. whenever there’s karaoke, he’s singing a song for you, literally a song that’s dedicated to you and only for you.
[🫧] mingyu
- 101% also a very clingy and pouty drunk. very affectionate when he’s drunk too. he’s always by your side even if you move to do something. kissing you all the time, holding you at every chance he gets. “mmh i loveeeee youuu~”
[🫧] minghao
- his actions speak louder than words but i also can’t imagine him being really drunk. he’s always holding your hands, using his thumb to caress the front of your hands. forehead kisses and when he’s tired he’ll sit even closer to you and put his head on your shoulders.
[🫧] seungkwan
- if you and seventeen are all playing a game like mafia while drinking, trust seungkwan is going to defend your ass at all times “what do you mean y/n is the mafia ?! you must be out of your mind!!!” he always makes you feel involved in stuff, he’ll always keep and eye out for you. when he’s tired and drunker than he was earlier, he’ll quietly let you know that you’re the best thing that happened to him. he doesn’t wanna get teased by hoshi or anyone else hearing him say that.
[🫧] vernon
- you think it’s cute, how he’s sitting next to you, rather nearly ON you. rambling on how he loves you so much in your ear. he’s a clingy drunk 100%. always has to he touching you in any way, his hands on your thigh, interlinked pinkies etc.
[🫧] chan
- he’ll let the whole world know that his love is only for you. if you’re at the bar or seventeen, he’ll go round pointing at you and say “that’s my girlfriend. i LOVEEEE her so much”. you’d also probably have to get on your knees to beg him to stop and go home 😞.
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hey-ranjhaan · 1 year ago
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She has not just been raped and murdered, she was very much tortured and brutalized like Nirbhaya. It is all over the Bengali news. I don't understand why no one is talking about this.
A 2nd year Respiratory Medicine in a well known government medical college in Kolkata, West Bengal, India is found in a semi-naked state and the college/ hospital called it a suicide.
I'm a MBBS student in second year. After reading about her, what crossed my mind is the amount of times she would have felt this fear, before this worst fear of hers eventually materialized.
"A young resident doctor was found dead in the seminar room of her medical college in Kolkata. Initial autopsy report suggests possible rape and murder."
As all are saying,
She wasn't walking the street at odd hours. She wasn't wearing clothes that were provocative. She wasn't loitering in dangerous neighbourhoods.
She was a resident doctor, looking for a place to rest in her own hospital.
She had been on duty and had gone to rest in the early hours of Friday.
The one place which was supposed to guarantee her safety failed her, miserably.
Someone comes, rapes a female pg who is merely resting in a seminar hall because there is no proper place for her to rest, brutalized her and kills her. How did NO one know? The college and police initially call it a suicide. Excuse me? It is also being said that under pressure from local politicians, the Principal and Dean attempted to alter the post-mortem report. Autopsy confirms sexual assault.
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What are the actions taken? One man arrested because his behavior seemed "shady". This is clearly not an act of one man. And this was a very well aware of and a well executed criminal act.
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Also, all this happening in WB right when the situation of bangladesh is in turmoil and news of Bangladeshi Hindus being killed and tortured, seems wrong, VERY WRONG. Happening right before NEET-PG, as 24 lakh doctors prepare to write an exam on Sunday to be resident doctors, this news has wrapped us all in agony and rage,
What are they working so hard for? Why should they aspire to be in a system that ignores their basic needs? The minimum requirement of a workplace is safety. That should be non-negotiable.
This profession demands extereme hardwork, a lot of mental strength and Physical Assaults, harassment, low paying jobs with odd working hours with intense humiliation. Now its the worst of all seeing a bright mind losing her life in the most disrespectful state of all. This should never happen to any woman.
I'd also like to question why isn't any big media house covering this news, where are all the international news channels all this time.
What are the students in other medical colleges doing? This talks about their own safety and lives. What are the medical students across the world doing? It's time for us to stand for the most basic Human right, safety.
Yesterday when my roommate, an MBBS final year intern was heading for her night posting, I feared and prayed for her to come back safely. Thinking about it, in a few years I will also have night posting, I'll also return from my hospital duties late at night. I'll also have to go through the same fear, and I'll also have to keep praying that my worst fears don't turn into reality. So many female doctors, nursing staffs, other Healthcare workers, other working women, non-working women go through the same fear, probably multiple times a day.
It is a shame to be born in such a disgusting world and society, it is shame to witness such a brutal crime, and it is a shame to live in this fear daily.
Those RAPISTS need to be hunged infront of the whole natio...if needed burned alive. People should fear the idea of raping, more than getting raped.
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alexiroflife · 1 year ago
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"my duty to you"
fluff, pining, suggestive themes, kingdom au, (i was inspired by the dynamic in the movie "Epic" w/ queen tara & ronin or this one if yall know what i'm referencing)
bodyguard!toji fushiguro x royalty!reader
Synopsis: toji, a man raised in poverty who has been forced to turn to violence for the sake of survival, finds himself at the princess' side as her personal bodyguard
to sum it up: toji has never been fond of royalty, yet he submits to his responsibility to protect you with passion he has not shown to anything else
WC: 14,242
Warning(s): mentions of trauma, violence, assault, vaguely suggestive themes
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Toji knows he was never cut out for an uppity lifestyle.
He’s a gruff man, rough around the edges with an air of dark mystery radiating about him. He has never believed himself to be an attractive man, at least in the realm of those who make women drop to their knees and swoon with romance. He’s more fermented, well-aged, well experienced, and he has the looks of someone who has endured hell and more, not those of a freshly groomed prince blooming in his wake.
Toji, though a man of difficult upbringing, having undergone more of reality’s harsh lessons than almost anyone in this world, has a specific set of skills that comes in handy no matter the setting. He is not a man of incredible wealth, prowess, or poise, but he can associate himself with the likes of those who are by means of what he does, and what he does remarkably well. His talents are the only reason, he believes, why he has been in your service, smack in the middle of your world for teetering into two years now.
Raised in the slums, orphaned by his absent parents, Toji taught himself a way to live. He thinks that he was born hard, when he looks back, for no one else could have survived the way he had after those years of scrounging around for food, desperately searching for change and a decently comfortable pile of grass he could sleep in. As the world grew harsher, pushing against his growing mind and body, Toji pushed back harder, angrier, more solid and more grounded. He was blessed from the moment he entered this earth with unique physical qualities that gave him an advantage when fighting to live, his internal and external mold serving as an inhuman benefit, as though he was meant to struggle the way he had all of his life. As though fighting was his destiny. 
The dark haired man had encountered many different means of keeping himself afloat over the years too, some more grim than others that he refused to look back on. Nevertheless, after the will of the merciless wind had tossed him around feverishly for far longer than he realized would have been normal for anybody else, he understood that his place in this world was to stand proudly as a man capable of unspeakable violence, inept at the art of killing for the sake of his own gain. 
It’s a dog eat dog world. Toji learned this before he even hit puberty, and therefore, he learned what it meant to transition himself into one - a far more gnarly beast than any of the world’s nastiest entities of evil could conjure. If he only had the choice of eating or being eaten, Toji was going to devour before another dog could get the chance to bare his teeth at him. 
Well into his familiarity with his own brutality, his craft honed in and sharpened to perfection and his years of youth having flown by with the snap of his fingers, Toji is recognized by a crowd that he’s despised for as long as he can remember. 
He is in the middle of a boxing match, one of many he participates in for the hell of it and the cash rather than as a profession, when a representative from the palace ogles him from the crowd, standing out as a sore thumb amidst the screaming patrons clinging to the velvet ropes of the ring, drunk off stinking liquors and spit flying excitedly from their mouths in awe as Toji, undefeated, lands a particularly gruesome blow to the face of his opponent. His foe collapses, blood smearing from his crooked nose, and the jade eyed man filled with years of pent up rage and stress, straddles the nearly unconscious man’s torso and plows his fist into his face repeatedly with wild, shrunken eyes and tight lips. 
Toji only takes notice of his visitor in the midst of his abuse, eyes flickering up quickly to mull over the crowd when he finds a terrified face masked in a black cloak, attempting to shrink into the rest of the room. But Toji sees him clearly, a palace ambassador with no place in an underground ring so far from home.
The dark haired man refuses to even look at him as the owner tells him that he has a guest. He unravels the wrap from his stained fists, back tensing. Toji tells him to fuck off, not even having to whip his head around to see who it is. He can tell by his boss’ tone and the silence of the said visitor that he is exactly who he believes him to be. That, and Toji never receives visitors, for the people who are well aware of his reputation stray far away, fearing the worst from his seemingly deadly lust for blood. 
His owner, however, does not turn the man away. Toji understands that he must have been paid a good deal in jewels by this cloaked man to allow him to stay back here, not leaving until he asks for some kind of favor. An agitated exhalation rises in Toji’s chest, heavy eyes tossing over his shoulder to glare at the ambassador. He gulps, trembling hands reaching up to lower his hood.
“The fuck do y’want?” Toji spits.
The ambassador’s hesitant gaze scatters over his bare back, his fists, the scars littering his skin and lip, and the murderous glow in his venomous eyes. He looks terrified for his life, face dotted in beads of sweat and eyes still full of innocent light quivering. “I-I’m here on- on behalf of the King and Queen.”
Toji stills, brows drawing together. The man’s words seem to have an impact on his boss, normally an uncaring man, for he leaves with a swiftness once royalty is mentioned, sworn to silence by hush money. 
Toji scoffs, shaking his head and turning back around to refocus on his task. “You got the wrong guy,” he dismisses. “Now beat it before I kill ya.”
But he doesn’t, standing his ground rather poorly, clearly shaken by the fact that his life has been threatened for what Toji can only assume to be the very first time. He rolls his eyes at the sentiment, at how weak, fragile, and perfectly stupid palace folk are. “S-Sir, please-”
“Sir?” Toji raises a brow, crouching to sit down heavily on his bench, tossing his bloodied bandages onto the ground before him. His abdominals, bulky and intensely defined, ripple with his movements as he slides his towel from his shoulders, swiping it over his skin roughly. “I ain’t no sir, pal.”
The ambassador stiffens, lips pursing together. “Um- Mr. Toji…?”
Toji twists up his mouth at him unimpressed. “Fushiguro.”
“Yes! Y-Yes, Mr. Fushiguro.”
“Christ, it’s just Fushiguro.”
“Oh,” he nods erratically. “Yes, then. Fushiguro,” he clears his throat. “I’m afraid it’s a matter of great importance.”
“Clearly it is to you lot, or else your dumbass wouldn’t be here,” Toji grumbles, settling a hand on his thigh. “I don’t have time for bullshit. You either get to the point, or the King and Queen are gonna be down one messenger.”
Toji is a violent man. He has had to be violent in order to live, in order to eat, in order to sleep, and now in his late thirties, it has become embedded in who he is. Violence is his first response to every circumstance, to every person who approaches him, to every dirty look that he is thrown, to every unknown within this world that has been nothing but greedy, cruel, and selfish to him. 
Even so, he is not always keen on his word when he threatens such things. He knows that if he were to lay a hand on this toothpick, he would be hanged and quartered within the hour, and Toji isn’t too keen on allowing the kingdom dickheads be the reason his life comes to an end after he fought so desperately to even reach past his twenties. This ambassador knows this, and yet, he is still shaking like a leaf as though Toji has any authority over him, because in truth, he does here in his territory, only temporarily. Toji can use the fear he inspires and the intimidation of his capabilities and large frame to attempt to shake a palace ambassador off of his ass, but there is nothing more to his stern words other than a desire to be left alone.
“You must listen,” the little man continues to press. “The King and Queen- t-they send me for the sake of their daughter!”
Toji groans. “I don’t give a shit who they sent you for, you’re barkin’ up the wrong tree.”
“I fear they are fully aware of who they sent me to speak with,” the ambassador’s brows angle with a sense of urgency. Toji, having been bored by the conversation, rubs his fingers over the bridge of his nose and tilts his head tiredly. “N-Not many of us know about the things you do, but I was told to seek out the strongest, and you are… him.”
“What the hell do they want me for? I ain’t got shit for you pricks. Just leave me be.”
“Fushiguro,” he calls again before Toji can stand and turn away. “I understand you may not care about what the kingdom needs, but you are being offered a great deal of money. A generous salary.”
Toji’s ears perk up at this. He rises slowly, sauntering over to the man with slim, suspicious eyes and a taut jaw. Sweat glistens his bare torso, rolled up sweats hanging low on his waist. As he grows closer, the ambassador takes notice of his great size up close, and his eyes widen as he cowers away slightly from the man that casts a shadow over him completely. 
Toji stares down over his nose and tilted chin with a frown. “A salary? From the King and Queen themselves?” he repeats, and the man whimpers a hum in affirmation. “The hell is going on? What could possibly be turning their panties in a bunch to offer a job to someone like me?”
“It’s their daughter,” the man re-emphasizes. 
“Who?”
“The princess!” he says as though it is obvious, a desperate expression taking his features. “She needs security.”
“From what?”
“The King and Queen grow old, and so does the princess. Their reign is coming to an end, and with that, the princess’s life is often endangered by those seeking to take her right to the crown while her parent’s grow less capable of ruling. There’s already been two assassination attempts and one assault attempt within the past few months,” the ambassador explains, severely. “The princess needs someone to look after her, to be by her side as she prepares to rule as queen and as she looks for a husband.”
“And you want me to be her bodyguard?” Toji raises his brows.
“In a sense… yes.”
The dark haired man snorts in the ambassador’s face, the latter deflating at his reaction. “Of all people, you want me?”
“...Yes. That is correct.”
“What, the brat doesn’t have knights or something?”
“None that are capable of what you do.”
“And how the hell do you know what I do? You come to one match and think you're an expert on my life?” Toji grits his teeth, leering down at the poor man. The ambassador raises his hands in defense, stepping back anxiously. “I see everyone and everything that crosses my path. I’ve never seen you before in my life, and all of a sudden now you show up with a job offer from the fucking King and Queen. Gimme a break.”
He walks off, irritatedly throwing his towel in the corner and ripping open his locker on the other side of the room. “You’re right. I haven’t been watching you, but I’ve been asking around town about someone who could fit the role for weeks, and everyone was too afraid to mention you until a few days ago. Since then, I’ve heard stories.”
“People here like to gossip,” Toji murmurs.
“But your name scares people, right?”
“I don’t care what my name does.”
“Fushiguro, please,” he begs. “I don’t believe you are a man who cares about what happens in the palace-”
“I’m not.”
“But you must care about a sense of duty? Of justice? Of compensation, at least?”
“Obviously I care about money more than I do any of the other shit you just mentioned. But you tell me one thing,” his face hardens. “What the hell has the kingdom done for sorry asses like me, huh? Why should I be the one to help them when they haven’t helped me a day in my life? They’re all a bunch ‘a stuck up, frilly airheads stuck in their own bubble of what they think is urgent. So what if the princess gets a little spooked here and there? Maybe it’ll teach her a life lesson about what the world is really like. ‘Cause I’ll tell ya this, the girls where I come from don’t get to have a bodyguard before bad shit happens to them.”
Toji isn’t entirely sure why he is making a point to shame the people at the top when in the end, he knows he is going to take the job. Money, Toji finds, is incredibly valuable where he is from, and considering the hands he has dirtied in the past to get it, this proposal is practically nothing. Still, that doesn’t mean he likes the kingdom any more for their lack of involvement with the lower classes. His morals, which remain very few, go against this proposal he already knows he is going to accept - slaving away for those who made him a slave to gruesome fates, but hell, what can a man really do when he’s at his wits end and unfathomable riches are being presented to him on a silver platter?
He can complain, yes, but nothing can rank higher than the money the palace is practically drowning in. Besides, he doesn’t have to stay, he thinks. He can entertain this little charade for as long as he has enough funds to set him up for life, and then he’ll be out of there. In and out, quick and easy, and this place would never see his face again. 
A grim look befalls the ambassador’s face while Toji rummages through his belongings for his clothes. He is clearly discomforted by Toji’s words, which was the goal the man aimed to achieve in the first place. 
“We can not force you to do anything you do not desire to do yourself,” the ambassador starts, and somehow, Toji senses that the man is lying for the sake of making it appear as though Toji has a choice. “But I implore you to consider. The princess is unlike her parents. She is younger, eager. There is a legacy she must carry and people she must lead. Without her, the entire kingdom collapses. Including your village.”
Toji’s nose twitches. “Maybe that’ll do this shithole some good,” he grumbles.
The ambassador sighs, shoulders slumping. “Please… think about it.”
Toji rolls his eyes, turning and knuckling a hand to his hip. “How much money ‘we talking here, buddy?”
And oh, is the pay fucking obscene.
Toji doesn’t think he’s ever fathomed such grand numbers and jewels in his head, having been restricted by his village’s limitations, but once he hears his pay manifested into reality by a simple verbalization, his guilt trip seizes and he is signing his life away almost happily.
From then on, Toji is bound to the likes of you, his signature scribbled messily over a royal contract and securing him to you from now until your death… at least, that is what the fine print says. His plans, however, differ, and when he has fled from you, he will be hundreds of miles out of the kingdom’s reach.
That is his plan. To run away, but you unfortunately do not make this a very plausible task for him.
After days of training that Toji does not at all listen to, of watching elder royalty turn their nose up in disgust at the way he speaks and carries himself, of hearing murmurs of disapproval as he saunters down red carpeting with the head guard to meet yet another person that he will not remember the name or importance of, of being sworn to secrecy - to only serve as a protective, lethal air of silence and nothing more - to refuse any and all physical or verbal interaction with the woman in his protection, and of being fitted into a stuffy black uniform clad with gold detailing that serves only for show since he would have hardly bothered to lift an arm in that uncomfortable ass thing, let alone kill someone, Toji finally meets you.
And he has to admit that you are not at all what he expects.
Adorned in a regal soft pink gown that crowds from your waist and pools down to the floor, cuffing delicately at your wrists through sheer sleeves and tugging over your torso snugly with a corset, you stand before him in your chambers like an angel gracing earth. Your bejeweled gold crown sits upon your head with complementarity and your ringed fingers clasp each other before your lap. You're decked in what Toji can only assume to be century old gems, necklaces, and chains which he has to physically fight himself from reaching to pluck from your body and run off with. Standing before him, he decides that you are worth at least twenty times more than the almost forty years of life he has spent picking around for specs of funds. 
The thought agitates him. 
While he wishes he can say that he is the only one agitated, he notices a flick of fire in your (e/c) eyes as you size him up, trace your gaze over him with judgment and a pout on your glossed lips. Your presence is almost frightening with power as the two of you stare at each other, him with blank indifference and you with very apparent disappointment. 
When the head guard eventually takes his leave now that you are in the hands of your newly bestowed bodyguard, the door closing behind the two of you as you enter the hall in preparation to go handle your duties, you stop in your tracks, dress ruffling along with you. Toji, who has been told to remain ten feet behind you at all times, freezes like a statue, eying you when you whip your head around to glare at him.
Toji’s heard of elegant aestheticism, of the otherworldly beauty that the royal family carries, but he hadn’t believed it until he sees you face to face - though he’ll admit, he imagined you to appear less… aggravated and more peachy? Light. Dimwittedly sugary.
“Listen up,” you demand, a shocking bass carrying in your tone. You’re dominant, he noticed, or at least you are attempting to be. You stand proud, tall, chin lifted and eyes narrow. This certainly isn’t the picture of spoiled naivety that he imagined you to be previously. “I don’t know whatever the royal guard told you, but I’m not a damsel in need of protecting. I didn’t agree to whatever this is or whoever the hell you are invading my life.”
Toji’s brow lifts in intrigue. You certainly are not what he expected. Not at all.
Encouraged by your tone, his lips quirk up into a subtle smirk. You drag your brows together in confusion, eyes catching the scar that stretches over the right side of his lips. “Do you find me amusing?” you frown.
“A little bit,” the dark haired man responds quickly, leading you to reel slightly in shock. He appears so unaffected by you, and you’ve never encountered a person who hasn’t scrambled to kneel in your presence or nervously abide by any and everything you say. The gaul of this stranger, you think, to stand before you so casually and smile as though your position of authority is some sort of joke.
“I beg your pardon?” you scoff. “You should mind yourself when you speak to me.”
“I’m not paid to speak to you, doll, let alone be sweet on you,” Toji scratches under his jaw, his posture slipping into something resembling his nature rather than that of a rigid guard. His hands find the pockets of his uniform slacks, hardly caring at all how disrespectful the stature appears to you. “In fact, I think you’re bein’ a little rude by tryin’ to strike a conversation with me in the first place.”
“Well, I did not advise you to answer me. I expected you to simply listen,” you state firmly. “Clearly, you are incapable of doing so without having something to say.”
Your comment is snarky, judgmental, and Toji at least finds that you match the idea of snobbiness that all royalty withhold. “If I got somethin’ to say,” he starts. “I’ll say it. You don’t gotta worry about me being untruthful with ya, I’ll tell you that. I’ll give it to ya straight.”
“And how do you think the royal guard would feel about such a thing?” you posed. “If they were to hear even a second of what you are saying to me now, you’d be booted from my side and this palace immediately.”
“And what exactly makes you think that I care about that?” he chuckles, watching you shift with sudden uncertainty. This man does not appear to be swayed by you in the slightest, and it is a bit off putting to you as a woman accustomed to your every beck and call being honored. “I thought you weren’t happy about what the ‘royal guard’ had me doin’. Besides, if you wanted me out, you’re the princess, yeah? You could kick me out yourself. I ain’t stoppin’ ya.”
Your lips tighten, eyes digging further together. His attitude is strange to you as well as his dialect, the manner in which he speaks. Even his appearance is strange, for while he is dressed in your palace’s fabrics, he is drabber than everything around you. And even with this royal clothing, his face and build do not match his suit. 
He has tired bags under his poisonous haze of ivy hues. Dark tendrils of inky hair sprout over his forehead, his ears, and into his sharp gaze. His facial structure is hard, mature with hints of stubble sprouting over his chin, remnants of what you assume to be the guard forcing him to shave. He’s bulky as well, remarkably so. He’s an unnaturally large man, and his muscles bulge against his clothing as though it is going to burst with the raise of his arm. 
His eyes, however, are pools of green you have never seen before - not once in all your twenty seven years of living. While the people that you surround yourself with carry a light in their twinkling gazes sparked by a passion for protecting your throne and the privilege of the lives they lead, your new bodyguard’s eyes are a stark contrast. Even from afar, you can see the exhaustion swirling about them as he looks at you slyly. He’s weary somehow, the windows of his soul revealing a glimpse into his world, into the things he has seen, and that is how you deduce that he is not the same as you. Not at all. 
This observation of yours only gives you more reason to question him.
“Who are you?” you command. “You’re not from here.”
“You must be a smart one,” he quips sarcastically.
You grit your teeth. “Answer me, now.”
“You know my name, darlin’. That’s all you need from me.”
“Not if your princess demands to know your identity.”
“You ain’t my princess, girlie,” he stops you. “You’re my job. And I don’t do a lot of talkin’ on the job.”
You make a noise of displeasure, something between a grunt and a gasp, and Toji only revels in the way he has thrown you off. You sputter, taking a step forward with emotion. “Now you wait just a minute-“
“Princess!” a voice calls for you from around the corner, down at the end of the long narrow hallway by your bedroom door. You quickly swish yourself around into the direction of the address, and Toji watches how your dainty fabrics dance along with you, even long after you have stopped moving. Seconds later, an ambassador appears, peeking his head around the wall. “Are you well? You are needed in the second floor den to review some papers regarding your upcoming coronation.”
Frazzled, you nod unceremoniously. “Yes. Yes, my apologies,” you breathe out. “I am coming. My guard and I were just… I was merely informing him of my expectations here on out.”
Toji would have rolled his eyes at the way you all speak, the sound of it on his ears rather exhausting. He can hardly keep up with the properness of it all. 
“I see,” the ambassador nods. “I shall inform everyone that you are on your way.”
The man leaves, and you take a moment to breathe in and dust yourself off. You murmur under your breath to yourself what Toji can only deduce as assurances and affirmations, little words you tell yourself to keep your rather striking confidence instilled. You clasp your hands once more, bracelets clinking as you regain your composure. Toji stands in silence, watching boredly.
“Whoever you are,” you begin, turning your head to your shoulder so that your voice is audible. “I don’t need you. Despite what my parents say, I manage fine on my own. Keep your distance.”
The green eyed man watches you walk off, forcing himself to begin following at a reasonable pace. His eyes train on the back of you as you trek ahead, and he finds himself lost in his thoughts, formulating his opinion of you.
You do not take to him easily over the course of your adjustment to each other, and neither does he. You find his presence to be a burden as he trails after you everywhere you go, far more invasive and persistent than your knights have ever been. He becomes your second shadow, and while you are accustomed to having been followed around all your life, Toji’s approach is impossible to ignore. 
Even from ten feet away, you feel him there, watching, and it drives you mad. 
He’s light on his feet, for if it weren’t for his obvious mass trekking in your footsteps, at times you would have forgotten that he was even nearby. How someone as big as him could travel so quietly, you did not understand.
And worse than his hovering is how foreign he still is to you. You know absolutely nothing about him, and your parents, who you find to be useless in their aging stupors these days, will not bother to tell you anything about where he is from. It isn’t the fact that he frightens you, per say, despite the rather frightening energy that he emits. You notice the way people stare as he follows your path, how they internally conjure their own ideas about who this ominous figure is and what he is doing in a place so very clearly unfit for his type, but you are not scared. You believe him to be a nuisance more than anything, and if he is there to protect you, you feel you have nothing to necessarily worry about in regard to your own safety. 
In fact, you feel unfathomably secure, though irritated more often than not.
What you seek from Toji are answers. He abruptly appears out of nowhere under the vow that he will be stuck to you like paste to parchment for the rest of your life, and you are expected not to question his arrival? To question his place of origin? To question what he has done to secure a place as the Princess’ bodyguard with no experience in this field? To question what he has done to be trusted by royalty with your life?
It doesn’t make any sense to you, and you feel that it is unfair to be kept in the dark as the future queen in place of your parents. And every time you try to go to him about it, he either ignores you or gives you that cunning smile, scar stretching and lips spreading.
Toji himself is itching to get out of here the second he’s nestled in. He despises the atmosphere, the sneering looks, the air of shrewdness that envelopes him everywhere he turns. You’re an ungrateful thing, and that only makes his job all the more aggravating. You don’t know how good you have it, and yet you look at him like he’s doing more harm to your life than good when he is literally ensuring that you are out of danger’s path.
He studies you from his position ten feet away, watching how you take on tasks and prepare for the day of your coronation, communicating with villagers surrounding the palace walls with a generous grin and a glowing energy about your presence, and how you patiently sit with your parents at breakfast, lunch, and dinner each day as they practically wither away in their seats. You are always so poised and polite in the presence of other people, authoritative and strong, yet when he is alone with you, you’re wallowing in displeasure, throwing him heated glances and clenching your jaw tightly. You find it hard to behave elegantly in his company, and that fact alone gives him some hint of satisfaction. 
But what Toji truly can’t stand above all the waiting that he has to do on you with no sign of action are the meetings you have with princes from far away, seeking to take your hand as their bride and fulfill the role as king. Toji’s found himself biting his tongue more times than he can count when he’s standing with his back pressed to the wall in one of your many tea rooms, the umpteenth shiny haired, pearly teethed virgin bowing his head before you and pompously chanting about all the wonderful things he would bring to your life if you were to allow him to wed you. Toji finds the whole thing ridiculous, for obviously you don’t want to share your crown with another man, especially not a husband, but the unspoken law of your reign requires that you must find someone to stand by your side. And of course after that is done, Toji is still expected to follow you around day in and day out.
And for what? What purpose does this bring him aside from money? He hasn’t even been given his first stipend a month into this little endeavor, and he’s beginning to think that the whole ordeal is a scam, that he had been tricked into a false agreement. He should have known when the guard outright refused to pay him up front beforehand due to their lack of trust in his goals, which in truth was fair, because the Fushiguro would have run for the hills the second he got his hands on those riches. Nevertheless, he’s growing tired of the repetitive tiredness of his routine. He was promised a chance to at least defend your honor by fighting, but despite the King and Queen’s concerns, he has not seen a single threat to your life yet. 
At night, a weight drags down on his chest as he stares up at the ceiling in a daze. He doesn’t know what he’s doing here, how he even came across such a thing. Back home, if the townfolk were to hear about where he had run off to, they’d all laugh. Toji Fushiguro, the man hungry for blood now at the will of the government that destroyed his childhood, his life. What a fucking joke. 
And you’re so perfect, it destroys him. To be serving such a deplorable image of sovereignty, to see your angelic face decorated in breathtaking clothes and to follow you around like a damn puppy with nothing to show for it. In your company, he is reminded of his place, of how much higher you are than he is. Though Toji is a man who has never cared what the higher class thought of him, in your wake, he feels helpless. He wants to say that he is holding out for a better future, that he is doing this for himself, but it doesn’t feel that way. He knows it’s not for him anymore, but for you, and what could you possibly bring him other than crisis after crisis, heart clench after heart clench, and more bubbling, searing aggravation over his place in society?
You are terribly beautiful, and Toji is not. He sees that the more he’s at your side, taking in the way everyone looks at you in comparison to how everyone looks at him. These palace walls are stuffy. They suffocate him, turn him against himself and almost make him forget who he is, and he can not stand it. 
He is convinced he needs to leave in the dead of night, to flee away without a trace left behind, off to a new world with no money and no plan. He believes that it would be a better fate than being stuck here… that is, until he is finally paid.
A monthly salary of a thousand gold and silver pennies combined. He is handed the sack of funds while he is off duty, hours after you have gone to sleep as though the exchange is illegal, and in the privacy of his cabin, his eyes glimmer with the reflection of the money in his grasp. His brow twitches, eyes still and jaw tightening.
He hadn’t believed it to be real before he got his hands on it.
He stares into the bag, into the past years he has spent on his knees crawling for barely even a scrap of this, into the future of tranquility where he can turn to rest without having to bloody his hands for the right to buy a sandwich, into everything he has ever done amounted into far less than one bag of this payment. He’s stupefied with disbelief, with greed, and hurries to escape that very night.
Toji is stripping himself of the bullshit pajamas the guard has sent for him to wear, tucking away the bullshit uniform he’s been snug in for weeks, and stuffing his pay into his beaten bag that he had tossed under his barracks. He changes back into his old clothes, the black shirt that hugs him comfortably and the sweats that pool over his calves, and he sneaks to the door when he pauses.
A glass window breaks just above him, and he whips his head up above. It’s coming from where your room is.
The dark haired man hangs his head low, conflicted. He could go, abandon you and pretend that none of this ever happened. He could go back on his promise to the kingdom, sentence himself to death by hand of royalty if he were to ever be discovered in his new home. He could flee from you, risking the chance of you dying under his protection and run off to live the life he has always dreamed of living, far from home, swimming in gold and silver.
Or he could stay. He could conquer whatever imposing danger he has detected within a half of a millisecond, his senses failing to fool him yet, and save your life. He could keep his promise to this awful society. His promise to you, and remain stuck forever.
Toji is inching out of the door, still pondering, leaning toward the latter hesitantly when a muffled scream rips from the open space of your window that has just been broken in. Your scream.
The dark haired man doesn’t know what takes over him as he drops his bag to the ground and rockets himself through his own window, foot first, to shatter the glass. His hands grip the rim as he flips himself over to face the exterior brick, digging his chipped fingernails into the crevices of the old stone to scale the side of the building that led to your room with swift agility. He claws his fingers into the ledge of your window past the grapple of a rope that was likely used to break in in the first place. A jagged edge of glass cuts his skin, but he hardly feels it due to the roughness of his callouses. 
Toji kicks his feet up and piles himself into your room, rolling onto the floor within a matter of at least five seconds. He rises slowly, chest rippling into his tight shirt as he visually locates what harm is befalling you.
You’re on your bed, kicking out against the cloaked figure hovering over you with a dirtied hand pressing over your mouth, his knees kicking open your thighs and another hand holding a dagger to your throat. A bruise circles the eye of the intruder just above the cloth worn over his mouth, likely a result of your fist to his face.
When you look up and find Toji, your panicked eyes widen in relief, your brows pressed together desperately as you screech out against the attacker’s palm. Your hair, normally so meticulously pinned is sprawled messily over your silk sheets, your satin nightgown threatening to ride up your thighs, ripped at the hims, and sweat pools over your chest as it glistens in the moonlight with each heavy, anguished breath you take. 
Toji’s eyes go dull, his face blank with something horrifying, yet familiar to him. You tremble, whimpering unintelligible sounds as the intruder turns to face Toji with foolish anger. “Get back!” he shouts through his mask. “Get back or I'll kill her!”
The knife’s tip presses further into your chin and you inhale sharply, squeezing your eyes tight and mustering up whatever strength you have left to turn and push away. 
Toji says nothing, staring emptily into your attacker’s eyes.
Toji finds that there is a certain coolness that takes over his body and mind mere moments before he goes in for a kill. He isn’t sure if it's a form of tranquility, or perhaps his fellowship with the act having done so many times over. His eyes gloss ever, and every muscle in his body smoothes out into a relaxed state. He is motionless, still as a sculpture, but his eyes are hungry with rage, flecks of red bleeding into the garden of his IRISES, honing in on his target before he pounces.
You don’t even see Toji move before your attacker is ripped off of you and you can finally breathe, scrambling to press your back to your headboard and stare ahead in horror. You swear you had only blinked, but by the time your teary vision refocuses, Toji is drenched up to his forearm in blood, a curved blade which seemed to manifest out of thin air clutched in his hand. His arm is curved over his mouth, reaching back over his alternate shoulder as though he had just made a slicing motion. His breathing is slow, smooth, and a headless body collapses onto your floor.
Wide eyes of fear-stricken (e/c) stare at the mangled corpse leaking out onto your expensive carpet, and you don’t even notice the splatter of blood that has reached your cheek from Toji’s nimble action. You’re hyperventilating, attempting to gather yourself after having been stolen from your sleep and held at knifepoint, and now suddenly your attacker is dead on the ground. It had all happened so fast. Your head is spinning, and you’re shaking terribly. You can’t even see straight. 
With a heavy exhale, Toji lowers his twitching bicep to his side, tossing his weapon off in the corner with a resounding clang! He rolls his head on his neck, stretching it from side to side and cracking it softly, before opening his eyes to find you. 
You stare at each other in heavy silence, you in grateful, terrified disbelief, and him with the knowledge of how you will react to his violence. He has seen it before. The screeches that follow, the running that ensues.
He waits for it, but… it doesn’t come.
Instead, you just stare at him like a deer in headlights.
He moves to ask if you are alright, to do something to break the air, when your door bursts open after hefty pounds at your door. Your parents and a few guards, who Toji now sees are quite useless, stand in the doorway, wide-eyed. 
Your parents move to comfort you and envelop you in their arms while the guards run to the scene in shock, mulling over the body that lay before Toji. He gets an earful, angry reprimanding about having done such a horrible act right before your eyes, and Toji looks over at you, finding that your eyes are already in him.
You try to speak up and say that he had no other choice, to actually defend Toji in your shaken state, but the authorities around you hear none of it and usher to whisk you away while Toji and a few knights are left to take care of his mess. You look over your shoulder, gluing your gaze to him as you are pulled carefully away. 
By the time Toji is finished, cleaned, and has been lectured by the guard, he finds himself rather exhausted, but all he can think about is whether you’re alright or not. He is told that he can find you in the library on the west wing. He ventures out and reaches the space, finding you seated in a lavish sofa before your fireplace with the room guarded by your father and mother who whisper urgently with more knights. When they look up and see Toji, however, they fall silent and immediately part to let him in. 
He quietly approaches, shutting the door softly behind him. He doesn’t make a sound, but you turn upon sensing him in the room. You’re cuddled into a warm blank that is wrapped over your shoulders, eyes heavy and tears damp. You sit in a sullen state, a still mess.
Toji rounds the sofa to stand far on your left side, body half concealed by the shadows of the unlit side of the library. The fire kindles gently over your face and in your eyes as you stare. Toji thinks that you almost look like a child this way, so vulnerable and disheartened. 
He’s seen things like this happen to women every day at home, only he didn’t always make it to help in time. For the first time since knowing you, he sees the same trauma in your eyes, the glimmer of innocence dimming ever so slightly. 
The dark haired man is not good with emotions, and he knows for damn sure that he will not know how to approach your own. He isn’t even meant to be speaking with you, but something deep in his bones is compelling him to you after witnessing you in such a horrible state. 
It’s his job after all. 
“You hurt?”
The question is gruff, blunt, and you look at him but not with an expectation for more. You sit with your knees to your chest as well, a position he has failed to ever see the Princess herself in. 
Eventually, you shake your head and look back to the fire crackling before you. “No.”
He hums, darting his eyes over you quickly. He sees a thin line of blood on your chin where the blade had been pointed into your skin. “You lyin’?”
You glance at him tiredly. “I am not injured,” you say again.
“Alright. You’re not injured.”
You look down, picking at your blanket as you chew on the inside of your lip. “…Toji.”
“Yeah?”
“Are you an assassin?”
The question catches Toji off guard, almost making him laugh. “That’s a little personal, doll.”
“I believe I deserve to ask right now. Forget the rules, the guards were not there. You were.”
He relaxes. You’ve got a point. “No. I ain’t an assassin. At least not every day.”
“But you have… done that before…”
“How else do you think I got the job?”
“Right,” you mutter as if reprimanding yourself for asking something so obvious. “You’re rather fast.”
He’s unsure where this stream of questions are coming from. You are still mellow, speaking below a whisper, but your eyes are in a different space away from what is before you. 
“Fast’s an understatement,” he mumbles and you give a nod, at least agreeing. “But yeah. I’m fast. Among other things.”
“And how long have you been…?”
“Killing?” Toji concludes the sentiment for you. You clamp your lips, retreating into yourself. “You can say it. It’s not gonna hurt ya.”
“Well, how long?”
Toji shrugs. “A while now I guess. I’m not a killer, but I do what I need to do when I have to.”
You nod, unable to find a verbal response to his words. Your lips purse forward and your eyes still beam into the fireplace in a daze.
Toji crosses his arms. “You scared of me yet?”
You exhale, corners of your lips tugging to the side. “You saved my life,” you say. “I am not scared of someone who has been hired to protect me.”
“That wasn’t really a pretty sight for a princess to see, though,” Toji attempts to reason.
“Yet you were not the man with the knife to my throat, were you?”
Toji falters. Once more, you’re right, but he’s a bit confused. He would have expected you to turn away from him, to reject his violent nature after seeing what he could do. But here you are, complacent with his abilities. Is it because of the shock?
He looks at you closer, but does not see any lingering signs of unawareness, or any stupor that freezes your mind and body. While you still look like you are slightly in a trance, you appear to simply be contemplating instead of suffering from shock. 
How are you so chill about all of this?
“I heard you’ve been attacked before,” Toji says rather bluntly. This makes you peek up, locking your eyes with his steely ones from afar. 
An exhale shakes your body. “So?”
“So?” he echoes with a scoff. “That’s not a big deal to you?”
“I told you before that I did not need you,” you say somewhat gently. “What you have seen tonight has happened more than you think, and will continue to happen in the future.”
“I hate to break it to ya, doll, but it didn’t look like ya didn’t need me. You didn’t really have much of a choice but to let me help you.”
“I have gotten out of those situations before. I could have gotten out of this one.”
Toji looks at you oddly. “Not from where I was standin’, you couldn’t.”
“I’m not weak,” you frown.
“I didn’t say you were. Hell, I saw the black eye you landed on the bastard before I snuffed his ass out,” Toji grumbles. “But you’re the Princess. Fightin’ isn’t your thing, it’s mine.”
“Do not attempt to fool me into thinking you wish to fight on my behalf,” you look him in the eye as you speak. “After all, you believe me to be inexperienced, don’t you? Sheltered. Naive.”
A moment of silence passes as Toji stares at you intensely, face cold. “Yeah. I do,” he admits. “If you’ve seen enough shit I’ve seen, you’d get why.”
Your eyes dance over his face with a pensive expression of patience. Your brows are slightly angled, denting the spaces between them, yet you breathe so deeply that it almost fools Toji into believing you are at peace.
“When I was six years old,” you start abruptly. “A tutor of mine tossed a candle to my head because I could not complete my times tables correctly. The wax and flame burned my shoulder badly when I tried to dodge. I have worn long sleeve gowns since,” you confess.
The dark haired man frowns, befuddled while you proceed.
“My grandmother, who had been heavily involved in my bringing when I was a child, was obsessed with cleanliness. Every night before I went to bed, she would inspect my room to ensure that it was tidy. If a single spec of dust was found on my floor, she would raise the back of her hand and smack me clear across the face. ‘You are a princess,’ she would say. ‘Princesses do not behave like slobs.’ Then she’d make me clean the room all over again. If it was still not to her liking, she would continue to hit me, and so on. I had welts on my body for years. I would try to ask my parents to tell her to stop, but they ranked her authority over my own every time. They believed her to be teaching me discipline. Now I do not sleep at night without inspecting every inch of my room for anything that is out of place.”
Toji’s face smooths slowly into something unreadable as he listens to you.
“When I was seventeen, I learned that men sought to ruin me. Diplomats and countrymen would visit with the same look in their eye when they saw me as I grew, seeking to force their hand to mine. One of them was banished after having been caught throwing himself onto me when I was alone. He left bruises on my arm from gripping me too hard when I tried to run away.”
Toji falters completely now, internally guffawed by your revelations.
“Over the years, I have been beaten, assaulted, and almost killed by those close to me, by those envious of me, and by those who want but can not have me. And now, with the influx of assassination attempts, I can do nothing but what I have been doing all my life; stand strong and kick.”
Your eyes swirl with honesty and grief as they lock with Toji’s pools of torment. “I may not know who you are, nor do I know where you came from or what you have been through, but do not assume that because we do not share the same origins that I am a stranger to the world’s cruelty. The kingdom tricks you into believing that we are a perfect society, when in reality, we are tainted by dark secrets swept under the rug and generational traumas. I have seen enough of reality within these palace walls surrounded by people I am meant to trust, only I do not trust any of them but myself. 
“I can see it in your eyes that you are broken too. You carry yourself in such a way, but do not allow that to blind you from any hardships I have experienced in my life. We are not the same, but I know inhumanity very well.”
Toji, rendered speechless for the first time in a very long time, watches as you lean over and reach to the other side of the sofa for something on the floor. You gradually reveal his satchel, the one he had dropped to rush to save you, and sit it on the cushion beside you. Toji’s eyes widen slightly when the contents of his bag clink together like wind chimes brushing each other in the wind.
“One of the royal guard found this in the hall,” you say calmly, lowering your hand back under your blanket. “I told him to let me hold onto it. That you must have misplaced it. Were you planning to leave tonight?”
Toji exhales, threading his fingers through his hair and glancing over the floor. Still moved by what you had told him about your upbringing, the man finds himself caught off guard once more by your confrontation. You’re smart, he has to hand it to you. Much smarter than he had previously given you credit for.
“Let’s face it,” Toji sighs. “You and I both know I don’t belong here. The whole kingdom knows. This place isn’t where I’m s’posed to be.”
“And still you took the job anyway,” you challenge. “This was your scheme all along? To take off with the first bit of money you acquire from watching over me?”
“Do you expect anythin’ more?”
“I expected you to be wiser,” you admit. 
“I am bein’ wise.”
“By fleeing from the only life of luxury that you have ever known?”
“I don’t live in luxury here, doll. I’m your bodyguard.”
“Even so, your bag is full of enough money to buy yourself a home, and that is only the first monthly payment. That isn't a luxury to you?”
“Luxury, to me, is doin’ what I want when I want it without havin’ to worry about anything else ever again.”
“Then where are you supposed to be?”
“Far from here.”
“You did sign a contract, you know. The guard and my parents would not take well to your abrupt absence. You would be treasoned.”
“Which is why I’d be long gone before they could find me.”
You sigh, turning away. Toji monitors you for a sign of disappointment, of anger, of desperation, but instead you remain indifferent. “I will not stop you if you choose to go,” you say.
Toji cocks a brow, lowering his arms to his sides. “You won’t?”
“You are your own man with your own ability to make decisions. I do not fault you for wishing to leave. I do not know you well enough to do so.”
Toji eyes you harshly, stepping closer and breaking the barrier of a ten foot distance. He approaches the other side of the sofa, peering down at you heavily as if to piece you apart. “You’re just gonna let me go,” he tests. “The hell do you gain from that?”
“Must it be about what I gain?” you ask. 
“I’m just a little shocked you’re not more pissed about this.”
“Toji, I was the Princess before you came and I will continue to be the Princess after you leave. I am not angry about what life you choose to live if it is separated from mine. I do not know what is best for you. That’s for you to decide.”
“And what about your guard?”
“They will be fine.”
“What about you?”
You soften. “I will be fine too.”
His mouth twitches. “I ain’t convinced.”
“Do you wish to leave or not?” you question. “You can not worry for my sake and desire to run away at the same time.”
“I ain’t-“ he stops himself, shaking his head and pressing his hands into the armrest. He wants to deny caring about what will happen to you, but his current hesitation over leaving proves otherwise. “You coulda died.”
“I could have died many times,” you counter. “I always manage.”
“And if one day, you don’t?”
“That will not happen.”
“Yeah, only if I’m there.”
You raise your brows and Toji catches himself, clenching and unclenching his jaw. He glances at his bag and reminds himself of his future, of his plans, of his life, and then he looks back at you, swarming in your wool blanket with such lovely eyes. Free of your jewelry, your crown, and your extravagant gowns and makeup, you look more human. You look softer, and Toji battles a newfound internal conflict - his growing desire to stay. 
Slowly, a soft smile rises to your lips that does not reach your eyes. Your soft skin, aglow by the flames before you, illuminates the warmth of your expression. “Do not tell me you are beginning to feel a duty toward me?”
“Duty ain’t in my vocabulary,” Toji defends, looking away. 
“Then why are you still here?”
He catches the testing look on your face and exhales in weary amusement. “Don’t get smart with me now, Princess. You won’t win that battle.”
“Just make up your mind, Toji,” you tilt your head and toss him a knowing look. 
You carefully shift and maneuver your body around so that you are laying your head on the cushion with your legs curled up to you, Toji’s bag still sitting on your left. The said man’s eyes follow the motion. “What’re you doin?” he asks.
“I’m going to try to get some rest,” you murmur, though you do not close your eyes. You stare ahead in exhaustion, but no urge to sleep comes over you. “You may do as you please. If you are not here in the morning and your bag is gone, I will assume that you have left.”
Toji looks back at his bag, torn. He’s itching to grab it, to swipe it up in his grasp and make a break for it, but there you are. The Princess, soon to be Queen of everything Toji has ever resented, and suddenly he feels a human connection to you. The things you told him, the steadiness of your voice as you spoke, the maturity in your eyes, the hidden, harbored scars, the arrogant will you carry to proceed into this life alone despite your susceptibility to harm… it got to him. 
And when he saw your face as you lay trapped under your intruder, how your body writhed with the involuntary will to fight despite your disadvantage, Toji was taken completely by an urge, a responsibility to protect you. To look after you. To kill for you. 
Therefore, neither of you say a word when Toji moves to pick up his bag and toss it onto the floor. In its place, he sits at your feet and tosses his arms over the back of the headrest, legs sprawled out before him as he watches the fire beside you. 
He stays there until the sunrise, and solidifies his fate.
After that night, Toji feels himself changing. Time goes by and you only grow stronger, approaching your coronation swiftly and taking on the role of Queen with regal pride. Toji finds himself staring at you when he’s by your side, which you have appointed him to after having a tense conversation with the royal guard, resulting in him no longer having to linger ten feet away at all times. He stands rather closely now when it is appropriate to do so, glaring ahead menacingly as he towers over your frame while you conduct meetings or speak with foreign princes and diplomats, who Toji keeps a sharp eye on with the knowledge of what you shared with him about your past interactions. 
He thinks of the pressure that weighs over you, and studies how you harbor so along with your traumas with so much poise. You don’t allow the things you have gone through to weigh you down, to deter your path, and he grows impressed with the strength of your mind. Without such, you likely would not be where you are today. 
Toji becomes one of the very few people you entrust your life with, if not the only person you fully trust to take your life into his hands. Despite his initial plans to leave you, he proves himself loyal to you, standing guard outside your room every night instead of retreating to his chambers and preventing disasters before they even happen. With his keen senses and hawk-like gaze, he catches suspicious figures in crowds, which he can recognize easily due to his upbringing as well. He used to be one of those lurking shadows, stalking packed spaces to find a target, only he was always too swift to be caught. 
Toji now takes to disposing of the people who mean you harm in private, away from your vision. While you are well aware of his capabilities, Toji has a tendency to become borderline sadistic when killing for you. Inspired now by his respect for you and your budding relationship, the honesty in your eyes and the sanctity of your life in his hands, he is more ruthless than he ever has been before in private, and he does not want you burdened by the vision. The guard does not question him, taking to caring for your parents and watching the palace walls while Toji handles the direct threats unto you. No one in the palace questions him any longer, for you have grown close to him and he to you, and the proof of him risking himself time and time again for the sake of you forces all heads away and onto the next thing. 
During the day, he is still and mute, a brick wall of eerie, bulky freight, but at night when you are alone, he’s making you laugh, sharing stories with you about gruesome bar fights he has been involved in and past jobs that have given him a run for his money. You always listen with curiosity, eyes bright with intrigue as a long forgotten book lay in your lap as you watch him, absorbing tellings of a world far from your reach. He does his best to leave out gory details, like the things that tend to keep him up at night, the things he is ashamed of having lived, but you always understand. You can always see more of him than he lets on in his gaze, how he stands and tenses, how he looks away after having held your gaze for too long. 
The dark haired man finds that he has never felt such security that you bring him, that while he keeps you safe, he feels safe in your defense, in your presence, in your path. You ease his mind somehow with your gentle grace and your unearthly beauty, with your loud cackles that he draws from you after dinner when he walks you to your room, a far cry from the contained chuckles you allow to slip when cozying up to someone for diplomatic and political purposes. 
You ease his mind with your warm grins, your soft hands that brush his arm when you get his attention, with the sweet breath that tickles his ear when you lean up to cup your hand over your mouth and whisper something to him. He always has to lean down for you as you reach up on your tiptoes, informing him of a task he must carry out in secret when all he can think about is the shiver that racks his spine when your coo of a whisper flutters directly into his ear. 
Toji does not want to admit that you make him feel strange when he starts to notice the way his chest tightens as you brush past, the air of your perfume lingering in his nose. He does not want to admit that this foreign warmth he now feels takes over his entire being, melting his hardened soul after he believed it to be beyond repair. He does not want to admit that he recognizes this feeling as love solely because he has never felt it before, never experienced the visceral pump of his blood into his heart or the honeyed comfort that slips into his understanding of lust. He does not want to admit that you attract him as more than someone he wishes to ravish, but as someone he has come to cherish deeply. 
He does not think it affects his job, for he has been at your side for nearly a year when you are finally appointed Queen and he still performs incredibly well. He stands at the upper corner of the grand hall, diamond chandelier twinkling brilliantly above your head in your wake as you inch your way down the aisle and up the purple velveted carpet. The kingdom watches you in awe, your gold encrusted gown dragging delicately over the floor, manicured hands clasped before you as you approach with your chin high and your chest puffed. You are a vision of artistry, of indescribable, unfathomable beauty, and Toji knows he loves you when he catches himself smiling gently as he watches you graze the room like fresh dew beaming on a crisp, sunlit morning. 
There is no sign of an attack when your new crown is placed upon your head, thanks to Toji and the word of his talents spreading like wildfire across villages, lands, and kingdoms alike. The entire world by now must know of the Queen’s bodyguard, who sticks to her side like glue and wipes out anything that even thinks of creeping into her path. His reputation proceeds him once more, yet now, he is proud of who he has become. He is proud, now, that he is killing for the good that is you, a woman deserving of every goodness that comes to her in this world, instead of for his own survival.
You do not marry. You refuse once you gain the power to deny the visiting of any more suitors, much to Toji’s relief. He had never been a fan of watching men kiss your feet, take your pretty hand in theirs and look you in the eye with a bent knee. He would have killed them all if you had not frowned upon so, for he did not believe anyone to be as deserving of a woman working to rebuild the economy for the sake of Toji’s village and all those who suffered along with him with such compassion and selflessness, not even him - as much as he cared for you.
Somehow, Toji’s duty to you triumphs over his desire for you. While he struggles, he respects you more than he has respected any human being in his life. His job is to make sure that you live, and that you do so peacefully and happily. You have transformed him into a noble man, and how you did so, he barely knows. What he does know, however, is that he loves you as much as he honors you. You are his Queen, he is your bodyguard - your right hand. He would never interfere with the boundaries set between the two of you, with the responsibility he has to you. 
Consequently, he stubbornly pushes away the telling looks that you share with him, your eagerness to jest, to press your touch to him and feel you near him, to remind yourself that he is still there. 
He knows. He sees it in your eyes, the unspoken yearning, the reason why you do not wish to marry anyone else, and you know that he knows, but he says nothing. He breaks his gaze away, he guides you back with a gentle hand to your waist and upper arm, and he leaves you every night, redrawing the line, keeping you at such a close distance. 
It’s been two years. The two of you now know one another better than you’ve known anyone, and Toji has been with you through thick and thin, through the death of you parents, the conflict with the council over the uncertainty regarding a future heir, your silent fatigue that only shows itself at the end of the day when no one else is looking and it is only you and him as he bids you good night. He’s seen it all, and you have seen him just as clearly. 
Tonight is no different as you enter your room sluggishly, sinking into the edge of your bed as you gaze ahead, an emptiness in your eyes. Toji stands at your door, examining you sternly. You look beat, aged by the years and the burden of ruling. The veil of composure lifts from you, and you slump, gown crowding over the floor and your aching feet, which dangle over the bed. 
Wordlessly, the dark haired man sighs and closes the door behind him. Within a second, he is kneeling before you, calloused hands grazing over the many layers of your gown to delicately cup your ankle. His touch pulls you back to reality and you look down, brows curling ever so subtly.
Toji cradles the back of your ankle and grips the stem of your glass heel. He slowly glides the cramping footwear from your foot, setting it to the side once it is free from its confinements. You watch him with ardor swelling in your gaze, his hands so rough when handling others, smoothing over your skin as though you are fragile.
He moves to your other shoe and glances up when he catches you staring in that way that makes his heart ache. “What is it, doll?” he murmurs, the nickname he bestowed upon you once condescendingly having stuck in a sweeter, more genuine manner. 
You don’t answer. You only gaze gratefully, tiredly, while Toji sets your other shoe to the side. He stays down on his knee, looking up at you. 
“You alright?” he asks and you sigh deeply. 
“You are the only person in this world I feel I can be myself with,” you eventually say earnestly, gently. Toji blinks, shifting slightly and nodding slowly.
“Back at ya,” is all he can manage to say under your loving stare. He almost feels suffocated by the way your eyes swallow him whole. “I get what you mean.”
“Everyone is just so-” you lift your hands in an attempt to physically depict what you want to say, but the words fail you and your arms stall in the air. “So-”
“Shitty?” Toji fills in with his own words for it, and you smile with a light giggle.
“Yes,” you drop your hands to your lap. “Shitty.”
Toji chuckles, the sound of you cursing still so funny to him. “Don’t I know it,” he agrees. He looks over your gown before back into your eyes, preparing to stand. “I’ll go call for the maids so they can’t get you outta this thing. You need to sleep.”
“Don’t,” you shake your head the second he moves to get up. He stops, sinking back down. “Not right now. I don’t want to see anyone else but you.”
Toji clenches his jaw, your words so sweet it kills him. “Don’t you wanna change? You get cranky in this thing after dark,” he jokes. 
“I know,” you say. Something flickers in your eyes as you look over his figure, a hint of desire swirling into weariness. “You do it.”
Toji furrows his brows. “What?”
“I want you to help me out of my dress instead,” you whisper. The green eyed man thinks he must have heard you incorrectly, his eyes going wide as he registers your request. “There’s nightgowns in that dresser over there. Bring one to me.”
“(Y/n),” he warns, heart fluttering and skin flushing over his chest. “I’m not gonna do that. It’s not right.”
“Why not?” you press. “As your Queen, I am giving you a task.”
“Yeah, but-” he scoffs, shaking his head. “I’m not gonna strip ya. That ain’t… I won’t do that.”
“Toji,” you lean forward, lids heavy over your eyes. You call his name sternly, yet still so quietly, and he can not help but bide by your will each time his name slips from your tongue in such a way when you need him. “I am asking you to help me. It is not wrong if it is what I want.”
“It’s wrong ‘cause I’m your bodyguard, not your-”
His words die in his throat before he can finish his sentence. “Not my what?” you mumble.
He gets lost in your gaze, in your scent, and he is struggling to find the words. His face is tense, brows knitted and lips curled, his scar creasing along with them. “I’m not in any place to do this stuff. You know that.”
“You are because I say that you are.”
“Anyone ever tell ya you can be a little cocky?” he smirks lightly to sway the mood. 
“Yes,” you roll your eyes. “You have.”
“Oh, that’s right,” he snickers. “Well, you are.”
“Stop trying to change the subject. Help me out of this dress.”
“Doll-”
“Now.”
Toji exhales, for he finds that he has no other choice once you have made up your mind about something. He pushes himself to his feet and stands over you, holding his hand out to you. “C’mon,” he mutters.
You slip your dainty handy into his palm and allow him to pull you up gently to your feet. Your face meets his chest, his height never failing to shock you up close, and when you look up he’s already peering down at you with heavy eyes. 
“Show me how to undo this thing,” he says impatiently under his breath, and you can tell by his hastiness that his nerves are jumping.
“I will, but you need to take your time. It’s fragile,” you whisper and he nods slowly.
“Alright.”
“Can you remove my jewelry?”
He inhales sharply. “Alright,” he says again.
You turn slowly, moving your hair out of the way to expose your neck to him. He grits his teeth, seeking some sort of self control as his fingers move to unclasp your many chains of expensive necklaces. His knuckles brush your skin, and he watches as bumps ghost over your neck after he has touched it. 
Your scent invades him as his hands lower over your shoulders to bring your necklaces down from your chest. His chest bumps against your back accidentally, brushing over your shoulders, and you both twitch at the contact. God, he feels like a teenage boy, losing himself over breathing you in. 
You tell him to go place the necklaces on their stand on your armoire, then to find a nightgown for you to wear. Toji feels weak, rifling through your clothes as though it is a sin to even be seeing them. Your silk fabrics smooth over his fingers before he pinches one into his hand and brings it to lay out on your bed. 
“Now, see the string tying my corset in the back?” you ask over your shoulder, Toji humming distractedly when he locates it and stands behind you again. “Unravel it.”
As though entranced by your demand, he does, despite every voice in his heading screaming in protest. He should not be with you like this, the Queen, so privately in your room lit daily by the kiss of candlelight and swarmed by the scent of patchouli incense and your damned perfume. Toji’s head feels hazy, thick digits tugging at your string and drawing it out slowly, watching as the ribbon unfolds and drapes down your train.
“Now what?” he murmurs.
“Loosen it so I can take it off.”
“Heh?” he scrunches his brows, looking over the weaving of the lace between your corset. 
“Just peel either side of the corset back,” you clarify. “Now that it’s untied, it will come apart.”
He obliges with uncertainty, cautiously tugging back either side of the thick fabric, the lace stretching and pooling over your back. “Okay, I’m going to raise my arms so you can pull it over my head.”
“Jesus, this thing is so damn extra.”
“Be quiet and just do it.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
You lift your arms into the air and Toji catches the way your curves peak out. His eye twitches as he pulls the corset over your head, off your arms, and from your body. A second corset, thinner and more form fitting, graces your waist and exposes your bare back to him, as well as the healed burn on your right shoulder that you told him about so long ago.
He clears his throat, setting the outer corset onto the bed with his fingers stilling on your hip. “What now?” he asks.
“Do the same with the rest. This one’s connected to the bottom part.”
“...What about your… uh…”
“There’s another layer under it, don’t worry,” you assure him. “Why? Is my fierce and scary bodyguard nervous?”
“Don’t even,” he grumbles and your shoulders shake with a silent laugh.
The ruffle of your clothing fills the air as Toji works his fingers through the second set of lace, loosening it and pulling it from your body. You slide your arms from the thin straps of this layer and allow Toji to drag the fabric down. His eyes train on the way it smooths over your frame, a nude colored set revealing as he pulls, pulls, pulls until the fabric is pooling around your ankles.
All that you are covered in now is a hoop cage over your hips and sleeveless underwear the same shade as your skin tone that holds you sinfully tight. Toji’s heart is in his ears and the blood in his body is surging out everywhere, including toward his crotch. He’s biting down on his teeth so hard as he holds your arm and helps you step out of the net like framing for your gown, breaths labored.
Your dazzling (e/c) hues catch his as his hand lingers on your waist and your arm, his figure now before you again. He keeps a tough facial expression, but his eyes yet again give him away as he coolly takes in your body, the way your cleavage pools out of your garments and your skin milks into a breathtaking glow. 
You feel his thumb swipe over the curve of your back, experimentally caressing the space as his other hand slides up your arm and over your shoulder. His thumb touches your chin, reels back hesitantly, then touches again, sliding delicately over your cheek. You welcome the contact, your hands raising to press against his lower abdomen as he lingers over you, so closely, so intimately. You can feel his abdominals, rigid and tense, contract beneath your palms though they are barely touching him, and you look down at how small your fingers look pressing into the wall of his stomach. 
“Doll,” he murmurs, voice gravelly and husky as it breathes out. You hum, lashes fluttering when his hand slides to hold the entire side of your face. He melts before you, your beauty so striking that it almost scares him, and nothing has ever scared Toji Fushiguro before. “You need to get to bed.”
“In a bit,” you mutter, gaze wandering over his lips and back up to his eyes. You sink into him, inching closer until he’s surrounding you, swarming you. “Stand with me like this longer.”
“I can’t stay here much longer. You know that.”
“What I say goes. I say you can.”
“(Y/n).”
“No,” you breathe, shaking your head as he looks over your features softly. “I do not care.”
“Well, I do,” he says, brushing a piece of hair gently from your forehead. You lean into his palm, a soft pout on your lips. “I’ve got one job, and that’s to keep you safe, y’understand?”
“And that is all this is?” you murmur, eyes darting over him. “That is the only reason you protect me? Because it is your job?”
He tilts his head slightly, smoothing his hand up and down your spine as you push yourself closer to him. Against his better judgment, against his instincts, he allows you. Even if just for a moment. Even if he never gets to feel you this way again, so plush against him, yearning and wistful.
“You know that ain’t true,” he tells you.
You bring your hands up, smoothing them up to his chest and you coo. “So stay,” you beg. “Please.”
“You’re killin’ me, y’know that?” he exhales, his nose brushing against yours as you close in on him, just centimeters away from his lips. 
He holds you, shares the same breath as you, and in this moment he forgets about the barrier between you. He forgets where he came from, he forgets what your role in this world is, he forgets his duty to you and how complicated it is that it has now molded into some emotional connection. He forgets that you will need to marry one day to continue your legacy, that he himself is not a King nor a man of royalty, that he was born of hate and abandonment while you were born to be something. He forgets, as your warmth consumes him and the taste of you is so close he can smell it, that he could never take your relationship beyond what it already is. That he is not, and never has been, a man made for love yet somehow you have fooled him into believing that he is made for loving you.
“Why are you fighting me,” your eyes close, fingers inching over his shoulders and arms wrapping around his neck.
“‘Cause I can’t let myself do this to ya,” he grumbles.
“Why?”
“Stop asking me questions.”
“Do you love me?” 
The question is a heated gasp against his mouth, and Toji, no longer harboring the willpower to push away from you, can only respond honestly.
“Y’know I do.”
Your fingers tangle into his silky black hair and his hand brings your faces together. “Then stay.”
“Okay.”
Your lips feel like a fluff of cloud melting into his, the rich, sugary taste of your mouth clashing into his own. You’re soft against his hard body as you crush into him, swooning and sinking as though you no longer have the strength to stand and he is catching you, bringing you to him as though it is the last time he will ever touch you in such a way, the last time he will ever have the privilege of tasting your sacred mouth.
Toji is a rough man, but he handles you gingerly, gradually as he savors you for everything his life has ever been worth. You overstimulate him with your mind numbing squeezes and the gentle sounds of satisfaction that slip from your throat into his. Toji thinks he can die blissfully happy as he encircles you, ravaging your lips with hard brows and a fuzzy mind. He crowds over you, so tall and big that you have no choice but to succumb to all of him in his embrace. He overpowers you, and you adore it, ruffling messily through his locks as his hands wander your hips generously, appreciatively, lovingly. 
He guides you back, leaning over with his hand firm to your back to ease you onto your bed, lips still locked. His body is thinking for itself as his lips swarm you, tongue gliding into yours and searching every space of your cavern. You arch into him needily, sensually, and Toji pushes further though remaining mindful not to hurt you. He wouldn’t dare. 
Your thighs lift to crowd his torso as he curves down into you, hovering over your gorgeous body. His lips crash into your cheek, over your jaw and down your neck, sliding his tongue hungrily over your skin with heady groans. Your lips part and your head tosses back onto your sheets, hushed gasps and contented sighs spilling from you, and even the noises you make are as angelic as you are. 
His large hand cradles your head as he ducks down to care for your chest, hot lips sucking over your skin like he is enjoying a meal. Your hands tighten in his hair, his mouth easing you into astounding pleasure before his lips are back on yours, more desperate, more lustful. 
“Toj…” you moan and he grunts into you, arms caging you beneath him and lower half pressing into your own. Your blurry eyes peer past strands of his hair as he consumes you, kisses you, worships you. 
“Yeah, darlin,” he exhales into your mouth as your bodies writhe against the barrier of clothing. “Talk t’me. What is it, my girl?”
“Do not… mmm, don’t leave me. Not tonight,” you plead in between weighted kisses.
Toji pulls back to look you in the eyes, hands exploring all over you. “Nothin’ could take me from you now, doll,” he swears, pupils enlarged and shrinking the green expanse of his eyes. “I’ll take good care of ya, promise. I swear on m’life. I got you, baby, I got ya.”
You whimper and his lips find yours again, kissing into you his promise of devotion.
Toji swaddles you with love for hours on end, into the early morning, molding marks of his loyalty over your stomach and down your legs, kissing over your scars, and pulling release after release from your core. He’s tender, firm but soft as he makes love to you and molds the shape of him into your essence. Imprints of your fingernails into his skin and your teeth marks into his shoulder encourage him to drag every moan, every ounce of fluid from your body. And god, you feel better than Toji could have ever envisioned. You’ve ruined him with your passion, with your pretty entranced gazes and your loving kisses, your insatiable need for him to give you more and for yourself to give him more. You’re sweet. So sweet, and Toji loves you more than himself, therefore he promises to give you what you want tonight and to return to his responsibility tomorrow.
It is his duty to you after all, to protect you, to love you from afar.
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glitch-but-ya · 5 days ago
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Can we get a girldad!Sylus fic !! Very wholesome tooth rotting fluff
GIRLDAD!SYLUS HCs!!
A/N: THANK YOU FOR THIS REQUEST!! I'm not too keen on having children, so I'm not sure if I could do it well enough!! Sorry for taking soo long :( I'm just busy! Not sure if you asked for HCs or a fic, but honestly I don't have time to write a fic rn! I hope you don't mind anon!!
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I don’t think fatherhood was in Sylus's plans. The N109 zone is no place to raise a child if you want them to have a happy life. That, paired with the risks his profession poses to both him and his family, makes me believe he wasn’t too sure about being a father either. But when it happens, though? He’ll embrace it with the warmest heart.
I’m confident Sylus cried when he held her for the first time. I know it’s been said before, but I’ll say it again—he’ll genuinely shed tears.
He’ll be hesitant to hold her in his arms, afraid of hurting her in any way. Was he supposed to hold her like this? Was he putting too much pressure on her head? What if she wiggles and falls from his hand? What if she fell? Of course, he’s read books and skimmed through countless articles about the proper way to hold a baby, and he’s practised with dummies and pillows as well. But when the real thing appears? The knowledge vanishes from his brain. And the only thing he can focus on is her. His angel.
He probably doesn’t even hold her until he’s told it’s safe.
At home, he changes everything. He dulls the edges to make the furniture baby-proof, and brightens up some areas with lights and colours. The dim, gloomy atmosphere is almost entirely gone. There are toys scattered across the floor, alongside plushies, pillows, and strollers everywhere. And honestly, he doesn’t mind the change at all.
I feel like he might consider raising her outside of the N109 zone. Although he wants her to be strong, I don’t think he wants her to be like... him, to say the least. I don’t think he wants her to follow in his footsteps. And I believe he would likely keep his profession a secret from her. Even if you don’t mind raising a miniature crime lord. He would rather she took after you. He would want her to be strong, but not from suffering—although despair is where strength is usually born from.
Spoils her, but never spoils her rotten. Of course, he’s happy to give her the world. He has so much—what’s the point of owning it all if you don’t spend it on your family? But I believe he’d teach her the value of things as well. And that sometimes, you don’t always get what you want. She would never lack a thing, but she would also not have the world at her fingertips.
I think that after the inclusion of a partner and a child in his life, Sylus would become... kinder. Not in a way that reshapes his character entirely. But in a way that makes him think twice before pulling the trigger now. He knows what it’s like to have a family. To want to do anything for their sake. Even soil his hands with dirt or crush the world in his palm.
After your daughter is brought home, Luke and Kieran would become big brothers—voluntarily! They’d be more than happy to abandon their jobs to run around their little boss all day, for more reasons than one. The reason why I believe they’d be particularly attached to her is because of you two, of course, but also because they haven’t really gotten to experience a real childhood and would certainly wish that such a fate wouldn’t befall their little sister as well. They would do everything to ensure that she grows up happy, lacking nothing that makes up a normal childhood. One where she wouldn’t have to feed off of scraps and suffer bullets every day, merely to survive. (MY SHAYLAAA)
Sylus probably takes frequent breaks and hands over his duties to the twins just to spend time with his daughter! She could blurt out a little “Ba!” and he would be at her beck and call (she’s not even a year old yet).
Talks to her ALL THE TIME!! Scenario: She’s sitting on his lap as he works or watches TV, and at this point, she’s at the age where babies start attempting to talk. But their words usually come out in incoherent coos and blahs. The moment she opens her mouth and starts blurting out the most random noises, he drops everything to reply to her: “Mmm-maa!” “Oh? Really? Tell me more.” “Aboo!” “That’s a bold claim.” “Gah-bleh!” “Interesting theory. I’ll consider it.” “Paaa!” “A valid point. I’m proud of you.” And you’re just lingering by the doorway, puzzled.
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zorosunwashedleftcheek · 5 months ago
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Death and Domesticity
Pairing: Law x Reader
Summary: Law patches you up.
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cw: F!Reader, Sfw, fluff, kinda suggestive?, blood, injuries, nongraphic, established relationship
a/n: I’m watching Dressrosa right now and I keep getting blinded by Law’s lethal face card. I whipped this up in like an hour so it’s not my problem if it’s cheeks 🙏
~
Law glares at you as you slowly crack open the door to the medbay.  You have that look on your face, like you’d been caught with your hand in a cookie jar.  Spotting the sour look on your boyfriend’s face, you give a sweet smile, pulling up a chair right in front of him and shoving your hand out for him to inspect.
“What did you do?” There’s a gash on your hand, deep and long, right across your palm.  You pout at his annoyed expression. 
“I was carving Bepo.  From wood.  It was harder than I thought it would be.” You pull your thighs up to your chest and rest your cheek against your knees.  “Can you bandage it?”
“That was a stupid idea.” Law grumbles but he grabs a small medkit from his desk regardless.  The wound is just barely shallow enough to avoid stitches and Law wrinkles his nose as he watches blood steadily gush from the gash.
It didn’t matter the situation, Law hated seeing his crew’s blood. Including yours. Especially yours.
Whether it’s a paper cut on Shachi’s hand or a scratch on Bepo’s snout, it made Law irrevocably uncomfortable, nauseous even.
Law sighs softly as he wipes off the excess blood with gauze, his eyes slide up to catch you staring at him.  When your eyes catch his, you smile warmly again.  It makes Law’s heart beat just a bit faster and blood rush to his ears.
You so freely gave your smile to anyone that asked for it.  Sometimes it made Law a bit jealous.  He was supposed to have you all to himself now that he professed his love for you, so that should include your pretty grin, right?
Law clears his throat and turns back to your hand, soaking a cotton ball in antiseptic.  His thumb absentmindedly strokes your wrist, the ‘H’ moving back and forth.
“Ready?”
“Mm.” Law swipes and dots at your wound, pausing as he hears your sharp intake.  He glances at you from beneath his brow before quickly averting his gaze.  Your cheeks are slightly flushed and your bottom lip is caught between your teeth.  It looks just a little bit too much like when he…
Since the two of you had begun dating, Law had become much more of a… sexual man.  Of course he had experienced sexual urges before he met you, he was still a man after all.  But it changed when you boarded his ship.  
He became more conscious of what women wore, imagining what you would look like in them instead… and then what you would look like out of them.  Law used to scoff when he heard men talking about how hot it was when girls sucked on lollipops and popsicles.
Really? Get their dick wet from candy? That’s hilarious.
And then he had seen you unwrap a little heart shaped lollipop that you had stolen from penguin and stuck it in your mouth.  Those next few minutes were some of the most horrifying moments of Law’s life.  He couldn’t focus on anything as his eyes darted between his documents and the sight of your lips and tongue twirling the piece of candy around in your mouth.  He had just barely managed to grumble an excuse before scurrying out the door, his face as red an a tomato.
Everything you did was able to fluster Law.
Law glared down at your taped up palm, the wound expertly bandaged.  You had really ruined Law’s heart and mind, hadn’t you?
Ducking down, Law presses a soft kiss to the white cloth before pulling back to look at you sternly.  “I’ve briefed the crew numerous times on how to properly handle a knife, haven’t I?”
You grimace and nod, “Yes, I remember your lectures clearly.”
Not only is Law’s doctor mode activated, but also his captain mode.  He crosses his arms over his chest, his hat casting a shadow over his eyes.  And although you’ve seen Law be stern many times before, it never stopped intimidating you.
You lean forward, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling yourself into his lap.  He scoffs but doesn’t push you off, tucking your face against his shoulder, you press a kiss to his jaw and peek up at him, waiting for his face to relax and for him to forgive your careless mistake. “It was just an accident, I promise it won’t happen again.”
Law purses his lips, god you were pretty.  You must be able to hear his heart beating in his chest.
“I bet it won’t.  We’ll be spending the next few days talking about knife safety and critical thinking.” 
You smack his chest with your uninjured hand and pull back, your lip curled in disgust.  “Can’t you make me clean the toilets or something?  I love you, but your lectures are horrible.”
“They’re not that bad.  And besides, I don’t want you doing any hard work until that thing is closed, I don’t want it getting infected.”
“You’re giving me preferential treatment again,” You hum, tapping his bottom lip, “You wouldn’t make Bepo and the others wait that long.”
“Stop questioning your captain.” Law huffs, swiveling his chair to face his desk once again.  “Now stop talking, you interrupted my reading.”
Your nose wrinkles, you really want to argue… it’s one of your favorite things to do, watch him get flustered and frustrated with you. 
But he seemed very engrossed in the comic he’s reading, it’s laying upon an opened medical book so that he’s able to snap the book shut at a moments notice and make it look as though he wasn’t a giant nerd.
Despite Law’s harsh words, one hand moves to circle your waist, and toy with your uninjured hand, his fingers sliding up and down the inside of your wrist and pressing against your pulse point to feel your blood pump.
It’s not long before you doze off in Law’s lap, and he takes a moment to admire you, the slope of your brow and the curve of your lip.  It made Law want to hand you his heart… literally.
He’d tried to do it a few times before; he would prepare a long, fancy speech, stutter and grumble his way through about half of it before giving up and holding his beating heart out to you.
You denied him each time, and it stung.  But you reasoned that it made you feel as though you were holding him hostage.  So you would wait until he begrudgingly put his heart back where it was meant to be before you would take him in your arms and pepper him with so many kisses that he felt as though he would die from embarrassment. 
Law wraps his other arm around you and tugs your back firmly against his chest, his forehead dropped against your shoulder.  Law wondered if you loved him as much as he loved you.  If your heart sped up every time he entered the room.  If you could never quite find the words when he tried to explain his feeling for you.
Law sometimes hopes you do
Other times he prays you don’t.
With a quiet groan, Law buries his face in your hair and listens to your quiet breathing.  His heart was yours, whether it was figuratively or literally. 
 You owned his heart, even if you didn’t want to.
~
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no-144444 · 11 months ago
Note
HI! i love your writing and i was wondering if you would do a grid reacts to us finding out we were a bet? And if you wouldn't mind adding Logan too?
Thanks ml xxxx
the grid reacts: you find out you're a bet!
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Featuring: Oscar Piastri, Logan Sargeant, Daniel Riccardo, George Russell, Alex Albon, Charles LeClerc, Lewis Hamilton, Max Verstappen, Lando Norris
thank you for requesting! xxxx
-----------------
Oscar Piastri:
He walked into your shared apartment, a smile on his face. He hadn’t seen you in a week, and you’d both been too busy to call or text too much, so finally, he’d be back with his girl. 
He wasn’t expecting the bare apartment he’d known so well before you’d moved in. He wasn’t expecting your things to be gone, or the note on the table, or your engagement ring beside it. 
Dear Oscar, 
I found out. I know we were a bet, and I know you’d try to convince me that you loved me, and that it was all real. I don’t doubt that it was real. I know I loved you, and I felt the love from you (either that, or you’re a brilliant actor and picked the wrong profession). But I feel betrayed. I wish you would’ve just come to me immediately and told me how we started, even if I was mad at you for a while. You kept a huge secret for 2 years, Oscar. That’s not a short amount of time. I love you, and I still love you, but I need some time on my own to figure stuff out. I moved back out into my old apartment, and don’t worry, I’m still your girlfriend, but I just wanted space to think. We’ll work our way back up to being fiancé’s but until then, I am still very much yours, unless you don’t want me to be. I need to trust you again. 
Love, Y/n. 
His heart sank. He knew it was stupid to try and keep it a secret, and it had truly been tearing him apart for the last 2 years, but this… this was too much. He was thankful that you two at least we’re breaking up. But the engagement reversal thing was fucking with him. He adored you. He loved you. Yes, it was stupid, but he did stupid stuff all the time. Forgetting his keys, sleeping through his alarm, wearing his shirt inside out. You always told him it was endearing. 
“Hey,” your voice brought him out of his trance. “I wanted to be here when you came back, sorry, there was traffic.”
He turned around to see you. You looked at him. He was crying.
“I’m so sorry,” his voice broke as you nodded. 
“I know you are,” you stepped closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck. “We’ll get through this, yeah?”
He nodded, burying his head in the crook of your neck. You let him cry it out for a little while, then pulled away. 
“You’ll be ok, we’ll be ok, yeah?”
He sniffled. “Yeah.”
“I love you,” you reminded him, wiping away tears as you went along. 
“I love you so much, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I just… I was so scared a-and-”
“I understand,” you nodded. “But that doesn’t mean I forgive you.”
He nodded, playing with your engagement ring in his hands. He broke again, sobbing. You wrapped your arms around him again, letting him calm himself down. “Please put it back on,” he whispered, begging you. 
You thought about it for a moment. You loved Oscar, and you knew you’d forgive him. It was harder not to forgive him, in all honesty. You’d read his hundreds of drafts of the speeches he had planned to say to you. Lando had shown them to you when he told you. You knew how this had been tearing him apart. But you knew how it stung, being betrayed like this. 
“Ok,” you nodded. He slipped the ring back onto your finger and a weight was lifted off of his chest, while one was placed onto yours. 
God, maybe love did conquer all. And that idea fucking terrified you. 
-----------------
Logan Sargeant:
“Go up to her, she’s a McLaren engineer,” Lewis’s friend’s voice rang out over the speaker of your phone. “I’ll give you 2 grand if you can fuck her tonight.”
“It’s not like I need the money,” Logan smirked, cocky as ever. “But I’ll take that.”
The camera panned to Logan walking up to you, and your world shattered. 
------
“Hey babe,” he called, walking into the apartment. There you were sitting, seething on the couch. “How was your weekend?”
“Great,” you answered shortly. “Have you looked at social media recently?”
“No, why?” he asked, resting his hands on your waist. He tried not to read into your stiff posture. Was this the moment? Had you really found out? 
“I was a bet,” you sighed, brushing his hands off of you. “And you didn’t even have the heart to tell me.”
You hadn’t planned on crying, you thought you’d scream at him, give him a piece of your mind, but it was hard to get angry when he was standing there, looking so helpless. You loved him, and all you’d ever been to him was a bet. You’d only met a year ago, started dating 6 months ago. You’d meant nothing the entire time. Just a fuck and a check. You just felt… defeated, and used. 
“Baby please, let me explain, it’s not what-” He started but you sighed.
“Explain what? That you ‘love’ me? I don’t care. I deserve someone who tells me the truth, and you couldn’t even do that. I had to find out with the rest of the world. Don’t you realise how stupid I look? All the posts I made, everything I told my friends and family, and the entire time it’s all been a lie? I look like a fucking idiot.” 
Logan looked down, ashamed. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered, taking your hand. “I’ll do anything to make this right, please Y/n, I love you.”
“How am I supposed to trust you? And how am I going to look going back to you? Why did you fuck this all up?” You groaned in frustration. “I fucking loved you!” 
“I love you too!” he pleaded. “Please let me make this right, I don’t care about the media, or whatever, I care about you, and I care about us.”
“What ‘us’? We’ve been based on a lie this entire time!”
“Please don’t say that,” he was crying now, so were you. “Please don’t say it was a lie.” 
You took your hand from his. “Logan, we’re done. Please don’t contact me.”
And that was that. He broke your heart and you broke his. 
-----------------
Daniel Riccardo: 
He watched in horror as you opened the message on his phone from Scotty. 
“You have to tell her. This isn’t right anymore Dan.”
“What is Scott talking about?” You chuckled. 
“Nothing,” Daniel smiled, but it looked forced. 
“Dan, come on, you can tell me,” you smiled sweetly. 
“Seriously, I have no clue what he’s talking about,” he nervously chuckled. 
Your face dropped into an angry frown. “So he was right, you wouldn’t even admit it if I gave you the chance,” you sighed. “That’s great, thanks Daniel.” 
“What do you mean?”
“I know about the bet,” you sighed. “Scotty told me last week.”
Daniel sighed. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too,” you turned to him. “Why would you lie?” 
“I was scared.”
“Of what?” 
“Of losing you,” he shrugged. “I thought it would just be better to… keep you in the dark I guess. I wasn’t really thinking straight.”
“I wish you would’ve just told me,” you sighed, looking up at him. 
You were both silent for a moment.
“What does this mean for us?” he asked. 
“What ‘us’? We were based on a lie Daniel. A lie you told for a whole year.”
“So that’s it?” he gritted out. 
“That’s it.”
-----------------
George Russell: 
“Have you talked to her about it yet?” Alex asked. “You have to tell her mate, it’s gone on too long.”
“It’s been 6 months Alex, and, by the way, I actually love her,” he scoffed. “I’m trying to figure out the best way to explain it.”
“Explain what? That you were dared to ask her out for money? Mate, you sound like a dick no matter what, she’ll break up with you no matter what,” Alex sighed, disappointed in his friend. 
“She’s probably right to,” George admitted. “Fuck!” he groaned. 
You stepped into the room, trying to pretend that everything was alright. Both of the men looked up, terrified of what came next. 
“Please let me explain,” George rushed out, taking your hand. Alex quickly left you two to speak alone, patting you on the back as he left. George stood up and took your hand. 
You nodded. “Explain.”
George’s frown lifted slightly, elated that you would even give him the chance to explain. “It was a stupid bet and I never took any money. I stopped speaking to the guys after we met, and I promise I’ve been trying to tell you, I just… I get scared every time that I’ll lose you. I don’t deserve you, but I love you Y/n. And I’m so sorry.”
You nodded. “I just… give me some time, yeah?”
He nodded. “All the time you need, of course.” 
You took a deep breath, wrapping your arms around his neck in a short hug. “I’ll call you, yeah?”
He nodded, letting himself enjoy your embrace. “Please call me. Anytime.”
You pulled back, still holding back your tears somehow. “Yeah. Good luck today.”
“If I win, it’ll be for you. It’s always for you,” he smiled softly. 
“Yeah,” you sighed, leaving with a broken heart, and a choice to make. 
-----------------
Alex Albon: 
“Can we talk?” Alex asked, 2 months in.
“About what?” you questioned. You were sitting in his apartment in Monaco, eating dinner before catching a movie at a nearby cinema. 
“How we met.”
“Proceed,” you nodded, turning your full attention to him. 
“We met at Jimmy’s, and I was there with my friends, and we were being assholes, and I'm sorry that’s how you met me,” he hesitated. “And that night, I was dared to go up to you, only because they knew I’d never get a chance with you because you’re… well, you’re you, and I’m me. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but we were just having so much fun and-”
“You thought you couldn’t get a chance with me?” You chuckled. 
Alex looked up. “Well, no. You’re gorgeous-”
“You’re a very hot Formula 1 driver! Alex, I was losing it when you came up to me!” 
“I thought you didn’t know anything about F1?!” 
“I don’t! But I know about hot famous guys!”
“You liar!” he laughed. 
“You lied too!” you laughed. 
He smiled. “ I guess we’re pretty evenly matched then, yeah?”
“I guess,” you shrugged, then leaned over and pressed your lips to his. 
-----------------
Charles Leclerc: 
You and Charles were new, like new new.But he’d invited you to the paddock nonetheless, and you had the weekend off, so off you went to the Ferrari garage. You’d met the so-called ‘Prince of Monaco’ at an Indycar event a few months back when he got your number, and since then you’d been texting back and forth. He finally asked you out, and you agreed, I mean, who wouldn’t, right? Even though you worked in Indycar, you were a born and raised Monegasquean and you were proud of your heritage, and pretty excited to be dating the Monegasque. 
“Oh shit,” Pierre grumbled, bumping into you. Recognition finally crossed his face and he smiled. “Y/n, right? We met at the Indycar thing, right?”
“Hi Pierre, yeah, nice to see you,” you smiled. Behind him came Charles, a bright smile for you. 
“Are you here for work or-? Oh, for Charles,” he smirked and turned back to Charles . “Le pari est-il toujours valable?” (is the bet still on?)
Your face faltered. Charles didn’t tell you about any bet. What bet?
“Je ne lui ai pas encore dit,” Charles mumbled. Pierre’s smirk grew, as did the sinking pit in your stomach. (I haven’t told her yet.)
“Hey,” Charles turned to you with a smile on his face. 
“Hi,” you nodded, more reserved than before. “Congrats on pole.”
His smile dampened. “Is everything alright?”
“All good,” you mustered up your fakest smile. “Ne parie peut-être pas sur une fille qui vit à Monaco, connard.” (Maybe don't make a bet over a girl who lives in Monaco, asshole.) 
Charles looked dumbstruck for a moment, and you left him like that. You were worth more than that. 
-----------------
Lewis Hamilton: 
“Have you told her yet?” George asked, eying you from the other side of the garage. 
Lewis shook his head. “I can’t find the right time.” “You need to tell her soon, it’s only a matter of time before someone else tells her.” 
“I know I do, I just… everytime I try to bring it up it’s like she’s extra sweet and perfect and I just can’t break her heart like that-”
“Break who’s heart?” you asked, standing beside Lewis. 
George shot him a look to say ‘tell her now’, and he nodded. George left you two to talk. 
“I was… I came up to you… I-”
“It was a bet to ask me out, I know,” you nodded, sipping your drink. “Whose heart are you breaking?”
Lewis’s brow furrowed. “Yours?”
“I overheard you and your friends at the bar that night,” you explained. “I don’t care. We’re dating because of it, I love you, blah, blah, blah,” you smiled. “Unless it’s been a charade the whole time-”
“NO! It hasn’t, I love you, I promise,” he wrapped his arms around your waist and pressed kisses to your cheek as you laughed. 
“You thought that would break my heart?”
His ego was becoming a little bit more than bruised. “Hey!”
You laughed. “OK, ok, relax. Yes, it would’ve broken my heart,” you teased. 
He pushed you off, smiling. “I don’t want your pity-”
“Not even a pity fuck?” you whispered, a mischievous smirk on your lips.  
He smiled. “Well, I always want that.”
-----------------
Max Verstappen: 
“Fuck this game!” Max cursed after his game had crashed for the third time. You made your way into the living room, looking in on the game.
“Everything alright?” you asked. 
“All good, sorry liefje,” he responded, not even turning around. 
“Is that the girl we put the bets on?” One of his friends asked. Max panicked and shut down the stream, then immediately turned to you. 
“Liefje…” he started. You stood there in shock. 
“Is that true?” you started. “Was I a fucking bet?!” you shouted. 
“It- I- Yes, it started like that, but I love you, I-I’m in love with you!” 
“How can I ever fucking trust you?” you shot back. “You’re a liar!”
“I’m sorry-”
“What the fuck does ‘sorry’ do? I’m leaving Max. You are so not the man I thought you were,” you pushed past him, grabbing some of your essentials from your bedroom as he followed behind you, begging you to stay. 
You left. He was the one who messed up. 
All because of a dumb bet. 
-----------------
Lando Norris: 
He was sweating through his shirt. Max’s eyes bore into him all night, more specifically, how his arm was draped over your shoulder. He understood his best friend’s confusion. It was mere months ago that Lando had been dared to go up to you and ask you out, mere months ago when he sent a photo into the group chat of you sleeping soundly beside him, asking for the transfers from the men who’d told him to ask you out and somehow get you back into his bed before the next morning. Since then, things had in fact changed. He had changed. You had changed him.
“Lan,” Max hissed. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“Max,” Lando mumbled. “Not now.”
“She deserves to know,” Pietra shook her head. “Y/n, listen to me, I know Lando had probably been a lovely guy but he asked you out because he was dared to-”
“Pietra!” Lando groaned. “What the fuck!”
You turned to Pietra, pushing Lando’s arm off of you. “Are you serious?”
“She’s telling the truth,” Max added. 
“Y/n please, just let me explain-”
“There’s nothing to fucking explain. You’re an asshole, don’t call me again,” you scoffed, getting up and leaving with Pietra following quickly behind. 
Lando was helpless.
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