#wylan writes

[happyyyandcrazyyy]

love and tattoos (kaz brekker x reader)

summary: in which jesper has a theory and kaz might be the matching tattoos kind of guy.

or

it’s two small words, a raven and a crow, a broken lock and a key, and a band around their ring finger.

or

“He has to be drunk, or high, or something, because there is absolutely no way he’s just seen a band of ink around Kaz’s ring finger.”

warnings: brief panic attack (not detailed), mentions of wounds and blood (not detailed, canon typical), set in the future, kaz has worked on his touch aversion

kaz taglist: @the-tpd-bau @ellievickstar @thestudiouswanderer | soc taglist: @ancientbeing10 @demitriacalynn (if you want to be added or removed from the taglist just dm me!)

a/n: here i am, once again, because apparently im incapable of stopping myself from writing for kaz brekker. i have so many wips but kaz always calls to me😭😭 this one was so much fun to write, it just flowed, and i hope you enjoy it just as much as i did!!

i. a band of ink around his ring finger, part one.

Jesper must be hallucinating, he has to be. He blinks once, twice, looks down at the drink in his hand, briefly wonders if it’s been laced with some sort of drug powerful enough to have his brain imagining things— because Jesper does not have the imagination to be making this up, he wishes he did —and then looks back up. The ink remains in place. Nope, no way. He shakes his head, presses his eyes shut. He has to be drunk, or high, or something, because there is absolutely no way he’s just seen a band of ink around Kaz’s ring finger.

It’s not the tattoo itself that shocks Jesper. Although, maybe it does freak him out a bit, a band around the ring finger can only mean one thing, and Jesper has never believed Kaz to be the marrying type. (Then again, he never thought him to be the matching tattoos kind of guy, and the last couple of months have had him discovering that Kaz very much could be.) No, what makes Jesper spiral is that he’s seen that exact same tattoo on (Y/N)’s own ring finger.

ii. you break, i mend.

Jesper has seen the tattoo on the inside of (Y/N)’s left wrist more times than he can count.

The word ‘mend’ in all lowercase, the typography delicate and elegant, the font somewhat rounded. Jesper has never asked what it means— because everyone in the Barrel has been branded, either by choice or against their will, and Jesper knows the black ink carries memories, promises and pain, he knows better than to ask —but he thinks it’s fitting for her, both the word and the style. Because (Y/N) is a gentle force, someone who provides emotional care to those close to her, a fixer. She loves proudly and deeply, and Jesper has never met someone in this wretched place that is so unafraid to be kind. He doesn’t know what she does to remain untainted, to keep her soul so pure in spite of their line of work. He envies it, sometimes. But then he’ll hear muted sobs through the thin walls, wake up at the sound of screams caused by nightmares, and he’ll wonder if feeling and caring that much is even worth it.

Jesper doesn’t think much about (Y/N)’s tattoo— it’s pretty and it suits her, and, yeah, he gets the desperate need to ask for a backstory whenever he catches a glimpse of it, but never does. There’s nothing more to it. That is until he spies a word on Kaz’s own wrist.

He only sees the tattoo because Kaz takes his gloves off. That doesn’t happen very often, if at all. But it’s the hottest day of summer they’ve had in Ketterdam in years, and they’ve been out in the sun all day, so Jesper is only mildly surprised when they reach Kaz’s office and he takes the black gloves off. What does take him completely off guard, however, is the inked word on his right wrist, partially hidden by the sleeves of his shirt.

‘BREAK’. In uppercase, with jagged and fragmented lettering. Jesper only catches a glimpse before Kaz twists away and the ink is completely sheltered by his clothes, but he’s almost sure the tattoo has some sort of optical effect, makes it seem like the words have been shattered, all sharp and angular lines.

Kaz is saying something and Inej is responding, and it’s probably important and he definitely should be paying attention, but Jesper’s mind is elsewhere because (Y/N)’s delicate tattoo suddenly comes to mind. The similarities are just right there and now all Jesper can think about is how odd of a coincidence it is that (Y/N) and Kaz have mirror tattoos. Same place, but opposite wrist. A single word, one neat and elegant, the other harsh and precise. Jesper does not believe in coincidences, but it can’t be anything else— because believing it to be something else would mean believing Kaz to be a matching tattoos type of person and Jesper would bet his guns against that —so he simply ponders over the possible coincidence, just for a quick second, before Kaz is directing questions towards him and Jesper is forced to shove the information in the back of his mind.

He ends up forgetting about it. Not forgetting forgetting, more so in the way he forgets his debts until there are collectors knocking on his door. The information is there, stored in some corner of his brain, ready to be brought back into his consciousness with just the right push.

The right push comes a Saturday night, two months after he first notices Kaz’s tattoo.

(Y/N) is out on a job. Jesper doesn’t know any of the details— not the target, nor the entry and exit routes, nothing at all —but he knows something is wrong because Kaz has been pacing for the last half hour.

“She should be back by now,” is all Kaz says when he asks. He doesn’t really need to say more. Jesper feels the way his chest constricts, panic slowly building. (Y/N) is never late.

Just as Jesper feels like he’s about to start pacing himself, the door of the Slat opens. She’s got her hood on, doesn’t look up from the floor when she walks in. There’s a certain drag in her limbs, something that tells Jesper that something is wrong, wrong, wrong.

“Where the fuck were you?” The words aren’t directed towards him, but Jesper cannot help but flinch. Kaz doesn’t get like this often, cold and harsh because he’s worried, so the job must’ve been important, high stakes, the type where survival isn’t assured.

(Y/N) looks up, and it’s only then that Jesper notices the blood. It’s everywhere. It drips down the slope of her nose, it trails down her lips. She walks closer and with the change of light he notices that it’s also embedded in her clothes. The most disturbing thing, however, are her eyes. Glassy, distant, unseeing. She’s shaking. Full body tremors.

By his side, Kaz deflates completely at the sight of her. He’s already moving towards her when she whispers brokenly, “I’m sorry.”

The apology goes ignored, “Where are you hurt?” Kaz asks. He reins his panic well enough, but Jesper can still taste the traces of it, they float around in the air.

(Y/N) doesn’t move, doesn’t acknowledge Kaz as he comes to stand right in front of her, trying his best to assess for injuries. It’s hard when all there is to see is blood.

“I’m not hurt,” she responds, and it’s like she’s in a trance, capable of responding but not truly present. Jesper furrows his brows, catches the concerned look on Kaz face. Does she not realize she’s covered in blood? She raises her hand to gesture at herself, and it’s only when she does so that Jesper notices the blade. She waves it around. It’s stained red, all the way to the handle. “Blood’s not mine.”

Jesper freezes. Kaz stops dead on his tracks, too.

Kaz looks back at him and understanding passes through them. She snapped. Something made her snap.

It seems like she’s just processing it, too, because a second after she mutters those words the knife falls from her hand and her knees wobble. It’s like Kaz had been expecting the sudden crash, because he’s quick to help her down. He grabs her by the sleeves of her tunic and sits her on the floor, back against the wall.

Her breathing begins to come out hard and labored, she clutches at her chest, hard.

“Look at me,” Kaz instructs, but she’s not here anymore. Jesper cannot help the way fear courses through him at the sight of her faraway eyes and the sound of her disordered breaths. He’s only ever seen (Y/N) like this once before, and even then, it hadn’t been this bad, she’d been responsive to Kaz, and very much able to breathe properly. Right now, not even Kaz’s words are cutting through the haze.

The wheezing becomes louder, more intense. The more she panics, the less she breathes, the more Jesper feels like he, himself, isn’t capable of getting air into his lungs. Kaz keeps talking, but she doesn’t seem to hear him.

“I can’t—” Her lips are slowly losing color.

Jesper is still frozen in place, and he can tell that Kaz is also beginning to panic by the way he grabs her clothed hand and presses it against his own chest.

“Breathe,” he orders. Insistent, firm. Kaz’s words leave no room for argument and (Y/N) reacts accordingly. Like it’s instinct to do as Kaz says, she takes in a deep breath, ragged.

“Good girl.” Kaz’s hand, the one that isn’t on top of (Y/N)’s own, pressed against his chest, hovers over her cheek. He ends up grabbing the end of the hood that still partially covers her face. “One more time.”

She repeats the action, another deep breath, interrupted by a brief coughing fit.

“You’re okay, match my breaths.” She nods weakly and does as best she can, eyes shut. The hand that is on Kaz’s chest has become a fist, rumpling his shirt. She holds onto him like a lifeline.

“I’ll get her water,” he finds himself saying.

Kaz doesn’t turn to look at him, “Bring a wet cloth, too.”

Jesper nods and slips out of the room and into the kitchen. He feels like he’s having an out of body experience, his body working automatically on pouring tap water in a glass, on finding a clean cloth. His mind is miles away.

Saints.

It’s disconcerting to see someone as serene and put together as (Y/N) so rattled and distraught. He feels disoriented, like the world has shifted off his feet. He’s never seen her snap so badly that she ends up spiraling into a panic attack. Jesper doesn’t know much about her past, but Kaz had once mentioned something about a complicated upbringing, about being raised as a weapon not a child. He doesn’t want to begin to imagine what he’d meant.

The soft murmur of words brings him back to reality, grounds him and guides him once again into his body.

“Are you with me?”

No response, but Jesper imagines that she must’ve nodded because he hears the soft sigh of relief that Kaz lets out.

It’s quiet for a little while, Jesper focuses on the sound of water flowing through the cloth in his hands, the feeling of it getting damper.

“I’m sorry.” The words come out soft, filled with emotion and embarrassment.

“None of that.”

“I didn’t mean to…”

“I know. It’s okay.”

The silence lingers before being filled by quiet noises. Jesper has heard her sobs through his wall enough times to identify them. His heart tightens painfully.

“It’s okay,” Kaz repeats, softer this time. It’s a tone Jesper has never heard him use with anyone else.

“There were children, Kaz,” Jesper has to strain to make out the words, they’re muffled by something, “little kids. And it just reminded me of… I couldn’t...”

“I know.”

A sniffle, “I’m sorry,” followed by a broken laugh, soft and sad. “I’m a mess.”

Jesper turns off the faucet, twists the cloths to remove any excess of water. He grabs the glass of water with one hand and the cloth with the other and then, just, waits. He knows this conversation is not one he should be present for, he doesn’t want to be present.

It’s a good thing, too, that he doesn’t make his way towards them, because he’s pretty sure he would’ve stumbled and dropped everything at the next words that fall out of Kaz’s mouth.

“If you break, I mend, remember?”

(mend

BREAK)

Jesper places the glass of water on the kitchen counter and blinks once, twice.

Saints be damned.

Kaz might be the matching tattoos type of person.

iii. a raven and a crow

The matching tattoo theory, as Jesper likes to refer to it, remains just that, a theory. Because Jesper has no real way of proving it, not unless he finds the will to ask (Y/N)— which he just can’t do, she’s so open about everything that prodding just feels unfair —or unless he brings his curiosity to Kaz— which might just end up with him losing a finger, and Jesper likes his limbs just as they are, thank you very much. So, for now, it’s merely speculation, something that could be played off as a coincidence. And he thinks it must be a coincidence, right? Matching tattoos are too sentimental for someone like Kaz. (Then again, he has always been different when it comes to (Y/N), so maybe Jesper shouldn’t be that surprised.) And they aren’t matching tattoos, not really, they are more like, well, mirror ones. It’s different. Probably nothing. He might be connecting dots where there’s absolutely nothing to connect.

He can’t help the way he begins to observe more, trying to find anything to sustain or disprove his theory. It’s only natural, he tells himself, Jesper is nothing if not a curious man.

It’s only because he becomes so attuned to them, and whatever that thing is that they have going on, that Jesper notices little things.

“Inej?”

“Good.”

Kaz keeps on making roll call, making sure all of them are there and unharmed.

“Jes?”

“Very much alive,” he grunts in response, letting himself flop into the haystack. His heart feels like it’s going to beat out of his chest, but at least it’s still beating. He cannot believe a blizzard of all things is what saved their lives.

He looks to his left. Even Inej looks slightly winded. She pats the pocket of her coat, sags in relief immediately after. Jesper does the same, touches his inner pocket, feels the edges of the glass key, and sighs.

The goods are safe.

“Nina?”

“Here.” Her cheeks are rosy. Jesper isn’t sure if it’s because of the dreadful cold or the exertion.

There’s silence after, the room filled by only harsh breaths. Jesper snaps up, looking around frantically, because Kaz is not calling (Y/N)’s name and that can only mean that she’s not there or she’s…

His mind quiets down when he takes in the sight in front of him.

Kaz is not calling (Y/N)’s name because he already has eyes on her. Probably always did.

And that’s when Jesper sees it, a little thing, something that tilts the scales in favor of his theory; the softness in (Y/N)’s face as she listens to Kaz.

(Y/N) is always kind— with battered gang members and hungry street urchins, with the loud customers and even with those who dare gamble against her —but Jesper is just now realizing that there’s a different gentleness when it comes to the way she takes Kaz in. The look in her eyes becomes quieter, more intimate, delicate. She says something, much too quiet for Jesper to hear, and smiles. Kaz shakes his head fondly, responds with a hushed whisper. It’s tender, precious, private. It makes Jesper feel like he’s intruding.

And then something Jesper has never seen before happens. Kaz takes (Y/N)’s chin with his gloved hand, thumb and index fingers holding her. He moves her face around, looking for any visible injury.

There goes another detail in favor of the matching tattoo theory.

Jesper thinks he might’ve just entered some sort of altered reality because what is he even looking at right now. He looks around but Inej and Nina aren’t paying them any mind, too engrossed in their own conversation.

Great, he’s all alone in trying to figure this thing out.

“I’m okay,” he hears (Y/N) reassure.

For the most part, Jesper thinks to himself, because he doesn’t miss the way she’s pressing her hand to her abdomen. Apparently, it hasn’t slipped past Kaz either, because he hums and raises his eyebrows, eyes pointedly trailing down to the wound.

She rolls her eyes at him, even that action looks fond, “It’s not deep.”

Kaz is more tactile with her, Jesper realizes with a start. It’s not a word he would ever use to describe Dirtyhands, but it’s the only one that comes to mind. (And Kaz has gotten better over the years, he has. It’s been gradual, and Jesper has no clue as to how or what he’s done, but he hasn’t missed the way Kaz doesn’t cringe away from the Crows anymore, how he doesn’t pale when someone brushes against him. He doesn’t seek touch, but he doesn’t lose all semblance of control at it either. Still, tactile is farther from what Kaz is, and this? This is huge. This is the greatest display of touch Jesper has ever seen him do.)

“You’ve got it?”

“Yeah, I’ll stitch it.”

His gloved thumb brushes her skin, briefly, before he taps the bottom of her chin gently, in approval, and lets her go.

“I can help you with that,” Nina pipes up.

Jesper turns around, immediately catches the look in the Heartrender’s eyes. Seems like he might not be the only one noticing things.

(Y/N) nods in agreement and Nina follows after her. Jesper decides, after taking only two seconds to ponder on the thought, to trail behind them. He wants to listen in— because he knows Nina won’t be able to keep herself from commenting or questioning and he’s aching to know —but he’s also hoping the Heartrender will take pity on him and heal some of his bruises.

“What do you want?” Nina asks him as they settle on a small corner of the stable. (Y/N) leans against a wooden post as she begins to undress, untucking her shirt.

Jesper simply points at the bruise he can already feel forming on his cheekbone, offering a cheeky smile.

“I’m not a nurse, Fahey.”

“You’re gonna stitch her up!” (Y/N) is watching with amusement and when Jesper points at her she raises one hand in surrender, the other still pressed against her wound.

“Yeah, well,” Nina shrugs, needle and thread in hand, “She’s my favorite.”

(Y/N) chuckles. There’s a broken-down iron chest and she sits on it as well as she can, leaning back so that Nina can work. She winks at him, “Privileges, Jes.”

He pouts.

“Saints,” Nina mutters when she catches a look of him. She’s decided that kneeling by (Y/N) side will be the most comfortable position for her to work. She cleans the wound, pours water over it, and doesn’t turn to him as she says, “If you stop doing that face I’ll see what I can do about the bruise.”

He smirks to himself, “You’ve got it, boss.”

Jesper can’t see it, but he’s sure she rolls her eyes at him.

“Try not to move,” she instructs (Y/N), voice gaining a softer, less teasing edge. The needle pricks the skin.

It’s not a deep wound, (Y/N) had been right about that. It bleeds, but the flow seems to be slowing down. It’s a little bit over her hipbone, but not quite on her abdomen. Judging by the injury, if Jesper had to guess, he would say it was probably caused by a straight back blade.

He had sort of expected Nina to immediately fire away, to start unabashedly questioning, but she doesn’t. She moves her hands in a repetitive motion, closing the skin. Then, she casually comments, “That’s not a crow.”

It’s only then that Jesper notices the ink; just over (Y/N)'s hipbone, only visible because she’d pulled her trousers a bit down to give Nina more skin to maneuver around.

“No, it isn’t,” (Y/N) confirms. She’s got her eyes closed, looks a lot more like she’s sleeping and not like she’s having her skin stitched back together. Either Nina has an amazing ability or she’s somehow managing to dissociate from the pain.

“A raven?”

“Yeah.”

Jesper leans away from the wall to get a better look at it. It’s small, simple, just the silhouette done in thin black lines. He has no idea how Nina managed to identify the bird.

Nina stays quiet for a split second, musing. She keeps her hands steady, thread pulling skin. Apparently, she decides she does not care about decorum— just like Jesper had expected —because she ends up stating, matter-of-factly, “Kaz calls you that.”

Jesper sort of forgets how to breathe. That’s why Nina hadn’t gone on a tangent regarding the touches and the glances, he realizes in that moment. She’d been distracted by something much more interesting.

And she hadn’t identified the bird, she’d just made an informed assumption. Because Kaz does call her that, raven, and sometimes, when he's feeling particularly fond, little raven. He uses it interchangeably with her name and often enough that when Jesper had initially joined the Dregs, all those years back, he’d assumed it to be her name. He’s not quite sure how Nina, who’s been with them for a shorter period of time, managed to make that connection quicker than him.

(Y/N) lets out a breathy laugh, “That he does.”

Instead of further grilling (Y/N) about the tattoo, as Jesper had expected, Nina changes the line of inquiry.

“Why?” She stops sewing and looks up at (Y/N), eyes filled with curiosity.

Oh, she’s insane, Jesper thinks to himself. He sort of wishes he’d have the audacity to ask such direct questions.

(Y/N) doesn’t seem bothered by the prodding, only mildly amused. She chuckles, “You would have to ask him that.”

Not even Nina is insane enough to dare do that. Probably. Nina is sort of a wild card, Jesper can never get a complete read on her.

She proves her sanity by taking the easier route, she whines and pouts, “C’mon. Tell us.”

(Y/N) laughs, louder this time. The reaction is immediate, the wound oozes more blood, and she flinches, moving her hand towards the injury and managing to stop herself millimeters before touching it. It makes Nina get back to stitching.

“You’re bold,” (Y/N) opens her eyes and looks straight at Jesper. There’s something in her eyes, a glimmer that passes quickly, like she knows something that Jesper doesn’t and it amuses her. “Jes would never dare ask.”

“Hey!” He pretends to be offended but isn’t really. She knows him too well.

“You know it’s true.”

He only grumbles in response, hates that she’s right.

Nina is suddenly tense, as if she isn’t quite sure if (Y/N)’s words are meant as a compliment or a reprimand. (Y/N) closes her eyes again, rests her head against the wall and reassures her, “I like that. Your boldness.”

And Nina preens, subtly, but she does. Jesper understands. (Y/N)’s approval somehow comes to mean everything to those around her. She’s like an older sister you’re always trying to impress.

Jesper thinks she won’t be saying anything more, but (Y/N) does.

“Ravens are softer than crows, more playful,” she mumbles quietly. Jesper, who isn’t even far from her, strains to hear, “Gentler, too.” And it’s like she knows exactly where the ink lays on her skin, like she has it memorized, because she manages to avoid Nina and the needle and trace the outline of the tattoo, eyes still closed, “And yet they manage to survive in the same brutal world that crows do.”

The words sink in. Jesper blinks once, twice, shifts on his feet, somewhat uncomfortable. It feels like he’s just gained insight on something much too private, into the feelings and thoughts of Kaz Brekker. Because what she just explained, vaguely and in simple words, has a much deeper meaning, and Jesper doesn’t miss that. It’s how Kaz sees her, an equal. Someone as strong as a crow, as fierce and resourceful and capable, but softer, gentler. That’s (Y/N) to him.

“That’s it?” Nina sounds perpetually unimpressed, but she doesn’t get it. She hasn’t been with the Crows long enough to understand.

(Y/N) smirks, like she knew the words wouldn’t mean much to her, and that tells Jesper something. There’s even more to the meaning of the nickname and she won’t be sharing.

“If you want more you can just ask Kaz.”

Nina huffs and pouts, pulls at the thread a bit harsher than necessary in retaliation. It probably doesn’t even sting, but (Y/N) plays along.

“Ow!?” The smirk remains on her face.

“Sorry,” Nina says, not sounding the least apologetic.

(Y/N) only chuckles, “I really do like your boldness.”

It isn’t until later that night, as Jesper sleeps in the haystack and shivers from the cold, hoping to the Saints that the smell of horse can be removed from his clothes, that realization strikes him. His eyes snap wide open.

The image of a letter R inked in Kaz’s forearm flashes through his mind.

R.

A Raven.

No fucking way.

He has no evidence of it, no evidence that those tattoos might be complementary, but something in his gut tells him they are, and he decides to listen to his instincts.

Great, that’s yet another circumstantial piece of evidence in favor of his theory.

(Jesper doesn’t know, will never know, but he gets it both wrong and right. The letter R that is permanently etched on Kaz’s skin means something else entirely, but he does have the small silhouette of a crow, different from the one on his arm, over his ribs.)

iv. a broken lock and a key

Jesper and (Y/N) stay behind. It’s Jesper’s fault, he’d landed wrong when they jumped off the cliff, too busy on firing his guns to focus on the landing, and the resulting sprained ankle made it hard to keep up with the rest. (Maybe it was sort of Kaz’s fault, too, because who even decides on an exit route that includes free falling off a cliff. Jesper should be used to Kaz’s antics by now, but the man keeps on outdoing himself.)

(Y/N) had quickly offered to match his pace, to keep him company while the rest went ahead.

After a quick discussion Kaz had agreed to it. Jesper hadn’t missed the way they’d said goodbye. Their pinky fingers interlacing with one another.

He might not be completely sure about his matching tattoo theory— denial, really, he’s in denial, and he’s man enough to admit that to himself —but he has absolutely no doubt there is something going on between them. Jesper hasn’t put a name on it yet, he’s not even sure they have, but one would have to be blind to deny it.

Wylan had volunteered too, but Kaz needed him for the next phase of the plan, so he wasn’t really an option. A shame, really, Jesper would’ve enjoyed some alone time with his boyfriend, but he can’t complain, (Y/N) is good company. She doesn’t whine about how slow they’re going, doesn’t mention the fact that, by now, they’re probably two days behind. She keeps the air between them filled with light chatter and that makes it more bearable, makes him feel less of a burden.

On the third day of their journey Jesper wakes up alone. He’s not immediately filled by dread because he’s a light sleeper, he’s sure he would’ve woken up at the sound of any commotion, and he’s even more certain that (Y/N) would’ve had any attacker down on the floor with a gun to their temple before they even had the chance to breathe too close to them.

So, he’s not worried, but there’s something about not having (Y/N) within his line of sight that feels wrong, partly because he’s got no idea where she is, and mainly because Kaz had given him a cautionary glare when they’d ventured ahead, an easily interpreted warning to keep her safe or else.

It’s only when he begins to look around that Jesper notices her knapsack is also missing. He closes his eyes and focuses. Somewhere in the distance he can hear running water. He follows the sound before he can think too much, limping along the way.

Jesper finds her easily. He sort of wishes he hadn’t found her. Because she is showering in the lake and she is completely naked.

“Saints!” It’s a knee-jerk reaction to turn around, eyes screwed shut. “I am so sorry.”

(Y/N) snickers, unbothered, “Relax, Jes. It’s okay.”

And she’s saying that, but Jesper is pretty sure Kaz would gauge his eyes off is he found out he’s just seen her completely nude.

He shakes his head, over and over. Ah, Kaz is going to kill him. He is a dead man walking.

She must be watching him because she lets out a laugh.

“Oh, please.” There’s amusement in her tone, “Nothing you haven’t seen before,” she teases, and Jesper regrets every single thing he’s ever told her about his sexual encounters.

He huffs out a laugh. It’s got nothing to do with that, Jesper isn’t a prude, he’s just trying to process the fact that if Kaz ever finds out he will more than likely lose a finger, or his life. But he can’t say that, that’s a conversation he’s not ready to have, so he settles for, “You’re like my sister, it’s not the same.”

“Fair enough,” she responds. Jesper catches the affection in her voice. He doesn’t think he’s ever told her how she sees her as family and she must’ve known, their bond runs deep, it goes unspoken, but maybe it’s different to hear it out loud.

“It’s my fault anyways, I shouldn’t have left without telling you where I was going,” she disrupts his thoughts. “But you were finally sleeping.”

“Yeah,” he mumbles. Obviously it wouldn’t slip past her that in between the pain on his ankle and the cold of the night he’s been having a hard time falling asleep.

“You shouldn’t be standing for long,” she points out, and Jesper agrees. His leg is beginning to ache and if they’re going to travel long today, he must rest as much as he can. But the idea of walking back to camp and leaving her alone doesn’t sit right with him— even if he knows she’s capable of defending herself, she would probably do a better job than him, given his state —so he limps towards a big rock, back still towards her, and sits.

“You’re gonna keep me company?”

Jesper hums in response, “Talk so I know you haven’t suddenly been kidnapped.”

She doesn’t talk, instead she sings. It’s an old Kerch song, Jesper knows because of the mournful feel. It builds up slow and steady, flows with the morning air. She's got a nice voice. Jesper never gets tired of hearing her.

It’s as he listens, slowly being lulled into a peaceful mindset, that the memory of the ink flows through his mind. It’d been the thing his eyes had zeroed in, the black mark on the back of her neck.

Maybe it’s the soothing music, or maybe he’s slowly becoming more daring, but the words slip out of his mouth without thought, “Is it a key?”

(Y/N) stops midway through the bridge of the song.

“What?” she asks, confusion permeating the lone word.

“On the back of your neck,” Jesper clarifies, gesturing to his own neck.

There’s silence, long enough for Jesper to start thinking that maybe this wasn’t the best idea, before the air is filled with laughter. She chuckles as if he's just said the funniest thing.

She’s still giggling when she says, “I can’t believe you caught sight of it.”

He’s confused by her reaction and settles for responding with a teasing, “I’ve got a great vision.”

“That you do,” she replies. "It is a key," she confirms and then the singing starts again, more of a humming this time around, a much brighter song.

And Jesper must be really really losing the filter between his mouth and his brain— he blames the pain and the lack of sleep —because he finds himself asking, “Does Kaz have a lock, by any chance?”

He’s teasing, but not really. It’s a good enough question, not truly invasive. It gives her room to answer as she wishes.

To his surprise, she says, “Yes, he does.”

His head snaps towards her, momentarily forgetting that she’s naked and that Kaz will definitely kill him for seeing her naked twice. To his luck, (Y/N) is already getting dressed, water dripping down her hair and staining her shirt.

“What?”

There’s a sharp glint in her eyes, knowing, almost playful. A smirk tugs at the corner of her mouth, just enough hint of mischief to make Jesper doubt the truthfulness of her words.

“Yeah,” she repeats in mock seriousness, “he’s got a small lock around here,” she points the area around her collarbone, close to where her heart is. “It’s very pretty.”

“You’re fucking with me.”

(Y/N) snickers, “Maybe I am.” She ruffles his hair as she walks past him.

Weeks later Jesper realizes that she had been fucking with him, but not lying. Kaz’s shirt rips during a heist and Jesper catches the briefest glimpse of the image of a broken lock, inked right above his heart.

v. a band of ink around his ring finger, part two.

As if summoned by his thoughts, (Y/N) materializes by his side. She takes a look at his face, follows his line of sight, and snickers.

“Did you finally figure it out?”

He turns to her. Blinks once, twice.

“What?”

She looks highly entertained by the evident confusion on his face.

“I caught you staring at my tattoo sometimes,” Jesper follows the movement of her fingers, watches as she rubs the mend on her wrist absentmindedly. “And then you would get this constipated look on your face.”

Jesper sputters, “I do not look constipated.”

“Only when you’re thinking too hard,” she teases, her smile bright. “So, I figured, well…”

“That I might be losing my mind trying to figure out if Kaz is the matching tattoo kind of person?”

“Yep, something like that,” she takes a sip of her drink. “He is, by the way.” (Y/N)’s not looking at him anymore, her eyes have drifted. He follows her sight and isn’t surprised to find her looking at Kaz. She softens immediately. “All the tattoos were his idea.”

Jesper feels like he’s really entered some other reality. He can’t believe she’s just telling him all this. Does this mean that he could’ve known months ago if he’d just asked?

“And,” he dares ask, because apparently (Y/N) is in a sharing mood, and apparently he's grown bolder. It must be the alcohol. “You’re married?”

He doesn’t miss the way she rubs her thumb against her ring finger, the one that contains the exact same band of ink as Kaz’s.

“Yeah.”

“Actually?”

She pulls her necklace. A wedding band lies there. It’s anything but traditional. Black, probably forged from oxidized steel. Sleek, unadorned and somehow still elegant. There’s something engraved on the inside. Jesper just catches the letter R.

“Got the documents to prove it, too.”

Jesper sighs, astounded, “You never said a thing.”

“We didn’t really keep it a secret, just private.” It sounds like an apology somehow. “It's just, in a place like this," she gestures around, "some things you have to keep to yourself."

Jesper understands.

He shakes his head, still somehow feeling like he’s drugged.

Kaz Brekker, a matching tattoo and marriage type of person. Who would’ve guessed.

“Lovers, huh?”

(Y/N) smiles, before she slips away and makes her way towards Kaz, Jesper hears her whisper.

“‘Lovers’ feels too small a word for what we are.”

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Every time I mention that Wylan can speak Fjerdan on here someone will inevitable say something about how he doesn’t really know it/isn’t very good at it and I have to fight the urge to start an argument with them because the whole point is that everyone (though most specifically Jesper) was unknowingly practicing the same cruelty to Wylan that his father does by devaluing his intelligence and potentially implying that he was stupid for only knowing the spoken form of the language rather than the written and the immediate assumption is always that Wylan can’t do something properly because of factors that are purely beyond his control and just because the crowd don’t know what they re doing doesn’t mean they didn’t do it, it’s the change they make when they do know that makes the difference and Wylan’s ability to fucking sing in Fjerdan saves Jesper’s life and I am a Wylan-and-Matthias-are-best-friends agenda spouter so I love the idea that they would speak to each other in Fjerdan os I’m gonna keep going on about it but anyway I don’t like arguments and I hope this doesn’t start any but I wanted to say that because so much of Wylan and Jesper’s early interactions are unintentionally damaging to Wylan with the constant rhetorics of “useless” and “idiot” and the immediate switch up in Jesper’s language later on is so fucking important anyway I need to go to sleep this may not even make sense I’m too tired I might have said this in too much absolutes bc like obviously there’s always layers to it and different interpretations and all but u just feel like this is an important layer and no one talks about it yk

[drieddpetals]

ugh wylan van eck's tale of self-discovery and growth, of fighting your parent inside your head, of being forced into a certain kind of life by things you can't control, of having religion used against you and finding the strength to mock it, of finding something to motivate you, of realizing that you're more than what you've been told, of finding someone to tell you to stop being ashamed, of finding that you aren't ashamed or afraid anymore, of being told that you're impossibly weak and realizing that really you aren't weak at all. man.

[dasiesanddarkness]

imagine: Wylan and Jesper as high school teachers. Wylan is either band, art, or some science. Jesper is english or history. they have a few interactions in front of students and they're always really exasperated with the other and then complain to their students as soon as it's done. said students immediately start to think they should fuck and it becomes their mission to get them to do so. they start "operation Faheydriks" and are suddenly leaving things in Jesper's classroom and emailing him begging him to bring it to them while their in Wylan's room and vice versa, saying things like "Mr. Hendriks, don't you think Mr. Fahey is hot?" and "Mr. Fahey, Mr. Hendriks seems like your type." they place bets on when they'll get together and keep arguing over whether their attempts are working or not. and it goes on like all year until after Spring Break Wylan walks in wearing an engagement ring. all the kids zero in on it and are freaking out because there's no way it worked that well, and this means everything is ruined! until eventually someone leaves their phone in Wylan's room and go up to get it, and the door is closed but unlocked, so they walk in and boom. Wylan and Jesper are making out. and the student freaks out and runs to tell all their friends that Mr. Hendriks and Mr. Fahey are making out in the art room!!! and when everyone crowds in Jesper and Wylan are arguing over who was supposed to lock the door. and eventually they get them all to go home and the next say they have to officially announce to their students that yes, they are engaged, the wedding is next March, and no, they aren't invited.

[faelunez]

🐦‍⬛ little crow pairing side profiles

[sky-neverending]

i miss wesper sometimes i think about the parallels between them and then i go inane. ugh. my BOYS

[frozenfrogz]

Me when I read a fic but that one character is nothing like how they would normally act.

[reonnex]

People always talk about the Kaz and Wylan parrells but have we ACTUALLY went in and talked about them??

They both lost their parents around the exact same time. In the books Kaz is one year older then Wylan and his dad died when he was nine. Marya had "died" whenever Wylan was eight years old. Both had their lives flipped upside for the worst in the SAME YEAR.

Both of them had their lives ruined by a man they put all their trust in and fought to get revenge for. With they BOTH did.

Kaz only fought back because he wanted revenge for Jordie. Jordie was his sole purpose for ticking and going after Pekka. Wylan's was Marya. His mother. Throughout the first book despite wanting to get back at his father, he still feels guilt and is more afraid of him then revengeful. But after he learns his mother is alive?? After he learns what his father did to her? That is his motive. That is what kept Wylan going. And Kaz knew that.

PWATER WATER WATER DORNWING REBIRTHING SO MANY PARALLELS OH MY GOD

Both Kaz and Wylan were rebirthed from the water. Kaz states that the child he used to be had died, and for Wylan's sake its the same. Wylan Van Eck died that night just like Kaz Retived did. The only difference was that Wylan didn't kill who he was. He just pushed him down.

(Fun fact to note that Wylan has his own scheming face as well others point out)

And the show does not hold back on these parallels as well but also shows how opposite these two are. Both of them hid so much of themselves from the person they loved and they BOTH admitted it in a momment of trust. Wylan asking Jepser what his passport says, and Kaz telling Inej about how pekka killed his brother. And even then they both still hide the full truth. But unlike Kaz, Wylan doesn't pull away from Jesper. Even if he doesn't tell him that he is a Van Eck. Wylan accepts the key. Kaz keeps his armor on.

Wylan had every chance to become Kaz, and Kaz had every chance to become Wylan.

[fruchtfliege]

My Cousin is a Vampire (11K) 🎉

For Scott, seeing his cousin Sarah at their next lacrosse match (Go Cyclones!) is the best thing that's happened since… since they had those 3 consecutive weeks when nothing went wrong. Yes, April had been bliss! For Sarah, seeing Scott requires infiltrating the cheerleading squad which… isn't so bad now that the team captain isn't a 70-year-old witch! (Go Devils!) Of course, everything would be easier if her geek friends didn't insist on joining her and the cheerleading squad!

A Teen Wolf + My Babysitter's a Vampire Crossover for Wywy ( @johnsotherbastard )!!!! ☺️❤️

[whats-todays-hyperfixation]

i love six of crows but how dare it set my standards so high for books like nothign can beat it. how do we go from "i have been made to protect you, only in death will i be kept from this oath." TO STEALIJG A WHOLE ASS TANK??? like guys how do i recover i keep trying to pick up books and i cant anymore cause its not my stupid group of criminals

[bravebookfan]

I wish there were more people who not only loved Leigh Bardugo's universe but also her showstopping writing. There are 3 things that I love about her Six of Crows duology: world building, characters, and dialogue.

At the start of each of her books, there are detailed, relevant maps that are logical and highly well-thought through. The insane amount of knowledge the reader gains after reading just two books is all due to proper planning and seamless writing. Not only does she touch on the basic differences between each nation, but Leigh also speaks on culture, religion, historical figures and events, physical appearance, and economics. The author clearly has experience and broad-ended knowledge on the entire world, down to the crumbs.

Our main characters: Jesper, Wylan, Kaz, Inej, Nina, and Matthias, each get their own backstories and personalities that feel so utterly real. Their inner turmoil and relationships with other characters as well as developments are subtly seen. The characters grow and overcome something that's ingrained in them.

Jesper: escaping from his Fabrikator abilities, running away from responsibilities, and Kaz's forgiveness

Inej: the manacles that the Menagerie chained her with, the Iron Blade/her shadow, remaining faithful and true

Kaz: trauma and physical touch, letting himself be vulnerable

Matthias: breaking away from the iron beliefs that the Fjerdans drilled into him, loving Nina and the Crows

Wylan: letting himself be successful despite dyslexia, escaping from the clutches of Van Eck, finding Marya

Nina: saving Grishas, jurda parem

Finally, dialogue that is compelling and funny is something unexpected from such a dark and ambitious story. The bantering and conversations between all characters are absolutely enchanting. Nothing more to say.

Leigh Bardugo was born for writing. This story is stuck in my brain.

[seidenbros]

“Jesper?” Wylan’s voice was quiet, almost careful, when he slipped into Jesper’s - or rather their - room at the Slat. Jesper hadn’t looked at anyone when he’d returned, had just walked up to their room, and Wylan had known that something had happened.

Jesper was sitting on the bed facing the dark window. When Wylan stepped closer, he turned his face towards the wall, avoiding him when his right hand rose to rub over his face.

“Is… everything alright?” A younger Wylan would have left him alone, would have stepped out again, but he cared too much for Jesper to leave him like that, since it was always a bad sign when Jesper wasn’t talking. Silences, as Wylan had learned, weren’t his favourite thing, so whenever Jesper was quiet, didn’t talk to him, he knew that something was up. Of course, there were some situations, where even Jesper was okay with silence, and he’d told Wylan before that silences with him wrapped in his arms were different, calming.

“I’m fine.” Jesper’s voice was merely more than a whisper, but with every other sound muted because of the closed door, Wylan could still hear him clearly. Still, there was something in the tone of his voice that made him tense slightly.

“You know you don’t have to lie to me, right?”

Taking a steadying breath, Wylan stepped up to the bed and sat down next to Jesper, who was still averting his gaze, but he’d at least taken off his hat. His hands were rubbing up and down both thighs, his bottom lip being nibbled on, and while Jesper seemed to always be in motion, this was still different.

“I can’t help you if you won’t tell me what happened.” No matter how much he wanted to, no matter how much he ached to make him feel better, without knowing what Jesper needed, he couldn’t do that much.

“I—” Jesper started, his head falling back so that he was staring at the ceiling as if he could find answers there.

Without thinking about it, Wylan reached for Jesper’s hands, pulling them into his lap just to hold them and show him that he wasn’t alone. A few heartbeats of silence passed until Jesper’s shoulders slumped and he turned his head to face Wylan. Even in the dark room, Wylan could see the tears brimming in his eyes. Tears Jesper fought so hard not to shed.

“I thought that I saw my Ma.” Words spoken so quickly that Wylan wasn’t sure if he’d heard them correctly, but once they sunk in, his heart ached for Jesper. “And I know it’s ridiculous, but I followed her and then lost her in the crowd and I just—”

“Shh,” Wylan cooed, letting go of Jesper’s hands to pull him into his arms. Squeezing his own eyes shut, he let his fingertips stroke over the back of Jesper’s neck again and again, letting the other hand rest against his back, just holding him. “It’s okay.”

Jesper buried his fingers in Wylan’s shirt, bunching it in his fists as his tears stained the fabric darker where they fell, mainly on Wylan’s shoulder. Having that glimmer of hope, irrational as it had been, and then having that taken from him again, bringing him back to a reality where he’d lost his mother years ago, had shaken him up so badly, that the tears wouldn’t stop for a while.

Once they did Jesper carefully raised his head, loosening his grip on Wylan’s shirt so he could pull back slightly and rub his eyes with one hand.

“Sorry,” he murmured, voice a little hoarse from crying.

“What are you apologising for?”

“All of this. You didn’t sign up for this.”

“Hey,” Wylan said, framing Jesper’s face with both hands to make him look at him. “I signed up for you. All of you, and that includes moments like this as well. I hope you know that you can be yourself around me. You don’t have to hold up your guard all the time.” Leaning forward, Wylan stole a soft kiss from his lips.

“It’s just not that easy.”

“I know. A lot of things aren’t easy for me as well. It’s a learning curve so to say.” That at least managed to make Jesper smile.

“Thank you, Wy.”

“For what?”

“For being you.”

That alone made his heart warm, even more so when Jesper kissed him again - and some more kisses followed until they lay back, Jesper’s nose pressed against the crook of Wylan’s neck to breathe him in and fall asleep like this.

[fantastic-nonsense]

may or may not have inadvisedly started yet another Six of Crows WIP 👀....

"Kaz, why is my mother forging paintings for you?" He shrugged nonchalantly. "I suddenly found myself in possession of a few paintings that would cause some stir if it were to come out that I had them. I merely relayed my dilemma to her over cards a few months back. She offered. I accepted. Who am I to pass up an offer from such an excellent artist?" “You’re not blackmailing her, are you?” he asked suspiciously. “If I wanted to blackmail a Van Eck I’d be blackmailing you, not Mrs. Hendricks. Much better material to work with.” He couldn’t decide whether he should be offended that Kaz still considered him an easy mark or relieved he didn’t have to try to ban him from the house for the foreseeable future. It wouldn’t have worked anyway, Wylan thought gloomily. Kaz had broken into the mansion while his father had been actively trying to murder him, and he hardly walked through the front door now. He’d just pick a random window lock and show up at breakfast anyway.  Still. Better than the alternative. He’d rather Kaz Brekker sit at his breakfast table than plot the demise of a second head of the Van Eck household (which would certainly be his fate if he did anything to keep Kaz from seeing Inej when she docked next week).

[dasiesanddarkness]

i should go to bed but the wesper angst. it’s calling my name.

[sarastellasari]

❄️Crows Secret Santa headcannons! ❄️

I don’t know if they even have Christmas in the grishaverse and also I forgot Matthias was dead, but enjoy!

❆ Nina is the one who organizes it, cause she thinks it would be fun for all of the crows to get together and do something

❆ Kaz thinks it’s dumb but inej gets him to go along with it cause Nina is super excited and she doesn’t want to disappoint her

❆ Also I feel like Kaz would try to get out of it but Nina would be like “NO, you need to do it, we have to have an even amount of people or else it won’t work! Do you want us to have to get kuwei to do it with us? He’ll try to give Jesper a kiss as his present!” Or smth like that (fun fact, secret Santa does work with an odd amount of people, me and my friends learnt the hard way :/)

❆ Kaz gets Matthias and tries to bribe Nina to switch with him (Nina has inej) Nina’s like bitch no, and Kaz buys Matthias like. An expensive sweater or something.

❆ Matthias has no idea what secret Santa is and Nina has to explain it to him and stop him from just giving his person (Jesper) money

❆ Nina eventually just gives up and buys the gift cause Matthias doesn’t rly know what Jesper likes, but he writes Jesper a 4 page long heartfelt card about how much he values their friendship

❆ Jesper forgets to get the gift until last minute but still buys his person (wylan) a rly thoughtful gift that they love

❆ But since he literally IS DATING his person, he almost accidentally exposes himself like 5000 times and by the time they do the exchange Wylans like, whoah :/ I didn’t know it was you at all :/

❆ Wylan is really stressed about it cause he has Kaz so he’s like, wtf do I get him? He literally doesn’t like anything! But he ends up making Kaz some homemade explosives or smth

❆ When they finally gather to do the exchange it’s going fine until Nina pulls out the matching pajamas and everyone is like ew, no

❆ They end up compromising and just wearing the pants

❆ When the actual exchange starts, it goes well

❆ Jesper cries when he reads Matthias’ letter, and then Matthias cries too, and everyone starts getting very emotional

❆ Wylan is super scared Kaz won’t like his gift but Kaz likes it

❆ Matthias likes his sweater a lot and Nina is like, see Kaz, I told you being his person was a good idea!

❆ Nina gives inej a super expensive knife named Nina and Kaz is like, I could’ve given her a better gift if I was her person >:( and then they start fighting

❆ And then somehow the explosives that wylan gave Kaz start going off and they all freak out and someone calls the stadwatch but because they’re all criminals, they end up having to hide from them since they think they intentionally commited arson

❆ And that’s the first and last secret Santa the crows ever have

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Thinking about how cool it would’ve been if the Soc spinoff used Wylan’s knowledge of Fjerdan to expand on his friendship with Matthias, like when Matthias didn’t know the Kerch word for snow goggles in the book and he didn’t want to ask Nina he just pointed to them and said “keep your eyes covered” instead, but we could have had him turn to Wylan and say:

“Lamb. How do you say snow goggles in Kerch?”

And then Wylan would say “snow goggles” in Kerch (/English for audience purposes) and then Matthias would tell everyone to put their snow goggles on and we would see both Nina and Jesper seething right up until their eyes were covered - especially because Nina would understand what Matthias had just said.