#yeah this is probably a bad idea

[wanologic]

sorry danny, sam will never think you’re cool

[transienturl]

I feel like the interface to set your number of checkmark badges should go in increments of one

[tryingahandinholdingapen]

I kind of want to either write or read a time travel fix-it fic where it's Tobirama who travels back in time - BUT it's not Tobirama's POV. He's only a side character. It's mainly focused on Madara and Hashirama. Occasionally Mito, Izuna, Touka

This post got real fucking long so here's a read more

Just a really funny fic where you never quite get to see what Tobirama is doing, because he's not the POV character and the other characters don't know/don't pay attention to what he's up to. But like he is doing important stuff yk he's taking advantage of that future knowledge

For example:

Madara and Hashirama meeting at the river. They've figured out/confessed to their respective clans and are discussing peace and who in their clan might or might not support them

Madara asks about Tobirama and Hashirama is like "Hm? Tobirama? Honestly I don't think he cares about the Senju-Uchiha war at all. He's far too occupied with his own war against the mold youkai."

"....The what?"

(It's not too obvious from Hashirama's POV that Tobirama keeps sneakily fucking up Zetsu's machinations, but what's significantly more difficult to ignore is that Tobirama is increasingly getting ambushed by White Zetsu drones ('mold youkai') - that he eliminates with extreme prejudice and alarming fury)

Just, stuff like that. Main plot is making peace, focused on most of the main family EXCEPT Tobirama (who is otherwise occupied and is thus rarely focused on much) and possibly Izuna. So it's all stuff about battles between the Senju and Uchiha, probably having to deal with internal issues as well (Butsuma/Tajima? Elders? Coup/assassination attempts?) and plotting how they could possibly get peace, it's stuff like negotiating with the Uzumaki + Mito's marriage to Hashirama, it's the Uchiha having to deal with one of their allied clans turning on them (barely noticed sub-plot during this where Tobirama is trying to prevent/rectify the sabotage Zetsu did to the Uchiha's fancy tablet), it's about planning for their eventual village (Hashirama finds notes on plumbing on his desk, written in Tobirama's hand - when the fuck did he have time for that? where did he even learn about plumbing?), it's about trying to get the Daimyo on side, it's about all the politics of trying to get other clans to move into the village too, it's about ah fuck bloodline thieves discovered there were plans for a shinobi village in the works and are doing a frantic attempt to kidnap/'harvest' as much as possible before the bloodline clans are too protected in the planned village so now we have to deal with this fucking trafficking ring...

The sub-plot is an Tobiizu fic where Izuna is (correctly) CONVINCED that Tobirama is Up To Something, and (incorrectly) decided it's malicious to the Uchiha et al, and has taken it upon himself to investigate and Stop Tobirama's Evil Plans At All Costs

Longsuffering Tobirama is far too busy for Izuna's bullshit. He's attempting to prevent/stop/counteract Zetsu's machinations, he's trying to kill Zetsu, he's trying to destroy the big old statue (yk the one I mean, idk what it's called, if it has a name), he's trying to make sure the bijuu are all safe and Won't get sealed into jinchuuruki OR the aforementioned statue...

(he gets distracted for a bit with a side project wherein he decides actually it would be really funny for him to convert the cave the big statue was in, into a place for the kyuubi to hang out. that takes him quite a while since he has to run Zetsu out (so many White Zetsu drones...), destroy the statue, alter the place accordingly, and then find and convince the kyuubi that actually this is a great idea - without the kyuubi just fucking eating him)

...he's trying to make life easier for Madara and Hashirama (oh, Butsuma died from a mysterious illness right before he could enact his incredibly stupid plan against the Uchiha? damn. what a shame. anyway-), he's having to reinvent everything he remembers from last time he lived through this shit because whilst some of those jutsus/techniques/inventions (cough, Edo Tensei, cough) aren't strictly necessary, some of them are VERY MUCH NEEDED

That takes. So much time. Luckily Tobirama doesn't have to do all the research over again, since he remembers it and it's incredibly unlikely anyone will call him out on it (....except Mito with regards to certain seals. he very begrudgingly does research and writes notes and invents plausible-mistakes-that-could-have-been-a-first-attempt) so for the most part he can skip straight to inventing or writing out the final project/knowledge

Some of Zetsu's machinations are incredibly annoying to counter, actually. Like at some point the blasted weed installed/had nearly installed a puppet ruler in Land of Water which, what? Why? Urgh

(Please imagine the absolutely incredible amounts of suspicion and incredulous disbelief and paranoia etc that Izuna is aiming Tobirama's way once he (eventually) discovers that the 'White Demon' is seemingly MESSING WITH POLITICS RE: WHO RULES A FOREIGN NATION?!?!?! is nobody else seeing this!! Izuna is NOT CRAZY look at this bullshit somebody needs to stop him-!)

So long story short Tobirama has a LOT on his plate and he is so so incredibly stressed. Somebody help this man. None of this shit is helped by the fact that

a) Zetsu realised very rapidly that someone was fucking with his plans, and promptly started trying to kill Tobirama off, or failing that, sabotage Tobirama's plans in turn

(thus the years long and increasingly violent 'war against mold youkai' that starts when Tobirama is like, ridiculously young, and Hashirama casually mentions to Madara)

b) Izuna. Just, Izuna. He's fucking obsessed with Tobirama (why) and also the most paranoid person ALIVE it sometimes seems, and he just, won't stop, sticking his nose in Tobirama's business, how does he seem to be fucking EVERYWHERE doesn't he have anything else to do it's not like Izuna even knows the shadow clone jutsu how is he doing this why-

(Izuna like. What could possibly be more important to my rival than ME. And anyway he can't possibly be doing anything GOOD so it's for the best I intervene really this is entirely altruistic-)

c) amongst all this, Tobirama still has to somehow maintain at least a vague, plausibly deniable, belief that he's like. A regular person, involved in only normal things. Because if anyone finds out what he's really doing, or what Zetsu really is, or that he's from the future (IZUNA GET YOUR NOSE OUT OF-), then that introduces just. SO MANY new moving parts and this is already fucking complicated enough as it is, alright? Yeah yeah yeah teamwork makes the dream work, two heads are better than one, etc, but this is essentially a war of information and manipulation between Zetsu and Tobirama and when your main power is info+manipulation the fucking LAST thing you want is more moving parts + more people who could leak info/know your info/unintentionally fuck up your (future) knowledge. No. As much as possible he has to do this on his own. Which means he needs to act like he's doing nothing at all. Actually spend time with his family, be seen running normal missions sometimes, help in clan matters, attend the Senju-Uchiha battles when relevant...

Which is all really really hard when there's only so much time in the day. And Zetsu doesn't have to worry about 'spending time with family' or anything so any time Tobirama spends doing that instead of working towards destroying Zetsu's shit is-

(thank fuck Tobirama still remembers how he invented shadow clones, is all he can say. thank fuck for that)

Over time Tobirama increasingly gets a handle on his terrifyingly long to-do list, which means that 'Izuna is being really annoying and following me almost all the time' moves up his priority list. Eventually Tobirama figures out that the easiest way to get Izuna to stop GETTING IN THE GODDAMN WAY is to just. Humour him. Give him attention. Yes yes you are the most important person in my life and all this inconvenient shit is just stopping me from devoting my energy to fighting you now if you could just put that lady over there under a genjutsu and- (Tobirama trying to get Izuna to help un-fuck Land of Water, it only sort of works)

At some point they fuck because Tobirama's stress levels are at an all-time high and he needs SOME sort of outlet. (Could be entirely sane+consensual (relatively. given who we're talking about) or it could be dubcon) and Izuna actually chills the fuck out for an entire ten hours afterwards. Amazing. Clearly they'll have to do this again

So they do

(yandere4yandere tobiizu for the win. Tobirama starts out normal (again, relatively, considering who we're talking about) whilst Izuna approached everything about Tobirama in a completely sideways obsessive way from the start, but Tobirama gradually starts to also get more obsessive/possessive over time. Like what do you mean the one person who has followed me unquestioningly for years and wants to kill me and kissed me yesterday and volunteered to help me fight a bijuu might LEAVE?? no. fuck you)

(Izuna with a hiraishin marker tattoo-)

anyway back to 'things even further complicating Tobirama's life':

optional letter d) Tobirama is trying so hard to seem normal and not like he's from the future or fighting an evil mold-plant-creature that wants to revive his mom from the moon. So, so hard. But alas, facts work against him

Like, I mean, imagine from an in-universe perspective. There's this guy with really weird colouring, he's known as the 'White Demon', he's better at suiton than anyone else alive and if you've seen him even SLIGHTLY try it's terrifying (think: drowning on dry land, sudden rain/storm/tsunami, blood ripped from a dozen bodies in half as many seconds-), there's? more than one of him? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE and he's so fucking hard to kill but even when you kill him he just. doesn't. die. (friendly reminder that Tobirama is abusing shadow clones like nobody's business in an attempt to stay on top of his insane amount of work to do -> yk, the jutsu he invented, that doesn't work like any other clone jutsu, and that in this timeline he has thus far told nobody about. someone destroys a shadow clone and is incredibly alarmed that theres 1) no corpse 2) the White Demon is STILL ALIVE after they KNOW they killed him?!)

There's also rumours about him fighting/negotiating with bijuu, and quite a few witnesses to his ongoing war with 'mold youkai'

The majority of people (excepting like, people he's close to in his own clan, plus Izuna and possibly a few others) aren't sure he ever sleeps or eats or drinks, and wounds don't seem to last long (healing jutsu from the future + whilst he's sleeping/eating his shadow clone(s) are still out and about)

Then there's the insane amount of knowledge and jutsu and inventions he offers-

Long story short on top of everything else, Tobirama doesn't have to deal with people knowing he's from the future or about the whole issue with Zetsu

....He DOES have to deal with basically svery person in existence being 100% convinced he's not human, though

[maidenvault]

It’s just a much more interesting idea to me that there are so many clone troopers in the galaxy they could populate a country and essentially do, that they’re basically their own people who developed their own culture, they don’t need to be Mandalorian in any meaningful way. They’re never portrayed that way in main canon except with the smallest of evidence (Rex’s helmet design or whatever) and it drives me kind of nuts.

Jango Fett sure as shit did not think of the clones as Mandalorian or give a crap about them. You know who gives a crap? Each other. They decided they’re more than an army, they’re the only family they have. It’s a practically universal clone thing that they call each other brothers even though they’re technically not and that’s part of their specific culture.

Going by names they chose for themselves or earned instead of their numbers is part of their culture. So are words like “shiny” and “bucket.” They paint designs on their armor and commonly have identifying tattoos as part of their culture.

In main canon we do see that clones generally think of themselves as Kaminoan humans. Like so many SW species the Kaminoans are simplistically treated in canon as being practically synonymous with the profession they’re known for, cloning, which I think kind of resolves the confusion about how the destruction of Tipoca City and the cloning facilities in TBB is later discussed as a genocidal destruction of the whole species and their home. It really drives home that Kamino isn’t really Kamino without them. They’re the reason those places were built and the vast majority of the people on that world were clones. It’s not a great home to come from but it was a place mostly specific to them where they had each other, the only home they actually knew growing up, unlike the Republic they fought for or Mandalore.

tl;dr who cares about deadbeat dad Jango and whatever “culture” he passed onto the clones.

[baejax-the-great]

If I were a writer at a big game company working on a sequel to a beloved series and the higher ups kept telling me to make the game shittier and kept sending my work back to me to be dumbed down even further somehow, and then once most of the writing was done they laid me and my coworkers off illegally without severance, I'd probably gleefully watch as people trashed the shitty game that shipped.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

charlies turn for the reference sheet beam

[welcometogrouchland]

(ID in alt) I literally said I was gonna post this month's ago and then never had the wherewithal to describe it and so I didn't Lmao (said with pain). But since I'm thinking of opening my commissions I figured I should remind ppl that I. Yknow. Can draw.

Lots of Steph here (I had major art block making all of these and my brain worms for her kept me going) + some sprinkles of stephcass for Cass nation to enjoy!

[im-kinno-hello]

and if i made a comic about them making a blog for the weird demon dog they found in the woods just because they are being brainwashed by it and it told them they need to spread the word of what word they don’t even fucking know?

[white-hole-station]

[Headcanon]

The space program took a whole month off of development after Tektite's accident, so that Slate could have the time to perfect their leg. They'd already been working on articulated flaps for in-atmosphere steering for Feldspar's ship - conserves fuel to not use jets for that - and hey, an artificial ankle is just another type of flap to articulate, right?

Gossan wasn't so sure - especially with Slate's full-tilt approach to experimental engineering, at odds with Tektite's trepidation - but all of the founders agreed that the program could wait until their neighbour was back on their feet. And to Slate's credit, Gossan had never seen them show as much sheer methodical focus, before or since. This was somebody's limb here, after all: their ability to move of their own accord, their ability to get out and about in the community and do the things they love, their ability to still feel like their body is their own. Slate was hardly about to phone it in, or risk any wild experiments when it came to Tektite's comfort and requirements.

It took several iterations, and several difficult test walks around the town square gripping Slate's arm, but together the pair of them worked out a final model that's been serving Tektite well to this day.

(...Of course, the dedication and focus that so pleasantly surprised Gossan only made Slate's awkward avoidance of them after their own accident sting even more. Was it really that hard on their poor guilty conscience, to think about doing something similar for a friend, instead of darting their gaze away just short of Gossan's face?)

[azure-clockwork]

I love three houses discourse because I'm pretty sure everyone just picks their route based on which house leader they're the most gay for and then tries to defend their pick by pointing out the other sides's war crimes via twitter memes. Reader, all four of them do substantial quantities of war crimes. So many. We're just here because the woman with Issues and a big fuck-off axe said so, and then we gotta justify everything she did in the name of dismantling the class system. I mean, I'm here for that, but you could also try justifying Charm Man uses poison and perfidy to try to stop racism, A Sad Little Meow Meow gives no quarter instead of doing therapy, or the Thicc Pope tries to bring back her mom via human experimentation, depending on your tastes

[bringerofdarkness-fancomic]

Bringer of Darkness: Arc 1, Page 22.

I can sense this emanates a strange feeling of... misfortune?

<PREVIOUS | FIRST | NEXT>

[huidol]

What a deceptive use of the word "you."

uncovered version under the cut

[renegadephilosopher]

My concept for what would be a Socrates dating sim (you play as Socrates) and you can fuck all the interlocutors while working through their dialogues as part of gameplay. There's 16 here in purple, and I picked four of the five-star ones to color in with more detail (I assume each person's character card would have colors attached. but here's Agathon, Alcibiades, Charmides, and Glaucon) (forgive the incorrect spelling on some names in the purple). It'd be called Logos and Longing: A Truly Socratic Dating Sim

This would, of course, be in the style of a ridiculous anime dating sim that's intentionally a little cringe and overblown (hence people's mini dialogue lines up there and their bios; it's a parody of that and very unserious).

Many more thoughts under the cut, in no particular order:

There are eight stats. Four of them are just character qualities (charisma as their success convincing other people of things, likeability for how much Athens likes them, intelligence in basic smartness, and truth in how much they care about that). Then the other four are the Virtues (justice, sophrosune, courage, wisdom).

Based on your interactions with the interlocutors, you change how much of each virtue they exhibit. What I drew is what I consider their starting levels to be

The number of stars is their 'fuckability' index. Some interlocutors I think are obviously more fuckable and that needed to be represented

A few main plot lines (aside from just each dialogue) would exist:

The Republic plotline. You can romance Thraymachus, Adeimantus, and Glaucon. Glaucon is treated as most fuckable in The Republic, so that's true here as well (he has more stars than Adeimantus)

The Alcibiades plot line. This one goes through the Protagoras, Alcibiades I, and the Symposium (obviously he has his plot line. Who am I kidding?)

You can fuck anyone who was at the Symposium and gave a speech. They're not all good choices (idk what you would do with Eryxymachus, for example. I don't think I made him a card but in my mind he's in there).

The Thirty Tyrants plot line. Basically anyone who was in a dialogue who was involved in the Thirty Tyrants gets involved here. New and interesting ways for you to romance people while they're doing that.

Everything else is just like stand-alone episodes with the dialogues. You have some options, you go through all the main logical points of the dialogue, and then you have opportunity to romance the interlocutor

Inter-NPC interactions:

I figured since most of these people would have known each other, you can impact your relationships with other interlocutors based on who you romance.

If you romance either Glaucon or Charmides, you piss off Critias to some degree (Charmides was his cousin iirc and Glaucon was recorded as his beloved. So. He wouldn't love that I assume)

That's generally true for most people in the erastes/eromenos relationships. If you go after one who's already in a relationship, that might cause NPC strife later on for you. The same thing if you romance an NPC who has some familial relation that's also in the game

You can romance Pausanias and Agathon both, but if you go after just one, you'll get jealousy or anger from the other. If you keep a good relationship with Pausanias in one way or another, he'll try to help you out when you go on trial. Agathon and Pausanias is one of the only ones where you can romance both simultaneously and create some kind of weird three-way situation

If you romance anyone who isn't Alcibiades, he gets annoyed. Thankfully you can win him back but he won't be happy about it

Glaucon and Adeimantus both get jealous if you romance the other

The game would sort of be non-linear, to the point where you can make decisions in flashbacks that change your current interactions with the interlocutors. You can "alter" the historical record by making specific choices (an example would be depending on if you can raise your own 'likeability' stat high enough, you could get closer to avoiding the death sentence--but you couldn't actually escape it fully, just slightly change the outcome. Or alternatively, if you manage to get enough philosophy into Alcibiades, he'll dial it back just a tiny bit, enough for his name to not be used during your trial. Things like that).

Game ends when you die

You can get different achievements unlocked based on how close to maxing out other people's romance bars you are, or based on how high their virtue bars get after talking to you (since you can make people more virtuous by choosing the right options in your dialogues)

You can also raise or lower your own virtue. If you resist other people's advances often, your 'sophrosune' bar goes up. If you accept all of that and libations and everything, it goes down.

If you lower your own virtues or likeability too fast, you get put on trial faster (you can slow this process if people like you, but after the end of the thirty tyrants arc, it's really the beginning of the end)

Different characters will help you out by gifting you things if you romance them (this doesn't even mean full romance, it's more if you cross a certain threshold), and you can potentially unlock additional scenes (ones that aren't in dialogues, or are very side-bars in dialogues, or exist in the historical record or thucydides or something instead)

You can get a fade-to-black with *most* characters (i say most because some are omitted from this despite being "romanceable")

Layout of who's what level:

Five stars: Alcibiades (obvious), Glaucon (Socrates clearly likes him best in the Republic and lets him have the very best allegories), Charmides (what the hell is the opening to this dialogue. come on now. in this dating sim Charmides would be 18 at least during that dialogue; not sure what it is in the actual platonic canon), Phaedrus (this entire dialogue is basically them going on a riverside picnic to give speeches about love), Agathon (Socrates is already trying to glom onto him in the Symposium. for some reason)

Four stars: Crito (he obviously cares deeply. we all need a Crito in life), Lysis (the only one interlocutor you can't fuck because he's too little. your 'romance' here is just garnering his affection) and by extension Menexenus (same deal as Lysis. just getting affection, nothing more. also Lysis-aged)

Three stars: Aristophanes (vulgar, Socrates probably liked him better before The Clouds dropped), Pausanias (symposium participant; agathon's loving boyfriend), Adeimantus (dollar store Glaucon. sorry), Laches (that dialogue opens with them talking about if hoplites should be training naked or not. ok)

Two stars: Theatetus (he's just here. idk), Protagoras (general sophist behavior; mid; Socrates has better prospects), Critias (tyrannical soul fail)

One star: Thrasymachus ("might makes right", obnoxious and also a sophist again), Euthyphro (that entire dialogue is just him getting deservedly dragged. hate fuck situation if anything. he's annoying)

Obviously i'm leaving some out so if you read this and see your favorite interlocutor missing sorry. anyway if i had an ounce of coding capability in my blood i would make this. im tempted to just make it a scripted story alone (no art or anything, just music and choosing the options and people's stat bars) but whatever.

[flightlesstrash]

yeah, i'd swim the paladin strait for you. wouldn't even need to use flotation, either. all i'd need is to see you waiting for me on the other shoreline. that's it.

[devilsparda]

—

[an-assortment-of-forks]

now should I message my best friend that I haven't talked to in like 5 years? who I ghosted and moved across the country from? asking for a friend.