I think the thing that bothers me most about how criticism perceives the fandom is that a lot of them treat c!Tommy as like a y/n of an abuse victim rather than his own character. Like, yes it’s valid that you are upset by his decision and that you would rather he have done something else but like… that’s not what what c!Tommy was. c!Tommy’s choice was his closure as best suited to him because trauma isn’t universal and people aren’t a monolith.
This is a mild follow-up to a post I made earlier about c!Tommy’s story being a coming of age and overcoming a child’s black and white world view. It’s buried in the many many other posts I’ve made, but the key point I’m elaborating on here is that c!Tommy’s entire character arc was completed when he chose to understand Dream as a person.
Tommy has always been extremely self-aware, defending himself rather than accepting pain. Tommy was aware he didn’t deserve the blame placed upon him, and he was aware that he didn’t deserve to be hurt. He knew that the justification others claimed was flimsy at best, especially when he was treated worse for things others did too. He was fully aware of this and fought back.
However, just because he knew he didn’t deserve it didn’t mean he understood it. If the things he did “deserved” to “punish” him worse than others, then surely there was a reason for why it had to be him. Without any other possible explanations, Tommy determined that the reason behind his suffering was because Dream was obsessed with his very existence. It wasn’t his fault. It was because Dream was evil.
To c!Tommy, c!Dream had always been a force of absolute evil, an inescapable monster who hurt needlessly. To anyone, being hurt for things beyond your understanding is inevitably scary. The belief that no matter what he did, Dream would hurt Tommy because it was Tommy, nothing more, nothing less. Tommy only ever wanted to feel safe and happy, and he would do fucking anything to escape the inevitable pain. The prison wasn’t the safety barrier he could rely on anymore, and death especially wasn’t an option for escape as long as Dream (and Punz) still had the knowledge of the revive book. The fear that at any moment for any reason, The Unfathomable Evil would hurt him only worsened Tommy’s mental state and paranoia until he was barely husk of a person.
The abstract is scary. c!Dream perfectly embodies the existential fear of the unknown. This was how everyone perceived Dream, not just Tommy.
Tommy, endlessly afraid but so compassionate and kind, chose to free the server of the Pure Evil at the cost of himself. Even though he knew he didn’t deserve it, he still believed his very existence was the crime itself.
When Tommy chose to understand Dream at the very end, it wasn’t understanding out of the sake of compassion. It was his compassion that allowed him to understand for the sake of his freedom. He finally understood why Dream had chosen him to hurt, to abuse, to torture. c!Dream is a terrible person, but he was a terrible person with the very human understanding for why he chose Tommy. Tommy was just the wrong person at the wrong time.
In my previous posts, I emphasize that Sapnap was the one to aid Tommy in killing Dream that very first time all those years ago. No one was happy under Dream’s iron grip, but it just so happened that Tommy was the first one to win against Dream. It didn’t have to be Tommy. It could have been anyone else, but it just happened to be Tommy who received Dream’s ire first.
And that was freeing. It was clarity, a weight lifted off of Tommy’s shoulders. He knew he didn’t deserve it, but now he understood that he wasn’t being hurt simply because he existed. This was no longer some abstract unknown that would hurt him just for the sake of his very existence. It was a real, tangible reason with a real human motive. It was a problem Tommy finally had control over had he just understood sooner.
That’s not to say Dream wouldn’t have still been an manipulative piece of shit, but at the very least Tommy wouldn’t be paranoid and confused and scared out of his mind, obsessed that Dream was obsessed with him. But they could have come to an understanding sooner, before Dream truly became the Evil Villaiin everyone made him out to be, before everyone turned against him, before there was no turning back.
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Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.
NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.
I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.
The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.
Because it's so hard to exist in this world.
My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:
Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)
Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.
Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.
Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.
Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.
Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s
I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.
So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".
Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)
Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.
If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.
NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD
Stigma in the DSM
Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)
"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."
(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)
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In defense of a "Wicked Stepmother":
Sarah's Stepmother in "Labyrinth", named Irene in tie-in media, only gets about a minute of screen time before Sarah rushes off to her room in a soaked snit. Fanfic writers usually turn her into an evil bitch and even the manga sequel, "Return to Labyrinth", has her cold and abusive to Toby, her biological child. But here's the thing...
I think Sarah's mother gets a bum rap.
Dressing nicely for an evening out and having mild conflict with a teenager does not a Lady Tremaine make. And as someone who actually lived with a narcissistic, manipulative, emotionally abusive stepfather, I can tell you that Irene doesn't even come close to wicked step parent territory.
Backstory first. It's never spoken of in the film, but clues in Sarah's room tell us that her real mother is a stage actress who abandoned her and her father for another actor. Sarah idolizes her mother and tries to emulate her with play acting. Sarah's father met and married Irene sometime after Linda ran off, and Sarah, who thinks her mom walks on water, resents the hell out of Irene for taking her place. A place that Linda abandoned for another man.
She couldn't help it. He looked like David Bowie.
Let's look at her first alledged transgression. She won't let Merlin into the house. Instead she orders him into the garage. Heartless, we assume because we all love dogs and only the most soulless of monsters don't. But slow down. She didn't leave him out in the rain. She put him in the garage. Furthermore, Merlin is an Old English Sheepdog. Is he a nice dog? Sure, but he's also a breed that's notorious for being high maintenance and hard to keep clean and right now he's soaking wet and filthy. Irene isn't being cruel, she's trying to keep him from ruining the carpet.
So now Sarah and Irene are in the house about to have their confrontation. "Sarah, you're an hour late..."
Sarah lost track of time. Sarah is the one who screwed up. Irene has every right to be frustrated. For all we know, she and Robert were supposed to see a movie or meet someone and Sarah's tardiness wrecks their plans. Note, please, that while she is frustrated, she's not even yelling. My mom would have screamed bloody murder and then held it over my head for weeks.
"Your father and I go out very rarely..."
"You go out every single weekend!"
There is no way to confirm who is right on this. I will say Sarah is the one prone to hysterics and exaggeration, so it's not looking good for her.
"And I ask you to babysit only if it won't interfere with your plans."
I ask. Irene asks. She doesn't demand, and she doesn't expect Sarah to give up her previous plans.
"Well how would you know what my plans are? You don't even ask me anymore!"
Sarah, you were LARPing in a park by yourself. Furthermore, with the storm you would have gone home anyway.
"Well I assume you would tell me if you had a date. I'd like it if you had a date. You should have dates at your age."
Irene doesn't want Sarah to be a Cinderella stuck at home every night. She wants her to go out and have a social life. This is literally the opposite of the bedtime story Sarah tells Toby later.
Also, "I'd assume you tell me..." Irene might not be wording it in the best way here, but she wants Sarah to communicate with her. She wants them to have a relationship.
Then Robert enters the scene. "Sarah, you're home. We were worried about you."
WE were worried. As in both he and Irene. You think that's the reason she was waiting on the porch? Because their sixteen year old daughter is an hour past when she said she'd be home and now it's raining and getting dark?
It's not like she'd ever talk to a stranger.
Sarah runs up the stairs in a snit, not even acknowledging her father and leaving Irene dismayed. "She treats me like a wicked stepmother in a fairy story no matter what I say." Her voice isn't angry, it's hurt. She's making an effort to reach Sarah, but nothings working. She can't break through the tantrums and the anger and the hero worship of Linda.
Sarah is a fantasy junkie. It's all over her room. Her books are all fairy tales. Her dog and her teddy bear are named after figures from Arthurian legend. But she's wrapped herself in a different kind of fantasy, a toxic one. One where Irene, well meaning and kind, is one of the evil stepmothers from her fairytale books, while Linda is good and virtuous like one of the dead moms at the beginning. Except Linda isn't dead. She's shtupping a costar.
Part of Sarah's coming of age and maturity is rejecting Jareth, the stand in for her mother's lover and therefore finally rejecting following her mother's selfish path. We see her finally let go of Linda by putting her picture and clippings in the drawer. Hopefully, the next morning, after she picks the confetti out of her hair, she'll finally be able to start over with Irene.
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🧝🏻♀️ superniceempathtrustme13 Follow
The first signs of a narcissist is their bad energy. You’ll feel engulfed the second you step into the room. Their eyes will turn black and they will start using their satanic manipulation powers on you. Then, it’s very subtle, but they will sprout huge, curled, black devil horns from their head and will tear you to shreds, all in the span of a second, and then personally drag your body to hell. The only way to stop them is to literally kill them.
Follow for more tips on how to stay safe! 🤗
#positivity #empathy #empath #self care #self love #NARCS KILL YOURSELVES #abuse survivor #recovery #love #hope #happiness
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🌼 npdiscovery
hey guys can we please stop throwing people with personality disorders under the bus?
🧝🏻♀️ superniceempathtrustme13 Follow
This is a prime example on why narcissists will always be evil abusers. Here one is, right now, denying that I went through abuse and saying my trauma isn’t real. It’s messed up. We need to permanently kick out narcissists from public spaces, because stuff like this is NOT okay. Here is a link on how to trigger a narcissistic collapse for your next encounter. Just be warned, some narcissists are known to shoot lazers from their eyes when they’re angry.
#stay safe! #abuse surviver #narc abuse #ppl with npd are inherently evil #i would know i’m an empath so i’m better #i mean not evil #positivity #safety #self care #a better world #self love
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