thatfrailsoul

[thatfrailsoul]

– I knew you in another life

Divinatory Jukebox: "Birds of a Feather", by Billie Eilish

pictures from pinterest → one, two, three

dividers by → @hyuneskkami

There is a form of love that… Feels like we carry it from the very start, from the very beginning of our lives. A love that flows through our veins, through our consciousness, following us in our every thought and step. A love that is here even before them, when we still need to meet that one person… And that remains even after they left. After they turned away their gaze, ignoring, for one reason or another, so fiercely a love that within us will always feel the same. There is a form of love that transcends us, our choices and actions, our relationships, their outcomes… A love that overshadows other emotions, or perhaps fuses with them, creating something that feels like a bittersweet call of love that is painfully aware that it shouldn't be here anymore… But that is still not ready to vanish from our hearts, leaving us alone.

Is it a blessing or a mistake, to have allowed yourself to love them so deeply? Is it foollish, to still feel that warmth when you think about them, even after everything that you both have done? Was there even a reason for all of this, for all the dreams, the feeling of having someone out there that is just so right, and the failure of not living up to the desires of your own heart? Will it ever change, will it ever free you from the memories of how things could've been if only they felt you too, if only they remembered you, from another life?

p.s.

This is not just a reading… This is a story. One that might be all yours, one that might feel so familiar and yet different, one that might be of someone else but still call to you, wanting to be read by you, wanting to tell you something, even if it might resonate some time later, in another journey or story of yours… So don't feel pressure nor limitations. Read it all, or just a little passage. Follow the whole story or just a moment that is calling you through the image that caught your attention right from the start… And don't worry. Nothing is obligatory, nothing is useless. Because you are the one to choose and to decide.

– In all that happened, in all that you have done…

(The justice)

There are no mistakes when it comes to a heart, your heart. There are no things, no emotions, no choices that are wrong, when you make them following its calling, discovering this world and life one feeling at a time.

So no, it wasn't your fault, nor of your heart that felt it so deeply, that thought that it was real, that love… You are only you, you are simply human… Can you really fight that feeling? That joy, that shyness and at the same time excitement, that fear but also passion? Can one really not allow a child to try to make its first step? Can one really pretend that they will be able to run with confidence, when the right moment will arrive, without any fear, without any doubt?

It might not have been forever, it might not have been exactly like you felt it, like you imagined it… But it still doesn't make it wrong. To love someone, to fall for them so confidently, trusting that they will see it, understand it, desire it, catching you with their arms and holding you tight. It is natural, it is normal. It is needed too. To be overwhelmed with all these emotions that are caused all by the same story, by the same person that captured you.

It would've been worse if you didn't let it confuse you, if you didn't let it infatuate you. It would've been much worse if you never tried. Walking away but spending so many sleepless nights thinking about what sensations it gives, when you allow your heart to feel it.

It was a lesson in disguise, a tragic story… But it was sweet in some precious moments, wasn't it? And that, trust me, makes it worth it. Those emotions that you wouldn't know if it wasn't for them, for all of this…

– And now that all that is left is a heart that is too broken even to grieve them…

(The world)

It feels like the end of it, your heart in pieces, all the emotions flowing out, emptying you from the inside… Your mind, your body, they are all so tired. Every action, every word, feels a thousand times heavier now that you have only yourself to fuel this heart. No other love. No other person…

But for the worst or for the best, this is only the beginning. Even if you already got through so much. Even if they felt so overwhelmingly right, in their perfect way to connect with you, from the first gaze, the first laugh… Even if all of this felt so right that you can't accept now that it wasn't. Even if there seems no space for anyone else, not even your own self at times, because of too many memories that are surrounding you at every step, at every turn you make in this life…

They made you feel so full of life and love. Your mind overflowed with the dreams about them. They made you feel your every inch, under their touch, under their kisses. They filled your life so perfectly, as if all those spaces were made for them… But now that they are not here anymore you can see all those rough edges, all those angles that they carved themselves, with you helping to empty them of parts of you, just to make space for them. And even if you did it willingly or you were infatuated, manipulated… Now it doesn't matter. Not in this moment, when you look at yourself, at their vanishing steps, and simply don't know what to do with all of this. Don't have any idea about how to repair it. If you should do it even, if it's really all that there ever will happen, if it is right to try to move on after swearing that this was the love that you were waiting and fighting for.

But you don't need to understand, you don't need to do anything now. Only allow this uncertainty and confusion to wander freely. Because it is a lesson, every story that we live is. But some answers and explanations to it are not found by asking for them, actively searching, by denying everything you were before and trying to completely change yourself thinking that this is what this lesson wanted… Sometimes a lesson is learned through healing, in those moments after the storm, when we are still too scared, too tired to already repair and clean everything up… So we just stay there for a moment, in silence, in contemplation, not blaming ourselves for not foreseeing it nor stressing about the next one that could happen, but simply finding comfort in the fact that we made it now, that we are safe and there is nothing to be afraid of in this moment.

You are alone now, you are surrounded by silence, the days pass so slowly. And it is so strange compared to all the emotions and events that made your life rush by so fastly. And it does feel somehow inconclusive, strange, annoying… But it is okay this way too. When everything is simply taking its time to evolve, to heal, to regrow, inviting you to do the same, slowly.

It is not the end, you will not remain this way, you won't feel forever broken. But there is no need to stress about it now, to fear or wander. There is no need to do anything but allow yourself to grieve. Them, this love and connection, and who you were when you were living those moments.

Everything else… Will happen on its own. When you let it be, when you stop clenching so tightly your hands, afraid that if you let go everything will collapse around you.

– Because you will heal regardless…

(Three of cups)

Alone or while being tenderly held by someone… On your own, or while being taken care of… Through the moments of reflection that will be only yours, hidden in the safety of your own mind, or through those shared with someone else perhaps… But you will make it, your heart will. Every piece will come back to you, every wound will be healed. And that emptiness will be filled. With so much more love than what you could've ever imagined. A love that won’t be only yours. Or only romantic. A love that won’t come only from one story or journey. A love that will not only fill in the emptiness that they left… But a love that will be true and genuine.

Because more than being a lesson… It was a rough reminder. The one about not idealising just one thing, forgetting about the others, assuming that nothing else could ever be so beautiful, so fulfilling, so precious as that one. A reminder to not put yourself in a cage because of a desire or dream. Not if it is about a person, a thing, or a feeling. A reminder to not have so much conviction to sacrifice everything else just to obtain this… Because a romantic love is beautiful, it's sweet, but is it the only type there is?

You've spent so much time dreaming about it, fantasizing, hoping. That you created your own story. Your own right person, all their ways, all the emotions that you were supposed to feel when you would be with them. You decided everything, and waited, refusing any thing that wasn't exactly like you saw it in your dreams… You waited for so long that it confused you, frustrated you to the point of settling for anything that was similar on the surface, just for the sake of making it happen and confirming your story. A story that you wrote yourself, but still so roughly. A story that was full of missing details, because your mind and excitement was focused on others and bigger ones. And yet it was exactly them, those tiny little things, that never allowed it to work how it was supposed to. Like the buttons of a dress that was forced to hug someone that was too wrong for them, just for the sake of seeing it on and finally real, ignoring the fact that sooner or later those poor buttons would explode. Not because of the dress, of their lack of strength and effort, or because of the person… But simply because they weren't meant for each other.

And now that it did happen, now that you were abruptly awakened… You are here with all of this in your hands, some buttons and cloth that lost its form. And the world asks you to not try to do the same thing to save them… But instead try to create something new and right for each one of them, for each longing that you have. Don't collide and force it into one big perfect dream. Look for one thing at a time, allowing them to surprise and come to you in different ways and forms that together will create your life.

One story, thing or person that gives you all is not the right way to manifest your dreams, and you know it too. So don't rush, don't force. Nor yourself nor the events. Don't look for shortcuts to have it all together. Allow yourself to grow and evolve, creating the life you want one step at a time, one thing at a time. One and each piece that connects to you, not to someone else and their presence.

p.s.

♡ Toss a coin to your reader

♡ Receive personal guidance from me

_

[thatfrailsoul]

Divination Jukebox

birds of a feather - billie eilish

“i knew you in another life, you had that same look in your eyes, i love you don’t act so surprised”

Such an honour to have this song to be the one that concludes (for now) our Jukebox. *-* I looked forward to doing the reading for this one, and now that I'm finally doing it I just feel overwhelmed with the warmth and tenderness that this song gives me. Such a powerful message, but transmitted with delicacy… Thank you so much for suggesting this song! And I hope that one day I'll receive one of your suggestions once again.♡

p.s. The reading will be posted in the next few days ♡ ~

[thatfrailsoul]

Siren sisters by Betty Jiang

[thatfrailsoul]

Painting by Odd Nerdrum.

[thatfrailsoul]

– The knight of cups

No matter who you are or where you are now, there is something that this world wants to whisper to you, through this little message that found you.♡

To feel like you ought to let go of something, now or sooner or later… To sacrifice and say goodbye, even if you feel the tears in your eyes, even if you know for sure that you will miss it… Just because it might be so inconvenient, so uncomfortable, so annoying for someone, that your attention and care for it, that your joy for having it, for experiencing even that tiny bit of something that feels so much like home for you…

It is tough. It is tough on you. And it hurts even more when you know so well that this shouldn't be the case, that this isn't right, to force you to surrender and let go just so something else could work better… And yet you are the one pressuring yourself. With all those thoughts and doubts, those convictions that things all around you could be so much better if only you focused more on something else, if only you get rid of this one, clearing up the time and space…

It is tough because there isn't really someone telling you all of this, convincing you to give up - it is all simply in your head, your own voice that is trying to shut your emotions and protests down. It is your own mind that is so mean and loving at the same time. So caring for others, enough to not ask them to help, or to sacrifice something of their life. And so sure when it says to your own self that you need to stop, that it all has to do with your decisions and desires.

But does it really..? Or do you feel simply guilty for enjoying something for once? Do you feel strange in having those moments, those spaces just for you and your freedom of doing with it what you want? Is it simply uncomfortable, so unusual, to commit to something that doesn't have a direct and financial, stable, somehow ‘’serious’’ or right impact on your future or on your life now? Are you simply not used to doing something that you just like, without any particular reason behind it, without any grand expectation apart from experiencing it now?

Because I can assure you that no one notices it. Those times that you spend doing it. No one judges your excitement, your desire, your eyes that shine when your free time finally arrives. No one cares. In the sweetest way. Because it doesn't matter how much you spend on it, your attention, time, money or space… It doesn't matter because it is probably the only thing that you really do just for yourself. And this is the only thing that measures its worth.

Let go of all these complicated and fearful thoughts. You are not doing something bad or dangerous, you are not hurting anyone. You just found for once something that ignites that passion in you, and there is nothing wrong with it, with doing it. Don't force yourself to stop, to be more serious, collected, disciplined even in your own free time… Instead, force yourself, gently, to get used to the concept that you can do whatever you want, whatever you feel like doing, whatever your heart needs or wants. Get used to being calm and at peace, to truly enjoy it in the moment, instead of torturing your poor self because of your dareness to have fun doing something.

p.s.

• Toss a coin to your reader

• Receive personal guidance from me

• Picture from → pinterest

• Divider from → @hyuneskkami

_

[thatfrailsoul]

[thatfrailsoul]

[thatfrailsoul]

– The step never taken

a tarot reading

pictures from pinterest → one, two, three

dividers by → @hyuneskkami

Sometimes… we do have the power to make that change. To take that step, exactly in the direction that we want to, in the one on which we were already keeping an eye on, lingering, reflecting, thinking. Sometimes we can simply do it, take a breath, turn around and walk towards it… But, sometimes, this is exactly the reason why we can’t do it. Sometimes it’s just too much freedom, too many possibilities, too many chances, good and bad, that depend on us, that are only our responsibility. Too many outcomes that are possible now, when we step out of our same, old, and safe limits… So we just stay, not here nor there. Still pondering, still overthinking. Still wanting so badly to just do it, because it feels so right and needed. And still being afraid that, if we dare to do it, it will be just the end of it. No returning back. No good endings. No victories. Only a mistake that will cost too much to make out of it.

Today… we won’t have a classic reading. It won’t be just messages, just glimpses. It will be more of a story, a story worth reading, because even if not every word will resonate with all of us… There might still be a quote, a phrase, a thought, that will seem to speak to us so clearly. So just stop by for a moment, if you want to. Read the whole story or… just follow that one passage that seems to call you. No rush, no pressure, no rules nor limits. Take what resonates, with you, and the rest let it be, for someone else to hear it.

p.s.

In the moments when you feel the need to receive guidance, to find a message or a reading that is personal, just for you and there is no one else to hear it…

Thank you so much for letting me know!♡

– What is this feeling..?

(Two of coins)

It is just not like you've expected, isn't it? Now that you are here, finally living it, it just doesn't feel the same, not how your heart felt when you were only imagining it. And nothing really gave it away either… No doubts, no fears in that excited heart of yours that just felt so ready to live it. Nothing would've stopped you, nothing would've convinced you of not doing it, of not believing in it. Simply because it was the very first decision, the very first time you've looked forward so much to something… And also, the first time you felt so understood and protected, guided, by those next to you. Those that were so convincing when talking about how it was made just for you, this path on which you are standing now confused and frustrated.

Because it didn't go the way it was supposed to. Not even a little bit. All those exciting adventures became only stress, only problems to fight through, only mistakes that are so difficult to understand and never repeat to. Every step is a doubt, every failure just pure anger. Anger fueled by the view of others that are making it, exactly where you are failing. The ones that, you know well, are just doing their thing, they are not doing it to humiliate you. And yet this is exactly what you feel, one of the emotions that are consuming you so deep. The humiliation, the frustration, of discovering of not being good enough. Not only for others… But for your own goals. It is just so depressing… and heavy. Heavy because of all those things that you wanted to achieve and that now you are supposed to surrender to.

It is the right thing, you know it so well. But how someone can say so easily goodbye to something that for so long meant so much? How one can just decide that this is not it, while so many loving ones are standing by your side, believing in you, cheering you? How one can say out loud that they made a mistake and that this is not right for them, after they spent so much time working on it, sacrificing for it? And, how on earth, one can just walk away in a different direction, without any sureness that it won't be just another mistake, another misunderstanding, another failure?

There are no guarantees, only a feeling. The one that you know so well, because of how strongly you felt it before arriving here. The one that convinced you to do it all, the one that made you feel so safe in believing in it… The one that now you simply can't force yourself to trust anymore, even if it is showing you a different way of going through it, of achieving…

But no matter how much time passes, no matter how much you ignore it, it is still here, this possibility. Deep down in your mind when it just doesn't stop to whisper to you. About all the better chances, about the new and fresh beginnings free from the pressure and burden of these failures and never realized ideas. About different paces, different experiences, different approaches that now seem so right for your tired heart and mind that struggled to adapt to the one you are still forcing yourself to live in. It is always staying here, waiting for you so patiently that it hurts so deeply. Knowing so well that it is all up to you, that the only reason things are not changing is because you are afraid of letting them, afraid of admitting to have failed and afraid of doing it again right after it.

It is confusing. But also so comforting and weirdly useful. To know that there is another way, that you can change it all if only you decide to. So much that it only convinces you more to stay here, in this limbo, where nothing worse can happen anymore, where there are other possibilities to change everything, only if you want to.

– Maybe it’s better to just stay..?

(The lovers)

It will be quite a journey indeed. To stay. To not do nothing. To not change it. To remain right here where your heart already doesn't feel right. To fight, or to ignore, all those thoughts that remind you of how you are not making it… It will be quite a journey, the one of getting to know yourself more, through all those battles and conflicts within you.

There are no wrong choices or journeys, as they say. There are only different lessons to learn from, different gifts from this life… And yet some are certainly more desired, if it comes to what we prefer to feel as we go through them.

To learn more gently, with a slower pace, to grow imperceptibly, or all at once while feeling every bone and muscle hurt. To get there still excited, still hopeful, or too tired to feel that joy… The difference seems so little, in the moment, and yet the way we go through it changes are so profoundly. Changes who we become, how we feel this life, what we tell ourselves about it…

And this is how it will go for you, if you stay here, without changing nothing: you still will make it, you will still arrive at the same outcome, you will find the same courage to just go for it, to step on that different journey… But so much time will pass before you will be able to do it, before you will trust yourself on it, before you will convince that doubtful and fearful part of you that will resist it so much.

The inner arguments, the pros and cons, the cheerfulness and kindness, and the rudeness and judgment of the same person… You will tear yourself apart in this whole process. One day at a time, it will be a battle, one after another. A game of chess that you will play with your own self. There will be no person, no words, no opinion that will be enough to stop this. They will merely distract you, temporarily convince you of one way or another, before the other part of you steps in and crushes it. Because no voice will ever be as powerful as your own, and you will learn it.

Sitting with yourself, thinking, arguing. As time will keep on going, as you will keep on enduring something that you no longer want to… this fight will never stop. The thoughts of staying or of moving on will never disappear, will never not stand their ground.

And little by little, through all this confusion, you will manage to arrive at an answer, to a choice that you always knew was right. Just a little later, a little more tired. And unable to ignore the thought of how things could've been if you just did it, without spending so much time on checking and making sure that it is the safe and right decision, how many things you could've already accomplished by the time you will make the step in that direction…

– So is this it, you just go for it..?

(The eight of wands)

The answer is in your itching hands, in your tense legs, in your frenetic heart and mind that just rush into it every time you try to imagine how it could be. The answer is in those inevitable dreams and thoughts that make you wander, the ones that suck you in, in that world of fantasy of your own where you are already living that journey… The answer is in you that never really let go of that option. Because there is a reason for it. And it's simply the fact that you already feel it yours now.

It might seem rushed or not well thought about to others, it might feel sudden to your own self that was already surrendering to this situation and things going nowhere… And yet it is never wrong to act on a desire so strong that not doing it consumes you.

There is a lot that is happening now, so many emotions and thoughts, so many ups and downs, so many problems… That all you want to do is to slow down and give yourself a moment. Without deciding nor pondering. You feel tired now, because everything around you seems to go so fast… But it is an impression, a rollercoaster of feelings that hides the reality of stagnation and silence, of the absence of progress. And while it seems like doing this step, changing things, will make it all spin more… Actually it will push you enough to let that veil drop, allowing you to see the truth behind this tiredness, that doesn't come from the journey itself and what is happening, but more from how you are feeling about it.

Finding courage and doing it won’t make things worse. It simply can’t, because you are already feeling so down. It will change them, everything will be different, yes. But there is nothing wrong with it. With starting all over again, trying, experimenting, learning, adapting… There is nothing wrong with it when you are doing it in a completely different context, different for the way it makes you feel already now.

And yes it is so scarily similar. This desire to do it and the conviction that everything will go so well. But it doesn't mean automatically that it will end in the same exact way. It doesn't mean that this one is a mistake as well… Simply because there wasn't one to begin with. It was, it is, just life. A little bit complicated, a little bit tricky. But it is still all part of the plan. Even the journeys that you walk only halfway through, realising that they are not for you. Even the chapters that have only a few lines that resonate with you. There are situations that are meant to be the goal, the happy ending… And there are also the ones that only lead you to them. This is one of those. You were meant to see and feel it. You were meant to try and to understand. And there is nothing to be ashamed of or to be scared. Because you are not failing and pathetically hanging on to hopes and useless tries... You are just continuing your own story and journey.

p.p.s.

♡ Toss a coin to your reader

♡ Find my readings directly in your inbox

♡ Receive personal guidance from me

_

[thatfrailsoul]

– The judgement and the lovers

someday in july... a message for you

So many hopes, so many desires, so many goals, plans, expectations, things to try, organise and do. So much growing pressure in your chest, with each second that passes by, that doesn't give you time to even realise what is most important, what is more convenient to start from, how to do it all, making of this confusion and bits of journeys something that you really want, something that could be really worth it…

The days are flying by so fast now, even though the single moments feel stretched and inescapable… All because of so many things overwhelming your mind, so loud that you can't anymore hear your own thoughts, or be focused enough to feel your own body that is starting to become so tired and heavy now…

I know it is important, for you or for someone else, now or for your future and some bigger picture. I know that you want to do it, to make it all work, you want it truly… But I also know that you are only one, you have only two hands and legs, you have only this much energy to go on with, until you consume yourself too much…

Just breathe. I beg you. Just give yourself some time. Slow down. Nothing will implode, go wrong, become even worse, just because you will take those hours to lay down, to watch a show or read , to listen to your own breath without doing anything in particular. It won't happen, even if it feels like it. Even if I feel it too, that fear of not doing enough, as I'm writing this to you… It won't happen, I promise you. You will be fine. And so will be your journeys, your projects. Because you are the one that creates them, you are the one that gives them life and helps them grow. And they will not vanish, they will not go away or further, just because you will not keep an eye on them for a moment, a moment that you will dedicate only to yourself.

You need it. You need that rest. Even if it is inconvenient, or not worthy, or not necessarily like you are convincing yourself now… You still need it. Because that one little gesture of love towards your own self will change so much. It will heal your tired body and mind.

Just give yourself some time.

p.s.

♡ Picture from pinterest

♡ Toss a coin to your reader

♡ Receive personal guidance from me

_

[thatfrailsoul]

– Take our time and make it ours

Divinatory Jukebox: "All your days", by Shallou ft. Emmit Fenn.

pictures from pinterest → one, two, three (by elsa danielson)

That seat, right next to you… is empty. Those sunsets are admired only by your eyes. Your cold shoulders shrink, looking on their own for that warm comfort. Your own fingers on your cheeks are the only touch you feel. And yet… there is no space for someone else, there is no way to let someone closer. Those smiles, that laugh, those moments are overwhelming. Even if they are already far away in the past. Even if… perhaps they never were a part of your life. They are still real, so bittersweet, so lovely. And it seems like nothing else, no one else, will ever compare to them. So why bother, putting your heart out there for the first time or... once again?

For some, it is a never ending love story, so frustrating and yet so sweet. For others, it is a goodbye that they were forced to whisper, letting go of that hand no matter what they feel. And for someone else… It is a feeling, a knowing, that out there somewhere there is another soul that is already calling for them, reaching for them in their sleep... But, no matter who they are for you, they have a message now. A message that comes from their heart, their soul, their memory of the future or of the past… A message that you need to hear, that needs to reach you, in hopes to finally set you free. To take away that guilt for moving on, that frustration for trying, the simple indulgence in letting someone closer, or that fear of being hurt when you finally thought that you found the one and let your guard down, trapping you in a cage of the first’s love heartache and sadness.

P.s. There is something so exciting and intimate, in finding out and deciphering the messages that are meant for us through these songs, these signs… That I was thinking about creating a new category of readings for us here, similar to the jukebox but based on something else, for example on films and the scenes that resonated with our souls to their core...

{ Thank you for letting me know!♡ }

– Pile One,

the clover: the nine of coins and the lovers

After such a long time… After all the tries, the hope, the wait, the benefit of the doubt… It does become tiring. It does lose its importance, to have someone by your side, when you become used to going through so many things on your own in this life.

It doesn't really matter anymore. The how, the when, the if. It gets put aside, moved by all the other things, and it gets forgotten. If not for that little heartache, that little loneliness, that re-emerges once in a while. But not enough. Not enough to convince you to care for it like you used to. Not enough to lure you past the occasional contagious laughs and flirty conversations. Not enough to make you hope again that there might be indeed more… And not enough to work for it.

It's just all the same. The same excitement, hopes, and heartbreaks. One after another, no matter the person, their character or yours, no matter the circumstances… So why try? What for?

So you just sit back, a little out of sight. You observe, see those stories unfold right in front of you, ignoring the happy endings and focusing on the torturing ones, reaffirming to yourself again and again that it is better this way, that you are safe and happy, that you are in a better place without all of this…

And perhaps you really are. You really did the best thing. For yourself and for who you are, for the depth of the emotions that you feel and that every single time simply tear you apart. This space, this calmness, this silence… They are lonely, yes, but they are also safe. They are the healing that you needed. The intimacy and understanding that you always craved. Even if you expected to find it in someone else…

It might be a little cruel of a perspective, perhaps a too controlled way of feeling this world… But it is okay this way, if this is something that allows you to really hear it, that your inner voice.

Because we all have that moment in our lives in which we lose sight of it, of our own selves, being too focused on others, their actions, and the version of us that they paint through them. We forget why we really wanted it, why we needed to feel that love so much that we started to look for it in others, asking for a bit of warmth, like it is something that we need to keep on breathing, surviving in this world… And we all need a moment just for us, asked or forced, in which we just rediscover all that we have to offer on our own, what we have within us, how life feels when it is not influenced by anyone, if not by our own heart.

So don't regret it, don't doubt yourself and your own moment of need. Don't second guess it just because of how much time passed since that decision, a time that is now being judged by others that for some reason just can't see you still healing, still protecting, still taking care of what all those love stories abandoned in you, not caring a bit. Don’t consider getting up, getting out there, pushing yourself even, just because someone else decided that this is it, that it has passed enough time and that you are ready to let someone in.

They don't know it, they don't feel what you feel. They don't have this tired and tense body, they don't have this clouded mind. They don't feel those scars tearing every single time you try to open up again your heart. It is more difficult than it seems, and it's okay. They need to accept it. And you don't need to doubt. You have all the time you need to take care of yourself, you don't need to rush.

p.s.

♡ Toss a coin to your reader

♡ Find my readings directly in your inbox

♡ Receive personal guidance from me

– Pile Two,

the snake: the empress and the magician

What is really love..? Is it the care, the worry, the good or the bad? Is it the way we love someone, the way we show it, the way we give it… or is it the way they feel it and receive it? Is our love determined by our perspective or by the one we love? Who is the one to decide if it is the right one, if it is enough?

Something so natural, so instinctive… just became so confusing and complicated. So scary to feel, to find. So scary to show, because of the chance that it is not the one that person wanted. A little too much, or really not enough. A little too emotional or cold. A little too suffocating or rough… There are so many different interpretations of it, so many things that together create the love that one might need… That it is overwhelming really, trying to adapt your own love, constantly, to the idea of love that someone else seeks.

And yet you've done it. And yet you keep on doing it. And, perhaps, will continue even after this. Because it seems worth it. Because it seems right to you, to find a way to love and appreciate every person, because we all deserve to find something that warms our heart.

But… don't let it too much under your skin, this volunteering of being the one to bring the exact right and desired love to every person you meet. Not that there is something wrong with it… It's just that you really are sacrificing yourself for it. Your desires, your goals, your dreams. Your likes and dislikes. Your interests and visions for life. Your free time, your planned and awaited moments… All of them change so easily, when someone calls out.

And it is sweet. It is appreciated. It is recognised, this part of you and how much you give away to others. But… still they don't stop you. They don't tell you to slow down, to take a moment just for yourself, to keep on doing what you've been focusing on while they wait. They simply take it. Who cluelessly, who in need, and who because it is so comfortable to have you. But they still and always do it… And you know it too.

You are slowing down on your own, you are hiding, closing up. Trying to hold onto the little energy and love that you have left for yourself and that is starting to not be enough anymore to keep you up. You are starting to notice, to realise, to analyse and overthink. You are starting to consider that maybe you don't want to do it once again, perhaps with the next person that you will meet.

But… what if you don't limit your heart nor force it? What if you remain you, without anyone else to change you to make you more comfortable for them? What if you do you, with your own way of loving. Not hiding it, not limiting it, nor adapting? What if they will be the ones to choose to take it or to leave you alone, free and unbothered?

p.s.

♡ Toss a coin to your reader

♡ Find my readings directly in your inbox

♡ Receive personal guidance from me

– Pile Three,

the bouquet: the queen of cups and the star

It is refreshing, isn't it? That genuine love that you looked for so long. The way it feels so gentle on your soul. The way it puts you at ease, as your body shivers with relief because of a touch that is not meant to harm you, but only to calm you as you breathe… It is refreshing. It is healing. So beautiful that it ironically gives you something to be afraid of, something that might not be this, something that could deceive you as you blindly believe in it.

Your own love, the one of a friend, of a rediscovered lover… It did change everything, through the simple discovery that it is possible. To be cherished, to be appreciated, to be taken care of. But you can't help to not think about it, as you desire it more and more, as you feel ready and courageous to find and receive more of it… Will it really be this safe, this sweet, as the one of which you briefly had a taste of, or is it only a trap in disguise that you are creating on your own now?

It makes you ponder things, paying more attention, even finding some signs and warnings that are not here. Just to protect yourself, to be sure that you can be vulnerable with others, without knowing if they will do the same in return for you…But there is nothing to consider here, nothing to check or proof before doing it. There is nothing that you can anticipate, apart from the fact that it will be a love story.

A story with its ups and downs, no matter the situation or the person. A story with its most precious and heartwarming moments. A story that is destined to end, in one way or another, just to make it more worth it, that every single feeling that it will provoke in you.

And even if it is normal to want to be sure of it, even if it is okay to don't feel that confident… There is nothing you can do about it, in the most beautiful sense, so let go of it. Of that conviction that if you check every single thing beforehand, than you can be safer and escape a danger, protecting yourself from it.

It seems cruel, when it's put that way… But if you think about it, those things that we are afraid of, that we try to protect us from, are exactly what make a journey and story a love's one.

So, when it will happen again, when you will start to feel that warmth and comfort… Don't convince yourself to be afraid of it, don't stop yourself from making other steps until you imagined and prepared for every single outcome… Just go for it. Just live it and experience. It is okay, no matter how it will be. It is exactly what will make you fall in love with… love. Unconditionally and fiercely.

p.s.

♡ Toss a coin to your reader

♡ Find my readings directly in your inbox

♡ Receive personal guidance from me

_

[thatfrailsoul]

[thatfrailsoul]

Fish Pond 🐟 - ig | bsky | x | coms | kofi | prints

[thatfrailsoul]

Personal readings are open again!♡

– Receive guidance from me

Please read everything thoroughly ♡

pictures from pinterest → one, two, three

There are moments in which... Everything is just a little too much. Too much chaos or too much stagnation. Too many ideas or doubts. Too much pressure. There are moments in which it is so frustrating and scary to wait or try to decide, risking so much of what we managed to achieve so far. There are moments in which we just crave something clear, something direct and simple to help us find that peace. There are moments in which we hope for an answer, a message that is only for us, that can help and guide us through everything that is overwhelming us. So we pray, we hold onto that sign, that dream, that feeling, looking for someone that could explain to us their meaning... And so now, if you ever want or need, I can be the one to help you with it. With connecting with yourself, your heart and your mind. With asking those questions that you don't know how to say out loud. With finding their answers, and understanding them without any if or but. With finding your own safe and right path.

– So... how it works?

– In each reading, personal or here on my blog, my focus will be always first and foremost you, your safety and wellbeing. Mental, emotional and physical. No matter the topic or the situation that we are talking about, I will look at it always from your perspective. What you need to know or understand. What is the best for you and what you should do to stay safe and on the right for you path. And this means that in my readings I will always prioritise you over others in your life or that are of your interest. Willingly not diving into their life, intentions, feelings or reasons - more than necessary for your guidance and what you need and can know - and intentionally not nourishing your focus on anyone but your own self and your journey and growth.

– For every guidance you must choose only one situation/ topic that you would like the reading to be about. Prioritizing what is challenging you the most now and what you feel like you need the most help with. In case you have more than one situation that you would like to look at, you will need to request and pay for a separate reading for each one of them. In addition, you may not ask questions about death, pregnancy, legal, medical or health related situations, or about celebrities and fictional characters. As I'm here only to help you with understanding your own self and your world more, so you can make your own decisions and steps in life.

– In case you already did a reading with me, and you would like to receive once again guidance for the same situation or topic - unless there were some significative changes in the situation itself or how you feel about it - I will use my right to decline your request. Simply because by providing you guidance I'm meant to help you to move forward and make progress, learn and grow. Which is the complete opposite of making you pay again and again - nourishing your focus on the wrong things - for the answers that you already have and need only to truly hear and understand.

– This service is for entertainment purposes only, and it's not a substitute for medical, psychological or legal consultation. In the same way, you hold the responsibility for your own actions and decisions in your life, good or bad, and me, or the reading and this service, are not responsible for it in any way or form.

– Rather than dividing the readings based on the topics or having a set price, I prefer to decide it with you, based on your necessities and financial situation and possibilities. This way you can always be comfortable with the price you are paying, while also receiving the needed for you guidance.

– A refund is not possible, even if you change your mind before the date of our reading. A reading is something really serious and important, so I want you to be really mindful of your choice and take your time to be sure of your decision before paying, to avoid having regrets or spending your money uselessly.

– If you are interested in receiving personal guidance from me, or if you have some more questions about my service, you can message me here through my blog. And I will answer you as soon as I can, usually within 24 hours. This way we can talk it out, so you can be more sure about your decision and aware of all the details about how it works. Talking with you first will also help me understand your situation better so I can eventually give you a more suitable reading, or let you know if, for any reason, I can't or don't want to read for you.

– After we talked and when you are sure about your decision, and only after that, you will be able to book a reading with me and pay for it through my kofi page in the "tips" section.

– You will receive your reading within 3 days after we organised and confirmed everything. In case I have a lot of clients you will receive it a little later, but you will never need to wait for more than a week after paying me.

– The reading itself will be sent via email. The videos of the shuffle of the cards are not available, for storage reasons, but you will always receive the photos of all the cards that will deliver your message.

Lastly, please remember that personal guidance or not, you always hold the answers you need within yourself. And, while I do help you in understanding them better, you still can do it on your own. So if you don't feel sure, and especially if you have a challenging financial situation, don't feel pressured in paying me or anyone else for help. But instead take some time for yourself, slow down. And listen closely to your heart, that you can always trust. ♡

_

[thatfrailsoul]

Hello, I hope you are doing well!

If you are still open to suggestions for your Divination Jukebox, I would like to recommend a song called ‘All Your Days’ by Shallou and Emmit Fenn. When I listen to this song, it reminds me of the simple joy of being able to share your day with the person you love, all of those days adding up to the privilege of sharing your life with someone, and they with you. It evokes this feeling of being so content and fulfilled and sure, all through a specific person’s companionship. In particular, the height of the song makes me envision a montage of small, simple moments shared by two people throughout the course of their life shared together. And although I have yet to experience this myself, this song makes me hopeful that, maybe, someday I will.

On another note, the music video tells a different story to the song when listened to on its own. They both narrate beautiful stories, and different elements will resonate with different people, so I would recommend taking the time to experience both (but only if you would like to!) Even if you don’t use it for the Jukebox, I hope you enjoy the song, regardless. It is one of my favourites to listen to, when I need a little bit of hope and joy, and I hope that it brings you something similar ☺️

All Your Days: https://youtu.be/QqY4hkr2z3A?si=WMeMA93s-4nu0r4x

In the end I did both, I watched the video and I listened to the lyrics without anything else, just my imagination and feelings... It is such a bitter sweet song and message, full of nostalgia, or even fear and surrender, that I think so many of us can recognise and relate to. So I hope that I'll be able to make a worthy reading for it.

Thank you so much for this suggestion, and for sharing your own interpretation, I'll keep it close to my heart as I read the cards... And even though it did take me too long to arrive to your suggestion, I'll start working on it these days, so I hope that you'll like it and that, someday, I'll receive your suggestions once again. ♡

_

[thatfrailsoul]

— Summertime sadness

a summer pick a pile tarot reading

(pictures from pinterest → one, two, three)

Sometimes… Our hearts start to race too fast, the chest feels just too tight. The thoughts become louder and more confused, each one of them trying to convince us that they’re the ones telling the truth. And all we want to feel… Is just peace and reassurance. Two arms that hold us tightly, a voice that whispers to us words of sweet comfort… Giving us all the needed answers.

And yet, it happens so rarely. We face it all alone. And this summer… Once again we will need to be our own guardian, as we step up to protect us from others, or from our own mind…

A season has passed since the beginning of this year… So seemingly little yet enough time to start to have doubts about all our plans, the chosen paths, that we still weren't able to make work, no matter how hard we tried.

The bitter realisation hits, and so does the quiet surrender and tired fear of what will happen next… In the second season of this year, the one that we imagined completely differently from what it looks like now, when we can see it on the horizon.

So how on earth will we be able to survive it, when we are already so tired and broken, feeling so cold and alone… While the nature around us blooms, being taken care of by this world, almost mocking us for all the failures and stagnation surrounding us..?

Slow down. Allow this sadness and tiredness to overwhelm you. Stop holding it in… And feel it truly, listen to it, as your heart will call you to that one pile that speaks to it, holding the message that you need to hear.

-Pile One,

the four of wands, the three of cups, the ace of swords.

Your steps are so fast, so chaotic now. They are rushing you, pushing and pulling you, from one opportunity, one solution, to another, before you realise where you are looking or where you are going, before you can stop them and force them to slow down… But did you really lost control over them, or did you let go, letting the frustration and fear caused by this stagnation overwhelm you, while silently hoping that one of many things you are resorting to would work?

This journey, this situation, is barely on its beginning. And yet so many months have already passed in front of you before you even could manage to make your second decisions. Before you could make any progress, achieve any result, find any confirmation that this one is really worth the wait and hopes…

And now it is already summer. A season that should've seen you coming glowing with victory and enthusiasm for what's ahead… Not with shoulders bent under the weight of failed plans and expectations, and the jealousy for the satisfied and proud voices of others for their journeys, that you can already hear…

It really shouldn't be such a big deal, you know it. And yet this change of seasons feels so definitive. Your ability to live well the next months so dependent on the success of the last ones… You just imagined it differently, the plan in your head was much more specific and neat. Perfect to the tiniest bit. And now you will need to keep on going, to work, to worry, to rush. Because if you stop for just a moment, trying to live up to that idea of summer that you've had in your mind, everything will just collapse, being so fragile and little to be able to sustain a few carefree months…

But, fortunately, things don't work this way, the events of our lives are rarely so specific in their failure or success. There are so many things that are halfway done and already good to be enjoyed. While others, although being kind of confusing and shallow, still are not enough to disturb or destroy what we've created so far.

You think that you didn't accomplish anything, that there was no progress, no victories on your end. That every single person around you did something, and so they fully deserve this period of calm and joy under the sun… But you too deserve it. You have a project, you have something that you are working on, regardless of how much progress you made so far. It is enough. It is enough to feel proud. It is enough to feel that reassurance of a work that is being done.

So don't start to condemn yourself already now, to that full of work, worries and pressure, summer. Don't mourn already the fun plans and relaxing days that you won’t have this time. And don't feel the frustration or shame, because of how little you did compared to others. Because it is not true. It is not real. That failure that you are convincing yourself that you are.

It's just a different type of journey, of a process. It just has a different pace than someone else's, or that you expected when you started it. But it doesn't in any way condemn it to be a loss, something to be ashamed for. Nor does it mean that it will never give you anything, unless you run from one place to another in search of a different way to save it and make it work.

It is fine. You. And this journey. Even if there is still so much to do, even if you weren't ready to be at this point in your life by summer.

A change of season is not a deadline, it's only a different phase that is meant to help you, being dedicated to something specific. In this case, it is to remind you to slow down and breathe, to relax for a moment. To step aside and wait for a while, allowing this journey to complete its process. To allow all the seeds that you planted with your dedication and effort… to finally grow, instead of being suffocated by your worry.

You can step aside. You can wait a little before doing another step or making a decision. You can slow down in some moments and then speed up again as you work on it. Nothing will go worse or collapse if you stay one day outdoors, with your loved ones. Nothing will burn to the ground if you eat an ice cream in a park, or swim for a few hours, resting. Actually, these little moments will only help you, more than any search for another way would ever do to you. Just because you too need some time and rest, some distraction and experiences that aren't only about this situation or project.

You will have your summer. You will have your fun and you rest. If you’ll allow yourself to. Exactly because of all the hard work you already did, and that is more than enough right now and in this moment, even if you convinced yourself of the opposite.

Everything is going well, everything is alright. And you can have your vacation and carefree summer. Just trust yourself, your decisions and steps so far. Trust the time that they are taking to evolve into something better and bigger. And make use of this slower pace that this situation is forcing you to have. Don't see it as stagnation, failure, or menace. See it as it is, just a moment to rest and recharge, before coming back stronger, with a clear mind, and even more ready to take charge.

p.s.

♡ Toss a coin to your reader

♡ Find my readings directly in your inbox

♡ Receive personal guidance from me

-Pile Two,

the nine of cups, the eight of wands, the seven of cups

It is so different from last year, isn't it? And it is so strange. How you can be the same exact person, and yet you feel much stronger. How there are so many same situations that haven't been resolved, that are still trapped in this overwhelming stagnation… And yet you are kind of okay with it. You are over it, you somehow accepted and surrendered. Enough to not allow these situations and problems, these in a sense failures, to stop you from trying something new in the meantime, as you wait for them to evolve. It's almost like there is a new realization in you, the one about the time and the life that keeps flowing regardless, the one about you that have the permission to flow with them too, even if there are some things to which you feel still tied.

It is good, it is refreshing, to feel this way. For the first time in so many years you don't really have any fear of the new season. You don't see the deadlines, you don't hear them mocking you or rushing you. You see only something different and something new. Something that you genuinely want to try and explore, not allowing yourself or others to limit you anymore…

Or at least this is how you feel about it in one moment, in the grand scheme of things when you are looking at this new season getting closer from the horizon. But when it is indeed here… When you actually need or can get up and choose, start something, focus on it, looking away from all your not finished projects, fears, doubts or concerns… It kind of vanishes, that enthusiasm, optimism and readiness. And your body becomes stiff, the mind empty, or perhaps filled with that old and well known judgemental voice.

And it is just a shame. To realize that you are so strong and confident until the moment comes. Even if it is only about one season or one project. Even if it is only about an idea or a routine. It is a shame that all this energy seems to be just smoke that goes away as soon as that famous door of opportunity opens…

But can you really blame yourself, for slowing down unconsciously your pace in some moments? You’ve got through a lot. You managed a lot. No matter if it was hardly won battles or the process of accepting their losses. You managed to grow while staying true to yourself no matter what you were overcoming, no matter what lessons you were learning… It is new to be here and feel so different for once about this season, about this phase of the year in which you usually just observed others and their adventures, their fun stories… Trying to imagine how could it feel to be so relaxed and free, from the responsibilities or burdens, enough to have something new to look forward…

You need to still get used to it, you need to feel it truly. That freedom and possibility of choice that you have now, that you earned. So don't be so fast to feel regretful or frustrated because of this one step that your body seems to be unable to do now. Give it time. It will be fine either way, even if you don't choose a new path to go onto right now. One season, in the grand scheme of things, seems very little, its true. But still it is more time that you ever had just for yourself, or on which you actually had the control over. So you can go a little slower. You can dedicate first some time to just adjusting and wondering, exploring different ideas or desires of yours. You can just follow the flow, not resisting the events nor forcing them. You can be here for one more moment, in this sort of a middle ground between one journey and another, allowing yourself to be cuddled by your little victories and opportunities ahead that won’t run away no matter how much time you will rest and do just a sweet nothing.

p.s.

♡ Toss a coin to your reader

♡ Find my readings directly in your inbox

♡ Receive personal guidance from me

-Pile three,

the ten of cups, the king of cups, the two of swords.

Things didn’t exactly go like you expected… Your life doesn't really seems enough ready for this hypothetical new and exciting start… And the voices around you, their words, their judgment hidden in their ‘’advices’’ are not making it any easier to accept this failure… Or to find any strength and courage to continue to hope for it, even if the things are becoming so tough around here.

But, among all those mean, or, for some reason offended by your choices, voices… There are a few that are a little sweeter, a little more understanding, more patient in this waiting of seeing your growth and victory in all these battles. There are those that are more silent, perhaps, but still so close and caring. Still fresh and delightful, when they give you relief as they heal your scratches, convincing you that it is still possible to make it through, that everything is still okay no matter how it seems now…

They might be a friend, a family, a partner… They might be your own voice, a little phrase found in a book or film, a message hidden somewhere on the internet… But no matter what form they have or where they came from, they are still worth it, to be heard, to be believed as they whisper to you words of comfort and faith in your steps on this journey.

It is not how it was supposed to be. It is taking longer than expected, with so many moments in which you are simply unable to do anything or control it. It is so uncertain and confusing, still keeping it a secret about if it was worth it. And it does lead the way to all the doubts and questions, letting them right into your mind, allowing them to take control of your body that becomes so anxious and frenetic, as it looks for any other way or something else that could save it and make it work in time for deadlines and needs that are coming too close now…

But there is no use in this chaos in which you are trying to find some answers or comfort in. It is only tiring, draining, and annihilating. To your health and the one of your dreams and passions that you are trying to manifest by forcing them. It is frustrating, it is scary, it is simply unfair. I know it. But consuming yourself about it will not make it any better, it won’t resolve it.

As all those messages, sweet words, signs from this world or others, might sound cliche and kind of boring… They are true. You are doing your best, you are doing well. Not for this situation, this grand plan and its manifestation or for the comparison with any other person and their progress… You are doing enough for yourself, for what you can control and what you can do with what you have, with how you can make use of it. And even if it is so little now, compared to what it could've been, it is still worth it, to remain and to have faith, to celebrate even this little progress. Instead of declaring your loss, your inability, your lack of fortune or skill, your deservedness…

It won't be such an easygoing summer, just because you will not be able to escape your own heavy thoughts and the spirals in which they drown you… But it can still be a good summer nonetheless. It can be still a good season, with beautiful memories, peaceful moments, exciting news and discoveries, and long awaited progress… You just need to have a little more understanding. For your self and this journey. The way you go thought it, with all its ups and downs, and the way it evolves when you can't control it. It is important for you, so believe in it and respect it. Respect the way the things are unfolding enough to wait a little more. And respect all the hard work you did so far for it, enough to not judge yourself and your progress.

It will eventually work out, as it always does. And in the meantime the only real thing you need to do is to go easier on yourself, and trust those kind voices that keep believing in you and in your goals even when you have a hard time trusting them. Because they know something, they see something more than you do, and it is your strength, resilience, and deservedness, that will never pass unnoticed.

p.s.

♡ Toss a coin to your reader

♡ Find my readings directly in your inbox

♡ Receive personal guidance from me

_

[thatfrailsoul]

– Good luck and fate

Divinatory Jukebox: Chance in Coin || Chants of Curse, by Pengosolvent.

tarot pick a pile reading → one, two, three

There are things… that seem to choose us. The ones that seem to be the answer to all our questions, the solution to all our needs, the medium for all our dreams… There are things that captivate us, hypnotize, by whispering to us the promises that we so sincerely need to hear in that moment of our lives. So we follow them. Climbing over every obstacle, ignoring every bleeding wound, never turning around to listen to the voices that are trying to stop us, afraid that it might be a test, a cruel game in which we’ll lose everything we achieved so far… Everything that is contained in that one final prize that is looking back at us from the horizon. So shiny, so perfect, so desirable. Like the moon itself that is gazing upon us, guiding us… And yet, we lose ourselves in the dark, one step away, a wrong turn taken in a rush… The same promise is still visible, still present, but with so many new insurmountable obstacles between us, ready to tear apart our tired body, heart and mind. Leaving us without nothing, if not emptied inside out.

Was it really a good decision, a worthy plan, but just poorly executed? Was it really our fault, of our incompetence or lack of faith and patience? Or was it someone else's responsibility, perhaps a malevolent strategy to make us fall and forget about salvation or healing? Was it maybe… Just a coincidence? Or destiny? And does it even matter now, when we are on our knees, consumed and heavily breathing, lost between the opportunities and chances that never chose us back to begin with? Should we stop, start from scratch… or should we live with it? Should we see something, understand, about this journey that betrayed us so fiercely?

Slow down. Breathe. Stop holding in your emotions for a moment and let them flow. Let them guide you to the pile that has something to tell you now.

— Pile One,

the house: the hanged man and the ten of cups

It’s unexpected how it has grown on you. This journey, this idea and hope that became only stronger, even disperate, as your every try was abruptly refused and stopped.

This place and situation is so suffocating, pressuring, too tight to let you breathe, feeling safe with what you've managed to harvest so far… And yet not even one of your steps leads to the opposite direction, to another option, away from this nightmare. Not even one of your mind’s frenetic thoughts is about leaving... Because there aren’t any better ways to live here, there aren’t any options left that you didn't try already, failing.

It’s not really a matter of should you stay or leave, for you now. It’s just the matter of how to keep on holding on with the little strength and patience that you still have within you. What else could you do to make things work here and now, on this journey that you already dedicated so much of yourself to. As you will try your best to hide and ignore the delusion that is starting to overwhelm you. For this idea, your fate, yourself and your decisions…

You are chaining yourself to it, forcing yourself to look only in that direction, focus only on that one thing, not daring to say out loud that it all revealed to be just a failure… And you are deliberately convincing your own heart - that is screaming for you to find an exit - that all you found out here, all that you learned… Will ever serve only this place and way, only these people…

But you know well that this is not the truth. You know well that this journey, even with its harsh reality or perhaps because of it, teached you how to use the little that you have, to survive and make little steps forward despite everything that you went through. Because, even if it might indeed be wrong, but you did stay. You managed to resist and hold on for so long, and not just because of pure coincidence, luck or such strong manipulation of those that are holding you by the neck. No. You did it all yourself. Your conviction and determination did it. Even if it was a mistake, even if it was for the wrong reasons, but it did work, you did push yourself through all of this just because of your resilience and strength and anger that nurtured all of it.

So you can do the same, but for the right things now. You can leave. You can stop. You can take with you only what you experienced and learned, leaving without ever achieving what you initially had in mind. And you can make it work even with these crumbles. You can create with them something else. And you can find another place or journey or people that could fill in those little empty spaces. You can. Just because you did all of this up until now. And that same strength or stubbornness, fear or hopelessness that made you hold up so tightly… They can be the ones to push you forward somewhere new, somewhere different. They can be used to help you do something good for yourself, after all this time, instead of torturing you from inside out.

Simply because they are yours. Not of that place, those people or that journey. They are not the ones that gave you all this strength and faith. You always had them. And they won't disappear the moment you’ll take a step away from them.

There is no mistake, nor guilt, nor shame, in accepting that this one is not working. There won't be any failure, any destruction in your life just because you realize and accept it. There will be only an epiphany. A much needed ending to this suffering. And a new beginning, so many other journeys, that you can now recognise and choose thanks to the simple switch of your perception. And the power that you will finally start to feel once you realise that you are doing something only because you want to.

p.s.

♡ Toss a coin to your reader

♡ Receive personal guidance from me

— Pile Two,

the stars: the emperor and the death

There is something about it… Something so simple and yet complicated. Something that you know already, deep down within you, and yet you don't dare to say it. Something that others are trying to tell you… And yet their chosen words are so out of place that they can’t reach you. There is something hidden and yet so clear and obvious to all of those involved... And it’s your power of choice that you have upon it.

It feels strange, it feels odd and even ridiculous to hear it. How in the world could you be the one deciding this when every your step and breath are controlled and forced into someone else’s will? I wouldn’t dare to be another one that tells you to just go away and leave it, condemning yourself to a situation much worse than the one you are enduring here, right? Because if it is so, you already have enough of it. You feel literally crushed under all these opinions on how to manage your life and the things you are living. Advices that you never wanted, that never really give you the answer that you want to hear now.

That you are doing pretty well, that you are making progress. That you are doing everything in your power and thus things will work out in the end, despite all the problems. That you waited and endured a lot, and you need to just have a little more patience. To see the day in which it will all be recognised and cherished. Each tear, each heavy breath, each ache in your tired body. Each anxious thought and your heart’s screams that you ignored somehow... You just want to hear that it will be worth it. Because the idea that all this suffering was for nothing is much more painful, painful to even think it.

And yet there is a kind of truth to it. It is for nothing, if you destroy yourself for it.

This journey, this idea or plan, was something that was supposed to help you live a whole new life. New experiences, new perspectives, new rhythms, new achievements. New things to be excited and proud about. But also new things to enjoy and live. Something that you are not able to do now, because you simply are too tired to even think about it.

You are consuming yourself. Using every inch of you just to go through it, in hopes to see, perhaps one day, finally the end of it. Because it is already too late, you are too much into it, you have already done so many things for it that you can't possibly drop and leave it…

Or perhaps you can. Realising that nothing of this makes sense if there won’t be a happy and healthy you to witness it. Not a reward, a recognition, an achievement. Not any ‘’victory’’ against those that enjoy torturing you while you are barely breathing. It makes no sense already. Not because others don’t see it or don't believe in you and your achievements. But because of you who don't believes it either, but between nothing and something, chooses the one that appears to be more worthy of keeping.

But is nothing really so disgraceful? Or does that mean that you have simply the hands free to hold between them anything else, with all the time and chances to turn them one way and the other, look at them closely, possibly finding something you would have never seen in them just through a fast and tired glimpse from the place you chained yourself with?

p.s.

♡ Toss a coin to your reader

♡ Receive personal guidance from me

— Pile Three,

the bouquet: the star and the eight of coins.

Your sleepless nights and tired mornings are filled with so many thoughts, so many doubts now… About if you did the right thing, if you really did everything you needed to make this work, if you are not making a mistake by having so much faith in it…

And as each day passes, and the answer to those questions does not arrive, each of those thoughts become much heavier and draining, not living space for any other emotion than just fear and regret in your heart.

But that moment, that first step that you chose to do, was such a gift for you and your journey, for your growth. A gift that wasn't yet delivered to you.

It is indeed frustrating to keep on going without having any confirmation, any sign or certainty that this is really it, that it won't be a dead end or a trap like it already happened so many times. But… What you are doing is worth it. It is worth it regardless of the success or failure, regardless of the outcome that you will hold in your hands at the end of this path. And this is what this world, with such a particular and cryptic, sometimes even confusing way, is trying to make you understand.

It is important the reason and the goal for which you are doing all of this. It is the motivation, your inspiration and strength to move on. But at the same time it is not the only thing. Or, to be exact, the goal itself is not the only thing that made you chose this specific way and path. You chose it also because of the how. How learning and experimenting in this environment will be. How this new journey will feel with these specific people, in this specific place. How their ways will influence and help you to find your own right way… So why, now, you are focusing and waiting only for that outcome? Why are you rushing so far into the future with your anxious mind, not spending even a second in this present moment, truly feeling and experiencing the journey that you on your own chose for so many reasons that spoke to your heart?

There is nothing that you are missing or not understanding, there is nothing that you are doing wrong and that is causing this outcome to not be reached yet, to not be found… A part of, perhaps and simply, not living truly in this moment.

Because it is all already here. That goal, those experiences, those feelings. They are not yet complete, it’s true, they are hidden in the little interactions and experiences of this new routine that you are still adjusting to. But they are already here, scattered all around you, and you are walking on them without really realising it, not feeling them, their weight and presence. With a head too far away to feel what your body is experiencing.

But that joy, enthusiasm, progress, victories and success are all already here and you are living them. Even if it will take some time to fuse them all and to create that dream that you once saw and chose.

Don't worry and don't rush. Or, at least, don't put on your own self the pressure and the responsibility of not seeing any concrete results yet. Don't blame so fastly your own self and your decisions, because you don't have any of them. You are doing well. You made the right choice. It just needs some more time and experience to see it all grow and bloom into something more. So for now, have patience, have more faith in your own self, in your decisions and your capabilities to make things work once you focus on them. And take your time truly doing it, immersing yourself in this new life that is manifesting in front of your eyes. Pay attention to every moment, every detail, every step that you take, realising how much actually is it, how much you are already accomplishing. And don't hide too much in your future or in your head. There is a whole life that you are living right here and now, and it needs you, your attention, care and appreciation. Because you did a lot to be here now, and it is not fair to your own self to don't enjoy it or trust it, choosing to listen only to those fears that overwhelm your mind.

p.s.

♡ Toss a coin to your reader

♡ Receive personal guidance from me

_

[thatfrailsoul]

– Receive guidance from me

Please read everything thoroughly before contacting me ♡

There are moments in which... Everything is just a little too much. Too much chaos or too much stagnation. Too many ideas or doubts. Too much pressure. There are moments in which it is so frustrating and scary to wait or try to decide, risking so much of what we managed to achieve so far. There are moments in which we just crave something clear, something direct and simple to help us find that peace. There are moments in which we hope for an answer, a message that is only for us, that can help and guide us through everything that is overwhelming us. So we pray, we hold onto that sign, that dream, that feeling, looking for someone that could explain to us their meaning... And so now, if you ever want or need, I can be the one to help you with it. With connecting with yourself, your heart and your mind. With asking those questions that you don't know how to say out loud. With finding their answers, and understanding them without any if or but. With finding your own safe and right path.

– So... What you can choose from?

types of readings available now ♡

A message…

That you need to receive. The one that is trying so hard to reach your heart. The one that you are waiting for, or maybe, the one you don't expect at all… A message, an advice, about a situation that is holding you so tightly, taking your breath away as it veils your mind with so many doubts and fears, so many thoughts that you don't know if you can trust.  A message that will simply guide you through it, showing you the right path. Or, perhaps, confirming you that you are already here, exactly where you need to be right now. A place and moment in which there is nothing else to do but to be proud of yourself, your courage, and the choices you made so far. 

(10 euros + 2 for transaction fees)

An answer…

To that one question that is so heavy on your mind. To the one that never left you alone, no matter how much time had passed, how many steps away you did, how many other things you've tried… A question that you can’t satisfy on your own, in the depths of your own overthinking mind. And an answer that you just need to find, once and for all, to be able to continue on your path without looking back, without second-guessing your own choice, without regretting the things you've done. An advice, yes, but also… Just the truth, without any if or but, without any room left to fantasize about what all of this could've meant. 

(20 euros + 2 for transaction fees)

A guidance…

That is more than just a glimpse into this situation, into this journey, into this moment… More than just a quick whisper about it, that is so easily lost in the chaos of your mind now. A guidance that doesn't stop until there is nothing left to the chance, nothing that could nurture that uneasy feeling in your chest. Every question of yours, every answer, everything that you can and need to know now, everything that you deserve to understand. All here in front of you, unapologetic and true. All yours to look into, to take in… To transform in what you want it to be, manifesting your dreams from within.

(40 euros + 2 for transaction fees)

– And then... how it works?

all the details that you need to know about the process ♡

In each reading, personal or here on my blog, my focus will be always first and foremost you, your safety and wellbeing. Mental, emotional and physical. No matter the topic or the situation that we are talking about, I will look at it always from your perspective. What you need to know or understand. What is the best for you and what you should do to stay safe and on the right for you path. And this means that in my readings I will always prioritise you over others in your life or that are of your interest. Willingly not diving into their life, intentions, feelings or reasons - more than necessary for your guidance and what you need and can know - and intentionally not nourishing your focus on anyone but your own self and your journey and growth.

You may not ask questions about death, pregnancy, legal, medical or health related situations, or about celebrities and fictional characters. As I'm here only to help you with understanding your own self and your world more, so you can make your own decisions and steps in life.

In case you already did a reading with me, and you would like to receive once again guidance for the same situation or topic - unless there were some significative changes in the situation itself or how you feel about it - I will use my right to decline your request. Simply because by providing you guidance I'm meant to help you to move forward and make progress, learn and grow. Which is the complete opposite of making you pay again and again - nourishing your focus on the wrong things - for the answers that you already have and need only to truly hear and understand.

This service is for entertainment purposes only, and it's not a substitute for medical, psychological or legal consultation. In the same way, you hold the responsibility for your own actions and decisions in your life, good or bad, and me, or the reading and this service, are not responsible for it in any way or form.

A refund is not possible, even if you change your mind before the date of our reading. A reading is something really serious and important, so I want you to be really mindful of your choice and take your time to be sure of your decision before paying, to avoid having regrets or spending your money uselessly.

If you are interested in receiving personal guidance from me, or if you have some more questions about my service, you can message me here through my blog. And I will answer you as soon as I can, usually within 24 hours. This way we can talk it out, so you can be more sure about your decision and aware of all the details about how it works. Talking with you first will also help me understand your situation better so I can eventually give you a more suitable reading, or let you know if, for any reason, I can't or don't want to read for you.

After we talked and when you are sure about your decision, and only after that, you will be able to book a reading with me and pay for it through my kofi page in the "tips" section.

You will receive your reading within 3 days after we organised and confirmed everything. In case I have a lot of clients you will receive it a little later, but you will never need to wait for more than a week after paying me.

The reading itself will be sent via email. The videos of the shuffle of the cards are not available, for storage reasons, but you will always receive the photos of all the cards that will deliver your message.

Lastly, please remember that personal guidance or not, you always hold the answers you need within yourself. And, while I do help you in understanding them better, you still can do it on your own. So if you don't feel sure, and especially if you have a challenging financial situation, don't feel pressured in paying me or anyone else for help. But instead take some time for yourself, slow down. And listen closely to your heart, that you can always trust. ♡

_