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somebody: If you had a superpower, what would it be?

most people: *some comic book shit*

me:

[1-lemons-2-blog]

Snowbaz + Queer Eye AU

I was bored and I had a few ideas, so here they are in headcanon form because I’m that lazy. If you haven’t watched Queer Eye yet, I highly recommend it. It’s my first work for this fandom, so I hope you like them!

- This all happens after Carry On, a bit after the epilogue.

- Simon lives with Penny and Baz (even though he won’t admit it because once a month he sleeps in Fiona’s apartment) and he’s trying his best to get better.

- His therapist helps him so much, but he’s a Mess™ because he lived in foster homes until Watford and he never learned anything about life.

- So they obviously watch Queer Eye and they love the show, and Baz thinks they could help Simon, so he calls them and they obviously go to London because Baz is that charismatic and they’re such a cute couple (And because if don’t my headcanon doesn’t work)

- Penny knows they’re going to come too but they don’t tell Simon anything so it’s a surprise.

- The guys arrive and they start fangirling because they ship Snowbaz so much and they think they’re the cutest couple in the world.

- Bonus points when they heard the enemies to friends to lovers part, I imagine them all screaming

- Of course they don’t tell them the whole truth because they’re Normals and all that

- Also they keep saying that if they were younger and Baz and Simon were single they’d have huge crushes on them.

- When they find Baz’s wand he has to made up that they role play in the bedroom and Simon blushes really hard (Penny is in the background laughing)

- They all love Penny too, but Jonathan the most because he’s in love with her hair.

- “You dye it every month, how on Earth do you manage to keep it so healthy?”

- He also fangirls with Baz’s hair because, honestly, best hair ever, and he has it long like him

- So, each one’s part

- Tan’s the one with the hardest part, because Simon didn’t have his own clothes until Watford, and it was the uniform, so his style is a mess

- When he tells Tan that, it brokes his little heart.

- They go shopping, but they don’t let Baz go with them because it’s going to be a surpirse

- I imagine he goes to the basics so Simon doesn’t have to think that much, so lots of jeans, basic but cool t-shirts and a few shirts that fit him perfectly

- Also, a suit for special occasions, because he always has to borrow one from Baz.

- Tan teaches him everything, from what to wear in each ocassion to how to combine colors, and is so understanding.

- Also, he gives him lots of confidence

- Jonathan reprimands him because he could have amazing curls but doesn’t moisturize them enough, and he has lots of products in his own bathroom from Baz, but you know, not in a very harsh way because it’s Jonathan and he’s a cinnamon roll.

- So he doesn’t change his hairstyle that much but gives him a treatment that leaves his hair so soft Baz can’t keep touching it.

- Also, tells him to use sunscreen because he has to be careful with all his moles

- The final day he puts him a little eyeliner to emphasize his eyes and Baz drools.

- Bobby loves their little flat so much, but it’s a bit old fashioned and doesn’t have that much personality, so he makes it really cozy.

- He builts a really big bookcase for Baz and Penny’s books because they were everywhere, and they love it.

- He also gives them a brand new kitchen because theirs was so old and half of the things didn’t work (also, it’s necessary for Karamo’s idea)

- Finally, he makes some diy pots with Simon and puts little plants on his window. At first he wasn’t very sure he could keep them alive, but Bobby encouraged him and now Simon waters them and takes care of them and it helps him a lot.

- Karamo wants to find new hobbies for Simon and help him find out what to do for a living.

- He starts talking to him and realizes that Simon’s true love (apart from Baz) are scones and all kind of sweets, so he teams up with Antoni to teach him how to bake.

- Simon loves it so much, and Antoni teaches him a recipe of sour cherry scones that are even better than the ones in Watford (He almost cries while eating them) and a few other recipes.

- He teaches him how to keep a healthy diet too.

- Karamo helps him find out how to start a new business, and makes him a website where he can sell his sweets, and it gives him a purpose to get out of bed every morning.

- (He ends up opening a bakery, but years later)

- The final day, Baz who always knows what to say, doesn’t know how to thank them enough and he cries a little.

- Then they all start crying, even Penny, and they say goodbye.

- Just before they go, Karamo gives them a piece of paper with an address and tells them to go there at 8 and to be elegant.

- So, days later in the Queer Eye apartment they watch the little video they always watch.

- At the beginning it shows Simon dressing up and doing his hair and a little bit of makeup.

- Tan and Jonathan are so proud of him.

- Baz can’t stop checking him out because of course he knew Simon was gorgeous, but now he looks like a model. He thinks they won’t notice, but they obviously do and they laugh so much when they watch him eye Simon.

- Then they go to the address which is a little restaurant, fancy enough for Baz but not that much for Simon

- They have an amazing time and the video ends with Baz saying to Simon that he looks amazing, but he can’t wait to remove all the nice clothing he’s wearing.

- The Queer Eye guys keep fangirling because that relationship is so goals and they wish them the best.

Oh god, this took me more of what I expected. What do you think? Tell me if I made any typo or a spelling mistake, English isn’t my first language. Also, feel free to add anything or tell me if you think something should be different!

[1-lemons-2-blog]

Terfs: wombyn are their ovaries!!! Ovaries make a wombybybynnn. Accept that u are a womynbdgnn you have ovaries !!!!

Me, a trans man on the danger list for ovarian cancer and is going to get them removed in the distant or near future:

not for long

[1-lemons-2-blog]

whenever anyone mentions that they were talking abt me I get this weird but kind of comforting feeling that I exist to a person outside of our own relationship,, like?? u talked abt me??? u thought of me when I wasn’t there????? i exist to u when I’m not around????!!!!!!?

[1-lemons-2-blog]

REBLOG IF YOU THINK MY SO-CALLED “BEST FRIEND” IS FUCKING WRONG

I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE HIM, I COME OUT TO HIM AS GENDER-FLUID AND THAT I MIGHT BE THAT, AND HE SENDS ME THIS

FUCK YOU, BITCH. FUCK YOU.

GOD I FEEL LIKE FUCKING SOBBING, BECAUSE IT HIT ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS OF HOW ASSHOLISH THIS IS

REBLOG IF YOU THINK THAT BEING GENDER-FLUID IS A THING. NO LIKES. I DON’T WANT THIS POST LOST IN THE ENDLESS SEA OF TUMBLR.

[1-lemons-2-blog]

“Smiles are probably the most underrated facial expressions, much more complicated than most people realize. There are dozens of smiles, each differing in appearance and in the message expressed.”

—

Paul Ekman

(via perrfectly)

[1-lemons-2-blog]

When you know you have to sleep but you keep thinking of your otp.

[1-lemons-2-blog]

This is what I’m here for. Not only do we need men supporting women who come out about sexual abuse but we really need men supporting other men when they come forward about these stories. Like not only am I happy that Brendan came forward but I’m so proud of Terry for voicing his support of Brendan. This is huge.

[1-lemons-2-blog]

Having rewatched 3A really makes me crave sex-positive asexual Jace.

When I first wrote Raph/Jace, there was a bit of doubt from some readers because Jace is so sex-crazy.

But 3A actually… showed us the exact opposite of that. He not just doesn’t want to have sex with Clary, he also doesn’t want to make out with her and even when kissing, he keeps his hands at really appropriate places.

I firmly believe that sex is to Jace just… exercise. Much like sparring or training. Just a means to exhaust both body and mind. Additionally, something he is good at - he prides himself on it in the show. It’s more about being good at something than really wanting to have sex.

And the show showed us he doesn’t really care much for who he sleeps with. So, I really do think that he’s not actually experiencing sexual attraction.

He seeks a way to distract himself when life throws him yet another curve-ball. And sex is what he has learned as a teen to be a socially acceptable way of distracting himself as a young man. So he does it.

We only ever see him having sex-scenes or hook-ups when he is in an emotionally bad state. When something happened that really threw him (discovering that Clary was his sister; being thrown out of the Institute; after Imogen made him compromise his moral-compass by chipping Downworlders). When he needs a distraction.

Not because he wants to have sex, but because he needs the distration.

The only person he is actually interested in, in canon? Clary, whom he looks at in awe and fondness. Not horniness. A distinction that is very easily made considering how Clary always strips him naked with her eyes. It’s such a stark contrast when you watch their interactions.

And after they got together in 3A, it’s Jace who always puts a stop to all physical activities. She sneaks into his bedroom? He makes her stop when her groping goes too far and just asks her that he may hold her. When she complains that they haven’t had sex after dating for two whooping whole days already? He tells her all the cute romantic ridiculous things he likes about her. None of them relate to sex.

I really genuinely believe that with Jace, you can very easily make the case that he is asexual, just sex-positive because he sees it as a distraction/means of exercise. Because the one time he actually has an emotional connection with someone, sex is the last thing on his mind. Because he actually realized that it doesn’t mean that much to him. That it’s not necessarily a part of what he needs in a relationship.

And because some people seem fucking incapable of simple reading comprehensions lately: This is a headcanon. I do not claim that canon!Jace is definitely asexual. I’m just saying that canon lays good and interesting groundworks to ace!Jace that make it by far not unreasonable.

[1-lemons-2-blog]

Remember how your parents used to worry you would be stalked on the internet by middle aged men?

Oh, how the tables have turned.

[1-lemons-2-blog]

[1-lemons-2-blog]

ty: julian, there's a chance kit might ask you about my sexuality.

julian: would you like me to tell him to leave it alone?

ty: NO! tell him i'm gay. and single. only if he asks though.

[1-lemons-2-blog]

Reading fanfiction like

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