12thgrave

[12thgrave]

it feels like there’s something inside me rotting, something clawing at my ribs, screaming to be let out. i want to tear myself open just to see if there’s anything left. i want to smash my head against the wall until the thoughts go quiet.

[12thgrave]

i think i was destined to be ruined. i think i’ll always be fucked up.

[12thgrave]

who wants to trauma dump on each other at 3am? who wants to feed into each others horrid desires? i have no one. i am so alone.

[12thgrave]

i wake up knowing no one would miss me if i died. to you, it would be a minor inconvenience. to me, a miracle.

[12thgrave]

“your trauma doesn’t define you” no actually it does. it dictates every aspect of my shitty life.

[12thgrave]

and right when you think you’re getting better, it all goes to shit.

[12thgrave]

[12thgrave]

fuck you for making me like this

[12thgrave]

i never want to think of you again.

[12thgrave]

this feels like a nightmare i’ll never wake up from.

[12thgrave]

my life will never be the same and it’s all your fault

[12thgrave]

tfw the abuse is so constant that you start to crave it

[12thgrave]

feelin’ kinda crazy, might drive off the highway tonight lol

[12thgrave]

i am filled with regret which will never go away.

[12thgrave]

i’m so tired of living this shitty little life.

[12thgrave]

even if i could redo my whole life, i’m sure i’d fuck it up again.

[12thgrave]

are there no truly loyal, committed people anymore?

why are so many people obsessed with leading people on but not committing to anyone?

it’s so frustrating and saddening... like i just want something long term. i want something for forever. you don’t see me like i see you at ALL.