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Papa Meat is the Real Deal

Okay, so I just stumbled onto Papa Meat’s YouTube channel recently, and I am OBSESSED. If you haven’t seen it yet, do yourself a favor and check it out because this channel has such a vibe. Like, the first thing you’ll notice is the studio setup—it’s wild in the best way. The decorations? Straight-up metalhead goals. It’s got that gritty, heavy, “I don’t take life too seriously, but also I know my stuff” kind of energy. You can tell these guys live and breathe the culture. It's not some try-hard aesthetic either; it feels authentic, like they just turned their love of heavy music and all things dark and edgy into the perfect YouTube backdrop. Honestly, I’d hang out there.

But it’s not just about the aesthetic (although, let’s be real, it’s worth tuning in for that alone). What really makes Papa Meat stand out is how they tackle serious topics. And I’m not talking about your run-of-the-mill “YouTuber discusses world issues” stuff—it’s deeper. They take these heavy (pun intended) conversations and manage to make them accessible, which, IMO, is a skill not enough people appreciate. Like, who else can crack a joke about existential dread in a way that actually makes you feel better? They don’t downplay anything or make light of serious stuff in a disrespectful way, but they use humor as this perfect little spoonful of sugar to help you process the tougher bits.

Also, let’s talk about the humor—it’s sharp, it’s dark, and it’s right up my alley. You can tell these guys know their audience because it’s all very self-aware without being cringe. Like, yes, they’ll poke fun at things, but you never get the sense that they’re punching down. It’s more like you’re laughing along with a friend who gets it.

Honestly, Papa Meat feels like a mix of hanging out with your favorite chaotic metalhead buddies and getting your mind blown with some deeper insights on stuff you didn’t realize you cared about. They’re not afraid to say things the way they see them, and I think that’s part of why it works so well. It feels real, you know?

Anyway, this is your sign to go binge their videos and bask in the glorious combo of killer vibes, hilarious commentary, and deep conversations. If you’re into metal, dark humor, or just channels that actually have a unique voice, you’ll love it. Plus, the studio setup alone will have you contemplating redecorating your room.

10/10 would recommend.

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arcane dump from this week

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Why Caitlyn Kiramman is My Favorite Character in Arcane

Arcane is a beautifully crafted show, and its strength lies in its complex characters. Among them, Caitlyn Kiramman stands out to me as the most relatable and inspiring. As an autistic lesbian, I see so much of myself in her—not only in how she interacts with the world but also in her compassion and courage. Caitlyn’s journey, her traits, and her relationships make her a standout character and a powerful symbol of representation.

One of the reasons Caitlyn resonates with me is how she exhibits behaviors often associated with autism. Her sharp focus and natural curiosity as an investigator reflect the hyperfixation and attention to detail many autistic people experience. Caitlyn thrives in environments where logic and problem-solving are key, calmly piecing together clues while others might be overwhelmed. This aspect of her personality feels deeply familiar to me.

Caitlyn also struggles with social norms and expectations, particularly those tied to her privileged upbringing. Her straightforward, no-nonsense way of communicating and her tendency to question authority over conforming to it mirror the way many autistic people prioritize authenticity over societal expectations. She doesn’t always fit in, but she doesn’t let that stop her from being true to herself.

What makes Caitlyn even more compelling is her profound compassion. Throughout Arcane, she consistently shows kindness and understanding, especially toward people from marginalized backgrounds, like Vi and the oppressed citizens of Zaun. Her empathy allows her to connect with others on a deep level, even when they come from vastly different worlds. For example, her willingness to listen to Vi’s perspective and fight for justice in Zaun shows her commitment to doing what’s right, even at great personal cost. This compassion resonates with me, as it’s something I strive for in my own life.

Caitlyn’s canon identity as a lesbian is another reason she holds such a special place in my heart. Her evolving relationship with Vi is a cornerstone of the series, filled with tenderness, mutual respect, and undeniable chemistry. As a lesbian, it’s empowering to see such nuanced and meaningful representation in media. Caitlyn’s love for Vi isn’t just implied—it’s woven into the narrative with care and authenticity, making her a rare and treasured example of queer representation in mainstream media.

Caitlyn Kiramman represents a perfect balance of strength and vulnerability. Her intelligence, compassion, and determination to challenge unjust systems are deeply inspiring. For autistic lesbians like me, Caitlyn is more than just a character—she’s a symbol of representation and hope. Through her, Arcane offers a story where difference is celebrated, where compassion and integrity are strengths, and where people like me can see ourselves as heroes.

In Caitlyn, I see someone who values justice, kindness, and love. That’s why she’ll always be my favorite character.

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Dorohedoro: My Comfort Show for Burnout

When I’m burnt out, Dorohedoro is my go-to show. It’s dark, chaotic, and completely off-the-wall, which makes it the perfect escape when everything feels overwhelming. Set in a gritty, dystopian world, it follows Caiman, a guy with a lizard head, on a quest to find out who turned him into a monster. The animation, done by MAPPA, is stunning—action-packed and full of quirky, memorable characters.

What really makes it a comfort show is the balance of dark humor and absurd situations. Despite the violence and madness, the show has this weird way of making you laugh, which helps lift the weight of burnout. The characters are grounded, even in a world full of chaos, and their perseverance feels oddly reassuring.

If you’re feeling mentally drained and need something that matches the madness in your head, Dorohedoro is the perfect weird, wild ride to help you reset. It’s bizarre, funny, and strangely comforting.

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I love The Golden Girls.

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Diary Post #16

I have been working at my new job for about two months now. I think I am still in burnout but it is not as bad now. The job is very physical, so at least I am not mentally exhausted all the time. Three times a week is not bad for my mental health but it is not good for my wallet 😭 I have been feeling sick for a while though; I had to call in sick at work (for a day) twice this month. And since it is part time, if you do not punch in, you just do not get paid. This is why I feel like I am still in burn out, even though I like my job, I like the hours, my immune system feels like shit, I still feel like I cannot do anything besides rot in bed all day.

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give me mean caitlyn. give me angry, bitter, absolutely-sick-of-everyone’s-bullshit caitlyn. give me entirely way too focused and determined caitlyn. give me caitlyn when her compassion and morals begin to wane and she begins to question herself. give me workaholic caitlyn. GIVE ME ANGRY CAITLYN.

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Diary Post #15

It's 18/06/24. I started at my new job last week. For the first time in a while... I actually like my job. Even though it has nothing to do with web development or IT in general. I am a grocery associate, basically, I pack orders and do inventory for an online supermarket. It is a minimum wage but I really like it. I can listen to music while I work, dissociating is great! I can actually use the restroom whenever I need to and I DO NOT HAVE DEAL WITH CUSTOMERS 🎉

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Eren, the milk man delivering milk: *knocks on door*

Historia: *opens door*

Eren: Hi little girl! Aren’t you adorable? Is your mommy home?

Historia: Bitch I am my own mommy the fuck

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Caitlyn: Unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, I cannot just 'walk up and join a circle of people talking', but it does sound lovely, thank you.

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Caitlyn: Unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, I cannot just 'walk up and join a circle of people talking', but it does sound lovely, thank you.

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So I have to quit my current job asap. Spoke to HR, she doesn't want to change next week's schedule.

I've explained that I have health issues and I cannot guarantee that I will be able to work, and I don't want to call sick last minute.

She basically said that I should go to the doctor and "we will see"...

I'M TRYING TO SAVE YOU UNNECESSARY STRESS LADY! JUST LET ME GO!

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being obsessed w a piece of media is so scary. what if my mutuals see how insane i go about it and think oh i gotta check out what this is about and then think it sucks and kill me with rocks. what if they hate my favorite characters

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this movie brought me so much joy, it was so well made. now I need a DND movie with the BG3 cast. I need to see Amelia Tyler saying "AUTHORITY" while stepping on somebody's neck! 🖤

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Diary Post #14

It's 26/04/2024, I had three job interviews. Only one agreed to my part-time hours 🎉 I am weirdly excited, even though the money is not a lot. I will finally be able to be a bit more independent. I know I will not be able to save up as much. But still better than nothing. It is not worth making myself sick to receive more money.

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Diary Post #13

It's 23/04/2024, and I have been unemployed since February. In February I spent a week in the Netherlands. I missed it... I did not have to mask that much.

I missed being able to grab a bus or tram and just go somewhere. I have forgotten how comfortable I am around my real friends.

I did not feel sick and I was able to eat!

I never once felt pressured to mask. I felt a thousand kilos lighter...

Being back in my home country feels like I am drowning. I am back to only having cigarettes and energy drinks for "food".

I am trying to find a part-time job, but nothing so far... I cannot do that to myself again... I can't work 40 hours per week, I do not put my mind and body through that hell again...