911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Eddie: Hi, who's this? Buck changed all of my contacts to mythical creatures.

Chim: What's mine?

Eddie: Sand Dwarf.

Chim: THAT BUMBLING GOLIATH, I'M NOT THAT SHORT!

Eddie: Oh, hey Chim.

Chim: YOU COULD AT LEAST PRETEND TO GET IT WRONG, EDDIE!

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Buck: Did you have fun babysitting the girls?

Eddie: We dressed up as princesses, and had a royal tea party.

Buck: That's so cute, please tell me there are pictures.

Eddie: Don't worry, there are. Jee and Mara both agreed that I was the prettiest princess in all the land.

Buck: They are both so young but so smart already.

Eddie: They also agreed that their uncle Buck is a strong knight who makes the best pancakes in all the realms.

Buck: I'll wear that title with honor.

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Chim: Ravi, where were you this morning? We had a team meeting.

Ravi: I'm trying this new diet that prevented from being here.

Buck: Oh, you had the runs? You should've said so.

Hen: Are you feeling better, getting enough water?

Eddie: That's why I always stick to the foods I've tried before or whatever Buck cooks.

Ravi: No, I'm trying being a social vegan right now. So I avoid meets.

Chim: See, if that had made me laugh, I would look past it. Latrine duty for a week.

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Buck: Are you wearing Hen's shirt?

Eddie: No, this one is mine. Unisex!

Buck: Maybe you need sex, but I don't.

Eddie: No, Buck, I meant U-N-I sex.

Buck: Well, I ain't gonna say no to that.

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Eddie: Are those silver m&m's?

Buck: I didn't know they made that color.

Chim: Oh, they don't, I just spray-painted them for something I'm gonna build.

Hen: Ok, so those are poisonous so no one eat them.

Ravi, with silver on his lips: Yeah, duh.

Hen: Go throw up.

Ravi: I didn't eat any-

All of the 118: Go throw up!

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Bobby: Why haven't you been going to your sessions with Frank?

Eddie: Buck is helping me with therapy at home.

Bobby: Eddie, you know it's not the same.

Eddie: I don't know Bobby, when he puts that collar on me, and calls me his good boy, all of my problems basically disappear.

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Hen: Tell me again what did we practice you'd say to Eddie.

Buck: Would you go out with me tomorrow?

Hen: And what did you end up saying to him?

Buck: I accidentally told him to suck my dick.

Hen: How do you accidentally tell someone to suck your dick?

Buck: I panicked, ok? And in my defense, Eddie looked down.

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Eddie: Buck, what are you doing?

Buck: Hey babe, I'm making chocolate pudding.

Eddie: It's four in the morning, why are you making chocolate pudding?

Buck: Because I've lost control of my life.

Eddie: Oh, do you need to talk?

Buck: Babe, I'm kidding. I got up and didn't want to make too much noise using the gym, so I came to the kitchen, Ravi was here complaining about how long it's been since he had chocolate pudding and that gave me the idea. Here's your pudding, Ravi.

Ravi: Oh, that's okay, I'm not hungry anymore.

Buck: You're not getting up until you finish that!

Ravi: Yes sir, sorry sir, thank you for the pudding sir!

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Buck: Do you wanna know your gay name?

Eddie: My gay name?

Buck: Yeah, It's your first name-

Eddie: Hilarious Buck, grow up.

*Buck gets on one knee and brings out a ring*

Buck: And both of our last names because we're hyphenating.

Eddie: Oh my god, hyphenating just makes so much sense!

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Eddie: You got me so stuffed, I don't think I'll be able to move for a while.

Buck: Happy to fill you up any time you want, babe.

Hen: Seriously, in front of my pasta?

Chim: Can you two not be gross for one shift?

Eddie: Why is being pregnant with Buck's pasta gross again?

Ravi: Please stop with the euphemisms, we get it, you're trying for a baby, and are raw dogging it daily, we don't need to hear about it.

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

@summerofbuddie - week 3: celebration season Buddie + looking at each & being together other during celebrations

+ Bonus Buck looking at Chris during Eddie's Shield Ceremony

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Buck: This is bad, this is really bad!

Chim: Dude, you're scaring me, what is it?

Buck: I kissed Eddie!

Chim: Woah, I owe Hen so much money.

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Buck: Do you play any sports?

Eddie: Does running away from my feelings and sexuality count?

Buck: I don't think so.

Eddie: Then no. I do play basketball twice a month though.

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Eddie: Do you think I'm gay?

Hen: Why are you asking?

Eddie: I got added into a group chat with Ana, Marisol and Kim, got called gay, and then they kicked me out.

Chim: So they only added you to insult you?

Eddie: Well, they actually said that I might be gay and gave a lot of reasons why, told me that I was already dating my best friend and that I have issues with intimacy but basically.

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Buck: I challenge you to an arm wrestling competition. Eddie: Oh, you’re on. Buck: Ok, ready, set, go! Eddie: Buck, we’re just holding hands. Buck: Yeah. Eddie: So, who wins? Buck: Whoever doesn't let go first.

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Buck: So, what's your favorite color?

Eddie: I'm not really into small talk.

Buck: Oh, ok um, deep down inside do you think you're a good person that deserves good things to happen to you?

Eddie: ...

Eddie: Blue.

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Bobby: You're in big trouble, Buck. Anything you say now will be held against you.

Buck: Eddie.

Bobby: What?

Buck: Eddie’s thighs.

Bobby: Not this again.

Buck: Eddie’s hol-

Bobby: Alright, I’m going to let this go, but please stop.