a-greater-p3rhaps - Tumblr blog

[a-greater-p3rhaps]

[a-greater-p3rhaps]

Self hate

There are finger prints on my stomach. Left there by me tugging and pulling at my fat in the mirror.

I wish so much that it wasn't there, or even that i didn't care or it didn't bother me. 

Unfortunately it does bother me and i wish so much that i didn't hate every inch of my body

all I see is fat, all i see is stretch marks

all i see is that i will never succeed or be good enough.

The body i want is unattainable

I will never be happy

[a-greater-p3rhaps]

Well, he's gone

My boyfriend came to visit for the day. It was filled with laughs and love and made me so happy. But now it’s over. For 2 weeks and 6 days I’m alone again. I know I’m being dramatic and people have it worse. None of this comforts me. I love seeing him, but I hate goodbyes.

[a-greater-p3rhaps]

Conventional beauty damages me daily. To my core I feel insignificant. I doll and dress myself up but still I find myself tugging at my fat, pulling at my chin(s), and dreaming of the day I won't want to vomit every meal.

[a-greater-p3rhaps]

My mind hugely consists of thoughts. They swirl and wind and swallow me up. I seem so small, insignificant, behind all these thoughts. Maybe releasing them will release me? I need more importance