aboyinterrupted - Tumblr blog

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I need to crawl out of my skin.

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Maybe I'm just tired.

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I hope this side-blog saves me

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Dear Diary,

My brain feels funny again. I don't believe funny is the right word because there's nothing even slightly comical about it. Maybe strange is the right word. I think strange is the right word. It displays the unexplainable nature of this feeling while still making it apparent that this feeling is abnormal. Is this feeling abnormal? Maybe I'm the abnormal one and everyone feels like this but I'm just being dramatic. Either way it still feels strange to me so that's the word I'll be using to describe it. Foggy, that's another word I'd use to describe it. My mind feels strange and foggy and drained and uncomfortable. This feeling always overcomes me very suddenly and sometimes I'm almost startled by it. I don't know why, one minute I'm happy or "neutral" and then the next everything feels terrible. I'm so angry and sad all the time and mother thinks I'm faking it. Everyone thinks I'm faking it; they say I'm trying too hard to be different and I wish that were true but unfortunately it isn't. I want to be free. I want to kill myself.

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Dear Diary,

I'm drained. I feel like I've lost my sanity somewhere in the wild ocean of humanity and I'm hoping that somehow it will find its way back to me. Have I ever actually been sane though? Was I ever happy? Or have I convinced myself that I wasn't always lost so that I could hold on to the tainted memory of someone I never knew, of someone I never was? I think there's something seriously wrong with me. It's become apparent to me over my life that my mind doesn't work the same as everyone else's and I wish I could find someone who understood me. I did meet this boy but that's a difficult matter, one that I don't feel so inclined to go into detail. But to put it simply, I think I might love him but it could never happen, it's literally not possible. Sometimes, I wish I was a girl. I get jealous of girls because they have everything I want. They get to be pretty and feminine and cool. I wish I could be a mother, I'm not the best with kids but I think I'd make a wonderful mom if given the chance. I wanna play with dolls and do my makeup. I wanna wear dresses and get periods. I wanna be me but I also like being a boy and I could never be trans so I just have to deal with it. I also wish I wasn't ugly, my face is so strange looking and my body is long and awkward. No one finds me attractive. I think I'll never find love and I don't even have the capacity to love myself. So who do I have if I have no one, not even me? I suppose I've already answered my question: no one. So maybe I should try to have my own back. I'm kind of tired and I feel drained so I'll try to sleep now. I'll talk you tomorrow!

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I feel so light and weak and I love it. I love it so much.

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Can anyone give me tips on how to eat less?

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Jeffrey Dahmer’s apartment. (Top complex)

After he was caught on July 22nd 1991 the police discovered body parts, bones, and corpses of 11 people in his apartment. They also found all kinds of knives and sawblades, a hypodermic needle, an electric drill, a 57 gallon blue plastic drum with three decomposing torsos inside and photographs of his mutelited victims.

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"Open me up, tell me you like it. Fuck me to death; Love me until I love myself." -Lana Del Rey

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one fast won’t make you skįnnÿ but will make you feel good about yourself.

one binge won’t make you fat but will make you feel like you’re a useless disgusting pig.

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Why are there no black faunlets? I feel like I'm the only one.

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𝓝𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰.

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Haven is an place on earth with you.

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THINSPO!

Some of my fav

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B0y's Th1nsp0's