admirerofmanythings

[admirerofmanythings]

the pain of being a lover

it is such a wonderful thing to be a person capable of so much love, but there is a loneliness that accompanies it. a loneliness that digs a hole in your heart. because when you love so deeply, you also hurt so deeply. a double edged sword. you cannot be capable of such extraordinary love for people and things without the existential heartache of the pain that life brings. when you’re happy, you wonder how anyone could ever be sad. but when that sadness sets in, it feels as if it’s the only thing you’ve ever known. and there’s no way to combat it, except to feel it with every fiber of your soul.

[admirerofmanythings]

do you think of me while you’re betraying me?

or am i just an afterthought from your guilt?

[admirerofmanythings]

you cannot call yourself a lover if you do not even love yourself.

[admirerofmanythings]

i look in the mirror

should i smile?

or should i cry?

[admirerofmanythings]

i hear my friends’ laughs echo from down the hall; they are happy

i am grateful to experience them being happy even if i do not experience it myself

[admirerofmanythings]

i like the way lights look through teary eyes, so bright and twinkly

maybe there is beauty in being sad

[admirerofmanythings]

do you think the birds that are part of the same flock ever worry they don’t reach each others expectations?

or do you think they love each other regardless?

[admirerofmanythings]

let everything out, experience everything you can, feel every emotion you can, your heart is a vessel;

what good is a ship if it never leaves the harbor?

[admirerofmanythings]

the grief is always there,

what else will remind you what the love felt like?

[admirerofmanythings]

let your tears fall

let your grief fall with them

[admirerofmanythings]

with my tender heart, i love with everything i have

[admirerofmanythings]

i am full of love because i am the product of thousands of who have loved each other in order for me to exist.

[admirerofmanythings]

like the roots of trees, our souls intertwine so that we may grow closer and grow together

[admirerofmanythings]

memory lane is a dimly lit bus stop, i sit waiting and waiting; the bus never arrives.

[admirerofmanythings]

though i’ve been weaving the pieces of my heart back together, i still know a certain tug at my heartstrings would make me unravel completely.

[admirerofmanythings]

there is still a part of you with me, not in my heart, but somewhere near. tucked in between my ribs perhaps, still with me, but somewhere you cannot hurt me anymore.

[admirerofmanythings]