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[adriana-luisa-27]

I never thought I was a victim until...

I have always believed in justice, in fighting the fight for good against evil. I always believed I would be able to live my life like that. Believing that good will win in the end.

Then there is something that happens that makes you realise you are not strong, justice is not all it seems.... that evil sometimes wins.

I have never classed myself a victim of violence, or assault or whatever you want to call it. I was not hurt by family or even friends. I was hurt by a stranger. Someone I had just meet. Someone who thought it was ok in a public place to use violence to punch me in the temple and knock me out. And for what? Because I defended myself against his behaviour towards me.

This happened 6 and a half years ago. I remember most it. I also have tried to forget a lot of it. However just recently I have had to confront the whole attack again.

The reason being is that he crossed my path again. And he bragged about that night he punched a girl. My whole body froze. He didnt realise it was me but i knew it was him.I got out of there right away with mind you, all his details. Name and number I now have it.

The truth is though, that its the aftermath that leaves the most damaging effect. Not the fact I was seriously hurt physically, but the emotional and mental truma it has caused me.

Forget about the fact that at the time of the incident I was more than confident going to places on my own, that now seems like another me. I dont go out to certain places alone anymore. My sense of independence is not what it was.

But its the mental fight you have with yourself.... did i deserve it? was it my fault? I should've? Why didnt i? That anguish you go through day after day, slowly breaking you down.

Back to justice.... I always said if I ever found him I would call the police straight away. I mean the day after the incident I reported it and the venue supplied the cctv evidence to them too (though I don't know how much of it it actually shows). However, even in this day and age I dont know if I can go back to the police to get my justice.

After all, how many times do we see woman standing up to their abusers, their rapists, their preditors and justice does not happen. They aren't believed. They are told they dont behave the way someone in their situation should. Seriously it makes me ill thinking about it.

Now I know, I am a victim. And not just of that night. Im a victim for all that have been in the same or similar situation. Im a victim for other woman who have suffered, scared and alone in the world never trusting due to what a man has done to them. I am all those things.

I am so frightened to fight this too. I have lost the ability to be able to seek justice. I dont have the strength to take this further. I want to fight, however my mind is too fragile.

I have those close supporting me and bless them for it. Im sure its hard for them to understand why I just cant fight it. Maybe some of them do understand as they too have been through similar. Maybe some dont.

Maybe one day I will change my mind and fight the fight, however for now the best I can do is finally admit I was a victim of an assault.

#metoo

[adriana-luisa-27]

Macbeth! ... "time is free"

As per my previous post I made the 24 hour flight from Australia to England to see Christopher Eccleston performing as Macbeth.

And let me tell you I was not left disappointed. He portrayed a marvelous version of the character, which was completely gripping.

RSC latest take on the bard's play was intriguing to say the least. The main focus was on the time elements of the play. This is something I have not seen done before to this extent.

You were left counting down the seconds to the final act hoping that you could stop time moving forward towards the end of the play.

The cast around him were all part of the pieces to make this interpretation inspiring.

A special thank you to Mr Eccleston for taking time to chat with me, making my journey to the UK to see him perform all the more memorable.

[adriana-luisa-27]

Crazy reasons to travel...

You know when you are young and you dream of just being able to take off and explore the world and all its glory at any time you desired? I have to say that I am fortunate enough to be one of those individuals who has tried to make that a mission in life!

I must admitted with the job I do I unfortunately don’t get the liberty to depart as much as one would wish too, however it does allow me the chance to afford trips I have yearned for. 

And every once in a while something spontaneous happens! And that is what has lead me to this whirlwind two week journey to the UK. 

One could call me a nerd, or maybe even geeky, however I prefer to call myself passionate.  Okay, okay, I am a nerd too! The beauty of being such a human leads me to pursue my passions, my interests, my dreams and believe in my fellow humans when they are living theirs, even if they are someone I have never meet!

The truth is, this whole trip started when I heard Christopher Eccleston (The 9th Doctor in Doctor Who) was to finally play Macbeth with the Royal Shakespeare Company. For most Whoivans or Shakespearean's this is exciting news. For me however, it was mind blowing. For I knew this with his desired Shakespearean character to portray, and furthermore it was to be his first performance with the Royal Shakespeare Company. 

This talented English actor was getting to live his fantasy! How could one not be part of it. To celebrate, congratulate and to experience the passion of being able to realise your dreams is something I truly admire. 

So off I go to see this magic happen, and in reality live some of mine by getting to explore the UK again. 

[adriana-luisa-27]

An Influential Woman

Today means a lot to people for different reasons. Today, for me changed 3 years ago. It was the day I lost my last living grandparent, my most beloved Nonna. It was the day I had to say goodbye to someone I loved unconditionally, respected highly, admired with great integrity, and learnt from my entire life.

She was an exceptionally strong, independent women who lost her husband at a young age. An Italian immigrant to Australia, she raised 5 children. Proud of being the Grandmother and Great Grandmother to everyone in her family. Family was her life.

To me, well, she taught me some of the most incredible lessons in life. Today I am a strong, independent woman because of her. I have not settled because she believed I deserved the best and made sure to tell me so. I have lived my dreams because she said I could.

Her support, encouragement and belief in my life was paramount in me being the woman I am. I will forever be a proud grandchild to this wonderful woman.

Even though she has past, I am never without her. I still talk to her, continue to ask her for advice and still follow her by example. My beautiful Nonna, always in my heart. A woman time will not forget!

25th April 2018