adventureswithsica

[adventureswithsica]

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INANIMATE OBJECT?

Probably my little stuffed batman

[adventureswithsica]

Missing

These thoughts sting my eyes, and I heave a sigh.

I can't help but cry.

And I haven't thought of you, in a long time.

And I remember why.

Your eyes don't look like mine anymore.

Of that, I'm sure.

And you slipped away from me.

I didn't see.

Now I feel empty.

Where'd you go?

Why are you gone?

What did I do wrong?

Have I done wrong?

And I won't think of you,

For a long time.

It helps to move on, to forget that you're gone.

[adventureswithsica]

Careful

It's hard to make out what's outside.

Can you see it?

My eyes are searching but are failing miserably.

I won't leave the safety of my fortress,

till I know what hunts me.

Make yourself known,

And I'll walk outside.

Tell me what you want and I'll listen.

I'm not afraid

But I'm no fool.

I refuse to stumble around in the dark.

[adventureswithsica]

Wherever

When I go anywhere I go for me. These moments for myself I love and Won't give up easily. I feel that wherever I roam I will gain some new feeling. That a revelation will hit me hard And press Till I'm kneeling. Me, myself, and I Love to learn new things. We discuss, argue, share, and vent Whatever a new experience brings. I can't begin to tell you What the places we've been have taught. But real world experience is the Learning fever that we have caught. Let me go out for just A little bit longer. Let my eyes exercise it's sight So I can get them stronger. Myself and I are waiting Very patiently for me. We're off on another adventure To see what we can see.

[adventureswithsica]

Calm down

All of this stress isn't real. Your fear is in your mind. Anxiety loves sprinkling bread crumbs Around For you to find. Can't you tell the difference yet, Between a trick and an attack? I know the line is blury, And both are meant to stab you in the back. But just take a deep breath. Look around there's nothing there! Your mind is being used against you. Anxiety once again, Is not playing fair. Just have peace. Ask for it. He's waiting for you to call out. And when you finally breath again. You'll know what I'm talking about...

[adventureswithsica]

Anxiety

Wound up too tight. My teeth can't take it. The knots in my stomach Knock me down And I can't breath. How long have I been Laying here? Why don't I pick myself up? What am I waiting for? I am shaking so intently. My concentration is soley On my bones. I can't take one step further. I won't let me. How am I doing this? Have I ever been this strong before? Do I really hold myself captive? What is this? Why is this here? Please go away and never come back! I don't need you! You are no good for me! ^^^ Help me please! I'm calling out. I didn't forget You were there. I just didn't speak up. I need You. I need You. I am not strong enough On my own. I am crumbling into The smallest of peices. I am Dust, Dirt. A speck. Only You can truly see me. Only You can truly see each Part that makes me up. See the parts that make me Crack. And only You have the power, To put me back. Please put me back. Please put me back. What good am I Like this? Who can I be like this? What can I be like this? Is there a lesson to This torcher? This pain? I know You don't play games. So what is this? Why is this? I am so confused! I want to scream! But I won't let me. I want to cry. But I won't let me. I am my own prisoner. I want to break free. But I won't let me Go.

[adventureswithsica]

Completely Whole (Revised)

Let your mind unwind. I've got plenty of time. Rest your head. Just lay back. It's all over for you now. You could complain. You've been through So much pain. But you rise from the ashes, And go to continue your journey. You've felt toil and shame When you've walked through the rain. Yet now You're happy and content. Tell me, How can this be? It's like you're finished. You're done. You feel the light of the sun. It's just like you're, Complete and whole. There's nothing that you lack With just the clothes On your back. And you're happy in your state. Wish I could relate. What completes your mind? What completes your soul? Do I still have time? What is it I need to know? Because it just seems like you're Completely whole.

[adventureswithsica]

A. O. F.

Everything you thought would happen Has come true. Yet I still can't seem to look at life The same way that you do. I can't hold onto the bad. That darkness that creeps in To bring you tears. No longer can I carry weights And cling to them for many years. I've done that too many times already. That was played and was never fun. What's the point of playing something So rigged, That no one has ever won? You can't do this anymore either. You'll breath so much better Once it's gone. A new day full of possibilities Always come with the breaking dawn. Just walk with me When the sun comes up. And stare at the new shining light. Even when you want to turn Your head away From this beauty. So joyous and bright. ... Remember. I said to let it all go. This light, Lights the way for you upon the street. You will see the blocks before you stumble. And walk with confidence without defeat. ... If you need a moment, I'll let you be. But I will never be too far away. I'm a patient person. I can wait for you. Every single day.

[adventureswithsica]

Too Tired

Is feeling equal A hard thing to do? Did I get too tired, And drop it somewhere? My eyes feel heavy, And they make my feet drag. Yet my head floats weightlessly While my hollow legs wobble. This warm feeling inside Isn't fuzzy or nice. I am burning from within. This chill isn't from excitement Or fear. I am freezing from the inside out. I may be overreacting. Being dramatic isn't Hard to do. But it all feels too real When you're running on fumes, And all your strength is gone. From trying to keep your balance.

[adventureswithsica]

My Psalm

What is happening to me? Why is there fog in my vision? My brow is stuck facing down And my jaw is so tight. If I loosen it, I fear that I will scream and curse Those that I feel Have condemned me here. I know I can't blame others For my actions or thoughts. They come from my own decisions. Or do they? Are these thoughts my own? Now I ask You. Are these mine? How is it that I really don't know What to do? How is it That I can't see anything bright? What is next? What is around the corner? I can't fathom what the answers Could possibly be. But I know that they are there. And I know You know them. You said You wanted my questions And honesty. Well here they are! Here it is! Here I am! WHERE ARE YOU? You don't owe me anything. That's fine. I know that to be true and Can accept it. But what is the point of asking Questions, You already know I would ask, If You won't answer them? Yet. Sorry. Yet. Whenever that will be. I just don't know what else to say. Sometimes I don't know What the point is to talk to You. You know what I would say. And You've revealed that You will keep me here till Whenever. So should I just sit here, And wait in misery? Should I just wait? What else can I do? I can't go anywhere. I can't turn away from You! I feel You have me surrounded! Which both fascinates and frustrates me. You're in my heart. In my lungs. The very air that I take in. You're the pulses that shock In my brain. Yet I know You put the fog In my eyes. This world is dark enough. I'm already stumbling around. So why do You also send fog? Why? Again! Here are my pointless questions! I KNOW why! But I don't understand. At least I think I know why. But I don't understand.

[adventureswithsica]

A Loss and Words

Where are the ones That should be searching for me? Have I been lost for far too long? Did they give up suddenly? I've been waiting here in the dark, So silent and still. But I can't help but wonder If this darkness forces It's own will. I can feel it's eyes Trying to stare into mine. It's trying to dig too deep, But I don't know what it's trying To find. Should I finally run? Leave and try to find some light. Or stay and wait patiently, And just prepare to hold on tight? I crave to find them. Find them before they find me here. Before they see how the dark Has made me thrive Against those who come too near. And yet... I also wish to never see them. I know they never wanted this. But I've lost parts of myself That I really loved. Parts I know I'm sure to miss.

[adventureswithsica]

The Sound of Strength

This brief moment is precious. This small chance to breath. My moment of peace, Before breathing turns to seethe. I am calling out! I am declaring! I am knocking on the door, That leads to the spirit I love and adore. "I can do this. I can do this!" I tell myself before I go. Before I walk into a darkness That I am forced to get to know. I am through weeping! I have let this consume me For far too long! I can do this! I am fierce! I am loved! I am protected! I AM STRONG! Weakness cannot chain me down. For it is not my master. I rest in the hands that build me up, And protect me from disaster.

[adventureswithsica]

Without a Virtue

How long do we wait? I wait for an answer. Any answer, To relieve this weighted heart. But it's as if I am Ignored. Though I know it's coming. "I just need to wait a bit Longer." Yet that knowledge; That comfort Isn't warm enough. It doesn't draw me close. It's a polite pat On my shoulder. Not familiar at all. But is it my fault, That it feels so alien? Do I choose not to understand, And distance myself? I've waited with bitterness And we've held each other close. I know it's no good. But patience always seems Too busy. I cry out for it. But I am always unanswered. I cannot, And will not Wait peacefully. Not until it finally finds Me again.

[adventureswithsica]

Love or Judgement

How could I forget so easily? Do they not mean As much to me As I thought? I guess not. Or, Does it happen to be, That it comes so easily To assume the worst? Why always the worst? I always get to a point Where I feel so strong. That, Everything is where It should belong. And I not only breath air, But insight. But then my blindness Is hidden from me. And seeing runs from Where it ought to be. For pride came From little growth. I forgot that faults Become forgotten When a step is taken forward. Which make warnings In teachings Never heard. But those faults Where still there. Waiting to be remembered... ...And when I judged you I saw them. And felt broken And dismembered.

[adventureswithsica]

Think (Worry)

My mind is constantly wondering (racing) It seems To never want to rest. I think (worry) And I think (worry) And I think (worry) A situation stirs then plays (dwells) In my mind. And I find That this mind can't let it go. I'm just pondering (concerned) Meditating (nervous) Envisioning (plagued) On what my life Intends to show me. Please hear me when I say My peaceful, Sweet, And loving Lord. I THINK (WORRY) TOO MUCH. I keep comprehending (fearing) A future that I read In my head. These thoughts (worries) Drive me to a place That I can't be. A space, Thant I don't want to see. Calm me down Lord. Please, Set me free. I don't want to think (worry) About this anymore. Let my mind find Quietness (gentleness) Sanity (peacefulness) And love (You, oh Lord)

[adventureswithsica]

What I Need

When? Lord, when will this end? This frustration is just Too much to bear. My grinding teeth Tire my mouth till I Can't speak, And I am left alone with My quiet screams. I need help! I need You to come To me swiftly! But I don't know how to ask. This ache burdens me greatly. Yet my fingers won't let It go. I feel my muscles strained. Yet my back tries To ignore the pain. Please! Open my mouth So that I may shout! So I may call Upon Your name! Calm these frustrations. Let these teeth be still. Give these lungs a chance To speak out And talk to You. Help me shoulder this weight That drags me down. Hold my hand, And walk me away... From my weak and brittle self.

[adventureswithsica]

The Vessel

This rustic thing holds memories And more. With the space inside To take what's instore. It was crafted to be caught By the eye of love. So it can fill the voids For the hearts up above. But not all see the time And the thought that was poured, And may not imagine How much it's adored. Can you see the screws And crafted glass? It came together purposefully To fill a particular mass. Does it matter if it's charm May take a minute to find? I love this vessel dearly Because it is special and mine. I see this and smile At the lines of it's shape. Because I know it will share any newly given weight. It was prepared to hold that Which will refresh and refill. And help others that seek Out peace And to be still.