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Wow, it’s a scene! I’ve done one more screenshot redraw so here are both! (Also someone asked if I could just post the redraw part of the first one I did with Ken.) 

Ko-fi ~ Instagram ~ Redbubble ~ Steam

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That post about death note being "everyone's first anime" (untrue statement) made me curious and now I want to gather data for science

Can you reblog this and tell me where are you from and what was your starter anime?

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Writing/Life Talk

Chatting about writing and meds.

I saw my therapist today and told her that I haven't written much this year. I used to write daily, and it was never something I had to, like... Push myself into doing. I used to be confused, even, when people would say things like... I don't know, "writing is hard," or, "It's hard to get myself to do it." I had to do it, and it happened on its own, almost like breathing.

Ever since getting on my anxiety meds, it's a fight to even open a word processor.

My therapist explained that anxiety meds are "downers," in a fashion. An anxious brain is constantly firing, and when there is nothing for it to obsess over, it literally creates something to worry about. One of the only things that quieted my brain was writing; I literally had to do it to regulate.

My medicated brain no longer behaves like I'm in danger 24/7. I feel relaxed. When something troubling comes up, I recite the serenity prayer, identify what I CAN do and do it, and let go of what I can't fix. When I feel a big emotion, I walk myself through it. Umm... I feel like I'm failing to convey how different a place my brain is now. The other day, I tripped on my own feet while walking. In the past, I would have scolded myself: Pick up your feet, dumbass! Now, I am kind to myself. Careful, darling. Slow down, take your time.

Everything is better. I cannot convey the betterness and its scope to you. I'm so absurdly grateful.

But. But. I'm trying to figure out what to do with this new me, who suddenly is so much more patient, kind, and emotionally available. Who isn't living on her last nerve and eating up her energy trying (and sometimes failing) to manage an anxiety disorder. It's true that my physical health has been really difficult this year, and that has been difficult, but mental health wise, I'm... Well, it's such a huge change, but it's looking so promising right now.

But- again with the but, lol!- Yeah, my needs are different. I don't need to write, which is freaky, because I always have, literally my whole life. Before I knew how to write, I begged my mom for a journal, which I filled with drawings depicting what I wanted to say (which are totally incomprehensible to me now). Lately, rather than writing, I've been playing video games, playing kalimba (poorly), taking walks, pressing wildflowers, and journaling. I've also been a bit more social IRL, trying to ease into that more. And now that I'm feeling alright physically, I am restarting my old exercise routine. Oh, I've been reading, too.

My brain IS calm, as calm as any American brain can be in 2025, anyway. And I don't want to give the impression that people are more creative off their meds. It's just that now, writing is an activity I choose to do, rather than a daily necessity that is almost like a... Like an involuntary nervous system activity.

I feel really weird about that. Like- does that mean I'm not interested in writing the second I no longer need it to keep my anxiety in check? But agonizing over it like that doesn't help. I'm really just adjusting to my new needs. It's okay to explore different things, sometimes. But my therapist suggested that I schedule some writing time so I don't lose the skill and momentum, should I need it in the future.

So... I guess... Now I have to schedule the thing that used to be like breathing. It's a weird thought/feeling, but I guess that's where I am now.

To be honest, I also have complicated feelings about writing because of the state of fanfiction and fandom right now. I've spoken about this a million times, so I'll keep it brief: just last week alone, AO3 was scraped again to feed AI, and someone reposted a ton of unlocked works. My works are locked, so they should be fine, but... The risk/reward ratio to sharing work online is skewed waaay towards risk. I know that's also impacting my relationship with my fanworks. I've wondered if I should try an original piece, but I do want to finish my open projects. I'm fond of them.

Anyway, that's where I am now! I hope you are all managing to take care as best you can. Thanks so much for checking in with me, love you!

[ahiddenpath]

Tentomon🐞

This original marker drawing is available for purchase for just $130, DM me if you want it shipped to you (USA only)

[ahiddenpath]

day 810 - demimeramon wigglypaint doodle before work, because i know i'm going to fall straight asleep when i get home today. hell, i'll be lucky if i don't fall asleep before my students arrive lol.

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[Twitter] | [BlueSky] | [Discord Server] | [Other Sites I'm On + Comm info]

Weregarurumon

Open for comms like these if anyone's interested!

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frosted acrylic charms

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Jyoumi Weekend: First Date: First Day Of My Life

Here's my oneshot for @jyoumiweekend for the "First Date" prompt! I decided to do a fun little twist on the idea of a first date, with an older Mimi and Joe pretending to be on their first date for fun and to see reactions. I had to write this real quick to make sure I could get it out in time, but I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless because I had a lot of fun with it!

Dedicating this one to @reliablejoukido for running this event with me because I had such a blast with it! Thank you for all the work you helped do for this event because I wouldn't have been able to even attempt this without you!

I'll have the whole thing posted in a read more below, but you can also find it on AO3 here!

Outline: Joe and Mimi, who are now in their seventies, decide to go on a “first date” at Mimi’s idea: they take off their rings (with them kept safely in Mimi’s purse, of course), dress up nice, and go to a nice restaurant in New York. They pretend to be on their first date (yes, at their age) and have fun with it to see what people think

Joe ran curled his left hand into a loose fist, tracing his thumb along the side of his ring finger. It was always strange— unnerving, really— to not feel the smooth, cool, gold band that rested there for so many years. The only thing that soothed this was the fact that his wife was right next to him, body close for warmth in the cold New York winter. He looked at her from his peripheral vision, seeing the smile on her face as they approached the restaurant. Despite lacking the spring in his step he had in his younger years, he took an extra step forward to pull the door open for her, gesturing for her to go ahead.

Joe had a smile on her face as he followed behind Mimi, glad to be in the warmth. If getting older cemented one thought in his mind, it was that there were few things better than being in a nice, warm building.

Of course, the definitive best thing that had never changed throughout the years was his wife, Mimi, standing right ahead of her. She had opted to wear a simple navy blue dress with a nice coat. Even though Joe was dressed in a suit, he couldn’t help but feel underdressed compared to her, but that wasn’t a new phenomenon. Even at her age, she was stunning and stylish. As he stepped forward to catch up with her, he couldn’t hide the smile on his face.

Like with everything else, Mimi handled aging with effortless grace and ease. She took to her graying hair with no issue, loving the “fashion possibilities” it brought, as she called it, and even the laugh lines and wrinkles she had made her look more elegant and beautiful— if that was even possible. Then again, with how much he let her know that fact, she would say it was. Joe felt he had become far more plain than before in his old age, but Mimi loved to coo about how he looked “distinguished,” a reaction that never failed to make him blush.

“Hello,” she greeted the maître d in her best English with a bright smile, “We have reservations under Kido.”

The woman, blonde and in her twenties, smiled back and looked down at the hefty book at the stand, “Yes, welcome!” she chirped, “They’re just getting your table ready, it’ll only be a moment.” Joe finally walked up to Mimi and stood at her side.

“She said it’ll be a minute to get the table ready,” she said to him, and he nodded in response. The maître d looked at Joe, then at Mimi again.

“Are you two celebrating anything in particular? A birthday, an anniversary…?” she asked. Mimi shook her head.

“Oh no, it’s our first date!”

The maître d’ blinked in surprise, but smiled, “I hope you both have a nice time.”

The first time Mimi brought up the idea of going to a restaurant without their rings to fake going on their first date, he gawped at her.

“But why would we do that?”

“It’ll be fun! Just think of the reactions we’d get to people hearing we’re on our first date at our age!”

So they’d gone on their “first date” months back, well in their seventies, to the surprise of the people working at the sushi restaurant they went to. Mimi had a ton of fun, and frankly, Joe enjoyed seeing Mimi smiling wide, making up little stories about how they met and what got them to go on a date. It wasn’t that Mimi was unhappy with their marriage either (considering they’d been married for over fifty years), but the idea seemed fun to her, and Joe had to admit it was fun. It was fun seeing waiters and waitresses react with surprise at Mimi exclaiming how she was so excited to go on a date with him for the first time.

It reminded him so much of their very first date, both of them so young, Joe at his most awkward, as Mimi talked him up to everyone at the restaurant who would listen. And Joe, with his limited knowledge and comfort with English back then, simply smiled and nodded the entire time. A dopey smile settled on his face, Joe comfortably in his thoughts until Mimi nudged him gently.

“Table’s ready,” she said quietly and sweetly. Joe gestured for her to go ahead and followed after her as the maître d’ led them to their table, a quiet little booth that left them just about shoulder to shoulder.

“Your waitress will be right with you, enjoy,” she said before she walked away.

“Everyone always seems so surprised when we say it’s our first date,” Joe mumbled as he looked down at the menu.

“Well not many people our age are going out on their first date. But it’s fun, right? You enjoy it?” she asked. Joe jerked his head up to look at her.

“Of course! First date, fifth date, one hundredth date, I love every single one of them,” he said, voice soft, just for her, but also genuine and serious. Mimi felt heat rise on her neck and her cheeks and swallowed hard. She mouthed an “I love you” to Joe as the waitress walked over.

“Good evening, I’ll be your waitress for the evening,” the woman smiled, “I heard you two are on your first date?”

Mimi lit up in an instant, the waitress matching his wife’s smile as Mimi had to hold back from squealing. “Yes! We are. I’m very excited,” she said, taking a moment to meet Joe’s gaze, “We both are.”

“Well I hope you both enjoy it. I’ll give you two a few minutes to look at the menu.”

The rest of their “date” went amazingly. Wine, incredible meals, and even a small dessert that their waitress had treated them to.

“It’s so sweet seeing you two going on your first date! I hope you don’t mind, but I had a little something whipped up. On the house.”

A little creme brulee with some strawberries on top, and it was delectable. Even despite how full they were, they couldn’t stop themselves from digging in.

“I’ll definitely give her a nice tip for that, that was really nice,” Joe said as Mimi took one last sip of wine.

“It was! Oh, they were so great,” Mimi said with a wistful sigh.

“It’s too bad we can’t come here again,” Joe said wryly, looking almost longingly at the now finished dessert. Mimi tilted her head in confusion as she slowly set her glass down. The answer dawned on her in an instant, though, “Oh… That’s right.”

After a minute of silence, she had a sly grin on her face, “Welllll…” she started, “I’m sure if we ever get married one day, we can come for an anniversary?” she asked with a wink. Joe let out a hearty laugh.

“I suppose we can, yes,” he nodded. “Are you ready to go?”

“Mhm.”

Joe took Mimi’s hand and helped her out of the booth. They intended on taking a small walk, but they both immediately balked at the weather, and instead opted to get to a Digital Gate to go home.

“Did you have a good time?” Mimi asked as they slowly approached their home, fingers still laced together as the two strolled at a leisurely pace.

“Of course. I’ve never not had a great time with you,” he told her, using his free hand to adjust his glasses.

“I told you,” she teased him with a wrinkle of her nose, “It’s a fun idea! Everyone always enjoys seeing two oldies like us go on a date for the first time.”

Joe chuckled, “You’re as young as ever, at least in spirit,” he told her, “I’m surprised I can even keep up with you.”

Mimi stopped them, pushing herself up on the balls of her feet (a feat that impressed Joe considering her heels) to place a chaste kiss to his jaw, reveling in the blush that burned on his face. “You can keep up with me no problem. You have all this time already, haven’t you?”

“I suppose so…” he said.

“And you’re a great first date,” she winked.

Joe stammered and sputtered out attempts at words, thrown off completely for the rest of the rather short walk home. As they approached their little home, flowers in the front yard garden in full bloom, Joe was happy to be coming home. It was always nice to have a night out with his wife, but traveling across the world in one day and going from day to night and back wasn’t easy. They approached the front door, and when they stopped there, Mimi turned to look at Joe, looking up at him as she faced him fully, taking both of his hands in hers.

“Thank you for letting me take you on a date,” Joe said with full seriousness, though the way he could barely hold back the smile clued Mimi in that he was still happy to play along.

“Thank you for taking me. I had a great time, but I guess it’s time to go,” she said with an exaggerated sigh.

“May I kiss you good night? Or, ah… good morning…?”

“You may,” Mimi snickered. Joe leaned down, aiming to kiss her on the cheek, though she intercepted him and placed a long, lingering kiss on his lips. He kissed her back, both of them closing their eyes as the kiss deepened, though Joe’s eyes shot wide open when she cheekily shot her tongue into his mouth. When they finally pulled apart, Joe gasped for air, and Mimi seemed so clearly amused by her antics.

Mimi opened the door and stepped into the doorway. “I suppose it would be a bit scandalous to invite you inside after the first date…” she mused, tapping her cheek thoughtfully. Joe couldn’t hold back anymore, and let out a loud, deep laugh. He was about to tease her over how old-fashioned she sounded when she continued. “But I don’t care about that, so come on.”

She yanked his arm, causing him to nearly trip on the doorway as he stumbled forward, and Mimi slammed the door shut behind him.

“Can I put my ring back on before we do anything, ah… scandalous…?” he asked.

“Of course you can, sweetie.”

[ahiddenpath]

💖 ~ Jyoumi ~ 💖

for @jyoumiweekend

[ahiddenpath]

@jyoumiweekend

Again, the primary couple of this fic is Sorato, but there is a lot of Jyoumi. This is my depiction of Jyou and Mimi meeting for the first time. It's so cute, just like them <33333

In the latest chapter of Puits d’Amour, Jyou meets Mimi.  He was… not ready.  I’m genuinely annoyed that this two minute sketch of Jyou is my favorite recent drawing…  I dunno, I feel like I captured him xD

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@jyoumiweekend

The primary ship for this fic is Sorato, but A Casual Date stars Jyou and Mimi going on a delightful, old-timey driving date. They talk about a lot of the points that I think make them so wonderful together, so I hope you'll consider checking out that chapter if you love Jyoumi <3

Fanfic Update: Puits d'Amour!

Read it on AO3 or FFN!

I am so thrilled to share this update with you! HOLY HECKIN YOU GUYS, I have been working on this drawing for MONTHS! If I ever mention drawing a car again, kindly boop me on the head with a rolled newspaper. I'm proud of how it turned out, though. That sure is a car!

The Jyoumi date is here at last!!! Hooray! Jyou has some heavy stuff on his mind about his life, his worldview, and his future. Luckily, Mimi is here to Keep it Real!

Please check it out! This is a good one, I think!

[ahiddenpath]

Reblog for @jyoumiweekend! Thanks so much for running an event for such an A+++ ship <3

Complete Fanfic: See You Soon

AO3/FFN

I posted the second and final Jyoumi drabble to See You Soon!  It’s a collection of two Jyoumi long distance drabbles that I rescued from the depths of my blog, back when I sometimes took requests.  The two drabbles combined are a little under 4K in length, so it’s a quick read.  It’s soft/light/fluffy romance, general audiences.  Enjoy :D

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150706

ㅇㄱ님 드린 석이!

제법 고생해서 스케치해놓고 색칠하면서 다 망한 느낌..ㅠ

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🫶

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Life Chat

Chatting about life beneath the cut.

Health and Mental Health

I'm doing... okay! Very okay lmao. I am finally feeling better after covid, it took about 3 weeks. I still sleep more than usual and have some focus issues, though. But! I am no longer running a fever, alternating between chills and hot, coughing, or coughing up gross stuff.

I started my medication in late February, and for a while, how I was adapting was all I thought about. After I got covid, I totally stopped thinking about it! By now I think I'm pretty well adjusted. I've (mostly) stopped feeling guilty for not feeling anxious and trying to get ahead of everything.

It's been a difficult year. I've gotten sick twice, started my meds, and dealt with... You know, everything going on in America. But I'm still here, trying to take care of myself.

Work

Work is a little frustrating. The biggest part of my job is to test the developability of proteins and determine which candidates are the best. Usually, I am not testing the efficacy of the protein; I am testing it for problematic behaviors, like falling apart after heat stress or self association. And I don't know whose call this was, but they are making the deck way bigger, both in terms of number of assays and how the data is graphed and presented. I had four open decks last week, and I spent a week and a half just... On this new extra stuff. And every day, people are checking in on the data, and I have to say: "Well, I now have to do x and y in addition, so... It's not ready." I will talk to my boss about the delays it's causing. That's all I can do. I assume it's someone above the head of my group asking for all of this, though.

Creating

I hate to say this, but I have not written or thought about my writing projects much in 2025. I do worry if medicating myself means that I no longer need to write to manage my mood disorder. But I don't worry much; the stories will be there when I'm ready.

So what have I been doing?

While sick, sleeping. Literally. Sleeping all day. I'm just now getting on my feet again, and I've been cleaning a lot (I uh, I really got behind in that after all the physical challenges I've been through this year) and playing video games. Specifically, I'm hooked on Schedule 1, a simulation/management game about manufacturing and distributing drugs. Ironically, it's extremely addicting! Oh, I also journal a ton. I'm loving it!

Dealing with 2025

So uh my household bought some items that may be impacted by tariffs. My husband bought some kind of saw, I made some stationery purchases (most of my adorable stationery comes from Japan or South Korea), and I stocked up on some consumables that have a long shelf life, like my shampoo/conditioner and my favorite South Korean sunscreen.

I don't know what the future holds. I feel like the tariff situation has to very quickly end in absolute confusion and ruin, but I also assume that is the goal, so I'm not sure if things will be repealed/walked back. Everything feels very... Unknown, uncertain, unwelcoming. Remember how during covid, we didn't go out except for work, so folks who could afford it bought hobby stuff? Yeah, now we won't be able to do that, either. So uhhhh.

Kids? (Mood: Kind of a downer)

It's definitely not a good time to be wondering if you will (try to) reproduce or not. I spoke to my therapist about it- I delayed that talk until I was more used to my meds. My therapist says she sees no reason why I wouldn't be a great parent, which is encouraging, because I feel like I would not be a good mom. Mostly because I... Have never seen myself that way.

My childhood was something I survived and extricated myself from; I have no fond feelings towards childhood and family. I've grown up seeing women take on the majority of the burden of the home, both in marriage and with children. I've had many women tell me that, if they could do it all again, they'd be single and living in an apartment in a city.

My relationship with my husband is the best thing in my life. He'd be an amazing dad, and I have no reason to think otherwise. But I've never daydreamed about marriage, and especially not about having kids. I can clearly understand the cons to having kids, but not the pros. I know a few women who experienced harrowing pregnancies and deliveries, including my mom. It's easy to fear and difficult to trust the future and this country, especially right now. Seriously, can you imagine being pregnant and raising a baby amid all of this political stuff in America? Big yikes?????

I'm not feeling too good about it right now, basically. But I'm still in the "make sure my uterus isn't a giant jar of cortisol before putting a baby there" stage. Like, that's the first goal. It helps both parties if I do get pregnant, and it helps me if I don't. It really mega sucks that this administration is here during my late thirties, though. Makes everything so much scarier.

I hope you are all well, despite... everything! Thanks for your patience as I've focused on my health. I know I haven't been online much, but it's been good for me. And you can message me if you ever would like to! Big kiss! Please be well and take care.

[ahiddenpath]

Always in his shadow - Always by your side.

Slightly late piece for the 25th anniversary of Digimon Adventure 02.

[ahiddenpath]

🔥The Ones Who Inherit Courage🔥

Happy 25 years of Digimon Adventure 02!!!