aidaillikeslotr - Tumblr blog

[aidaillikeslotr]

THANK YOU!

Also lets not forget who started this whole thing... 

Legolas: Tauriel is really good at her job and is a good friend

Thranduil: *internally screaming “oh?”

Also Thranduil: *tells Tauriel not to encourage his son, banishes her from his kingdom forever, sends Legolas off into the middle of nowhere 

we all like to complain about the love triangle in the hobbit movies and fair enough it’s a horribly overused and lazy trope but let’s be real it was BARELY  a love triangle…like all legolas ever does to indicate he’s even remotely interested in tauriel is watch her talking to kili with a vaguely annoyed expression on his face in the desolation of smaug, which is in character for legolas given that he stares disconcertingly in the wrong directions for about half of his total screentime in the lord of the rings, and then say that one throwaway line about how his dad “ is my king, but does not command my heart” that never gets brought up again and which, given that it’s in the nature of tolkien’s elves to be as overdramatic as possible and embellish every sentence they utter with unnecessarily flowery nonsense, could honestly just be legolas telling tauriel they’re really good bros. even the scene where he puts himself between her and thranduil’s sword fits the bill, since the lotr films already demonstrated multiple times legolas’ tendency to be canonically absurdly ride or die for his friends.

[aidaillikeslotr]

Theory: Nobody who writes a physics textbook gives any fucks

Evidence:

[aidaillikeslotr]

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again taking the pretentious sod that is book!Thorin and making him the pretentious brooding sod of the movies was definitely an improvement (Having him played by Richard Armitage didn’t hurt either). 

Thorin’s motivations in The Hobbit movie: deep, meaningful destiny to reclaim ancestral homeland

Thorin’s motivations in The Hobbit book: 

[aidaillikeslotr]

Bard to Thranduil: ”You will go to war over a handful of gems?” *feanorians laughing in the distance*

[aidaillikeslotr]

because sometimes realism is boring and i also can do comic….

[aidaillikeslotr]

But have you considered: Thorin might be nearsighted?

Case in point:

Exhibit 2

“It cannot be.”aka Doesn’t actually recognize Azog until he starts talking…

This needs no explanation:

*BOOM*

Exhibit 3:

Not subtitled, but Thorin shouts for Kili when actually Fili is the one who was almost crushed >.< 

Exhibit 4

Not pictured because I couldn’t find a gif, but Thorin prompting Balin to lead them out of Rivendell because he “can see knows these paths”

Exhibit 5 

Cut off Azog’s arm, was probably aiming for something slightly more fatal, couldn’t tell he was alive when dragged back inside Moria…

Exhibit 6

WHERE’S BILBO?

(”I have no idea because I can’t see for shit.”)

Conclusion:

Since wearing glass in front of your eyes is slightly more of a liability for a fighter than people’s faces being slightly blurry, I’m just gonna throw this out there as a possible explanation for fandom to run with ;)

[aidaillikeslotr]

[aidaillikeslotr]

The Hobbit

Where everything is the same except these two 

Are played by these two 

I mean.....

Come on

[aidaillikeslotr]

a list of things Tolkien described as ‘queer’

(within the texts of the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings)

the Took family

Gandalf’s symbol

Bilbo’s anxiety

Gandalf’s eyes

Bilbo, repeatedly

Beorn’s house

animal language

the entire Company of Thorin Oakenshield

the Wood-elves

the spiders in Mirkwood

the Brandybuck family / Bucklanders

Bag End + its inhabitants

Frodo

stories from abroad

the Nazgul

the One Ring

a fox

magically disappearing horses

Hobbiton folk

today

Farmer Maggot

the Old Forest

trees

Withywindle Valley (the queerest part of the forest, where all the queerness comes from)

badgers in general

Tom Bombadil

Aragorn

Bill Ferny

Merry

Gollum

Boromir

Treebeard

Lothlorien

Huorns

Treebeard screaming

Wormtongue

Sam

Shelob’s cave

some of my fav quotes:

and honorable mention (this is gay, not queer, but it’s still hilarious)

[aidaillikeslotr]

[aidaillikeslotr]

I would take each and every one of these Dwarves over an army from the Iron Hills.

[aidaillikeslotr]

I like in the Fellowship of the Rings where they are standing outside the big ass door with the riddle “Speak friend and enter” thing. 

And then they’re like, what’s friend in elvish and Legolas just stands there and says nothing.

[aidaillikeslotr]

one of my favorite lotr facts is that gondorians speak sindarin as a first language and yet when faramir was talking to frodo and sam about cirith ungol he was like “we don’t know what’s in there.” like faramir. cirith ungol is sindarin for “pass of the spider.” do the math

[aidaillikeslotr]

The best part of Gimli’s weird awkward infatuation with Galadriel is just Celeborn standing in the background having no idea what to do every time this strange grumpy dwarf starts waxing poetic about his wife

[aidaillikeslotr]

Fight Me

Tolkein fans can say what they want about the Hobbit movies, but there are three things they improved from the books: 

1. Bilbo stealing the Arkenstone. Because ‘let’s go to the mountain and steal a kingdom’s worth of gold oh no the dragons awake what do we do’ was kinda dumb, so at least having one specific piece of treasure to steal made sense. 

2. Making Thorin likeable. I know this is a matter of taste, but taking the pretentious sod from the books and making him the pretentious brooding sod from the movies made me actually care that he died. 

3. Tauriel. Yes Taureil. And you can fight me on this. Because hallelujah, we have a female character.

[aidaillikeslotr]

Thorin: Honestly? Fuck elves.

Kíli: IM TRYING UNCLE

[aidaillikeslotr]

Thranduil by Wan-Mei