aj-the-cat - Tumblr blog

aj-the-cat · 3 years ago

Text

Under Your Scars

Masterlist

Sirius Black x Remus Lupin

Warnings: Feels. Just a lot of feels.

Notes: I wrote this while I was heavily invested in Harry Potter a couple months back. Ik its different from my usual writing muses, but like, its good to add spice y'know?

Also, before you read I would suggest you listen to "'Under Your Scars' by Godsmack" first ✨

Light filtered through the crack in the curtains, pooling around man and dog laying on the floor. The dog stirred at the light, picking up its head and looking around, before settling its gaze on the bare man beside it. Shifting, paws turned into hands and feet, and where the dog had lain, a man with black hair stretched and groaned.

He spoke, voice raspy from the morning, and placed a cool hand on the shoulder of the man resting beside him. "Moony, its sunrise."

The other man, tall and lean, groaned and his green eyes fluttered open.

"Siri.." He rasped. Sirius accio'd a blanket and wrapped it around the bare body of Remus on the floor.

"I'll get a bath started for you. Your pain potion is on the bedside table." Sirius helped Remus sit up as he spoke, calm and gentle. Mornings after full moons were full of comfort and sleep, and Remus cherished these little moments.

Sirius handed Remus his potion and stood up fully. "I'll get that bath ready."

He padded off to the connected bathroom. Remus sighed, then winced as pain shot through his right side. Moony and Padfoot must've roughhoused too hard last night. He noted the small twinges of discomfort shooting through his joints and muscles, and started sipping the foul concoction.

He barely heard the water fill the tub, and could hardly make out Sirius calling softly for his partner. His senses were still jumbled from the recent transformation.

"Rem, love, the bath is ready." Sirius squatted down next to Remus and lightly touched his shoulder, taking him out of his focus.

Green eyes met grey, and slowly, Sirius helped Remus stand on wobbly legs.

"I got you, its ok." Sirius whispered, and slowly led him to the bathroom. Scents of lavender and vanilla hit his nose when he crossed the threshhold, calming him. The bath was steaming and bubbles floated on the top. Remus smiled.

Sirius pulled off the blanket that was still wrapped around Remus and helped him into the bath, and groans of relief filled the air. Sirius chuckled. Remus playfully glared as he settled, and Sirius sat on the toilet seat.

"Fuck this feels good." Remus murmured. Aching bones and muscles relaxed in the warm water. He laid his head back and closed his eyes, relishing in the warmth. The black haired male leaned against the back of the toilet, watching his lover's peaceful face.

'How'd I get this lucky?' He thought to himself.

Remus relished the tranquil atmosphere, almost falling asleep. Eventually, the water grew lukewarm and Sirius got a crick in his neck.

"Siri, the water's cold," Remus sighed, eyes still closed. Sirius stood up, popped his neck, and wordlessly accio'd a towel. "Come on love, up."

Shakily, the werewolf stood and grabbed the towel from Sirius, who bent down to drain the tub. Remus steadied himself and carefully climbed over the tub walls. "I feel old like this.." he sighed. Sirius hesitated, but continued leading him out of the tub and out of the bathroom.

Murmuring a drying spell and conjuring pajama pants from somewhere in the bedroom, Sirius kissed Remus' cheek - as much as he could anyways, the man was almost a foot taller than Sirius - and leaned his forehead against his shoulder. "Moons, you are not old. You are not helpless. It's ok for me to help you after fulls. I love you, and I will take care of you." He placed a light kiss against the freckled shoulder.

Remus sighed. "Can we get to bed? I don't think I can stand for much longer."

Sirius lifted his head. "Oh, right, lets go."

He led him to the black bed and carefully sat him down. "This ok?" Sirius asked. Remus nodded, and swung his legs into the bed.

Taking off his shirt, Sirius crossed the room to the other side of the bed, pulling the sheets back so he and Remus could wriggle under. The werewolf scooted to the middle of the bed, leaning into Sirius as he pulled the sheets over both of them.

"Lean back, thats it." Sirius praised as he led Remus to lean back into the sheets, and wrapped his arms around the werewolf's middle, placing his chin on his shoulder.

They laid there, calm and serene, unmoving, until Sirius trailed his hand to Remus' hip, tracing the scars marked upon his skin. Remus shifted slightly at the feel of the calloused hand on his hip.

"Sirius..." He whispered. Sirius silenced him with a kiss to the shoulder. He moved his hand to Remus' lean stomach, tracing the biggest scar. It was from one of his first transformations.

He traced the outline, slowly letting his finger feel each inch of imperfect skin. Smaller scars littered the rest of his stomach, and Sirius' fingers drifted over each of them, giving them the same attention as he did the bigger one. Remus reached out to Sirius' arm, stopping his movements. He let his hand trail up Sirius' arm, passing similar scars and imperfections.

Remus reached to the animagi's shoulder, stopping at the beginning of the largest one on his back. Sirius let out a strangled sigh, halting Remus' movements. "You want me to stop?" He asked quietly.

Sirius nuzzled his head into Remus' neck. "No, continue," he whispered.

Remus continued his movements, trailing down the too symmetrical scars and to the hands of Sirius, intertwining their fingers.

They both sighed in contentment and relaxed into each other.

"I love you so much." Sirius whispered. Remus squeezed the intertwined fingers.

"I love you too." He whispered back.

They fell into each other, thoughts swirling, and reveled in each other's bodies.

In reality, their relationship made no sense to outsiders. Sirius, the dramatic aristocrat who couldn't keep his mouth shut, fell in love with Remus, the reserved werewolf who could be stubborn as hell. They may not seem like they could make it work, but they did. And it was worthwhile.

~~~~~

As soon as he apparated into the Department of Mysteries, he noticed the chaos. Spell after spell rebounded off the walls and floors, narrowly missing Order members and Death eaters alike. Remus quickly stepped down from the rock he apparated on.

Each one of his fellow Order members was in their respective battles, with Moody dueling two Death Eaters at the same time. A red spell whizzed past Remus' ear. He turned around and quickly blocked an onslaught of spells thrown at him by an unfamiliar Death Eater.

Around him, Tonks and Bellatrix were in a heated battle, Sirius was with Harry, fending off Dolohov and Malfoy, and Kingsley had LeStrange in a wand chokehold. Overall, it was an all out brawl.

The unnamed Death Eater in front of Remus let out a yell of frustration as none of his dangerous spells hit the werewolf. Remus let his shield down and wordlessly shot a Stunning Spell. The Death Eater blocked it. Remus huffed and hurled Stunning Spell after Stunning Spell at him, adding arm movements and wand twirls to further enhance its power.

Each one was blocked, and the red spell fired after each Stun was blocked. It was straining, having to continuously put up and put down Shields and fire Stuns.

Sweat dripped down Remus' brow as he blocked and performed spell after spell. Around him, Tonks and Moody were unconscious, Kingsley was still fighting LeStrange, and Sirius and Harry were nicely fending off Malfoy and Dolohov.

The unnamed Death Eater was momentarily distracted by the spells casted by the Veil, Dolohov being blasted backwards and knocked unconscious. Remus took this opportunity and blasted a heavy Stunning Spell, knocking the Death Eater clean out. Remus breathed a sigh of relief and wiped his forehead.

"NICE ONE, JAMES!"

Sirius' voiced pricked Remus' ears and brought his attention to the interaction at the Veil. Harry had just knocked Malfoy's wand out of his hand. Sirius did a fancy twirl with his wand and blasted Malfoy back into the floor below. Remus smiled, and put his wand into his coat pocket.

The crack of apparation turned his attention to a tall rock spire, where Bellatrix landed.

"Avada Kedavra!"

The spell left her wand quicker than Remus could comprehend what just happened, and the green light hit Sirius dead on. He watched Harry's smile fade as he too realized what happened.

Grey eyes went blank, lifeless, and he fell back into the Veil, the ghost of laughter still on his face from blasting Malfoy back.

Remus had no time to react. All happiness washed out of him, and he ran to Harry, wrapping his arms around him to stop him from following Sirius into the Veil. Remus kept his composure as he held a screaming Harry in his arms, not wanting to make Harry feel even more terrible.

Harry squirmed in Remus' arms, determined to go to the Veil, but Remus kept him back. Bellatrix's laughter filled the air, and Harry stopped moving, looking toward the direction of the laughter. Harry fought, and eventually got out of Remus' grip and ran after Bellatrix.

The weight of everything hit Remus like a hippogriff. Sirius was gone. His lover since Hogwarts, was now dead. Tears filled his eyes and spilled down his cheeks. He was now alone in the Veil room, everyone else had either fled or gone after Harry.

Remus screamed. He screamed louder than he had in his life, even with the transformations every full moon. Emotions poured out of him as he dropped to the floor to his knees and tears pooled on the floor.

Sirius was gone and he could do nothing.

Tonks and Moody eventually woke, finding a crying Remus on the floor by the Veil. They immedietly knew what happened, and Tonks ran to Remus' side, apparating him back to the front door of Grimmauld Place. Tears blocked his vision so he couldn't see where he was, but the scent of everything made him know.

He yelled and fought against Tonks' grip. He didn't want to come back here. He didn't want to be reminded of Sirius. Everything in this house smelled like him, and it made it hurt worse.

He felt broken, like something inside him died. Something that could never be repaired.

He broke out of Tonks' grip and ran out of the house, blindly apparating away. He landed in crunchy leaf litter, the faint moonlight of the half moon lighting up his little patch of woods. He had apparated to the Forest of Dean.

Remus wiped the tears out of his eyes and off his cheeks as he looked around. The last time he was here was before the resurrection of the Order, running around as Moony with Padfoot for a couple moons.

The memories caused more tears to flow down his cheeks as he remembered the mornings after, the gentle touch of Sirius as he healed him. The loving touch against his skin, gentle kisses and caring looks.

Shakily, he walked into the forest, following the trees and the earthy smell of the lake nearby. He walked, leaves crunching under his shoes and moonlight illuminating his path.

Eventually, after some walking, he dropped at the side of the lake. The water gleamed in the moonlught, casting a silvery shine upon Remus' facial scars.

'I don't understand why you don't like them. They make you look more handsome.' Sirius' voice echoed in his head.

Silent tears flowed down his face. All the memories of Sirius washed over him. With shaking hands, he took his wand from his coat and whispered,

"Expecto Patronum"

A silvery wolf poured out of his wand and trotted along the lake surface. Its gleaming eyes pierced into Remus' as it trotted next to its conjurer. It sat down, gazing upon the lake, and Remus choked out a sob.

He felt broken, and as the silvery wolf disappered, he felt like he could never be happy again.

He felt lost.

~~~~~

Remus left the Astronomy Tower after his word with Kingsley. The magnum of everything was setting in. They were at war, and it was gonna stop today.

He quickly walked down the tower and down the stairs of the main staiwell, stopping on the second floor. Rubble was everywhere, classrooms and walls laid in ruins, suits of armor and paintings laid on the floor. He stopped briefly as he passed his old office, the memories filling his mind. He pushed them aside and continued walking.

Remus stopped walking, ears pricking at the soft footsteps, and the faint scent of dark magic filled his nose. He palmed his wand, deciding the right time to face his attacker was now.

'Levicorpus!'

His attacker blocked the spell, sending one of his own.

'Crucio!'

Pain shot through every nerve in his body, forcing him to his knees and releasing his wand.

'Crucio'

The pain ended, leaving Remus breathless and sweaty. "Well well, if it isnt the Order's pet werewolf." The voiced sneered.

"Dolohov." Remus bit. He looked up into the black eyes of the Death Eater in front of him. "Fancy seeing you here, I would've thought Voldemort would've killed for you letting three teenagers obliviate you." Dolohov growled. "Shut your mouth, filthy werewolf."

Remus smirked. He reached for his wand, slowly. "And you're nothing but a pawn of Voldemort, used and eventually to be forgotten. At least this 'filthy werewolf' was praised by his collegues." His hand touched his wand.

Dolohov yelled out and sent a red curse flying, but Remus quickly blocked it and stood to his feet. "You will regret that." Remus whispered.

'Impedimenta!'

'Confrigo!'

The spells bounced off each other, exploding in a shower of sparks. Dolohov's black eyes glinted and Remus stood his ground, gripping his wand tight. They stared at each other, one not daring to move.

Dolohov shifted, and Remus quickly put up a shield as a hefty red spell shot from the opposers wand. Dolohov yelled, and shot spell after spell to Remus, who stood stanced, keeping up his shield. He didn't dare move, not with Dolohov this mad.

"Is that everything you got?!" Remus yelled from behind his shield. Dolohov laughed, a cruel and wicked laugh, and shot a purple spell. Remus' eyes grew in horror as his shield broke, and pain broke out around his body. He fell to his knees again, screaming as the pain increased.

Dolohov stepped forward, not releasing the spell until his feet were near Remus' face. "Crucio." The pain vanished, and Remus shivered on the floor. Dolohov chuckled and kicked the wand out of the werewolf's hand.

The wand clattered against the wall and on the floor. "Defenceless at last. Ironic." Dolohov mused. The Death Eater bent down and gripped Remus's chin, forcing him to look into his black eyes. "How does it feel to be at the mercy of a Death Eater? Are you scared little wolf?" He chuckled. Remus bared his teeth.

"Fuck you." He spat. Dolohov gripped his jaw tighter. "Is that any way to talk, little wolf?" He waved his wand and a ribbon flew out of it, gagging Remus. "Try not to scream."

Dolohov released his grip on Remus' jaw, and stood up. He gave a foul smirk, and flicked his wand. The familiar pain shot through Remus' body, agonizing and relentless. He fell to the floor fully, writhing, but trying not to give Dolohov the satisfaction of screaming.

Tears pricked his eyes, and the pain got worse. He bit around the gag, fighting the urge to scream. Dolohov was dancing around him, watching the sight with evil glee on his face.

'Crucio.'

The pain lifted and Remus struggled to breathe. It was so overwhelming, and tears flowed from the corners of his eyes.

"Bye bye, little wolf." Dolohov cooed. He pointed his wand at the werewolf on the floor.

'Sirius, I love you.' He thought, and green light filled his vision.

Then, nothing.

He felt weightless. White flooded his vision.

Remus opened his eyes, blinking against the harsh white everywhere. He was lying down in a neat white bed, his surroundings faint but clear as he got his bearings.

He looked around. It was the Hospital Wing at Hogwarts, albeit fuzzy and white. He looked down at his feet. He was barefoot. 'Odd.' He thought.

He swung his legs over the bed and stood up. He felt nothing. No pain, no stiffness in his lower back he usually felt, he felt like nothing.

He walked over to the mirror at the washbasin Madame Pomfrey kept by the door. He looked at himself, and gasped.

His face wasnt covered in scars anymore, he looked younger, like his right age. His eyes were dull, but his face showed youth.

"It's surprising, is it not?" The voice filled Remus' senses and he whipped around, almost crying at the sight in front of him.

Sirius leaned against one of the beds, face youthful and eyes full of love. A haze of white surrounded his body. "Sirius.." Remus choked. Sirius held out his arms and Remus fell into them, relishing in the warmth and familiarity of his lost lover. Tears flowed out of his eyes as he held Sirius tight to his body, emotions from the past flooding back.

"I missed you so much." Remus choked out. Sirius swayed the two of them in place, calming Remus. "I know. I could feel it, even from here." Sirius whispered. Remus continued to sob into Sirius.

"Moons, its time. Its time to go home. James and Lily are waiting." Remus pulled off of Sirius and wiped his eyes. "Are they really?" He choked. Sirius smiled and nodded. "Yes. James is eager as hell. Now come on!"

He lifted his hand for Remus to take, which he took gladly, and he led him out of the Hospital Wing. All Remus could see was white as he followed Sirius, then color blinded his eyes. He squinted, then widened his eyes at the sight in front of him.

It was the Gryffindor common room. The fire was alight and blazing, and the squashy armchairs surrounded it looked comfy as ever. Two of them were occupied, the persons hand in hand and laughing, and he almost cried again as he recognized the two.

Lily and James sat in the chairs, talking softly. Sirius cleared his throat, and the two looked up. James let out some sort of cry and ran to Remus, hugging him tight. "Remus, mate! Bloody hell I missed you so much!" James cried. Lily walked over and touched Remus' arm. "I'm glad you're here, Rem."

James let go of Remus. "Come on! We have so much to catch up on! Although I know a bit from Sirius and spying on you for 17 years." Remus quirked a brow. "Spying? How?" He asked. Sirius chuckled. "Just follow him."

James led Remus to the armchairs and gestured him to sit, which he did, on the loveseat and Sirius sat next to him. Remus smiled softly at Sirius and intertwined their fingers, and James cleared his throat.

"Moony, mate, welcome to the Afterlife. Dumbledore is around here somewhere, but this is where we mostly kept." James gestured around the room. "The mantle above the fire allows us to see into the living world if we so desire." Lily spoke.

Sirius spoke up next to Remus. "Gods love, did you miss me that much that you Apparated to the Forest of Dean almost every day?" Sirius joked. Remus lightly hit him. "I was devastated, Pads!"

"Anyways!" James called. "We spied on Harry and you lot after we died, and it helped a lot." Lily smiled. "James almost cried when he found out Harry became the youngest Seeker in a century." James dramatically put a hand over his heart. "I was so proud. My boy followed in my footsteps, stubborn nature and all!"

The group laughed. Remus continued smiling as he looked around. He was with his friends, his family, in the afterlife. He felt happy again.

"Oi, Sirius." Remus whispered.

"Yeah Moons?" Sirius whispered back.

"Do they allow shagging around here? I want to show you how much I really missed you."

#remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar #harry potter #fanfic

11 notes · View notes