ajesterwrites

[ajesterwrites]

18. tiebreaker

summary: damon catches you in a vulnerable moment.

pairings: damon salvatore x fem! reader

warnings: mention of death

word count: 1.8K

YOUR BREATH WAS SHALLOW as you climbed into the SUV. You swallowed hard, struggling to hold back your tears, and slammed the door shut. The whole van shook. You stared ahead at the empty parking lot, your mind racing from this night's events. Everyone was still at the stadium, probably summing up Tyler's outburst to typical Timberwolf aggression, and carrying on with the game. Meanwhile, you were trying not to cry your eyes out.

You rifled through your purse for your phone and scrolled through the contacts until you found her name.

Holly.

You tapped on her name. Her number dialed painfully slow. "Come on, come on," You whispered desperately. "Please pick up."

Click. "You've reached Dr. Holly Bernard. I'm afraid I can't get to you but please leave a message and—"

"FUCK!" You screamed, throwing your phone against the dashboard. Nerves prickled your face, your heart ached, and your gut felt like it'd been sucker-punched by Mike Tyson.

Jeremy hated you. Caroline hated you. Bonnie would probably hate you too once she heard more of Caroline's perspective. Hell, even Stefan must've been regretting giving you that necklace.

You'd hurt them more times than you could count. Maybe you deserved to be alone. Maybe you deserved what happened to you in the trauma center. It'd only revealed what you'd always known: you were a shitty person not worthy of redemption. No one should be wasting tears over you. You wished you could fade away and give everyone the peace they deserved.

Knuckles tapped against the window.

You wiped your tears and looked up.

Damon waved at you innocently, but didn't even try to conceal his smirk. This was the real him. Not that good-natured, laidback, caring brother persona he'd projected at dinner. You scoffed. Unbelievable. God, he just didn’t quit.

Wordlessly, you flipped him off with both fingers and turned away.

He knocked again. With an exasperated sigh, you rolled down the window. “What?” You snapped.

“You look like you could use some company," He said smoothly.

The sheer audacity of people never failed to surprise you. "You know, usually when a woman slaps you, it's because she doesn't want your company. So thanks. But I'll pass."

“Oh come on…" He coaxed. You made the mistake of looking into his infuriatingly charming blue eyes. "I promise I don’t bite."

You stared blankly at him. Why did he always speak like he was trying to seduce you? And couldn't he read the damn room?

Before you could fire back a snappy retort, he help up a bottle of Budweiser. “I brought beer.” 

Reluctantly, you accepted the bottle. If this was Damon's idea of a peace offering, it was a useless gesture. But after the night you'd had, you longed to drink your misery away, though your mind whirled with suspicion. How convenient was it that he happened to have an unopened bottle of beer right on hand when you needed it most—assuming it was unopened?

You burned your hand twisting that damn cap off. At least you knew he hadn't spiked it. You raised the bottle half-heartedly just to be polite (which he definitely didn't deserve), and gulped it down. The sweetness danced on your tongue and burned your throat, but you didn't stop until the taste of liquor overwhelmed your urge to cry.

“Woah, easy there!” Damon laughed. 

You dropped the bottle from your lips and exhaled. “Thanks.” 

You hadn't had a drink since the night of the bonfire. When Vicki was attacked...and Ryder died. You decided that if you thought of him again, you'd raid Jenna's liquor cabinet when you got home.

Damon leaned on the car door, watching you intently. Your throat stung, leaving a warm and buzzing sensation, but at least your eyes didn't. "So..." Damon drawled, a seductive edge to his voice. You rolled your eyes. “Y/N Gilbert…defender of friends, drinker of beer….” 

“E,” You corrected. Damon squinted his eyes, puzzled. "If you're going to say my full name, you may as well get it right. It’s Y/N E. Gilbert.” 

“Your middle name," Damon realized.

You nodded. “It’s Elena. It means light.” Ironically, you could use some light right about now. “What’s yours?” 

He chuckled like it was a silly question. You stared at him expectantly, not letting down. He must've seen this as an "in" because a few moments later, he sighed. "Francesco," He admitted.

“Damon Francesco Salvatore," You enunciated. You couldn't help but laugh. That was the most Italian name you'd ever heard. "Wow. It has a nice ring to it.”

Damon scoffed.

“What? I'm serious!” You giggled. A smile lit up your face. Later, you'd blame it on the alcohol. “Thanks for the beer.” 

“Any time.” 

“What’s going on here?” A sharp voice cut in. You and Damon both looked up. Stefan was charging toward the van, his expression hard with disapproval. It was so unlike his usual smile around you. His eyes darted at the bottle in your hand, then to Damon's smug face. “Y/N, did he give you that?” 

And just like that, you remembered where you were…and who you were with. Oh, Caroline was going to be pissed. You hadn’t meant anything romantically, obviously, but talking to him after telling her that Damon was an ass? You were sure to lose friendship points.

God, why did you keep messing everything up?

Damon sighed, irritated, and eased off the door. “Relax, brother. A little drink never killed anyone.” 

“Y/N?” 

“Yeah, he did,” You said after realizing that Stefan was ignoring his brother. “But it’s fine. I probably needed it.” 

“I thought you said you wanted to be alone.” 

“I did," You replied, glancing away. You should've peeled out of the driveway the second Damon slithered in like the snake he was. "I'm gonna go. See you tomorrow?”

Stefan nodded, still glaring—but you were pretty sure that look was for Damon. “Yeah.” 

Against your better judgment, you eyed Damon. He regarded you with mischievous eyes like he knew where you'd look. You sighed quietly. “Good night, Damon.” 

He smirked. “Good night, Y/N.” 

With one last look at Stefan, you revved up the engine, pulled out of the parking lot, and rode home.

Admittedly, your hands shook the entire time.

And it took about half an hour to get there—even though there was barely any traffic and the house was ten minutes away—but you were relieved that you made it home in one piece. And that a deputy didn't pull you over to request your license. Or make you take a breathalyzer test.

When you arrived at the house, Jenna was busy running around frantically and burning a pot of macaroni and cheese in the kitchen. At least the smell of burning—well, everything—would mask beer on your breath.

Jenna blew hair out of her face and spun to face you. “Where’s Jeremy?” 

“He didn’t come home?” You asked, frowning.

"No..." Jenna replied. He hadn't taken the SUV to the game. Come to think of it, you didn't know who had brought him. You'd been so excited to tell everyone that you'd dropped cheerleading for the art club that Jeremy being at the football game hadn't even crossed your mind. At least, not until he got pummeled by Tyler Lockwood and almost killed Stefan.

Guilt tugged at your chest. How could have you let yourself be so happy that you forgot about your own brother?

Jenna narrowed her eyes and put a hand on her hip. "Why isn’t he with you?” 

“Ask him when he gets here,” You muttered, brushing past her. Drinking on an empty stomach was a rookie move, and you didn't want to explain to Jenna that you were one step away from vomiting on the floors. Between the beer and all the stress, your body was too weak to support you. And passing out in your room was better than passing out on the kitchen floor.

“Wait– Y/N–” Jenna practically tripped running in front of you. “What’s going on with you? Bonnie called asking for you. She seemed upset. And Sheriff Forbes called as well—said something about a fight involving Jeremy?” 

You pinched your forehead. “Um, yeah, he…I punched Tyler Lockwood.”

Jenna's jaw dropped. “You did what?” 

If Jenna knew the truth, the burned dinner would be the least of her worries. The last thing you wanted was to stress her further, but Jeremy was out of control. At least you had a grip...kind of. If Jenna thought that you were responsible for the fight, she wouldn't be as overwhelmed, knowing that you were reasonable, somewhat obedient, and likely wouldn't do it again.

“And Jeremy wanted to defend me so they got into it,” You added.

Jenna started at you, her mouth still agape. “Okay, just so we’re clear…Tyler Lockwood, Vicki’s boyfriend? And Matt’s best friend? The kid you punched in the second grade?” 

“That would be the one,” You mumbled, looking away. Everyone thought you'd done it because he rejected you. Really, it had been because he passed your love letter around the school, purposefully humiliating you. So you broke his nose in front of the entire school, purposefully humiliating him. Checkmate.

“Y/N, what were you thinking?" Jenna pursed her lips disappointedly. "Do you know how much trouble you could get into?”

You glanced at the floor. “I know.” 

Jenna exhaled. You almost felt bad for lying. But she'd be stressed either away. At least this way, you could minimize the damage. “Are you gonna ground me?” You asked quietly.

“No, I just…" She sighed again. "You’re a good kid. But…what happened with Vicki was bad enough. This can’t be a pattern. Do you understand, Y/N?” 

“Yes. I’m sorry.” 

“That’s not all.” 

Her voice was strained, like it took everything in her to stop it from wavering. You frowned. “What is it?” 

“Um…your history teacher…Mr. Tanner.” 

“Yeah, what about him?” 

Jenna hesitated. “He's dead.” 

You blinked. “What?” 

“The sheriff is saying it was an animal attack. I’m so sorry, Y/N.”  She reluctantly pulled you into a hug, but you stood still, frozen in shock. You feared that one movement would send you to the floor. But if you couldn't even pull yourself together by a comforting embrace, Jenna would know something was wrong and spiral even further into self-doubt. So you swallowed hard and slowly returned the hug.

Everything suddenly became clearer.

You'd written Vicki's accident off as an animal attack, but you couldn't deny the truth any longer.

Nothing seemed right—the two college kids mauled in the road on the first day of school, Vicki's attack at the bonfire. You'd thought that Ryder was responsible. But he was dead. There was no way he could've killed Mr. Tanner. This could only mean one thing.

There was a vampire in Mystic Falls.

[ajesterwrites]

17. game night

summary: damon reveals his true intentions. jeremy has an outburst and caroline finally snaps.

pairings: damon salvatore x fem! reader, brief stefan salvatore x fem! reader

warnings: mild violence

word count: 2.4K

author's note: just a gentle reminder that I accept all forms of constructive criticism

IN JUST AN HOUR, the sun had disappeared.

You sat at the bottom of the bleachers, surrounded by screaming supporters. Coach Tanner's voice blared through the speaker, rallying the crowd by promising to crush the opposing team. Then he congratulated his new star player, eliciting even more whoops and cheers. Stefan stood among his teammates in a unified line. In response to the applause—and a few curious looks from his fellow players—he forced a humble smile.

You gazed at him, your hand instinctively reaching for the necklace. You'd just gotten it an hour ago, and now it felt as a part of you as your own heart.

Unease rushed over you. If this gesture was romantic...you couldn't stand the thought. And not because you didn't feel...something for him. It was because you did. It was selfish. Stupid.

You couldn't afford to get that close to someone. And Stefan had been through so much. If he saw how distant you truly were, it'd only hurt him more. You needed to sever these semi-romantic ties before it trapped you both. But how could you when your new silver heart made your real heart flutter?

Sighing, you rose to your feet and weaved through the crowd. The game hadn't started, and maybe a quick walk to Jenna's SUV would ease your nerves. Besides, you hadn't eaten much today. That dream you'd had of Ryder and Damon the night before had shaken you more than you cared to admit.

You rummaged through the trunk until finally, you settled on a bag of chips. You slammed the trunk shut and turned to leave—only to find yourself mere inches away from Damon Salvatore. Your soul jumped from your body. His electric blue eyes widened teasingly, as if trying to bewitch you. You frowned. "What are you doing here?"

Damon leaned in like he was telling you a secret and whispered "I'm hiding from Caroline."

Your frown deepened. "Why?"

"I needed a break," He shrugged. "She talks more than I can listen."

"That could be a sign," You said, scowling. What an asshole.

"Well she's awfully young."

If you weren't confused before, you definitely were now. "Not much younger than you are."

Damon chuckled. "I don't see it going anywhere in the bigger picture. I think she'd drive me crazy."

The way he said it, reeking with arrogance, like you were just going to agree made your body blaze with anger. Caroline was many things—a complete chatterbox, for sure, and she could be kind of tactless—but she was a great person and a wonderful friend. You wouldn't trade her for the world. And she was so into Damon—she was wearing scarves to "try something new" which was definitely code for "Damon likes it when I wear these so now I'll wear them forever." And here he was, talking about Caroline like she was some sort of pest. As if he hadn't pursued her. And if he disliked her so much, why did he go on a sort-of double date with her just last night?

"I'm sure you understand," Damon went on.

You scoffed in disbelief. "If you really feel that way about her, then maybe don't be a dick and stop leading her on." He opened his mouth to speak but you cut him off. "Caroline and I have been best friends since the first grade, and maybe you don't understand because you're too busy terrorizing Stefan, but that means something to me."

"Duly noted," Damon said coolly. "I'm sorry if I offended you, that's not my intention."

You scoffed again. "Yes, it is. Otherwise, you wouldn't put an alternate meaning behind everything you say."

Damon smiled, his eyes soulless and calculating. "You're right," He mused. "I do have other intentions. But so do you."

"Really?" You glared at him. Right now the only intention you had was to slap that arrogant look off his face.

He hummed in agreement as if he knew everything about you. "I see them." He leaned forward, his smirk deepening. "You want me."

You'd never scoffed so much in a single conversation. "Excuse me?"

"I get to you. You find yourself drawn to me. You think about me when you don't wanna think about me. I bet you've even dreamed about me."

You hated to admit it, but for a moment, your scowl cracked. Flashes of the dream invaded your mind. That sly look he'd had in his eyes when you'd pulled away from him...

You gazed at Damon, locked in place. How did he know? How could he see through you like that?

"And right now..." His voice was buttery and smooth, trying to slither his way into your mind and disarm you. "You wanna kiss me."

He leaned in, smirking, eerily similar to how he had in your dream. Like he'd been thinking that you'd wanted to be held, undressed, and kissed by him—not Ryder—all along.

That's it. Your palm struck his face faster than you could comprehend. He slowly turned his face to yours, and you hoped the slap was as jarring as it felt. That stupid smirk was gone completely. You stepped closer to him, giving him the exact distance that he craved, and looked him dead in the eye. "I don't know what game you're trying to play with Stefan here, but I won't let you pull my friends into this. And I don't know what happened in the past, but let's get one thing straight: I am not Katherine."

You stormed off, your palm stinging, and didn't dare look back.

~

You were still steaming as you joined the crowd at the bleachers. Bonnie caught your eye from across the field and waved enthusiastically. You returned a huge smile, but it quickly vanished as soon as she looked away. You couldn't believe what Damon had done. Using Caroline? Trying to kiss you?

Memories of your first meeting sharpened in your mind. His weird staring contest with Stefan, how he'd seemingly tried to drive a wedge between you and his brother by mentioning Katherine, the way he'd kissed your hand with ulterior motives. He was toying with you. He was trying to get under his brother's skin. That's why he'd crashed the dinner.

Caroline could talk for ages—it couldn't have taken much to convince her to agree. She probably didn't even know what his intentions were.

You huffed. How had you seen anything human in him? You thought you'd had a heart-to-heart in your kitchen, but that was impossible. Damon didn't have a heart. He was a callous, spiteful asshole who saw pawns instead of people. You were all just pieces in a game he'd concocted to beat Stefan. Last night, you'd played along. But him trying to kiss you behind Caroline's back was your last straw.

Just as you felt the urge to scream, a sharp CLINKKK ripped you from your fury. Your blood turned to ice. The last time you'd heard that sound...ceramic crashing against iron bars. Chamomile splashing against the cold ground. Your shrieks when in the sweetness, you'd tasted something else—something thick, metallic, and...red.

"TYLER!" A girl's voice screamed. Vicki. Your head snapped toward the sound. But through all the red clothes, accessories, and pompoms, it was nearly impossible to see anything. Her next words made your heart pound. "Stop, you're hurting him!"

You pushed through the crowd, ignoring the dirty looks and sneers. Your brain latched onto Vicki's cries like it was a string pulling you to the scene.

"Enough, he's down!" Another voice shouted. Stefan.

You zipped across the field, running on pure instinct and adrenaline. A horde of people had crowded around the scene, desperate to get a view. You shoved them all aside until finally...

You stopped in your tracks. The color drained from your face. Jeremy was laying on the ground, blood trickling from his lips, smearing his face. Tyler stood over him. His eyes were wide and enraged, aimed at Stefan, who was trying to intervene. But all you saw was red. Literally.

How dare he make your brother bleed?

You surged forward, determined to give him a taste of your fist, when you noticed Jeremy flip onto his stomach. You hadn't even seen him grab the bottle—but suddenly he jerked to his feet. Everything happened so quickly, you couldn't tell who had done what—someone had thrown a punch, someone had spun around, and you thought you'd caught a glimpse of Matt's blond hair—but in only a split second, Stefan's hand had taken the brunt of the bottle, and Tyler Lockwood was on the ground. Warm, thick blood splattered on your arm. Your stomach churned. But then you remembered where the blood had come from.

"Stefan!" You rushed to Stefan, your heart in your throat. He curled his hand into a fist like he didn't want you to see the damage. But you had seen it. And it made you sick.

“Raven!” Bonnie and Caroline screamed in unison, running toward you.

“What just happened?” Caroline exclaimed, her eyes hysterically darting around the field. Somehow, in all the chaos, Matt had intercepted, and was shoving Tyler away before he could do more damage.

“Tyler,” You responded, not tearing your eyes away from the wound. “Let me see your hand. Seriously, how bad is it?” 

"I'm okay," Stefan said calmly, but it only made you panic more.

Your head whipped toward your brother, his wild eyes all too familiar. You stepped closer to him, your lips parted in shock. Your nose burned with the stench of liquor. "Are you fucking crazy?" You exclaimed. "You could've killed him!"

"Well, I didn't," Jeremy muttered, shoving past you. You grabbed his shoulder and spun him around.

"You hurt Stefan!" You shouted. "He was only trying to help you!"

"I didn't need his help!"

"So you stabbed him?"

"I'm fine," Stefan assured you. "Really."

You gripped his hand. "No, look at what he did to your hand!"

You pried his fist open and gasped.

The blood...it was gone. There was a faint reddish stain where the blood was supposed to be. But it was like nothing had happened. You looked up at him, frowning. "What...but...you were bleeding-"

"It wasn't mine."

"I saw it!"

"It's not my blood," Stefan swore, a strained smile on his face. "He missed."

He wiped his hand on his dark pants. You tried to think. The only ones close enough to draw blood were him, Jeremy, and Tyler. But Tyler hadn't been bleeding...had he?

You swallowed hard and pinched your forehead, rubbing your temple so hard that your skin might peel off. Panic flared within you. The stadium lights overhead seemed to swirl.

After Jeremy saw that he hadn't hurt Stefan after all, he scoffed. Like you were just some liar making up stories to make him feel bad. "First Vicki and now this," Jeremy grumbled.

"If you don't want sympathy, fine, but at least apologize!"

"I'm fine," Stefan said gently. "Really."

"Well someone's blood is on me!" You shouted, frustration searing your insides.

"That's nothing new," Jeremy hissed and stormed off. Your sifted through your memories. No. This couldn't be right. You paled. Stefan getting cut was so vivid in your mind. Which meant two things: either he was lying or you were hallucinating. You weren't sure which explanation was worse.

You'd conveniently wiped the blood on your clothes, which were so deep red that you had no way of knowing if blood was on it—at least, you thought you wiped it on your clothes.

"Y/N...what's he talking about?"

You slowly turned around. Bonnie and Caroline were staring at you. Bonnie's eyes were as wide as saucers. Caroline frowned, as if finally seeing you for the first time. Her voice quivered. Fear spasmed in her narrow blue eyes.

"What happened with Vicki?" Bonnie asked. Her voice was barely above a whisper. She looked at you like she'd seen a ghost.

Vicki stood several feet away, her eyes glistening with tears. She looked at you frantically and started to explain, but no one looked at her. All attention was on you.

You shrank beneath their gazes. The horror. The confusion. You'd seen those faces before—on Jenna, Jeremy, and....Ryder.

Under the spotlight, you were swept away in a current of images. The blood you were sure you'd seen on your arm….your mind flashed to the car accident…blood floating in the water…beating Vicki to a pulp until she was coughing off blood…blood splashing on your white hospital gown. “Y/N?” 

"Y/N..." Stefan called out tenderly. He must've seen the panic on your face. You barely heard him over the pounding of your heart.

Your friends' gazes burned into you, demanding answers. Immediately, your brain went into overdrive, trying to think of anything—anything at all—to stop them from probing deeper.

"You need to break up with Damon." The words flew out before you could stop them. Maybe a part of you didn't want to. Caroline blinked out of her shock. Your shame slowly dissolved, but when her confusion morphed into hurt, regret slammed into your gut like a ton of bricks.

"What?" Caroline's voice cracked. Your stomach twisted.

"Care, he's not good for you," You urged, trying to keep your voice steady. "You deserve so much better and-” 

"Just stop."

"Caroline—"

"At least Damon actually wants me around!" Caroline shouted. You pleadingly glanced at Bonnie for support, but she was spaced out, ruminating on Jeremy's outburst. “Admit it, Y/N! You just want us to need you!” 

“That’s not true–” 

“Yes, it is!" Caroline shouted." It’s why you left, isn’t it?”

“I…" You tried to speak but your words faltered. How could you be so stupid? To abandon your friends and expect them to forget? You knew you deserved it—every yell, every insult—and when you'd first come back, you'd wanted Bonnie to hate you. But now that it was happening, your heart tightened in your ribcage. "Caroline...no-” 

“Even Vicki knew you were going," Caroline said bitterly. Angry tears sprung in her eyes. "Vicki. Bonnie and I are your best friends and you left without saying a word. Do you have any idea how that felt? I tried to be understanding because I knew you were going through Hell but I was worried sick about you! Bonnie was losing her mind!” 

“I-I didn’t mean–”

“You didn’t mean what?" Caroline snapped. You stepped back. "To abandon us for the entire summer? Because that’s what you did. And when you came back, we had to find out from your little brother.” 

“I know," You whispered, your eyes clouded with shame. "I messed up. I just…I didn’t know how to approach you. I thought you would’ve moved on-” 

“Moved on?” Caroline repeated, her voice sharp with disbelief. “How could you think we’d just move on?” You had never seen Caroline look so hurt and angry, not even when her dad had suddenly moved out with no warning. Your words failed you. You stood there, frozen in a stunned silence. Caroline scoffed and shook her head. Without another word, she turned on her heel and walked away.

Bonnie peered at you sympathetically...and it only made you feel worse. "You okay, Y/N?" She asked.

“Yeah, um…” You nodded quickly, fighting back tears. “You should, um…you should probably go check on her. She needs a friend.” 

You turned away. Stefan stepped in front of you, his eyes soft with concern. "Hey," He said gently and reached for your hands. His touch felt like an anchor on glass. You pulled back.

"I want to be alone," You whispered, hoping that if you spoke quietly enough, he wouldn't hear the way your voice broke. You didn't wait for a response. You knew he would support you no matter what, but right now, you didn't want pity or kindness. You just wanted to escape.

And so you stalked toward the parking lot, moving as fast as your legs could take you.

Chapter Eighteen

[ajesterwrites]

16. the necklace

summary: stefan gives you something special.

pairings: stefan salvatore x fem! reader

warnings: none

word count: 1.2K

IT WAS FRIDAY NIGHT at Mystic Falls High. That only meant one thing: football.

You'd never been a big fan of the sport. Even as a cheerleader, you hadn't learned the rules or terminology. After all, your job was to lift people from the stands...not study why boys tackled each other and risked head injuries trying to steal an odd-shaped ball (your father had told you about many, many injuries caused on the field).

Even when you were dating Matt, he sensed your disinterest and never tried to explain anything to you. You had a mutual understanding; he scored a home run—erm, touchdown—and you screamed and cheered and danced. Really, it was the perfect dynamic. But this year, things were different.

First, you were no longer dating Matt. Not having him there was..weird, if you were being honest. The two of you had been close your whole life, and this distance was a foreign feeling.

Second, you'd be cheering for Stefan. Of course, you'd save some applause for Matt—he was still a friend, even though it was kind of awkward.

And lastly, you wouldn't be cheering on the sidelines. You'd traded your pompoms for a cold seat on the bleachers.

Everything felt so....new.

You'd told Caroline your decision to quit the cheerleading team. Initially, she'd been confused and slightly neurotic (one less cheerleader an hour before the game was a nightmare)—but once the panic passed, she hugged you tightly, and assured you that there were no hard feelings.

Now, you were walking across the courtyard, which was packed with blood-red jerseys, skirts, and painted faces (talk about school spirit). Your eyes skimmed above the red attire, searching for a friendly face. You wanted to wish the boys good luck and let Bonnie know that you wouldn't be joining her in cheer.

A bright smile caught your attention. Stefan raised his hand and you beamed as you made your way over. "Hey," You greeted cheerfully.

"Hey." Stefan's gaze flicked over your outfit—ripped jeans and a red tank top. Hey, just because you weren't a cheerleader anymore didn't mean you couldn't show support. "What happened? No more cheerleader?"

Your smile widened. "Nope. I quit!"

At first, you were worried that this change would be stressful, but it had the opposite effect. For the first time in months, you felt...free. And while you still weren't sure how to feel about Damon, you had to give credit where it was due.

"I'm going to spend my time cleaning paintbrushes and organizing palettes," You announced.

"A dream come true," He teased. You giggled. It was messy. And you weren't that good at painting. But honestly? It was a dream come true. "I, um..."

Stefan cleared his throat. You gazed at him questioningly. He seemed...nervous. "I hope you don't think this is too soon or too weird but...I wanted to give you this."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small wooden box. He gently flipped the lid, revealing a silver pendant unlike anything you'd ever seen. You carefully picked it up, studying its intricate design. Your eyes shimmered in awe. "Stefan, it's...this is beautiful," You gasped.

Your smile faded. At the festival, you'd already established that you were just friends. But this gift...it seemed like something more. Like something romantic. What did this mean? Was it a symbol of him wanting to take things further? Was it junk that he just wanted to get rid of but couldn't bring himself to sell or throw away? Was it simply a token of your friendship?

Suddenly, the necklace was a delicate reminder that the two of you stood in limbo. You played the charade of friends—innocent smiles, late-night conversations, limitless support—pushing yourself back from anything that could shatter the barrier you'd built. Then he'd do something stupid. Like pull you close and talk about comets. Or hold your hand when Caroline accidentally hurt you. Or give you precious jewelry. He was the sun and you were Icarus. All you could think about was the warmth of his skin against yours, but you knew that if you let him come any closer, the wax on your wings would melt. And the fall would break you.

"I-I can't accept this," You stammered, heat rising to your cheeks. "This is obviously valuable and you-you didn't have to, um-"

Nerves jolted through your body. Had the ground become jello or was that just your legs?

"I wanted to," He said simply. You were making a fool of yourself, and here he was, smiling at you like it was the cutest thing in the world. Your cheeks grew hotter. You tried to stop your own grin from forming, but looking into his kind eyes, it was impossible. "It's something I've had forever and, uh, I've never wanted to give it to anybody until now."

Your lips parted. It was this special?

"I'd very much like it if you'd wear it for me," Stefan continued. For a second, you frowned, wondering why. "For...good luck."

Happiness swept over you—not the kind that made you want to get up and dance, but the kind that filled you with quiet peace. You'd owned tons of jewelry, each with its own unique designs and history, some more extravagant than others. But this? This meant something.

"Of course," You said, smiling hard. "I love it. Thank you."

"Here, let me help," Stefan offered. You returned the necklace and lifted your hair, turning your back to him.

The chain was cool against your skin, but before you could react, his fingers nudged your neck. A shiver ran down your spine. You knew it wasn't on purpose. But still, your breath hitched in your throat. You didn't know if it was your imagination, but you swore his fingers lingered, even when he'd finished clasping the necklace.

Before your mind could wander to places it shouldn't, he spoke again. "And, uh...I wanted to thank you for pushing me to try out for the team. It feels really good."

You hated how much you were smiling. But in his presence, it was impossible to stop. "Don't thank me for always being right," You joked, struggling to ease out of these strange emotions overtaking you. He laughed. The deep, breezy sound made you realize something.

Maybe you were using humor to deflect...but also, you seriously loved his laugh. It wasn't loud or boisterous. But even though noise stemmed from every direction—people wishing the players good luck, footballs thudding across the lawn, cheerleaders shrieking in excitement, music and ringtones creating a cacophony, and the sportscaster's rants blaring through the air—somehow Stefan's laughter was the only thing that mattered.

You realized something else: you were staring. And so was he.

Red jerseys raced past you, headed toward the school. You glanced at your shoes, rubbing the back of your neck. "Uh...you should probably—"

"Yeah," Stefan muttered, blinking into reality.

You gave him a tentative smile. "Good luck."

He nodded, murmured a quick thanks, and jogged after his teammates. As you watched him go, your fingers found the pendant. You bit your lip to suppress a grin and sighed.

Chapter Seventeen

[ajesterwrites]

15. fifth wheel

summary: damon and caroline crash your friendly dinner...and for the first time, you catch a glimpse of damon's past.

pairings: damon salvatore x fem! reader, stefan salvatore x fem! reader

warnings: ptsd, mention of blood

word count: 2.9k

"SURPRISE!"

When you saw who was on your front steps, suddenly you wished it was Sheriff Forbes. Because standing in front of you was the sheriff's daughter, in a sleeveless olive green dress, a scarf draped around her neck, and a red velvet cake in her hands...and behind her was Damon Salvatore. Multiple replies ran through your head, ranging from "What the hell?" and "What the fuck is he doing here?" and "Why are you at my house?"

But the only words that came were "Uh...what?"

"Bonnie said you were doing dinner, so we brought dessert!"

"Hope you don't mind," Damon added. Before you could say that you did, in fact, mind, Caroline strutted inside.

"Um- okay, you can just...put the cake on the counter," You called after her. Even though she and Damon had completely crashed your plans, you found it hard to be annoyed when you'd ghosted her for an entire summer.

"What are you doing here?"

You jumped. You hadn't even heard Stefan coming, but now he was standing at your side, looking oddly alarmed. Damon stepped toward the threshold, staring his brother in the eye. "Waiting for Y/N to invite me in."

Damon looked at you expectantly. You smiled uneasily. "Sure—"

"No, no, no," Stefan quickly interrupted. "He can't stay." Your smile faded. He looked like he was one head-shake away from getting an aneurysm. You furrowed your eyebrows as he met his brother's eyes. "Can you, Damon?"

Locked between them, you felt an odd rush deja vu. Something was happening here. A dangerous game between the two of them, and you had a feeling that Damon was used to scoring. You wanted to know his angle, to show Stefan that he had no reason to be nervous. You could play games too.

Forcing another smile, you grabbed Stefan's arm. His confused eyes met your calculating ones. "It's alright," You murmured. You turned to Damon and cleared your throat. "Come inside, Damon. The more the merrier."

You moved aside. Damon stepped past you. He stopped, taking a look around, and turned. "You have a beautiful home, Y/N." As you thanked him, he gave Stefan a smug look. Stefan's jaw tightened. You winked at him, offering a mischievous smile. Damon didn't know it, but now it was two versus one.

His eyes met yours again, this time almost tauntingly. "I bet being away from it was difficult."

You blinked. "What?"

Damon frowned, as if not understanding the impact of his words. "Caroline mentioned that you...disappeared this summer." You hated the way he said it, the way his eyes seemed to pierce yours, and his taunting smile, like he could uncover all of your secrets with a single look. Secrets. A surge of memories flooded your mind. White halls, white floors, white gowns, white teeth all turning red. Shavings of wood dusting the floor. A glass slipping from your hand, bloodthirsty eyes unraveling the quiet presence you'd tried so hard to keep.

"Y/N," Stefan said softly. You blinked out of your trance. Tears stung your eyes, as if you'd stared at the sun for sixty seconds. Questions and concern stirred in his eyes but you smiled warmly as if nothing had happened.

"Looks like the party's in the living room," You said, noting Caroline's laughter from the next room. "I'll clear the table and meet you there."

Before Stefan could protest, you made your way to the kitchen table. You grabbed each plate carefully, listening for footsteps carefully. When you were sure that the Salvatore brothers left, you placed the plates in the sink and took a deep breath. You're safe now.

"I'm safe now," You whispered. Then you sighed. One point for Damon Salvatore.

~

You almost dreaded joining your guests. Third-wheeling was bad enough but fifth-wheeling?

Besides, with Caroline here, the opportunity for Stefan and Bonnie to quietly bond was thrown completely out of the window. While you sat a little too close to Stefan (when did the couch become so small?), Damon and Caroline practically snuggled in the chair on your left. Bonnie sat comfortably across from them, sipping her cola.

The blonde cheerleader went on and on about different topics—future events, school drama, the ever-rampant rumor mill in Mystic Falls. Damon was only making it worse. You'd never seen Stefan so tense. When Mr. Tanner and Tyler Lockwood were on his back, he shook them off with ease. But something about his brother sent him completely on edge. You tried not to let it worry you—it was his family business, after all. But the way his jaw clenched, he was incredibly quiet even for him, and his entire body locked with tension.

You wanted to reach for his hand...but Caroline's body was covered with eyes. She was already speculating about you two—if you did anything remotely affectionate, the rumors and elation would spin out of control.

“Y/N, didn’t you use to date Tyler?” Caroline asked sweetly. All eyes turned to you. Damon chuckled.

You cleared your throat. Stefan's gaze was thick and expectant. You knew there was no judgment, simply curiosity, but squirmed in your seat. “I wouldn’t say we dated.” You sipped your drink coolly.

“But you banged, right?” 

You choked on your soda. Damon peered at you, amused. Bonnie laughed awkwardly. “Caroline, that’s not…” 

“What? I’m only asking. Y/N doesn’t mind. Do you, Y/N?” 

You kept your eyes on Caroline, your lips stretched in a neutral line. “We kissed. One time. I barely remember it. I guess he didn’t leave much of an impression.” 

“Hm.” Caroline nodded thoughtfully. 

Bonnie's eyes darted between the two of you. She forced a smile. "Hey, Caroline, did you hear about Stefan making the team?"

Caroline's eyes lit up at a new opportunity to gossip.

"I cannot believe that Mr. Tanner let you on the team," The perky blonde babbled excitedly. Between Stefan's stress and your small incident earlier, it was getting increasingly harder to focus. Why couldn't your glass be filed with wine instead of cola? "Oh, Tyler must be seething." She chuckled, as if imagining the look on his face. "But good for you. Go for it."

"That's what I always tell him," Damon interjected. "You have to engage. You can't just sit there and wait for life to come to you. You have to go get it."

Stefan looked like he was going to go get a shotgun and show Damon who's boss.

"Yeah, Y/N wasn't so lucky today," Caroline said semi-sadly. You wondered how on earth this conversation became about you and you hoped it would pass quickly. But when she looked at you, the hope slowly dwindled. "It's only because you missed summer camp. God, I don't know how you're ever going to learn the routines."

"I'll work with her," Bonnie offered, trying to take the heat off of you. "She'll get it."

You gave her a grateful smile. But Caroline didn't seem to get the memo. She tapped her finger on her chin, thinking. "I guess we'll put her in the back..."

Of all the terrible things that had happened this year, failing at cheerleading wasn't exactly your #1 tragedy. You couldn't even really bring yourself to care about the sport, but after leaving Caroline all summer with zero explanation, you couldn't just quit the one interest you both shared. Cheerleading was her life. Even if it was slowly becoming your Hell...you deserved it. Which made it all the worse when Damon commented "Hey, you don't—you don't seem like the cheerleader type, Y/N."

"Oh, it's just 'cause her parents died," Caroline replied. You froze. She had just mentioned the worst thing that'd ever happened to you as if it was the easiest thing in the world. "Yeah. I mean....she's just totally going through a blah phase. She used to be way more fun."

And just like that, your heart cracked into two. "I'm sorry that my parents dying is such an inconvenience for you," You snapped. Your mind buzzed with simmering rage. Your heart thrummed so slowly in your chest, if you hadn't been clearly alive, you would think that it stopped. Caroline opened her mouth to apologize—and maybe she did, but you'd looked away so quickly, your senses clouded with anger that you weren't sure. And to be honest, you didn't care.

A hand slipped into yours, squeezing gently. Cold metal touched your finger. Stefan's ring.

"I'm sorry Y/N," Damon said sympathetically, but his tone was so insincere, you couldn't help but look at him with disbelief. "I know what it's like to lose both your parents. In fact, Stefan and I have watched almost every single person we've ever cared about die."

"We don't have to get into that right now, Damon." As he spoke, his hand tightened around yours. You didn't think he even realized.

Damien sighed innocently. "You know what? You're right, Stefan, I'm sorry. The last thing I wanted to do was bring her up." He chuckled and forced a tight smile as if to say silly me for making that mistake.

The wheels turned in your head. Her. Katherine. You released Stefan's hand without even realizing. Katherine wasn't just some ex-girlfriend...she was his late ex-girlfriend. Even if she'd broken his heart, losing her couldn't have been easy. You remembered the look on his face the first time you'd mentioned her name.

You wondered who else he'd lost. No wonder he was so reserved. All that pain he was carrying...

"It was a long time ago," Stefan whispered after a moment of silence. That's also what he'd said at the festival, as if time healed all wounds.

You nodded slowly. You wished you could read him. Was he angry? Sad? Hurt? Did he even see Katherine's death as a loss? Had he ever? All you knew was that you didn't want to be another wound he'd come to avoid.

"I'm thirsty," Bonnie suddenly announced. "Does anyone want a refill?"

A round of no's scattered across the room. Stefan gave her a small thankful smile. It looked like Operation Bond Stefan and Bonnie was a success.

"That's fine," You said, rising to your feet. "I should be going to bed soon anyway. You guys can talk while I wash dishes."

You'd have enough tension, gossip, and sadness for one night. Breathing alone didn't sound too bad.

But somehow, the kitchen seemed...lonely. The last time you'd had this many people over, laughing over food and drinks...was the night your parents died. Family game night with Jenna. When Jeremy wasn't an addict. Jenna wasn't always frazzled. Of course, your Uncle John hadn't been able to make it as usual. But in your small, happy family, it never felt like anything was missing.

Scrubbing the dishes, you could almost hear the way your mother giggled at your father's stupid jokes. You wished you could reach into your own head and bury your brain in dishwater, scrubbing it clean of all these taunting memories. Memories reminding you of what you'd never have again.

The glass you'd sipped cola in seemed especially fragile in your grasp. Your mother used to use them for every meal because they were "classy." Even though it was kind of ridiculous, she'd insisted that you and your brother deserved the best. Jenna seemed to prefer plastic. Plastic cups meant fewer accidents and fewer memories.

"Hey," A deep voice called out. You stiffened immediately. "Sorry. Did I startle you?"

"A little," You admitted.

"One more," Damon announced, holding up a glass.

"Oh. Thank you." You reached a soapy hand for the glass, but your grip wasn't as tight as you'd expected—as soon as it made contact, the glass slipped through your hand. You gasped quietly, scrambling to catch it, but Damon was quicker. The glass landed perfectly in his hand. You sighed with relief, an airy laugh escaping your lips. "Nice save."

He held the glass to you. You gently reached for it, and accidentally brushed your fingers against his. They rose slightly, almost like your touch had awakened them.

"I like you," Damon remarked teasingly as you returned to washing dishes. "You know how to laugh."

You scoffed, though for the first time that night, you could stand his presence. "Thank you. It's one of my many hidden talents."

"And you make Stefan smile," Damon added, joining you by the sink. He turned on the faucet and started to rinse the dishes. "Which is something I haven't seen in a very long time."

"You mean since Katherine?" You asked hesitantly. He nodded. "I...didn't realize that she died. I assumed they just—"

"Broke up?" He finished. "If only it were that simple."

"How did she die?" You asked, then realized how tasteless that might seem. "If you don't mind me asking."

"Fire," Damon replied flatly. "Tragic fire."

"Recently?" You hoped you weren't pushing his boundaries.

"Well it seems like yesterday."

You paused, instantly forgetting your chore. That was the most sincere thing he'd said since you'd met. You nodded and glanced away, suddenly feeling like you saw too much. Still, you wanted to hear more. This Katherine person seemed important to Stefan. If you were going to understand him, you wanted to know exactly how forbidden this topic was. "What was she like?"

Damon's eyes wandered away. He took only a moment to think before looking back at you. "She was beautiful," He decided. "A lot like you in that department." You forced a smile. Somehow, hearing him talk about his brother's dead ex-girlfriend made it feel kind of rude to roll your eyes. "She was just very complicated. And selfish. And at times, not very kind." You bit your lip. That sounded uncomfortably familiar. "But very sexy and seductive." Okay, that didn't sound familiar.

You went back to washing the very last dish, a golden plate. You couldn't help but notice that while he was speaking, he didn't really maintain eye contact. And the way he described Katherine...

"So..." You drawled, holding out the sud-covered plate. "Which one of you dated her first?"

Damon chuckled, taking the plate from your grasp. "Nicely deduced." He began to rinse it. "Ask Stefan. I'm sure his answer differs from mine." He set the dish in the rack to dry. You frowned. Was it possible that Katherine had gotten between them? Was that why they were feuding?

Damon shook his hands dry. You dipped your hands under the running faucet and did the same. His gaze thickened into your every action. You didn't like how he talked about Stefan...what had Damon done to him? Why was Stefan so...afraid?

You swallowed hard, not wanting to find out, and spun toward the table behind you. A pile of placemats was asking to be folded...and you wanted to put as much distance between you and Damon as possible without seeming rude. Damon didn't seem to get the memo.

"I'd quit cheerleading if I were you." He followed you to the table and sat down. You couldn't tell if that was a threat or a friendly suggestion.

"Why do you say that?"

"Oh I saw you at practice today," Damon said. You remembered seeing him drop Caroline off earlier that afternoon. It'd been so shocking because for once in her anal life, she was late to practice. You might've given Damon a dirty look. Possibly. But you almost regretted it when he said "You looked miserable."

"I was." There was no point in hiding it. Besides, what was Damon going to do? Tell on you? This was the first heart-to-heart the two of you had, and you were planning for it to be the last.

"So why don't you stop?"

You sighed. "I promised myself that I wouldn't change." Openly, at least.

"Well given what you experienced, that seems a little...unrealistic to me."

"It probably is." You chuckled humorlessly. "But, uh...I don't break my promises."

"And what happens if they break you?"

"It won't." You didn't mean for your tone to come out as sharp as it did. Damon didn't seem offended, but he didn't press either. He just smiled, albeit uncomfortably, and nodded.

You watched him for a moment, realizing something that you hadn't before. Beneath the shallow charm and fake smiles must've been a whole lot of pain.

"I'm sorry," You said gently. He frowned. You captured the look of genuine confusion on his face and clarified "About Katherine. You lost her too."

He blinked. Your words seemed almost foreign to him, like he couldn't remember the last time someone expressed sympathy or care for him. He held your gaze, eyes softening. His eyes seemed less like a weapon to uncover someone else's pain and more like a window to reveal his own. You offered a smile, and for once, he seemed speechless.

You hadn't known it then, but one point for you.

~

The rest of the night raced you by. Bonnie had unknowingly interrupted your special moment with Damon...which totally didn't nag at you at all. Afterward, Damon left, probably to torment Stefan, and Caroline joined you in the kitchen. She immediately apologized for being insensitive and with Caroline...well, it was hard to stay mad.

Now, you were drifting off to sleep, exhausted by the night's events. Sleeping was easier than you thought it'd be. It was the dreams that proved to be difficult.

You dreamt that you were sitting on your bed, speaking to Ryder. Seeing him, it was like he never died. He talked to you about nonsense. And then out of nowhere, he leaned forward and kissed you. You welcomed the feeling of his lips on yours, not taking a moment to think. He hovered over you, pressing you against the mattress, and desperately unbuttoned your shirt. But when you pulled apart for air, it wasn't Ryder's face you were looking at.

It was Damon's.

You jolted awake, breathing heavily. "Three," You panted. "Six...nine..." After a few seconds, you caught your breath. What the hell was that? Why were you having dreams about making out with your crush's—uh, your friend's brother? What was wrong with you?

Damon was hot, yes, but you weren't attracted to him. The opposite, actually. No matter how...human he seemed for a minute. You needed to pull yourself together. "It's not real," You murmured. But the sensation of his lips meeting yours....it felt more like a memory than a dream. You'd heard of phantom pain, but phantom makeout sessions? Was that even a thing?

You shook your head and closed your eyes. "It's not real," You whispered. You repeated those words again and again until you drifted off to sleep, unaware of the black crow perched on your windowsill.

Chapter Sixteen

[ajesterwrites]

13. those who can't do...

summary: when mr. tanner tries to send you a message, stefan saves you from embarrassment.

pairings: reader x stefan salvatore

warnings: Mr. Tanner being a dick

word count: 1.1k

As you sat in Mr. Tanner's history lesson, semi-listening to him drone on and on about World War II, you couldn't help but let your mind drift to your conversation with Bonnie. A bad feeling...about Stefan. If Bonnie was a witch and she sensed something dangerous in him, this could be a sign of impending doom. What did Shania call it? An omen. But even if Bonnie wasn't a witch...she'd never had bad feelings about any of the guys you had been with. Why was Stefan different? 

You turned around to glance at Stefan, who was watching Mr. Tanner. He noticed you immediately and smiled. You forced a smile and faced the board but Mr. Tanner had seen your focus shift. One look in his eyes and you knew it was over; he'd found his next victim. 

"Miss Gilbert," He called. You stiffened. All eyes wandered to you. You glanced at Bonnie, who was busy doodling in her journal. The student in front of Bonnie stared at you expectantly. "Well?"

Sweat slid down your palms. Your chest beat so loud you could feel her head pulsing. What had he asked? Something about dates? World War II? But the date of what? The Battle of Midway? The Battle of Stalingrad? The Battle of The Bulge? Was it even a battle? 

"Um-" 

"Um is not an answer." You gulped. He gazed at you with sharp, beady eyes. You wanted to crawl under your desk or flee to the restroom. Any more of this and you might lose it in front of the class. 

It was bad enough dealing with stares all day because of your parents. The last thing you wanted was to be humiliated by a teacher because he wanted to prove that he was done letting you off the hook. Because he wanted to give a message: Last year, I gave you a pass. But now you get no more chances. And you got that message loud and clear. You sighed quietly, preparing to ask him to repeat the question, knowing it would cause more scrutiny and contempt, when a voice cut in. 

"December 7, 1941." 

Mr. Tanner's eyes darted over your head and to the speaker. You slowly turned in your seat. Stefan. He nodded at you. You smiled gratefully. 

"Thank you, Miss Gilbert," Mr. Tanner replied. Loose laughter scattered throughout the classroom. You breathed a sigh of relief, feeling every nerve in your body calm.

"Any time." 

"Very well," said Mr. Tanner. You frowned. Now he was going to humiliate Stefan too. All because he'd saved you from embarrassment. "The fall of the Berlin Wall." 

"1989," Stefan answered without missing a beat. Your eyebrows raised in surprise. He was hot...and sweet...and smart? Stefan smiled modestly. "I'm...good with dates, sir." 

"Are you?" Mr. Tanner asked in an unusually challenging way,  though not out of character for an asshole like him. His eyes wandered and he smiled as he thought of a way to torture his student. "How good?" He met Stefan's stare. "Keep it to the year." 

"Is this really necessary?" You piped up. He was your teacher...his job was to teach you, not humiliate you for his own entertainment. 

"It's alright, Y/N." You met Stefan's reassuring smile with a look of uncertainty.

"Civil Rights Act," Tanner chimed. 

Stefan tore his gaze away from you and looked dead into your teacher's eyes. He took a moment. "1964." 

"Oh," Tanner exhaled with a smirk as if to say that was an easy one. He glanced away, thinking. "John F. Kennedy assassination." 

"1963," Stefan answered, this time without missing a beat. You raised your eyebrows, impressed. It seemed like Stefan had just been warming up, but now...

Tanner blinked. A serious look came to his eyes, all traces of his smug demeanor gone as he watched Stefan with laser-beam focus. "Martin Luther King." 

"68." 

"Lincoln." Tanner stepped close to his student.

"1865." 

You watched in anticipation as they went back and forth. Names of court cases, battles, and wars flew across the room, and Stefan counter-attacked perfectly—the best part was he didn't take a moment to think. In response, Tanner's voice became sharper and quicker, but Stefan deflected with ease. 

"Korean War."

"1950 to 1953." 

"HA!" Mr. Tanner exclaimed, now in front of Stefan's desk, and bending down as if to say in your face. "It ended in '52." 

He chuckled. A few of your classmates hesitantly joined in. You scowled. What the hell was his problem?

Mr. Tanner spun on his heel and charged for his desk with a shit-eating grin. 

"Uh, actually, sir, it was '53," Stefan corrected. Tanner slowly turned around, his smile fading. You glanced between the two of them. If Stefan was wrong...Mr. Tanner would never let him hear the end of it. If Stefan was right, then...unless he kicked some ass on the football team, Tanner would try to make his life a living hell...and get a taste of his own medicine. 

"Somebody look it up," Tanner barked. Textbook pages flipped rapidly. "Hurry up!" 

Jordan, a boy who sat beside you, pulled out his phone. "It was 19...53." 

Now it was your turn to chuckle. You couldn't believe it. Mr Tanner had been out-tannered...by the new kid. You glowed as you met Stefan's eyes. You'd been humiliated, sure, but not more than Mr. Tanner. His heart was made of pure ego...which had just been shattered. A satisfying chorus of oohs sounded throughout the classroom. A round of applause broke out and you clapped the hardest of them all. Stefan tried to fight back a smile as Tanner gazed at him in a stunned, defeated silence. But when he saw you grinning from ear-to-ear, it seemed like Stefan had lost that battle. 

The bell rang. And to you, it was the sound of victory. A perfect way to end this class, You thought. You shoved your belongings in your bag, unlike Stefan, who carefully slid everything inside, and excitedly accompanied him out of the door, not missing the deflated manner that Tanner flopped into his chair. 

"Up top!" You exclaimed, holding up your hand. Stefan reluctantly slapped his palm against yours. You beamed with excitement. "How did you know all that?" 

"Years and years of crossword puzzles," He replied. "It's, uh...a loner thing." 

"Ha ha," You said sarcastically, giving him a pointed look, which he met with a smug smile. You rolled your eyes. "I gotta go catch up with Bonnie for cheer tryouts. Wish me luck!" 

"Good luck!" He called after you as you skipped down the hall.

Chapter Fourteen

[ajesterwrites]

14. three's a crowd

don't mind me experimenting with my first gif 🙈 if anyone knows how to get better quality please lmk 😩

summary: you invite bonnie and stefan to dinner, hoping to bond.

pairings: bonnie bennett x reader, stefan salvatore x reader

warnings: none but I can't wait for things to pick up 😩

word count: 1.5k

PRACTICE went worse than you'd expected.

It seemed like over the summer, you'd lost all sense of rhythm. Even the freshmen managed to stay on the beat. Bonnie, of course, did a wonderful job. She'd been so happy to see you strut onto the field and congratulated you, even after Caroline had kindly suggested that you sit this routine out. You'd obliged, even though it sliced your ego into pieces.

Only two good things had come out of tryouts: firstly, you had successfully convinced Bonnie to attend dinner with you and Stefan; secondly, when you were kicked to the sidelines, you could see that Stefan had taken your advice and decided to try out for the football team. And wow, he was amazing! He'd dodged Tyler with ease, dashing and spinning. No amount of humiliation Mr. Tanner evoked from his students could make him as delighted as he was seeing Stefan kill it on the field. And even though you were having the worst time of your life, you couldn't help but smile. You'd hoped that Stefan could cement his place in the school. Newcomers didn't always have it easy—as seen by Tyler Lockwood's unprovoked treatment—but you knew that Stefan wasn't exactly one to give up.

"Fire!" Bonnie suddenly shouted, breaking you out of your thoughts.

"What?" You murmured. You followed her gaze to see blue flames emerging from the stove, and dropped the pot you'd been holding. You rushed to turn the knob on the stove, barely noticing the clang behind you. The flames dipped down.

Bonnie picked up the pot and inspected it. "The food's safe," She announced.

You chuckled. Ugh, you just wanted tonight to be perfect. You'd never hosted dinner at your house. You'd been at other dinners—namely, ones hosted by your father's colleagues and your mother's fellow committee members, but the Gilberts thought that their home was their haven. They didn't just invite anyone in. It was reserved for family and only their closest friends.

Your parents had tried to teach you the perfect etiquette and preparation, but you failed every lesson. You hadn't made anything homemade (you sucked at cooking—also, this party may have been a tad spontaneous); you didn't preheat the stove properly; and to make up for it, you'd turned the temperature a little too high. Then you had to assemble the perfect outfit that said "I'm a hostess but I'm also just a teen and I really want to impress you guys but I don't want to look like I'm trying too hard." When you finished raiding your closet, you returned to the stove, but you were so preoccupied with your thoughts that you had barely noticed the smoke, even as it stung your eyes.

"What's wrong?" asked Bonnie, setting the fallen pot on the counter. It wasn't like you to be so...tense. You'd always teased Caroline about being so high-strung when planning events, but at least Caroline wasn't so clumsy. She did everything perfectly.

"I'm just nervous is all," You said simply.

Truth be told, your thoughts were killing you. At first, you'd been worried that tonight would be a disaster. You wanted nothing more than for Bonnie and Stefan to bond...but thinking about your friends made you think of all the secrets you were keeping from them. So naturally, your mind wandered to the center...and Ryder. Ryder was the last thing you wanted to think about. What if Bonnie touched you, had a vision, and caught a glimpse of him?

Her powers seemed to be getting stronger. Earlier that evening, she'd told you about a commercial she predicted—which was questionable, to say the least (that commercial was more inescapable than the moon cycle). But then she'd also guessed where the serving spoons were. After Jenna moved in, she'd rearranged things so they were easier to grab. That had to mean something.

But Bonnie refused to speak to her grams. She didn't want real confirmation that she was a witch. It made you wonder if she hadn't described her vision because she loved you, or if it was because she was scared to acknowledge that her powers were real. You hadn't brought it up because you didn't want to give too much information away...what if you admitted to something she hadn't seen and then she saw you as a monster?

The doorbell ripped you from your troubles. "That must be him," You said and took a deep breath. You faced Bonnie, who smiled uneasily. "Remember, just be your normal, loving, non-cold, engaging self."

Bonnie nodded. You rushed to answer the door and swung it open. Stefan awaited with a smile.

~

It only took a few minutes to get situated.

Now the foods were arranged neatly on the table, and everyone filled their plates with the dinner of their choice, but no one said a word. The only noise came from forks clinging against white earthenware and the grandfather clock ticking in the living room.

After sharing the hundredth awkward looks with your guests, you sipped cola from your mom's fancy wineglass and cleared your throat. "Did Tanner give you a hard time today?" You asked Stefan, setting your glass down.

"Well he let me on the team, so..." He chuckled softly. "I must've done something right."

You smiled. Even someone as prideful as Mr. Tanner couldn't pass up a potential star player. Looking at Bonnie, you said, "Bonnie, you should've seen Stefan today! Tyler threw a ball right at him and—"

"Yeah, I heard."

Your smile fell as naturally as it had emerged. Without a word, you reached for your drink, hoping to swallow your sadness and frustrations, and wishing it was liquor. It was like Bonnie wasn't even trying to bond with him.

You'd wanted to invite Caroline but she could be...well, a little too extroverted. While Bonnie was outgoing, she tended to be on the more mellow side, much like Stefan. You'd worried that if you invited Caroline, she'd take over the conversations, leaving little room for Bonnie and Stefan to have a one-on-one.

Stefan lightly tapped his finger against the table. You sighed quietly to yourself. This was a disaster. Your mother must've been rolling in her grave. You tried to think. If you couldn't get Bonnie interested in Stefan, why not do the opposite?

"Bonnie," You tried again. "Why don't you tell Stefan about your family?"

Bonnie blinked and glanced at Stefan. "Um...divorced. No mom. Live with my dad." She chuckled awkwardly.

"No, about the witches," You clarified. Stefan immediately turned his head to you, interest piqued. You bit back a smile. "Bonnie's family has a lineage of witches. It's really cool."

"Cool isn't the word I'd use," Bonnie muttered. You gave her a look. Why had she even agreed to this dinner if she was going to be closed-off the entire time?

You grabbed your plate by the rims, ready to give up and storm off, when Stefan suddenly said "Well, it's certainly interesting. I'm not too versed but I know that there's a history of Celtic Druids that migrated here in the 1800s."

"My family came by way of Salem."

"Really?" He asked. She gave a tight smile. Her eyes darted away from his intense gaze. "Salem witches?"

"Yeah." She laughed softly and looked at her lap. You suddenly felt guilty. Maybe you'd been too harsh. It couldn't have been easy talking about this. While you knew quite a bit about supernatural creatures, she must have felt like a freak. A weird family history and suddenly she was seeing and feeling things that she couldn't explain? With a guy whose presence was causing these feelings? Bonnie must have been so scared. The way her shoulders tensed...how she could barely maintain eye contact. It reminded you of...yourself.

"I would say that's pretty cool," Stefan said kindly.

"Really? Why?" She smiled again, but this time the tension was dulled by genuine curiosity.

"Salem witches are heroic examples of individualism and nonconformity," He explained.

For the first time, Bonnie smiled proudly. "Yeah...they are."

You masked your grin with another sip of cola. Finally, things were working out. Stefan's perspective of witches impressed you—but what was more impressive, how he'd made your best friend feel less freakish and more...confident. You hoped you could see her eyes sparkle like this more in the future when she talked about her family line.

As you set your glass on the counter, the doorbell rang. You frowned, almost forgetting what that sounded like. "I'll get it," You said. "You guys keep talking."

As you rose to your feet, conversation swept over the duo. You headed for the door with tentative steps. Jeremy had his own keys. So did Jenna. Who would randomly show up at this hour? Did Sheriff Forbes have more questions about Ryder? Had she realized that you were holding out on her? Was she going to drag you to the station?

The nerves in your body felt like sand running through your veins. You couldn't even tell if you were breathing anymore. Suddenly, your front door felt like the only thing standing between you and your secrets.

Slowly, you reached for the knob...and flung the door open.

Chapter Fifteen

[ajesterwrites]

12. bonnie's doubt

summary: bonnie has doubts about your friendship with stefan. you catch a glimpse of his secret talent.

pairings: stefan salvatore x fem! reader

warnings: thoughts of death

word count: 2.5k

EVER SINCE your return home, you had one goal: to adapt. You hoped to fill the shoes of your past self and live the way you were supposed to—before the accident that killed your parents and the following events that killed you. So far, you'd been successful. Except for one thing.

You used to love car rides. You loved the windows rolled down, the breeze that carried away your troubles, and the music blasting through the radio. Riding in the backseat of your mom's SUV had been the best part of your day. Then the accident happened.

Now, every time you climbed into a car, you couldn't help but feel your heart drop to the floor. Your lungs would tighten and it felt like you were drowning all over again. It was only when you stepped out that you could fully breathe again.

But as you exited Bonnie's car, the feeling never left you. It'd been a week since Bonnie learned your secret. For the first time since then, you were alone together. Bonnie didn't know the circumstances behind what happened. She didn't even ask. I know you had a good reason, She'd said. Don't tell me if you're not ready.

It'd made you wonder exactly how much she saw.

When she picked you up for school earlier that morning, she'd acted like nothing even happened and segued the conversation to Stefan. Unfortunately for you—but not exactly new to you—Bonnie did not approve.

"I'm not saying don't date the guy," Bonnie was saying, her voice tinted with exasperation. She swung the car door shut. "I'm just saying take it slow."

"I am taking it slow," You argued, trying to look strong. You were out, breathing the air your parents couldn't, but it felt like you were clawing your way to freedom only to fall again and again. Like trying to beg your bleeding parents to unlock the doors, but choking on water every time your lips parted. Your chance at normalcy was slowly waning. But you couldn't think about that. You couldn't think about your parents or your secret. Right now, this was about Stefan. "All we do is talk. And weren't you and Caroline the ones who practically begged me to go for it?"

You leisurely walked across the school lawn. The morning sun beat on your skin, but the crisp November air balanced the heat. "Yes. But now I'm saying take it slow. You're single for the first time in your high school career. It's the perfect time to play the field."

You almost laughed. Play the field? Bonnie had always seemed uncomfortable by you jumping around from guy to guy—the her a year ago would've rejoiced that you finally found a good guy you could trust. "Okay, that's how I know something's wrong."

Bonnie sighed, casting uncertain glances her friend's way. "...It's stupid."

"Then talk to me like I'm an idiot. That shouldn't be too hard," You reasoned, stopping with a shrug and smile. Bonnie gave you an even more tired look and walked faster but you grabbed her arm and pulled her back. "Bonnie."

"Fine."

You smiled triumphantly. She hadn't flinched at your touch. Bonnie didn't hate you. She wasn't afraid of you. She still saw you as the same girl you always were.

Bonnie rolled her eyes at your smug expression. She'd been friends with you long enough to know that arguing with you was a hassle and losing was inevitable. When you wanted something, you got it. Bonnie couldn't tell if that was a blessing or a curse. "I accidentally touched Stefan and I got a really bad feeling."

You stared at her a moment, contemplating the chances of her being a witch. You couldn't ignore the thing with the crow—except a crow did crash into her car the day before. Either way, assuming Bonnie really was...supernatural, this knowledge would only lead to a path of darkness. You had no doubt that Bonnie could become the greatest witch to ever live, but you didn't want a life of suffering for her. Bonnie deserved normalcy. She deserved happiness. Being a witch would take that all away.

"Okay..." You sighed. "Um, a really bad feeling as in 'holy shit I just drank milk and I'm lactose intolerant' or a really bad feeling feeling as in 'Okay I'm psychic now and got a bad vibe'?"

"This isn't about that," Bonnie said dismissively. You frowned with uncertainty but didn't argue. "I'm just concerned. This is me expressing concern about my friend's new....something."

Something. A word so meaningful yet so painfully vague.

You didn't know how to feel about Stefan...you liked him. A lot. More than you'd like any other boy. Ever. He understood your pain...most of it anyway...and more importantly, he understood you. Unlike in your relationship with Matt, who you'd known forever, there was no pressure or expectations. You and Stefan were just two people who'd crashed into orbit.

You could talk for hours and...you couldn't forget how you'd smiled at that first text. But how could you be sure he felt the same way? What did these feelings even mean? It was too early for a romance...there was so much you didn't know about him, except his favorite books and music taste and that he had an unhealthy love for Lucy Ricardo (which was unbelievable—Donna Reid was right there).

During your talk, you'd told him almost everything about yourself...including your incident with Tyler Lockwood in the third grade. You'd even clued him in about your failed relationship with Matt and the few times you'd been picked up by Sheriff Forbes. To you, you and Stefan were more than friends but...definitely less than lovers. Where did that leave you? 

You'd already made it clear at the festival that you didn't want your relationship to go beyond friendship. In a way, that wish was coming true, and you weren't sure whether to be scared or thankful.

"Tell you what," You started, smiling. Even if you liked Stefan, you couldn't fault Bonnie for trying to look out for you. "If you promise to lay off and keep being the super supportive bestie you were when I was dating Matt, I'll continue to take things sloth-level with Stefan. Deal?"

Bonnie looked down at her best friend's extended hand. Reluctantly, she shook it and offered a matching smile. "Deal."

"Good."

"So..." Bonnie said as you strolled around the courtyard, waiting for the day to begin. The hiss of a buss engine and the scent of gasoline cut through the air. "Did you hear about the body in the woods?"

You inhaled sharply. Of course you did. It'd tortured your mind all week, more than you cared to admit. "Yeah, I heard." You didn't mention that you saw the body being rolled away or that you knew who it was. Bonnie had already learned your deepest secret...and if you told her about Ryder, you'd have to tell her so many other things.

"Apparently he's not from here."

You snapped your head up to meet Bonnie's wandering gaze. You narrowed your eyes. Did Bonnie know who Ryder was? Had she seen him when she touched you? Was that why she changed the subject? "How do you know it's a he?"

Bonnie raised her eyebrows in surprise. Then she frowned, recomposing herself. "I didn't. I just...I don't know, them, I guess. Are you okay, Y/N?"

"Fine," You muttered, your cheeks burning with embarrassment. You didn't have the right to be suspicious. If anything, Bonnie should be suspicious of you.

Before Bonnie could pry into your mind, a new voice split through the morning. "Good morning, Y/N," Stefan greeted cheerfully as he approached the duo. You grinned at the sound of his voice...just when you'd thought the day couldn't get any brighter, there he was. In his leather jacket and baggy jeans. And he carried a shoulder bag instead of a backpack—just like you did. You'd never cared about men's fashion before, but God, he looked so hot...which were thoughts you definitely shouldn't be having about your new friend. "Good morning, Bonnie."

Bonnie was careful to avoid his gaze. "Hey, um, I gotta find Caroline," She suddenly said, looking at you. "She's not answering her phone so...I'll catch you guys later."

She scurried away with hunched shoulders. You sighed quietly. Stefan watched Bonnie go and slowly turned to you. "She doesn't like me very much."

"Is it that obvious?" You asked playfully, but that didn't seem to amuse him in the way you hoped it would. "I'm kidding. She just needs time. And a chance to know you like I do. Unless there are more secret siblings that I don't know about?"

"Uh...let me check," Stefan responded.

You laughed. A smile tugged at his lips. "Seriously, I am one hundred percent sure that sooner or later, she is going to love you."

Bonnie was an amicable person. It didn't take much for her to like someone. All she needed was to bond...like you and Stefan did that night on your way to the Grill. It was one of your one-on-ones and set the stage for their future encounters. Suddenly, a lightbulb went off in your mind.

"You know what? Let's make that sooner. Are you free tonight?"

"Yes."

"Perfect," You beamed. "What do you say? Dinner at my place, eight o'clock, just you, me, and Bonnie. Not only will you get to spend some quality time together, but I get to be a third wheel for the first time ever!"

Stefan smiled. "I think that's a great idea."

Your heart fluttered. The way he looked at you when he spoke...he was so calm and understanding. No one had ever looked at you like that...not even Matt. Matt's voice was rough and oftentimes dismissive, even though he had a kind heart. He never really understood you; his goal was only to appease you. He often did things without understanding the meaning behind it. But Stefan...he got it. He smiled like the dinner was as important to him as it was to you.

A glare of light broke you out of your trance. You'd been staring at Stefan like an idiot...not that he seemed to mind. You glanced up at the light—but it wasn't a light. It was a football. And it was flying your way.

Before you could say anything, Stefan spun around. The ball slipped perfectly in his tight grip. You looked at the person who'd thrown it. Unsurprisingly, Tyler was staring at you from across the lawn, shocked. Matt was at his hip, staring at him knowingly as if to say That's what you get. You scoffed. Of course. Reason #587 you and Matt broke up: Tyler Lockwood, the living tool.

Without a word, Stefan returned the football through the air. Tyler caught it, but the force of the toss sent him stumbling back. The surprise on his face made you laugh. You grinned and flipped him off. He opened his mouth to say something, but the first bell screeched across the lawn, making the nearby crows jump into the air and fly away. Your classmates rushed for the door entrance, and you followed them.

"You gotta teach me where you learned that," You said to Stefan as you sauntered down the hallways to history class. It was like he'd felt the air of the ball coming toward him—you'd never seen anything like it. Those instincts...for a human, they were so unnatural...and quite impressive.

"Oh that's just beginner stuff."

You scoffed, astonished by his humility. Tyler Lockwood was a terrible person, yes, but he had an arm like no other football player, despite the countless fights he'd been in. And Stefan had a way better throw than Tyler did.  "You're being modest. Not only did you feel that like a friggin psychic, but that throw was insane! I didn't know you played football."

"I used to. It was a long time ago."

The way he said it sounded so...depressing. How could he sound so down when he had a reputation to look forward to? You could see it already: Stefan Salvatore, Mystic Fall's star football player. He had the looks, the charm, the skill. If he wanted, he could be the most popular guy in school. But it seemed like he didn't want that...which only intrigued you. "Why don't you try out for the team?"

"Yeah.... I don't think so."

"So you don't like football?" You asked, confused. You opened your locker to load your history textbooks into your bag. As soon as you slipped the book inside, your shoulder ached.

"No, I love football," Stefan said, leaning against the corner of the wall. That was one upside to your locker being at the end of the hall: you never worried about disturbing anyone when you were with a friend. That and it was so much easier to get to class when the bell rang. "I think it's a great sport. But in this case, I don't think football likes me."

"Are you talking about Tyler?" You scoffed. "He's a dick to everyone...except Matt, I think. Wait, no. He's a dick to him too." After all, what kind of person would kiss his best friend's ex-girlfriend? You had been drunk out of your mind trying to cope with your parents' deaths. You could barely stand up straight. And there Tipsy Tyler was, ready to swoop you away, post your very fresh breakup with Matt. Maybe you were both terrible people.

Stefan smiled uncomfortably. "Well, we both know how Matt feels."

"Matt will get over it once he sees how amazing you are," You replied, waving away his concerns. He wasn't in a good place now...the breakup had definitely taken a toll on his sensitive heart. But Stefan was great. And he and Matt could be great friends if not for you. "And what better way to show him than score a home run in his favorite sport?"

Stefan fought back a laugh. "Touchdown."

"...Sure," You responded. You were never one to catch up with all these sports terminology. The only sports you had ever enjoyed playing were soccer and tennis, mostly because it involved hitting stuff as hard as you wanted. "You just gotta break out of your shell, show them you're more than mysterious loner guy."

"Says the girl who spends her alone time writing in a cemetery," Stefan pointed out teasingly.

Your mouth dropped open in mock pain. "Okay, that was a personal attack. Just for that comment, I'm ignoring your existence for a week."

You slammed your locker shut and strolled away with your nose in the air. Stefan's laughter rang behind you, which brought a grin to your face. "Oh come on, don't be like that." You kept walking. "Y/N? Y/N, come back!"

You giggled as he caught up to you. He rolled his eyes playfully, but the laughter that followed was enough to make even the heaviest souls find peace.

Chapter Thirteen

[ajesterwrites]

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[ajesterwrites]

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uhhhh no ❤️

[ajesterwrites]

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[ajesterwrites]

11. harbinger of heartbreak

summary: At the festival, you have a moment with Stefan that is overshadowed by your brutal reality...but more heartbreaks await.

pairings: stefan salvatore x reader

warnings: none, just pure emotions

word count: 4.2K

NEARLY ALL OF MYSTIC FALLS packed the Town Square, excited to participate in the Night of the Comet Festival. Your dress swung in the biting wind, which your leather jacket shielded you from.

"Do you see Bonnie anywhere?" Caroline asked loudly, standing on her tiptoes, her eyes flitting around the square. You shook your head. She sighed. "I'm going inside to call her. Be right back."

She walked away. You fixed your jacket collar and looked around for familiar faces, wishing your friend stayed beside you as you awkwardly shuffled through the crowd. A relieved smile tugged at your lips when you noticed Matt walking in your direction. "Hey."

"Hey," He greeted softly and tilted his candle forwards. The flames hit the ends of your stem, lighting it up.

You looked up at him, smiling, and he couldn't help but notice the mischievous gleam sparkling in your eyes. He hadn't seen that in months. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," He replied, returning the smile. You turned to light the candle beside you. You had no intention of looking at the holder until you saw the hand grasping the candle, or rather the ring around one of his fingers.

"Thank you." Frowning, you lifted your head to meet Stefan's gaze. He smiled and leaned forward. "Hi."

"H-Hi," You stuttered and quickly turned, not ready to face him just yet. You'd had a moment of clarity on your way to the festival. You'd realize how impulsive it'd been for you to pursue him. That sort of impulsivity was something the old you excelled in...but had abandoned to survive. That wasn't you anymore. No matter how badly you wanted it to be.

You'd expected Stefan to realize that you were a lost cause and leave. Dead weight. You were never going to be more than friends; you were never even going to be best friends, because you couldn't open your heart up anymore. Only those you'd loved before the accident had passage. And Stefan, unfortunately, didn't fit that requirement.

But you'd forgotten one thing: Stefan Salvatore defied expectations. You hadn't realized your miscalculation until you felt his body heat tangle with yours, doing more than your jacket ever could.

"You know, that comet..." He whispered in your ear. His breath caressed your neck. You immediately tensed, but every nerve in your body screamed at you to stay still. "It's been traveling across space for thousands of years. All alone."

You wanted to raise your eyebrow and say something like "When did 17-year-olds become so deep?" but your face was suddenly frozen and your voice lost. You craned your neck to gaze at him as he watched the passing comet. He was serious. You looked at the sky, the comet descending. It looked like blue magic in the sky, a kind of beauty that only nature could produce.

"It's a ball of snow and ice, trapped on a path that it can't escape." He continued. "And once every one hundred and forty-five years, it gets to come home."

You cleared your throat. You couldn't let him see you like...this.

"Really?" You asked, squinting. "All I see is a comet."

Stefan smiled. You were trying to be funny, but you'd never thought of something so...beautiful. And poetic. How many times had you walked by nature, unaware of the depth and loneliness that lived within? And if it was so easy for Stefan to see this in an inanimate object...how easy would it be for him to see right through you?

His voice was a gentle disruption. "I'm sorry about yesterday. I wasn't myself."

"It's okay, I get it," You said and turned to face him. "Family makes you cranky. If it makes you feel any better, half of the time I wanna murder my own brother."

"You mean the junkie?"

You chuckled. "That would be the one." The grave look in Stefan's eyes wiped the smile clean off your face. You sighed. "Look, your brother told me about your ex, Katherine."

You could almost feel his heart stop. You didn't know what the big deal was—everyone had exes, so what made Katherine so different?But clearly, you'd gotten his full attention, which was evident by his deep frown and contemplative silence.

"What did he say?"

"That she broke your heart."

"...That was a long time ago."

You nodded. "Okay. And even if it wasn't, you don't owe me anything. We all have our heartbreaks or things of the past that we just don't talk about. I don't expect you to tell me everything. It's not like we're dating. I mean, we're just friends. Right?"

For a moment, bewilderment painted his face. Then he forced a smile. "Um, right."

He cleared his throat and stepped back. You both looked away from each other at the same time. Your entire face warmed out of embarrassment. Where the hell was Caroline?

"I'm going to find Bonnie," You informed him. You'd been standing here long enough. "It was nice talking to you, Stefan. Enjoy the rest of the festival."

You offered him a tight-lipped smile and walked away. So much for going back to normal, you thought, going inside The Grill for a drink. If were charming enough, perhaps the bartender would let your age slide and hook you up.

"Oh there you are!" Caroline exclaimed, grabbing your elbow. Bonnie was at her hip, and she could barely look at you. "We were just saying how...what's wrong with you?"

"It's nothing, Caroline." You shrugged out of the blonde's grasp.

Caroline crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow as she gave you a disbelieving expression. "It doesn't look like nothing."

Normally, you weren't one to care or really notice if something was wrong. You'd spent two months concealing your emotions. And there was no way in hell you could be losing your edge now, not when you needed it the most.

"Just drop it," You muttered. Even if you couldn't lie, you could still avoid the subject.

"So did you talk to Stefan?"

"Yeah it went great," You deadpanned. "The skies parted and it was Heaven on Earth."

"That bad, huh?" Bonnie asked.

"Yep. And I think I may have made things worse."

Bonnie gave you a sympathetic half-smile. "Are you okay?" She questioned tenderly.

"I'm great," You lied. "I don't really want to talk about it. Can we go inside? Did you guys light your candles yet?"

"Yep. Caroline basically dragged me through the place in search of Sexy Bar Guy but he's a no-show."

"Well, then I have spectacular news," You announced with a joyous grin. "It turns out that our mystery guy is actually Stefan's older brother. His name is Damon."

"Oh my god!" Caroline shrieked with widened eyes. "The leather, the eyes, the hair...It all makes sense!"

"How?" Bonnie asked. "From what you described they don't look anything alike."

You nodded. "They really don't. Maybe one is adopted. Or they're half-siblings? That could explain all the tension."

The friends gave a chorus of agreement as they approached Matt and Tyler, who were chatting at a table. You took the seat next to Tyler, deciding it best to avoid Matt so he wouldn't pick up the wrong vibe from you, and the former watched as you rested beside him.

"Gilbert," He greeted nonchalantly before taking a sip of his drink. You glanced at the plate before him. Whatever food used to be there had been wolfed down, leaving nothing but a pile of bones. It seemed that Bonnie's food was popular with a certain someone.

You forced a smile. "Lockwood."

Ever since you'd shared a drunken kiss (and more) at a party a couple months ago, you'd had quite a fragile relationship. Of course, that didn't stop him from picking on your brother when given the chance, but your history was wild enough for him to know not to screw up in front of you.

"Hey, has anyone seen Vicki?" Jeremy suddenly asked as he advanced toward the table, his eyes searching elsewhere for his...friend. You stiffened. You'd thought they'd stop hanging out after...well, after their inappropriate "fling" to put it lightly.

Tyler looked at Jeremy with narrowed eyes, seemingly unbothered by his girlfriend's disappearance. "You're her stalker, you tell us," He commented.

You rolled your eyes. "Come on, Jer, you know how she is." Much like her mother, she had a tendency to disappear. You wished that she would disappear from Jeremy's mind, but that seemed to be a work in progress. Oh, well. If Vicki wanted to mess around, fine, but she was well aware that you didn't pull her punches.

"She probably found somebody else to party with," Tyler added. "Sorry, pill pusher, I guess you've been replaced."

You frowned. "What?"

"She's never going to go for you," Tyler continued, ignoring your confusion.

"Hold on... "

"She already did," Jeremy practically spat. Fury blazed in his eyes. "Over and over and over again."

Tyler scoffed. "Yeah, right."

"You slept with Vicki Donovan?" Caroline asked, giving a scoff-like chuckle as if it were the most amusing story she'd heard all year. "I mean, Vicki Donovan slept with you?"

"There's no way," Tyler said, shaking his head with disbelief. If only he knew.

Jeremy leaned down with cold, hard eyes. "And I didn't even have to force her into it."

"What the hell is he talking about, Ty?" Matt asked. A scarily wide smile lingered on his face, but he seemed more pissed off than surprised.

"Nothing man, just ignore him, he's a punk."

"Don't talk about my brother like that," You snapped. You thought he would've known better but it seemed like he needed to be taught twice.

However, Tyler didn't seem fazed. With an arrogant smile, he leaned in. "Yeah? And what are you gonna do about it?"

"Keep talking and you'll find out."

Matt set his drink on the table, gentler than a slam but loud enough to get their attention. "You know what, how about all of you shut up and help me find my sister?"

Caroline laughed, nodding in agreement. "Yeah we don't want Ty's nose to get broken again. It was hardly a good look the first time."

"We'll check the back," Bonnie proposed, already getting off the stool. Everyone wordlessly agreed to ignore Caroline's remark, except you. You snickered, remembering how that well-deserved punch damaged Tyler's reputation when you were kids. It had been a dark time for him.

"I'll check the square," Matt announced to the group.

"I'll come with you," Jeremy offered.

"No, you won't," You spoke up. "Matt, go. Jeremy stays with me."

Matt nodded. He recognized the look on your face—everyone did. You were the pure embodiment of calm before the storm.

So with that being said, the teens dispersed with hopes of finding their sort-of missing friend.

"Really?" Jeremy asked irritably as he watched them go. He turned to his sister. "You wanna do this right now?"

"You said it only happened once, Jeremy."

"It did," He scoffed. "Then again. And again."

Hot rage flashed in your eyes. Jeremy deserved better than this. Vicki was too old and quite frankly, too messed up to ever be with him. "Have you lost your mind?" You seethed. "It's bad enough that you're taking drugs but you're selling them too? And don't get me started on whatever the hell is going on with you and Vicki. She's eighteen, Jeremy. And she's only using you to get high."

Jeremy rolled his eyes but you kept going. "What she's doing is wrong. And insane."

"Says the one that got sent to a mental institution," He snapped. You flinched. Your jaw dropped before you could even process the movement. "Yeah, do you honestly think that what you did to her just slipped my mind?"

You recomposed yourself. You'd been firm...maybe you could be a little more benign. Breaking his defenses was impossible. So the best course of action would be to prevent them from ever activating in the first place.

"I think that losing yourself isn't going to bring Mom and Dad back. I think you're ruining your life by making stupid decisions and if you keep going at this rate, you'll get an early grave right next to theirs."

"Good. Then I won't be your problem anymore."

He tried to turn, but you gripped his arm, forcing him to face you. "Why won't you talk to me?" You demanded. You were starting to outrun your patience. When would he understand that you wanted the best for him? You weren't his enemy. But ever since your parents died, he'd treated you like he was an innocent prince and you were a sword-wielding maniac.

"You won't talk to me," He retorted.

"But I'm talking to someone," You pointed out. "I'm dealing with this in a healthy way-"

Jeremy scoffed. Between him and Caroline, the sound was starting to annoy you senseless. "Yeah right."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I see you. Every day writing in the cemetery. You call that healthy? What, is that supposed to be you moving on? Huh?"

Empty rebuttals hung on your tongue.

There was no use. You tried. You really did. You never asked him to move on. You never asked him to forget. All you wanted was for him to heal. For him to be better than you were. For him to have a chance at happiness. But Jeremy, oblivious to the full damage behind his words, scoffed once more at your paralysis. "That's what I thought. I'll see you at home."

And with that, he walked away.

You contemplated going after him, to apologize or lend a helping hand with the search, but after a moment of consideration, you decided the best thing to do was to head home.

◇◇◇

When you stepped into your house, the last thing you expected was to see your aunt imitating a burglar.

But alas there Jenna was, rummaging through Jeremy's things and tossing it around as if she were completely done with life.

"Jenna?" You called out, frowning as your aunt flipped through a bunch of porno magazines. You winced, wondering how she'd react when she found the lightsaber you'd bought for him with your mom's stolen credit card last year.

Jenna didn't look up. A bitter response rolled past her lips. "Yep it's me, the hypocrite patrol." She tossed the magazines in the basket where she'd found them but didn't bother to cover it back up with the layers of clothing that were scattered on the floor. "Remind me to burn those later."

You smiled uneasily. It was from your aunt that you adopted your sense of humor, but now she looked like a flimsy yarn sweater that someone yanked the string on. "You're not having a psychotic break, are you?"

"Surprisingly, no," Jenna answered, finally glancing up at her concerned niece as she stood up.

"What happened?"

"Your ass-hat of a history teacher shamed me good yesterday."

"Damn. You got Tannered," You commented, saying a phrase former students had coined to describe their teacher's manipulative and crude techniques. "Don't worry, it happens to the best of us."

"'Discover the impossible, Ms. Sommers'," Jenna quoted, her octave rising with each word. It sounded like she was trying to get the words out before she choked on them. "Got it. Thanks. Like I didn't know I was screwing up."

"You're not," You assured her gently, grabbing her hand. You helped her up and plopped yourselves on Jeremy's bed, facing each other. You cringed at the empty chip bags and crumbs on his blanket. Note to self: Tell Jeremy to clean his room.

"Yes, I am," Jenna exhaled. "And you know why? Because I'm not her."

Her. Miranda Gilbert. Your mother and Jenna's sister. It was hard enough being the crackhead example that could never do anything right, the screw-up who was constantly being compared to her older, more perfect sister who excelled in every aspect of her life. And now she had to dive into parenthood, the one thing she most definitely couldn't do.

Five months ago, she could barely get her own life on track. And now she had to take care of not one, but two human beings that hadn't fully developed? That could pick up her habits, that she could screw up mentally with just a single move?

"She made everything look so easy," Jenna went on, exhausted. You couldn't tell if it was because she was tired of life or because she was using every bit of resistance to fight her tears. Perhaps it was both. "You know, high school, marriage...having you. I can't do it. I'm gonna say or do the wrong thing, and he's gonna get worse, and it's gonna be my fault. It's impossible."

You sighed. You'd been trained not to comfort people in times of crisis, but now you were free to say the things that you wished someone had said to you. Maybe if they had, you wouldn't be so broken and scarred.

"Hard...but not impossible," You said soothingly. "I know you're scared, tackling a new life. But this is new for all of us. We're all going through this together and it might feel like you're alone but you're not. You're just the only one being honest with yourself."

"How am I supposed to do this?" Jenna lamented, her beautiful emeralds reflecting sadness as she thought of Miranda, the woman who could do it all. "John was right. How am I supposed to be a parent?"

"I don't know, Aunt Jenna," You admitted. "But what I do know is that as a kid, I looked up to you. You were my idol, my favorite person in the entire world. I used to talk about you like you were a superhero. Remember that one time I dressed up as you for Halloween and I had to convince everyone I wasn't a sexy version of Daphne Blake?"

Jenna burst into laughter as she recalled the look on Miranda's face when you'd darted downstairs, dripping with sparkles and diamonds and of course, revealed skin to really get into character. "I remember that. Your mother was absolutely horrified—she didn't talk to me for a month after that."

"She could be like that sometimes, yeah." At the time, you had been offended, but the things you'd do to see her mother in such a disturbed condition again. The last memory you had of your mother was her screams rippling through the water. You took a deep breath, switching off the memory and refocusing on Jenna.

"There's a reason I held you in such high esteem. It's not because of the things you did, it's because you always had the strength and courage to do them even if you doubted yourself. When Mom and Dad died, Uncle John didn't step up. You did. Even though you didn't know the first thing about being a parent. We were all scared out of our minds and you got us through that. And I know you didn't get the chance to grieve properly or the luxury of falling apart because you were so hell-bent on keeping Jer and I together but...you're brave. And you're strong. And I'm extremely grateful for that, but it's okay to be vulnerable too."

It's okay to be vulnerable too. If someone had told you that you had the right to feel in the trauma center, that your emotions were yours and they were valid, perhaps you could do the things you wanted in life.

Like tell Bonnie and Caroline that you went to a trauma center. Like tell Jenna that the trauma center wasn't a place of healing and recovery; it was Hell. Like tell Stefan that you liked him, of course you liked him, and even though you didn't know what it entailed, you were willing to find out with him.

But you couldn't be open. You couldn't let anyone see the deep sadness you locked away. Letting your vulnerabilities run wild made you feel alive, but turning it off helped you survive. And you'd often had to ask yourself which was more important. But with Jenna, it was a no-brainer. You didn't want her to be anything like you. You couldn't let anyone get hurt at your expense; what was the point in surviving if you couldn't protect the ones you loved?

"So be vulnerable," You urged softly. "Let your guard down. Go go watch Titanic a million times and cry your eyes out until you fall asleep."

Jenna sniffled. "But it's a school night."

You fought back a grin. "Go, Jenna. Jeremy will be here soon, I'll make sure he doesn't get into anything."

Jenna looked into her niece's eyes. And for once, it was almost like she could really see you. Everything you'd been through, the things you'd turned into because of it. But within a moment, the perception vanished. "I love you, Y/N."

"I love you too, Aunt Jenna," You said, pulling your aunt into a warm embrace. Jenna smiled and kissed your forehead in a motherly gesture, before rising to your feet and strutting out.

You exhaled. The moment Jenna, the strongest woman you knew, broke, was the moment you were entirely done for. You stood up and glanced around the room. Vicki was always high, drunk, or both, and even her room was cleaner than this.

Entangled in your overbearing thoughts of Jenna and Holly and the trauma center, you shuffled around the room, fetching Jeremy's smelly clothes and tossing them in a hamper accordingly. You snatched the blankets off the mattress and whisked them to the laundry room, wondering how Jeremy could survive this long without any sense of purpose and hygiene.

As you strolled through the halls, a faint chime interrupted your thoughts. You pulled your phone from your pocket, expecting to see news about Vicki, but instead found yourself looking at an unknown contact flashing across your screen.

UNKNOWN

Hi.

YOU

hi...who is this?

UNKNOWN

Hot back guy.

A feeling stirred in your stomach...like someone had released a butterfly and it was trying to get loose. Before you could stop yourself, an exhilarated giggle escaped you. Stefan.

YOU

how did u get my number?

STEFAN

Bonnie gave it me. She told me you were big on texting.

You didn't think it was possible for your smile to grow any wider, but the mention of your friend was enough to make you look like the cheshire cat. The logical side of you wanted to scold Bonnie for this. You knew that letting Stefan in could lead to no good. You'd cut the more-than-friendship rope before it'd fully tied you together because you refused to let him see you. But...another part of you wanted to jump up and down and shout "Bonnie, God bless your soul, you are the wingwoman of all time!"

YOU

I am.

There was a pause. Your grin faded...was he typing? Thinking about what he'd say next? Regretting ever texting you in the first place? It would be for the best...but you hoped he'd make things worse.

STEFAN

Y/N?

YOU

yeah?

STEFAN

I don't think you're selfish. And for the record, I like you too.

You bit your lip, struggling to hold back another smile, but found you couldn't stop yourself from the small expression of happiness. You didn't want to.

YOU

gn stefan :)

STEFAN

Good night, Y/N.

You turned off your phone, laughing, and practically skipped to your room. Romantically, you'd never felt so strongly for anyone, not even Matt. This was something new and exciting.

Singing to yourself, you floated to your room, ready to flop into bed and have pleasant dreams for once. But once you saw the silhouette by the balcony window, you felt as if you were in a living nightmare. Your breath caught in your throat.

He's here.

Your heart raced, threatening to pump straight through your skin. You took a small breath and flipped on the lights, expecting to see a slender, innocent-looking man with curious, murderous eyes. But your eyebrows flew up when you realized who you were looking at.

"Bonnie?"

Bonnie grimaced, a pool of tears in her eyes. "I know, Y/N," She admitted in a broken whisper. Your heart plummeted to your feet. You shook your head. It was as if someone had torn the wooden planks from beneath you. You leaned against the doorway entrance for support, praying this was all a dream.

"No..." Not her—anyone but her. Anyone but your best friend.

A stray tear rolled down Bonnie's face. It was almost as if just talking about it hurt her. And you understood—it hurt you too. Every day. "I know what you did."

This can't be happening, you wanted to scream. Suddenly, you wished he'd come. Anything was better than this. Anything was better than Bonnie knowing. But you didn't say that. Instead, the next words that slipped out of your mouth were, "You can't tell Caroline."

Chapter Twelve

[ajesterwrites]

10. the fashionable miss forbes

summary: while bonnie pulls back, you and caroline get some alone time. sheriff forbes delivers devastating news.

pairings: caroline forbes x reader (platonic)

warnings: mention of death

word count: 2.7K

"TONIGHT, night of the comet! Would you like a program?" Bonnie recited, handing a flyer to a passing group of strangers as she, you, and Caroline strolled down the sidewalk. You scanned the flyer, wondering why on Earth you even needed it. It was all anyone had talked about for the past week. Vicki had been attacked. Ryder could be dead. And all this town cared about was this stupid festival. Bonnie glanced at you. "He didn't call, huh?"

"If by him you mean Stefan, then yes," You confirmed. You hadn't spoken all day either. You weren't sure why you were disappointed. Sure, you hit it off, but that didn't mean they had something. He was your friend, and you were delusional. "And I was wondering why until I realized that during our eight-hour talk session, I never even gave him my number."

"That's an important milestone in any relationship."

"Well, you know me," You shrugged. "I'm not a milestone kind of person."

Bonnie laughed. "What are you talking about? You used to document everything. Like that time you taped weed against one of the pages in your scrapbook?"

"I did that?" You asked, frowning. All the time in the trauma center must have screwed with a few of your memories. If only you could forget the memories of the center.

"You don't remember? Your parents freaked!" Bonnie exclaimed, and you giggled, but soon her smile faded. "Look. Caroline and I are worried about you. Ever since you've come back, you've been acting... not like yourself."

"What do you mean?"

"It's just..." Bonnie sighed. "I've never even seen you pick up a sketchbook until yesterday. You love to cook, I remember we used to try out different recipes all the time even though you were terrible at it. And you and Vicki always fought when you were sober, but at the end of the day, you two were good friends."

"What are you saying?"

"That you've changed." Bonnie confessed, smiling sadly. "Y/N...what happened to you?"

The pitiful look on her face was lethal. You nearly winced, but kept your composure and shrugged. "Nothing happened," You assured her but it didn't alleviate your friend's concern the way you hoped it would. "I mean it. Nothing happened, okay?"

"Alright," Bonnie replied reluctantly. "But if you ever need someone to talk to, we're all here for you."

"I know," You said, giving her a fond smile. Bonnie happily returned the gesture and grabbed your shoulder comfortingly. You handed a flyer to a passerby, hardly noticing how quickly Bonnie snatched her hand away, as if she'd touched the steam from a kettle.

You noticed Caroline across the lawn, a flirtatious grin on her face as she stalked towards someone. You followed the determined blonde's gaze but frowned when you realized no one was there—at least no one who seemed to be interested or even aware. You glanced back at Caroline, who appeared to be as lost as you. What the-?

"Care, you alright?"

"What?" Caroline's head snapped in your direction. She blinked into reality and faked a smile before joining the pair. "Yeah, I'm fine. So what are you two going on about?"

"I have to go," Bonnie blurted out. Before either girl could say anything, she spun around and rushed away, stealing a frightened look at you. You tilted your head to the side. What was that all about?

Caroline faced you, furrowing her eyebrows. "What's going on with her?"

"I'm not sure." Bonnie seemed...afraid of you. But she had no reason to be, right? What you had done to her? Unless...

Unless she saw something. What if she really was a witch? What if she had psychic powers and could see into your head? But...no. That was absurd. Just because her ancestors were from Salem didn't mean she was psychic. Bonnie's reaction could be due to a number of factors, factors which didn't even include you. It wasn't personal. It surely felt personal...but feelings weren't always the best judgment. It wasn't like Bonnie was the most forthcoming about her home life.

Within seconds, Caroline confused expression flipped into a dazzling smile. "So I was thinking, since tonight's a very special night and Stefan's going to be there, I should do your hair and makeup."

"Caroline, I am not going to let you come anywhere near me with a curling or flat iron."

"But-"

"Last time, you almost burned my eyebrow off!"

"I was seven!" Caroline exclaimed, and you shook your head. "Fine! But at least let me pick out your outfit."

You opened your mouth to protest but quickly snapped it back shut. It'll be our first one-on-one since I came back, you thought. And it's a step towards normalcy.

Caroline stared at you with anticipation. You looked into her wide, excited eyes and sighed. "I have two conditions," You decided. "The first is I will not look like anything between the lines of prom queen or hooker."

"Done!" Caroline declared. "And the second?"

"The jacket stays."

You extended your hand. Smiling, Caroline gave it a light shake. "Deal."

◇◇◇

You threw yourself on the cloud-like blankets, sinking in the refreshing fluff. You were wearing nothing but a bra and shorts, and your body felt so much lighter. It'd been a while since you'd visited the Forbes household but God, had you missed it. You suddenly remembered the secret to your sleepovers; you had the best movies and Bonnie had the best snacks, but Caroline had the best blankets.

"How's this?" Caroline asked, holding up a yellow sundress. You were currently in her bedroom, picking out an outfit. Unfortunately, you weren't making it very easy. Over the past hour, your complaints had been that the dresses were too flashy, too short, too long, too spotty—the last one was "too sporty." Caroline didn't even know what that meant!

You pulled herself from bed heaven and stared at the dress in front of her. It was pretty...for a cowgirl living in the countryside, maybe. You shook your head. "Too bright."

Caroline sighed exasperatedly. "Okay, really?" You had always been rather difficult to dress, but this was just ridiculous. It was one dress! For one night!

"What?" You asked with an innocent laugh. Caroline rolled her eyes and stuffed the dress back between a million others.

You peered into the closet, inspecting the array of colors and fabrics. It was like a shopping mall in there. Or the rainbow Dorothy sang about. You perked up when you caught a glimpse of black silk. "Wait is that my jumpsuit? I've been looking all over for that!"

Caroline raised an eyebrow, giving you a judgmental stare. "You wanna wear that with a leather jacket?"

"Fine, how about that?" You pointed at a small blue, black, and white checkered dress. It was subtle, casual, short but not too short, and it mixed well with leather.

"Plaid?" Caroline asked skeptically. She'd never known you to wear plaid. In fact, that was one of the few things only she and Bonnie had in common. Caroline was pretty sure she'd borrowed that dress from Bonnie junior year, actually.

"Would you rather have me wear the jumpsuit?"

"Plaid it is," Caroline replied instantly and pulled it off the rack. You took it from her hands and pulled it on. Caroline sized you up and down as she smoothed out the wrinkles with her hands. "Hm...It's missing something."

Caroline beelined for her drawer. After a minute of rummaging through her belongings, she came across what she was looking for: a pair of golden hoops. "Here."

You rubbed them between your fingers, inspecting them carefully. They were hard spirals. Probably not too tough. Made of cheap nickel or aluminum. Just like the ones...

"Y/N?"

Just like the ones your mother used to wear. You smiled, raising your head to meet Caroline's concerned eyes. "They're beautiful. Thanks, Care."

Caroline returned the smile, unaware of the context, but knowing there was something deeper going on. Knock, knock.

"Ugh Mom, I have company!" She shouted at the door, rolling her eyes. The door was gently pushed open to reveal none other than Sheriff Forbes. She was still in uniform—you couldn't recall ever seeing her without it. When she saw you, her eyebrows quirked in surprise.

"Y/N," She greeted merrily, a light smile gracing her lips. "I thought I heard you...I didn't know you were stopping by."

You nodded cordially. "Caroline's just helping me get ready for the festival."

"Oh..." Sheriff Forbes seemed to ponder something for a moment.

"Do you need something?" Caroline snapped. It was no secret that Caroline and her mother didn't get along. Ever since her dad left them after coming out as gay, all Caroline had was her mom...but it seemed like all Sheriff Forbes had was her job.

Sheriff Forbes cleared her throat. "Well, since you're here, do you mind if I speak with you for a moment?"

Your heart thumped. Speak with you? About what? You'd already told Sheriff Forbes everything you knew...well, everything you knew at the time. It's not like you could tell her that Ryder was a vampire and he might have assaulted Vicki.

"Really, Mom?"

You forced a smile. It would look worse if you didn't cooperate. Plus, you'd known Sheriff Forbes almost your whole life. You couldn't say she was trustworthy for sure, but you did have history. "It's okay, Caroline. I'll be back in a minute."

Caroline groaned. "Fine, whatever, just hurry up!"

"I will, I promise." You held out your pinky finger. Caroline scoffed but interlocked pinkies. Sheriff Forbes glowed at your interaction. Caroline crossed her arms as her mom and best friend walked out.

"Let's go to the kitchen," Sheriff Forbes suggested. You followed after her, glancing around the hall. Everything looked the same. Polished wooden floors. Olive green walls. Darker than Holly's eyes but full of charm and life. The doors were made of glass panels and white frames.

You remembered summers spent in this home, looking at your reflection in the panels as you compared heights with Bonnie and Caroline. The fridge that you and the girls raided one night in July before sneaking up to Caroline's room and dividing the ice cream and gummy bears. Sheriff Forbes had hidden it there, hoping the girls wouldn't see it until the following afternoon, but you noticed everything—and you were quick to spill.

"Do you want anything to eat?"

You snapped out of the memory. "No. Thank you."

You sat down at the table. Sheriff Forbes sat across from you, observing you with empathy and uncertainty. "You're a good kid, Y/N," Sheriff Forbes began. "And you and Caroline are such great friends, which is why I don't want to haul you all the way to the station."

You shifted in your seat and set your clasped hands on the table. "What's going on?"

"After the animal attack on Vicki Donovan, we scoured the woods to find whatever it was that bit her," Sheriff Forbes explained carefully, studying your reaction. Okay...animal attack...Vicki...what did any of this have to do with her? "And we found a body instead. Ryder Duran."

You stared.

For a moment, you didn't know where you were, like you'd forgotten you existed. You hadn't even realized you were crying until the teardrops trickled on your hands and slid against the table. Then it hit.

Ryder was...he was gone.

"So it was him," You whispered. You blinked, meeting the sheriff's eyes. "I saw him...at the bonfire. I didn't want to believe..."

"I'm sorry, Y/N." Sheriff Forbes reached for your hands and pat them tenderly.

You sniffled and wiped your tears. Now was not the time to lose your composure. "How did he die?"

"We're still waiting on the autopsy," Sheriff Forbes replied. "We don't know really anything about him, except that he was good friends with you. In fact, we wouldn't even have ID'd him if it wasn't for the cell we found in his back pocket."

"I don't know if I can help you."

The sheriff smiled reassuringly. "Anything information is helpful, Y/N. Just tell me about your relationship. Were you two close?"

Close, You wanted to scoff. The last time you spoke, it was because he sold your brother drugs. You'd called him an asshole...that was the last word you'd said to him. He hadn't heard it but it didn't matter. That was your last thought of him...that he was an asshole undeserving of your affection. All because he hung up on you to talk to some stranger. What if the person who had interrupted your final conversation killed him?

"Y/N?"

"We weren't best friends or anything," You finally responded. Sheriff Forbes brought her hands back. "We'd only known each other three months but...we got along."

"How did you two meet?"

You smiled. Oh, you could never forget the day you met Ryder Duran. You'd been scared out of your wits; he was the only person to ever put the fear of God in you. But you couldn't say that. You had to stick with the plan: operation return-to-normalcy. Your story was ready. All you had to do was be convincing. You couldn't show weakness.

"When my parents died, I was sent to Coral City's Trauma Center," You recounted. You'd practiced this with Holly so many times just to be safe, but never thought it'd be necessary. "Ryder and I had the same schedule. So during meal hours, we talked. He didn't tell me much about his home life, except that he was adopted and he had a sister."

Sheriff Forbes nodded thoughtfully. "Do you know where she is now?"

"His entire family passed away in a fire," You said flatly. The sheriff blinked. "I think I was his only friend." To think the last time they spoke, you blew him off.

"Can you tell me more about the center?"

You glanced at the wall behind her. Green. Like soft moss or pond water. "What do you want to know?"

"Did you like it there?"

You allowed yourself to scoff. "Away from my friends, family, and everything I love? Of course not. We had no contact with the outside world. The only thing I had to keep me sane were my journals, sketchbooks, and the nurses."

"That sounds like a prison," Sheriff Forbes remarked. The uncertainty was back. Perhaps you should've maintained eye contact...but how could you look someone in the eye and hide the horrors you'd been through? Of all the things she'd seen and experienced, that was the most impossible. But the best lie had a semblance of truth.

"It felt like one." You and the other patients had a word for it: purgatory. But none of them dared say it in the presence of the doctors and outsiders. You cleared your throat. "Is that all? I should go, Caroline's waiting on me."

"Of course." Sheriff Forbes rose to her feet and offered a hand. "Thank you for your help, Y/N." You gave it a firm shake and stood, forcing a smile. "I'll let you know as soon as we find something."

"Thanks," You said gratefully. "And do you mind if we keep this between us? I just don't want...you know..."

Sheriff Forbes smiled with understanding. "Your secret's safe with me."

When you returned to Caroline's bedroom, your mind had drifted to all sorts of hell. But with your best friend present, you couldn't break. You'd already cracked before Sheriff Forbes. That was a mistake. You couldn't make it again.

Caroline, who'd been standing by the window, turned when she heard you enter. "What was that all about?"

"Nothing," You sighed, and plopped on the bed. "She was just asking me questions about the animal attack."

"I told her she needs to stop hounding people!" Caroline exclaimed. She plucked a tube of lipstick from her dresser and gestured wildly with her hands. "It's not like any of us saw anything and even if someone did, they were probably too wasted to remember."

You arched an eyebrow at the tube. "Um, what is that?"

"It's called lipstick," Caroline responded slowly, as if speaking to a child. "Made in 1884, the thing people apply to their lips when they want to look nice."

You rolled your eyes. "Alright, smartass, I know what it is. I'm not wearing that."

You didn't have a problem with makeup, but this was just going overboard.

"But-"

"Don't push it."

Chapter Eleven

[ajesterwrites]

9. the fatalist

summary: you spontaneously visit the boarding mansion, but it's not stefan who awaits you.

pairings: damon salvatore x reader, stefan salvatore x reader

warnings: none

word count: 2.2K

YOU WEREN'T USED to running. For you, everything was all about poise. You could be doing something you absolutely hated, as long as you looked good doing it. But after you were sent to Coral City's Trauma Center, you changed. Before, you had values, morals, a specific set of rules that guided you through life and your relationships. Then suddenly...you didn't.

The adjustment was difficult, but you tackled a fresh mindset and embraced your new identity with style. So the concept of you knocking on the door of a boy you met only a few days prior was something that would turn almost anyone's head.

Even as you rang the ancient doorbell, you couldn't help but laugh. The mere idea of you awkwardly standing outside, waiting for someone to answer, was absurd. But now it was you. And only you, since after five minutes of waiting, the only thing that greeted you was silence.

For a moment, you thought you had the wrong address. But you'd seen the picture Caroline sent you, a photo undoubtedly obtained by her casual stalking, and a place like that was hard to miss. It didn't even look like a house. It was more like a mansion you'd find in a horror film or a murder-mystery.

Reluctantly, you slammed the door knocker four times. The door creaked opened. You gasped quietly. Peering through the narrow opening, you realized you had three options.

Either you could wait a little longer and risk looking desperate, go inside and risk looking invasive, or you could leave. Nobody would know that you were ever there, which could save you some dignity.

Opting for the third choice, you followed your nature, and turned to go. You hadn't even walked two feet when a black crow nearly crashed into you. You yelped and ducked instinctively, covering your head with your hands, and then whirled around to find yourself gazing into the mesmerizing crystal blue eyes of a handsome stranger.

"Oh my god," You blurted out, placing a hand over your thumping heart. The stranger towered over you, smirking mischievously, and tilted his head to the side as if to say What's this?

"You must be Y/N," The man replied coolly. There was something about his tone that made you feel...off. It was charming and alluring, like the bright tip of a flame waiting to burn you. "I'm Damon, Stefan's brother."

You frowned. Brother? "I didn't even know he had a brother."

"Well Stefan's not one to brag," Damon joked. You chuckled softly. He reached his arm out, motioning for you to come forth. "Please, come in. I'm sure Stefan will be along any second."

You followed him inside and shut the door behind you. "Do you always keep your door open like that? I mean aren't you afraid of anyone getting in?"

"Nope."

"Then you must be pretty confident in your self-defense abilities," You said, but Stefan's brother was so unresponsive you weren't sure if the words actually left your mouth. As you looked around the enormous home, you noticed there was no security system installed. And Damon looked like a man who could defend himself. "Wow. This is your living room?"

"Living room, parlor...Sotheby's auction," He quipped. He stopped beside you. Your eyes wandered the room in awe. Between the regal rugs, chairs, lamps, and paint job, it was easy to say Stefan and his family had exquisite style. They'd really embraced the whole vintage vibe in a beautiful way. "It's a little kitschy for my taste."

You nodded slowly, but even you couldn't hide your surprise as you marveled at the setting.

"I see why my brother's so smitten," Damon said, turning to face you. You looked at him. Stefan was smitten? Had he...talked about you to Damon? That was a good sign, at least. "It's about time. For a while there, I never thought he'd get over the last one. Nearly destroyed him."

You furrowed your eyebrows. You didn't expect someone with Stefan's face to stay single forever, but there was something about his tone that didn't seem right. He was trying to tell you something and it seemed like he was trying to let you know that without making it obvious.

"The last one?" You asked, painfully ignorant.

"Yeah. Katherine, his girlfriend?" Damon said, frowning insincerely when he saw that puzzled look on your face. "Oh, you two haven't had the awkward exes conversation yet."

You smiled politely. "Why linger in the past when there's a whole future ahead of you, right?"

"Interesting mindset," He replied, pretending to ponder your words. "It's too bad he's not looking for a relationship, he could really use someone like you in his life."

"We're just friends," You murmured, hoping to salvage some control over this conversation. Technically, you were being truthful. You were just friends—the reason you'd showed up was because you'd hoped you could be more, but you were beginning to regret it.

Damon nodded. "That's good. I would hate for you two to get involved when he's on the rebound. We all know how those relationships end."

You smiled. "Have you always been such a fatalist?"

Damon chuckled softly, keeping his eyes trained on you with a pleased smile stretched across his face. "Hello, Stefan."

You turned to see Stefan standing by the entrance. "Y/N." His eyes were fixed on you, but he looked like he wanted to burn a hole in someone's skull—and you had a feeling it wasn't yours. "I didn't know you were coming over."

"Yeah, uh, sorry," You said, stepping toward him. "This was kind of a spur of the moment thing and I really didn't think this through. It's stupid, I know, I just-"

"Oh, don't be silly," Damon intervened, coming to your side. "You're welcome any time. Isn't she, Stefan?"

Stefan didn't respond. Instead he just stood there, paralyzed, his thickening gaze boring into his inattentive brother. Or maybe Damon did notice the way Stefan was staring at him with such flaming eyes but simply didn't care.

"You know, I should break out the family photo albums or some home movies," Damon went on. You struggled to keep your eyes on him when you could practically feel Stefan's impenetrable, long look. "But I have to warn you. He wasn't always such a looker."

"Thank you for stopping by, Y/N," Stefan spoke up monotonously, darting his eyes to you occasionally but maintaining Damon as his primary target. "Nice to see you."

If poison had a voice, that would be it. You couldn't pinpoint exactly what was going on, but the only thing you did know was that this wasn't your problem and you weren't going to make it yours. The tension between the two was incredibly palpable, suffocating even. You'd never felt anything like it. You never knew that family members could hate each other so much.

"Um, yeah, okay," You said awkwardly, taking Stefan's lingering gaze as your cue to leave. "It was nice meeting you, Damon."

"Great meeting you too, Y/N," He replied. Without tearing his gaze from yours, he lifted your hand and pressed his lips against your knuckles.

Caught off guard by his gesture, you stood there in a daze and smiled forcefully before turning to the other brother. You opened your mouth to say something to Stefan, but quickly shut it and gave him a small nod of acknowledgement before scurrying out.

And this is why I don't run.

◇◇◇

By the time you got to your house, you were exhausted. On your way there, your bike tires blew out so you'd been forced to walk halfway, and it'd been lifetimes since you walked such a great distance. All you wanted to do was take a relaxing shower and sleep. But you learned a long time ago that life wasn't there to cater to your desires. You didn't know exactly what its purpose was, all you knew was that when you arrived inside, Bonnie and Caroline's laughter floated through the house.

You followed their voices to the kitchen and stopped. "What are you guys doing here?"

Bonnie looked away from the pot she'd been stirring on the stove and smiled. "Oh, hey, Y/N! Jenna and I are just making jerk chicken from Grams' recipe book and Caroline is baking some cookies for tomorrow night."

"Yeah but enough of that," Caroline said, setting the bowl of batter down so she could prop her elbows on the counter and listen intently. "How'd your talk with Stefan go?"

"Well...I went to his place... and according to his brother-"

Caroline and Bonnie turned to each other and traded confused looks. You didn't speak silence, but still know exactly what they were—or weren't—saying. 

Did we know he had a brother? Caroline asked and you couldn't help but stifle a laugh. She figured Caroline of all people would know the answer to that. Bonnie shook her head; Nope.

"Yes, you heard that right," You confirmed. "He has a brother. And before they got into that weird tense family moment, he told me that Stefan is looking for a rebound, not a relationship. Maybe this is a sign."

Caroline scoffed. "You can't be serious. A sign? Please. That is complete bullshit and you know it."

You blinked. Caroline wasn't one to curse very often.

"You barely even tried!" Caroline continued. "We've been friends for almost a decade, and I know that when you want something, you take it. That's why we have such a great dynamic!"

"She's right, you know," Jenna chimed in, stopping to chew a chocolate chip cookie. "It can't hurt to try again."

You stared at her with uncertainty. It could definitely hurt. It could hurt you. Besides...Holly didn't want you to start new relationships. There was too much that could go wrong. Too many questions that could be posed. "I don't know, it was a long shot anyway. I mean, you saw how things turned out with Matt."

"Yeah, we did," Caroline agreed. "And I wanted to gouge my eyes out with a pitchfork but-"

"Graphic."

"But I've seen you with Stefan, and it's..."

You watched her expectantly, waiting for her to finish the sentence. "It's what?"

"...different."

"What she means is watching you two interact doesn't make innocent bystanders, such as us, want to scrub our eyes out with bleach," Jenna offered, and Caroline nodded perkily in agreement.

You blinked at the pair. "Wow. Is that really how you guys felt when Matt and I were dating?"

"Well, I mean-" Bonnie started to say, but Caroline cut her off.

"Yes," The blonde practically exhaled, as if she'd been waiting to get that off her chest for years. But Caroline had never been one to bite her tongue—you wondered what the sudden confession was about. Especially since she seemed to be interested in Stefan herself. Why help you out when she could easily eliminate the competition?

"Moving on..." Bonnie continued, giving Caroline a warning look before turning to you with a warm smile. "You're finally happy. Really happy. Don't let your fear ruin that."

"What fear? It's not like I'm scared," You scoffed, grabbing a knife to chop vegetables. But after a brief moment under Bonnie's watchful eyes, you sheepishly looked up, biting your lip. "And if, hypothetically speaking, I am, what exactly do I have to be afraid of?"

Bonnie smiled sadly. "This is the happiest you've been since your parents died. And no offense, but you tend to be a little..."

"Pessimistic?" Caroline offered. "Cynical? Apathetic?"

"Yes..." Bonnie responded, a little irritated as she looked over at Caroline, who was too busy tasting her batch to notice. "But believe it not, the world isn't going to catch on fire because your life is good. And even if it does, I'll see it coming."

You laughed. It seemed this psychic thing was going to be a running gag and inside jokes in their lives. You didn't mind. It was nice having things almost return to normal.

"And," Bonnie went on. "Caroline heard from Bobbi, who heard from Kelly, who heard from Cristina, who heard from Margaret that Stefan is going to be at the festival. Maybe you two can patch things up when you get there?"

Caroline smirked. "And if you're really lucky, maybe you two can-"

"I think I wanna focus on a little soul-searching first," You interrupted, fighting back a smile. Your transformation was astounding, to say the least. Four months ago, you probably would've found a way into his pants, but you'd come to appreciate the internal beauty of those around you.

"Trust me." Caroline lowered her voice. "You'll have time to do plenty of searching."

"Caroline!" You and Bonnie exclaimed before bursting into giggles. Caroline smiled proudly while Jenna struggled to fight back a grin.

"This is why I'm the fun one," Caroline commented, pleased with herself.

"Whatever," You scoffed and threw a dish towel at her. Caroline squealed and tried to dodge, but it landed on her face. You and Bonnie erupted in a fit of giggles, and Caroline, though irritated, couldn't help but join in.

Chapter Ten

[ajesterwrites]

8. seize the day

summary: you visit Vicki in the hospital and run into an unexpected visitor. bonnie's suspicions grow.

pairings: stefan salvatore x reader, matt donovan x reader (platonic)

warnings: none, not much happens in this chapter

word count: 3.7K

"I'm confused," Caroline was saying as you, her, and Bonnie strolled down the bustling hallways of Mystic Falls High. Bonnie had just explained last night's events while you cast your eyes in every direction, on the lookout for Jeremy and his stoner friends, ready to bust him on the spot. "Are you psychic or clairvoyant?"

"Technically, Grams says I'm a witch," Bonnie clarified. "My ancestors were these really cool Salem witch chicks or something. Grams tried to explain it all, but she was looped on the liquor so I kinda tuned out. Crazy family? Yes. Witches? I don't think so."

"Yeah, well, feel free to conjure up the name and number of that guy from last night."

"What guy?" You asked, snapping your eyes to Caroline. In your string of rants all morning, no guy had ever been brought up.

"There was this really hot guy at The Grill and I really felt a spark, you know?"

"But it was one of those love-at-first-sight sparks," Bonnie added. "She told me they didn't even talk."

"I know what I felt," Caroline insisted. "And I'm telling you, there's something there."

An entertained smile stretched across your face as you glanced between the two of them.

"Oh look, there's Matt!" Caroline said bubbly.

The other two girls looked to see him standing in the front of the school, right in the field, and you looked around. You hadn't even realized you'd left the building.

"Matt!" Caroline called out. He turned and smiled when his eyes landed on her. Your schoolmate and his best friend since childhood, Tyler Lockwood, muttered something in his ear, and they both laughed before performing a not-so-secret handshake. When that was over, Matt made his way to the group, where there was a chorus of greetings.

"How's Vick?" You asked. The last you heard, Vicki's wounds had been taken care of, and she was fast asleep.

"She's fine," Matt cleared up. "They're keeping her overnight to make sure there's no infection, but she should be able to come home tomorrow."

"Were you able to reach your mom?"

"Called and left a message. She's in Virginia Beach with her boyfriend, so... we'll see how long it takes her to come rushing home."

You frowned. You didn't know Kelly Donovan that well, but despite her trashy behavior and questionable choices, the one thing you never doubted was that Mrs. Donovan loved her kids to the moon and back. Even if she had a funny way of showing it. "I'm sure she'll be back soon."

"Yeah."

"Do the police know what animal attacked her?"

"She said it was a vampire."

You froze. "What?"

Matt stopped alongside you, unaware of the horrified look on your face. "Yeah, she wakes up last night and mutters 'vampire' and passes out. I think she was drunk."

A vampire...in Mystic Falls? But that would mean... your stomach flipped at the mere thought of him.

Ryder.

But he wouldn't...he couldn't...he promised he would never–

"So what's up with you and the new guy?" Matt asked, nodding toward Stefan, who was sitting at a table across the lawn. You hadn't even noticed he was there.

"He's cool." While you'd already made your feelings for Matt clear, you didn't want to rub it in his face that you may have found someone you actually liked. Liked... such a strong word.

Matt scoffed. "I can tell. He was with you at the Grill...at the bonfire..."

You went quiet, choosing not to entertain the implication. You glanced at Bonnie and Caroline, who'd somehow managed to sneak twenty feet away from you as you and Matt spoke, but they were still watching attentively. "Um, we're all headed to the hospital. Do you wanna come?"

"I'll take my car. I'm probably gonna stop somewhere first. If she's awake, she'll probably want to eat something other than hospital food." 

You smiled. Matt had always been so thoughtful. Even when you broke up with him, all he could ask was if she was going to be okay, nevermind the pain he was going through. "Okay. Catch you later?"

"Yeah," He said, giving you a small nod and awkward smile before walking away. Bonnie and Caroline went to your side, eyeing him as he left.

"Poor guy," Caroline said.

Bonnie nodded, sympathy gleaming in her eyes. "I know, right? What happened to Vicki is horrible."

"Vicki?" Caroline repeated, furrowing her eyebrows as if that was the dumbest thing she'd heard all day. "I'm not talking about her, I'm talking about Y/N. He's totally in love with her."

"What are you talking about?" You asked. With her, there were always switching subjects. One minute, you were talking about sexism, and the next, your primary topic was about who was the hottest out of Edward and Jacob (although the answer was obvious—clearly, it was Jacob). It was a wonder anyone could keep up with her, but you and Bonnie had been doing it for years.

Caroline gave you a look. "Don't play dumb." She turned back to look at Matt, who was getting into his car. "I mean, look at him. How can you look into those sad puppy eyes and say no? You're killing him."

"No, I'm not."

"You are literally clutching his heart and ripping it out of his chest."

"Have you been watching Indiana Jones again?" You asked. Bonnie laughed, and Caroline rolled her eyes. "Look, I already made it perfectly clear to him that I'm not interested."

"You didn't give him the It's not you, it's me speech, did you?" Bonnie chimed in.

"No. I just told him that I'm not the one for him. Last night at the bonfire."

"I didn't know you believed in soulmates." Yet another reason to grow suspicious of you.

And you instantly caught on. "I don't."

"Well, I do," Caroline piped up, unaware of the tension between her two friends. "Like that guy at the bar!"

Bonnie teasingly rolled her eyes before trading looks with you, who laughed.

The walk to the car and ride to the hospital was filled with Caroline raving on and on about the sexy stranger. She barely took any breaths as she droned about the man, from his solid jawline to his intense blue eyes, but there was something else about the conversation that grabbed your attention.

"...weird ring..."

Although you'd been occupied with your latest artwork, your pencil froze on the page. "Wait, ring?"

"Yeah, I saw it when he waved," Caroline casually mentioned, but then noticed the wary look on her friend's face. "Don't worry, he wasn't married or anything."

Who else do I know that has a weird ring? Could be a coincidence.

But you knew better. You'd learned the hard way to trust your gut. You refused to believe it was a coincidence that a man that neither of you had ever seen before arrived in town around the same time as Stefan. But then again, you didn't have enough information. You hadn't even seen the ring...it was too early to jump to conclusions. You returned to your art.

Bonnie shrugged, deciding to play with the ring angle. "Unless he wanted to hang at a bar because there was trouble in paradise."

"No, that wasn't it," Caroline said confidently. Bonnie raised an eyebrow. "Hello. Are you forgetting my parents are divorced? If his marriage was falling apart, I'd know. He didn't have the jaded, tortured look in his eyes. And besides, there's no way that was a wedding band. If it was, his wife would really have to hate him to let him wear that thing in public."

"Hence the trouble in paradise."

"Whatever," Caroline scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"What are you doing?" Bonnie suddenly asked, glancing at you through the rearview mirror.

You looked up from your work. "Uh, just sketching something."

Caroline cocked her head to the side. "Since when do you draw?"

"Since always," You said simply, not wanting to get into details. You chuckled softly to ease suspicion but didn't miss the look Bonnie made. Get it together.

You glanced at Caroline, who didn't seem to have the slightest clue about what was going on as she stared out of the window. Caroline cared about her friends—in her own special and occasionally smothering way—but she tended to be trapped in her own bubble and oblivious to the events around her.

"Can I see?" Bonnie asked. It was nothing special. You had only recently begun drawing, so it wasn't as great as you wanted it to be. Because you struggled with hands, you decided on a pair of eyes.

Cold, unassuming eyes narrowed with suspicion. They were to be colored green when you got home.

You held your notebook up, and Bonnie's eyes darted to the drawing for a brief moment, as her attention was on the road, but an impressed look loomed on her face. "Wow. That's amazing, Y/N. I had no idea you could draw so well."

"Yeah, did you go to some prestigious art school while you were gone?" Caroline asked with a soft laugh. You forced a smile. I wish, you thought as you closed the book shut.

"I'll be back in five minutes," You promised when Bonnie rolled into the hospital parking lot. "Not planning on having any conversations."

"Whatever happened with you and Vicki anyways?" Caroline asked as she surveyed her nails, thinking of the nail polish color she'd use for the event coming up.

"Nothing, we just had a falling out," You replied dismissively as she climbed out of the seat. "Be right back."

You grabbed your bouquet of flowers and a Get Well Soon card before going inside. You hadn't been in the hospital in months... when you woke up from the car accident and learned your parents were dead. Everything was still the same. The walls were a bleak, pasty white. Nurses wore flowery and colorful scrubs to bring some semblance of life. The floors squeaked loudly. The air was full of misery, and the halls echoed with a chaotic symphony of noise. You shivered. This was one place in Mystic Falls you hadn't missed.

After getting the room number from the receptionist, you made your way to Vicki.

You and Vicki hadn't talked since—well, since you had that "psychotic break", also known as one of the biggest physical fights you'd ever been involved in, although it was mostly you packing the punches. And Vicki hadn't told anyone because that would mean telling people why, and she wasn't ready to do that. After all, who'd want to tell the world that they deflowered a fourteen-year-old boy? Especially one that was her best friend's brother?

As you turned the corner and passed a room, you caught a glimpse of a familiar leather jacket. You stopped, went a few steps back, and saw the gelled golden hair on the figure's head.

Stefan?

When he spun around, his eyes immediately landed on you.

"What are you doing here?" You asked.

"Just...visiting family."

"Oh," You said reluctantly, watching as he cast nervous glances at the door. Was someone coming? "Well, I'm sorry to hear that. Is everything okay? No offense, but you look a little...shady."

"What? No, everything's fine," He answered calmly, but his radiating anxiety made sweat glands roll down your neck. What is he so afraid of? "Uh, you on your way to see Vicki?"

Maybe he has a medical condition. That'd explain why he's here—he might just not want anyone to know. You nodded, attempting to reply fast enough so he wouldn't get the idea that you were checking him out. "Yeah."

"You should go do that," He suggested. Except it didn't sound like a suggestion or an order. It was more like...a plea. Huh. That's weird.

"Um...okay. Nice seeing you."

"Yeah, you too," He said, giving you the weakest attempt at smiling. You couldn't imagine what he could possibly be doing that had him so on edge but didn't question it. Instead, you gave a small smile and continued to Vicki's room. But as if his strange behavior wasn't enough, it wasn't even five seconds later when Matt practically ran into you. Before he could knock you to the ground, you skidded aside.

"Woah!" You yelped, raising your hands in surrender.

"Did you see him?" Matt asked frantically, his eyes darting around the place.

You raised an eyebrow. "See who?"

"Stefan," He said impatiently, looking slightly frustrated that you couldn't read his mind. "Did you see Stefan?"

"Oh yeah, I just saw him go in there," You replied, pointing to the room down the hall. Matt pushed past, and you frowned, not staying behind to watch him dash away. You didn't know what was going on but didn't care enough to figure it out.

When you finally reached Vicki's room, you exhaled slowly. You hadn't been nervous before but now...your palms felt sticky. It was only Vicki. It's not like you should be scared. In fact, Vicki should be scared of you. But...a pit formed in your stomach. You'd be in and out. No need to sweat it. "Just...drop the stuff and leave," You whispered to yourself. Then you took a deep breath, reached for the handle, and opened the door.

Vicki was fast asleep, and you mentally applauded the universe for your luck.

With slow, heedful steps, you walked to the other side of the bed and placed the flowers and card in between the lamp and telephone rested on the dresser. And then, with even quieter steps, you started to head out.

But as soon your fingers brushed against the silver handle, a groggy, confused voice said, "Y/N?"

You froze. Shit...so much for being lucky.

You smoothly spun around, bringing a fake smile to your lips. "Hey."

Vicki sat up and stared at you, trying to decipher the reality of the moment. "What are you doing here?"

"Nothing. Just bringing you some stuff," You responded coolly. Vicki turned to glance at items on the dresser. The confusion on her face didn't settle. "Um...I remember you told me one time that you liked tickseed sunflowers, so...yeah. I didn't wake you up, did I?"

"No."

"Oh. Okay, good. Well-"

"I'm sorry," Vicki interrupted. 

"What?"

"I'm sorry," She repeated. You gaped at her. Vicki never apologized. Everything she did, good or bad, was something that you just had to be okay with. Over the years, you'd gotten used to that.

"You don't have to apologize," You said, waving your hand dismissively.

"Yeah, I do," She insisted. Her eyes darted to the floor. "Am I why you went away?"

"Yes, I woke up one morning and decided to skip the town I've lived in my entire life because of some crackhead slut," You responded. You shared laughter, recalling your crude nicknames for each other. You could never be friends again, you knew that. But...in a strange way, you missed her.

Despite this, you realized something. She was awake. You'd wanted to avoid her but this could work in your favor. She'd told Matt that she saw a vampire...which meant that she hadn't been compelled to forget. If it was true, you had an opportunity to see if it was Ryder.

You opened your mouth to ask, but the words never left your tongue. No. Ryder had no reason to attack Vicki. He wouldn't hurt anyone unless it was for his own survival. You needed to trust him. When he finally answered your calls, he'd tell you that he wasn't even in the woods. He was perfectly safe. An animal attack Vicki. He wouldn't do that. And he'd ask you if you really thought he was capable of that, sounding all hurt the way he did, and you'd feel guilty for a second. Then you'd say "Of course not" and everything would be fine again.

"Goodbye Vicki," You said after a moment of quiet. "I hope you feel better soon."

Vicki nodded and a smile of all things appeared on her face. This might've been one of the first times she smiled without being in a drug-induced haze. That's so weird, You thought as you left the room. But almost refreshing.

As you strolled down the halls, a deflated and puzzled Matt came your way. "Did you find him?"

Matt shook his head. "No."

"That's too bad," You replied, unsure of how to respond. Matt stood there, nodding. You cleared your throat. "Well I should get going. Bonnie and Caroline are waiting for me."

"Right."

"I'll see you later?" You asked, uncertain. He nodded. You smiled and began to walk away.

"Hey Y/N?" He called. You stopped for a moment. "Thank you."

"No problem."

When you approached the car, you noticed Bonnie speaking vehemently while Caroline just shook her head. Frowning slightly, you opened the car door and slid into the backseat, only to be met with a tense silence. And that's when you knew what they were talking about. You.

But you didn't mention it. Instead, you grabbed your sketchbook, flipped it open to an empty page, and got to work on the first thing that appeared in your head. Caroline began to say something, but Bonnie stopped her with a warning look and turned up the radio to mask the tension.

◇◇◇

Fast forward half an hour, the girls were sitting at a table outside of the Mystic Grill, their textbooks and homework pages scattered as they sat in silence, trying to complete their work. Bonnie and Caroline took consistent glances at you, struggling to figure out if you knew something was wrong, but you seemed unfazed. Only once had you locked gazes, and Caroline was quick to look away.

"So..." Caroline started, placing her drink on the table. Her two companions looked up at her. "Comet tomorrow. You guys excited?"

The Night of the Comet Festival was a celebration hosted in honor of a comet that passed over Mystic Falls every one hundred and forty-five years. It was one of the town's many cherished events, and like plenty of other occasions, it wasn't taken lightly.

"Not anymore," Bonnie replied.

"Let me guess, something to do with your psychic Salem witch family?"

"I was talking to Grams, and she said the comet is a sign of impending doom," Bonnie explained. "The last time it passed over Mystic Falls, there was lots of death. So much blood and carnage, it created a bed of paranormal activity."

"Yeah, and then you poured Grams another shot, and she told you about the aliens," Caroline responded perkily and turned to her other friend, missing the hurt and offended look on Bonnie's face. You frowned. "So Y/N...you never told us what happened."

You raised an eyebrow. Was this about your absence? It seemed like an odd way to bring that up. But you didn't want to jump to conclusions and out yourself, so you kept your perplexed expression and kept your questions short.

"With. . .?"

"With you and Stefan, silly!" Caroline exclaimed with a laugh and added what appeared to be in a joking way, "God, it's a good thing you're pretty."

You smiled calmly, thinking of how the old you probably would've reacted incredibly harsh in response to Caroline's not-so-subtle diss. "I already told you everything. We just talked."

"You and Stefan talked... all night?" She asked, raising her eyebrows with disbelief. You nodded. "There was no sloppy first kiss or touchy feely of any kind?"

"Nope."

"Not even a handshake?"

"Not even that."

"Come on, Y/N, we are your friends!" Caroline replied dramatically. "Okay? You are supposed to share the smut!"

You laughed. "Sorry Caroline, but nothing happened. You know if it did, you'd be one of the first people to know."

"Okay, what is with the blockage? Just jump his bones already!" Caroline exclaimed. Bonnie looked over at, her face twisted into a 'What the hell' expression. "Okay, it's easy." To make her point and really break it down, she gestured with her hands. "Boy likes girl, girl likes boy, sex!" She clapped her hands together.

"Says you," You snorted. "Last time I checked, you didn't score the guy from the bar."

"I was drunk!"

"Uh huh," You said, amused by her defensiveness.

Caroline scoffed. "Whatever, Y/N. Still doesn't change the fact that you two are totally crushing, and there is nothing like doing the good ol' devil's tango to seal the deal."

"Thanks, but I'm not really looking for a fling right now."

"But you do want a meaningful relationship, right?" Bonnie asked. "I mean, you're seeking a connection. If you have that with Stefan, why not just go for it?"

You thought about that. Really, what was the worst that could happen? You liked him and it seemed he liked you too. And even if he rejected you, it would suck, but at least you wouldn't spend an eternity wondering what could've been. You only had one life—you might as well live it to the fullest.

"You know what? You're right," You declared, rising to your feet. You shoved your papers between the pages and slammed your book shut. "So what if I've only known him for a day? I had more fun talking to him for seven hours than I did in the last four months. Carpe diem."

"Carpe what now?" Caroline asked.

"Carpe diem," You repeated energetically. "Seize the day. That's what I'm going to do. Thanks guys, you're the best!"

"We know!" Caroline called after you as you darted towards the parking lot to grab your bike from the car. You turned, looking at the pride in Caroline's smile and the enthusiasm gleaming in Bonnie's eyes. Then you hopped on your bike and, kicked your feet on the pedals, and rode away.

Chapter Nine

[ajesterwrites]

7. therapy

summary: you sneak out to see your therapist. bonnie begins to become suspicious of you.

pairings: stefan salvatore x reader (brief mention), bonnie bennett x reader (platonic)

word count: 2.2K

Dear Diary,

For the first time in ages, I've woken up with a smile on my face. I'm ready to start the day. I'm ready to say "I'm fine" and smile and mean it. And I don't know, this may be the giddy teenage girl inside me speaking, but I believe I'm one step closer to full recovery. Clearly, there are still some problems that I need to address... Like Jeremy's addiction, Vicki's recovery, and Jenna's discomfort.

But despite all these problems, I have the feeling that I'm gonna have a great year. All I have to do is keep my family intact and manage to get through without telling Bonnie and Caroline where I was all summer. They haven't asked but I know they will. They'll mention my disappearance in one of our regular conversations, and there will be a point where I can't avoid it without slipping up. I have a lie prepared. But if I tell them, they won't see me in the same light.

"So..." You drawled, tapping your foot against the floor as Holly finished reading your most recent entry aloud. "What do you think?"

Holly paused for a moment, recollecting her thoughts. She removed her reading glasses and set them on the drawer, allowing you to look into her frosty green eyes. "I think you're not being entirely truthful, Y/N," She said. "And honesty is vital to a longstanding relationship such as this one, don't you think?"

Here we go with the subtle accusations.

"What are you talking about?" You asked, irritated and exhausted. Despite the night whisking past you as you got caught up in the most random discussions with Stefan, you'd been having an exceptional morning. You had acknowledged the scarcity of your mood, but now your joy was being torn apart by your own therapist. "I am honest! I even put in that bit about Bonnie and Caroline, which I've almost never done."

"Because you wanted to protect them."

You averted your eyes to the clasped hands in your lap. But Holly didn't seem to mind your caginess. She understood it more than anyone and knew that being a therapist was about gaining trust. That took time, especially when you had such a questionable connection.

Holly smiled. "It's okay, Y/N. I know you didn't trust me before because of what my father did to you—and I'm glad you do now, but...I'm sensing that you're holding back. In all of the problems you listed, you didn't mention your own once." 

"That's not true," You scoffed. "I mentioned Jeremy and Jenna-" 

"Those aren't your problems, Y/N." 

"They feel like my problems." 

Holly set her clipboard aside. You bit back a groan. "I've noticed your aversion to vulnerability. You deflect. You omit. You're not honest." 

"Okay..." You tried not to roll your eyes in Holly's face. She could be such a nuisance when she wanted to be. Did she not consider you hiding your past a problem? Because it ate you up inside at every moment. "And what would you have me say?" 

Holly sighed, catching on to your annoyance. "I don't know. Maybe what happened to your leg?" You glanced at the band-aid above your foot. You mentally swore at yourself for not getting changed out of your sleepwear and met Holly's disappointed glare. "We've made so much progress, Y/N. I'd hate for any impulsive decisions to ruin that."

"It was an accident," You said impatiently. You didn't like the assumption. And you were offended by the fact that your therapist of all people didn't believe you. If Holly couldn't believe that you would battle your demons with everything you had, then who would?

"Y/N-"

"It was," You insisted. "I was running, and I tripped. Besides, if I was going to hurt myself, I wouldn't do it in such an obvious place, you know that."

Holly stared at you for a moment, her eyes casting about for a trace of truth. Finally, she surrendered. "Why don't you tell me why you were so happy waking up this morning?"

At this, you beamed. "I met someone," You announced. "A guy. And we talked... almost all night. But I think I fell asleep at one point because one minute we were out laughing on the balcony and the next, it was four in the morning, I was in bed, and he was gone."

"Did you have the usual night terrors?"

Why ask about my personal life if you don't even care? You thought. Every session was always centered on your struggles, but never on your happiness. "One."

"You didn't mention it in your journal."

"That's because I don't remember what it was about," You responded.

Holly's eyebrow arched. "Then how do you know it was a night terror?"

"I don't," You confessed. "But on my way here, I remembered something, like part of a dream, and I almost crashed my bike." Holly gave an intrigued hum as she grabbed her clipboard to jot down notes. "That was accidental, too."

Holly looked up at you, her eyes narrowing. "I didn't say it wasn't."

"You didn't have to. I know that look. It was the same one your dad gave me when he thought I was lying."

"Well, did you lie?"

No, I stayed completely honest while he tortured me and deceived me every chance he got. "I told selective truths," You clarified. "It was the only way to survive there."

Alarm flashed across Holly's face. "You believed Dr. Blake was going to kill you?"

She wouldn't be Holly if she didn't collect information every moment she could. She truly was a Blake, and their similarities were beginning to get slightly unnerving.

"No, but I knew that by the time I got out, there were parts of me that wouldn't exist anymore," You admitted, choosing her words carefully. "And I didn't want to look in the mirror and not recognize my reflection. Obviously, I wasn't successful."

"Y/N," Holly spoke gravely as if time was of the essence. "Do you know what happened to the doctor?"

You leaned back in your chair, unappreciative of her accusatory tone. The number of times you'd been asked this by Holly was countless. You sighed heavily. "No. I don't. But whatever it is, I'm sure he deserved it."

◇◇◇

Sneaking in and slipping out wasn't as nearly as easy as it was conveyed in movies. You couldn't just hop out of a window and run for it. No, you had to go through the whole process. That meant hiding your bike in the bushes, climbing up a less-than-sturdy ladder to quietly hop onto the roof, treading across so as not to wake anyone, and then crawling through the window. The effort was ridiculous, but was it worth it?

...Sometimes.

So, by the time you completed that routine and your daily routine, you were always shocked by the amount of energy you had left, despite your exhaustion. But you never questioned it. However, that morning was different.

Almost directly after you stepped out of your room, cold fingers brushed against your arm. You flinched and looked up to see Jenna dressed in a simple but stunning eggplant-colored dress and black pumps. "Morning," Jenna greeted. "Do I look adult? As in respectfully parental?"

"Where are you going?"

"Jeremy's parent-teacher conference," Jenna answered, strutting to a mirror hung up on the hallway wall. She tilted her head to the side and scrunched her hair upwards with her hands. "Should I put my hair up..." She let her strawberry blonde curls falls to her shoulders. "..or hair down?"

"Up," You said instantly. "Definitely up. Unless you want to look like a hooker or if we're going in the more parental direction, a boozy housewife."

Jenna scoffed. "Up it is. Hey, what's wrong with your face?"

"I'm not sure what you mean."

"You're smiling," Jenna said, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. "You didn't switch your brother's shampoo with bleach again, did you?"

You scoffed, but your grin widened when you thought of Jeremy walking around with yellow hair.  But you snapped out of the memory when you realized Jenna was still eyeing you.

"No, of course not. I'm just in a good mood. Why wouldn't I be? It's bright...and sunny...and I think I heard birds chirping outside of my window this morning."

Jenna laughed as she fixed her hair in the mirror.  "I'm sure you did."

"So, where is Jeremy anyways?" You asked, peeking inside his empty room. It wasn't like him to leave so early. Normally, it took a bucket of ice to even get him to consider getting out of bed. 

"He left early. Something about getting to a wood shop early to finish a birdhouse." You frowned, giving your aunt an 'Are you serious?'  look, but as soon as the words tumbled past her lips, Jenna dropped her hand from her hair and lifted a finger. "There is no birdhouse, is there?"

"Tricked by Jeremy of all people," You commented and clapped her on the back. "That's gotta hurt."

"Oh quiet!" Jenna said, and you giggled. "Don't you have to get to school?"

"Yep. And before you ask, I'm catching a ride with Bonnie and Caroline."

"Good," Jenna remarked with a satisfied smile. "I'm glad you three are hanging out again. It's nice to see they've pulled you out of your usual slump."

"Mm-hm."

"Do they know why you were gone all summer?"

You and your aunt turned and descended down the staircase. You cleared your throat. "Um, no, I haven't told them yet."

"Y/N," Jenna began softly, giving you a gentle smile.  "You went through something incredibly traumatic. Going to a trauma recovery center is nothing to be ashamed of. We've all been there, and I'm sure they'll be glad to know you were able to heal in a healthy way."

As you reached the end of the stairs, your eyes shifted anywhere except your aunt's troubled gaze. "I'm not ashamed, Jenna. I just..." I'm terrified. But you couldn't say that. You couldn't say anything. 

Jenna nodded. She had no way inside your mind but knew you better than you thought. "I understand," She said, offering a kind smile. "But if you ever want to talk about it, I'm here."

"I know," You said, smiling. But you weren't going to talk about it, no matter how badly you wanted to. "Oh, and by the way, if you want to find Jeremy, you should try the hospital. He probably went to visit Vicki, bring her flowers or something."

"Then why didn't he just say that?"

"You know him," You shrugged. "If word gets out that he's done something nice for once, it'll annihilate his image."

Jenna sighed. Not only did he have a tortured soul, but he had a confusing mind, the worst combination. But at least he wasn't a borderline psychopath. "See you at school?"

"Definitely."

Jenna turned to give you a quick hug before her unusually calm departure, with the promise of buying enough frozen yogurt to last the week after the meeting.

As soon as the front door slammed shut, you checked your phone. No new messages. You dialed Ryder's number. "Come on...pick up."

"The person you have called is not available at this. Please leave a message at the tone." Beep.

"Shit!" You shouted, banging your fist against the wall. You took a deep breath. "Hey, Ryder, it's Y/N. I need to know you're okay. Please call me back. I love—I miss you. Bye."

Stuffing your phone in your jean pockets, you found yourself wandering inside the kitchen. You opened the refrigerator in search of something to eat. After a moment of contemplation, you grabbed the last cup of yogurt, ready to dig in, when someone asked, "That's it?"

You whirled around to see Bonnie standing by the kitchen entrance, appearing just as confused as you were. "What the–"

"Aren't you going to eat anything else?"

You sat down on the stool, giving your friend a nonchalant shrug. "Not very big on cooking."

Puzzled, Bonnie opened her mouth to respond when another voice rang out. "Then it's a good thing we brought you breakfast!"

You looked to see a certain blonde beside Bonnie, grinning from ear to ear and holding up a bag of diner food. Your gaze switched between a perturbed Bonnie and an oblivious Caroline, and slowly, the corners of your lips tugged upwards.

"Let's eat."

Caroline squealed before placing the paper bag on the counter. She plopped onto the stool, pulling out various trays to display your options. Bonnie pulled up a stool beside her, still eyeing you with a hardened frown. She didn't know what had happened in the last three months, but she had the feeling that whoever was sitting across from her wasn't her best friend.

Chapter Eight

[ajesterwrites]

6. the animal attack

summary: while at the bonfire, mysterious attacks on Vicki Donovan and a secret friend threaten your night of fun.

pairings: stefan salvatore x reader

word count: 2.5K

"Jeremy?" You called, pursuing his stumbling figure through the dark. You couldn't believe this. It was your first night out since you'd gotten back and you were stuck babysitting. "Jeremy! I swear to God when I get my hands on you-!"

"Leave me alone!" He shouted, speeding a bit. You snorted as he stumbled over something and fell to the ground, but it was what he said after that grabbed your attention. "Vicki?"

You stopped and gasped when you saw your brother looking straight at the unconscious face of Vicki Donovan. You hadn't seen her since...that night.

You stomach churned. You and Vicki used to be friends, which meant you regularly got high together, much to Matt's disdain. But after you found out she slept with Jeremy, some things went down. Things that you weren't entirely proud of. Things that Matt didn't know.

"Holy shit!" You yelled, running to Vicki's still body. You fell to her side and placed two fingers against the side of her neck, trying to feel for a pulse. And as if your hand emitted an electric spark, Vicki's eyes snapped open and she gasped loudly, then lost consciousness in an instant. You jerked your hand away and jumped back. "What the hell? Vicki, can you hear me? Vick?"

You muttered a string of curses and looked at Jeremy, who looked like he was going out of his mind. "Jer, I need you to help me get her up. We have to find help."

"I got her."

"Are you sure because I can-"

"Go!" Jeremy interrupted. You nodded and took off through the woods. Minus cheerleading, you were never much of an athlete, but here you were, sprinting through the woods to help a girl you didn't even like. Close behind her, you could hear Jeremy's footsteps and was slightly impressed by his ability to keep up while holding an 18-year-old girl in his arms.

"Somebody call 911!" You screamed, grabbing the full attention of your baffled peers. "Clear the table, we got a bloody unconscious girl coming through!" No one moved, paralyzed with shock. Now would be a great time for some adrenaline to kick in. "What, you've never seen someone passed out before? Move! And for God's sake, turn off that horrible music!"

Your schoolmates scrambled around, some rushing to cut off the music and others taking things off the table. Tyler Lockwood, Vicki's on-and-off boyfriend, wiped the table clean with his hand. Jeremy placed Vicki on the bench and you removed her necklace. You pressed two fingers against Vicki's neck. She had a pulse—a weak one, but a pulse nonetheless. You looked up to see Matt, Tyler, and Bonnie rushing to you.

"What the hell happened to her?" Matt demanded, his panicked eyes widened as they landed on her sister. More blood was seeping out of her neck wound and it didn't look like it would slow down any time soon.

"We don't know, we just found her."

"Somebody, call an ambulance!"

You pointed at a boy in the crowd. "You. Call 911." You'd learned from your father that during emergencies, it was best to ask a specific person to call 911—otherwise no one would, assuming that somebody else was already doing it. The boy fished through his pocket for his phone.

"Everybody back up, give her some space!" Tyler shouted, pushing slow bystanders away from the scene.

You pulled up a chair and sat down, studying Vicki's puncture wound. "It's her neck. Something bit her. She's losing a lot of blood, we need to get an ambulance here now. Someone get me a cloth or something before she goes into hypovolemic shock!"

"I have a scarf!" Caroline offered, pulling it from around her neck and pushing past everyone as she held it out. You thanked her and grabbed the scarf. Jeremy lifted up Vicki's head so you could wrap it around her throat.

"Aren't you supposed to clean it with beer or something?" Matt asked.

"No, that can cause tissue damage and slow healing," You looked at Matt. "This should help stop the bleeding until the ambulance comes."

"What happened?" Caroline asked.

"It was probably just another animal attack. There's been a lot of those lately."

"Yeah but in the neck?"

"They're called throat clamps," You explained. You couldn't help but think of how proud your father would be. He'd always assumed you weren't listening, as he was the type to talk about his cases in massive detail. He hadn't known that you hung onto every word, storing it in your brain. "It involves an animal attacking its prey by the neck. Usually with its teeth, that's why there are two sets of bite marks. Whatever animal did this would've had to have gotten pretty close...I'm surprised no one heard her scream."

"Do you think she's going to be okay?" Matt asked.

"There's never a guarantee but..." You nodded, giving him a small reassuring smile. "Yeah, I think she will."

You could practically feel the weight on his shoulders decrease as he drew a breath with ease. A few minutes later, a chaotic chorus of sirens blared through the woods. Soon police officers, an ambulance, and the Animal Control Unit arrived at the scene.

The party-goers were ordered to call their parents and clear out of the area. The crowd disbanded, but you stayed behind to see the paramedics roll Vicki into the ambulance. You watched as Matt hopped in after her and the vehicle zoomed off, its red and white lights zipping through the night.

"Y/N?" Someone called out. You turned to see Sheriff Elizabeth Forbes, Caroline's mother, coming to her. "Hello Jeremy. If you don't mind, I need to ask you both a few questions, get your statements."

You looked at your brother. All he did was nod so you spoke for him. "Yeah, whatever we can do to help."

"Do you want to do this now or go down to the station?"

"Now."

"Okay. Do you think you can walk me through what happened?"

"Of course. Jeremy and I were in the woods," You recounted to the sheriff, who pulled out a notepad to jot down information. "We got into a fight, I was chasing him down but then he tripped...and there she was. So Jeremy picked her up and I ran over here as fast as I could to get help."

"Are you the one that put the scarf around her neck?"

"Yeah," You confirmed. "It was Caroline's."

"Sheriff!" Someone shouted, and you both turned to see a young blonde officer standing by the edge of bushes, an indecipherable look on his face. "I think you're going to want to see this."

Liz nodded and turned back to you. "I called your aunt. She's on her way. You might wanna talk to her before she gets here... to calm her nerves."

"Okay. Thank you."

Sheriff Forbes nodded, offering up a tight-lipped smile and brief (slightly awkward) hug before walking away to join the officer. You turned to see Jeremy under a nearby gazebo, gripping a nearby beer bottle. Bonnie suddenly came to your side.

"Hey."

"Hey." Rough night.

"We're gonna go mainline coffee, wait for news," Bonnie said.

"Rain check," You replied. "I gotta take Jeremy home and Jenna's probably worried sick. But I'll call you when things cool down."

"Okay, I'll let you know when we get an update," Bonnie promised and you nodded. There was a beat of tense silence, but your mind was racing. You both shared a look, each wondering who'd be the first to speak up about the incident before the incident. "Y/N, there's no way I'm psychic. I know. But whatever I saw...or think I saw...I have this feeling... that's it just the beginning."

You opened your mouth to say something, but your attention was diverted when you noticed a brown-haired woman wearing a coroner's jacket. She rolled a stretcher past you, her lips stretched into a thin, grim line. You frowned and stepped closer to see who was in the body bag on the stretcher, but your heart stopped when the coroner zipped up the bag, just as you saw the victim's face.

Ryder?

Your heart dropped. Your lips trembled but you bit back the wail that threatened to escape. Your throat ached.

It couldn't be him...it had to be someone else. He looked like every other stranger in Mystic Falls—maybe you got it wrong.

Bonnie frowned as she witnessed the color drain from her friend's face. "Y/N? What's wrong?"

Slowly escaping your trance, you turned to Bonnie. "Nothing, sorry...just...thinking about how I'm never going to a party again."

Bonnie chuckled softly, but it didn't meet her eyes. A comfortable silence passed between the pair as you stood there, engulfed by your train of thoughts. When you finally departed, you loomed towards Jeremy, who was busy drinking. Even when he felt your presence beside him, he didn't look at you but lowered the bottle.

"You alright, Kearney?" You asked. "Stupid question, I know."

You expected him to agree and make a snarky comment like he usually did. But he didn't say anything. He just stared ahead. You cleared your throat, smoothly pulling the bottle from his grasp and taking a swig. This is when he finally looked at you.

"You haven't had a drink in months."

"Yeah, well, I think tonight calls for at least one," You reasoned, surprised that he even noticed. But you weren't surprised when he reached for the bottle. And he wasn't surprised when you slapped his hand away. "You just got out of middle school and this place is infested with cops."

"I don't care."

"Well, I do," You replied. I know it doesn't seem like it, but I care. So much. "People are going to stop giving you breaks, Jer. They've moved on. We probably won't. But the least we can do is heal. It's what Mom and Dad would've wanted for us."

You put your hand on his shoulder to raise his spirits. He shrugged you off. A stabbing pain hit your heart, but you forced a smile.

"Jeremy? Y/N?" The siblings turned to see a beloved strawberry blonde standing a couple feet away. When she saw your faces, she sighed and smiled. She raced over and threw her arms around you and your brother. "I came here as fast I could. What happened? Sheriff Forbes said there was an accident and that you two might have to go down to the station and-"

"Everything's fine, Aunt Jenna," You stated reassuringly. "Vicki got attacked by some wild animal and we found her in the woods."

"Oh my god, is she okay? Are you okay?

"She's on her way to the hospital, and we're fine," You said, giving a smile to ease your aunt's worry. "Promise."

Jenna nodded. "Okay. Let's get you two home so you can rest."

Rest. That sounds nice.

Despite the events that recently transpired, the car ride was silent and... peaceful. You pushed aside all thoughts of Ryder, convincing yourself that he was fine. You didn't think of Vicki or the fact that Stefan had vanished into thin air (although it did take you a while to realize that one). Instead, you thought about the fact that for the first time since your parents sank, you felt like you had a family.

Regardless of the difficult adjustment, you were momentarily content. Your parents were gone, and they weren't coming back, but...it felt like a part of them was watching over you, and their memories would always live on. And the mere thought of that gave you all the satisfaction you needed to carry on.

When you and your arrived home, you ran to the bathroom and called Ryder. No response. He was probably sleeping. After all, it was all midnight.

Sighing, you stepped into the shower to cleanse your mind and hands of Vicki's blood. As the blood washed down the drain, memories jolted through your mind, but you buried them and scrubbed yourself clean.

When you finished bathing, you threw on a t-shirt and joggers, then collapsed into bed. You had a lot on your mind, and what better way to release your thoughts than spill them in your journal?

You didn't know how long you stayed up in the balcony, but by the time you were done writing, you'd filled up six pages with nothing but honesty. And it felt good.

After chatting with Bonnie on the phone a bit about how to get Caroline sober and receiving an update on Vicki's condition, you decided to rest your mind. But every chance of that diminished when you heard footsteps pounding against the road and opened your eyes to see Stefan standing outside of your balcony, staring right at you with his lips parted, as if contemplating whether or not he should speak. You sat up.

"Damn. And here I was about to pine for you Juliet-style," You teased. You went downstairs and opened the door. Stefan waited patiently on your porch steps. "I was starting to think that you were a ghost."

Stefan smiled at you. "I know it's late, but uh...I needed to know that you were okay."

"Mm-hmm."

"Are you?" He asked. "Okay, I mean?"

"Compared to Vicki, I'm great."

"How is she?"

"Um, she hasn't woken up yet, but the doctors say she's gonna be fine."

"That's good. You know I saw you out there. You were pretty incredible."

"I put a scarf on her neck," You said dryly, raising an eyebrow. "It's basic TV-med stuff. Anyone could do that."

"True. But not everyone knows that you aren't supposed to pour alcohol on the wound."

"My dad is the one to thank for that. The only reason I ever got into anything medical is because he's-" You paused. "Was a physician."

Stefan nodded, studying the pained look on your face. Four months. Four months since they passed, and you didn't think you were ever going to get used to referring to your parents in the past tense. I guess I really haven't moved on.

"Wow, it's...freezing out here," You suddenly said. "And you look like you need someone to talk to. Do you want to maybe come in?"

You shifted aside. Stefan looked down at the threshold, then up at your sparkling eyes. He smiled. "Yes," He answered and stepped inside.

But little did he know that his first steps inside your house would also be his first steps onto a long road of trouble and heartbreak.

A storm was brewing in Mystic Falls. And soon, it would sweep you away until all that was left was the debris of what once was.

Chapter Seven

[ajesterwrites]

5. bridges & bonfires

summary: you attend the back-to-school bonfire with your friends and wonder if there's more to stefan than meets the eye.

pairings: stefan salvatore x reader

warnings: alcohol, matt being a simp (terrifying)

word count: 2.5k

EVERY YEAR, the back-to-school bonfire took place in the woods, only about half a mile from the waterfalls. And every year, something bad happened. Last year, Theadora Blake was caught cheating on her boyfriend of three years, Christian Suzel. Enraged, Christian picked a fight with the homewrecker, and both boys ended up getting checked into the hospital that night. It turned out fighting and drinking near a fire wasn't the brightest idea.

But new year, new drama.

"Just admit it, Y/N," Bonnie was saying as they stood in the center of the party, each holding a plastic red cup of fruit punch that tasted suspiciously strong. "You think he's drop-dead gorgeous."

You shook your head. "No, it's just that because of you, the title Sexy Back Guy is burned into my brain, and that's all I can think of when I see him."

"So you think he's sexy?"

"What?"

"I never said sexy, I said hot."

"Fine, you got me!" You exclaimed defeatedly,

"Knew it," Bonnie said in a sing-song voice.

You playfully rolled your eyes. "But it's not like I'm professing my love or anything, I just think he's cute. And he has this...romance novel stare."

"Stefan looked deep into her eyes, piercing her very soul," Bonnie said mockingly, and the two of you burst into laughter. "So where is he?"

You shrugged. "You're the psychic one—you tell me."

"Right, okay," Bonne said, playing along. "Give me a sec. Grams says I have to concentrate."

"Wait! You need a crystal ball. Uh..." Your eyes darted around the forest and lit up when you noticed a beer bottle on a nearby table. Smiling, you put down your cup and picked it up, showcasing it to your friend. "Ta da!"

Bonnie grinned, shaking her head with mild disbelief as she reached out to grab it, shutting her eyes. You watched her with a teasing smile, but it quickly vanished when Bonnie's eyes suddenly snapped open and she spaced out, terror-stricken as she snatched her hand away.

"What happened?"

"That was weird," Bonnie said. Frowning, she met your concerned gaze. "When I touched you, I saw a crow."

Oh no.

Your heart skipped a beat. "What did you just say?"

"A crow," She repeated, the deep frown still etched on her face. "There was fog, a man...I'm drunk. It's the drinking, there's nothing psychic about it."

"No, I-I actually think you might be onto something," You said, shaking your head. "Yesterday I was at the cemetery and there was this crow—I think it was the same one that crashed into your car yesterday morning—and it wouldn't go away. Then all this fog started coming so I ran, but when I turned I could've sworn there was a man standing there and..."

Bonnie blinked, not believing her ears. "You're messing with me," She reasoned.

"I'm not," You replied and held out your pinky. "Promise."

Bonnie looked down at your finger and back into your eyes. Your serious eyes. She closed her eyes for a moment, shaking her head out of denial. When she opened them again, she could see you still watching her, your lips stretched into a thin line and an intense crease in your forehead.

"Right," Bonnie breathed out, wide-eyed and appearing to be in a slightly traumatic daze. "Okay, well this is getting weird, I'm gonna go get a refill. Be right back."

"Wait- Bonnie!" You called out to your friend who was already walking away. "Are you-"

"I'm fine!" She called out, not turning around. Soon, she disappeared in the scrummage of intoxicated teens, and you sighed.

Now there you were standing alone at a party. No Bonnie. No Caroline. No Stefan. No one. It felt too painfully similar to where you were just a few months ago, but you hadn't had the luxury to drown in alcohol and pretend your pain didn't exist. Now you did.

So as you gulped your spiked punch carelessly, you turned around to find yourself face to face with Stefan, who casually muttered "Hi." You nearly splurt your drink. You quickly swallowed it before it spilled out of your mouth, but the coughing fit had begun.

Stefan pat you on the back. When you finally recovered, you looked up to see him resisting his laughter, differing from his previously concerned reaction.

"Hi," You said blandly, trying to sound upset, but couldn't quite fight the smile growing on your face.

"I did it again, didn't I?"

"If by it you mean standing there like a stalker and totally scaring the shit out of me, then yes."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," You said dismissively with a soft chuckle.

He nodded, but his grin was quickly replaced with a frown as he surveyed your face. "You're upset about something," He observed.

"What are you, an FBI profiler?"

"Only when I have to be."

You snickered, shaking your head. "I'm glad you could make it."

"Me too," He said, showing off his lustrous eyes to match his smile. They stood there for a brief moment in a comfortable silence that was disrupted by a peer bumping into you. The drink spilled out of your cup. You jumped back before the punch hit you and glared at the boy who collided with you, but he was too occupied with his disastrous dance moves to care, likely not even hearing the swear you shouted at him.

"Do you wanna maybe go somewhere private?" Stefan asked.

"That depends. Are you going to murder me with an axe and then dump my body in the woods?"

Stefan cocked his head to the side, pretending to ponder on the subject. "Well I wouldn't use an axe."

"Alright but just so you know, I have pepper spray on me." Which wasn't a lie. He laughed and nodded.

The further you and Stefan moved from the party, the more peaceful it became. But when they reached the bridge, your breath hitched in your throat. Your mouth dried like sandpaper. Stefan quickly realized the tension in your body and reluctance to pass. He carefully grabbed your hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

You looked at him and smiled gratefully before taking a deep breath and starting to cross. With each step, you got the terrifying feeling that the ground beneath your feet would crumble and you'd plummet into the icy lake. So to get your mind off of the overwhelming fear, you did what you did best—you talked.

"You know you're the talk of the town?"

"I am?" Stefan asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah," You continued. "I mean believe it or not, mysterious, brooding bad boys in leather moving to a small town like this—presumably to get a fresh start from his bad past that he never speaks about—tends to capture a lot of people's attention."

"Well I can't be the only one."

"What do you mean?"

"Well you're mysterious, brooding, you look like you also have a bad past and you tend to wear a lot of leather," He explained. You looked down at your leather jacket. "You're also, um...twinged in sadness."

"Okay first of all that's different because while my past is dark, it's no secret," You pointed out. At least some of it is no secret. "Second, how am I twinged in sadness? I'm a happy person! Do you know how many times I smiled today?"

"Yeah but how many of those smiles were real?"

Your smile faded. Had you really been that easy to see through? "Yeah I guess you're right. But after your parents dive off a bridge with you in the backseat, recovery isn't exactly easy."

"It never is," Stefan replied. You stopped, facing each other. He placed his beer bottle on the bridge parapet and reached for your hands. "You won't be sad forever, Y/N."

You glanced at his hands intertwined with yours. Stefan was...sweet. Aside from Matt, you'd never met a boy as sweet as him. His mere presence was so soothing. You cleared your throat. "You know, I believe in balance."

"Really?

"Mhm. For every loss, there's a gain. Things can't always be just good but they can't all be bad either. It's just important to recognize that nothing in life, including situations and...feelings, are permanent."

"I like that," He remarked, releasing one of your hands to grab his bottle and raise it." To balance."

"To balance," You repeated energetically, lifting your own cup. You clinked their drinks together and grinned. "Cheers."

As you drank, you stepped off the bridge, your heart rate elevating slightly as you did so. Stefan followed you. He lowered his bottle, and you narrowed your eyes at him, wondering if the lighting was somehow playing tricks on you.

"Are you okay?" You asked, stepping forward to get a better look. Black veins protruded around his eyes. It looked like...well, it looked kind of like Ryder, except more tame. But you couldn't get afraid. Maybe you were overthinking this. It was dark. You weren't seeing things clearly. There wasn't...there couldn't be. Not in Mystic Falls.

"Yeah, why?"

"Uh, maybe I'm a little tired but I swear it looks like your eyes are doing this freaky thing and it.." You shook your head. "I don't know."

"Oh, um..." He looked away, letting go of your hand to rub his eyes. "Yeah, it's nothing. Are you thirsty? I'm gonna go get us more drinks."

Before he even finished talking, he was rushing away. Anxiety practically radiated off of him. He was clearly lying. But you weren't just confused...you were worried.

What if he was sick and needed help? What if he was on some kind of strange drugs that induced darkened eyes and changed blood color? It could be a number of things...you couldn't go immediately to...Ryder's kind.

A few minutes passed and Stefan still hadn't returned. You didn't want to stay in the woods, especially by yourself, so you decided to head back. You walked over the bridge with heedful steps. When you finally crossed, it felt like an hour went by. And for a moment, you worried that Stefan just absentmindedly left you standing alone on a creaky bridge with no intention of coming back, assuming he didn't have anything wrong with him.

What if he really is on drugs? You thought as you joined your peers, searching for Bonnie or Caroline or anyone you knew really. Even running into Jeremy or Tyler Lockwood would give you something to do. You couldn't believe it—all these students in one place, and not a single one you actually knew?

"Looking for someone?" Matt's voice called out to her. Okay...so maybe not anyone you knew. You looked around for a respectful way to escape, but by the time he reached her, there was nothing you could do but sigh. "Hey."

You forced a smile. "Hey."

"Can we talk?"

I don't think that's a good idea. "Um...sure."

"When you broke up with me," He began and you winced. Oh shit, here we go. "You said it was because you needed some time alone. You don't look so alone to me."

You took a deep breath. "Matt...ever since I got back, I've tried reaching out to you, and all you've done is ignore me. But because I'm friends with the new kid, now I'm a priority?"

"Look, Y/N, I'm not here to fight you."

"Then why are you here?"

"I just want you to know that...no matter who comes along, I still believe in us. And I'm not giving up on that."

"What if I am?" You asked. You could see the confusion in his eyes and sighed. The last thing you wanted to do was hurt him, but you needed to tell him the hard truth, something you'd failed to do before.

"Matt, we're...we're not a good fit," You confessed. "You're a great guy, but...I'm not in love with you. I don't think I ever was, I just...I don't know, you were the only guy to see me. And everyone wanted us to be together and it seemed like the right thing to do.

But when everything happened, you were so loyal, even though I could see my distance was tearing you apart. I realized that I wasn't being fair to you but I was too...I didn't want to admit it. Because you deserve so much better than me, and I knew the moment I accepted that, we were done for good. I'm sorry."

Seeing the light dim in his eyes was brutal. You hated hurting him...he'd always been so kind to you. But he ignored every flaw you had to keep the relationship, and it had been killing you both. You had been too afraid to let him go because you loved him so much. But your love was selfish and destructive. He deserved love that was as generous and peaceful as him. And you deserved to grow and become someone you were proud of. Someone your parents would be proud of. You'd made many mistakes, and you'd hurt nearly every person you were close with, but this was your time to make amends.

Matt smiled, but it didn't meet his eyes. "It's okay. I'm glad we could be honest with each other. I'll, um...see you around."

You watched him go...wanting to reach for his arm and comfort him, but you knew that would do him no good. If you'd been honest before, he wouldn't be in so much pain right now.

To think there were more secrets....but if he knew what you did, he wouldn't even look at her. Maybe you should tell him. But if you told him, he'd tell Bonnie and Caroline. But didn't he deserve to know? Didn't he deserve to know that the girl he was pining over was a monster? Would that help the healing process? To cement in his mind that you weren't worth the trouble or grief?

You turned around to see Stefan approaching you and smiled warmly, but all traces of joy were vanquished as you heard a bottle smash into pieces. Your head whipped in the direction of the noise. Far off, an intoxicated Jeremy staggered into the woods.

"You have got to be kidding me," You muttered, shaking your head and already starting to follow him.

"What is it?"

"My brother is a junkie," You said under your breath. You didn't like the idea of him coming to a high school party and getting drunk or high like you did. This coping mechanism would do more harm than good.

You'd failed to protect him when your parents died. But it was a new year, new you. So you set out to make things right and go after him. If only you knew what was waiting for you in those woods.

Chapter Six