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“‘you say you have depression how does your depression feel like?’ she carefully asked. ‘it’s like waking up every morning to a breaking heart,’ I carefully replied. ‘and it feels like the entire day is already over when in fact the entire day has only just begun.’”
— juansen dizon, describing my depression to her
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you know what truly disgusts me… being able to feel my own heartbeat. it’s bad. don’t need to actively know what’s going on in there. don’t need to feel that. it’s not any of my business
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you have to understand that people who have been treated poorly and emotionally abused for a long time will always think they’re not enough for you.
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I don’t know what happened to us. Things sort of just fell apart. We were right for each other, and then we weren’t. Things around us started changing, we started changing, we drifted apart, we stopped trying so hard, we let each other go without even noticing. Nobody fought to stop it. It just happened - and then it was over.
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““I tried to be everything you wanted me to be. But all that did was ruin who I was.””
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i did this and it was cool
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i beg every single one of you to know your self worth. to know that if someone can’t give you themselves completely you don’t need to pretend they are. you can leave. things will be different but that doesn’t mean they will be bad. at least not forever. being alone isn’t the end of the world. love yourself. do the things i can’t do and i’ll say all of these things to you while i try to hammer them into my brain. while i try to convince myself,,.. i’ll live through you. i am a hypocrite. i am shit. know your self worth. leave when it’s bad but don’t wait until it gets worse. stop putting bandaids over it. your wound needs fresh air to heal.
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