alioness

[alioness]

disxillusixned‌:

Her words did little to ease his mind. On one hand James knew well enough that Remus could easily take care of himself, while on the other he couldn’t help but feel responsible for him as if his troubled life was his to take care of. And on the third hand he had already asked Remus and received an aswer. Deep in his thoughts — he sighed heavily, deciding to let go of the matter for now. Remus was an adult and apparently he was well enough to play James like a fiddle. 

‘That’s part of what I meant. I mean we knew something was problably going to happen. I just wish nothing did.’ It was his turn to lean closer to her, as his words no matter how vague could still point out clues that they should not. Though he was just as aware of their proximity as of the seriousness of their chosen topics — looking directly at her he could count all of her lashes and he was so tempted to do it, but after so many years of pinning after her and knowing that they are most likely forever going tostay friends, he wanted to be respectful — make sure there was no visible sign of his affection that could ever make her uncomfortable. 

Still, he’d much rather have them remain leaning towards each other. But she had moved away and he took that as a signal to mirror her action. ‘Well, the Ministry went into a usual dissarray so I had spent the day running around. You know on official business.’ As he added the last sentence, he winked at her sugestively as he simply meant that he had gotten no missions from the Order regarding the murders, but then why would he when they had charged so many others with it. Clearing his throat he added, ‘have you seen Dirk Creswell recently?’ Concert easily discernible in his voice. 

She was fairly content to be near him as she was, but at the same time everything felt a little disconnected. As much as she wanted to slide across and play the doting girlfriend ( she wasn’t yet, and maybe would never be, it depended on the mood of a day ) she knew that it wasn’t what was necessary at that moment, and she wasn’t keen on sending mixed signals. It wasn’t that she wasn’t into James, far from it, but she had an independent streak in her that wanted to deny her attachment for as long as possible.

As they spoke of business, it put her at ease, but at the same time she reached out to brush her fingers faintly — briefly — against the back of his hand, offering him an apologetic smile, “Hey, I promise I will do everything in my power to make sure Remus is always safe when he’s with me. I adore him as much as you do, you know.”

Part of her knew that wasn’t his concern, but at the same time the colour that had flushed to her face had caused a bit of a secondary disconnect in her mind. James made her feel things she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to feel, and as much as that was fine in general, she wanted to shift that subject to something they both had some semblance of control over: the offer to protect their friends.

At the mention of Dirk, she gave a grim expression and nodded, “Aye, earlier actually. He’d mentioned running into you but I didn’t want to pry in case it was something more personal than... I was able to talk about.”

Dirk’s business was as much his own as she could admit. She knew James wouldn’t betray her and go tell Dirk that she had admitted to talking to him, but at the same time she didn’t want to dig into that particular subject just in case, “... I’m worried about him, James.”

So rarely did she use his name like that, and her eyes fell to her hands and she became still and silent, an oddity for the young Lily Evans.

[alioness]

disxillusixned‌:

Remus left almost immediately — the words struck James like a lightning. That sneaky bastard! He knew James was coming to check in on them and he made it seem like he was resigned to that happening and yet the man had most definitely turned the situation into a setup. On any other day and without the shock factor James might have actually felt grateful for the opportunity to be alone with Lily like that, but he was honesty hoping to make sure both his friends were ok. The knowledge of Greyback’s involvement was still weighing heavily on his mind. 

He stole a glance in her direction, realizing that he had awkwardly kept his gaze focused slightly above her shoulder and as always was absolutely unable to read her expression. Of course, she was staring at her hands rather at him and it made his feel slightly uneasy. She wasn’t expecting him and sure they had been friends for a while now, they had even worked together as head students during their last year at school, but some encounters felt less easy than others. Especially when he knew he was purposefully being set up. Especially, the further he kept falling for the fiery redhead. Finally, he realized that she was speaking to him and he then took the seat in front of her. 

‘How are you holding up? You good?’ He frowned in concern watching how she kept her attention on her hands and took that opportunity to look over her frame for any visible cuts. ‘And Remus… How was he holding up?’ He added as an afterthought.

Lily would forever be a woman of sound mind, even in her most harried moments. She was nervous because of James’ proximity, but thankfully — with all that was going on with the murders — it could easily be passed off as concern for the situation at hand. That isn’t to say she wasn’t also concerned about what was going on, but she had belief in the Order as a whole and their cause enough to know that they wouldn’t let the darkness stand for long.

Her eyes jutted up from her hands as he spoke again, letting out a slow breath and offering a half-cocked smiled, “I wish we’d found more. No one got hurt, if that’s what you mean...” 

Desperate to keep their conversation between them, she lowered her voice and leaned in closer to James — thank the gods for small favors and reasons to get closer to him — and murmured, “We didn’t find nearly as much as I’d hoped, to be honest. Remus seemed a bit jumpy, considering, but I don’t think we came out of this with the information Alastor was hoping.”

As she finished, she pulled back slowly and offered another smile. To anyone looking on she might as well have been whispering sweet nothings, and the sudden realization that that was exactly what people would think felt color creeping up her neck and into her face. If he mentioned it, she’d pass it off as selling the act, but the truth was she’d wondered for a moment if she should just confess to him that he was... attracted? 

No, that word didn’t quite hold the right weight.

This dance had been going on for a while, and she wasn’t keen to let everything shatter in their hands while everything else was going on, “And you? what have you been doing in all this?”

[alioness]

obliviatorprewett‌:

“Mince.”  Nonsense.  “Someone approached you on a dark, foggy night.  You could have pulled your wand out and been justified.”  For her sake he wished that she had.  It was him today but it could have been anyone.  Better to face what was coming with a wand in hand.  Saying these exact words to Lily felt unconscionable though.  How could he blunt her spirit of wanting to do better, to face the world with more faith than he was willing to give it?  But Gideon felt he must say something, not as a caution or a plea, just gently offered perspective.  “It’s not wrong to be prepared.  Times are different.”

When he was a child, Gideon had loved when fog enveloped the city.  Chasing his siblings about their yard, unable to see until they were close, relying on the sound of soft giggles or crunching leaves to locate them.  The thrill of surprise when they found him first or he found them made them all look forward to the next foggy day.  What used to thrill provoked a different feeling now: caution. 

Gideon smiled, glad she had accepted.  No particular destination had been in his mind when he’d asked but he’d seen her coming from the direction of Gringotts.  A late night possibly.  The hours had slipped by tonight and even though he did not know the exact hour, he knew it was past dinner time.  “Have you eaten?”

She liked Gideon. He had a good heart and a good head on his shoulders, and in that she found peace with him. He was easy enough to talk to and seemed to try as hard as he could to empathise with people around him. It was a rare quality in a person, especially in this day and age, and she appreciated it more than he’d probably ever know.

A smile crossed Lily’s lips as she watched Gideon speak. One of her favorite pass-times included watching the way people’s faces animated as they spoke about things. You could see sincerity in someone’s expression quicker than you could hear it in their words. Affecting certain expressions always looked just so: affectation, and not reality. With Gideon, he was a genuine person.

“I haven’t eaten actually. I had meant to slip out of work a bit early and grab some dinner, but I got caught up in what I was doing and before I knew it was well past time to go home. So now my stomach’s empty and my brain is full of numbers.” Lily laughed and tilted her head, looking over at him curiously for a moment, “Shall we pop into the Leaky Cauldron and see what’s still ready on the menu?”

[alioness]

silenciocresswell‌:

“Just because a person asks for something doesn’t mean they should always get it.” he said quietly. If he’d been given the chance to let someone else discover what he’d seen he probably wouldn’t. Much as he’d like to have those memories gone he wouldn’t wish them on someone else. And erasing them wouldn’t fix the problem either since he’d just want to know what he’d made himself forget down the line. “It’s not good Lily, not at all. And I know you’re strong,” she was one of the strongest people he knew, “But it just… it feels like a weakness.” And he wanted to be strong, for his parent’s sake.

“A-and I haven’t really kept it to myself.” he looked ahead for a moment and worked to swallow, the motion caused his head to jerk forward some, like it was difficult. “T-to a close friend of yours actually, James.” he said, looking back over at her. He’d wondered a little about the two of them back in their school days but of course it hadn’t been his place to comment and (at the time) he’d half suspected he might’ve gotten a smack for daring to make an insinuation.

“But you’re right.” he laughed dryly, “I really do feel like something’s inside of me just making everything so much harder. I don’t think I’ll ever take a good night’s sleep for granted again.” he ran another hand through his hair and closed his eyes, the lids burning a little as if demanding he go and try again to rest.

“It’s not your fault.” He tried to shrug it off, “It’s mine for thinking it was a nice, safe idea to go off into the woods for walk at the Hogsmeade party. But it had just been so loud.” he’d never liked big parties or loud spaces. Lily probably knew that already since he hid in the corner of most of their Slug Club meetings and never stayed long for the larger holiday feasts in The Great Hall.

“A-and really it could’ve been worse, I mean I think-” he paused and licked his lips, leaning forward to whisper, “I swear I say a figure leaving the space where they’d been left… One I almost recognised.” One of his hands came up to rub his own arm, “I-If I’d been a few minutes earlier I might’ve seen too much.”

And just thinking about suffering the same fate as those people… He’d seen them around the department! They’d nodded when they past by… “I don’t feel strong Lily.” he said softly, “People like Alastor Moody, I saw him that night and ran to him, my legs barely able to keep me up and he didn’t even blink. Just shot off to go investigate. Like I’d told him I found some washing badly folded.” he shook his head slightly, “And here I am days later, still don’t feel safe and I can’t sleep for more than an hour.”

He’d often mediated with his father so the breathing came easily to him “I-I’ve tried this before… I think it works better with someone else.”

There was something to be said about people who saw traumatic events and continued on, even if with difficulty. The truth was, whether Dirk thought so or not, he was stronger than he could understand. He existed in a space that not many others had to occupy. Most of the populace would go their entire lives without seeing dead bodies up close and personal, let alone a close-call almost run-in with the murderer themselves. It was hard to think about even for Lily, and she fancied herself strong and brave most of the time.

The mention of James caught her by surprise, as it often did, but she didn’t react. Instead, she shook her head and lifted it from where she’d perched it on his shoulder, letting him speak — even when he’d pause for long swaths of time she just presented herself as an ear to listen until he felt compelled to full stop and look to her to say something — and truly just listening. Sometimes it’s all someone needed; someone to listen to you when things are going so utterly terribly that you’re unsure they’ll ever get better.

A few times she’d nod, letting him know she understood, and a couple of times her mouth twitched as if she was going to offer some response — an assurance or contradiction to his non-belief in himself — but still she managed to just listen, her hand moving out to pat his once or twice and guide him along until he’d seemed truly done speaking. 

Truly, it wasn’t until he mentioned breathing not working well for him as a deterrent that she offered him a look that bordered on bemusement and ( light ) annoyance, “Cress, don’t be daft. Breathing works for everyone you just have to want it to work. We get tangled up in our own heads with thoughts and feelings, so by that logic we should be able to untangle them. This isn’t something wrong with you, it’s something that happened TO you. That you can work with and work on.”

She was annoyed more at herself, because she was frustrated in her inability to do anything and also the fact that she had gotten a tiny bit short. Her voice lowered a bit, softer now, something he’d probably expect from his mother rather than a friend his own age, but with Lily came a wisdom of years that made her sometimes far too matronly, “If you want to fall apart, we can do that too, though. I’ll sit here, and you can fall apart, and I’ll hold you up.” 

Her head tilts and she offers him a smile — nothing too bright or forward, something soft and comforting — before resting her head back over on his shoulder, “You just have to tell me what you need and we’ll do it. I will say though, comparing yourself to Alastor Moody is bound to make you feel bad. He’s one of the most skilled Aurors in the world and spends, at least I assume, all of his waking hours devoted to things like that. You can’t afford to do that, you have a life and a family that you have to see and help take care of. We can’t afford to throw ourselves headlong into a cause like that...”

Even as she said it, she felt like a fraud. She did throw herself headlong into that, and though she convinced herself she took enough time for things outside of the Order, the truth of it was that she spent more time trying to focus on the war coming and averting it than she did living her life, “You and I have to make time to just be normal, right?”

[alioness]

silenciocresswell‌:

Dirk felt that lump in the back of his throat once again, it seemed omnipresent the last few days. He’d struggled to eat past it, only getting a few bits of toast down before giving up, his appetite seeming non-existent. He knew he needed to eat, sleep and drink more, he was seeing his parents in a few days and if he looked like this they’d be concerned… He wouldn’t lie to them, he’d never been able to lie to them.

He felt her grip on his arm and looked at it, face falling slightly and not commenting. Her hand was warm and he’d felt nothing but cold since that night in the forest, like he’d walked through icy water and just been unable to dry off. He went without a fight and seemed to half collapse onto the bench rather than sit as Lily did. His hands rested in his lap and his gaze remained fixed on them rather than the passing folk.

He didn’t respond for a few moments, though his tongue snuck out and wetted his dry lips. “I umm… It’s not really something I should burden you with.” he said, voice a little rough, “It wouldn’t be fair.” he managed to bring his head up, wide eyes looking into her own, seeming to shine with sadness. 

His heavy hand lifted and gripped hers on his shoulder, again he noticed the warmth of her hand against his, cold and clammy. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to ruin our day.” They seemed to be coming fewer and far between since all the darkness in the world rose to such a fever pitch. “I don’t know if I can eat.” he licked his lips again, “I-I’ve been trying but it’s like,” his eyes narrowed slightly, “There’s this lump in my throat.”

“I..” he paused again, looking away from Lily though his grip in her hand remained strong as ever, “I was the first person to… to know about the two… at the Hogsmeade festival.” That was the best way he could say it without saying it.  

“You’re right, it wouldn’t be fair to burden me with it... if I hadn’t just asked you to tell me about what was going on. It’s not a burden to let your friend help shoulder what you’re going through, that’s what we’re here for.” Lily offered almost immediately, then paused and closed her eyes, brushing her crimson hair back from her face as the breeze tried to catch it and bring it across her eyes, “Cress, we can’t... we can’t keep these things to ourselves. I know that’s what we’ve learned, it’s just what everyone learns, but we need to share these experiences before they eat us up inside.”

Lily might not have a ton of trauma in her life, but she’d been through her fair share of what people might call ‘angst moments.’ Not least of which was one of her best friends throwing her under the bus and calling her one of the most detestable words — especially to think of during this time — or her sister’s hatred of her for... jealousy? It was hard to tell with Petunia. It was slightly off-kilter, normal teenage stuff, but it was still trauma, no matter how small.

Reaching out to brush his hair back again, she made a sort of goofy face and her eyes crossed, exhaling in an almost exasperated fashion, “Come on...” but, what came after — when he explained having been the first to find them — she deflated visibly and furrowed her brow, “Cress, I’m so sorry...”

There wasn’t a way to fix that. You can’t take the sight of dead bodies stricken by fear out of your mind, and Lily might have signed up to deal with things like that... but Dirk hadn’t. He wasn’t a part of the war in the way that she was, and she would never have wished that on him even if he was a part of it. 

It was a long swath of silence before she dipped her head and let it rest gingerly against his shoulder, humming a soft tune for a moment. Something akin to a lullaby, maybe, but definitely peaceful. It gave them both a few moments to digest the information; he had given it and living with the fact that it had been vocalized, and she to process it and figure out what she could say.

“There’s nothing that’s going to erase that feeling,” came Lily’s reply, somewhat lamely at first, before pushing forward, “but we can move past it. We’ll never forget, or let their memories die... but we can survive this. YOU can survive this, Cress, you’re strong enough... but the first step is talking about it. Registering it and accepting it as reality. You can’t eat, and you need to... so you need to accept that this is something that happened to you. Something you cannot change... but something that you CAN and WILL survive.”

She tipped her head a bit on his shoulder to glance up at him, “Breathe in slowly, hold it for a few seconds, then exhale slowly... one breath at a time.”

[alioness]

Remus on his own was a highly reserved individual most of the time. If she knew what she needed to, she’d assume the reasons had to do with long nights because of his affliction, but as it stood everyone in the Order seemed tired on the best of days, so she chalked it up to that. She’d never have imagined he’d orchestrate something like that, whether for James’ benefit or detriment and blinked rapidly as the man approached, “Remus left almost immediately after we stopped in, said he had something to do and he knew I’d be fine alone?”

Whether he was setting his friend up or setting him up was hard to determine, but Lily gave a soft sigh and though her brows knit as if she were mildly annoyed, the truth was she was pleased to see James; him being alive and right in front of her meant that he hadn’t gotten swallowed up in everything else that had happened and that he was, at least for now, very much safe. 

“You might as well join me, there’s not a lack of seating or anything but you’re here and...” Lily struggled to find a reason that didn’t have to do with the fact that sometimes she just liked looking at James for a while. She’d never let him know — at least not anytime soon, at least not in confirmation... he probably knew somewhere, deep down in his heart — just how much she liked being around him. She had a reputation to keep, what with their tenuous relationship at school and... was relationship the right word? Now her face flushed with the thought and she dipped her head to look down at her hands as if concerned for some small scrape or cut she’d endured.

“Just sit, Potter. I could use the company... things are tense, but to put it lightly.”

Where: The Leaky Cauldron  When: The day of the Event With: @alioness

With a relieved sigh James hid the Two-Way Mirror in his pocket. He had just finished checking in on Moony (and by extension on Lily) cleverly masking his personal worry with a facade of a curious friend. Of course, he could tell easily that Remus had been able to perfectly read James’ real intentions, but then again could he really blame him for his constant concern after knowing him for so long? After all, no other person than Greyback had been spotted around the murder scene and whenever that man’s name got thrown into the mix James couldn’t help the trepidation that settled uncomfortably in his stomach. 

But apparently, everything was alright, at least Remus had claimed so in accompany of an eye-roll and a slightly annoyed tone — a normal reaction to James’ motherly side making a wild appearance. And in the end, James had no other option than to believe his best friend and drop the subject, but not before asking after Lily and her well-being (was he being paranoid? maybe), to which Remus replied (with a smirk that time, that little bastard) that they were planning on grabbing something to eat in the Cauldron before parting ways. And of course, as lovesick as James was he had no other option, but to take the bait and meet them there for a wide variety of reasons that he’d rather not talk about. Only, Remus actually wasn’t anywhere to be seen when James finally entered the pub and had, with little to no problems, spotted the redhead. ‘Ah! Evans.’ he greeted from afar, her surname rolling easily from his tongue. ‘Long time no see. Where’s Remus? He said he was going to be here with you and I was in the neighbourhood so I thought I will actually keep you guys company?’

[alioness]

silenciocresswell‌:

“Good. That’s good.” One small thing that was going right while everything else felt unhinged. He’d done all he could to try and worm his out of this himself, he’d drunk tea, attempted to mediate, gone through Akido drills, watched a few VHS’ in his flat… Nothing worked. He still found himself unable to sleep or of he did then it was only for an hour or so before the haunting images of the massacre in Hogsmeade forest had him bolting upright in bed, wet with sweat and panting as though he’d been though eight sparring matches.

It was pathetic, but that seemed to be a running theme for him these past few days, so he lent into the hug with a little more force than he would’ve usually. Lily had a tendency to mother him and usually he needed to guide her from it. Now though? He felt he could go to her when he couldn’t worry his parents with this news, they wouldn’t understand, it wasn’t their world. It was his burden.

“I’m… not well, Lily.” he answered, pulling back slightly, closing his eyes as she brushed his messy hair back, “I have heard the news. But I knew about it before the news was published.” he licked his lips, “I’ve barely slept a handful of hours these past few days.” And that was a generous estimate.  

The look came out of habit, as he’d grown in Hogwarts he’d realised hiding behind Lily Evans (while a sure fire way to remain safe) was not a way to live at peace with himself. “I’m sorry,” he closed his eyes, “Sitting would be nice.” So much for not wanting to burden anyway else… pathetic. “I feel like this is just pressing on me and it’s relentless.” 

Lily, a woman who was adept with the knowledge that being protected was great but standing on your own two feet was better, knew just how to handle things like this. At least for the most part. This situation was a little more difficult than most because if she were understanding correctly he’d seen things before they’d even been released to the Aurors and the Order, which meant... he was going through much worse than she’d feared.

Rather than grabbing his hand, she slid her own up to his bicep and guided him towards a nearby bench — a good thing about the muggle world is they ( and in part she ) got very tired from walking since they couldn’t just apparate everywhere, and there were always ample seating options for someone to take in between — and sat, allowing him to fall onto the bench next to her at his own pace.

There wasn’t a lot she could say or do, and she realized that full-on doting would do nothing for this feeling, so she shifted to a slightly different gear: shrouded doting. A hand came out to rest on his shoulder and she offered him a smile, “Look, whatever it is you can talk to me about it and I promise to keep my lips sealed.”

That was a promise she could keep because she was more than sure that the Aurors would know most of what he would say to her already ( or would soon ) and she’d have no need to spill it... at least the important stuff. The more personal stuff — the bits that were likely dragging him down — were the ones she needed; the ones she had to have to help him through it.

“We’re probably not gonna get to shopping today, and we’ll figure out food in a bit, but honestly? It’s fine. As long as we’re together, right?” Friendship was something Lily could offer in abundance, and she wanted to —  Dirk mattered to her.

[alioness]

Everything had gone to hell within a manner of hours and she’d been served her orders ( along with Remus ) and knew she had a job to do, but she also knew that neither Remus nor Moody would fault her want to make sure her friends were safe. She had time, and they all had the means to make this investigation work, so she kept her date with Dirk; he was one of her best friends from school and she refused to let that fall to the wayside because people were trying to destroy the very existence or she and Dirk’s kind.

As he wandered up, his voice sounding weak and she knew why, she moved forward and immediately curled her arms around his form, giving him a squeeze before pulling back to look him over. She very much fit the part of a doting mother within the body of a twenty-something rebellious young woman. Her hand came up to brush his hair a bit and she exhaled, “You didn’t keep me waiting. How are you? I imagine you’ve heard the news.”

Did she know he’d been so close to what had happened? What he’d seen? It’s likely she didn’t, as information was on a need to know basis and she wasn’t in the realm of needing to know every detail, but her friend looked tired and she knew the rebellion was taking a toll on everyone, “You look tired, Cress... have you been sleeping?”

Shopping was the agenda, but the likelihood that Lily would simply dote upon him and stuff him fool of muggle food until he felt better seemed far more likely at this point, “Do you want to sit? Shit, am I doting on you too much? I feel like you’re giving me that tired ‘please stop I’m not a baby’ look.”

When: Present Day  Where: London - Westfield Shopping Centre  With: Lily @alioness​

Dirk had gotten very lucky meeting Lily in school. The pair of them had been singled out for their talents and certain individuals at Hogwarts hadn’t been keen on the idea of Muggle-Borns having such academic success. They’d formed a close bond in the Slug-Club and that friendship was something he’d forever be grateful to Professor Slughorn for helping to make, especially when they got old enough to enjoy muggle activities together outside of the school. 

Sometimes little things like arcades, muggle clothes shops or going to the cinema were a special treat when so few actually shared knowledge of them. He had agreed to go shopping with Lily today but his heart wasn’t in it. It was only days after the Hogsmeade festival and what he’d seen that night still haunted him, sleepless nights leaving deep purple bruising under his eyes. But this was a much needed distraction that would hopefully give him a good afternoon with a dear friend.

“Lily,” he called when he spotted her, his voice managing to be loud yet not shouting at the same time. His green hair made him easy to spot in a crowd so he doubted she’d have trouble seeing who called to her. Closing the distance between them he nodded, “It’s good to see you. I hope I haven’t kept you waiting?” 

[alioness]

Her outing with Remus had been under the guise of not being anything suspicious or untoward, to blend in and seem as if they were just out being them. Her flaming hair was back in a plait and she was nondescript in about every way possible, having tried to blend in and finding herself suddenly wrapped in the arms of one of her best friends. Strange to think that at one point she’d been absolutely sure Marlene had hated her and now she couldn’t imagine her life without her.

Different sides of the same coin, or perhaps a die that she, Marlene, Mary, and Dorcas made up all the sides of, flipping through the air and bouncing across the table and ready to make the world stand on its edge to see their outcome.

Her head dipped to press her forehead softly against Marlene’s shoulder and she offered her a conspiratorial smile. This action, in and of itself, the meeting and the suddenness of it, lent itself so well to the idea of ‘blending in’ that she couldn’t imagine Remus even had an issue with their sudden sidebar. No one could have stopped Marlene from doing what she’d wanted, to be honest, and that was one of the things Lily loved about her, “Oh, you know, being a muggle-born in a time that seems dangerous to be one. The usual.”

There was a playfulness to the two of them but beneath it a serious tone of concern. She was sure the other was worried about her well-being and had come to check on her because of what had happened earlier. It could have just as easily been Lily at that point. It could have been any of them.

As Remus gave them space, she slid her fingers down along Marlene’s arms and to her wrist, then her hands, grasping them tightly and squeezing before looking over the other woman’s face with concern, “And you? I know things have to be... hard for you, considering... all you’d have to do right now is let go of me and a few others and you’d be safe as houses...”

Marlene never would, and that’s why she and Lily saw eye to eye, so to speak. Their safety would never trump the safety of their friends, and the world, “Mars... tell me you’re being safe?”

Lovely Lily. There used to be a curl of sarcasm at the end of it, a jarring cut of annoyance, for a girl who was so clever yet so oddly placed within the house of Gryffindor. How competitiveness had formed a sense of irritation in her early that only ever dissipated when she realized that the nickname wasn’t some hardened sword to cut with, but rather a reality of the person on the other end. Mars wasn’t exactly the girl who knew best how to moderate the swings and misses of her own life and personality, rocky roads and ups and downs, and her BEST FRIENDS, all, there to help her weather the storm, to temper her anger, to change her, she believes, for the better. After all, it was all too easy to see the kind of girl she could have been had she continued down that pureblooded lane, of going to parties and dreaming of some empty-headed marriage, though, she doubts she would have ever fit that mold, with or without her lady loves at her side to guide her.

But where does that guidance leave them now, when scattered, when made to bend, to new rules and roles to help them protect the future that they had dreamed together? One in which bloodline held no consequence, where the weight of a person was measured in the things that they did, OVER ALL OTHER THINGS. One in which they did not fear whispered names nor wondered who would be next to disappear, she breathes out, a little sigh of recompense and worry, as she moves through Hogsmeade’s streets in contemplation with Gideon, trying to track those who’d last seen those who had been found within the woods, dead as a door nail, closer to the Order than they cared to admit.

Lily’s with Remus, she’s been told, but she wants just a scant moment alone, stolen as they pass like strangers, and Mars whirls about, a hand at the other’s shoulder, “Sorry, mate.” tossed in Remus’ direction with a cocksure grin that feels more like HER than anything lately, arms wrapping about Lily in a snap. “I’ve missed this. I’ve missed you.” These things feel like forbidden words, fingers pushing back at her hair with peering, curious eyes in shrapnel, steely blues. “Before we jump into the whole, have you found anythings, I’m more dying to know how you’ve been. Sight unseen.”

– @alioness​

[alioness]

where: the cross-section of Diagon and Knockturn Alleys

when: midday

who: lily and @moonscflupus

They’d been there for hours, a flurry of activity easily used to fly beneath the radar of what they were actually doing. People were in a panic, and it seemed as if everyone was trying to get as much stuff as they possibly could in case things went from worse to worst. Lily and Remus had been tasked — by Moody himself, no less — with tracking down whatever they could in the busiest place in wizarding society.

It meant that she was clothed as inconspicuous as possible, her flaming hair tied back into a neat plait down her back and her robes also nondescript, and that she often stopped at windows, reaching out to lightly grab Remus’ robe to point at something in a window and, if only for a moment, speak hurriedly and hushedly as if she too was planning for the worst, when in reality her words were far more desperate than all that, “Everyone’s in a panic.”

The words didn’t match the frenzy at which they came, finding herself and Remus blending into the panicked crowds far easier than she’d thought. No one was giving them any attention at all, too worried about themselves and not even bothering to cover their tones as they spoke. Fear was the underlined word in most people talking, but it was the quieter tones and people stealing down smaller alleys that stole Lily’s attention. 

She breathed out and dragged Remus suddenly towards the opening of one alley, trying desperately to hear the whispers of its occupants as they stole away, and — both hopeful and not, because as much as she wants information to give to Alastor she truly hopes that this isn’t part of a grander conspiracy — listens in closely, nodding to Remus to do the same. In reality, she’s waiting for an opening to follow them without suspicion, her own emotions keyed up by the murders and what was inevitable to follow.

[alioness]

silenciorosier‌:

“Please,” he gestured slightly, “There’s no need for apologies. The world being as it is there’s more value in caution.” Evan knew that, and he knew exactly what cards to play to get around it. This girl was new, unfamiliar, and Evan preferred to stalk his prey before sinking his proverbial teeth in. No, this would be nought but a initial, perhaps something would come of it, perhaps not.

“We’re living in uncertain times, it’s disheartening. Makes my work, if you can really call it that, more difficult.” And that was half-true. Attempting to garner interest for charitable causes was a little more difficult while people were frightened of stepping outside their front doors. Well… less fortunate people at any rate.

He moved his hands behind his back and linked them loose as he walked, making sure to keep a respectable distance between them and wear his most charming smile. “Indeed. And should anything go awry, two wands are better than one,” he chuckled lightly. “Oh it was just a meeting with friends. I know several ministry workers and they needed a night to relax. Things are somewhat tense there.”

“What about yourself? Returning from a busy evening?” he paused a moment and added, “Ah, forgive me I’ve taken leave of my manners, might I ask your name?” Evan questioned, looking over slightly.  

Apologies were her forte, and truly she wasn’t sure how to act when she wasn’t trying to make sure she wasn’t offending someone — at least in times when they hadn’t seemed to deserve it; she wasn’t a monster. 

Her companion, however...

Lily was none the wiser at that point on the nature of her escort. It wasn’t as if there was a list of names of people who were tangled upon in supposed muggle-violence and Voldemort centric activities. To make accusations felt wrong to her like she was falling into the same patterns that the Death Eaters themselves followed. This wasn’t a witch hunt.

She lifted her gaze to look over at Evan, realizing she’d been silent for a span of beats and jerking out of that reverie at just the right time, “Oh! I’m so rude, I’m Lily,” She extended her hand out to Evan from her position at his side, “Lily Evans. And to be honest? I wasn’t doing anything fun, I had just left work down the alley that’s all. I could have apparated home I guess... but sometimes I like walking in the moonlight, you know?”

There was a streak in Lily that craved danger, and this was the worst time to let that feeling out. One day it would lead to her downfall, but she refused to curb who she was because people were trying to change the world for the worse.

[alioness]

bella-donna-trixsoblack‌:

There was something birdlike about the way Bellatrix cocked her head to the side. It was how a harpy eagle might eye the field mouse that just skittered into view, the moment of interest and contemplation before wings spread and talons clicked with anticipation. Though maybe the little redhead was more akin to a porcupine than a field mouse. 

Still prey, if a touch more difficult to dig her claws into with a direct approach.

“Protect yourself,” Bella repeated flatly, though amusement colored her voice as she gave the slender girl a swift up and down. There was an ‘if-you-say-so’ in the way her eyebrow arched. “If declaring a distaste for being followed is your idea of ‘protection’ I might suggest considering alternatives. Having your wand at the ready, for example.” 

Considering the mudblood’s empty hands for a moment, when she lifted her narrowed eyes back onto the young woman the smile that slithered to fore was undiluted venom. The rise and fall of her shoulders was affable as Bella murmured a blasé, “As you said, dangerous times.”

She glanced over her shoulders at the girl’s observation, back toward the boutique she perhaps should have made a mess of before leaving. Smiling impishly to herself, Bella refocused on the witch in front of her instead of the tearstained coward moving the curtains into place. Looking as content as a kitten drunk on creme, she mused, “I’m not entirely sure what one has to do with the other. How are my fun and your safety related?” 

It was a spider’s smile that she offered a girl who hadn’t any idea just how closely related those two things were. Bella longed for her hood, for the mask that meant her fun went unrestrained, and debunked the safety of muggle-borns as an illusion with all the substance of the low lying fog at their feet. 

Her grin stretched wider, devilry glinting in her eyes when the red haired witch shifted her stance sideways as if to let her pass. “Distract me?” she cooed, a hand to her chest, just over her heart. “That would imply that you are worthy of my interest in any capacity.” Brows tightening in a pitying crease, Bella jutted her bottom lip out in a pout that lasted all of a second before her viper’s grin slithered to the surface again. 

“Safe walk home, miss.” She winked at the witch before disapparating from view rather than taking another step toward the mudblood.

If two lions circle each other long enough, they’ll die of exhaustion more likely than one would give up on the other. So there stood two women — alike in fierceness and mettle though not in nature — staring one another down as if the other might be the least of their concern. Lily knew enough to fear ( fear is healthy, fear keeps you safe as long as you know how to temper it ) but refused to let her head bow and to fall in line with what might make Bella happier; she was no one’s lesser and she refused to act as such.

Fear was important — especially of a creature so like a predator as the one who stood before, a witch of some renown and reputation — but her hand moved no closer to her wand than it had been when she thought she’d been followed, “I don’t know, I feel a bit like threatening someone with a wand would be worse than asking first if I were being followed — even as accusatory as mine might have been.”

She knew she was speaking to dead-air even before Bellatrix had left, as her words meant as little to the pureblood witch as she imagined being called a mudblood by the other had affected her; they knew who they were and what they were worth, at least in their own minds, and it didn’t matter a bit what the other measured them by.

She had gone to reply, to say goodbye with a spit of venom and her own turn on a heel, but Bella was gone and she was left staring at nothing. A string of curses that would have made her mother blush and likely only translated into anything hurtful to other muggles spilled from her lips, before louder, perhaps only to herself, “I’m gonna lose my head one of these days.”

She wished more for company home in that moment, but rather than apparating and showing again a hand of fear that no one need know she had in that moment, she turned and took a booted step down the alley again, head held high.

[alioness]

silenciomary‌:

Mary wasn’t expecting to come across Lily tonight. This hadn’t been intentional. She had just finished up closing up The Magical Menagerie, and was starting to head out, walking through Diagon Alley, which is what she likes to do. She could’ve just apparated back to her house, but she likes walking. She likes to keep some sort of muggle activities in her life. She doesn’t want to completely forget her original identity, even if it doesn’t really matter. Besides, walking helps clear her head. 

She hadn’t meant to come across anyone, and she wasn’t expecting Lily. But now that she sees her beloved redheaded friend, she hangs back, keeping an eye on her. She should’ve just run to catch up with her and make sure she got home okay with Lily knowing that she’s there. She knows Lily is intuitive, and it’s no surprise that she speaks up. She feels guilt rise up inside of her when she hears the words and it makes her feel bad that she worried one of her best friends. 

“It’s just me, Lils,” Mary speaks up, loud and clear, and starts to close the distance between the two of them. “Sorry, I just… wasn’t expecting you out here tonight and I was just going to follow you to make sure you got home okay. Not sure why I didn’t just catch up to you.” She pauses for a moment, and then rests her hand on Lily’s arm. “I’m sorry if I scared you.”

Lily had spent a lot of her time in the muggle world — so had Mary for that matter — and you tend to react differently to people following you because of that fact. You’re taught fear, especially as a woman, at a younger age than you’d expect and how to carry yourself so that you don’t invite any ill will. While Lily tends to buck the latter, insisting that it shouldn’t be her job to change herself so that others can control themselves, she does spend a little more time in caution.

It’s worse now in the Wizard society, and she gets that too. Worse yet for her, a muggle-born witch who refuses to bow to what some might wish her too. She’s basically a giant flare in the middle of a dark street begging for something to happen, and yet still she chose to walk instead of apparating. 

Lily refused to be afraid.

Even if fear touches upon the back of her mind, and it’s apparent with her reaction to anyone even remotely near her moving in silence, she refuses to show a brazen face of fear that apparates the second she steps out of her job at Gringott’s, or refuses to spend time in the outdoors at night which she quite enjoys.

She does, however, have the good sense to look sheepish as she realizes it’s Mary, exhaling and relaxing visibly in the presence of her friend. The hand on her forearm is clasped by her own and she pats the back of the other witch’s hand gently, “I am so sorry, you can’t be too safe these days. I should have known it was you anyway, you’ve always walked softly like a cat it’s sort of unnerving but in the best way.”

Now, she seemed far more relaxed — easy and breezy, as one might say — her stance had shifted to something informal and playful; no one would hurt her with Mary there, and vice versa, “That being said, what are you doing out so late? I know I’m one to talk, Mare, but... both of us aren’t exactly...” she drops her voice as if saying it louder would make her feel weak somehow, “safe..”

[alioness]

[alioness]

C H A R A C T E R: S T A T S

FULL NAME: Lily Evans NICKNAME(S): Lily, Evans, Sweet Lily DATE OF BIRTH: January 30th NATIONALITY: British OCCUPATION: Arithmancer at Gringott’s Bank RELIGION: Open-minded GENDER IDENTITY: cis female SEXUAL ORIENTATION: pansexual ETHNICITY: British

C H A R A C T E R: A P P E A R A N C E

FACE CLAIM: Katherine McNamara HEIGHT: 5′5″  WEIGHT: 52 kg (114 lbs) HAIR COLOR: Red EYE COLOR: Green DOMINANT HAND: Left SCARS: None that are too distinctive, but minor little scars littering her hands from her cat and work with plants. TATTOOS: She has a half-moon above her right hip and a small, decorative lily at the top of her breast whose stem winds down between both. PIERCINGS: Both ears have three each and the left ear has a piercing at the top with a small star stud.

C H A R A C T E R: B A C K G R O U N D

HOMETOWN:  Cokeworth, England.  Great Britain. CURRENT RESIDENCE: London BLOOD STATUS: Muggleborn EDUCATION LEVEL: Hogwarts; keen determination produced everything else.

[alioness]

obliviatorprewett‌:

While hardly the only pub in London to claim Gideon Prewett a regular, the Leaky Cauldron held a special place in the man’s heart.  Over its hundreds of years of operation, it had been played a part in countless life stories and indeed, it had been the scene of some small pieces of Gideon’s own history.  Tonight hadn’t been remarkable but it had added another entertaining night to the many these walls had seen.  It had been a long day but with drink and good cheer, the worries of the day had quickly melted away and when he left hours later it was feeling far lighter of heart than when he’d entered.

Gideon had only taken a few steps into the foggy night when he saw Lily pass by.  Excusing himself from his friends, he rushed to catch her up but the calm rebuke had him pulling up short.

“Not my intention,” he apologized, waiting for her to turn around.  They were close enough now that she should would be able to make out his face despite the fog but he held up his hands to show he was no threat regardless.  “I hoped to catch up.  It’s just me, Lily.“  Lily Evans.  Gideon liked the strong-minded redhead but also never felt entirely at ease with her either.  It wasn’t really about Lily but rather her profession.  He’d had his share of arithmancy classes prior to becoming a curse breaker but experience had made him a little distrustful of the science.  Something about the art of prediction never sat well with him, making him feel the future was somehow predetermined rather than forged.

“Mind if I join you?”

Lily’s expression and stance relaxed almost immediately. Gideon was as much of a threat to her as her own cat, truthfully. She knew he’d likely never do anything to hurt her if he could do anything about it as much as he would know the same were true on her end. It made it easier for her to slip into an apologetic smile and allowing her arms to relax at her sides, no longer so tense and near towards her wand.

“Really it’s my fault. I shouldn’t let the world, as it is, influence how I treat it. It’s sort of counter-productive,” she began with a sigh, before brushing her hair back behind an ear and casting a glance up at the moon, “I don’t mind at all. Other than going home I hadn’t really had a destination in mind, but at the same time I wasn’t wholly eager to go there immediately.”

Another smile was offered to Gideon as her gaze dropped back to his face. He honestly seemed so kind, but also a bit like something beneath the surface was bothering him at all times — an internal itch — and she could sympathize with that, “Do you have any ideas?”

If she knew of his annoyance at Arithmancy, she could probably commiserate. She didn’t treat it as predictive magic but more as a mathematic science. She had far more time and knowledge in those areas than some of the people she knew, as she’d spent her youngest years in muggle society learning those things. She approached Arithmancy as it needed to be approached, but refused to ever trust it on things such as her own life’s path; numbers at a bank were one thing, but everything else was up in the air.

[alioness]

bella-donna-trixsoblack‌:

“Is he paying you to say no to me? Because I swear to Merlin I will ruin the both of you.”

“Miss Black, please. I’m not saying no, only that I can’t know who designed his robes until I’ve seen them for myself.”

There was sweat on her brow as she lifted placating hands, looking like she might cry. Bellatrix sneered. If the hag wanted to cry, she was more than happy to give her something to cry about. Her ire wasn’t even about the robes anymore. Now this weak, pathetic creature was the source of her annoyance. ‘Have some backbone, you coward,’ she thought as she glared at the older witch. 

Evan had warned that his robes for the Wizarding Statute celebration had been one of a kind, but Bellatrix didn’t like being denied anything, and had been determined to track down his designer for herself. She had engagement dinners and wedding plans to dress up for, after all. What was so wrong with a girl wanting to look her best?

Visiting Diagon Alley to interrogate the boutique owners had been fruitless, the night a waste since all she’d gotten were excuses, apologies, and the horrified looks of cowards afraid she’d do something unconscionable; like burn their livelihoods to the ground. Which, honestly, should have been a legitimate concern. But Bella was nothing if not the picture of restraint and etiquette, able to keep her calm no matter the situation… no wait. That was Narcissa. 

“Find. Out.” she snarled through grit teeth before whipping her robes and storming out of the boutique, knocking over a mannequin in the process for spite. “Merlin help you if you don’t have a name when I return.”

Once outside she straightened her cloak, grinning to herself as she started down the cobblestone street, content in the brief chaos of that encounter. There was nearly a skip to her step as she went, until she noticed the figure in front of her. Then Bella’s lips pursed with curiosity. Who would be out and about so late, and what fun could that possibly mean for her?

The female voice was vaguely familiar and when the red haired witch spun around to face her Bellatrix nearly rolled her eyes. Actually, she did roll her eyes, slowing her steps so that the edgy little thing didn’t get any more spooked. 

“And I really don’t like my money being managed by filthy mudblood hands.” She pursed her lips, and gave the girl an unimpressed appraising up and down. After a moment, she sighed, bored, and brushed her hair away from her face. “Relax,” said Bella. “If I wanted to bore myself to tears and waste my entire night, there are countless other options I’d settle on before deciding to follow you.”

Now if Bellatrix had her hood and mask, they’d be having a different conversation entirely.

There was the word that, before she’d become a witch, had meant absolutely nothing to her. Being called a mudblood as a child would have been a clever insult, surely, but once she’d found out what it meant and what exactly it implied, she had learned to loathe it with all the fire in her soul.

To that, however, she’d also learned not to show that reaction on her surface. Though fire may burn in the pit of her chest, fueling her desperation to be the best and show them just how fast they could eat those words, her face would forever be a mask of unimpressed quietude; unruffled.

It took everything she had most of the time to bite back the retorts she had for people who would say those things. She was perfectly capable of defending herself, and there had only been one time when that insult had truly crippled her — she could still see his face when he uttered them and remember the feeling of her heart as it shattered in her chest, even if the world had only seen her annoyance on the surface — and she refused to let someone, even the noble Ms. Bellatrix Black, see her bristle from such an insult.

“I’d say forgive me, but I’ve done nothing wrong in attempting to protect myself. It’s a dangerous time.” Lily might not have risen to the insult, but it didn’t mean she was above poking a bear for the sake of it; she often got in trouble from her friends — those who cared about her the most — for doing things just like that, but it was hard not to when she’d already swallowed so much bile to get to that point, “Besides, from the looks of that woman closing up her shop you’ve already had a bit of fun.”

Lily’s heart went out to the woman, her face still slick with tears as she made sure to close up everything and, very likely, immediately go to work trying to find the information that Bella had wanted.

No one denied Bellatrix Black, after all.

“I wouldn’t dare keep you, so don’t let me distract you any further.” She shifted her position and turned, if only slightly, still not truly trusting the woman at her back and knowing somewhere deep within her bones that, given the opportunity, Bellatrix would obliterate her from the face of the alley as easy as she breathed.