MY LAST TWO POSTS MOTTTHEEERRRFCIK OCKCMFND PULLL URSELF TOGETHER
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i rly need to stop drinking
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genuinely cant tell if i have a drinking problem or not hahah what who said that
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ive lost so much weight because im so sad i cant eat that ive reached my goal weight but it’s not worth it because im sad. food wont help not in the way it used to but sleep would but i cant sleep if i dont eat and i cant eat because im sad and im sad because i cant sleep because i cant eat. a never ending circle of depression. i need to get out.
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little by little i will save my life and the rot in my stomach will swell into something sweet and it’ll sit on my tongue and i will think to myself how silly it is to wallow when there is a sun that shines and hands that reach for other hands. little by little i will remember every vessel in me bears the promise that most sweet things shall stay alive for as long as i live alongside them. little by little i will leave my head for the real world and i will fearlessly dangle my feet on tall grass and without hesitance reach for a star knowing with absolute certainty that i can never hold it close or call it mine and that it’ll never love me back or yearn for me half as much. so here we are, me and my hope, and our only means of staying tethered together which is through the little by the little. little by little i will save my life not as some monumental course-altering endeavour of bigness and bravery and prettyness like in the poems… but by simply putting my life in warm clothes.
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