all-the-things-i

[all-the-things-i]

Why do I feel that my life consists of being angry about the things I am not capable of doing?

[all-the-things-i]

always remember, you do NOT deserve the pain, you did NOT "earn" it, it's not some kind of karma that you have to pay for, it's NOT your fault, you're not guilty for your illness and never will

[all-the-things-i]

notes for my impostor syndrome:

• no, it's not painful to walk for abled-bodied people

• no, healthy people don't usually use every chance they get to lean against walls or sit down

• no, ableds don't dream about shower stool

• no, ableds don't celebrate days when they're not in pain. because usually they're not in pain

• no, ableds don't want to stop walking mid-way, lay down on the ground, curl up and cry and whine from pain

• no, ableds aren't exhausted by their own bodies 24/7

[all-the-things-i]

The undiagnosed chronic illness cycle

[all-the-things-i]

anyway here's to disabled people who are not healing. disabled people who are not recovering, ever. people with disabilities that only get worse and worse over time. people who cannot access treatment for their disabilities or whose disabilities simply aren't treatable. people who know they'll only get more and more disabled as time goes on. people who know their disability will kill them sooner or later. you are seen, you are important, you are not dead weight, and you deserve support.

[all-the-things-i]

doctors care more about weight loss than helping a fat chronic pain patient not suffer from crippling pain 👍🏻 what a world

[all-the-things-i]

I love you disabled people who should really use mobility aids but don’t yet have the money or confidence to do so

[all-the-things-i]

"Autism isn't a disability, it's just an alternate neurotype!"

I'm level 1. That's pretty mild, in terms of difficulty, compared to many other autistic people. And even so, I will never be able to live and work as easily as someone without autism.

To give a basic idea of how autism impacts my life beyond simply being an "alternate neurotype..." I started college last year and I've gone to cry in the bathrooms so many times because the classrooms are too bright and loud, or because I embarrassed myself by misunderstanding directions that were clear for everyone else. I have to layer entire outfits under my volunteer work uniform so the texture doesn't touch my skin, even when it's hot out. I struggle with understanding assignments so I'm usually up past midnight working on them, even if it's a smaller assignment that my classmates are finishing in under an hour. I've had people pull me aside to tell me that I'm making people uncomfortable by not looking them in the eyes, making the wrong facial expressions, or just rocking back and forth too much. Sometimes I get so overstimulated that I freeze up and can't say more than a couple words at a time. I've skipped meals because the only things I could find had textures that make me want to vomit. Being autistic isn't all misery and suffering, but there are undeniably many aspects of it that are disabling.

And, again, I'm only level 1. The "mild" end. Everything I just talked about is way harder for level 2 and 3 autistic people. I have a level 3 brother who can't mask his autism at all, is completely nonverbal, and will probably never be able to go to college at all, let alone work a job or live without a caregiver. It makes me fucking enraged that people insist that autistic people like him don't exist just because they don't want themselves, the Good, Perfectly Abled Autistics, to be associated with people like him, the Bad, Disabled Autistics.

If you're autistic and can genuinely say you're not disabled by it at all, that's... Interesting. I'm honestly curious about how you can have the symptoms of autism and not be disabled in the slightest. But even if you've miraculously received some version of autism that never even inconveniences you, that does not mean that autism isn't a disability, or that other autistic people aren't disabled by it. Please quit throwing other autistic people under the bus.

[all-the-things-i]

If you were to attend a workshop centered around disability and/or ableism, what would you want to gain from it?

Please share to reach a wider audience! both disabled and non-disabled perspectives are welcomed!

[all-the-things-i]

I wake up in pain, spend all day in pain then go to sleep in pain. This cycle then repeats on a never-ending loop. But sure Karen feel free to complain that i get a parking space closer to the door than you.

[all-the-things-i]

If You’re Gonna Make Something Wheelchair Accessible, Don’t Make it a Thing

Here’s some examples awkward accessibility being a thing:

Your at a hotel that has a lift to get you from one sub-floor to another, but the lift can only be unlocked and operated by one specific person that the hotel now has to go find. Sure, they’ve made the entrance to the sub-floor is accessible, but now it’s a thing.

The buses are wheelchair accessible but the driver has to stop the bus, take 30 seconds to lower the goddamn ramp, move passengers out of their seats, hook up the straps and then secure you in the bus. Sure, they’ve made the busses accessible but now it’s a thing.

The restaurant has an accessible entrance, but it’s past the trash room and through the kitchen. Sure, the restaurant is accessible, but now it’s an insulting thing.

Here’s some great examples of accessibility not being a thing:

The train to the airport pulls up flush with the platform. I board with everyone else and sit wherever the fuck I want. Riding the train is accessible and not a thing.

In Portland, I press a button the side of the streetcar and a ramp automatically extends at the same time the door opens. I board in the same amount of time as everyone else. This is not a thing.

I get that it is difficult to design for wheelchair accessibility, but folks need to start considering the overall quality of the experience versus just thinking about meeting the minimum requirements.

[all-the-things-i]

I don't think I've ever met a disabled person who didn't have the idea of themselves as an abled person haunting them. That is the yardstick by which our many of our successes are measured, and our failures pitied.

It's great that you achieved that! If only you didn't have your disability holding you back, imagine what you could do!

It's too bad that you weren't able to do it. If you didn't have your disability, you may have been able to.

You start doing it yourself, too, comparing everything that you can do to what you could have done if you just weren't disabled. Seeing yourself as an inferior version of yourself.

But we aren't inferior versions of ourselves. We are the only us who exists. There is not an abled version of us waiting to outshine us. We should not have to live in the shadow of someone who doesn't exist.

[all-the-things-i]

you can say over and over that disabled people can have sex. but when you think it, make sure you are also thinking of those of us who are visibly disabled. people who cannot move the way bodies "should." people who struggle to speak can still request sex, with AAC, with body language, with what speech we have. people with medical devices implanted in their bodies, housebound and bed bound people. people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. "disabled people can have sex" does not just mean invisibly disabled people, or people who meet able bodied/neurotypical standards of independence

[all-the-things-i]

[all-the-things-i]

Ok, my mental health has been iffy lately, but I need to be very firm in something:

Autism is always a disability.

It is criteria D of the DSM 5 diagnosis requirements. You can learn more about the criteria here. It states that impairment must be present for a diagnosis.

I made a recent post where I was a bit wishy-washy on the term and I kept getting corrected. But I am aware autism is always a disability.

I have seen far too many low support needs autistics here and on other platforms saying you can be autistic and not be disabled.

No. That is bad information. Those people are either masking so much that they think what they are experiencing is normal and that everyone struggles (this was me before diagnosis and unmasking), they are misunderstanding what a disability entails, or they are not autistic.

I think the first 2 are probably far more prevalent than the latter.

Anyway, just a recap that:

Autism is always a disability.

Not a diff-ability. Not a quirky subtype of thinking. Not spicy.

Disability. A good word.

[all-the-things-i]

IM SO MAD AT THE SHAME SOCIETY PLACES ON DYNAMIC DISABILITIES

yes, I was walking unaided yesterday; yes, I am using forearm crutches today

yes, I was using forearm crutches but left them behind to go to the bathroom yesterday; yes, I need to use them even to walk two steps today

yes, I went up the stairs unaided yesterday; yes, I needed my crutches to go up to the stairs today; yes, tomorrow I might need to scooch upstairs on my ass because I won't be able to walk them

yes, I walked unaided to the car to get my crutches out of the car in the morning; yes, I will use them to go on a walk in the afternoon

DISABILITY CAN BE DYNAMIC, MOST PEOPLE ARENT ON A FIXED POINT OF SUPPORT NEEDS AND MOBILITY, WE'LL HAVE GOOD AND BAD DAYS AND I DONT NEED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO YOU

[all-the-things-i]