allisluv

[allisluv]

gonna be so honest, i haven’t had the motivation to write lately but i promise im still lurking to everyone asking in my inbox!! <33

[allisluv]

"do you wanna see the worst of me?" - spencer reid

in which, spencer thinks he's a bad person after prison

who? spencer reid x gn!reader

category: hurt/comfort

content warnings: post prison spencer, mentions of his addiction and his mom, mentions of murder and guns but nothing graphic, hard convos, girlfriend reader, tears

word count: 0.8k

a/n: hi guys! I think I forgot how to write but I'm back bitches

3 months. That's how long your boyfriend was in prison for a crime he never committed. 

Despite the fact he hadn’t done a single fucking thing wrong to end up behind bars the guilt followed. Being a murder, a convict, a prisoner. Attacked by a group of prisoners, forced to stab himself, forced to survive hell. 

It wasn’t something that just left him once the judge declared him ‘not guilty’ it was a nightmare that was going to keep following him. You knew that. You knew it from the moment you saw him drugged up in a jail cell.

It had been almost 3 months since he had gotten out and came back in your loving arms. It was almost surprising to him you welcomed him so easily. In his world he was horrible just for being in that place. He’d always had issues of thinking he was a monster of a man. From the first time he’d killed an unsub, leaving his mother, becoming an addict. Everything that wasn’t perfect meant he was a horrific person. Of course, being in hell didn’t help.

That's how you ended up laying in your bed one night after a case, one of the first he’d worked on since prison; A young woman being threatened to kill victims and hide the bodies by a drug dealer. 

Spencer was laying next to you reading some book in a language you didn’t understand as you shifted restlessly under the covers trying to get your brain to turn off for the night. Spencer let out a sigh as he placed down the book on his lap running his hands over his face.

“Do you think I’m a bad person?” He asked, not even looking at you, moreso like he was asking the world if he was.

Your breath stuttered for a second almost unsure if you heard him right, “What?”

He lifted his hands from his face to look at you, his eyes pleading for an answer like a kicked puppy, “Am I a bad person?”

“Of course I don’t think that Spencer.” You tried to reassure him, it was true, you never thought he was a bad person.

“I don’t think that's true.” He told you, “Everyday I wake up with needle marks in my arm and have to replay every wrong thing I’ve ever done before I even leave our bed.”

You blew air at that statement, it was true, you couldn’t deny what he felt. To everyone else he was the genius who saved lives profiling for the FBI against the worst people known to man but to him he was still the person who couldn’t do anything right.

“You have to stop punishing yourself Spencer.” You started after what felt like hours of silence. “Its not fair. To you.” He tilted his head silently asking you to keep going, to explain how he wasn’t a bad person. “Have you ever viewed me as a bad person after killing an unsub?”

“What? No, of course I haven’t. You had to defend yourself or the people in danger. How could you be a bad person?” He scrammed for the words, almost trying to reassure you now. 

“So how could you be a bad person then baby?” The question hung in the air taking up space begging to be answered. The silence weighed heavier than any answer he could’ve given in words, trying so hard to think about what it was making him as bad as he thought.

“I just am.” He tried to reason.

“No you're not.” You said scooting closer “This…this job is insane I’m not going to say it's not. But you know what you do everything you could ever do Spencer. A bad person like you think you are wouldn’t even take this job.”

He just looked at you, his expression hard to read even for a profiler, his brain and heart in a battle of wanting to believe your words and the urge to deny it in case you were wrong. Not that he thinks you’d ever want to lie to him on purpose but it was hard to believe when every move he had made over his life seemed to be the wrong one.

“You know I’m so fucking proud of you right?” You practically whispered to him “For everything, ever.”

You could see his eyes begin to water slightly as he moved closer squeezing you into a tight embrace, burying his teary face into your shoulder. “I know, thank you.”

“Thank you Spence.” You whispered, threading your fingers in his hair.

“For what?” He sniffed.

“Letting me know how you're feeling, letting me help,” you pause, “being my partner.”

He chuckled softly , nodding “Thank you for caring enough to stay.”

[allisluv]

gonna write something for johnny or joey tonight but my requests are open for johnny, joey, patrick, lizzie, gibsie, shannon, katie, hughie, claire and aoife (both platonic and romantic) but im open to writing for lots of other characters too so send any ideas in anyway! <33 (also i swear im working on a finnick blurb yall)

[allisluv]

wowowow very accurate if i do say so myself! thank you for the tag vega <3

non-pressure tags: @auroralwriting @anniiecrsta @daisyjonesgf @lilydoeswrite @slfglow @thedelicatearcher @cr3stawrites and anyone else who wants to join! <3

ִֶָ ☾. ִֶָ — tag game!!

let pinterest describe you to its best abilities and share how accurate you believe it is!! use the first picture that pops up!!

first search “aesthetic”, then “character”, and lastly “me”

thank you for the tags @dearmisshoney @riddlesrizzler 🖤

aesthetic ⋆ character ⋆ me

npt: @obsessedwithceleste @pizzaapeteer @godricgryffinsnore @draco-malfoys-lovergirl @redeemingvillains

[allisluv]

ooo was lilo and stitch good? that sounds like so much fun have the best time ever!!!

HIHI I HAVEN'T TALKED TO U IN AGES!!!!! HRU? 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭 ITS MY BDAY TOMMROW 🤭🤭🤭 IM SO HYPED YAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYYA

ahhh hi spark!! i've been so mia on here i'm sorry! i've been good how are you? oooo your birthday have you got any plans :0

[allisluv]

HIHI I HAVEN'T TALKED TO U IN AGES!!!!! HRU? 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭 ITS MY BDAY TOMMROW 🤭🤭🤭 IM SO HYPED YAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYYA

ahhh hi spark!! i've been so mia on here i'm sorry! i've been good how are you? oooo your birthday have you got any plans :0

[allisluv]

Hope you’re doing ok!! Just wanted to let you know your loved and people are proud of you🫶🏼

thank you! i'm doing better now! :)

[allisluv]

slight vent idk but i just done my first EMDR session and why the hell did no one tell me it was going to be this heavy man? slept for 3.5 hours and then sobbed for another one afterwards. anyway, getting take out and i’m gonna answer some asks tn hopefully so i’ve got that to look forward to i guess? 😋

[allisluv]

( 🍒 ) . * cherry . . . daisy jones & the six readersona !!

a couple of djats writers also have a “cherry” readersona (shoutout @auroralwriting and @allisluv) but mine is different i swear

𝜗𝜚 𓂃 personality !!

cherry is fiery and short tempered. she does what she wants, when she wants, and doesn’t listen to most people. she horrible at communication, but tries to get better because she knows her lack of it hurts her friends. she’ll fuck up and leave it to someone else to clean up her mess, but takes responsibility once she’s called out on it (usually by daisy or billy.) she’s a rockstar in her own right, working under teddy price and ellemar records, writing and singing on her own albums. 

𝜗𝜚 𓂃 timeline !!

cherry is from pittsburgh, PA. her father died when she was young (heart attack) and her mother was a bad one. she would give cherry money and clothes and feed her and such, but she was usually gone working and was crashed out whenever she was home. cherry was best friends with camila alvarez and was high school sweethearts with billy dunne, she was the dunne brothers’ number one fan. she moved to california for college after graduation, breaking things off with billy when she left, neither of them wanting to do long distance.

she pursued a major in music theory and managed to finish her undergrad but didn’t do any more schooling after that. she met daisy jones at the whisky a go go one day near the end of her last year in college and, needing a place to stay, she and daisy quickly became friends and decide to find a place together (getting daisy out of simone’s hair was a bonus.) 

daisy and cherry performed at the troubadour together as a bit of a duo, in this universe “two against three” is about daisy & cherry against their parents. the former dunne brothers—now the six, with the addition of karen sirko—were also playing that night, their set after cherry and daisy’s. when the six are on stage, cherry recognizes and locks eyes with billy.

they’re reunited and started going out. their relationship was rough at the start, both of them are shit at communication. they were on and off but both cared too much about each other to fully let go. billy went to rehab in this universe due to having a moral awakening after cherry broke up with him, a serious break-up rather than their usual on-and-off. during this breakup, billy wrote “more fun to miss” about cherry. daisy still sings with the six in this universe, but there’s no tension between her and billy. at the album shoot for “aurora,” billy and daisy fought, daisy trying to defend her friend. this is how the “aurora” album cover is taken. cherry and daisy wrote “regret me” together on the drive home. 

during the writing of “aurora,” cherry wrote and released her own album. for the sake of publicity, cherry and daisy jones & the six had a joint tour for cherry’s debut album, “cherry colas” and “aurora.” cherry got wasted after a show and made her way to billy’s hotel room. she came onto him but he refused to fuck her, instead made poor attempts to sober her up. while drunk, she admitted she never stopped loving him. they got back together after billy confronted her about it the next morning. their relationship is still messy, it always will be, but they’re both trying a little bit harder now. 

𝜗𝜚 𓂃 cherry masterlist !!

( tbd ! )

[allisluv]

HAPPY ONE YEAR🥂🥂

Have some butter🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈🧈

THANK YOU!! <3

[allisluv]

Finnick odair with reader after there was a triggering scene in a movie maybe they didn’t see the trigger warnings heading at the beginning

okay okay i’m so down to write this !! are we thinking finnick is triggered or reader or both? 👀

[allisluv]

Just wanted to let you know I appreciate your writing!! Its been the things thats getting me through finals week!

-🦕

thank you nonnie! wishing you all the best with finals, you’re gonna smash it <3

[allisluv]

lmao I just checked the updated WIP list idk why but it’s so funny seeing that I’ve sent roughly fifteen requests give or take in Finnick’s section😭

ITS FORTY SEVEN AND YES I COUNTED 😭😭 (i’m so down bad for that man idec)

[allisluv]

okay i've finally finished updating my wip list (hoping i got everything) and answering some asks! im going to bed but ill hopefully be back in the early hours of the morning to grace you with my presence again (annoy you all) <3

[allisluv]

okay so I feel like I’m good at coming up with dynamics and expositions but I never know how to write a story even if it’s just a short one I don’t know how to go in depth with my ideas do you have any tips and what your process is like?

ugh it took me so long to get to this i'm sorry! honestly my advice isnt the best but i'm not gonna bullshit you either, so this is just what i do; i tend to write down any small idea i have and then come back to it at a later time to try flesh the idea out. sometimes it can be the next day or a week later or a month later or a year later-- that does not matter. once i have the basics, i get a playlist and just jump into it. as hard as it sounds, try not to edit or overanalyse as you go along; leave that to the end.

it can be so so daunting to start writing but just remember that every author had to start somewhere. even if you're just writing for yourself, write anyway !!! from what you've sent me, your ideas are out of this fucking world. if you ever need someone to bounce ideas off of, or a beta reader or anything like that, please please please message me! i would absolutely love to read what you write!

two things i would say: don't be discouraged if you post something and it doesn't get as much engagement as you hoped -- man, the algorithm is such a bitch sometimes and it does not make your work bad or anything of the sort.

ps: word counts are overrated. nine times out of ten, if the plot/idea is interesting and catches my attention (and there's always someone out there who will be interested), i could not care less whether or not it's 200 words or 2000 or 20000. your work is not too short to be posted! it is not too long to be posted! <3

[allisluv]

Thank you! Helpful advice if daunting in nature, heh. Thoughts on finnick with a capitol brainwashed game maker apprentice? Not necessarily romantic but just the most insane interactions like... The equivalent of asking someone ' do you ski'

-🌪️

finnick knows-- at least to some degree-- that the capitol people are brainwashed, but then again, he also knows that there's a proportion of them who are just fucking assholes (to put it nicely). i do think he would have a level of hatred for them, but i also like to think that he has the level of patience to like slowly undo their beliefs or at the very least make them question it! i could be wrong but i'm 99% sure @ssweeterthanfiction has a series on this and if i'm write, do check it out! isa's writing is incredible <3

[allisluv]

Finnick Odair who considers everything with reader to be his first! Also they never had the chance to properly fairly and safely develop their relationship until probably d13/post rebellion and now he feels the rush and gets nervous and imagines things and whatnot. Do you think in the beginning he’d be confused on why his meticulously crafted Capitol Charmer persona suddenly doesn’t work anymore?

i yapped so bad and idk if any of it makes sense but we move! this is giving me ideas for finnick and shy!wifey ugh i miss them. also this is the first time i've wrote properly in like a month so please be nice or i'll cry (/hj) <3 // tw: mentions of finnick's trauma and slightly nsfw content? idk not really but i'll add it anyway

oh my heart is melting !! finnick is so nervous when he's around you; i am talking palms sweating, heart racing, mouth dry, stumbling over his words kind of nervous--- and that scares him. not that he's scared of you; he's just scared that the persona he's crafted so delicately, so carefully, over the years is beginning to crumble. and honestly? he's got no clue who he is, not after spending years mastering the act of being different people to suit the situation and the people around. he doesn't know how to be finnick. he just know how to survive, and that is by being the capitol darling, by being whoever you want him to be.

after the war, there's a hell of a lot of self-discovery (not only for the victors, but for people as a whole), and the first time finnick and you go out on a date-- a proper one, not a propo for the capitol or thirteen --, he's so nervous that he nearly ends up knocking over a candle and setting the only rebuilt restaurant in four up in flames. hes so nervous that the table shakes as his knee bobs under the table, and when you reach across to take his hand in yours, telling him to relax and just be himself, he doesn't know what to do with that advice.

...because he doesn't know who he is!

there would be a lot of conversations between you and finnick about finding your sense of self again, even when the relationship between the two of you progresses from something sweet and easy-going to something more serious and long-term. finnick would suggest having date nights where the two of you try something new each time in an effort to figure out what you really like and what you were told to like if that makes any sense at all.

and you are so right about finnick classing everything with you as his first! if anyone asks who his first kiss was, he'll answer you without a second of hesitation (because florence in primary school didn't count and the people from the capitol definitely didn't). you were the first person he made love to, the first person he had sex with (yes, there is a difference, especially to him), the first person he genuinely thought about a family and marriage with, and the first person he slept safely beside.

and, boy, does he intend for you to be the last, too.