am-i-the-asshole-2

[am-i-the-asshole-2]

WIBTA for blocking/softblocking someone im avoiding?

I have a friend that I've been avoiding for a while. Long story short, they've had a lot of major mental health struggles, and it got to the point where I started avoiding them because it felt like every conversation wound up with me trying to manage their mental state in a way that I'm just not capable of. Ive had my own struggles and am not a therapist, and it was overwhelming and started to just feel bad.

However, this friend is the one person IRL who knows my tumblr url. As a result, whenever I post something on my tumblr, theyll often reply and/or message me outside tumblr to discuss my post. The same goes for other social media they have me on. I haven't been responding because of the reason above, I dont know how to prevent conversations with them turning into dangerous territory.

I've frequently considered blocking them on tumblr and possibly other sites, or at least soft blocking them so they're not following me anymore to see my stuff. That way they dont keep trying to message me whenever I post something. But i don't know if that would be a particularly asshole-ish thing to do, especially outside tumblr where it might be noticed/brought to the attention of other IRL friends that they are still in consistant contact with.

I know i am unquestionably TA in general because I've just kind of ghosted this person instead of being open about my problem with the situation and just ending the friendship or working through it somehow else, but i really don't know how to deal with it, especially since trying to bring it up will lead directly to the sort of conversation that is why I'm avoiding this person. This question is only about if I'd be wrong for blocking them. On one hand, they wouldn't be seeing my stuff and trying to contact me about it, hopefully decreasing how much I'm ghosting them. But for some reason I feel like I'd just be even more of an asshole for blocking them, so I really don't know

[am-i-the-asshole-2]

AITA For using my roommate's spoons for cat food.

My (25) roommate (23) has these small spoons that are the perfect size for scooping canned cat food for my cat. We've been living together for a few years now and I often used his spoons for the food. I bought some baby spoons to use a while ago, and while I primarily use those now, sometimes I will use the others when we're slacking on doing dishes.

Recently I found one of the spoons in the cabinet, rather than the silverware drawer where it belongs. I asked why it was there and he told me there wasn't room (which isn't true but...okay) so I decided to use that one so it wouldn't be in the wrong place. He told me not to because he doesn't like me using them for cat food. I said that it could be something he learns to get used to and he said "or you could respect my boundaries about my dishes." To which I did not respond.

I should mention that I provide the majority of the dishes for the apartment and many of the ones he owns he refuses to share. I have tried not to say anything about this despite the fact that I find it a little frustrating, and I do still primarily try to use the baby spoons for the cat food. I also always make sure to wash any and all dishes thoroughly and we've yet to have anyone be sick from using the same dishes as the cat. It's also been years that I've used those spoons and he's said nothing. I will also mention that we are both autistic, and so while I understand that may make things harder for him, I feel there is very little willingness to compromise with me often times. So....AITA?

[am-i-the-asshole-2]

AITA for getting people to murder each other by accident?

I (F) was curious about this place I saw. Mostly curious as to whether or not they had food there, so I disguised myself as this soldier guy when he wasn't paying attention so I could sneak in.

I got yelled at by his boss I guess? Anyway, I then disguised myself as that guy. His name was fun to say.

I kept disguising myself as people and eventually they got freaked out and thought there was a shapeshifting monster among them. I told them maybe the monster just wants to be friends, but they didn't listen and started killing each other just in case one of them was the monster.

[am-i-the-asshole-2]

AITA for locking my cousin out of a shared account?

My cousin, Stacy, sometimes played on my Genshin, HSR, and ZZZ accounts. She added all of her friends in them. Stacy wanted to play the main story in HSR and ZZZ and keeps complaining that I finish them before she gets the chance to. She says it sucks that she does not get to experience it first hand when her friends do and asked me to just watch videos of the story while she plays. I refused and kept playing the new stories whenever they came out and she grew more and more agitated about it every time.

She later decided to get a character she wanted with some of the in game currency I had been working on saving for another character in ZZZ. She was able to get the character and she celebrated it with her friends. I decided to change the password to the whole account and added 2 factor authentication, effectively locking her out. Then I used her funds (twice as much as she had used) that her friend gifted her in HSR for a character she never really wanted. But I did not get the character.

Stacy was livid when she found about that because she was going to miss out now. I told her "well karma is a bitch." and that I would not give her the new password until I completed all the new story. I also blocked all of her friends in all the games and now they are angry at her for doing that. They don't believe her that she did not block them and found a new person to game with. Stacy is upset about that and has been begging for the accounts back, but I told her to just start new ones since I played these ones more than her.

AITA?

[am-i-the-asshole-2]

AITA for dating my best friend’s crush?

(All names are fake) Me (16F) and my best friend Lucy (16F) both have a crush on a boy named Greg (16M). When we realized this we both agreed not to date him because we didn’t want to hurt the other. About two months ago Greg told me that he liked me and I told him that I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend right now. He asked if Lucy was the real reason and said that he knew she had a crush on him but he didn’t like her. I admitted that she was the real reason I turned him down and that I would date him if he could.

Our other friend Kate (16F) recently got dumped by her boyfriend Paul (16M). They had a really bad breakup, especially since he broke up with her at a birthday dinner she was having with her family. Two weeks ago she saw Lucy and Paul kiss and immediately called me. She told me that if Lucy thought it was ok to kiss her ex then she should think it’s ok for me to date her crush. I wanted to make sure this was true and when I talked to Lucy she confirmed that she is dating Paul.

Greg heard about this and asked me out. I said yes because I figured since Lucy had a boyfriend she no longer has a crush on Greg so there’s no issue with me dating him. That was about two weeks ago and I thought everything was fine but today I learned that Lucy has been telling everyone that I stole her crush. Everyone other than Kate and one other friend (and Greg obviously) thinks I’m in the wrong but I don’t think I am.

[am-i-the-asshole-2]

AITA for telling my friend something our other friend said about her?

*the names are made up. I just used them to make it easier to differentiate people.

I (16f) went on a 3 day field trip with my school. Everyone in my friend group went except for one girl (15f) who I’ll call Alex. On the trip my roommate (15f) who I’ll call Bella flirted with a guy for the first two days of the trip. We heard he was gonna ask her to watch a firework display with him but then she kissed his roommate so he asked someone else. There’s a lot more to the story but I’m simplifying it cause this post would get way too long.

When we got home we told Alex literally everything about the trip. When she heard what Bella did she said she was acting like a slut. Most of the people in this conversation told Alex that she shouldn’t say that. She argued that she could say because it’s true. I had next period with Bella and since she’s one of my best friends I immediately told her what Alex said. Bella got (rightfully) mad and confronted Alex. They got in a huge fight and now they aren’t speaking. The whole friend group has basically taken sides and it’s a whole mess. I was already feeling so guilty for causing this, but then one of our other friends told Alex that I was the one who snitched on her to Bella. Now she’s pissed with me and so are a bunch of our other friends.

I feel terrible and have no idea how to fix this. It wasn’t my intention to cause so much trouble. I thought telling Bella was the right thing to do but maybe I should’ve just kept my mouth shut.

[am-i-the-asshole-2]

Are there any specific rules surrounding fictional AITAs? Do they have to be SUPER realistic, or just well-written? Do we have to specify that it's fictional?

Asking because I want to submit an AITA based around a story, but it's pretty fantastical and AITA blorbos submissions are closed.

Okay, here’s the thing…

They don’t have to be super realistic, but they do have to be believable, at least for a little bit. Maybe don’t use language that could be traced back to your fandom for a little bit. Then, feed more and more language into the ask, and BOOM! The realization will hit.

Instead of time travel to Ancient Greece, say a trip to Greece. Instead of Galactic Federation, say a team of scientists (or whatever the position is). That sort of thing.

There should be a realization at some point — usually at the end. So don’t hold to many punches, but try to make it believable for a bit.

[am-i-the-asshole-2]

AITA for not caring when my sister said she was infertile?

I have a twin sister, Lucy, who used to bully me a lot. Lucy was always our parents' favorite child. Whatever she wanted, she got. Boys I had crushes on became her boyfriends because she decided she liked them too. Anything I took up as a hobby, she would do too so that she could be better at it. Lucy told my parents that I had been bullying her and they believed her. She also convinced any friends I had that I was bullying her which made them all leave me alone. Lucy had even told some of the teachers I had who had put me in counseling to "learn to be nicer to Lucy."

When I was old enough to, I left the house and met my husband. We have 2 kids together while Lucy has been struggling to have a kid. She has had a few miscarriages. Her fertility doctor said she wouldn't be able to have children of her own. My parents called me when they discovered I'd be having twins soon and asked if I could let Lucy adopt one or both of them so that she could be a parent. They said it would be nice for Lucy to have one of the twins or both because it was taking a toll on her since she discovered she was infertile.

I refused because I don't want her raising my kids after she has bullied me so much. My parents begged and said to "do something nice for her for once." So I said fine and sent her a toy baby with a note that read "don't kill this one too." 😉

Lucy called me in anger screaming that I should just let her have my twins because she would be a better parent.

AITA?

[am-i-the-asshole-2]

AITA for telling someone that as long as a character's identity is not canonized, it would be fine to do whatever we want with them?

I joined a discord server with some friends and people were sharing their ship art. So I shared ship art of a character others see as lesbian in a relationship with a man. Lots of people got upset with me for that saying that it was erasing her identity. I told them as long as it wasn't confirmed canon, it was fine to do. Everyone else ended up getting angry about that saying it was just an excuse to hate on lesbians and I was banned from that server. one of the mods dm'd me saying that if I apologized and promised not to put any of the lesbian characters in straight ships, I could be let back into the server. I told them that they were just going off of headcanons and that if it was not confirmed canon, the character wasn't lesbian. The mod called me a biggot and lesphobic for that, but I refuse to apologize.

AITA?

[am-i-the-asshole-2]

AITA for hanging out with my girlfriend’s ex?

My (15M) girlfriend (16F) and her ex (18M) broke up two years ago. I didn’t know her at the time but I’ve heard from her friends that it was a really messy breakup and that she tries her best not to speak with him. (Although they have a lot of mutual friends and are in a lot of the same clubs and classes so she really can’t avoid him.)

A few months ago we were hanging out and one of our friends came up to us and told us that her ex’s dad died. He said that he was gonna go to his house to offer condolences and I suggested we go with him. I’d never met this guy but it seemed like a nice thing to do. My girlfriend said she didn’t want to go but I told her that the two of them could squash whatever happened between them for the day considering the circumstances. She finally agreed to go so the three of us went to his house. He was really nice to me when we got there and asked us all to come inside. My girlfriend was really hesitant to go in but her ex said she was welcome there. Nothing bad happened the whole time we were there so it seemed like they buried the hatchet.

A couple days later her ex asked me I wanted to hang out and I said yes. I had a really good time so we hung out for essentially the whole weekend. Next time I saw my girlfriend I was completely honest about hanging out with him. She said she was surprised but didn’t seem upset about anything so I figured it was fine. I kept hanging out with him and we started becoming pretty close friends. I pretty much spend every day either with my girlfriend or with him.

A while ago he started giving me relationship advice and I figured who better to give me advice about dating my girlfriend than someone who also dated her. Stuff with my girlfriend has been going great until one day I mentioned that I’d been getting dating advice from her ex. Suddenly she got super uncomfortable and asked me if I thought that was a good idea. She pointed out that obviously the things he did while he was dating her weren’t great or else they wouldn’t have broken up so why would I want to copy his ideas. I told her that the advice he’d given me was really good and even told her some of the stuff he said. Everything I did based on his advice was something she liked so I don’t understand what the problem is. She explained that everything was great with him in the beginning just like it is with us and she’s scared that if I keep following his advice our relationship with go down the same path theirs did. She left after that and didn’t answer my calls for the rest of the night.

I decided to call her ex. I wanted to know what caused them to break up so I knew what I had to avoid doing. He told me he cheated on her. At that point I got kinda mad. I couldn’t believe that my girlfriend would think even for a second that I would ever cheat on her. The next time I saw her I tried to put her mind to ease but she got really confused. She told me that him cheating on her wasn’t why they broke up and that she didn’t even find out he was cheating on her until after they had already broken up. The real reason was because he emotionally abused her until she had a mental breakdown. I tried to assure her that I would never do that either. She told me that she overreacted and wasn’t mad at me.

I didn’t pry any more about what happened but was really curious so I asked some of her friends. They told me they didn’t know much because she didn’t like to talk about it but they did tell me everything they knew. I was pretty confused because none of it sounded too bad. Definitely nothing he did seemed like a reason to break up over. I decided to ask her ex because he obviously knows more about what happened than her friends. What he told me didn’t sound bad at all. According to him she would pick fights and then get really upset when he stood his ground. This sounded kinda like what was happening between us now. She started a fight over me hanging out with someone she didn’t like and got upset because I didn’t end my friendship with him.

Since she said she wasn’t mad anymore and that she overreacted I figured it was fine to keep hanging out with her ex but a few weeks later she said she didn’t feel comfortable dating me anymore knowing that I was following her ex’s advice. She said that in the back of her mind she’ll always be afraid that I’ll take the things he says too far and become emotionally abusive like him and that she couldn’t let herself fall for that again because it hurt too much the first time. I didn’t fight because I didn’t think there was anything I could do to change her mind.

Before we started dating she told me she was damaged from her past relationships and that she might be too much for me to handle. I thought she was exaggerating but I guess it sort of ended up being true. I don’t really think I did anything wrong and even my (ex)girlfriend said she’s not mad and would like for us to stay friends. But her best friend is extremely angry with me now, which sucks because she’s my friend too and she won’t even speak to me anymore. She’s one of my closest friends so I really don’t want her to hate me but I just don’t think I did anything wrong.

TLDR I became friends with my girlfriend’s ex and now she’s scared I’m going to start acting like him and break her heart

[am-i-the-asshole-2]

AITA

Okay so, today I, (18F), was working the kitchen at a busy fast food restaurant during church lunch rush. I, at the moment am not very fast at kitchen duties yet, as I haven't been scheduled kitchen very much mostly doing register, and we also had a trainee on today marking 2/4 people on line not used to this. My supervisor, (36M), who was working on register at the time, came over and stood there watching us try to keep up with orders as best as we can. As he was watching us instead of attempting to help us catch up with the orders he started berating the crew saying things such as, "You guys have to be faster, we can't have any red tickets it looks bad on me, are y'all even trying?" During him shouting this one of my other coworkers, (27M), who was standing on the other side of me, started shouting back at him stating that it was church lunch rush and if he had such a problem with it he could help us, which made my supervisor double down on us, at this point I could not focus on what I was doing as I had two grown ass men shouting at each other through me which prompted me to tell my supervisor to shut up, he then walked away and just kept watching us from afar, looking at his phone, and not being helpful. After rush, I was told to apologize to him as someone saw him making a write-up for me. When I went to talk with him, stating that "I was behaving unprofessionally and should not have said what I did." He began saying how I was lucky I was and shouldn't be talking that way to a quote "grown ass man." Afterwards I talked to a different supervisor and was told that despite the situation I should not talk to a manager that way. A couple hours later the first guy came to me and said, "You are my friend and I like working with you and I am not mad at you." After all morning berating me and saying that I wasn't trying hard enough and wasn't doing good enough, while he didn't even try helping the team. It felt like he was trying to make me as the bad person here, I personally think it was a justified response. AITA here?

[am-i-the-asshole-2]

AITA for ghosting a guy?

I (19F) met a guy (44M) while we were doing inpatient care at a psychiatric hospital. Since I was the youngest person there, his roommate (39M) kinda took me under his wing and kinda felt a bit like a father figure while I was in there. Because I was so close to his roommate we ended up talking a lot.

One day he told me that he was in a relatively new relationship but was thinking of calling things off because he’d started liking someone new. He asked for my advice so I told him that if there was someone he liked more it was probably better to call his current relationship off because it could mean that he wasn’t fully invested. He told me he appreciated my advice and would think about it.

A few days later he told me he had broken up with his girlfriend so he could be with the person he actually liked. He then revealed that that person was me. I had absolutely no idea he felt this way, but this wouldn’t be the first time I didn’t realize someone was flirting with me. I tend to miss social cues like that. Anyway, he asked me if I would go on a date with him after we were both released. I panicked and told him I’d think about it.

The next day he asked me if I had a decision yet. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, especially since I knew he was really unstable and I was a little bit scared of what would happen if I flat out rejected him. So I said I didn’t think I was ready for a serious relationship. He’d told me in the past that he wanted to get married and have kids within the next 5 years, which isn’t exactly ideal for me considering I’m going to be in college for at least 3 more years. I didn’t know if I’d want to have kids immediately after graduating and I explained that to him, but he said he would be willing to potentially push back that deadline if it was important to me. I suggested that he’d be happier with someone his own age but he insisted I was the only girl he wanted. Finally I told him that I didnt think we were right for each other and he said we could make it work if we tried. I said that maybe we should let things be for now and see where we were at after we got out of the hospital.

For the next few days I was really uncomfortable around him and tried to avoid him when I could, but that’s very difficult in such small quarters. I was released at the end of the week and left without saying goodbye. About two weeks later I started getting messages from him on various social media apps and I ignored all of them. After about a week and a half of him messaging me multiple times a day I decided to just block him. I was afraid that if I didn’t block him he would use something on my social media to figure out where I lived. He already knew what school I went to.

I feel really bad for ignoring him, but I think that once I answer his messages I’ll never be able to escape him. I just want to be left alone, but I don’t want to hurt him especially since I’m afraid he’ll do something bad. But I also don’t want to be a bad person and I think ghosting him will make me that.

[am-i-the-asshole-2]

AITA for not reaching out to a friend about his father’s passing?

I (24M) heard that my old high school friend’s (24M) father had passed away. This of course was very sad to me because he was a really nice man and I’m sure his family was hurting. However, I haven’t spoken to this friend in 6 years and the last year we knew each other was pretty rocky. Reaching out to him now just seems weird, especially since I don’t know how long it’s actually been since his dad died. The person I heard it from said it’s been a couple years, but she didn’t know how many (because the person she’d heard it from didn’t know either).

I told my mom and grandma that his dad has died because they both knew him. My grandma is insisting that I reach out. She said that if she was in my position she’d send a sympathy card but that I should at least text him. (Although I’m not even sure if he has the same number he did in hs.)

I don���t think I need to reach out and I think it would actually be strange if I did. I highly doubt he would say anything to me if the situations were reverse. But I have started to feel a little guilty. Maybe the right thing would be to try to reach out and I’m just being an AH by refusing.

[am-i-the-asshole-2]

Aita for waiting to go no contact

(Tw toxic family)

Hi my coming their cuz I can’t anyone I know irl sorry for grammar or spelling mistakes English isn’t my first language.

So heres the backstory. I (15 nonbinary) have figured out that my (17) brother is toxic. He yells at anyone (for being too loud mostly) , treats animals horribly and thinks everyone should act ok with this etc., I do know he knows this is bad but won’t/can’t stop. I have decided to go no contact with him, but my ant (who we live with) will make us go to family therapy, i don’t want to go for many reasons the many one being I’m scared i’ll be made to feel sorry for doing this (as this has happened before when not in therapy) so here’s the aita I’m still going to go no contact, but I’m going to wait till I’m 18, and just stop getting so close with him, so not talking to him unless taking to, slowing convince, I’m scared this is mean or toxic, especially sinces his birthday is coming up so I’m being more talkative so aita

[am-i-the-asshole-2]

AITA for not going to my cousin's party and not giving her the cake she asked for?

My cousin invited me to her birthday party, and she had asked if I could make her a cake for the party since I bake as a hobby. I said I could and that I would bring the cake as a present. She looked confused about it and asked "what about my present?"

"The cake is the present." I said.

She called me cheap for not wanting to give her a present along with the cake. So I told her I was no longer going an hour before the party and that the cake I made for her was given to a friend for her kid's birthday. Cousin was furious at me and called multiple times, but I ignored her.

Family members are angry at me for doing that and have been calling endlessly.

AITA?

[am-i-the-asshole-2]

Hey, I’ve started scheduling my posts, so that you’re not just all of a sudden blasted with new posts.

The schedule is the following:

One post at 8:00 am CT

Another post at 12:00 pm CT

And the final one is at 6:00 pm CT

For all the working assholes out there!

I may double up if I get a whole bunch of asks.

[am-i-the-asshole-2]

AITA for blocking my friend after they refused to tell me what they lied to me about?

a few days ago I was on the call with my friend. We were talking about random things and he suddenly started laughing and told me there’s something he’s lied to me about (somewhere around october) and how I’ll probably never realise it. I asked him a couple of times what it was but he just kept asking and didn’t answer.

Now I’m someone who has a hard time trusting people easily because it’s always come back to bite me in past. So it was very triggering to me how this was all a joke to him. I told him around 4 times that I’ll block him. He kept laughing. I blocked him on one the apps we primarily use to text and told him I had blocked him. He still kept laughing so I cut the call. I left him unblocked on another app we rarely use to communicate in case he decided to tell me.

Finally, today he texted me asking me why. I told him I was pissed and when I explained he started saying how this was so extreme and I was actually crazy for this. He went on about how shitty he felt these past few days and didn’t understand how I could just go no contact so easily. He completely ignored me telling him how I was upset too and if this was that important to him he could’ve just told me what it was he lied to me about which he countered by saying how it wasn’t even something that important and how our situations are not the same. He went on to say if I had really felt terrible I could’ve just unblocked him because getting blocked is really triggering for him. He then proceeds to ignore when I tell him how him not telling me what he lied abt was very triggering.

he then said that he can’t do this and ended the conversation.

I personally don’t think I’m in the wrong here and don’t plan on apologising. In the past whenever we’ve fought I’ve always been the one to initiate contact again by apologising but I don’t want to this time. I’ve always heard him out and helped him through so much but it feels like the one time I’m upset he refuses to understand.

so AITA?