ambersnake

[ambersnake]

do you also enjoy romance that’s not evil and sick

yeah but only when it’s between blood relatives

[ambersnake]

Penelope: Yeah, this shroud is taking me 20 years.

Suitors:

[ambersnake]

I’d like to live through a week that’s not a whole new verse of “We Didn’t Start the Fire.”

[ambersnake]

[ambersnake]

(opening the author’s works page after finishing a fic) and if im lucky they’ll have written this exact same fic but different a bunch more times

[ambersnake]

litiste??

[ambersnake]

I want to [remembers that suicide jokes only further damage my mental health] fuck you like an animal

[ambersnake]

please stop writing "viscous" when you mean "vicious", it produces the weirdest mental images ever

[ambersnake]

[ambersnake]

irish coworker: *is back from a month in italy*

me: the weather must have been great, you're looking so tanned!

irish coworker: *stares down at his arms, which are a shade of eggshell white i associate with tasteful wedding table settings* i suppose i am!

welsh coworker: *enters room* wow, youre looking so tanned!

ghanaian coworker: *looks around like hes on the truman show*

[ambersnake]

— jenny slate, little weirds

[ambersnake]

Friendly reminder for tomorrow!

[ambersnake]

using "what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament" to mean "yeah i made an embarrassing reference but you understood it which is also embarrassing" is very funny to me

[ambersnake]

I hope that I’m not just a mutual to you, but also a blurred recollection of an icon and an entrely misremembered url

[ambersnake]

I really love ao3

[ambersnake]

some of my best friends i met at the devil’s sacrament

[ambersnake]

the thing about queer tv is that every time someone says "why isn't there a queer show where XYZ happens" the reality is that 1) there is actually a queer show where XYZ happens, and 2) that show is almost always either a thai drama or black sails