amirinthewind

[amirinthewind]

I realized I never take pictures of myself. I don’t really identify too much with my physical. I’ve always thought of this form as a big tool to help me experience life. I remember being a kid and always wondering what it felt like to be pretty. I like looking at things that are beautiful. I do not subscribe to any version of reality that says everyone can’t be beautiful. The sunlight doesn’t discriminate who’s face to illuminate every morning. I think we are all worthy of beauty. But how do I claim my beauty? it weird to think we are trained out of our own beauty the same way we are trained out of our artistry. If I knew what made me beautiful I could never doubt my shine. I often wonder about how effectively we’ve been trained to believe that women are objects of beauty. In our modern world I find this area of femininity to be very weird. It’s like women is beautiful for existing. For just being. They themselves are beautiful beings. The base requirement for a women in our age is to be beautiful. But are they any different from me? Am I not the equal to my female partner? Does she not look at me with the same beauty I look at her with? Being seen can be difficult. I have a high respect for anyone willing to use there gifted tools to express themselves. Expression through physical, through me the physical, it’s almost like dancing but internally. I always thought that modeling for art groups is one of the coolest things ever. Not because there’s a value in the nudity but that a person is willing to give literally themselves for the benefit of creation. It’s an amazing collaboration. It’s very uhh giving isn’t the word. It feels like it’s done for itself. Even if though people on both sides gain. It feels like the in between of my paper and the model is where the endless art happens.

[amirinthewind]

I find it difficult to be obsessed with art. I’ve made it very clear to everyone in my life that art is the most important thing in the world to me. I would sit in a room and create for my entire existence If I could. Everyday is like im on manual and have to actively tell myself to work for money to live a life. I hate this system of life it doesn’t make any sense. And it’s so weird because when I create my art and I share with the world everyone agrees. Nobody wants this to be our shared reality yet we all shared it. We reinforce it. I hate seeing young artists creating and thinking about their “careers” fucking yuck. There was once a time when the role of the artist was so revered that we would be protected. We were the uppers of society not because of what we had but because of what we could do. The world saw our value and our goals and protected us. There is no Sistine chapel without a society to foot the bill. We can’t be artists in a world that kills us. We have to do more we have to BE more. DONT CHASE A JOB CHASE LIFE

[amirinthewind]

I just learned about faith ringgold and realized I’ve seen her pieces in person and I feel blessed. I need to get to a residency again

[amirinthewind]

The performance of self!!!

[amirinthewind]

I feel like I haven’t been dancing ever. Not like dancing isn’t a thing u can just do but like gone somewhere with the intention to dance. I see music when I can feel it, and like dancing pairs with that feeling crazy. I have a niece now and I often about her developing synesthesia. Not like I want it or don’t for her I just think it’s an interesting developmental thing. I have no idea really wheee it comes from. It feels very warm for me most of the time. Sounds can be sharp and green sometimes but like it’s a large spectrum. I like to think I put alot of my synesthesia thought process into my art. Colors sounds a certain way. I can tell what song I was listening to sometimes depending on the color and shapes I made. Portrait of Tracy is a WONDERLAND for my ears

[amirinthewind]

[amirinthewind]

I’m gonna make a news letter that focuses 7 topics. Gives access to free clothes. Educates. Free art access. I wanna share things with people. Not just talk at them but actually connect. Give people something meaningful. I find it hard to do that in gallery context where I don’t really believe in all galleries abilities to hold an artists message. Like I am big on accessibility in art. EVERYONE should be able to experience your art in some way. If they can’t I think ur work is failing. Not it’s bad just failing. Communication through art should kinda always make sense. It’s your choice to create and share the work. So why not share it in a way the world can experience it. It doesn’t feel fair to me that art gets trapped behind medium and structure. If the gallery I have my show at doesn’t have wheelchair accessibility than everyone isn’t welcome to participate in my art. I have a fundamental issue with that. U urself are experiencing the world through a plethora of senses and sensations. I don’t think it’s fair to simplify your experience to one of those senses or feelings. You are an amalgamation of your existence as well as everyone and everything that has helped carve u into u. To not allow the WORLD to experience what it’s created feels very selfish to me. And sometimes it’s okay to be selfish. Especially in your form of creation. But you can’t be confused that the world doesn’t understand when you haven’t really made your wholehearted attempt at exposing yourself. I just don’t know where to host my art, like physically. I don’t trust these liberal white spaces that wave pride flags like it’s a universal sign for the “other” in society. If I had a show in the “safe”spaces near me I would be equally as uncomfy as if I went to the non safe spaces. They aren’t safe for ME. It’s like how black people don’t watch 12 years a slave but white people do. I feel as a black artist we are often used as pivot points for whites to “explore” their uncomfortability. Where as I am just “lucky to have a spot” or “representation is powerful” yanno. I don’t want to be a representation for anything. I just wanna be. I think if I lived around more brown people I wouldn’t feel so isolated but I enjoy the farm middle of nowhereness I live at. If I had ONE place I felt I could really hangout just ONE I don’t think I’d have any complaints. I’m not rereading this.

I’m gonna have to start going out of my way to micro travel. I don’t mind leaving my house I just have to find the energy. I forget how much free will I have. I wanna have shows everywhere my art needs to be but I don’t know where BECAUSE I M NOT OUTSIDE

[amirinthewind]

Are they ghost? Pikmin? A floating sheet? these ones feel organic. Very simple to make.

[amirinthewind]

This sticky note actually has the “rules” of my work. Not exactly but close

[amirinthewind]

[amirinthewind]

Video game designers and artists who make video game art and build out whole worlds for us to play in are blessed. Like a painting is cool. But imagine if I could run around in the painting and shoot fireballs. And then switch to another painting. Every game I play gets sooo many hours put on it because I spend at least 30hours alone just staring at stuff I find cool. I feel bad thinking an artists entirety can be bypassed by me wanting to “progress” in a videogame.

[amirinthewind]

I’ve never really thought about these as me building out my own mythology. I’m building a database, a language through these beings. A story. Reflecting my own story. I wonder what they say. I chose these ones because they look like videogame characters or like some sort of complete character yanno. I can tell when I was referencing something and a lot of these feel like a reference of a reference. Try to remember a thought you had in a dream.

[amirinthewind]

I’m feeling lost but in a good way. Like I have no negative emotion towards my feeling of having no direction but I would like some direction. I totally get how easy it was for me to fall into depressive episodes for so long. Like it’s easy to feel like I have to pain the boulder up the hill but the reality is that I can just let it go. I can litteraly walk to the side and let the boulder roll down the hill. I feel purposeless now. But that’s just freedom. I don’t wanna look at the gift of freedom and leave it where it is. I’m pretty sure boredom is where I build my wings. It’s only morning until I do something. It’s only boring until I find a way to enjoy it. If I had a poster in front of me every 20 min to remind me I don’t hate life and that I can feel better it’s be very helpful. That’s why I write so many sticky notes. I used to. Not having a center ti share feels weird. Like I wanna put all of my art into the world but I don’t wanna give it to people it’s not for. But by waiting I’m leaving the people who need the art. It’s not even a dilemma I just need to get over myself and share. Ugh

[amirinthewind]

I have made so much stuff, I’ve never felt like I had a place to put it all

[amirinthewind]

This is my floor.

[amirinthewind]

I’ve reached 5 reblogs. Truly I am using this much more than I thought I would. Lots of kinda cool art here. Lots of freaky ass stuff in here too. I’ll find a space. Or make a space

These are some of favorite notes I’ve helped make. These are all made in small moments I give myself throughout my day. Usually at work. I find writing down my thoughts is very important for me so this became my way of remembering the important thoughts. Everything true repeats. I’ll see it again if it’s real ;)

[amirinthewind]

I wanna make so many of these that everyone has something to identify with. Find YOURSELF in my artwork. Not me.