amore-reads16

[amore-reads16]

Part 5

Overview- things are getting even more tense in the quadrant and the secret relationship that Y/N and Liam are hiding is becoming a problem. There are too many secrets to hide and reveal and Y/N needs to find her footing and keep herself and Liam safe.

Note- I don’t know if there are any Merlin lovers but this giff is perfect for Liam’s reaction to Violets antics in this chapter lmao.

After your talk with Liam you had gone to your own room. You had both discussed how you were going to manage to convince Xaden that you were staying away from Liam, but that should be relatively easy to do as Xaden had convinced Liam to basically become a body guard for Violet Sorrengail. You knew the Sorrengail family pretty well because of your parents you were in the same circles. But you didn’t know the youngest that well despite being of the same age. She was a nice enough girl from what you knew of her and she had been holding up extremely well in the quadrant considering her frail body and the long list of people that wanted to kill her, but you weren’t particularly fond of the idea of Liam spending all of his time with her. She was no threat and you trusted Liam not to do anything, but just the idea made you uneasy. No girl would want their significant other spending that much time with another girl. No one. But you had no say in the matter and causing a fuss would only draw attention to something you didn’t want attention on. So for now you were biting your tongue.

You were currently in the library sorting out some books as it was your duty as a first year when you suddenly heard voices from behind the bookshelf you were standing at. One voice you recognised immediately, it was hard not to when it haunted your dreams and kept you up at night. Of course, just your luck that Liam and Violet would be here. It would be wise at this point to walk away, but today you weren’t feeling wise and instead was feeling nosey and jealous.

“So whatever happened between you and Y/LN? You two were pretty close for a while” Violet asks.

You hear Liam pause for a minute thinking about what to say before he responds “it’s a long story, I guess, but we just didn’t work out”

“Why? The last I saw was you basically chasing after her in the corridors begging her to let you explain something. That doesn’t sound like things just not working out to me” Violet says clearly prying making you wonder why she would be so interested. Jealousy rears its ugly head again.

“Well well aren’t we nosey today Sorrengail. What’s it to you anyway? You interested in her? Because she’s single now I could try and set you two up if she’ll ever speak to me again” he jokes making you shake your head at him.

“What? No! I just- I just thought that maybe something got between you two. Well someone…” she trails off, too embarrassed to finish that sentence

“Who?” Liam demands instantly making your stomach churn. Please violet Sorrengail do not say Bodhi or Liam will loose his shit you quietly pray.

“Xaden” she replies. WHAT. You almost choke on your own spit, so shocked at the name that just left her mouth. Xaden? XADEN? Why the fuck would she think that.

There is a short moment of silence before Liam bursts out laughing so hard it almost compels you to blow your cover and laugh with him. You hear Violet let out a huff as Liam continues to laugh, probably in her face, making her even more annoyed and embarrassed.

“Xaden?” Liam manages to choke out “why ever would you think that?”

Violet lets out another huff “well when she fought Bodhi on the mats the a few weeks ago he couldn’t keep his eyes off their fight and he almost looked worried. I just assumed that maybe there was something going on between them. And then when she walked off the mat she went right up to him and whispered something to him. I- it looked like they were together” she rambles. She couldn’t be further from the truth you thought shaking your head. Now your jealousy had completely dissolved. It was crystal clear that Violet Sorrengail was not interested in Liam. She had the hots for Xaden Riorson. Gods help her.

“Sorrengail it is so transparently clear what is going on here” Liam seemed to had arrived at the same conclusion as you “you like Xaden don’t you?” He asks and you could practically see the taunting smirk on his face by the tone in his voice. You almost felt sorry for the girl. She must be mentally insane to ever have a crush on Riorson. Yeah he is hot as hell, but clearly fucked in the head you think.

“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard you say yet Mairi. I was just… curious” Violet responds “and I never even-“ you don’t hear the rest of that sentence as you quietly walk away, your jealousy now dead and your patience gone. You don’t exactly want to hear Sorrengail deny her obvious feelings for Riorson. You had more important things to do.

Putting your last book away you feel a hand slip around your waist tightly. Shit. You elbow the intruder in the stomach grabbing their throat pinning them against the book shelf.

“Liam!” You shout realising who had just grabbed you and who you had just assaulted in the middle of the library.

“Woah! I knew you liked it rough but here? In the library? That’s a new level of kinky” he smirks and you let him go.

“You’re a dick! What are you doing sneaking up on me like that?” You ask.

“Well the whole point of our relationship now is being sneaky” he smugly responds grabbing your waist again to pull you against him.

“Jesus Christ and what part of this” you gesture between the two of you “is being sneaky”

“Well I guess no part, but I just couldn’t resist” he laughs quietly “I knew you were there. Before. When I was talking to Violet”

The smirk on his face makes you want to slap him “and?” you ask.

“And you were jealous. I could feel it through the book shelf basically radiating off you” he teases.

“What like you were with Bodhi ?” you argue back.

“Don’t” his jaw ticks.

“And anyway I have nothing to be jealous of it’s quite clear that the wing leader is the one she wants, not you” you say smiling slightly remembering how much Liam had laughed when Violet thought Xaden was the reason you and him had been on the outs.

“That was hilarious and you should have seen her face gods-“

“You can tell me later” you smile patting his chest and removing yourself from him “we can’t keep on doing this in public. It’s only been a few weeks and we have already been too public” you sigh.

“I know but it’s so hard when you walk around in those lathers that make me want to-“

You quickly cut him off “I’ll see you later Mairi” you wink giving him a quick kiss on the lips before walking off making sure to swish your hips.

“Now that’s not fair” you hear him mutter.

…………………………………………….

Later on that week you were walking to the session you have with Dain and Professor Carr to mature and control your signets. Which of course was a secret to everyone else, except from Liam and apparently the marked ones, and if anyone was to ask where you were, you were in your room sleeping off one of the frequent migraines you got (which you actually didn’t). Rounding the corner almost at Carr’s room your body slams into a rock solid object confusing you immensely. There is no way you had just walked into a wall… no that was not a wall. You look up confused and dazed as to what you just walked into only to see non other than Xaden Riorson. Of fucking course. Ever since your talk with him, in fact ever since that night with the hooded figures, he was everywhere you looked. Perhaps you just hadn’t noticed him before but that seemed impossible as he commands any room he walks into. But now it’s like it was his mission to invade your life. Which made keeping you and Liam a secret even harder.

“Sorry” you quickly mumble and attempt to step around his massive figure but he steps with you obstructing your path.

“Where are you going” he asks brow raised.

Like that was any of his business you think “I don’t think that concerns you” you say tone clipped at the audacity of this man.

He stares at you for a long moment and his jaw clenches as he speaks “you wouldn’t be heading to see Liam would you?”

You startle in shock, there is no way he knows surly ? “No you basically threatened my life and my brother’s life if I was to do that, so why would I risk that over a stupid boy?” You try to sound persuasive but the way Xaden is eyeing you up as if he can smell your lies is unnerving.

“Not basically I did threaten your life” he replies quickly.

That’s it you’d had enough of his attitude “you’re such an assho-“ you don’t get to finish the sentence as suddely Liam and Violet appear at your sides. Liam looks apprehensive as to whatever is transpiring between you and Xaden, whereas Violet is eyeing the two of you up judging the situation.

“Woah hey guys what’s going on here” Liam asks trying to get in between you and Xaden but failing miserably.

“Nothing I was just alerting the wingleader to how much of a dick he is being” you reply with a sarcastic smile aimed at Xaden.

Xaden scoffs shaking his head slightly as he glances at Violet taking in her appearance before levelling his gaze back to you “and I was just reminding cadet Y/LN of her place”

“You know what Xaden you can shove it where the sun doesn’t shine” you spit, frustrated as hell.

“Okay let’s just cool it for a moment-“ Liam starts but you don’t let him finish.

“And what the hell are you doing?” You ask him turning your body to face his

His face startles for a moment confused at why you are mad at him “well- I- I was just seeing what the problem was-“

“No” you stop him again “what are you doing talking to me? I told you Mairi I don’t want you to ever speak to me again so for the last time, and I mean it, leave me the fuck alone before you get yourself hurt” you threaten hoping that Liam catches on to your performance.

He gulps and hurt, real hurt flashes in his eyes, he clears his throat “right, sorry, I just thought-“

“I don’t need you swooping in to save me. I’m a big girl and I can handle myself. Especially around jerks like him” you point over to Xaden who is standing cross armed his gaze flickering between you and Liam trying to read the situation.

“Jerk? That’s the best you can do?” Xaden, the jerk, says with a hint of amusement in his voice.

“Shut it Riorson.” You reply and are about to call him every name under the sun before a firth person enters the gathering you have somehow formed. Great.

“Cadet Y/LN” Dain approaches confused at the sight of the four of you. Perhaps the most unlikely group of four. “Professor Carr is looking for you and asked if I’d escort you to him immediately” he says staring Xaden down as if he could take him. You liked Dain, but boy was his ego overinflated if he thought he could beat Riroson. The man was an asshole but boy was he skilled. “So if you all don’t mind” he continues “I’ll be taking Y/N now”

Liam, who has often expressed to you how much he loathes Aetos, furrows his brows “actually I do mind-“

“Liam” Xaden cuts him off

“Of course let’s go” you say to Dain as you walk away. You hear another set of foot steps near you and Xaden overtakes you and Dain glancing back to look at you once more. The look is filled with the warning he gave before and you know he will not take any more bullshit from you. Good you think it was time things got a bit interesting around here. Game on Riorson.

“And you are telling me there’s nothing going on there” you just about hear Violet say as you round the corner to Carr’s office

“Come on Violet let’s just go” Liam sighs.

………………………………………

After the showdown in the hallways you had made sure you slipped a note under Liam’s door to meet you in your room after curfew, but after the way you spoke to him you was unsure he would even come. Today has been a long day and the ‘meeting’ with Carr had drained you. Mentally and physically. Your signet had been growing more strong recently and you thought it may reflect your need to heal the fragements that was your life at the minute. Everything used to be so whole and you used to feel complete. But after learning of the truth, being subject to threats from Riorson and now having to watch your boyfriend saunter around the quadrant with the youngest and most gorgeous Sorrengail you no longer felt the happiness you used to. You felt fear. Not to mention the cryptic moment you overheard between Dain and his father after your session today. That had just pushed you right over the edge. Being a double spy was tiring.

Liam walks into your room stopping your spiralling thoughts. Usually he walks in with a spring in his step, happy to see you. But today he sluggishly strolls in and immediately stands in the centre of your room whilst you are sat on your bed.

“What’s wrong” you ask and Liam starts to pace.

“I think he knows” he ominously says.

“Who” you ask confused at what Liam is acting so frantic about.

“Who do you think, the Easter bunny?” He snarls back finally stopping his pacing to look at you, hands on hips “Xaden of course”

You gulp back a reply “Oh”

“Yeah oh” he sighs and then lets out an agitated groan.

There was no way he was acting annoyed at you. Like this, any of this, was your fault “Why are you pissed at me?”

Liam lets out a incredulous laugh which is short and clipped “Well you aren’t helping the situation, baiting him at any chance you get!”

You roll your eyes back so hard you think they might be stuck permanently at the back of your head, the audacity! “Baiting him? I’m defending myself Liam! In a situation that you put me in in the first place ! Ever thought of that?” you yell.

He shakes his head and gives you an annoyed look “Let’s not go there. If you don’t like the situation leave it”

“You can’t be serious” you laugh but not because you are humoured, because you are in disbelief.

Liam moves closer to where you are sat on the bed and if you didn’t know him you would almost feel a need to be scared of him “I am. You can’t argue with Xaden and expect him to leave you alone” he bluntly says.

“He’s not going to leave me alone Liam! He’s always watching me!” You shout back getting up from your bed to get closer to him.

“And you’re always watching him!” He argues back

“Oh. My. God. Because I have to! It would be stupid of me to not be looking over my shoulder with him always lurking in the shadows. It’s not just my life on the line here. It’s not just my life I’m sacrificing to be with you, to help your revolution. Remember that!” You spit at Liam. He looks at you for a moment in a strange way something swirling in his eyes that you can’t quite put a finger on.

“That doesn’t mean you have to be up in his face every minute it’s like you have a crush on him or something” his tone lowers and he can barely look at you in the eye. It’s jealousy. That’s what you can see.

“You’re kidding me? Don’t tell me you’ve let Sorrengail and her school girl infatuation with Riorson cloud your judgement enough to think that I in any shape or way have feeling for Riorson!” You shout feeling defeated that you have to keep on defending your self to the man you love.

“I’m not saying that but-“ he starts but you cut him off immediately.

“No buts Liam. We either trust each other or we don’t! This will never work without trust. It’s full disclosure now remember” you grab his hand holding it tightly in your own using your other free hand to grasp his face making him look fully at you.

He takes a deep breath in and grabs your hair playing with it gently “Fine I get jealous. But how can I not when I feel like you talk more to Xaden then you do me. I know it’s not your fault but we barely get any time together and the time we do get is sneaked and rushed. I hate it” he explains and you agree with every word he says. It is hard. But just because something is difficult that doesn’t mean that you give up.

“I hate it too” you admit.

“So how do we change it” he asks.

You sigh pulling away from his hold as you now start to pace your room slowly as you think. “I don’t know. I don’t think we can completely. But how about I start to back off Xaden. You try to get Xaden to back of me and you. And then maybe, just maybe, we’ll be able to find some more time together without the fear of being watched”

“It’s worth a try” he agrees going to sit on your bed “Come here” he says holing his hands out and you fall into his hold sitting on his lap.

“I need to tell you something” you say quietly.

“Go on” he whispers clearly exhausted with everything that is currently weighing down on his soul.

“I overheard the end of a conversation that Dain had with with father today and it was strange” you start

“I’m listening” he ushers you on.

“They were talking about his signet and Aetos said something about Dain using his signet for the greater good despite how uncomfortable it made him. I don’t know the extent of what was said because it was so muffled but I got the impression that Dain’s father wants him to use his signet on someone to try and get some information out of them” you explain.

Liam stiffens for a second “Who”

You shake your head trying to think but nothing comes to mind “That’s what I don’t know and can’t figure out. I’m assuming some criminal or something but I don’t understand the urgency behind it. I thought I should tell you so you could tell the revolution perhaps they could figure it out”

“Thank you.” He says quietly planting a kiss on your forehead.

“I said I’d do whatever it takes to help didn’t I?” You smile and play with his hair combing your fingers through it.

Liam looks at you deeply as if he’s thinking about something and is working up the courage to say it out loud. “You did… look about what I said before. I was just being jealous and I didn’t mean it. I trust you completely. In fact I don’t think I’ve ever trusted anyone the way I trust you. So no matter how hard this gets and what I say out of pure jealousy just know I love you. And I want you. Always and forever.” His confession makes your heart melt and you don’t know what to do about that. What do you do when you are head over heels for someone so much that it consumes your very being?

“God your sappy Mairi” apparently you decide to make a joke about it. Well played Y/N.

“Hay! Say something nice back” he laughs and you know in that moment that the two of you were made for each other. You balance each other out.

“Come on quick one say something loving back…” Rhella your annoyingly nosey dragon decides to butt in.

“I love you too you loser”

[amore-reads16]

Part four

Overview- Y/N has a big decision to make after learning of something that will change life as she knows it. Liam finally is able to explain himself but will Y/N decide to help or betray him. the ball is officially in your court...

Note- I know this has taken a while so I apologise for everyone that’s been following along! I hope you enjoy! Let me know if you are liking where the story is going… I have a few more parts left in me so stay tuned for that 🫶🏼

“You’ve been ignoring me” Liam says cornering you just outside the dining room before dinner. You had managed to go the whole day without running into him somehow, but of course he would find you eventually.

“Have I?” You ask tilting your head to the side in a playful way. You had spent all last night trying to decide what to do. What your best move would be. And you decided if you wanted to learn Xaden’s plans then shutting Liam out would get you no where. So like he used you you would use him. Or perhaps that was just an excuse to give in to what your heart actually wanted but convincing yourself that seducing Liam solely for information was much easier.

“Tell me why” he isn’t just asking but demanding. He looks worried.

“I- I just needed time to think” you reply stepping backwards slightly. He follows your movements.

“Think” he repeats your words this time sounding even more worried than before.

You take in a breath ignoring the guilt that builds in your stomach making your throat go dry “yeah think… I’ve decided that I’m willing to hear your explanation”

Liam stands there in shock for a long moment before a wide smile grows on his face. He takes your arms in his hands pulling you closer. The guilt of what you are doing is now overwhelming. How are you meant to use this boy in front of you when he looks at you like that? With so much hope and love.

“You do?” He asks like an excited puppy.

“Yes” you gulp.

“Okay, well where do I even start? I wasn’t expecting you to want you talk to me. I thought you regretted what we did last night and when you said talk I thought you meant talk about how much you loathed me for taking advantage and how you hated every moment-“ the boy in front of you rambles so much you have to cut him of by placing your finger on his mouth.

“Liam stop. I don’t regret anything. I’d never regret anything like that. Not when it’s with you okay?” You say and perhaps this will be the only truth you tell him tonight you think.

“You don’t?” He asks.

“No. Never”

He grins wide taking your hand and placing it to his lips. “Let’s go to my room and we can talk?” He asks.

“Okay” you whisper and much like last night you follow him to his room but this time for a much different experience.

When you get to his room memories from last night flare up like a rash. You can still feel his hands in your hair, his lips on your neck, his body pressed on top of your own. Liam guides you to his bed where you both sit down and he starts talking.

“First I want you to know how sorry I am. I never wanted to hurt you but Xaden is a brother to me and he’s done so much for me, hells he took a lashing for all of us, and I owe him my life. I’d do anything for him and him me. So when he asked me to get close to you, to learn more about you, I had to do it. So I befriended you, started showing an interest in who you are, what you liked, what you disliked, your hobbies, your family, everything I could know I made it my mission to find out. And it was easy because the more time I spent with you the more I saw how incredible you are. At it was just meant to be friendly it was never my intention to fall for you but I did. And gods did I fall hard.” He takes a deep breath in reading your face which is to stunned to move. Hearing this was more overwhelming than you could have imagined.

He carries on “I still remember that night in the rain when we first kissed. How you looked, how you smelt, how you felt. You were like a drug to me and I knew I was about to be easily addicted to that feeling. The feeling of being with you, having you as my own. And I took advantage of that, I know, I knew it was wrong and that I’d built our relationship on this lie, this plot to learn your secrets. But I couldn’t stop. Once I had a taste of you I was done in for. So, selfishly, I carried on. I carried on kissing you, fucking you, making love to you. Xaden warned me that I’d gone too far, that I’d gone further than he’d ever intended but I didn’t care. As long as I had you and you didn’t know the truth everything would be okay. Until it wasn’t. That day you found out was the worst day of my life. And I was such a dick about it, pretending that I didn’t care for you, for your life, when that’s all I ever think about. I was torn. Between you, the woman I love, and Xaden, my brother who gave his life for me. If there was ever a way I could have had both I would have taken it in a heart beat but there wasn’t so I…” suddenly Liam stops talking so you finish the sentence for him.

“Chose Xaden”

Liam sighs putting his hands in his head in defeat “it’s not just Xaden it’s so much bigger than that”

“So tell me. Tell me what was so important to you that you jeopardised everything between us and kept me in the dark” the tears that roll down your face aren’t fake. They are very much real.

“I-“ he starts but can’t finish his sentence as you let your emotions run wild letting everything you’ve wanted to say for the last few weeks spill out of your mouth.

“What was so important that you lied to me, betrayed me and stabbed me in the back. How could you pretend that you loved me for all that time? What made you use me like I was a means to an end. Please I need to know what could be so important that you shattered me into pieces?” You sob unable to control your emotions any longer. He doesn’t even look at you as you spiral out of control. But you don’t let him get away that easy and you stand up walking around the bed to kneel in front of him removing his hands from his head

“Look at me” you whisper picking his chin up so that his face is level with yours.

“I didn’t pretend to love you” he gulps “I did love you and I wanted you to love me too so I kept what I had done a secret. I’ve been selfish, hell I’m still selfish for wanting you back despite knowing how much this is killing you, but I just can’t let you go. And if there is anything I can do to earn your trust back then I will do it” he pleads picking up your arms bringing you closer to him. “Please just tell me what I can do”

This was it. This was your opening to learn everything. And you needed to take it.

“You need to tell me the complete truth. There is a reason why Xaden wanted to know what my signet was. And there is a reason why he wanted me dead after I found out about your secret meeting. You want my trust back? You tell me everything.” You demand, unwavering in what you need to hear from him.

He thinks for a moment debating whether to give in and tell you everything or keep his promise to Xaden. You can see the battle in his eyes and almost feel guilty for forcing him into telling you. But then you remember what he did, how it made you feel, how it still makes you feel and any guilt you held disappeared. Liam gives in. He tells you everything. The revolution. Their plans. The wyvern and vernin that roam our skies. The threat that is knocking on the doors of your world as you knew it. Aretia. Smuggling weapons to fliers. And for once in your life you are too stunned to speak. Liam looks at you not knowing what you are thinking but desperately wanting you to tell him. And it stays like this for a while. You staring at him in shock and him staring at you in desperation. Tears well in both your eyes.

Liam has been holding all of this in? All the anxiety and worry about the future, a future he has been working so hard to keep from destruction and doom. He has had such a heavy weight on his shoulders and you had been making the situation so much worse. Shutting him out. Telling him how much you hated him. How you never wanted to speak to him. God how could you have not seen how much he was coping with. Did that make you a bad person? Was this plan for revenge petty in the grand scheme of things? Did this make it easier to forgive him?

There were too many questions running rampant in your head that you didn’t know what to do, what to say.

“Please say something” he begs. It’s rare that Liam begs.

“I don’t get where I tie into all of this?” You ask in a low voice. It may be selfish that the first thing you say about the shit load of daunting information you had just been told was about you, but if you were going to trust him again you needed to know your part in all of this. Maybe then you might know how to feel.

“Your signet, Aetos’ signet, they are weapons to Basgiath. Weapons against the revolution. We needed to assess how much of a threat you were going to be to us” he responds

“And then what?” You ask

“I don’t know” he whispers “I don’t know what they wanted to do with you but please know this. I would have fought them to my last breath if they ever tried to lay a finger on you. I promise you this”

“Everything I have done since the moment I knew I was falling in love with you has all been for you. To keep you safe. I thought keeping you in the dark was the best way to do that. I thought if you didn’t know anything then I could keep you away from the danger away from Xaden. But I was wrong. I should have given you the choice to decide what to do and not tried to clip your wings before they even formed and had chance to spread. And for that I will forever be sorry”

Taking a deep, needed, breath in you take his hands in yours looking at him deeply “promise me this is all true. This is everything I need to know”

“I promise” he nods his head cradling your hands in his.

“Promise me you’ll never lie to me again”

“I promise”

You nod your head gulping back the knot that has formed in your throat. You realise now that the revenge that you seek, it’s not against Liam, or hells even Xaden despite him being a complete ass, it’s against Basgiath. Against the people in leadership who know about the threat but choose to ignore it and let innocents die. They are the enemy not the boy in front of you or his friends. You had been childish before. You had given into your raw emotions letting them lead you to a path of unchecked resent. You would no longer be that child. There was a bigger game out there to be played and toying with Xaden Riorson to get justice for yourself would get you no where. Exposing Xaden’s plans would bring down the revolution and would bring down any chance of a safe life. This was so much bigger than you and your petty emotions.

“Then I’m with you.” You finally say “wholly and completely I am with you. What’s mine is yours and I will do everything in my power to aid you and your cause. Its the right thing to do and I-“ you stop for a minute to process the words you are about to say “and I love you”

He sucks in a quick breath taken back by your words “you love me? After everything you love me still?” He asks.

“I don’t love what you did. I don’t love that you thought I wouldn’t choose you and the revolution. I don’t love that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me this when you first knew you were falling for me. I don’t love that you made me feel like a fool. But I do love you and I understand the burden you have had to keep. There is no point in me holding you against something that is much bigger than the both of us. We must move forward now together. No lies, no secrets and no more betrayals okay? It’s me and you now” you say presetting your forehead against his and your hand on his face caressing it slowly.

“Me and you yeah?” He asks as if he needs confirmation that this is all real. That you are in front of him willing to forgive and forget. You are willing to move on.

“I need to tell you something” you blurt.

Now he’s the one that looks frightened “okay go ahead…”

“Xaden warned me last night when I left your room to stay away from you. He told me that if I didn’t then our deal is off. So basically I’ll be dead and so will my brother” you say slowly unsure on how Liam would take the information and by the looks of it he was fuming.

“That motherfucker-“ he starts but you cut him off to try and diffuse his anger.

“I guess it’s understandable with so much as stake. But we can’t let him know about us” you try to reason. Xaden may not be your most liked person but Liam loved him and you would not be the thing that destroyed that bond.

“So there is an us” Liam says his anger fading as he grabs a strand of your hair to play with needing to touch you in some way.

“Yes Liam there is an us” you smile watching his hands get tangled in your hair.

“God I love you” he responds drawing you in to a short sweet kiss filled with compassion.

“Okay no distractions this is serious” you say pulling away putting a little space between the pair of you “ Xaden won’t understand why you’ve told me all of this. And he certainly won’t accept me into your circle. You know he doesn’t trust me and if I’m honest Liam I don’t trust him either.” You say head low at the impossible situation you now stand in.

“I know” he agrees.

“But I still want to help in anyway that I can. So this is what I’m thinking, I’ll find out the information that you need and only I can get. I’ll report back to you and then you can tell Xaden and the revolution. Then when the time comes we can tell Xaden together how much I’ve been helping and perhaps then he’ll accept this and I don’t be dead” you try to laugh at the end to pass the severity of the situation as a joke but Liam doesn’t find it too funny.

“This is ridiculous” he complains rubbing his brows together with one hand.

“Well this is where we are Liam” you reply moving closer taking his hand away from his forehead looking in his eyes to let him know that this is okay and you are willing to do this.

“Okay, let’s see how this goes and then we can re-asses. I don’t like lying to him like this, but you are right he doesn’t and won’t trust you, maybe ever, perhaps it would be best if we show him that he can trust you but without him knowing that’s what we are doing” he pauses for a moment before looking at you seriously “And as for us? What will we do about that?” He asks.

“We keep us a secret. In the corridors I’ll act like I have been doing, like I hate you, despise the ground you walk on” you answer.

“And in private?” He smirks slowly in a deviously cruel way.

“Well I’ll love you and we can be… us” you whisper looking down playing with his fingers too shy to look at his face. It was less than 24 hours ago that you were planning the destruction of Xaden Riorson and now you are willing to help the bastard and aid a revolution.

“I don’t think I’ll ever not love hearing you say that” Liam grins watching you as you mess with his fingers.

“What?” You ask finally gathering the courage to look him in the eye.

“That you love me. That’s there’s an us” he says making your heart melt. This boy will be the death of you.

“There’s always been an us we just were to stubborn to see that” you reply

His smile slowly fades of his face and is replaced by a worried expression making your stomach drop “We will get through this won’t we?”

“I really hope so Liam”

[amore-reads16]

Part three- Liam Mairi x fem reader

Overview- after Y/N’s challenge with Bodhi on the mats tension is in the air. Rumour has spread on your fighting skills and you can no longer hide under the shadows of mediocrity you had found comfort in. Meanwhile avoiding Liam has become near to impossible as he corners you at every chance he gets. Will you forgive him and fall back into the web of deception he spun or will you stand your ground and shut him out until he disappears. Liam hopes for the latter.

WARNING- slight smut…

Note- thank you so much for all the support on this story! I don’t want to make it into a big thing despite all the ideas I have! So I’m thinking another two parts and I’ll try and draw it to a close. Also let me know if you would want a Xaden x reader story because I have some ideas for a few short parts for that as well! Anyway enjoy this part :)

Also I hope everyone enjoys the little cruel prince reference at the end it just came to me and I couldn’t resist putting it in …

Avoiding Liam is like avoiding flies on a hot summers day. Annoyingly impossible. After his jealous outburst the other day he can’t seem to leave you alone, bothering you with a thousand questions which range from petty inquiries into any kind of attachment you may have with Bodhi- ‘so you’re telling me you don’t have a crush on him because the way you pinned him down on that mat would say otherwise Y/N’ and more painful questions that you didn’t know the answer to yet like ‘when are you going to forgive me? When are you going to let me in and let me explain everything? When are you going to admit to yourself that you know I love you’. That last one had hurt. You didn’t know he loved you. Not anymore, after everything he did, you were finding it hard to believe anything he ever said to you was true.

You couldn’t bear to hear him explain everything to you. To hear all of his lies directly would just crush you even more. But if he explained everything and you forgave him only to learn that he was deceiving you again and this was a ploy to learn more about your signet… well that would destroy you. There was no right move to make so ignorance was bliss at the moment. Well kind of. It was hard to be ignorant of the situation when the situation wouldn’t leave you alone. In fact the situation was currently running behind you trying to catch up with your fast pace.

“Y/N will you please just wait !” Liam shouts breathlessly.

You carry on trying to ignore his shouts and the nosey people that watch the scene he is now making. He eventually catches up with you and stands in front of you grabbing your arms to stop you walking into him holding you still, much to your dismay. You huff in annoyance as he pants from sprinting down the hallway.

“Where-“ he breathes in “did you learn to walk like that?” He shakes his head quickly catching his breath.

“What do you want Mairi?” You snap and he sighs in response.

“Back to last names are we now?” He tuts shaking his head.

“Saying your first name feels to intimate” you snark back “and the thought of anything intimate with you makes me feel sick”

He laughs at this. But not a jovial laugh, no it’s sarcastic and filled with humour as if he’s in on some joke you aren’t. “We both know that’s not true. Especially when I curl my fingers when I’m deep in-“

You quickly cut him off slamming your hand on his mouth, your eyes wide in horror of what he has just said in the middle on the corridor with people walking by and listening. This boy will be the death of you. You grab his hand and swiftly pull him into the side near a window so the two of you can have a little space.

“Shut up!” You snarl “you can’t say shit like that in the middle of the corridor it’s disgusting”

He smirks and leans up against the wall crossing his arms showing how tight and muscular they are. Fuck me. He’s gorgeous. How can someone be so despicable but so damn attractive to you? No clear thoughts come to your mind. The only thought is that you want nothing more than to feel Liam’s arms wrapped around your waist once more as you straddle him slightly rocking back and forth whilst he-

“What are you thinking there Y/LN” he smirks even harder making you frustrated with how much he is enjoying seeing you squirm just by one action. Especially an action as pathetic as leaning up against a wall. Get yourself together woman!

“How much I want to-“ you start but he cuts you off.

“Fuck me?”

“Kill you” you finish “I will never fuck you”

“Again” he adds to your sentence reminding you of all the times you spent wrapped up in his sheets.

“Yes again.” You say begrudgingly “Well what did you want ?” You demand to avoid anymore sexual talk.

“You know what I want” he says simply. Any hint of flirtyness is gone and now he is serious. He wants to talk.

“To explain yes but you know what I want also. I want you to leave me alone because I don’t want your explanation” you say and attempt to walk away but he grabs your arms pivoting you back around to face him. You are only a few inches away from his body now. So close you can see the fleks of pale green that run through his eyes. The way his golden hair flops in front of his face. His perfectly shaped nose and its slight slope at the bottom. His lips- so pink and so soft… you almost cave. Breathing in deeply you meet his eyes which are staring into yours so deeply you think you might melt right here right now.

“I think you do want my explanation but you are too scared to admit it” he starts pulling you even closer. Great you think now you officially can’t breathe. “I think that you are too scared to hear what I have to say because you’ll realise that I do love you and I fucked up badly but I am willing to do anything to earn back your trust.” Now he’s caressing your arm stoking up and down it with his fingers calloused from carving his wood figures. “I think that in time you’ll trust me and we will be stronger than ever. I think that is what scares the shit out of you.” He pulls his hands away from your arm and steps backwards leaving your body cold and craving the warmth he just briefly supplied.

“But maybe I’m wrong” he carries on and you cross your arms across your body as if you are trying to recreate the warmth of his body. “Maybe you don’t want this as much as I do”

“Is that a challenge?” You ask straightening your posture so you at least look more intimidating and not like a baby deer.

“Only if you want it to be” his smirk returns almost making a smile appear on your face.

“In your wildest dreams Mairi” you mumble turning away and heading towards your class which he has officially made you late to.

“Oh but you are in my dreams!” He hollers after you as you are halfway down the corridor. “And that’s not just the dirty ones!”

You shake your head and are glad your back is facing him as you finally let a smile on your face. Dickhead.

……………………………………

All through battle briefing all you could think of was the feel of Liam’s hands on your body, stroking your arm slightly causing goosebumps to spread over your skin. And the smug bastard was sat across from you staring at you as if he knew exactly what you were thinking. Bastard. How bad would it be if you were to just have sex with him once? Use him to get whatever it was in your system out. Bad. Very bad you have to tell yourself. He lied to you, poisoned you with his words, he told you he loved you. All to aid Xaden Riorson and whatever twisted scheme he was brewing. You wanted no part of that. But Liam on the other hand… that was a different story. At first when you had learned of his betrayal you were mad, so mad it caused you to beat the shit out of Bodhi on the training mats just to prove you were a threat. But now that anger had faded and day by day you just grew more sad consumed in the heartbreak Liam had caused. And it was easier to remember the love you felt for him. It was harder to block past memories out. But you needed to. You couldn’t trust him anymore.

After classes was over and it was dinner time you decided to skip the meal and get something later once everyone had gone to bed or gone off to do their own things. Instead you were sat in the very garden you had witnessed the hooded figures discussing the information Liam had gathered on you. You sat in the crook of an old tree reading a book about the history of dragons and their riders. Learning about the most skilled riders in the history of Navarre brought you comfort and hope. Hope that you could survive this hell hole and build a better life for you and your brother.

‘Incoming quick one, you have company’ Rhella warns in your mind.

Immediately you shut your book drawing a dagger from your leather pants. You spring up from your seat pointing the dagger into the darkness ready for Xaden or perhaps Imogen to spring from around the corner and slit your throat. But neither of them appear. Instead a blonde mop of hair peers around the corner causing you to sigh, partly out of annoyance and partly out of relief.

“Woah! Put the dagger away sweetheart” Liam laughs his hands up in the air in a mock surrender

Not putting the dagger down but lowering it slightly you glare at Liam who is walking closer. “You idiot Liam! I thought you were-“ you begin but don’t have the energy to finish. You don’t particularly want to admit how vulnerable he and his friends has made you feel. How you can barely sleep at night out of fear you may never wake up. “Never mind” you finish after a long moment of silence. Feeling defeated you lower your dagger completely.

“Y/N” Liam pleads “you don’t think I’d hurt you do you?” He asks, clearly hurt.

“Of course I do! You’ve already hurt me! You were planning to kill me with your friends!” You shout anger rising in your body again.

He takes in a deep breath walking closer until he is only a short distance away but you could tell he was at least trying to be respectful tonight. “Please understand this, even if you’ll never let yourself understand anything else about what I did, I would never hurt you. Ever”

Tears suddenly begin to pool in your eyes. The soft tone of his voice, caring and caressing at the same time soothing you in some strange unexplained way despite everything. The air is thick with the loss of him and the indecision of whether to cave to everything your body wants, but your mind and heart refuses. He comes closer very slowly, almost testing if you’ll give him permission to be this close to you. You don’t back away or yell so he takes it and uses a hand to wipe a stray tear that falls from your eye.

“I’m so sorry Y/N” he whispers bringing his forehead to yours. And for a moment you embrace it. For a moment you breathe in his sent which reminds you of the fresh sea and clean linen. For a moment everything finally feels normal again and you are complete. But this is only for a moment. Pushing Liam off you forcefully you scoff loudly.

“Sorry doesn’t cut it Liam!” You sob “I love you and you are ruining my life!” You shout getting close to his face, finger pointing at him as you get close enough to start hitting his chest repeatedly.

“You still love me?” He says so quietly you barely hear him.

You sneer at his words “Loved. Past tense.”

“You said love” he replies.

“That’s semantics” you counter ashamed of your own slip up.

“What can I do to fix this if you won’t let me explain! To get you to trust me again! I’ve tried! I AM trying! But you won’t let me in” he’s shouting now clearly frustrated with the situation at hand.

“Why can’t you understand Liam? I. Don’t. Want. You. Anymore” you spit.

“Bullshit” he quickly responds staring down at you grabbing your arms to keep them from hitting his chest. “I know you want this more than anything and that you have to stop yourself everyday from running over to me just to touch me, be near me. That everyday is a battle between what you know you actually want and what you should want. And I’m fed up of not being able to do this” his voice has changed, it’s darker now, full of lust and craving different to his normal happy, cheeky persona. He bows his head towards yours causing your breath the get strangled in your throat. The action is so quick you are unsure there was anyway you could have stopped it, not that you wanted to, as he aggressively kisses you. Weeks of absence from you has left him depraved as he almost devours your lips. You kiss back on reflex, your bodies moulding together instinctively as if that’s where they belong. This is wrong is all you can think. But why does something so wrong feel so right? The pair of you stumble towards the tree you were once sheltered in and are now using as a surface to be pressed up against whilst Liam ravishes your body. He slides his hands under your shirt fondling the bottom of your breast making you shiver and let out a small whimper into his mouth at the contact. This pleases Liam as you feel the smirk on his face as you kiss him.

“Shut up” you hiss in between kisses

“Didn’t say anything love” he replies as he removes his mouth from yours moving into your neck sucking on the sweet spot he knows all too well.

“Liam” you moan trying to keep your voice down realising you are still outside “not here” you manage to say.

He pulls away but he’s still so close you can feel his breath on your skin. “Do you want to-“

You are so desperate in this moment reason is a thing of the past and you immediately agree to whatever it is he was going to suggest “yes”

“I didn’t even finish my-“

“Yes” you say again causing him to gulp pressing another longing kiss onto your lips. With you pressed against a tree his body consuming yours as he leans one hand above your head against the bark he looks like a god. And who can say no to a god you try to make excuses for what you know you are about to do, and in the morning regret. But your body has needs and unfortunately for you he knows every single one of them.

“Okay” he barely whispers leaning away from the tree whilst he takes your soft hand in his beginning to lead you back into the quadrant and to his bedroom. Oh shit. Doubt begins to fill your mind which he senses. He brings you to a halt at his door.

“We don’t have to do this. I don’t want to do anything with you that you’ll regret. That would kill me” he says slowly and sadly. And that was it. In that moment you knew that no matter what he had done, no matter how much it had hurt you, this boy in front of you cared for you more than you would ever fully accept. Which is why you reach behind him twisting the knob on his door opening it whilst you push him into his own room.

“I want you Mairi. Even if in the morning I’ll tell you differently. Tell you I despise your very existence. Tell you I want nothing to do with you. Even maybe swing a punch. I won’t mean it. Not really, not deep down. Just know that” you say softly. He nods in response uttering the very three words that ignite and crush your soul at the very same time.

“I love you”

…………….…………………………….

Liam had fallen asleep ages ago however you could not manage to get any rest. His arm was wrapped around your waist in a familiar way as your back pressed up against his front with your legs intertwined. It was odd how quickly the two of you fit back together like nothing had happened and all was normal. But all was not normal which is why you couldn’t seem to get any sleep. You needed to get out of there. The weight of him was suffocating, not because he was heavy, but because what you had just done was weighing you down. You had told yourself that no matter what you wouldn’t let Liam worm his way back into your life but here you were. Naked. In his sheets. Fuck. You needed to get out of there… now.

Savouring perhaps the last moment you would have with Liam you carefully, and slowly, lifted his arm from around your body managing to slide out of his grasp replacing the spot where your body just was with a pillow to avoid him waking up and wanting to talk… to explain.

As quietly as possible you put on your clothes and slip out of Liam’s door. When you are on the other side you release a long sigh suddenly torn between running back into Liam’s bed or running to your room where you can try and forget what just happened and how it made you feel. Going to your room is the logical thing and today you side with logic. You begin to walk down the corridor but you don’t get far before a voice calls out from the shadows

“Going somewhere?”

Your body stiffens. You immediately reach for your dagger only for a thick tendril of smoke to wrap around your hand stopping you.

“There will be no need for that” the voice emerges from the shadows. Xaden. Tonight may just be your last night on earth you think.

“Riorson. Lurking in the shadows as per usual” you snarl turning around to meet Xaden’s face which is even more striking in the moonlight.

“I could say the same thing about you considering our last encounters have been centred around you sneaking around in the dead of night” he says striding forwards slowly towards you. A predator stalking his prey.

“Touchè” you say nonchalantly. Normally, seeing Xaden, especially after everything that had happened, would make your hairs stand up, your posture rigid and your breath hitched out of fear and sheer awe over his power. But tonight you couldn’t be bothered being on guard, you were too emotionally torn to fight back tonight. There is a moment of silence where you stare at him and him you.

“So” you begin “if you’ve come to kill me just get it over with and if not I’ll be going to my room, I’ve had a long night and no offence, well maybe offence, you are the last person I want to be talking to right now” you say crossing your arms waiting for him to either kill you or dismiss you.

“We made a deal. I don’t harm you or your brother and you keep our secret safe” he says flatly.

“Yes we did indeed, but I’ll be damned if I ever trust a word that comes out of your mouth” you are growing tired of this now. Bored of whatever this conversation is, but then Xaden says something that makes you go rigid.

“I know you’ve just come out of Liam’s room, and I can take a guess at what you have been doing” he whispers making you wish you never left Liam’s bed.

“And?” You ask

“If our deal is going to work that can’t happen again” he says. At this you scoff shaking your head not quite believing the words that have just left his mouth.

“So you send your friend to con me, you expose my secrets, you try to kill me and now you are telling me who I can and can’t sleep with?” The question is rhetorical and you can’t understand why you are even having this conversation.

“This isn’t going to end well” he says in a softer tone now “for him or you. You don’t fit in with us, you don’t belong with him. You will never understand him or his goals.” Xaden is now standing so close to you that you can feel the cool shade of his shadows wrapping around you in a threatening manner. “Stay away for him” he says voice low “or our deal is going to be called off and I don’t think I have to remind you of the consequences of that”

You stare at him in shock and he meets your gaze never flinching or backing down. Anger bubbles inside you itching to be let out. How dare he try and control your life. How dare he dictate yours and Liam’s relationship. How dare he after everything he has put you and Liam through think he has any right to be the ultimate decider of your fate, your future. Fuck that. But you are wise enough to not lash out. So you keep calm and appear intimidated, although that part is easy when a 6 foot god knows what jacked male towers over you, and you nod your head slowly submitting to his command.

“All I have to do is stay away and I’ll be safe? My brother will be safe?” You ask, doe eyed.

“Yes” he says simply

“Okay” you mumble so low you aren’t even sure he hears but nods curtly giving you one last look, probably assessing you, before he walks away becoming one with the shadows again.

It was then and there where you came up with your plan- if you couldn’t be better than them you would become so much worse. Play them at their own game. Learn their secrets just like they did yours. Then the power would be in your hands. You would be the one calling the bets. And how amazing would it feel to finally have justice, to be the one doing the threatening and not be the threatened. And maybe, just maybe, then you would finally feel normal.

[amore-reads16]

Liam Mairi x fem reader

Overview- part two

After Y/N has found out the truth about Liam, and the betrayal their entire relationship was built on, she has to navigate her nexts steps very carefully with her life at risk. Meanwhile Liam is overcome with the guilt his actions has made him feel and is trying to get Y/N alone to explain everything even if it means betraying Xaden and the revolution.

Pain and gut wrenching heart ache would be the only emotions you would be feeling if it wasn’t for the blood curdling anger that consumed your body after learning of Liam’s back stabbing betrayal. You didn’t think that you had gotten a second of sleep last night. All you could think of was that monumental moment last night when you realised your whole relationship with Liam had been built on a lie, on a plot, on a command from wingleader Xaden Riorson. When your signet had manifested you had been pulled out of class immediately and sent to an empty room, isolated, until general Sorrengail strode in only to tell you that your signet was powerful and a key asset to the academy. There hadn’t been a healer this gifted since your mother is what the general had told you. Knowledge of this could but you in a vulnerable position- people would come for you, manipulate you, use you. And they did. You were just too naive to see that. Especially when that person had such an innocent, angelic aura about him. ‘An angel sent from god himself’ you used to call him. Used. He was now the devil in your eyes, perhaps Lucifer incarnate- an angel who fell from god’s graces, banished to hell only to seek vengeance on mere mortals like yourself.

Not only had you betrayed yourself, put yourself in harms way, but you had also betrayed general Sorrengail and to think of her wrath was to think of your death. There was only one thought swirling in your mind- either way you are dead. Xaden upholding his promise to let you live would be like believing that the wyvern described in the folk stories your mother used to hide under the loose floor board in your family home was real. Fantasy and impossible. But if you were to go to general Sorrengail and tell her the truth of what had happened she would most definitely kill you for your idiocy. To reiterate, either way you were dead.

You could lie in bed debating your imminent death no longer. It was either kill or be killed. And you sure as hell wasn’t about to leave your brother to fend for himself with no family left in this twisted world. You had a plan. You had been plotting all night. You would make yourself look like a threat to Xaden and his marked group. If you appeared to be strong, a force to be reckoned with then perhaps they would all think twice about crossing you or your brother. And if plan A failed then kill or be killed would have to become your new motto. You wanted Liam dead that was sure in your mind but whether you had the actual ability to do so was another debate completely. You had loved him and to kill him would be to kill a part of your soul. Fuck him you thought. He would regret the day he ever crossed you and you would make his life a living nightmare. That would be a revenge sweeter than death.

Getting out of bed you put on your tightest fighting leathers attaching your sharpest daggers to the pouches you had installed. Slicking your hair back into a long plait you were now ready to fuel your body for the day that was ahead of you. Luckily for you the quadrant was no foreign place to you despite being a first year. Your parents would fly you and Jude here all the time when you were both little and leave you to roam the academy whilst they ‘settled business’. Therefore you had friends here, knew people and had advantages. One of those many advantages was being friends with the kitchen staff and being welcomed whenever you didn’t want to sit in the dining hall and today was one of those days- seeing Liam right now would make you want to run over and slit his pretty little throat whilst you had the chance. So isolation it is.

“Hello Di, what’s for breakfast today” you asked the older woman who was stacking pastries on plates.

“Oh hello dear what are you doing down here this morning, we haven’t seen you for a while because of that boy you’re always hanging around with” Diana replies with a suggestive look and a twinkle in her eyes which just makes your heart crush even more.

“Oh… we had a falling out and I don’t really want to see him right now” you reply with a shrug trying to seem nonchalant. She raises an eyebrow at you. “Fine” you sigh “the thought of his face makes me want to take Rhella and burn this whole fucking place down so I thought it best if I breakfast in here this morning”

The woman just laughs slightly “well dear you are always welcome here. There’s croissants over there and some of that raspberry jam you like in that jar.”

You thank her and quickly eat your breakfast. You have things to do and people to see. And one of those people happens to be Dain Aetos who you catch as he is strolling down the corridor to the training mats.

“Dain! Wait up!” You yell at the boy. He stops and turns in surprise clearly confused as to why you are running after him in the corridors. You and Dain’s signets are classified so you had been advised to keep distance from each other in the public eye to avoid any assumptions being made. But the two of you were used to each others company as you had been training together in private ever since your signet manifested. He could be a pretentious dick at times and you and Liam had spent hours mocking him behind closed doors once you had told him your secret. But despite his arrogance Dain did have the ability to be a nice guy. He was caring and although he was a sucker for the rules he looked out for those he loved, even if he had a controlling way of doing that.

“Cadet Y/LN” he replies in a serious tone “can I help you?” He gives you a wide eyes look as if to say ‘what on earth are you doing talking to me in public?!’

“I’m sorry Dain” you whisper “but I need you to do me a favour and I wouldn’t be talking to you right now if I wasn’t desperate.”

He looks apprehensive and pulls you to a quiet corner after looking around for anyone who may be watching “what is it?” He asks clearly concerned.

“I need you to try and change who I’m fighting today on the mats. I need to fight Bohdi today” you ask, your eyes pleading with a boy who is not known for breaking the rules.

Dain takes in a deep breath before shaking his head “why? Why Bodhi of all people?”

That was a good question. You could have fought Liam and gods you wanted too. But you knew you wouldn’t be able to keep a cool control and the fight would be sure to turn into a blood bath. Garrick was a third year so that was off the cards and you didn’t trust Imogen not to skin you alive just for the fun of it. And as for Xaden well, you know where to pick your fights and you are not too proud to admit he would have you on your ass with a flick of his fingers. So Bodhi it was. “I can’t tell you that right now but I can explain everything later but trust me I need to do this today” you say.

He takes another long look at you debating whether whatever is going on with you is worth bending his moral compass. Eventually he sighs again placing his hands on his hips “okay I can try but why you would want to fight Bohdi, a second year, is beyond me. Have you seen him fight? You know he’s been trained by Riorson?”

You nod slowly but it is clear that your mind won’t be changed and Dain knows this. Even though the two of you have never been close he knows you. He’s known you since you were a child due to your parents importance. And that means he knows how stubborn you can be.

“Okay” he sighs for what feels like the millionth time “just- just don’t get yourself killed Y/LN”

“Don’t worry I won’t” you smirk and then walk away ready for what is about to come.

……………………………………

Walking into the combat room your heart was pounding in your chest so heavily you thought it may be the loudest sound in the room. But you needed to keep your head high, appear unbreakable because that’s what you were- unbreakable. You would not be bent by the hands of Xaden, Liam or anyone for that matter. The hustle of the room was nothing out or the ordinary. Everyone preparing to fight or watch as other people fought- sometimes to their deaths. Striding into the room you felt a pair of eyes on you. Blue eyes to be specific and they were burning a hole into your body. Liam was across the room surrounded by the people who were cloaked last night- Xaden, Garrick, Bohdi and Imogen. Scanning your body, taking in the tight leathers you had decided to adorn this morning, his mouth dropped ever so slightly before he closed it tightly, a grim expression on his face. You noticed it. You noticed everything about him. You always had, even before he had introduced himself that fated day. Liam tuned his head to face Xaden finally removing his eyes off you and you went to stand with your friends. Courtney, Elise and Kat were the only real friends you had made. You were friendly with everyone- hated no one other than now Liam and his group. But those girls you could trust with your life and they could trust theirs with you.

“Wow someone dressed up for the occasion” Kat whistles as you walk to them.

“This wouldn’t have to do with a certain sulking blonde haired boy would it?” Courtney chimes in.

“He’s been on edge ever since we saw him this morning in the dining hall” Elise says “anything happen between you two? With him looking like a kicked puppy and you in those revenge leathers I’m assuming there has been a lovers spat?”

Biting the inside of you cheek you struggle not spilling your entire guts right here to them, but you can’t and you need to hold yourself together, so you just shrug your shoulders sparing another glance at Liam who has gone back to looking at you. You catch his eyes momentarily but it feels longer as if the world had just stopped so the pair of you could gawk at each other. He is pleading with you to let him in. To let him explain. But you won’t let him and he knows this. He can tell by the deadness that is in your eyes. It used to be that when your eyes would meet he could feel your love, your happiness, your excitement but now there was nothing but a cold, hard resentment. You look away first, focusing on your friends once more as you reply to the question just asked “lovers spat is an understatement and as for the leathers… well he’s crossed the wrong woman.”

The girls all share a look and a sly laugh before the matches are called for the day and lo and behold the last match to be read out is yours.

“Y/N Y/LN and Bodhi Duran”

Dain actually pulled through. Thank you Dain you silently praise. Xaden looks shocked. Garrick looks concerned. Imogen looks pleased. And Liam… he looks mortified. They all think that this will be your death you think. They think you are weak but they haven’t seen how you fight. Not properly. But today that will change and they will know just how much of a threat you can be.

You take to the mat avoiding Liam’s obvious gaze as he tries to make you look at him. Tries to make you pull out of the match or tap out early. But that is the last thing you will be doing. He storms off somewhere you don’t know as you don’t grant him the privilege of your attention. No that is reserved for Bodhi as the two of you take to the mat and prepare to fight. He seems apprehensive and keeps on glancing in the direction Liam has just sauntered off in. Strange you think. Shouldn’t he be happy- doesn’t he want you dead? But you can’t think about the questions that swirl around your head instead you think about the facts. They all want you dead. Xaden would have killed you last night if it wasn’t for Liam’s logical interference. You can’t fight with mercy. You must fight with wrath. And so you do. The match begins. People have gathered around your mat in particular. Perhaps because of the determined look you are sporting or maybe because of the interest the fight has gathered from Xaden’s group. But he does not stand by the mat. Xaden is on the outskirts, as normal, his gaze flicking between your fight and what appears to be cadet Sorrengail who is stood with her friends watching Sawyer fight. You and Bodhi circle each other clearly sizing each other up. You have seen Bodhi fight before and he, like Dain argued before, is good. But he has never seen you fight to your full potential. That will change now. You leap with a stealth so surprising you catch Bodhi off guard and you manage to slide your dagger across his arm. A warning. He stumbles slightly before whipping around to face you, a shocked look on his face. Your dagger is still clutched tightly in your hand as Bodhi attacks almost charging at you, but you are quicker. You slide out of his way before elbowing his back sharply, winding him slightly and causing him to fall but he quickly gets back up. He looks pissed now. Good you think. He again attacks but you doge him, this time grabbing his arm and twisting it as you turn yourself under it getting behind him shoving him to the ground with great might, you yourself landing on top of him straddling his back.

You pull at one of the daggers that he carries in the side of his jacket with the hand that is not being used to twist his arm tossing it across the floor causing some bystanders to jump out of the way. Letting go of his arm you shock your audience as you stand up allowing Bodhi to also get back up.

“That’s one” you claim and use his confusion to your benefit as you punch him in the face, hard, pulling another dagger from his front. Doing the same thing as before flinging it to the side you mock the boy who is stood still in pure shock “and now that’s two. Come on Durran I thought this would be a hard fight” you smirk evilly at him. His confused look has now been replaced by anger and embarrassment. Good, that will work to your advantage you decide.

“So that’s how we are playing Y/LN” he asks wiping the blood from his nose.

“This isn’t a game to me” you spit as you pounce again but this time he is ready and grabs your waist tossing you to the floor with ease but you quickly roll out of the fall getting back to your feet with a laugh “that’s all you’ve got?” You laugh which doesn’t bode well for you as he charges with more force.

The two of you land many blows. He slaps you in the face so hard at one point thar you swear you see starts dotting your vision. “FUCK!” Someone yells angrily from the crowd “GET HER OUT OF THERE NOW!” but you can’t place the voice and if it wasn’t for the sheer determination of winning and more importantly surviving fueling you, you think you would have passed out. But power is power you think. And mine will be seen.

“As it should quick one” Rhella chants in your head motivating you to show everyone what you are truly made of. Blood and fire. Shattered love and vengeance.

Your fight has attracted a larger crowd now and whilst you have Bodhi locked in your grasp, another of his daggers in your hand and quickly on the floor, you catch a glimpse of striking blonde hair. Liam is here watching. Assessing. Hating every moment you hope. Bodhi is down to his last dagger and the pair of you are panting on the mat heavily. This has gone on for too long, and he is getting restless, determined more than ever to beat you feeling the humiliation of the loss of his six daggers. His last dagger must be important to him you think. It’s striking and has a blue sparkling gem at its hilt and swirling patters on its handle. It’s a beauty and it will be yours. You must rely on his assumptions and trick him into a trap. So you kick your leg out which he easily grabs. The crowd gasps thinking he has you. He could easily slam your body on the floor and be on top of it within moments. But they have never seen you fight like this before. You never wanted to show what you could really do. It would only make you stand out. And standing out in a place like this only leads to your own death. That’s what your mother had indoctrinated you to believe at a younger age and as you got older you saw her words to be true. Strength is not something positive in this place, it is not praised or rewarded it is only controlled. And you will not be controlled.

Bodhi’s grip is strong but that’s just what you need as you twist your body around bringing your other leg up so quickly he can’t react. He can only take the blow you give him as you kick him in the face hard. It causes you both to fall to the floor but you had been expecting this so are not immobilised by the shock which you use to your advantage as you dive on top of his body quickly pining him down.

“Stop this!” The same voice from before shouts.

“No can do Mairi, she’s got him now” Kat replies.

You pin Bodhi’s arms about his head with one had using all the strength you have whilst you pluck the dagger out of his own hands using your other. Holding the dagger to his throat you glare down at him fiercely.

“TAP OUT” you don’t ask you demand.

Bodhi only huffs causing you to become more angry than before “I said tap out Durran” you command. To which he smirks.

“You’re feistier than you look Y/LN” he tries to bait you “no wonder Liam is obsessed with you” he smirks.

You don’t give in to his taunts and instead your hold on him becomes stronger and the grip of your thoughts around his waist becoming tighter. This pose must look overly sexual you briefly think. This thought is only reinforced as you notice Liam from the corner of your eye storming over to Dain begging him to “get her off him now before I do something I’ll regret”

You note this burst of apparent and unplaced jealousy from him and continue to stare down at Bodhi who still hasn’t tapped out . A sinister smile graces your face as you lean down close to his face. At this he starts to look extremely worried, perhaps that you will kiss him given the lack of space between your faces, a worry that is echoed by Liam as he now bellows your name in a warning “Y/N don’t you dare!”

But at the last minute you swerve your head and place your lips close to Bohdi’s ear. Everyone is now watching, including Xaden whose shadows you can already feel are dying to escape and probably strangle you to death.

“I have a message for your wingleader” you whisper lowly so only Bodhi will hear “tell him that I am not and will not be that easy to kill.”

You pull your face up offering the boy beneath you a fake sweet smile. He looks hauntingly shocked as you use your hand which is gripping his to bang them to the floor twice, tapping him out yourself. “He’s done” you say emotionlessly as you finally get off him, his dagger still in your hand. You waste no time to part through the shocked, still crowd but not before you take one long look at Liam who is seething with anger. He looks somewhere in between disgusted and impressed. You don’t smile or let any emotion slip past the mask you have now decided you need to wear around him. All eyes follow you and you head towards where Xaden is stood but before you reach him you turn around “oh Bodhi” you shout over “you can keep your daggers I only want this one” you say as you hold up the last one you took. The blue stoned beauty. You reach Xaden who peers down at you. Gods he’s tall you think.

“I left you a message. Be sure to listen to it” is all you say as you barge past him and out of the hall ignoring the chatter that has erupted with your departure. Usually people stay a little while after a match to record points and see the leader boards but you couldn’t bear to stand there today- not in the same room as him. You’d had enough for today and if you did say so yourself your point had been proved nine times over . You would be a force to be reckoned with.

Footsteps suddenly sound from behind you in a fast pace causing you to pivot only to see Liam running towards you.

“What. The. Fuck. Y/N” he says.

“What?” You ask in an annoyed tone wanting nothing more than to be away from him.

“What the fuck was that? You might of well have just had sex with him right there the way you were climbing his body” Liam spits.

This takes you back. Out of everything you just did to his friend back there, the positions you put him in wasn’t what you thought Liam would be the most pissed about. Humiliating his friend by removing every single weapon he had on him? Sure. Punching him so hard you heard his nose break? That would be understandable. Spitting the blood that had flooded your mouth after he slapped you so hard you felt your tooth unhinge itself in his face? For sure that was pretty gross and disgusting on your part. But straddling Bohdi and climbing his body like a tree was not what you thought you’d be discussing with Liam in these halls.

“Are you jealous?” You ask after a long moment of silence “because if you are you have no right to be. We sure as hell aren’t together after what happened last night. After you stabbed me in the back and sold my secrets to your bum buddy Riorson” you say to which Liam sighs angrily at as he tightens his hands into fists.

“Bum buddy?” He mumbles “you’re a child” he shakes his head but not in a playful way like he normally would have done with you. No he is pissed. “I have every right to be jealous. You mounted his body in front of everyone in those tight leathers, which by the way haven’t gone unnoticed! And then you pin his arms above his head? What the fuck is actually wrong with you?” Liam is panting now clearly getting more angry the more he relives what just happened between you and one of his closest friends.

“Me!” You shout “what is wrong with ME! How on earth you are twisting a situation which has only been caused by your betrayal is beyond me! Gods Liam you are so self centred. Do you really fucking think that I have any interest in Bohdi when I can’t even stand the fucking sight of you?” You yell at him and his face flinches with pain.

“Well maybe you could if you would just let me-“

“Explain?” You click your tongue and shake your head “there’s nothing to explain Liam . You are what you did- a lying, treacherous asshole and I will never see you as anything more than a backstabbing prick. I never want to see you again, I don’t ever want to hear your voice again, I never want to see your smile or hear you laugh! Don’t you understand Liam? You’ve broken me and I’m sorry if you don’t like the outcome of that but that’s too damn bad. ” you say before quickly pivoting away not allowing him to utter another word.

You hurry to your room locking yourself in taking a deep breath as you try to process everything that just happened. There is no point trying to understand Liam, you think, this is a wild game of survival. And hopefully you have just proven that you will not be the prey.

[amore-reads16]

Liam Mairi x fem reader

Overview- Liam and Y/N have been spending a lot of time together over the past few months and feelings between the pair have developed deeply however there is a betrayal under the surface that is uncovered leaving only heart break behind.

Note- okay so this is and idea that came to me and is meant to be like the turning point of an enemies to lovers story where the protagonist has been betrayed and finds out so mainly the feelings of hurt and betrayal. So yeah have fun with that one if you can! Also listening to I love you I’m sorry by Gracie Abrams might set the tone…

Liam had been missing from dinner which was strange as he always made time to sit next to you even if it was to talk about trivial things. Even though you had only begun properly getting to know each other five months ago there had not been one day where you had not seen to him, spoken to him, laughed with him and for the last few months exchanged and sneaked kisses in the hallway away from prying eyes. So for Liam to be missing from your side tonight was beyond weird. In fact he always was by your side you suddenly thought. Strange how one person can go from not knowing another to being completely and utterly consumed by them. It was a feeling you had tried not to become dependant on but the strange feeling in your stomach told you that you had failed miserably at that task.

After finishing dinner and having seen everyone else, including your friends and brother leave, you knew something wasn’t right. Something was out of place. It wasn’t just Liam missing from dinner you had observed. His friends had also been absent including Xeden Riorson, which yes was nothing new, but tonight was different- they were all gone. Finally picking yourself up from the bench you had been sitting at hopefully and wistfully waiting for the blond haired, bright eyed boy to stroll by in the cocky, childish way he usually did, you quietly exit to dining room.

Wrapped up in your thoughts you suddenly realise that your body has taken you to the outskirts of the building to a small garden that Liam often took you to- a place he called his ‘secret little spot, away from nosey people’. However it must not be that secret you think as you catch a glimpse of five hooded figures, some in incredibly tall and one shorter signalling a mix of men and women within the group. Using the stealth you have fostered from years of sneaking around your family home as a child, you creep around the corner within earshot of the group hiding in the dark shadows the crevice provided, curiosity taking over your mind. The voices are muffled of course, but there is one distinctive boyish voice that stands out. A voice that often soothed you and whispered sweet nothings in your ear now sounded serious, concerned and ultimately regretful.

“She’s different to what you think Xaden” so Xaden is one of the hooded figures, you think, makes sense.

“Liam, I couldn’t care less if she is an angel sent from the heavens herself- she’s dangerous. To us. To everything we’ve been working for.” Xaden replies. Who is she?

“So what? We just kill her? She’s innocent Xaden” Liam responds angrily. That tone is a tone you have only heard a couple of times. Never directed at you of course unless you do something stupid that puts you in harms way. Istead that tone is used towards people that disrespect you, sexualise you, try to hurt you.

Xaden tuts and lets out a short breath “don’t tell me Mairi that you’ve actually fallen for this girl.” Suddenly the identity of this girl is becoming clearer unless Liam has been cheating on you, which would be extremely out of character, this mystery girl the cloaked figures have gathered to discuss is indeed you.

Liam pauses for a long moment before answering and you swear you can hear your heart beat in your chest so loudly it will give your identity away. “No. Of course not” he eventually replies.

Heart ache consumes your body. Although you have never told Liam you love him and he has never uttered those three words to you, you have felt it. You have felt how much you love him and in return how much he loves you. And that had been enough for you. But now hearing him deny the affection you was sure he felt, your heart felt like it had been crushed under your own dragon’s foot.

“Her signet is just as dangerous as Aetos’. She is a valuable weapon for them, one they will never let go. Liam you know who her parents are. Her dad cut half of us down during the rebellion and her mother was the greatest healer of all time and it seems she is set to follow in her foot steps. Are you sure her signet is healing?” Xaden asks

“Yes. I have seen it. It is impressive but not at its full potential yet. She told me that she has been advised that is will manifest even deeper and only grow stronger. With the right training she will be able to heal a body that is on the brink of death” Liam says in a quieter voice then he used before- he almost sounds defeated you think as you refuse the sudden urge to scoop him into your arms and comfort him. Comfort the man who has just betrayed you and your secret. The man who has just signed your death sentence.

“She can’t ever expand her powers. It is too dangerous to have her running around healing everyone we try and take down. We will never win when the number of us decreases and theirs stay the same” another voice speaks and you immediately recognise it as Imogen’s. She has always hated you. You have always been able to sense it, see it in her eyes. Not that you blame her. Your dad killed a significant number of their people before he was killed himself, and your mother did nothing to help. She could have healed them all but yet she didn’t and kept on healing the men and women on the other ‘right side’ of the rebellion as your father used to quote to you.

“Liam you need to gather more information from her before we take her down. We need to know more about Aetos. They are still training together?” Garrick asks. So this is where they all were you think, instead of eating pie they were plotting your downfall. Liam was plotting your downfall. Betrayal curses down your spine. The heart break that had initially struck you has now been transformed into anger. Pure loathing anger. You gave your heart to that boy, you have everything up for that boy, and he used you. For information, for knowledge, for the secret you were swore to protect but gave away so easily to a pretty smile and twinkling eyes. Pathetic. You have been pathetic. But no longer you think.

“Yes they train every-“ he begins but you have had enough. Even if it gets you killed you cannot bear to sit here in the shadows, like a coward, another moment longer. Standing up Xaden immediately notices the movement.

“Shit. Shut up” he commands

“No need” you reply “I’ve heard everything” you emerge from the shadows that just before kept you hidden in your heart break. The anger you feel in this moment is a feeling you think you will never forget. To have loved someone and then been stabbed in the back by the same hands that held you at night. To have trusted in someone so profoundly only for your trust to have been built on lies and deceit. To have sacrificed your families beliefs, honour and status only to have them proven right and you painted as the naive love struck girl. It was sickening. It was transforming. Love turned into a bitter gall of hatred.

Storming up to the group, dagger in your hand, the faces of the cloaked figures run towards you but you can only focus on Liam’s surprised, hurt eyes. His mouth is agape and he somehow despite his betrayal looks guilt stricken. “Y/N please, I can explain” he pleads with his hands but you are not giving in.

“Keep your nerves quick one!” Rhella, your dragon encourages, as you focus on your movements ducking out of the way as Bodhi tries to restrain you followed by Imogen who you elbow swiftly in the windpipe chocking her causing her to fall to the floor gasping for breath. But that doesn’t matter as you have swiftly reached Liam and without hesitation you raise your dagger to his throat. Your breath is heavy. Your eyes are wild with anger. Your breath is ragged.

“Please let me explain Y/N” Liam says again

“NO!” You yell back and press the dagger harder drawing the slightest bit of blood. Perhaps you might have drawn more if it hadn’t been for Xaden’s shadows flinging the dagger from your fingers and Garrick restraining you whilst the others watch in shock.

Squirming in Garrick’s arms you try and wriggle free but it is no use, he has both your arms locked, and you suddenly begin debating if these will be your last moments on earth.

“Jesus Christ you came out of no where” Bodhi mutters helping a still winded Imogen up who has already set a deadly glare on you. Not that you care. She is the least of your concerns at the moment.

“Fuck” Xaden mutters as he places a hand on his head and begins to pace as if thinking very deeply.

“Let me go you fucker” you yell at Garrick.

“Shut your mouth” Xaden storms over to you grabbing your chin in his strong hand causing your mouth to shut immediately as he commanded.

“Xaden” Liam interrupts in a harsh tone almost as if he is warning him.

“Liam I think it’s best you leave” Xaden says in a low deadly voice making you shudder.

“No” Liam bluntly says causing Xaden to turn around still holding your chin strongly. “I mean- no I’m not leaving you to kill her in the middle of the bloody school. Do you know what kind of message that will send? They will know it was one of us or at least blame us for ease. We are done if you kill her now and you know it.” He says convincingly but the way Liam just coldly bargained for your survival without any compassion for you or your life causes a tear to roll down your face. He want a you alive to save their own treacherous necks. Not because he loves you and can’t bear to be in the world without you. Fucker.

“Well what do I do with her now then Liam ? She knows too much” Xaden says

Liam sighs and groans “just- just all of you go and leave her with me I can talk to her, make sure she keeps this a secret.”

Imogen lets out a shrill strangled laugh “and HOW are you going to do that Mairi? She won’t trust a word you fucking say now”

You let out a grunt in agreement to that statement causing all eyes to fall back on you. Usually Liam’s eyes are the only ones you meet however the darkness in Xaden’s are hard to look away from in this moment. He wants you dead, that much is clear, and you aren’t sure he is going to let you leave this garden without claiming your life.

“I’m going to talk to her Imogen. We clearly can’t kill her now” we is the word that stabs you “so we will have to keep her alive and on our side” Liam angrily explains finally walking forward to where you stand putting his body only a few inches from yours where Xaden still stands manhandling you. “Let her go” he tells Xaden. Xaden looks reluctant but lets go. The relief to have his strong hands off you is unmatched, and you are sure your jaw will be deeply bruised from the strength of his grip.

“Leave everyone” Xaden commands and although the rest seem reluctant to go they do. Clearly Xaden is their leader. Now only Liam, Xaden and Garrick, who is still restraining you, remains.

“Listen and listen closely” Xaden whispers “you will not utter a word of this to anyone. You will not let anyone know we are aware of your signet and you will not tell anyone what you saw or heard tonight” he explains blandly as if it was that simple.

“And if I do not comply” you practically spit at him.

“I will personally kill your brother. Jude is it? He seems sweet, naive much like you, but kind and caring. I will crush him with my shadows and rip his soul out of him” Xaden says- no hint of any emotion on his face making his words more haunting. “Do you understand me?”

Water swells in your eyes as you quickly spare a glance at Liam who looks mortified. How dare he? This is your life, your brother’s life that is at risk not his.

“Yes” you whisper.

“Yes what?” Xaden demands.

“Yes Riorson I understand and I will not utter a word to this to anyone” you reply.

“Brilliant-“

“On one condition” you add.

Xaden laughs but it is not humoured. It is bitter and hateful. “You aren’t exactly in the position to be making demands Y/LN” he grabs your chin again causing Liam to finally interfere somehow pushing his hand away.

“Enough Xaden” he says in a tone so demanding and sure it frightens you. “What is it you ask Y/N” Liam asks you.

You look into his eyes hoping to see some glimmer of what you used to see- love, admiration, respect. But there is only desperation. Desperation for you to not anger Xaden further.

“You must promise that you will not harm my brother nor me. You will let us both live despite whatever vendetta you unjustifiably have against me as an individual. I am not my family. I am my own person with the right to prove all of you fuckers wrong. Let me live and leave my brother be” you ask Xaden avoiding Liam’s penetrating gaze at all costs. To look into his eyes now would be to cry and look weak in front of the shadow lord in front of you- being weak will get you killed. So you keep your gaze strong, focused and unfaltering.

“Deal” Xaden agrees “but if you break this deal your brother will die and you will watch. Once you have processed your grief I will kill you also” he says plainly before signalling to Garrick to let you go which he does immediately.

“You have ten minutes then you both need to leave before we all get caught” Xaden says to Liam as him and Garrick turn around walking back inside not sparing you another glance, like you have now become worthless to them.

It is now just you and Liam. You and the backstabber. The silence is deafening and makes you want to cry. Liam sighs and attempts to reach for you but you step back wrapping your arms around your body as if to shelter yourself from anymore hurt he could inflict.

“Y/N” he says softly.

“Please Liam spare me your lies” you say, your voice raw and full of emotion.

“You don’t understand. I had to. Xaden needed the information and at first you didn’t mean anything to me but as time went on I started to like you and then I started to catch feelin-“

“Stop” you cut him off meeting his desperate gaze “don’t you dare. Don’t you fucking dare stand there and tell me that you felt anything for me whilst betraying me and lining me up like a pig to slaughter”

“I don’t want you dead!” He shouts “I never did! I- I- I love you for gods sake! I love you and don’t want you dead” he yells loudly.

You still. He has never said that to you. “It is amazing the lengths you will go to keep my mouth shut” you reply coldly “if you ever loved me you would have never have done this to me. Love shouldn’t include betrayal and you have betrayed me in the worst way possible.”

“You think I wanted this? Wanted to lie to you? To seduce you? To make you trust me? To fall hopelessly in love with you? I didn’t! But it happened and it’s real! I would have NEVER of let them kill you. You must know this” Liam sobs, he actually fucking sobs.

“I know nothing.” You say numbly “Infact that is a lie I do know this, I know that I now regret every moment spent with you, every word I spoke to you, every kiss I gave you, every night I let you have my body. I know that I hate you Liam and will never forgive you for this. I know that if you so much as look in my direction again I will not hesitate to kill you, consequences be damned. I know that I loved you and now I detest your existence” you deliver the lines with such confidence that you almost believe them yourself. Tears that you once shed have already dried on your face and your body feels heavy ready to collapse at any moment but you know you must stay strong.

“You don’t mean that” lean chocks out. Trying to come closer to you but you just step further away

“Get out of there quick one before you take back every word you have just said” Rhella warns and you heed.

“But I do” a hateful smile falls on your face “you fuck yourself Mairi” you say as you turn around ignoring Liam calling your name over and over. The last sound you hear his him sobbing and a thud that sounds a lot like a body collapsing to the floor as you speed walk to your room.

Making sure no one is lurking in the halls ready to rip you to shreds means it takes longer to get to your room but eventually you get there collapsing on the floor immediately as you shut the door. Your room still smells of him making it harder to breathe. Funny, you think, not only 24 hours ago the man you loved led in the bed in front of you and now that bed is empty alongside your heart. Only one thought manages to keep you going as you prepare for bed.

‘I will kill Liam Mairi if it is the last thing I fucking do’