ampersandr

[ampersandr]

I hope I haven't posted these >o<

[ampersandr]

Sometimes I think "damn I've been listening to these bands for 10+ years"

[ampersandr]

the beauty of crying together to Pierce the Veil and Paramore

[ampersandr]

if i lived on my own, i am not confident that i would be able to stay clean. just sitting alone in a cafe & in my own thoughts in a public space is making me daydream of breaking my streak and we shouldnt have that.

[ampersandr]

i have two bachelors degrees and i still have to apply for a barista job at starbucks because no one is hiring and i need to pay for my master's program because i need a job... send help im getting too desperate...

[ampersandr]

My favourite kinds of museums:

"SCIENCE/HISTORY/ART IS AWESOME, KIDS!"

"Ummm.... so we spent the last two centuries stealing a bunch of shit. Here are some of the least offensive artifacts."

"We now have a bigger museum of whatever than our neighbouring city/municipality/country! Haha!"

"This is where this famous weirdo lived."

"Soooo.... there was this unfamous weirdo who was REALLY into collecting/building weird shit, so I guess we have a museum now."

"When we tore down the old to give way to the new we missed a spot, so I guess we have a museum now."

"Second biggest ball of twine of the municipality"

"Boy did grandpa's work lack OSHA regulations."

"THESE TRAINS HAVE RUN FOR A HUNDRED YEARS AND WILL RUN FOR A HUNDRED MORE!"

[ampersandr]

i thought tonight would be the night that i could be normal again...but i fear i am too far gone...my nocturnal tendencies, caffeine reliance, and evening class schedule have fully rendered me a creature of the night.

i need to invest in some melatonin.

[ampersandr]

Artist: @gentleeeeeeecat (X)

[ampersandr]

was locking in at a cafe doing a homework assignment 2 hours before my archives class and i heard hayley's scream through my noise-cancelling headphones like

thanks babe—i'm going as fast as i can

honestly worked better than the americano

[ampersandr]

i actually want to sleep my life away please and thank you

"Transition helped my dysphoria"

"Transition did not help my dysphoria"

Can we talk about the secret third thing, where transition made my gender dysphoria go away but revealed the yawning abyss of a much worse and uncomfortable truth which is that the gender I want to be doesn't actually exist and I don't like being human

[ampersandr]

hmmm okay i forgot that gender dysphoria exists so that explains why im reverting to my teenaged personality at the ripe age of 22

[ampersandr]

did someone already do this

[ampersandr]

bro im watching myself evolve from an emo trinity girly to a sleeping with sirens/pierce the veil super stan 😰

[ampersandr]

here i am again, my shout into the void—

has i ever had peace and quiet? have i been better?

or am i just silencing the noise, numbing my thumbs, busying my lungs with other useless and painful things,

things that are not much better but at least aren't "that."

nine years but i don't think i have ever be clean.

i try, and i have been for years but

i may never be.