androidboy - Tumblr blog

[androidboy]

ok i legitimately think my cry-athon day was so emotionally raw that i sent distress signals through the wavelengths. just got a text from the sixth person in this past week that said they were thinking of me and these are people i don’t hear from often and in some cases we’re talking months to a year

[androidboy]

[androidboy]

Customer: YOU FOOL DMV: CONFRONTATIONAL Verdict: DENIED

[androidboy]

i’ve been crying laughing at this all morning it’s so real

[androidboy]

my boss and i were both running late for work so i told him it was a race and i ended up beating him by an entire two minutes. when he walked in i pointed and said “you LOST. now you gotta do a loser’s jig” and he dld. he did the saddest most defeated little jig complete with a cartoon boohoo cry and everything

[androidboy]

can’t even be mad at the guy who almost hit me while i was crossing the street today because i made eye contact with him as he drove by and he looked extremely horrified and mouthed “i am so sorry”

[androidboy]

dude who gave me his entire punk jacket last year gave me a pin off his new one a couple days ago except he superglues his pins on so he had straight up cut it off like it’s got a piece of his jacket still attached to it

[androidboy]

been wanting to get back into working out but still dealing with eating troubles so i’m like. do i genuinely want to or is my brain being sneaky. i’d have to constantly be on the lookout like

[androidboy]

girl stopped me to compliment my crop top and then the guy she was with started hitting on me and called me beautiful and then when i left i said “well it was nice meeting y’all guys” so now i want self destruct

[androidboy]

which man do you claim

most notable times of being hit on by customers:

guy who tried to impress me with card tricks and failed every single one of them

old man who attempted to get my number when his wife walked away and slipped me his email address ending with “@ aol.com” when i said i don’t do that

cute gay couple that came back to tell me i was cute and then called the shop to ask me out

older professor who i talked to about folklore and told me he dressed as a wizard for recitals saying “this is really embarrassing but umm.. i’d love to get to know you more..” and gave me a receipt with his email address on it

dude in his 40s asking me on a movie date and me saying yes but then he kept starting text conversations with “ahoi hoi”

military guy who said it’d be hot if i killed him with a baseball bat

most notable time a customer did not ask me out:

a man who i knew had a wife and children getting really flustered and saying “um. ive been, uh.. idk if you remember me but um. i come in here a lot and ive uhhh haha umm ive been wanting to ask you for a couple weeks now.. um. have you read the green lantern issue i recommended??????”

[androidboy]

We need more guys in crop tops

[androidboy]

endless cycle of wearing this shirt and forgetting its glow in the dark

[androidboy]

6pm only thing ive managed to do today is eat a meal but that was pretty big so im tryin to feel proud about it 😞

been nonverbal which i hope goes away before the end of the day. morticia’s bein the bestest girl and is taking her support duties very seriously

staying in bed til 3 kind of day

[androidboy]

this is what tumblr is to me

[androidboy]

[androidboy]

is it even ethical to flavor blast a goldfish

[androidboy]

Conspiracy theories are things the cia or cw just straight up admitted to doing