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[andtheclockstruckthirteen]

*hands you an AU dump to hoard like a little goblin handing a small coin to a dragon*

OKAY so basically: after the doctor's visit where Izuku learns he's quirkless (I hc that they went when he was about five n' a half), Inko does a little bit of research on quirks and more specifically on her son's notebooks, learns that he's even more brilliant at quirk analysis than she originally suspected, and (after looking at some not great quirkless statistics) she instead informs Izuku that no, he's had a quirk all along! It's an analysis quirk!

So she updates the quirk registry, and Izuku goes through his life believing he has an analysis quirk, albeit teased for being a late bloomer, but he still can't shake the insecurity being quirkless for that one and a half year gave him.

He does research on all sorts of things, hacking, knife throwing, first aid, and building his own support gear and takes to all of it like a duck to water. He also does research on UA's policy for support gear in the entrance exam (cause surely they've gotta have a policy for non-offensive quirks like Koda and Hagakure) and finds that he can take one with him if he builds it himself. He goes fuckin bonkers.

Anyways: he trains with Katsuki, cause they're relationship is pretty good since Izuku has a 'quirk.' They both demolish the entrance exam. (Also Izuku kinda swears a lot because Katsuki rubs off on him)

Aizawa doesn't notice a goddamn thing is amiss until the battle trials on the second day (he decides to shadow All Might that day), where when he was using his quirk to silence his students while Izuku was rambling, he just didn't stop, as if he didn't notice anything was wrong. It happens again during the USJ.

So at some point during the sports festival, Nedzu (who is now intrigued because of Aizawa's complaining) invites Izuku into his office during a free period and lets him go ham on analysis, all while Aizawa is secretly there erasing Izuku's 'quirk.' Nedzu invites Izuku to be his personal student (making Aizawa go grey), he says yes, and then Nedzu drops the absolute BOMBSHELL that Izuku is actually quirkless. Cue an existential crisis.

(Also Izuku gets captured at the training camp alongside Katsuki because of his "analysis quirk," wonder how well that goes for him~)

- Goblin anon (sorry this one was kinda long)

GOBLIN?? DUDE???? HOLY SHIT I KNEW YOUR AUS ARE ALWAYS PHENOMENAL BUT THIS RIGHT HERE??? D U D E

i misunderstood the prompt a bit but i genuinely don’t know how to backtrack, so here you go goblin. sorry again o(TヘTo)

ok first of, inko taking on a stronger stance to support her son? love that of her. like, she doesn’t say sorry when izuku turned to look at her and cried that he can’t be like all might. instead, she took him in her arms and assures him that he will be a great hero. at first, of course half of it is lip service because she doesn’t know how to help her quirkless boy be a hero, since, you know, heroes need quirks.. (or do they)

and then she comes across a quirkless self help group which rang many many warning bells in her head. what kind of life do quirkless people live when a google research of them resulted in subsequent pages of results like how to stay safe when quirkless, or how to find jobs when quirkless, or quirkless mortality rates?

she fears for izuku, until she notices that her son’s smart. too smart for his age, but inko thought she’s just being biased. but izuku’s wit is something many people notice, for an instance, when izuku goes to the park to play and his friends’ (the few ones who stayed) parents tell her that her son’s smart for a quirkless person, she realizes that izuku’s wit is far more vast than normal.

then a thought worms into her head but wouldn’t it be bad to lie…but also, no one would be any the wiser.

further pushed by all the statistics she keeps seeing, or the lack thereof, about quirkless people, she makes the decision and pours it to izuku.

izuku who’s far smarter than his age and understood what his mom is asking from him. izuku who already saw the disparities between quirked and quirkless people at the tender age of five. izuku who knows what it means to lie about something as personal as a quirk, but realizes that it’s necessary for him to do so if he wants to live a “normal” life.

so he agrees; he tells inko that he’ll work even harder to sharpen his mind, and to keep expanding his knowledge.

when izuku’s quirk file is officially updated, he watches how his peers and teachers revert back into treating him as izuku. he regains his old friends, but he chose to drop them because he doesn’t want to surround himself with people who thought he was less for being quirkless.

katsuki stayed, surprisingly. katsuki stayed and everyday he kept bothering izuku to “get your quirk already!” katsuki stayed because he can’t fathom that the smartest boy in their class (of course not as smart as him, psshh) is quirkless. deku couldn’t be quirkless. (but if he found out that izuku, indeed, is, i wonder what would happen…)

katsuki was one of the loudest to celebrate when izuku announced that his quirk arrived.

“finally!” he screams and bothers izuku about the semantics of his quirk. he really wasn’t surprised to find out that izuku has an analysis quirk because he thought that nothing else would better be suited for izuku.

he doesn’t know that izuku pours so much of his time into learning and studying, often bypassing basics and intros to take more of the developed courses that are usually recommended for older ages. he doesn’t know that izuku is just a naturally smart kid with the ability to fill the gaps of his young mind with knowledge upon knowledge, storing and stacking them until he feels that he’s laid a sturdy foundation for his fake quirk.

then izuku began threading into different areas. he learns how to get into cyberspaces; hacking into accounts and delving more into how to access private information. he doesn’t thread too close lest he gets caught, but he learns the logistics of maneuvering around the web and burrowing in empty spaces to branch out his own. he creates and designs web algorithms for himself, just so he doesn’t trigger anyone who is looking into the web movements. he hones this and uses it to access more information.

then when he deems it enough, he turns his attention to something more tangible and something more physical. he learns other ways to be a hero; how to fight without a physical quirk, how to win against bigger opponents, how to use analysis quirk in fights.

izuku becomes more than a fake analysis quirk user; he creates it.

mental quirks are hard to describe, more so to compress, thus he creates new definitions of an analysis quirk. what used to be a silly lie is now a tangible fact that izuku believes in. because what makes a quirk? because what makes analysis a quirk? he learns these semantics (often political) and uses it to his advantage.

then he finally threads to hero analysis. at first it were classmates he analyzed; eyes running quickly at their forms and watching with great interest before calculating everything he’s seen and transversing it with the things he learned, and bridges these two facts together to create an analysis. it was a struggle at first: he didn’t know which to put emphasis on until he realizes, he doesn’t need to. he weaves them together and lets his analysis run long and watches how his hobby comes into fruition.

following his classmates are current heroes. these were more tough and more fun, and any of the information is less shared. he doesn’t tell his classmates or teachers about his analyses, only katsuki. and katsuki’s breath hitch every damn time at izuku’s talent quirk.

it is in their second year of middle school that midoriya begins to incorporate the facts with himself to create physical performances. the issues and things he learned through observing are now practiced by himself. he calculates the best way to fight with a body as petite as his, often taking examples from pro-hero hawks and other women heroes. their agilities and physicality suit izuku’s young body; he doesn’t see the merit in punching his way through things when he physically cannot.

so he learns ways to ease his muscles. he learns ballet and gymnastics; lets his muscles contort and mend themselves anew. he finds his balance and roots himself firmly, and learns to calculate his actions so he doesn’t waste his energy. katsuki doesn’t say anything, but he sees izuku’s dance and falls in love.

then in the spring of their third year of middle school, izuku learns how to build and handle weapons.

this is the easiest. izuku learns that weapons aren’t tools, but extensions of his arms and hands. they are not to be revered and not to be depended on because they can fail. instead, he learns to wield weapons as though they are parts of his bodies. he learns how to use swords and often narrowing to wooden sticks that can be picked up anywhere; he learns how to fire guns and how to hide daggers in his uniform. he learns that his body is the best weapon to use and that tools are just arsenal to help him win.

then he learns how to build them.

by summer, izuku begins reaching into UA’s servers. they are hard codes to crack, but not impossible. it takes him five days to access old entrance exam videos. the next day, the videos are snuffed and he is left to try digging deeper into UA.

he fails.

nezu must have caught onto his codes and proceeded to build walls against it.

so he slithers out. but a five minute video of last year’s entrance exam is enough for izuku because he learns two things: one, heroes must defeat villains and two, heroes must save others.

izuku prepares for this. unknowingly, katsuki is taught these same principles. katsuki would grumble and tell him that he knows what heroes must do, but izuku continues to hammer it down to him.

by the time of the UA entrance exam, izuku falls into the ease of having a fake quirk. he passes the written exam with flying colours and although it took three teachers to approve his support gears (present mic had to pull in powerloader, midnight, and hound dog to ensure that the well designed support gears are made by the hero student examinee and not by a support student examinee. majima saw the works and begged nezu to allow izuku to be his student.), izuku still succeeds and dominates the entrance exam.

when the zero pointer was released, he had flung himself towards the girl crushed by debris and yanks her out. he doesn’t waste a modified grenade to explode the zero pointer because through his calculations, doing so would not only create more collateral damage, but would also endanger the examinee in his arms because she still would be caught in the crossfire.

nezu hums in appreciation from the screening room, after all, smart minds always do think alike.

izuku gets a whopping 92 in the physical aspects of the entrance exam.

katsuki gets 85.

aizawa gleefully takes them in.

izuku thinks that no one will ever know of his and inko’s secret, but one look at nezu’s beady eyes and he knew that the stoat knew. it became a game to them, then. a game to see who else would realize.

and while izuku is smart, he doesn’t realize that nezu has basically taken him as his personal student the moment he and izuku had created a bet.

it takes two months for aizawa to figure things out. surprisingly, he is the only one to do so and he only realizes due to the many untimely attacks of LoV.

——

how angst would it be if katsuki realizes that izuku’s always been quirkless during their captivity in the LoV’s hideout.

[andtheclockstruckthirteen]

another ai doodle for a warmup that looked to good to not just make into a full drawing.

I used to do a lot of really, reallly old stuff with making scars and eyes and whatever gold so I thought it'd be fun to try that again.

[andtheclockstruckthirteen]

New blog!

Hey guys! Quick question!

If I made a new side blog about NBC old show Grimm… would anyone follow it?

The blog would mostly be headcannons and incorrect quotes because I can’t find anyone of those for Grimm. So if i made this blog……would anyone follow it?

P.s. if this post gets at least 100-200 notes I will actually make the blog.

Bye for now!

[andtheclockstruckthirteen]

Art by  Trevoshere

Posted with Permission (reprint/edit and/or commercial use prohibited)

Part 2

[andtheclockstruckthirteen]

Villain!Aizawa au

First and foremost, he’s absolutely done with the hero society bs

He’s still the protective dad but dilled up to a 1000%

Ends justify the means

Cold, analytical, detached (like not stoic but straight up doesn't emote)

->Not when it comes to children, absolutely has a parental instinct that goes haywire when it comes to kids and his students, after his shitty ass childhood he overcompensates by helping every kid he sees even mildly distressed (But he would be caught dead before addmiting it)

He comes from a wealthy family, quirkist family that was disgusted with his out-of-the-left-field quirk, that has sent him to foster care(which is apparently super shitty in Japan) 

He wanted to become a hero out of spite bc people called him a villain when he was a kid (worked out really well for you buddy)

->Shirakumo’s death was the last nail in the coffin of his hero career (it shattered his worldview so much that he didn’t even want to think ab it)

He graduated from UA at the top of his class and with a shiny new hero license that he promptly ignored. Using his knowledge from basically living on the streets he decided to disappear from the radar and go into villainy bc–

He knew he couldn’t bring any change to the hero society as an Underground hero(didn’t even think about teaching, in the canon, it’s Nemuri who dragged him in so here he doesn’t consider it either)

He’s well aware of and hates the rampant inequality and senseless death (of young heros) caused by the greed of  the industry that’s why:

He wants to change the way it works, even if he’ll have to get his hands dirty

By the time of the 1A hell class year he successfully took over a big part of the criminal underworld and made it quite orderly and logical (don’t ask me how yet but he built his imperium on loyalty and respect, ppl r just scared shitless of him (the mystery he created around himself) and everyone who joined his cause knows the golden rule “treat people like you want to be treated”. Aizawa awards loyalty and punishes disloyalty(anyone who goes against his rule of conduct)). 

Seeing as this wasn’t enough decided to go a step further and start infiltrating the government and the hero commission itself

He started teaching at UA to get the favour of Nedzu, one of the most influential people in the whole of Japan 

In this au Aizawa disappeared off the face of the earth after graduation, at which his friendship with Yamada and Kayama was already strained after Shirakumo’s death. When he suddenly joined the teaching staff after 7 years they didn’t recognize him, he was like a different person who once again wasn’t looking for any meaningful connections and this time succeeded at keeping everyone at arm's length.

Aizawa is slightly more put together in this, he learned to weaponize his looks, and he knows how he wants people to perceive him and dresses accordingly. So he doesn’t exactly look like a “homeless hobo in a trashbag” when in his “hero” gear (it’s just a tactical suit, he refused to put any kind of effort into the hero bullshit) but looks competent and threatening.

He nearly always wears his mask (spare capture weapon that acts as protection), the only time you see him without it is when he’s undercover or going to get groceries(he wears sunglasses then, listen at least one of his facial features has to be hidden at any time).

He basically never sleeps, by day a teacher and by night a criminal overlord-*cough*-underground hero.

He is technically the UA traitor, though not the one they are looking for :)

Now onto the fun part;

Students are SUPER curious about him, though he scares most of them

Rarely he gets phone calls during class, he always steps out to answer them(in code ofc, and he answers cause everyone knows to not bother him unless it’s important)

1A was extremely disappointed when the dorms were established and he continued wearing his mask 24/7 (listen the dorms are too fun and have too much potential for me to let them go)

Shinsou and Midoriya have seen his face

Shinsou saw it a few years back when Aizawa scared off his bullies

Midoriya saw it at the USJ when Aizawa used his primary capture weapon to deflect Shigaraki's attack (which fucked up his elbow in canon) and had to use his spare one as the primary one got disintegrated 

USJ happens, but it goes differently, it happens a week into the classes(the sports festival happens a round a month after the school year starts). Aizawa is a bit blindsided by it, he knew that some new group of villains was congregating but he honestly didn’t expect them to do anything for a few more weeks. 

he was absolutely pissed when he learned that it was about All Might

He doesn’t get smushed into a pie because a)he didn’t get injured by Shiggy so he was able to jump away from the nomu b)his own reinforcements arrive to act as a diversion exactly at that second.

He is so pissed after the whole ordeal, all his focus goes into obliterating the villains who were stupid enough to attack his students

[andtheclockstruckthirteen]

Tomura tries to copy Eraserhead’s style and inadvertently ends up looking like Nana

Art by Trevoshere

Posted with Permission (reprint/edit and/or commercial use prohibited)

Part 1      Part 2

[andtheclockstruckthirteen]

Art by Trevoshere

Posted with Permission (reprint/edit and/or commercial use prohibited)

Part 1

[andtheclockstruckthirteen]

Art by  Trevoshere (A – B)

Posted with Permission (reprint/edit and/or commercial use prohibited)

Part 2     Part 3

[andtheclockstruckthirteen]

Things we don't talk about enough #5

Sort of not really idk but it fits under the tag so

Sweet Home, right? Specifically the webtoon but the drama is also acceptable spoilers below

Hot take: Hyuk deserved a fucking breakdown. Hello?? HELLO??? Maybe it's just because I miss him and I want more angst but

UM THIS MAN'S MONSTER TURNING REVEAL WAS JUST HIM ASKING WOOK NOT TO SNITCH HIM OUT TO HIS SISTER

Which was a great reveal, I am DEFINITELY not complaining. That scene lives in my head rent free 25/8

What I'm saying is, Hyuk, no matter how much of an asshole, was still the leader. He was basically holding everything on his shoulders, he was overseeing EVERYTHING. Can you imagine the pressure? You've gotta make smart choices at the expense of select people for the good of the group. And he doesn't seem to mind being viewed as an asshole, but at some point the guilt had probably started to weigh on him. Having all these grown ass adults needing taken care of like children and then getting pissy when they don't have their way, meanwhile you're trying to ration food, figure out where everyone is going to get water, make sure Hyun didn't turn,,,

He's got a lot on his plate! And then when the monsterization process began MMMMMMMMPH the angst potential!! Who's going to take care of his sister? Would she really be okay without him? Not to mention WHO TF WANTS TO BECOME A MONSTER LIKE THAT'S SO SCARY! He had to hide his symptoms for who knows how long and struggle with all of that, while at the same time managing his little apocalypse group

This man probably has some major imposter syndrome too. Having to uphold this smart, strong, put together leader when this man is just a kid pretty much, same age of Hyun. And being the smart leader obviously doesn't earn you many friends, meaning he was dealing with this all on his own. And you're gonna sit here and tell me all of that wouldn't break a man?

Not buying it.

Maybe I'll have to write a fic.

[andtheclockstruckthirteen]

Thanks to John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum, we finally know more about John Wick’s origin, and even what his real name is. The action-heavy franchise that revived Keanu Reeves’ career in many ways is back in theaters with another installment, and while the action is top notch as usual, the third entry in the John Wick franchise also spends plenty of time exploring the larger assassin world.

This is especially true when it comes to John Wick, who has previously been a very mysterious hitman as far as audiences can tell, but a legend in this universe to many. The first film only explained that John used to be a prolific assassin working for The Continental who jumps back into this lifestyle after his dog is killed. John Wick teased more of a history for The Boogeyman through his back tattoo which reads “Fortis Fortuna Adiuvat” in Latin. This phrase, translated to say “Fortune Favors the Bold,” is a motto of the Marine Corps. and many assumed that John was a military man before his days as an assassin. However, he leaves the assassin lifestyle behind by completing an impossible task for Viggo Tarasov, allowing him to become happily married for a few years.

When John Wick: Chapter 2 hit theaters in 2017, some more clues of John’s past came in regards to that task. We learned that John actually received some level of help in this situation from Santino D'Antonio, which gave him a marker that he could use at his will to make John return the favor. The blood oath was reluctantly fulfilled by John and eventually results in him murdering Santino on Continental grounds, making John excommunicado and the biggest target in New York. That is where John Wick: Chapter 3 picks up, and after some heart-racing action, it dives deep into John’s past and reveals some surprising things along the way.

John Wick’s Real Name Is […]

After John is able to fend off a few dozen assassins, he sets his plan to leave New York and escape with the hope of meeting the one man who is above The High Table so that he can be pardoned and continue to live. This plan takes John to a new location filled with new characters for the franchise, but all of this is familiar for John. It is during these scenes that a major revelation comes to audiences, as John proclaims that his real name is Jardani Jovonovich.

He says this in an effort to prove that he is worthy of being helped by the mysterious new group. Jardani means John in Romani, and since John reverts to calling himself this during the exchange, it appears that Jardani Jovonovich is his actual birth name. This would then indicate that he was Jardani as a child, but then changed his name to John Wick to embrace his assassin lifestyle. But, it also means that his new name isn’t just random, but rather derived from his original one, where his last name of Wick is pulled from the end of Jovonovich.

The Director

John only goes back to his old name though because he is speaking to The Director, director of a new character for the series played by Anjelica Huston and head of the Ruska Roma where John grew up. She is another high ranking figure within this assassin underworld someone who works with the High Table, but is still below their laws and rules. Because of this, The Director shouldn’t even be speaking to John based on his excommunicado status, but there is an implied long history between them that makes her go against her better judgement and help John.

This decision comes back to hurt her, as an Adjudicator from the High Table pays her a visit with a band of assassins. The Director is ordered to stick her hands out together and the Adjudicator orders a sword to go through them both, leaving her with a permanent reminder of the cost of helping John and betraying the High Table.

The School

The Director appears to be a vital part of the High Table’s operation too, as she is in charge of a school that develops and trains young assassins. The front for the Ruska Roma’s operation is a ballet studio and performance center, but the students are being taught much more than just how to dance. The boy students are shown training in combat, while the girls are shown perfecting their dance routines. However, the first scene at the school features one female dancer with bruises on her body (likely from the combat training), while a later scene includes male dancers too, so all of the attendees are receiving the same level of training.

This school is more important to the John Wick universe beyond its role in the overall system though, as it also appears to be where John Wick received his training. All of the students have the same cross tattoo on their backs as John is shown to have on multiple occasions, and this further explains why he knows of the location and has a connection to The Director. This wasn’t just a place for John to go to get away, but may very well be how he got his started on this path to begin with.

The Key/Ticket Cross

With this history to The Director and her school of assassins, that further explains the cross necklace that John uses as the explanation for why he deserves their help, It is the latest important artifact to come from the John Wick universe. As an orphan and last member of his tribe, John carries an Orthodox crucifix and rosary, representing a debt owed to him by The Director.

The cross is John’s ticket to escape New York and secure safe passage from The Director’s forces all the way to Casablanca. This ticket only has a one time use though, as the acceptance of the cross by The Director then sees the ticket punched (in a sense) by the cross being put in fire and then branded upside down in the center of the cross tattoo on John’s back, signifying that it has been used. The commonality of the cross tattoos with assassins at the school may further indicate that this is all part of this particular school’s training and graduation.

—

These new details on John Wick’s backstory ultimately leave fans with much more knowledge about Baba Yaga and his journey to become the man he is today. When it is all pieced together, John appears to have been trained as an assassin from a young age, possibly became a Marine (if the back tattoo is more than just symbolic), returned to the assassin world, left it to get married, and is now once again entrenched in this lifestyle. This all comes from three films worth of exploring the character, and with the ending teasing more adventures could come, new films could reveal even more about John Wick’s past.

[andtheclockstruckthirteen]

What a lot of you don’t understand is that when you think about it, the John Wick movies really are the closest thing to perfection we have in the movie industry nowadays. Yes, I’m aware of how absolutely insane I sound right now,  just bear with me. By ‘perfection’ I didn’t mean good, just in the sense that. They are the only action franchise I know that openly panders to their audience, and somehow also managed to include literally everyone in that audience. 

Let’s take a crack at this together if you don’t believe me. 

We’ll start with the basics. What country are you from? Trick question, it doesn’t matter because *slaps the roof of New York* This City can fit so many countries into it and oh yes, they Are going to speak your language. This is a threat. Next, what kind of music are you into? Pop? Rock? Jazz? Classical? KYARY PAMYU PAMYU? Don’t worry, they’ve got you. Let’s move on to something a little more personal– Are you gay? Straight? Yes, these movies qualify as queer cinema because every single fight scene in them IS bi on bi violence, but you also wouldn’t know this if you’re cishet, so their homophobic dudebro fanbase is still steadily expanding despite the movies steadily getting gayer and gayer. By the way, have you heard about their canon nonbinary character? Well, you see, the thing is, they’ve announced that this character IS nonbinary, you just didn’t notice this because the need for them to explicitly state their gender never arises in the movie. Well, fingers crossed for more Trans Rights in John Wick: Chapter 4 and 5! 

Ok, enough about you. Let’s move on to your taste in men. What’s your type? Do you like older men? Younger men? Keanu Reeves is here, and he somehow managed to look both 31 and 65 at the same time. He has the Range. Do you like men with short hair? Long hair? John Wick has shoulder-length hair but he’s never put it into a bun in canon, so he passes as both I guess. Do you want a male wife? He’s a househusband for 5 years in canon. If you like nice guys, he’s good with animals and very polite to everyone around him; but if you’re into bad boys, he’s also killed over 300 people and they don’t get any worse than that. If you like married men, this is probably the most married man I’d ever seen in an action movie; but if you’re not into that, it’s fine, because his wife’s also Very Dead. If you like men with short names, “John Wick” is only two syllables; if you like men with longer names, his real name is actually Jardani Jovonovich. If your type is Keanu Reeves, he’s there, but if you just hate Keanu Reeves, well this is THEE franchise for you because they’re going to beat the shit out of him and throw him off the edge of a thirteen-story building. Oh, sorry, do you like women? They’ve got so many great non-sexualized female characters, you’re gonna fall head over heels in love with all of them faster than I can say John Wick; but if you just hate women, well, some of them are also dead. (But like, killed off in a dignified and respectable way that made sure to not piss off anyone.) 

Now let’s talk about the animals. Are you a dog person? Welcome, this franchise is secretly just three dog movies in a blood-stained trench coat. If you like small dogs, there’s one, but if you like BIG dogs, you get 3 of them. If you like smart dogs these Belgian Malinois are trained to climb walls and castrate people on command. If you like dumb dogs this pitbull does nothing for two movies but sit around on sofas, look pretty, and eat butter off of Keanu Reeves’ face. If you’re a cat person check out this absolute unit living their best life at a sushi bar owned by a gay ninja; if you’re a bird person, well I hope you like pigeons because *slaps the roof of New York* this city can fit so many pigeons into it. If you’re a horse girl so is John Wick, apparently, and to make this movie even more relatable for you, he brought a Horse. To a car chase. In the middle of BROOKLYN. If you’re a snake person, Ian Mcshane is also there, and he speaks. 

What else? Oh, let’s get into the fandoms, why not. DC fans, your John Constantine is wearing a white shirt with a tie and talking to Lucifer. Marvel fans, your Green Goblin dies again. SPN fandom, happy to inform you that Sam’s blonde girlfriend (the one who somehow got fridged by. A ceiling fire??) is here too and she’s MY girlfriend now. She wears a leather jacket, calls John Wick a pussy while beating the absolute shit out of him, and she is an asshole to everybody. If nothing else I said could convince you, do it for HER. Hannibal fandom, we’ve been through this many times, but John Wick: Chapter 2 (2017) IS a hannigram mafia au, and coincidentally, Laurence Fishburne is also There, and he flirts with Keanu Reeves while wearing a silk bathrobe. Game of Thrones fandom, don’t you just hate that blonde little fruit Theon Greyjoy? Don’t you just wish someone would punch him in his stupid face? Well I’ve got GREAT news for you folks. Brooklyn-99 fandom, your Vulture is here and he’s got a husband. Ok alright no he didn’t yes he did. no he didn’t ;)) (He did though) And of course, of course, how could I forget my main audience, The Old Guard(2020, dir. Gina Prince-Blythewood) Fandom? Right this way followers, here’s an unedited screenshot of the canon dialogue from John Wick(2014)

NOW that we’ve gotten all that out of the way, let’s move on to your taste in movies because oh, *slaps chad stahelski in the face* this movie can fit So much Movie into it. Tell me, do you like good movies? These movies CAN, indeed, be very good. Do you like BAD movies? Well congratulations! This critically acclaimed arthouse action franchise WILL put you through some of the worst moments in the history of cinema, and you WILL unironically enjoy every single second of it, perhaps even more than the good parts. Do you like movies with good acting? Well one of the greatest accomplishments of the John Wick franchise is that they went out of their way to round up all the best actors in the movie industry, just to get them to say the absolute dumbest shit on camera. For you. Do you like movies with BAD acting? Well Keanu Reeves is There and he somehow managed to be at the peak AND the rock bottom of his career at the same time, he HAS the Range.  What about…..The story? Do you like a good plot? A BAD plot? Spoiler Alert: everyone wins, because there is NO plot. 

I could go on and on but the point is, you could NOT lose with these movies even if you tried. It’s just fun for everyone, every time, and if you hate fun you can come sit next to me in the theater, and I promise I’ll do my best to take all the fun out of your viewing experience. Oh and one last thing, before I log off: I get that some of y’all have problems with graphic and gratuitous violence, and that’s valid, but hey, listen. What if it was, like, really funny 

[andtheclockstruckthirteen]

i am literally obsessed with the idea of john doing ballet when he was training with the roma ruska 

“fond memories?”

[andtheclockstruckthirteen]

(prolly one of the ballerinas at the Tarkovsky at some point): "The other ballerinas and I had this handler named Jardani when we were kids. And I was in love with him. I was in love with Jardani. He would spar with us on Saturday nights. And in my head I remember thinking Jardani was like twenty-five, thirty years old. I was talking to Madam Direktor the other week; I found out that when I was ten years old, Jardani was thirteen. So why was he in charge? Thirteen when I'm ten? That's just like hiring a slightly bigger child!"

[andtheclockstruckthirteen]

prolly john at some point when he was living in the Tarkovsky and teaching a roomful of six year-olds self-defense after an hour at the barre

[andtheclockstruckthirteen]

what if, hypothetically, daisy didn’t die in john wick 🤔

Wohohoho >:-)))) many thoughts on this one

Whether John leaves the house a couple minutes later or just stops at a different gas station, he never crosses paths with Iosef, the home invasion never happens, and Daisy never dies

As a result, John gets the chance to heal and work through his grief at his own pace. It’s hard, of course it is, but it’s a little easier with that last piece of Helen with him, her last gift

Daisy helps him see the beauty and hope in the world every day, grounds him and licks his face and squirms against his arm when she wants pets, and it helps

He keeps bookbinding, and eventually opens a small book store in New York. Helen always talked about doing that, about making a space to share their passions with the world

John hangs up her photos on the walls, the ones she liked too much to sell, and stocks the place with his favorite classics and series, old and new, and the place quickly becomes popular among locals

They love the coziness of the place, and the little dog that roams between the shelves and sleeps in the sun and greets customers

The guy behind the counter is nice too. He’s quiet, kind, precise, and not afraid to stand up to assholes harassing people in or near the shop

John becomes friends with the store’s regulars and soon gains a reputation in the area as the local shop grandpa everyone loves

He has a kind nature and gives good advice, and emanates an air of relaxed comfort

The younger customers that come through like to talk to him about newer stuff, recent shows or charting musicians or current events they’re fascinated with, and though John doesn’t always follow or understand, he enjoys the company

He even takes a few of the kids on as interns/employees, teaching them how to help around the shop and even how to bind books themselves

It takes a lot of hard work, but they get so into it, and seeing that passion in younger people never ceases to make John happy

He tells lots of stories about his late wife Helen, about the time she set their kitchen stove on fire, or taught him how to use her camera, or when she proposed to him, and his words carry a deep love in them, a reverence and awe. He always gets such a soft and far off look on his face when he talks, but it’s never sad, not anymore

John never takes off his ring, it gleams on his finger and when he’s putting books back up, and sometimes, when he thinks no one sees, he’ll press a kiss to it

The store never gets big, never grows past community fame, but it doesn’t matter. It was never meant to. John doesn’t run the shop for the money, he has enough left over from his assassin days for that, he does it for the people

He does it for the people that come in to read in the early mornings and leave without a word, and for the kids and moms that stop by to chat and tell him about their days, and for Mary and Lorenzo and Jack and their passion for thread, paste, and paper

One day some of the regular teens suggest he expands the store into a cafe, and John doesn’t think much on it past, “Sure.”

He renovates a section in the back of the shop into a kitchen, and gets to work

In many ways, baking is a delicate art, but it’s not too hard, at least not anymore so than the delicate art of book binding and the delicate art of healing

He starts early every morning, gets flour under his fingernails and in his beard, and by the time the early morning customers stop in the place smells like bread and sugar, and the cookies he hands out are still warm

He never makes people pay for the baked goods, and any money he gets for them come from those that insist to pay

If people ask for something and he doesn’t have it, he learns how to make it

Donuts are one such thing that end up becoming a staple, meant as a treat for the kids, mainly, but they seem to be a favorite among most people

John starts hiring more staff to help out, people that deserve second chances or can’t find employment elsewhere, and it tightens the community feeling in and out of the shop

Word of the store eventually gets back into John’s old circle, and when Winston and Charon first step through the door John freezes behind the register

They don’t approach him though, Winston smiles and goes to browse, and they leave after a few minutes with a baggie of scones and nothing more

They visit a few more times, before they settle into being regulars

John starts sitting with them when they visit, and they never talk about the old life, just mundane things, easy things. Old friends have to catch up after all

A few more familiar faces wander in over the years, and John eventually suspects his shop has unofficially been deemed a safe space among assassins

As long as no one makes trouble he doesn’t mind, but he makes sure each of his employees have someone with them when they go home for the night just in case

John gets another dog after a few years, when he finds a stray pitbull rooting around the trash out back

It seems to be a runaway, a tag for a local shelter still hanging off its collar, but it gets along well enough with Daisy when John brings it home for the night that he can’t bring himself to take it back the next day

Rugby makes a good addition to his family, and to the shop, even if it means John has to deal with a little extra slobber

The weight of Helen’s absence never fully fades, and neither do the scars from years working in blood, but as time passes, between wide smiles and warm kitchens and wagging tails, the sharpness softens and eases, and John Wick is happy again

Thanks to @boydress and @faeblesmith for having convos w me that created a lot of these ideas!!

Headcanons masterpost

[andtheclockstruckthirteen]

Ozai is so pathetic, like that “take his bending away haha he’s harmless now” trick would never have worked on Zuko, if you took his bending away he’d just grab his swords and come at you twice as hard, Azula doesn’t have swords or anything but she’s pretty good at hand to hand and amazing at talking her way out of problems, Iroh bust himself out of prison with no bending at all, meanwhile Ozai? Gets his bending taken away and then just collapses, doesn’t even try anymore, then just sits in prison and tries to get into Zuko’s head some more, he could have trained up and tried to break out too! But no! Bet he can’t break steel bars with his bare hands. Bet he can’t kick a steel lever in two. Bet he can’t even do a flip.

Also we never really see him do any really impressive firebending apart from when he has magic comet power, I guesss he shoots some lightning at Zuko, but that’s it and Azula is still better at the lightning thing. Azula has blue flames. Zuko can do firebreakdancing and bend with his swords. Does Ozai, who is not 14 years old, have blue flames? No he doesn’t.

He didn’t even do his coup himself, Ursa had to kill Azulon for him! Could have just challenged Iroh to an Agni Kai for the throne but he didn’t bc he knew he’d lose.

And then he only ruled for like 6 years! He lost a war that had been going on for 100 years bc of a bunch of kids.

Loserlord indeed

[andtheclockstruckthirteen]

...

There’s probably a of lot of extroverts that think they’re introverted because they have social anxiety.