anexperimentallife - Tumblr blog

[anexperimentallife]

It’s a cold and it’s a broken jalapeño

[anexperimentallife]

(wake me up) wake me up inside (before you go-go)

[anexperimentallife]

Woaaah, we’re halfway there,

WOOAA-OOOOAAAAH

[anexperimentallife]

[anexperimentallife]

I think the worst part of being allergic to apples is knowing that if I ever become a supervillain, I won't have anything to eat while I'm monologuing

[anexperimentallife]

so judging by how astonished people are by it every time we explain it to anybody, it seems like my wife and I might really be onto something here

during the pandemic, we invented something we call "astronaut time."

when it's astronaut time, it's like we are two astronauts wearing the big helmets, moving around the station on totally separate tasks. one of us is outside the space station and one of us is inside the space station. our radios do not work and we have no way of communicating with each other. we might see each other through the lil porthole windows, but we ignore each other because we both have different things to do.

"astronaut time" is how we get total privacy when we live in the same apartment. I will pretend you don't exist. You will pretend I don't exist. we have a nonverbal, zero-contact signal for when astronaut time is over (usually "I'll draw a smiley-face on the whiteboard in the kitchen when I'm done"). No talking, stay out of each other's line of sight, we are actively avoiding each other, unless you are currently experiencing a medical emergency goodbye.

it has been. a godsend. imagine living with your partner and being able to close every single tab in your brain related to social interaction. no fear of being interrupted by a "hey, quick question--" or "sorry to bother you, but do you know where the scissors are?" or "did you want something to eat, too?" Once or twice a month, we look at each other lovingly, hold hands, and say "baby I think I need some astronaut time tonight," and the other person goes "okay cool. bye! have a nice night!" and nobody's feelings are hurt and we both go and have a lovely evening completely by ourselves.

like idk it's a small thing but it's made our lives so much nicer, so if you and your partner/roommate are both people who sometimes need total privacy in order to recharge, maybe try it

[anexperimentallife]

JUST SAW A FED-EX DRIVER JUMP OUR OF HIS TRUCK AT A REDLIGHT AND RUN UP TO A SECOND FED-EX TRUCK (THREE CARS AHEAD) AND THE GUY LEANED OUT AND THEY JUST KISSED ON THE LIPS? HELLO?

[anexperimentallife]

dentists will splash some water in your mouth and youll think "oh a nice drink of water i was parched" just for them to suck it back out with their wretched little tube. disingenuous behavior

[anexperimentallife]

A lot of pop psychology gets thrown around and since I already have a headache, here's preventing you lot from making it worse.

Love-bombing: A manipulation tactic of increasing affection and grand gestures before or after doing something abusive, specifically to weasel one's way out of consequences.

What it is not: A streak of affection and generosity towards friends/loved ones.

Trauma-bonding: Knowingly traumatizing someone to take advantage of their vulnerable state, to then act like the "hero" or the one who cheers them up.

What it is not: Bonding over similar traumas.

Gaslighting: *Knowingly* convincing someone they cannot trust their own perception of a situation in pursuit of one's own narrative.

What it is not: Misaligned perception of events.

Narcissist: Someone afflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, a traumagenic cluster B disorder, that struggles with self-obsession, paranoia, craving validity from the public, delusions of grandeur, and social disconnection.

It is not: Your rubbish ex that cheated on you.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

-Xanthe

[anexperimentallife]

now i’m not saying it’s going to be funny when a cybertruck massacres everyone inside of it because the autopilot hit a concrete barrier going 40 mph, but when the car made out of thick sheet metal with no crumple zones transfers the entire force and energy of the impact into the now liquidated bodies of its driver like a mortal kombat x-ray move, i might laugh

[anexperimentallife]

.❤️

[anexperimentallife]

"This fic was ai generated—" Cool, so lemme block you real quick

[anexperimentallife]

just fucking with some dinosaurs. some raw forces of nature

[anexperimentallife]

I need people to understand that sometimes autism is just this

[anexperimentallife]

Fuck, I jinxed it 😭

Breathing much better today!

Also, hot calamansi juice with honey is the best.

[anexperimentallife]