anotherrandoperson

[anotherrandoperson]

mania is terrifying but I think I prefer it over this numb feeling. cause at least I'm able to feel things. I hate this spot cause it's not depression, it's not a just I'm chilling, it's not the mania, it's not disassociation cause I'm fully here for the most part I just can't focus and am overly tired. all the other states can be annoying yeah but at least it's not just being numb and icky. like this is just eugh I hate it so much.

[anotherrandoperson]

I hate the urge to self harm so much. I just want to feel something right now though. I'm just stuck in a wierd in-between state and I hate it. I hate it so much. cause we aren't even actually in a upset state or angry or anything. everything's mostly just numb. like I know this years already been kinda rough, I mean even just the start of this month. and like I didn't allow myself to breakdown fully when things first happened cause I needed to be there for my mom because my dad was gone and stuff. and then my dad gets back and I feel like okay I can just let go now but now I'm just numb and unable to let myself feel all that hurt and upset and everything I was just barely holding back for 2 or 3 weeks. but now that I can let go I just I can't, I'm stuck in this in-between I don't feel really anything. I mean j get pissed off our excited about some things but any feelings good or bad just don't seem to last very long. and I'm just back into the numb. only thing I've been able to feel really is just icky. I can feel my pain from my chronic shit, I can feel the nausea and vertigo thats not leaving no matter what. I can feel the migraines constantly trying to form. but I don't really have emotions and when I do they don't seem to last long. and I know relapsing wouldn't change that really. but I just want to feel something. actually the thing I feel the most RN is the wierd ache on my tongue from burning it this morning and some achey joints. otherwise even tho I'm scared and annoyed and upset I still just feel numb and like I'm feeling nothing. but I want to be able to feel how I feel. I want to be able to express how I feel. od prefer if I was going through the breakdown sobbing over this. cause I just feel so numb. and I can't process anything. I can't sleep, Im basically just rotting on the couch everyday barely eating or drinking. even when I want to do something or want to eat I just I can't do anything. I don't have the energy so instead I sit all day with random background noise on the TV and doing random shit on our phone. and like I'm pissed off I can sorta feel it but it's just so dull. everything's just so fucking dull. I don't actually want to relapse of think it will help but at the same time I'm just thinking what if it fixes this. even tho I know it won't. but the only thing I can feel consistently and clearly is physical pain. and all the icky sensory stuff of being so sweaty for no reason and my legs touching each other. I hate my legs touching each other cause like the shave I did was so bad so it's not complelty smoothe or rough and my calves feel clammy. like genuinely all I feel clearly is the pain and horrible sensory stuff. and the sensory stuff is just overstimulating and makes it harder for us.

[anotherrandoperson]

I'm choosing to believe this is real because it's funny and hurts no one

[anotherrandoperson]

"what's wrong with you" i was designed in a lab to sicken and torment you specifically

[anotherrandoperson]

should be getting my haircut tommarow so that's good. and means I won't feel as bad about dying my hair before the 4th cause my hair will be cut.

[anotherrandoperson]

"wait, but what do I say to describe people who cannot get pregnant?" a guide.

Men cannot get pregnant: INCORRECT. Transgender men are men and many are capable of getting pregnant. Also, excludes the plenty of people who are not men who cannot get pregnant.

Cis men cannot get pregnant: INCORRECT. Intersex men who are technically cis, but have uteruses and ovaries, may be capable of pregnancy, even if it's unlikely. Also, excludes the plenty of people who are not men who cannot get pregnant.

Cis perisex men cannot get pregnant: Correct, but excludes the plenty of people who are not men who cannot get pregnant.

People without uteruses cannot get pregnant: Correct, but excludes infertile and menopausal people with uteruses who also cannot get pregnant.

People who cannot get pregnant: CORRECT. Excludes no one.

To use inclusionary language, you don't need to rip through the reeds in search of wider terminology when you could quite literally say things exactly as they are. Inclusive language isn't "overcomplicated" at all. It's straightforward.

[anotherrandoperson]

as a cis guy, when presented with the "99% you get a ton of money, 1% you turn into a girl" it honestly would be dumb to not hit that button until it breaks. like ok now i have 100 bajillion dollars and gender dysphoria. big deal. i have all the money in the world to turn me back into a guy. like with that kind of money i could have obama do me a phalloplasty. he wouldnt be able to do it as he isnt a surgeon but the point still stands

[anotherrandoperson]

men love being tied to chairs and gagged it makes them feel masculine it's the same as working in an office

[anotherrandoperson]

ILY darkshippers ILY comshippers ILY people whose ships are so unpopular you get harassed for it I love all of you none of you have ever deserved the harassment and the cruelty ever not today not yesterday not tomorrow not ever. You’ve never deserved it

[anotherrandoperson]

just saw a birth announcement thing that was like "3 inches went in. 19 inches came out" and i am on the floor in tears i'm laughing so hard what is wrong with heterosexual people

[anotherrandoperson]

Requested by the-last-clydlex-shipper

[anotherrandoperson]

I hate this. Ivs been constantly soaked in sweat this week. my houses AC is fine and everything and like I'm even chilly. but I'm just like drenched in sweat no matter what. and I'm in so much pain, got sunburn in a spot that makes it hard to get comfy, and I still can't sleeep.

I dunno why but since my dad's gotten home from his work trip I've been so messed up. just like I can't fall asleep at night no matter how tired I feel I just can't get comfy and fall asleep. and then waking up kinda horrible too. my sleep was fine I was consistent and kinda on a squedyle until my dad got back and that first day I just didn't wake up until like noon and since then I can't sleep at night and even if I wake up earlier. and like I thought it might have been my stimulant at first cause I was taking it later in the day but not taking it just made things worse. and I'm so tired all the time like it's not like I'm not tired at night no I just can't sleep. I have melatonin I haven't tried taking it yet cause it can fuck me up even more.

[anotherrandoperson]

[anotherrandoperson]

[anotherrandoperson]

at a conference I attended recently, a researcher pointed to the difficulty of finding material in archives because so much depends on the metadata and the terminology used to describe things changes over time. "it would be so helpful," the researcher said, "if I typed 'lesbian' into the library of congress database, it would also show me results that were categorised in the 50s, when the materials were interpreted as 'intimate female friendships'"

which is what tag wrangles at Archive Of Our Own do incredibly effectively: searching for "omegaverse" also leads to "alpha/beta/omega dynamics" and "alternate universe: a/b/o" and so on. but ao3 achieves this frankly incredible categorisation and indexing system by the power of countless volunteers putting in hours and hours of unpaid and unthanked free time, and it's completely understandable that most archives do not have that kind of infrastructure, but also how incredible that a fan-run website has better searchability, classification, and accessibility than the library of congress

[anotherrandoperson]

When I am appointed to represent a child, my first action is to separate them from their parents and tell them the following things:

1. I am their attorney. I do not work for their parent or the judge or the cops. I don’t care what any of those people want.

2. My job is to listen to them and try and make what they want happen in court. (At this point I make a joke about how most people want me to get them out of trouble but if someone wanted to be in trouble I would do my best.)

3. What they tell me is confidential. It goes nowhere unless they agree to it. (If old enough, I talk to them about mandatory reporters, and how I’m a mandatory non reporter.)

4. I will give them lots of advice because I’ve been doing court for a while and I know a lot about it, and they don’t. It’s all really complicated, and if they don’t understand what’s happening it’s my job to help them figure it out.

5. They will make the decisions. (At this point I usually have to reassure them that I’ll help, I’ll speak for them in front of the judge, and I’ve got their back. It’s scary to have an adult say you’re in charge, most of the time.)

6. I tell them I know it’s absolutely wild to have some stranger come in here and say “hey, you can trust me!” and that I get if they don’t believe everything right away, because I plan to show them through my actions and my words that I’ll fight for them.

7. But nonetheless, I will treat them like a person who can make decisions, because they are living their life and I am not.

I do not:

Pretend to be cool.

Try to be their BFF.

Overwhelm them with detail.

Let their parents in the room until the kid asks for them. (I provide openings for this, and ask if the kid wants their parent to help them remember and understand.)

I want to emphasize I went into this job knowing nothing about how to interact with vulnerable populations, especially children. The training was minimal, and my role means that I can literally walk into a facility and get an unmonitored visit with a minor client one on one.

In my years of practice I have never felt threatened by a child, even one that was “violent” and “unstable.” It turns out just saying “hi, I think you’re a person with thoughts” is wildly successful? Now people treat me like I have special Child Whisperer powers. My powers are that I ask the child what’s up and I’m not scared to say things that are objectively awkward. I know nothing about anything.

[anotherrandoperson]

I continue to run into people that are confused as to why Americans have screens on our windows and it’s really quite simple.

Bugs

Diseases carried by bugs

Other assorted wildlife such as dogs and teenagers