antiela

[antiela]

“Back in the eighties dungeons were becoming a thing in New York. Guys would pay a lot of money to come there and have some dominatrix tell them what to do. I was making leather pencil skirts for a lot of the doms, with holes in the back so that guys could kiss their ass. One day I was fitting a dom named Asia, and I told her: ‘I bet I could make more money than you without wearing stuff like this.’ She bet me I couldn’t. It was all a big goof. But then I started really thinking about it. Asia was making $150 a session, and that was real money. So I did the same thing I always do when I get an idea. I just ran an ad in the back of the Village Voice. Most of these girls were advertising how young they were. So I used the word ‘mature.’ And I figured out how to write ‘Jewish Guys Welcome’ in Yiddish, and I put that at the bottom. It was some of the easiest money I ever made. I never let them touch me. All I had to do was be a bossy black woman. And I could do that easy because my mother had been such a bitch. I’d pretend to be a school teacher, or a nanny. It was the dumbest shit. I just kept inventing crazy scenarios. And the crazier the scenario, the more money I made. One time I heard about a dom on the Upper East Side who charged $3,000 a week to kidnap a guy and lock him in her basement. I didn’t have a basement, but I knew a limo driver named Dean who liked to hustle like me. So every time I got a call from a new client, I’d say: ‘You want to be kidnapped, don’t you?’ And he’d start stuttering like: ‘Duh, duh, duh, duh.’ And I’d say: ‘Listen to me closely. Stand on the corner of 5th and 18th tomorrow at 3 pm. Don’t be late.’ Then I’d call Dean and tell him the plan. It was always easy to spot the guy. He’d be the one checking his watch and looking scared as shit. So we’d roll up in the limo, grab him by the collar, and pull him inside. Then I’d lock the doors and start telling him what to do. Everything went down in the back of the limo. Dean just rolled up the partition and kept his eyes on the road. At the end I’d give him $100, because I was getting $250 for that.”

-Happy 81st birthday to Stephanie 'Tanqueray' Johnson. If you see her wheeling around Chelsea today wish her a happy birthday, and there is a nonzero chance she will give you a glow-in-the-dark dildo eraser. -Humans of New York

[antiela]

This is gonna come out wrong, but I actually really am drawn more to books that don’t have an encyclopedia of characters and family bloodlines going back fifty generations, and don’t flesh out every single aspect of the world-building down to the price of grain, and don’t require you to keep the wiki open so you can keep track of all the side stories, and don’t require extensive knowledge of “how this shit works in real life” so you can call out every instance where it was “unrealistic” and the author didn’t “do enough research” to make it believable

Sometimes you can just sit back and chill and read about a guy going on an adventure and falling in love, and that’s okay

[antiela]

Discworld! AAAAAAAA <3

[antiela]

pie pngs ♡

[antiela]

I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"

[antiela]

My ancestors, watching me dump an entire stick of cinnamon, two cloves, an allspice berry, and a generous grating of nutmeg into my tea, sweetened with white sugar and loaded with cream, while I sit in my clean warm house surrounded by books, 25+ outfits for different occasions, and 6 pairs of shoes, in a building heated so well I have the windows open in mid-autumn:

Our daughter prospers. We are proud of her. She has never labored in a field but knows riches we could not have imagined.

[antiela]

Albino CAPY!!!

[antiela]

happy make a terrible comic day 2025 . I am 80% mucus today

[antiela]

Stolen from reddit where it wasn't being properly appreciated

[antiela]

[antiela]

Genuine friendly summer reminder for my fellow fat people.

We have more body than skinny people so we also contain more water and therefore need to drink more. 2 Litres is something skinny people need to drink we need more. I aim for 4 litres a day.

While any waterbased liquid is good try to not drink all 4 litres in coke or soda. I absolutley do recommend sport drinks or similar things. Fat people like us, or at least me, sweat a lot in this heat even without sport. Refill those electrolytes. Your body will thank you.

My go to drink at home is a 2 litre jug of water with just enough store bought raspberry or orange syrup that it has a taste thats not water.

Please stay hydrated in this heat and take care of your body. Its the only one you have.

(If you clown on fat people in tags/replies/comments I will hunt you for sport)

[antiela]

merlin has more strength than me bc if I heard uther pendragon bitch and moan about how magic only brings harm after I just saved his sons life for the ten billionth time that year with my magic and almost died yet again, I fear id accidentally turn him into a log

[antiela]

feeling nostalgic

- memories

[antiela]

Karlach was the only one to make it back to camp

[antiela]

Today's Seal Is: He Loves Hose More Than God

[antiela]

Superman desperately scanning the street during a fight to find the most morally acceptable car to throw at his opponent, knowing that not everybody has insurance, and loss of transportation can ruin a life -

A wave of incredible relief washes over him as he spots the hard geometric lines and silver paintless sheen of a Cybertruck.

[antiela]

my creative writing prof also HATES fantasy. as in if she asks for an example of symbolism in a book, and you give something from a fantasy novel, she’ll ask for an example from a “non-commercial book” instead.

I dunno man, people can have preferences, but the second you discount the artistic merit of sci fi and fantasy I stop taking your opinion seriously. and there’s such a big culture in Canada of only valuing literary fiction, to the point where one of our biggest authors, Margaret Atwood, refused for a while to classify her books as sci fi or fantasy. she said they were “speculative fiction”, which is entirely separate and very highbrow (sarcasm).

and I could go on about how Octavia Butler and Ursula Le Guin wrote books every bit as intellectual (and honestly, even more so) than their literary counterparts, but I am also an enjoyer of schlock!! I think there’s artistic merit in animorphs, and in isekais where a japanese schoolgirl reincarnates into a magical spider who has to level up like it’s a video game! it’s like with everything, you can’t draw a clean line that separates ‘art’ from ‘non-art’ or even ‘lesser art’, and pretending you can do so just makes you look ignorant and goofy. in my opinion.