antigonewinchester

[antigonewinchester]

The Fish Monk

[antigonewinchester]

Quick (unfinished) drawing of dandelions

[antigonewinchester]

✦ "I believe it's what you would call a...Tragedy from the human perspective." ✦

[antigonewinchester]

Literally cannot emphasize enough that my #1 writing advice is to stop being afraid. Stop being afraid of sounding too cringe, or too stupid, or too horrifying, or too horny, or too weird, or too much, or too little, or too you. You need to put your entire pussy into your art. Sure, it won't be to everyone's tastes, but if you keep yourself to the blandest tamest safest roads possible you will be of no one's tastes, not even yours.

[antigonewinchester]

[antigonewinchester]

Wiesław Szamborski — Meat (acrylic on canvas, 1980)

[antigonewinchester]

I don't relate to this post because I don't find myself nodding along. '[Blorbo] is a bad person' is such a surface-level take that I don't see how it needs to be said. It's like 'Let's not forget the curtains are blue' when I'm twenty pages into an essay on the implications of the curtains being blue. Sure, I guess they are also blue, but anyone who needs to say it is completely divorced from the conversation I'm starting, tbh.

And more than intellectual honesty, the constant reminder that they're a bad person (not to mention that 'bad person' is a very vague category and often downright unhelpful for analysis—not all fiction is moral in a way we can translate to real life) feels rather like a disclaimer, the old-fashioned 'I don't condone their actions'. Imo, someone who is interested in having a serious conversation on this would phrase it as '[Blorbo]'s actions are ultimately contradicted by the thesis the show is proposing'. As long as you're not forgetting their actual actions, you're not obligated to constrast them against your moral framework. You don't have to acknowledge your blorbo is 'evil'.

[antigonewinchester]

re: my last reblog, the thing is that a lot of the emotional advice w/in later season SPN sounds sort of good in theory and definitely like a lot of modern therapeutic and/or spiritual advice about 'accepting life' and 'letting go' blah blah blah... but then you encounter a story where a character faces up to something really really painful and the story doesn't shy away from that pain, and it feels so much more real.

I've watched/rewatched End of Evangelion several times over the last few years and every time, the ending has felt different. my most recent rewatch, I found a strange bittersweet optimism to it. not exactly for the characters themselves but for what the ending represented to me: live, even if it's painful. Shinji faces both Askua's justified resentment & his own fucked up-ness and it's brutal but also honest. it doesn't shy away from all the ugliness. the film ends on Askua's infamous line ("Disgusting.") and in doing so also leaves the audience with that last horrible taste of it. sometimes waking up from your dreams is incredibly painful; sometimes acceptance means looking at huge mistakes & past regrets & it's downright excruciating. maybe it is the end of (your) world, but a world still exists, and you still exist, so keep on living, young man.

once you've sat thru an ending like that, the calls to 'accept' life's pain and just not be bothered by it ring very hollow.

[antigonewinchester]

a better life is a myth. real is better than fake. now is better than then. accept your life. accept your life. accept your life. your problem is your anger. your anger is THE problem. it is your responsibility to stop being angry. that will allow you to accept your life. that's your problem. you're angry and can't accept it. that's on you.

play your role.

[antigonewinchester]

There is a standard media depiction of a "healed" person. Someone who has Gone To Therapy. I've noticed this in a few works recently. We often see them at the end of a story, maybe in a "ten years later" epilogue. They speak in a soft, serene voice. They have Accepted what they cannot change. They have let go of a lot, including most of what we see them actually care about in the story itself. They are Happy, At Peace, in some non-descript way. They bare little resemble to the person we were actually shown. They bare little resemblance to any person. We were shown, as we usually are in stories, an agent, a desirer, someone becoming. Now they have Become. And they look back on all that silly becoming as something childish that they have moved past. Fire, you know, fire is for children who don't know any better. To be Healed is to have your fire rightly extinguished; to not even miss it.

[antigonewinchester]

anyway you should always remember that all those foreigners you see dying on the news are just as real people as you are who have just as much interiority as you do. there is nothing about you that makes you more important and it is by pure chance that you are not in their position. in fact, this holds for all of history. every person, no matter the horror of the fate that befell them, had just as much interiority as you do. i feel like some people haven't fully internalized this.

[antigonewinchester]

Me: Maybe Akane will learn 'the power to exert [her] own will' by chilling out & not care about anyone's approval of her rakugo.

Akane, chapter 163:

Well. Excited to see where things go from here!

[antigonewinchester]

[antigonewinchester]

tumblr through the rise of the internet 2.0 and massive technological change is like a little town in an apocalyptic scenario that somehow managed to survive and continue the Old Ways of a long gone world. but when you look closer, there's a Darkness,

[antigonewinchester]

The Selkie and Her Family

[antigonewinchester]

my private collection

[antigonewinchester]

SUPERNATURAL 3.03 - "Bad Day at Black Rock"