Ryan | Adult | He/Him | 🇮🇪 | I draw dumb shit and complain | @fridka is my irl waifu 💖💖
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dropped a new sunbreeze chapter i deserve praise 🥺
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made that bluesky thing bc my partner informed me there’s a dota community there
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not to only ever log in here to rant and whinge but
fuuuuuck man i really think i need to go for an adhd evaluation, the main thing that puts me off is the fact that the last time i broached the topic with my psychiatrist in ireland he very quickly brushed me off like “oh you only have autism” and i KNOW it’s because outwardly i don’t seem hyperactive
but here’s the thing, internally? it’s a god damn 24/7 tornado in here. i feel so fucking restless no matter what im doing. drawing? nope, time to spend more time rummaging through ipad files and staring listlessly out the window. 3D? time for me to do one step and then end up on random wiki articles for 3 hours. making tea? i will not just stand there i must pace around until the kettle is done.
i barely finished my final college project and had to cut so many corners to just get it done because the allocated time i set to animate the damn thing i spent 85% of it just,,, looking out the window and daydreaming - and i LIKE to animate - i WANT to animate but i can’t stay focused. if the task is not instantly rewarding i cannot keep focused on it.
this was true for high school, i will always remember a conversation i had with a friend (straight a student who also worked on games) - i asked him how did he manage to get it done and he told me “just find something you can reward yourself with after” - i tried it and it did not work, my mind would just wander and not retain anything and it SUCKED
i want so badly to CREATE things, that ability exists in me because the small things i managed i feel i’ve been good at, but there’s a stupid fucking gremlin in my head that won’t allow it to happen
i won’t go into like, day to day irl existing bc yes it does effect me there too and it’s not pretty
#sorry for the wall of text i guess i just want some input here lmao#it could also just be that i’m lazy and useless and just have to buck up and not hunt for excuses for being worthless kek#okay okay i’ll stop whining#but don’t respond to this if you’re just going to be pitying i want like actual input here#not pity nor sympathy#im FRUSTRATED not SAD
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hi
what emotional neglect does to a mf
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MILLIONS OF YEARS LATER AND WE HAVE A NEW CHAPTER AND MY PARTNER'S CHAPTER ART GOES UP WITH IT RAAAAAAH!!!!!!
#now if you'll excuse me im off to play wow#dota 2#dark willow#dota 2 fanfic#dota fanfiction#fanfic#fanficton#mireska sunbreeze
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Chapter header art for @anx1oustig3r
Sol and dramatic doodles
And something special under the cut (it’s sfw don’t worry)
#MALAAAAAAARKEY!!!!! GRRRR AND LIL MIRESKA THIS IS MOTIVATION TO UPLOAD THAT CHAPTER TODAY!!!!!!!#AND I MISSED SEEING SOL A LOT#HE’S A JERK BUT HE’S GOOD CONTENT
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Chapter header art for @anx1oustig3r ‘s Sunbreeze :3
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HUSKY NOISES RAAAHRAHRAAAHRAAAAAHWAAOOOOWWWW
Chapter header art for @anx1oustig3r ‘s Sunbreeze :3
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this is the biggest pokemon leak weve ever seen. holy fuck.
ive been here for multiple beta leaks since the spaceworld gold demo in 2018 and the diamond and pearl beta leak somewhere after that. this is by far the most intensive leak of beta pokemon stuff ive seen.
source code and beta builds for gens 3, 4, 5, and later 6 and 7. it is MASSIVE.
there is so fucking much and you can see coverage here
this document from junichi masuda made in 2005 is the highlight for me, the symbol used in the hgss arceus event. it seems the legendaries are like a greek pantheon of deities


but we got more
internal development and discussion. universe creation lore, character profiles (e.g. skyla is a sexy latina pilot inspired by jennifer lopez and isabella fontana), never before seen designs, seen-before designs (latiken had a fucking sprite!), concept art, gen 3 had some darker looking discarded dev art. WHAT IS THIS IT RULES
here are compiled beta sprites from gens 3, 4, 5


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Friendships as a teenager: we used to talk 5 hours every night now it’s down to 3… are we still friends 🤔? I wonder if they don’t like me anymore
Friendships as an adult: omg I’ve finally cleared up 20 minutes of my schedule to talk to my friend I haven’t spoken to in 4 months #bffs #we will find eachother in every life
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RAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! BRAITH GETTING THE VIOLENCE SHE DESERVES!!!!!!
Goretober day 3 - gashes!
Braith has a history with Fionn Wolfsbane showing up at her family’s farm for tax collection. however each time ended in bloodshed and finally she had enough.
I am doggone crazy for Fionn Wolfsbane he ho he HA
Characters belong to @anx1oustig3r
Wips
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Just a few more hours
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Can’t say much about her due to spoilies, but she belongs to @anx1oustig3r
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two days for this,,,,
flint learning his silly powers are maybe not so silly after all through actual manslaughter
prompt: impalement
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Photo
Malcom in the Middle | | 1.16 Water Park
Bonus +
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