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Mirage: Alright guys, I"m trying to be the first person to fight a living goblin. But, I have a problem, like everyone else in the apex games does, I'm a catholic! Alright, I believe in God, and everyone knows that the only place you find goblins is in Hell. So here is my solution: Party City. Come to Party City, we'll dress one of our employees up in a goblin outfit and you can just beat the shit out of them for 10 bucks. Just beat the shit out of them for 10 bucks, that's all I ask, we are going out of business, we.. we need cash. We need money right now please god!

Bangalore: Elliot, what the hell?

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Ask me for different scenarios and I will come up with a incorrect apex quote for it. This is a challenge.

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Lifeline: Hey Rev, check this out.

Revenant: Hang on, I’m busy.

Lifeline: Hey, look at me.

Revenant: Give me a second.

Lifeline: I’m more important, give me attention.

Revenant: I said give me a goddamn second!

Lifeline: I’m getting very upset.

Revenant: I don’t care how upset you are, I said give me a second.

Revenant: Okay, what is it?

Lifeline: I can balance a helmet on my head.

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Im just sitting here, watching ya’ll go crazy over this post. This is only my second day haha

Revenant: If one more person says I’m too dramatic, im going to light myself on fire.

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Crypto: I’m a wanted man.

Mirage: Impossible! You weren’t even a wanted child!

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Im glad this one was accurate.

Revenant: If one more person says I’m too dramatic, im going to light myself on fire.

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Revenant, with two breadslices pressed to the sides of mirage’s face: What are you?

Mirage: a snack.

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Bloodhound: I’m off to fight god anyone want anything?

Bloodhound: Sorry everyone, god didn’t drop anything worthwhile. Only soup.

Mirage: What do you mean only soup?

Bloodhound: It means he only dropped soup.

Wraith, overhearing: Well get out of the increased soup drop rate universe!

Bloodhound: Alright, you don’t have to shout at me I’ll go kill another god.

Bloodhound: the other god dropped only soup.

Lifeline: What do you mean the other god only dropped soup?

Wraith: Go into the next universe!

Bloodhound: No matter how much I try to farm rare items, The gods keep dropping soup!

Wraith: Where are you?

Bloodhound: Fighting the primordial soup gods!

Wraith: Why are you fighting the primordial soup gods?!?!

Bloodhound: FUCK YOU!

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Revenant: If one more person says I’m too dramatic, im going to light myself on fire.

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Wraith: I had a mental breakdown in the goodwill the other day, while looking at ceramic bowls.

Wraith: Oh, that was a hot mess.

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Octane: *uses jump pad*

Mirage: Oh my god, he on some x games motherf-

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Wattson: Alright Campers, we’re gonna play a little game called the name game. You can go first!

Bloodhound: My names Chakaoofka and my dad knows god.