apistol13

[apistol13]

THE ROYAL RUMBLE HAPPENED

The title basically tells you everything you need to know. I was pumped for this year’s Rumble because it is my favorite pay-per-view every year since I saw John Cena return in 2008 and clean house. Because I am trying to be a writer (whether I am successful or not, you be the judge), here is my review of the Royal Rumble.

Before you blow me up in the comments remember this:

MY OPINION DOESN’T MATTER BECAUSE I LOVE WRESTLING.

Now that that is out of the way, here we go!

Kick Off Show

Before the main show, WWE had a couple matches that I really enjoyed. I thought that the RAW Tag Titles shouldn’t have changed hands because I love me some Sheamus and Cesaro, but hey, they make The Club look like an actual threat. So it’s not all bad, but I already miss the previous tag champs.

Along with that match, the Smackdown women had a six-woman tag match where the faces came out on top. I mean, it happened, that’s about all I can say. I do wish that Smackdown Live had a bigger footprint on the show. I mean there was no Intercontinental match or Smackdown Tag Title match. That isn’t smart even if RAW needs all the help they can get.

Nia Jax also crushed Sasha Banks. Crushed may be a strong word but it was what they were going for. It did fine.

Main Show

The first match was the RAW Women’s championship match and it was pretty good. It had some good moments, especially the Natural Selection on the apron, but it didn’t wow me. It moved the story along with Bailey and Charlotte and it makes it seem like Charlotte needs something extra to beat Bailey. I can’t argue with that. Hopefully Bailey does not win the title on RAW.

The second match was Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns with Chris Jericho in a shark cage. This match was so freaking good. I loved every second of this match and Jericho’s constant yelling of “KEVIN!!!” was exactly what I wanted. The extreme gimmick was done well while staying within the PG rating. It was a super clean match that got my blood pumping. AND HOW ABOUT THAT FINISH. I LOVE YOU BRAUN STROWMAN!!!

*Cough* Excuse me. I’m sorry, but Braun Strowman has quickly become a favorite of mine on RAW.

Moral of the story: I really enjoyed the match.

Next came the Cruiserweight Championship match. It was fine. I don’t care about the cruiserweights and neither does WWE. We will see if that changes with Neville’s title reign but when he loses it, I will go back to not caring about the cruiserweights.

The next match was easily match of the night and is an early contender for WWE’s Match of the Year. AJ Styles vs. John Cena delivered in all facets. Cena had to pull out all the stops to get this win including putting Styles in the Figure Four Leg Lock. Yes, THAT Figure Four Leg Lock. With the win he ties Ric Flair for the most world titles in a career. 

This match had everything. It had high stakes with tying the record on the line vs AJ Styles’ reputation as “just an indie guy.” It had a reckless pace with neither guy working a rest hold. All of their rest came from selling. It was a beautiful match that does get to be in conversation as just as good a match as Okada vs Omega.

Royal Rumble

The Royal Rumble was good for the most part. It had a lot of action and put over the guys that needed to get put over. Braun was strong, so was Lesner, and Goldberg. Do I agree with who won in the end? Not really, I think Randy Orton didn’t need this win, but Bray Wyatt surely did. Bray suffers from never winning the big match. It would be different if his character was the eternal underdog but he is the exact opposite of that! Because of that major factor, he should get a big win to cement him as that powerful heel.

Now, let’s talk about the WWE giving the proverbial double birds to the WWE Universe. At No. 30, Roman “The WWE Tells Me What To Do and It Makes the Fans Hate Me” Reigns came out. 

Every. Single. Fan. Cried.

Except for Lucas. Because he’s a troll.

But why? Why wouldn’t WWE go with someone we haven’t seen that night or at all! Bobby Roode, Samoa Joe, Shinsuke Nakamura, Kurt Angle, the list goes on and on of who could have come out but instead we got Roman Reigns. THEN HE ELIMINATED THE UNDERTAKER.

If WWE wanted to make Roman a face then that was a dumb move. This seems incredibly deliberate though. This seems like WWE knowing how the Universe would react and it’s the start of a Roman heel turn. Gosh I sound like an internet smark, but hey, I believe WWE is smarter than expecting a face pop for Roman when literally nobody wanted it. 

Maybe that is where I go wrong. I trust WWE.

[apistol13]

La La Land - That’s my heart your poking.

Ok, let’s talk about La La Land for a hot second. I went into this movie knowing two things:

1. It had a 93% on Rotten Tomatoes

2. It made Kevin Smith cry.

When I walked out of the movie, I knew two new things:

1. This may be the best movie I’ve ever seen

2. I am much more in touch with my emotions than I had previously thought.

From here on out be prepared for some spoilers and what some might call emotional BS because this movie made me emote like a mothertrucker.

So La La Land is the story of two people struggling to get what they want in this world. The couple comes in the form of Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling. They were fantastic! In a movie where there are no real major supporting roles, these two had to carry this movie on their shoulders and they knocked it out of the park. Stone’s character, Mia, is charming and right from the start I fell in love with her. She’s an underdog in the truest sense because she is portrayed next to “prettier” or “more talented” Mias, but that doesn’t stop her. We crave her victory because she is not letting her dreams die.

Ryan Gosling plays Sebastian, a jazz pianist who is down on his luck and is trying to restore jazz to its former glory. He immediately comes across as eccentric and loving; a real all-or-nothing character. Giving up his dream to return a legendary jazz bar to its former glory is a no deal for him.

You know how the story goes. They fall in love. They fight. They get back together.

But then this movie screws with you.

SPOILER ALERT!!!!

They don’t stay together.

It doesn’t end with them blowing up. It ends with them saying, “Hey. This was the plan all along right?”

Mia goes off to Paris to become a movie star and Sebastian saves enough money to open Seb’s, a jazz bar.

That sounds pretty cheesy or anti-climactic. I can hear my mom screaming, “Austin, you film nut! That’s too cliché for you!” 

I know Mom. Calm down.

Where this movie shines is in it’s ability to make you feel without words. Early on this movie sets a precedent that it can look forward and backward in the timeline. It does this by following Mia after the traffic incident to her meeting Sebastian after getting fired. Immediately we get that same timeline, but this time from Sebastian’s perspective. That precedent is a massive must have because without it, the end makes no sense.

Along with establishing that, in the first scenes, the movie also establishes that this is not a normal movie because of the bright colors. There are no two similar colors in many of the opening scenes because that’s how the theater would be. Plays are not subtle. They can’t be. For every audience member to see, they must be big and bold. This movie comes across that way.

Finally, there is one melody that keeps coming up. Sebastian when he is in his hardest, most intimate moments, he plays this song. 

So we have the three main things there. First, the timeline can be screwed with, second, this is not a normal movie, and third, a recurring melody. Here comes the big drop. 

The last 15 minutes broke me.

Again, SPOILER ALERT.

Ok. *takes deep breath* This is so beautiful.

What is it that the two main characters wanted in the beginning?

Mia wanted to be a famous actress and Sebastian wanted to be the owner of a jazz club. They wanted that more than anything and because of that they embarked on a journey that only dreamers could go on. They lived in a dump while Mia took the risk of writing her own play and Sebastian played for wherever needed a pianist. They scraped by knowing that eventually this would all be worth it. Along the way, they sacrifice for each other. Sebastian signs a contract to play techno jazz for a lot of money and she let’s him go. When she sees that he has finally given up on his dream, she leaves. She thinks to hell with it, I’m going to make it. 

Then she doesn’t. Her one woman show flops and almost nobody shows up. This is the end of her dreams too.

Where does Sebastian’s sacrifice come? He drives hours to get her in order to get her to an audition that she earned with the one woman show. Then, he lets her go to Paris. They both let the other one move on even though they know that they are leaving love behind.

At last, the ending. 

Mia is with her husband going on a date. She’s a famous actress with a mansion and a beautiful daughter. They finish the meal and walk into this jazz club. As they walk in, she finds out that the club is called Seb’s. They sit down and out walks Sebastian. Their eyes meet. He sits down at the piano and plays a song. THE song.

They fly back to when they first met and tell the story of how they should have fallen in love. It shows Sebastian saying no to the contract, they settle for a little house, they have a kid together. Eventually they go on a date night, pull off and find a Jazz club where this song is playing. They kiss each other how we want every movie to end. 

Then the song ends. We snap back to reality.

Mia gets up to leave with her husband, turns back and makes eye contact with Sebastian. They give each other a smile because in the end they got what they wanted. She became a famous actress. He owns the jazz club. They are happy with what they got, but at what cost? Sure. They have love that isn’t between each other but seeing that beautiful life played out before me only to see it ripped away in a cruel twist of reality broke me.

I cried.

It was beautiful.

Shout out to everyone who worked on La La Land. I hope to make something half as good as this one day.

[apistol13]

Thoughts on Day 1

Classes have started up again. Yay? Maybe? I’m going to say yay because this is my final semester at the University of Nebraska. My time here has been phenomenal. The last nearly four years put me in the exact place I wanted to be when I started. I’m about to get married, move off to a distant land (the East Coast!!!), and work by creating entertainment for all to see. Nebraska has put me in the position that allows me to do that, so thank you.

But today is day one of my last semester and I’ve noticed a few.............changes. 

The changes are not external, even though the university has been under construction for the entirety of my time here. No, these changes are internal. The internal changes have only strengthened my belief in the fact that I am in the place I was meant to be and I’m going where I’m intended to go.

First thing is that my excitement for anything outside of the J-school (College of Journalism and Mass Communications) has dropped significantly. Significantly might not even be the best word to describe it. Yeah, that doesn’t do the drop justice. I’ll try it again.

First thing is that my excitement for any class outside of the J-school has dropped to the point of apathy. 

Oooooooohhhhh. That sounded much better.

I can hear you say it now, “Austin, why are you apathetic toward your non J-school classes?” 

It’s because journalists and creators are the people who I enjoy the most. When I was a little, innocent freshman, I loved my classes on theater and English. This has changed. I find the people in my theater classes are almost unbearable because of how similar everyone’s opinions are! Everyone is a die-hard Bernie supporter who thinks the world will be saved because we will talk about the strifes of people as told by playwrights. 

Give me a break.

J-school kids are deep thinkers in reality. I can have a discussion with just about anyone about politics, sports, world news, government, ethics, the list goes on and on! But not only can I discuss reality, I can debate and flush out all of the possibilities and even, dare I say it, disagree with someone. 

I don’t mean to pick on the theater kids. They are mostly nice, as long as you don’t bring up the fact that America is a decent country. 

Reason No. 2 as to how I have changed. As the material for other classes has gone deeper into the meat of its curriculum, I get bored. Incredibly, undeniably, bored. History and science is great but, there’s no creativity for entertainment in that. There is no way to innovate the past just as there is no way to create science, you can only discover what is already there. I want to make people happy in a tangible, physical way. I want to write a movie that teaches and excites like Forrest Gump and I want to film someone’s engagement. I want to capture moments for people to relive over and over and over again. Learning about what has come before surely gives me a better appreciation and gives me an inspiration for what I could make, but I’m past a lot of it. I know about Hercules and I know about quasars. Let me film them.

Looking back on day one of semester eight, it’s clear that I’m where I’m supposed to be. 

Thanks for reading all of this. I know that this is a bit longer than my last couple. One final apology to the theater kids. You are not all that way, but the loudest ones sound very similar (dang it! I can’t escape making fun of them just a little bit.).

[apistol13]

Questions for Death.

For those of you who don’t know, there have been two deaths in my family over the last two days. They were very different, to say the least. One was the end of a life that lasted almost a century that ended after many years of pain. The other chose to leave. He was not young but taking ones own life is still a shock, no matter the age.

Death isn’t a new concept to me. When I was five my best friend, Big Uncle Al, died when he was 15 in a grain bin accident. You could say I have a tough skin for this type of thing. Because of that, I wish to hear from Death. 

Death, I’ve got some questions for you.

First and foremost, what’s it like preparing someone for dying? Do you sit by their side for days as they cry in pain or as they begin to go numb? Do you comfort them? Telling them it’s going to be ok to leave your loved ones behind because there is something better waiting for them?

Just as they are ready to breathe their last breath do you fill their hearts with warm memories of Christmas with the massive family that they started? Or how about when their kids got married, and then their grandkids, and then finding out that their oldest great grandkid was getting married? Do you give them that last burst of happiness?

I always think of death in the way people explain hypothermia. You get colder and colder but just before you succumb to the cold, suddenly your are red hot. A lot of people who die of hypothermia are found naked because their clothes kept them too hot in their final moments.

That covers my questions for a long life with a battle, so I’ve got a few more for some...unnatural deaths.

Are you their reason for taking their own life? Do you torture them with lies until the idea of life is too much? Why do you play this game? Is this for enjoyment? Are you not entertained?! Because you swoop in when no one else is prepared and you reap your winnings while we just have questions. Are you entertained by torturing one soul to join you, or the many that don’t?

My questions don’t stop there because you must be merciful in some way. Not everyone takes their own life or get buried underneath mountains of corn with so much more to live for. So who do you give mercy to?

Or are you merciful even in your sick game?

Do you give them that same warm feeling that I desperately plead for when you take a long life away? Are their final moments happy? While they dangle waiting for someone, anyone to find them are they, at the very least, thinking of their happiest moment?

I hope so. 

[apistol13]

Stream of Consciousness No. 1

I honestly had no idea what to write about today so here goes my first stream of consciousness post. This is basically me word vomiting onto a page and letting it all stick. This is an idea I came up with after watching Grace Helbig do a stream of consciousness video on her YouTube channel (check her out, she’s great). So here goes nothing!

Alright. Here comes the random.

Media is freaking weird, right? Think about it for a second. Way back in the day everyone would get pumped for the herald to show up and tell people all of the news that the king wants them to know about. All of media basically comes from this insignificant person who had a good memory. 

Or a bad one... I guess we don’t really know which.

But today’s media stems from this idea of entertainment and communication. Heralds were a big deal and then the troubadours came along, fast forward a bit and we come up with the radio. Now we are on to something because people get to be a part of bigger and bigger things. Presidential debates, boxing matches, world happenings all given to us through the speaker of a static filled radio set.

Then television came and took it’s place, but the weird part is how we are inventing new things that aren’t actually new.

That was a truly confusing sentence.

I’m thinking about podcasts. Aren’t they just personalized, more easily made radio broadcasts? And why are they so great? I can listen to several different podcasts in one sitting but if you put on a talk radio show I get bored after ten minutes! 

Why is it hard to get famous today?

Fame is given to what seems like everybody! “What’re Those!!!” videos and funny challenges put people on the map, but I work hard on a class project and I get nothing? I’m not owed anything but I think it’s weird. And how did people get famous back before YouTube and Twitter? I think they just got really lucky because some other person who got lucky before them, met them and continued the string of luck.

I think that might have only made sense in my head....why is that?

And why isn’t professional wrestling cool anymore?! I mean let’s get real here. Professional wrestling is everything that sports are trying to be but falls flat because it’s not a real sport? WWE tells stories about grit and determination, love and lust, and even the occasional slap stick comedy. If the crowd is invested then we all get a release from this crazy world and the payoff is always satisfying! Unless you are watching someone like Fandango wrestle the Gobbledy Gooker. Then no one wins.

But what do sports give us that professional wrestling doesn’t? Reality? I think that’s a cheap answer. Professional wrestling gives us more because we can relate to these athletes way more than those who are faceless men on a football field.

That got kind of cynical. I also really enjoy football sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.....

The Packers beat the Lions. Suck it Blade Braxton. 

Well this has gone on for a while. This seems like a fitting end to this post. I would like to immediately apologize for any confusing or unfinished thoughts and I hope you enjoyed this bit of insight into my incredibly odd mind.

Ok bye!

[apistol13]

New Year, New Me (and All That Malarkey)

Yes, it is officially 2017. The dastardly heel that was 2016 has been thwarted by a white meat babyface that has come to champion our hearts and minds at the start of this new year. So here’s to you guy on Facebook that is starting his diet again, and to you woman on Instagram who is going to travel more this year. Here’s to another new year, new me.

I personally despise the phrase, but for many it is a phrase of hope and wonder. It’s like trying to catch a glimpse of Santa on Christmas Eve or shaking your birthday presents before opening them. That not knowing of what could come and the how great it could be is what get’s a lot of people going in January. “New year, new me” is a testament to our ability to hope. Hope is such a rare thing these days. I take that back, hope isn’t just a rare thing. Hope is the struggle of a broken world.

It’s an odd thing isn’t it? Being optimistic that the future will be better than the present. This is an anomaly in the eyes of the masses. I get why it’s hard. News channels firing out the loudest voices just looking for a reaction or Facebook walls being filled with anger inducing clickbait about the evils of the world are filling our minds where hope use to live.  The lack of love between people quickly beats down our walls of hope and wiggles it’s way into our happiest places. Month by month, we lose more hope on our dreams for the year. February comes and we miss a day or two at the gym, causing us to spiral back into our potato chip comas. In March, the new YouTube channel hasn’t had a video uploaded to it for several weeks. When the summer sun hits, work catches up to us and our big travel plans fall apart. As the leaves begin to fall, so do our spirits. The oddly chaotic monotony of life mixed with constant bad news numbs us to the hope that a mere 300 days ago was running through our veins. 

Something changes though, when December comes. December marks the time where we begin to look back at the year.

What do we see? Do we see what we lacked during the year? Do we kick ourselves for not losing weight in February or do we dream of the vacation that didn’t happen?

No.

We look back and see the good that happened. We remember the new recipe we learned for the best clam chowder and we remember throwing people in to the lake we were at for a three hour get away. Smiles and cheer come our way because we do not remember what we lack, for what we lack has no bearing on what we are. I guess that’s the fickle thing about hope. If we choose to, we can get hope from the past as well as getting it from the unknown future. Maybe it’s what some people call “graduation goggles” but every time I look back on a year that sucked during, seems a whole lot better on the way back. 

I think that is what hope is all about. Hope is giving yourself a reason to keep on keeping on. Hope is planning on how you will change in January and looking back to see how you actually changed during December. 

So ride this high! Continue believing in what you can do because you can! Make a new you this year, but more importantly, no matter what, don’t forget to hope.

Happy New Year all!

[apistol13]

WWE Review: Backlash

If I could put my feelings into words better than the above GIF does, then I would be the world’s greatest writer. Alas, I’m not, so there’s the GIF that explains my feelings about Smackdown Live’s first PPV, Backlash.

Yes, I am going into more in depth than that but as you can see I’m excited for all the things when it comes to Smackdown Live. 

Baron Corbin won the pre-show match against Apollo Crews. Not much else needs to be said, but I will continue on nonetheless. The match was fun, showcasing both men’s strengths and giving some needed momentum to a heel with not much to do. Apollo Crews’s talent and skill in the ring will get him over the second they decide to put him in a big time feud. Who should that feud be with? It should be someone new because the Smackdown roster is just too thin right now and all of the big time players are taken. Baron Corbin should move on to destroying some more people and then have him go on to take on Randy Orton after Orton’s feud with Wyatt finishes.

BECKY LYNCH IS THE WOMEN’S CHAMPION. ALL OF THE YES. YES. YES. AND ONCE AGAIN YES. 

....Sorry......

....I’m just really excited for this....

This match was all that it should be and then some. The women were given plenty of time and nobody was forgotten in getting some shine. Naomi looked athletic as all get out and with that she instantly becomes must see. Carmella went down to the final two and got heat for slapping around crowd favorite Lynch. It was smart booking and it gave people the good feelings that the show needed to start with. It also created multiple storylines for a stacked Smackdown women’s division.

Becky Lynch got the short end of the stick before the brand split and now has the ability to carry the torch, not just for the Women’s Division, but for the whole Smackdown brand.

Heel Usos won to move on to the Tag Team finals. For a face authority in charge, that statement makes no sense. The worse part is that David Otunga didn’t help by pointing this out. Either way, the Hype Bros lost and they will need a shot in the arm after this or they may face what has plagued Zach Ryder’s career, staleness due to losing. 

The Miz continues his reign as Intercontinental Champion, but the bigger story is how Miz and Daniel Bryan are starting to go at it backstage. After the Miz’s promo of a lifetime, it was reported that WWE producers didn’t want him and Bryan working together. More intelligent people in the company probably realized how huge this could be for both men and for TV ratings. I hope this happens more and I hope Miz continues his IC title reign for the next year.

Dolph Ziggler, though? He needs help and he needs it now. He needs some TV wins and a feud that he can win, the issue being that the high profile guys are already taken. On top of that, the guys that aren’t in feuds need the wins more than Ziggler. That is a dangerous combination for the Showoff.

I’m sorry Bray. You deserve better. 

I enjoyed the match between Kane and Bray Wyatt, but COME ON! Sure this makes Bray mad at Orton, but WHO CARES? Bray was going after him and didn’t need to be derailed by the injured superstar. Instead of looking like the god he was trying to be, he was beaten up and fed to a guy that most fans don’t care about. Poor showing WWE.

GO GET YOUR DAUGHTER A TONGUE, HEATH!

This was fantastic from start to finish. The Usos being full heels, getting heat as quick as I’ve ever seen, and crushing the soul of a man that we want to see win was exactly what this match needed. Heath Slater and Rhyno are the most over tag team because of Slater’s ability to take any gimmick to it’s max. He’s been around a long time and now he gets to shine. The story was heartfelt and humorous culminating into a great moment for a WWE guy through and through. Well done to all involved in this angle. Yes, that includes you, WWE Creative.

The ending to this PPV was everything it needed to be. The match between AJ Styles and Dean Ambrose showed why these men are on the level that they are at. The match was great, the finish made sense, and AJ Styles is WWE Champion. If there is anything to nitpick, it’s that I think this match deserved a clean finish instead of the low-blow. That would give this match the final note that it deserved and Ambrose could still challenge for his title on Smackdown come Tuesday. There’s no way that Styles is going to be booed by everyone so WWE should stop trying and just let him win clean and talk up a heel storm. He’s good enough to do that.

Back to the positives of this match. This wasn’t a kick-out-of-each-others-finishers-fest. WWE needs to do this more and could do well with letting some matches finish from non-finishing moves to help add intensity to these high profile matches. I get it. You gotta get your s*** in, but for the good of the story, get your s*** in later.

Moral of the story is that Backlash was overall a fantastic first PPV for the blue brand and helped build Smackdown as a real challenger to RAW’s dominance. Things that need to be attended to ASAP include:

- The thin singles roster

- Yeah, that’s pretty much it.

If Smackdown gets a few more guys in the singles division, they will be fine. Otherwise, this PPV only helped Smackdown and Tuesday night can’t come fast enough.

-Thanks for reading and don’t forget to talk big and write bigger.

[apistol13]

On My Mind

Hello. I’m back.

I have a bunch of things on my mind and I had no idea where to put them. Some of them are political so Facebook is out, MySpace doesn’t exist, and YouTube videos take too long to edit (if you want them to look good) so here I am back on tumblr. So here I go getting ready to spew all of the thoughts I have that I can’t put on Facebook. 

Colin Kaepernick

I agree that Kaepernick has the right to not stand during the National Anthem, but give me a better reason than what he gave. Kaepernick said, “I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses Black people and people of color.”

Why would his comments not satisfy me? Because his views on what the flag symbolizes is wrong. The flag represents what the American people want as the ideal for America. We place our hands on our hearts because America is messed up and if we are together for just a single moment in time then we know that as a country we can come together and make the good ole US of A the place that our families thought it was when they first came here. Sitting down is a turning away from America instead of standing for what’s right. That is why we call it standing for what’s right, not sitting for what is right.

Disagree? Cool, be civil about it.

Sex

Holy cow have I had thoughts in my head about sex. Get your minds out of the gutter, I don’t mean it like that. I want to talk about how my fiancée and I are waiting for marriage to have sex. 

THIS MAY BE THE MOST DIFFICULT THING I HAVE EVER DONE OR EVER WILL DO.

You would think that this would be a personal struggle just between Liz and I and you would be mostly right, but we also have to deal with the fact that there is pressure on us to break our pact. 

I’m not against sex at all. In fact, I think sex should be put on a pedestal between a man and a woman who love each other. Yes, I’m Catholic. 

What’s the point of “saving ourselves” for marriage? Well it’s quite simple. What good is marriage if not for saving things for it? If I act as if Liz and I are married what’s even the point of getting married? I love her and want our marriage to be special. That’s why we wait. We wait because we love.

The pressure on us to break our pact come from all over the place. Work, friends, media, you name it and it is working against us. This idea that if you do what you feel is good then it is good runs rampant, but I say no! My co-workers who talk about how they’ve had sex four times this week and how relaxed they feel makes me sad! Why?! Because I want them to experience the love that Liz and I have. We love each other so much to deny ourselves and have denied ourselves with others to give our everything to each other.

I know, that sounds super cliché, but here’s a better way of explaining it.

Imagine that you are in between classes on a Monday and you’re piece of 5 gum (Kobalt, of course) did not hold you over to lunch. You say to yourself, “I want a snack.” So you go to the union and you have a choice, an apple or a cookie. Most people want the cookie more than the apple. You are an adult so you decide to take the cookie. You do this every day for three weeks. Every day the cookie that is made the same way every day tastes worse and worse.

BUT! Imagine if you denied having the cookie every day except for Friday, that cookie will taste SO good! This is what waiting for marriage is like. Doing married people things when you are not married will make doing married things while your married less amazing. 

I rambled a lot during this. Of course leave comments if you are confused.

Shaving

I went to a barber the other day and it was absolutely amazing. If you need a shave and a haircut go to Midtown Barber. He is freaking amazing. Yeah. I said amazing twice in that description. Deal with it.

That’s all I got at the moment. Thanks for your time and be civil in the comments.

With love,

Pistol1

[apistol13]

More Writing How To’s: Emotions

Yes, hello ladies and gentlemen. I am back on the blog. I’m sorry that I have been away, especially because this blog is for a grade, but I’m here now and it’s time for more writing tips with Austin!

This week we are talking about emotions and writing. Two things that go strolling down the boulevard like that annoying couple everyone hates but still envies. You know what I’m talking about. Everything that you write should have some kind of emotional force behind it. Even the most boring of research papers need an emotional drive behind it because that’s writing that people want to read! 

Getting facts spewed in my face is great and all, but a fact with a purpose can change the world. Think about some of the best writing you’ve ever read. Did it make you feel something? Did it leave you fulfilled or with a new vigor? That’s what emotional writing can and should do. 

http://www.si.com/olympics/2015/11/09/michael-phelps-rehabilitation-rio-2016

The story linked above is an emotional piece. It’s the story of Michael Phelps and his crazy life. Nothing is off limits here. Everything from his wins at the Olympics to the lows of rehab. It’s all there and if you don’t feel anything while reading it then I must be forced to believe that you are in fact a robot.

But why is this more than just emotional? It’s emotion backed by facts. Every fact, every quote is used with a purpose of more than just telling Phelps’ story. It’s meant to inspire us to fight through whatever our demons are. That’s powerful stuff.

Now think about Facebook. A lot of emotions are on Facebook aren’t there? Those don’t seem to have as lasting impact as the Michael Phelps story because Facebook can be emotions without a purpose. It can be just a bunch of angry, sad, happy people just throwing it all out there. If you want your words to have an impact, don’t just write emotions, write with an emotional purpose.

As always, go out and write well!

[apistol13]

Collegiate Writing Pt. 4: Procrastinating

This blog post has spawned from reading a blog post on how to write when procrastinating (click on procrastinating to get to said blog post). It’s a great read and it will explain a lot I have to say in this post. Ok, time for my words.

I am a procrastinator and I am proud! 

Bet you don’t hear that everyday, but it’s very true and anyone who knows me understands how my working process goes. If I have three weeks for a project, I’ll start it three days before it’s due, probably. If there is a research paper due at 4:00 on the Friday before fall break, you can bet that I will start it on Wednesday, hopefully, but know that it will be done and turned in at 4:00.

Is this a bad system? Well, honestly no, it works fine for me. I know when assignments are due and I can complete them with a high rate of efficiency and quality. Isn’t that the goal? Get stuff done so we can all go out and do the things that we actually want to do?

Well I do that, just not in the order that most people think is right.

I enjoy my time then do homework. What a concept. I know that I have to get it done and when I have no time to waste I literally do not waste my time. I am able to prioritize and only do what truly needs done. In my opinion, I think that I have more time for friends, family, and video games because if I were wasting time while writing, I’d be on Facebook and Twitter. I would not spend time with people! So by procrastinating I’m setting my priorities straight by putting friends and family first.

You’re welcome. 

But really, this is the best way for me to work, but maybe you are different. My girlfriend has tons of sticky notes and planned times so that she can be efficient and have high quality work for her professors to ogle over. She still has time for me, her friends, and all of the cool stuff that she does. We both get stressed out and we both get our work done. Who cares what order it is in? 

The moral of the story for this part in the Collegiate Writing series is that it’s ok to procrastinate. Own it. Make yourself efficient but don’t be complacent. Procrastination does mean that you have a high chance of crashing and burning. It’s like this gif:

It’s high risk, but it’s also high reward. Check out the link in the first part of the post to check out how to best procrastinate and stay focused. 

As always, go out and write well!

[apistol13]

Collegiate Writing Pt. 3 COFFEE

Last week, I wrote about the benefits of getting tipsy in order to crank out your most creative thoughts on to paper. This week I go a different route. Instead, I am talking about a college student’s second favorite beverage and the one thing that made getting through BIO 101 Lab at 8:30 in the morning manageable. 

Ahhhhhh there is nothing like a tall mug filled with steamy, black life in the morning. Yes, I’m talking about the wonderful cup of coffee. Known by many names such as a cup a joe, wake up juice, or just simply happiness. While basic white girls and hipsters are freaking out about the rise of Starbucks and other cute little coffee shops, the average college student should be just as excited because coffee is a great writing tool. 

Coffee has many great aspects to it that aid the struggling writer. For one, it is normally caffeinated, a stimulant that is scientifically proven to quicken neuronal firing in the brain. Basically, your brain works faster after a cup of java. This works incredibly well during the editing process. Your brain will be able to catch mistakes faster and will bring better words to the front of your mind quicker than a non-caffeinated one.

Not only does the caffeine help your system but how coffee tastes and feels actually heightens your senses as well. We all scrunch our faces up when we get way too strong coffee. That bitter taste coming across the tastebuds is a way to get your heart going and your brain firing. Bitter tastes have been said to be associated with foods that boost metabolism and stimulate immune functions. Simply put, if it’s bitter, it’ll make you feel better meaning you will feel better about writing.

Last thing is that coffee is a social agent that is an easy way to get other people’s ideas without feeling threatened. Reporters often ask to get coffee with those they are going to interview because it makes both feel comfortable about the situation. Good friends get coffee together, “cute first dates” can happen over coffee, and when two people get together to drink coffee and talk then ideas can get exchanged and that can help your writing down the road.

So drink up and enjoy the morning paper. After that, sip from your favorite mug and tap along on your keyboard, possibly at 12:20, on tumblr.

As always, go out and write well!

[apistol13]

Collegiate Writing Pt. 2 BOOZE

Hello once again! It is time for another How to: Collegiate Writing this one is all about a college students’ favorite thing, ALCOHOL.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, “What does drinking alcohol have to do with writing?” and my response to you is... be quiet this is my blog. But in all seriousness alcohol is near and dear to the heart of the writer especially if said writer is in college. Sometimes the difference between an A and an F hinges on a balancing act of drunkenness and sobriety. 

So what is alcohol good for? Besides giving you the courage to talk to the cute girl at the party and turning some people into total jerks, alcohol can be very useful when used in moderation. ***KEY WORD IS MODERATION*** Alcohol can send some people stumbling down a large flight of stairs so keep the drinks to a minimum when you have a six-page creative writing assignment due in 22 hours. That being said, a shot of Fireball or a glass of wine could in fact help you getting words on the page. While everyone has heard about this phenomena there is actual proof behind it. According to https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/choke/201204/alcohol-benefits-the-creative-process (the whole study’s findings and methods can be found here http://www.iee.unibe.ch/unibe/philnat/biology/zoologie/cb/content/e7117/e7118/e8764/e145926/Jarosz_CscCog2012.pdf) there was a study done set out to figure out if alcohol impacted the creative process. Without going into huge detail, those that were drunk (BAC of around .075) were able to solve creative problems faster and with more success than their sober peers. What does this mean for us in college? It means that if you have writers block a good way to get the ideas flowing would be to grab your good friend Jack Daniels and take a swig. Now, I do need to say that this method would not be as successful if there are more pressing matters in your drunken state. Those pressing matters could be that your friends are over drinking with you, Youtube was up or even that you received a text from literally anyone. This is because alcohol does a great job of making you focus on just one thing at a time, so make sure that you’re writing is the only thing that you are focusing on.

So there you have it! Alcohol can be a road map around writer’s block even if you don’t remember if you turned left or right. Either way your paper will be done and you won’t remember the sorrows that midterms have pushed upon you. It’s a win-win! 

That’s going to do it for this week. Next week we will talk about the benefits of the college students second favorite beverage: coffee.

As always, go out and write well!

[apistol13]

How to: Collegiate Writing Pt. 1

Welcome one and all to a blog post written by a college student telling college students how to write. Ironic. 

Let’s get this thing started off the exact same way many of you start your midterm papers - by staring blankly at a screen for upwards of twenty minutes then watching Youtube for an hour. 

Done with that? Good. 

Now that you’re incredible caffeine induced stress levels are at maximum it’s time to take a deep breath. No seriously, calm the heck down. Writing a paper or writing anything is nowhere near as scary as you would believe it to be. All of us have thoughts that are intelligent and worth while that our professors are trying to pry out of our brains. There are tons of ways you can go about starting a paper. 

Lifehack.org says that you should seclude yourself and focus only on the paper. Outline what you want to write and hit it with all you’ve got. For more on this check out this link - http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/six-ways-to-start-the-writing-process.html.

I have a bit of a different approach. Hardly ever do I know enough about what I want to really write about until I’m almost done with my first draft. So how can I get to that magical point of knowing what I want to write and writing it well? 

Word vomit.

I literally will type out whatever pops into my head whether it is about my topic or not.

Catdog. Surge. I’m out of ramen. I love my girlfriend. Why is it that the sky is blue but I really don’t want to know because then I’ll lose respect for the fact that I like the blue sky.

Did any of that make a lot of sense? ABSOLUTELY NOT. But guess what it did? It put something on the page. The next step is to start word vomiting about the topic you are writing about. Start off with one word then turn it into short phrases. Something will spark a whole paragraph and eventually into what you want to actually write.

So finish off the last bit of ramen you made yourself and sit in your comfy chair and spew words all across the page. It’ll make sense eventually.

[apistol13]

This post is funny and it is a great piece of ironic writing. Instead of saying what you should do when it comes to good writing, this article makes fun of that and gives the exact opposite of what you expect.

http://www.dailywritingtips.com/50-tips-on-how-to-write-good/

[apistol13]

Ander the Magnificent

[apistol13]

Another video project

[apistol13]

2nd Project