archathiums - Tumblr blog

[archathiums]

So guys, I’ve made an important decision to remove this blog. There has been a lot of pain and drama attached to it and I’m honestly just so tired of dealing with it.

You can find me here

[archathiums]

loki stans need to be grateful that taiki waititi made loki into a gold-digging, opportunistic lil’ sugar baby instead of the genocidal weirdo he was before ... appreciate the gifts you’re given ... appreciate that loki canonically fucked his way to the top of a trash heap

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Professor: make a slide show explaining what career field you want to go into.

Me:

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“The witch-burnings did not take place during the “Dark Ages,” as we commonly suppose. They occurred between the fifteenth and eighteenth centuries– precisely during and following the Renaissance, that glorious period when, as we are taught, “men’s” minds were being freed from bleakness and superstition. While Michelangelo was sculpting and Shakespeare writing, the witches were burning. The whole secular “Enlightenment,” in fact, the male professions of doctor, lawyer, judge, artist, all rose from the ashes of the destroyed women’s culture. Renaissance men were celebrating naked female beauty in their art, while women’s bodies were being tortured and burned by the hundreds of thousands all around them.”

— Monica Sjoo & Barbara Mor in The Great Cosmic Mother: Rediscovering the Religion of the Earth (via lunamtenebris)

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drunk history’s take on baron von steuben is pretty spot on

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achilles and patroclus:

scholars:

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Not a recent find, but the archaeological site Gobekli Tepe in Turkey has founded many new discoveries in the world of archaeology. Discovered (for what it was) by Klaus Schmidt, the site contains huge, sophisticated carved stones that predate Stonehenge by about 6,000 years. There is also evidence of tool use, namely stone hammers and knives. Gobekli Tepe is widely believed to be a temple or other such holy place, and has since changed archaeologists understanding how prehistoric societies functioned. 

For further reading, here is an article about the site and why it’s important.

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y’know…. conversations about world war ii would be a lot more bearable and constructive if white men found that period rightly horrific rather than pornographic 

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A tempered breastplate resisting a musketball. The term bulletproof originates from armourers shooting their armour to prove its strength. Knights and guns co-existed for over 200 years.

Full Documentary here

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History wants so badly for Cleopatra to be beautiful. Like they can’t conceive of Rome being intimidated by anything less

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Fun Fact: Apparently Oscar Wilde was 6’3”, which in the 1870s would have been the equivalent of like 6’7”-6’9” tall. He was so ridiculously huge and awkward that one of his friends described him as looking like a “great white caterpillar.” That is all.

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That feeling when your Anthropology professor holds his hand up to stop you from raising your hand during a lecture because he’s tired of calling on you for answers, but there are literally five people who read the chapter including you.

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I should be more active here.

Feel free to send me things y’all wanna know about.

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Do you know how many nonsensical ways Hilter survived is uncanny- he literally had his life spared as a solider in WW1

The man cheated death over 5 times

It’s insane

But this in direct reference to some wishing to kill Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson.

“It’s a joke in the history fandom to want to kill historical figures.”

Me with a history blog- getting their bachelors in history.

Can’t relate

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“It’s a joke in the history fandom to want to kill historical figures.”

Me with a history blog- getting their bachelors in history.

Can’t relate

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Norse mythology please :) (Especially if you have anything on Høder - the blind one)

Lmao, naturally I read Høder and went ‘whom’st’ve the fuck??’ But with a quick google search I learned I knew him by his angelicized name Hod.

So the important thing to know is like all good mythos twins are always opposing. Like good-evil, black-white, sun-moon, right? It’s all metaphors and shit. This is no different with Hod and Baldr.

Baldr is literally the epitome of sunshine child. He’s the god of truth and light. He’s so Fucking beloved, he’s the prettiest god and his mother made him literally fucking indestructible.

And so one day, the Norse gods being the drunk dumbasses they are literally are like:

“Y O DUDE. Let’s all get together and like try and injure Baldr.” and Baldr being the good guy he is like- “mkkay I’m indestructible anyways. H IT ME I NEED TO FEEL ALIVE.” So they make this whole Fucking festival where they take turns stabbing him, chucking spears and watching them bounce of Baldrs glistening, sweet, sweet abs.

Enter the shit fest.

Hod first and foremost is blind. This is a metaphor obviously since Baldr is the god of truth and he literally can’t see the truth. (Get it. ITS METAPHORS AAAAAA) and Hod is also naturally a god of darkness. Low and behold, Parallel to his brother.

So everyone is at this party, honoring Baldr for literally just being the hottest man alive. This is the first time we see a truly malicious Loki. Most of the time he’s just kind of constantly being an asshole- but he’s not like, 100% dick.

Until now- so Loki disguises himself as a hag and hobbles up to Freya/Frigga (I cannot remember which- sue me.) like “how is he so perfect.” And Freya/Frigga shrugs. And Loki is like

“But why tho.”

“I dunno, he just is.”

“But why tho.”

“I don’t know.”

“But why tho.”

“Oh my god is mistletoe.”

So this is how Loki learns that Baldrs one weakness is mistletoe. So he goes and fashions a spear out of mistletoe and makes his way to Hod who is just in the corner with a raincloud over his head- sulking. And Loki just pats Hod’s shoulder.

“Hey my good dude, I see you’re not having fun chucking random shit at that shiney freak.”

And Hod is like “duh I’m blind.”

And Loki is like “no fear my guileless pal- I will help you aim the spear.” And Hod who has no idea Loki has just crafted a spear from the one type of wood that can actually kill his brother- just beams excitedly, because FINALLY someone is helping him join in the festivities. So Loki stands behind him, helps him hold the spear and chucks it at Baldr.

Naturally the spear impales Baldr in the fucking gut, and everyone is just really quiet. Hod is beaming he’s so excited to have participated because he literally does not know any better.

Everyone starts screaming as Baldr falls over dead. Loki looks around and is like “I’m fuckin outtie.” And just evaporates like- peace nerds.

And Odin who is like all knowing realizes that Baldrs death triggers Ragnarok, the end of the world. Just Fucking kills Hod on the spot.

DESPITE THE FACT HE LITERALLY DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG. HE LITERALLY DID NOT KNOW.

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