arinextdoor - Tumblr blog

[arinextdoor]

I’ll try to describe her.

She is more than I desire.

When I SAW 👀 her, she lit soul my on fire 🔥.

I knew from then, we’d build an empire.

She is the closest thing to love in human form.

She is not afraid, she will weather any storm.

It’s nothing anyone did, it’s the way she was born.

She is unapologetically herself.

Ima be the one that takes her off the shelf.

Just because you have money doesn’t mean you have wealth.

I can taste her soul , I think it’s good for my health.

She is beautiful on the outside and the inside.

It pours out of her so much that she can’t hide.

I want her to ride but she doesn’t have to die.

I wouldn’t have it no way, I need her in my life.

I can tell already that I found my future wife.

If I can’t have her then my heart will go on strike.

It don’t gotta be today, nothing happens overnight.

When it comes to her, there’s nothing that I dislike.

The craziest part about this is, I never met her.

One things for sure, I can’t forget her.

I want her bad af, I fully accept her.

This started as a poem but it’s turned into a letter.

I’m happy for the future, we can storm the weather.

Not to put my foot in my mouth. I know you hate assumptions.

But I can feel it in my heart that we’re gonna be something.

My heart steady drumming.

I think this is more than just crushing.

She don’t have to feel the same, I’m not the one who’s rushing.

I haven’t met her yet but I believe in this, I’m trusting 🤞🏾.

I can stop writing at any time now.

But I got a craving, my stomach growled.

She’s on my mind and it’s peacefully loud.

[arinextdoor]

When they can’t look you in the eyes.

Most likely they’re full of lies.

There guilt eats them alive.

Everybody wanna ride but don’t nobody wanna die.

They shed fake tears when they cry.

They try to run but can’t hide.

I was colorblind to the red flags.

No matter what, you’d get a pass.

They suck you dry then they laugh.

God sees it all and you’ll feel his wrath.

I don’t gotta strike. I sit back and relax.

Let’s see, Where do I begin

You wasn’t loyal to the end.

You were never my friend.

Just full of lies and sin.

You know god to well to win.

I’m highly favored, that more than blessed.

Jesus is our savior, Ight bet, say less 👌🏾

-Ari j

[arinextdoor]

There is love after the pain

There is so much more to gain

There is sun after the rain

Stop ruining from me, stop switching lanes

I’m not no regular nigga, I’m not a lame

Stop fronting like I won’t have you screaming my name

Ima tell it to you straight girl, simple and plain

Every since that you left, I’ve been giving myself the blame

You made my heart smile, I was so happy that Into my life that you came

And every since then nothing has been the same

My heart is waiting patient but it’s all yours to for you to claim

I never got a house because my home is always with you

I could never stay persistent, I never seen things through

But dammit right now I’d do anything just to be with you

I know you need some time, it’s just you that I’m not tryna lose

It’s 4am and I’ll probably look like a fool if I send you this

But it seems like 2020 is ending anyways so I don’t give a shit

I hate that I’m sentimental but I poured my whole heart into it

Call me Jason Mraz because I won’t give up on us

Girl I’m on yo ass, but it’s not you that I’m trying to rush

I’m really not on trash but I think it it’s time for me to hush

I hope the ending made you laugh

P.S. I love you so much

[arinextdoor]

Acting like you are my enemy Ima keep that same energy Been there done that, distant memory Ain’t with that fake mess, stay clear of me Stay blessed not stressed, I’m drama free All work no play, it took a lot from me Not complaining, it was worth it Praise god all day, he deserves it The little voice inside your head, Ik you heard it Everything that you know, you should unlearn it From the way that you love All the stars up above Your own knowledge, don’t trust Made it up out of the mud Wasn’t easy, it was tough Can’t give up, it’s a must I can go on for hours about how demons devour your power Killer bees deflower the core of your tower No choice left but to empower Staying humble Don’t complain and mumble Or your world will crumble No regrets or mistakes, it’ll hunt you World wild out here, it’s a jungle Ain’t going down without a fight, get ready to rumble Basic girls getting lit wearing bundles Is you done or are you finished? Ain’t nowhere to run to

[arinextdoor]

Scrolling down my tumblr and seeing how hurt I was Rolling up L’s tryna think about what my purpose was I couldn’t help but wonder about it just because I think with my heart and I’m always filled with love A curse and a gift but it’s what I’m stuck with I’m not complaining at all because it’s God’s gift The universe energy doesn’t lie, we all shift I fell off my path but that’s okay, we all drift Be careful of who you’re involved with Lord knows that none of us are flawless Ppl forget to mention their true intentions Their time ran out, cut em off, no extensions PTSD, I really lost me and put my heart on suspension Aligning my chakras tryna reach a higher dimension Feels like the devil be winning, when all ppl doing is sinning A lot of ppl out for self Nobody cares about their health Just what’s the quickest way to wealth Wait I got too deep and I know it Idk if you were ready for it It’s my heart, I love to pour it I always keep em guessing But I hope you got the message Do right, receive the blessing I’m preaching but I’m no reverend -Arij

[arinextdoor]

🙏🏾

Such a lustful generation Seems like a godless nation Had a higher expectation Don’t put faith in man Let go & wash your hands God showed up but y’all ran Instead of going with his plan Seek the kingdom first and all things will be added on to you But y’all seek income & wonder why everything’s leaving you Worldly things are temporary but your soul is beautiful -Ari J

[arinextdoor]

Grow

Don’t pour unless you’re overflowing When you smile, you start glowing Keep doing you, I see you growing Have faith in God, keep those blessings flowing Getting over strongholds Be the person God molds Seeing answers unfold No story goes untold Seek the kingdom Earn your freedom Keep believing -Arij

[arinextdoor]

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Black guys have a different type of sawce

[arinextdoor]

let me cry for 2 minutes real quick, I’ll be a new bitch on the 3rd minute

[arinextdoor]

You never realize how alone you are until you’re in your darkest hour and have no one to turn to. Sometimes distractions aren’t enough. Reason to live are next to zero. Trying to find one seems impossible.

[arinextdoor]

Me

I’m too young to be this tired I’m too scared to pursue what I desire My heart is ashes falling down from the fire My head is a computer that needs to be rewired My feet is a map that leads you in circles My body is an empty vessel thats tired of doing hurtles My soul is slowly succumbing to the darkness Living in a world full of lies and harshness What is it to remain light Why do I have the need to do what’s right Is it me giving up without a fight I bring tremendous happiness to others And yet it’s myself who I still haven’t discovered I’m too busy hiding under the covers Voices in my head tell me “I’ll never be enough” “This is as good as it gets, tough luck” You cant ignore it You can’t run No where to escape The mouths of the voices, I’d love to tape They’d only rip it off, just to rip me up Not much time before I blow up Tried to drown it out, bottoms up Temporary relief For a lifetime of grief If I could be the beast The one that I unleash The demons, I would defeat I feel like I can’t breathe They’re always choking me Especially when I want to speak No one to tell that would believe

[arinextdoor]

Wait, when did my life fully fall apart? I guess I was too busy pretending it was okay and I didn’t see the last few pieces crumble down around me.

[arinextdoor]

[arinextdoor]

💔😔

I sometimes find myself thinking I can't wait to tell her about my day and then I remember That moment of realization The harsh feeling of reality I never could have imagined my life like this I often wish that this is just a dream and I'm gonna wake up next to her I tried not to think like that because all I do is make myself sad all over I smile and laugh around ppl But when I'm alone I cry I'd like to believe I was as strong as everyone thinks I am It's just not true I struggle everyday There are only so many things I can distract with But sooner or later she creeps back into my mind I think I'm scared that I really just lost my soulmate And nobody's ever gonna make me feel that way again And so I'll spend my life alone like I did before her To know that I failed I didn't just lose her Someone crept in like a thief in the night and stole her Days like these are the hardest for me When I'm feeling really honest And I'm no longer lying to myself And I have to face the truth I get this lump in my throat I can't talk I try to hold the tears back But they fall down like waterfalls I envisioned life being one way and it crumbled before my eyes I try to put the pieces back together but it was crumbling too fast Then I have to sit there and look at this giant mess on the ground and how it's destroyed What was once beautiful Just disintegrated before my eyes And I have nobody to talk to about it because I'll be judged How could you still love her How could you miss her You're stupid I don't think I can handle hearing that I can't explain why I feel like I do It upsets me because I'm tore up and she's moved on And still me knowing I tried my hardest I still find a way to blame myself I still try to come up with things I should have done differently This is truly the hardest thing I've ever had to go through Some days I'm okay And some days I'm not One of those days are today

[arinextdoor]

I want one person but she doesn't want me back

[arinextdoor]

Your truth is embedded in lies Idk if you even realize The hurt I feel inside A stab in the back A slit of the throat You set my soul on fire Burnt it to a crisp There's a whole bigger than what I can fix Was there something I missed How could this happen Just thrown into an abyss Tossed to the side like a dirty sock on the side of the bed You sleep so soundly not one care about the tears I shed I wanted to feel loved but you hurt me instead To have thought I found it but I was just misled At first I wanted her head I needed bloodshed All I saw was infrared I wanted her dead "I love you "were the words you said You said "I do" the day we wedd Our forever ended the day you got in her bed My future altered without my knowledge Your ex did you the same when she went to college The fact of you being in my shoes once before Is the biggest reason I have to close this door I know for a fact I deserve way more I suffered so much I can no longer endure Snapping back to reality There was only one true casualty The death of Ari, one sad tragedy That's just life, complete immorality This generations is on the rise of mortality Didn't feel bad then but have the audacity To say r.i.p now That's just wow Everyone's for themselves All about you, but nothing else? You say what sounds right to you I found out but not from you, the truth was overdue Won't fall for one more lie, because it's you that I see through Your childish ways is what I outgrew You murdered me and overkilled But I resurrected, power and will I'm a new woman, stronger than ever I'll never say never but I'll think twice next time I agree to forever You can plan a pretty picnic but you can't predict the weather I wish you the best I hope she makes you happy or whatever Learn from the past, proceed , do better Don't worry about me because the me you knew is gone It's nothing to dwell on Just time for me to move on -AriJ

[arinextdoor]