arminkirschtien - Tumblr blog

arminkirschtien · 4 years

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I'm in an Kenuri\Uriken mood, so I wrote this happy little fluff ramble thingy for smiles in these hard times:

(TRIGGER WARNINGS: DEPRESSION/SELF HARM)

Quickly walking out of the store with his hat down, the blonde man lightly jogged to his car as the rain outside picked up, his church clothes getting wet and almost uncomfortable to wear.

Unlocking his car he hobbled in, leaning back with a deep sigh of relief.

Nobody saw him.

He placed a bright orange bag in the passenger side seat of his car, hearing the plastic rumble with the rain outside falling heavier and heavier. He almost felt as if he could fall asleep in the rain, the soft white noise reminding him of the sounds he listens to at night to try and get some sleep.

He shot his eyes open hearing a small gurgle in his back seat, his breath catching in his throat before he remembered.

"Ah, see, that wasn't long, now was it?" Uri spoke to the toddler behind him, a pale, ravenette baby boy with sharp, yet rounded silver eyes. "I told you I wouldn't leave you here alone for long, I would never do that to you. Your mother would have my head on a silver plate."

The young boy didn't understand a word he said, still sitting in the back, biting on a teething toy despite him being well passed the age of teething, he has teeth now for heavens sake! God, time is passing by...

Uri ran his fingers down the skin underneath his eye left eye, looking out the window to see his foggy reflection.

Time is passing by too quickly...and it's showing.

"Let's get you home, your mommy should be there to pick you up in an hour or so." He kept speaking to the baby, reciting everything not because the child understands him, but more or less so Uri remembers this all himself.

"Then you'll meet a new friend! You have a playdate!" Uri grinned pulling out of the parking lot, finally looking back to see a small smile on the toddlers face. Putting his old, silver car into drive he cautiously danced his way put of the crowded parking lot, the rain making it harder to see.

"You have a play date with kids around your age, your mommy was so excited finding other single parents with kids around your age. You'll have so much fun, meeting people is such a fun thing. You're growing up, so school is also right around the corner," he kept having a relaxing conversation with the black haired toddler in the backseat. "They'll be with you in school, you guys will have so much fun, I promise."

Pulling into a normal neighborhood home, he parked in the driveway and quickly made his way inside with Levi in his arms, yawning, the rain also making the poor boy tired.

"Let's get you inside, you want to nap before your playdate?" He asked the boy in his arm, and he felt a soft nod against his shoulder, Uri kicking the front door shut, the small orange bag in his hands. He cooed, removing his and the toddler's shoes before stepping foot onto their house carpet. He saw he was the only one home.

Perfect.

"Alright, let's get you into bed for a nap." He whispered to the ravenete, opening the spare guest bedroom. "I know you like it here, because you get your very own big-kid bed. The blankets are clean and I washed them with your favorite smelling soap."

The toddler smiled, yawning again as that familiar scent of lavender takes over his other senses, lulling him to sleep before Uri could even put him on the bed. He tucked him in, turning the room light off and shutting the blinds as he left the room. He kept the door slightly ajar encase something went wrong and he had to be there quick.

Uri walked down the plain hallway, the only thing that decorated its walls were a few pictures that meant a lot to the family, like a photo of his baby niece, born not too long ago.

He finally entered his bedroom, shutting the door behind him as quietly as he could. As he looked around the room, he saw no one was there, the only other thing in their was his pet cat, Judas, laying sprawled out on the bed.

The cat pricked his sharp ears up to look over at his owner, his sleek, slim, sharp eyes glaring into Uri's around, soft ones. He smiled.

"Sorry to wake you, your highness." He smiled, going over to pet his feline friend, getting a stretch and a soft pur. "I see the rain has you sleepy too, I would love to lay down and snuggle with you, but I got something very important today that I've been wanting to get for a while."

His cat, a bit more intelligent than Uri ever would have guessed possible for a cat, quirked his head to the side and looked at Uri's orange bag. The man sighed, his smile falling, his eyes almost fading in color after the shifts of moods changed.

Sitting by a neat, cleaned and organized vanity on Uri's side of the room, he pulled a small, round pot out. It was only an inch in width and in height, a clear pot with a sleek black lid that you turned to open. The product inside looked similar to Uri's own skin tone, angelic pale with a cool undertone that was almost glowing.

He has been told many times he was beautiful. By his mother, his father, his friends, his first lover before the broke up, strangers on the street. Uri got the best Riess family genes in that sense. Light, almost cool ash blonde hair with eyes so blue the sky could turn green in envy. Soft, pushed up button noses with round, soft features that make them look forever young.

But everyone knows, nothing is forever.

It's been quiet recently in the house, Uri being left alone more often then usual, and it's been going on for 7 months now. He would wake up alone with the other side of the bed either cold, or taken over by a fluffy monster, unhappy to be awoken.

He would eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner alone with the occasional texts of 'things got pushed back, staying late' or 'another late night' or, if he was lucky, a 'sorry I'll be late, I'll make it up to you'.

But nothing has been done to make it up to him.

Desperate for an answer, Uri did what he usually did, and talk with his family. His mother and father were just saying he was over reacting, that this is how life is when you're dating a busy man. Though...what his brother said hit him like a brick to the face.

"Maybe it's because you're lookin' a little ahead of time there, Uri." His brother had said to him a month ago, his wife sitting with him on the couch drinking tea and chatting, ignoring her husband as others asked about how close she was to giving birth.

"What do you mean?" He had asked him, Uri tucking a small strand of hair behind his ears. His brother only rolled his eyes, pointing to his own under eyes.

"You're starting to get wrinkles under your eyes, you look forever tired and 55." He had grumbled, pointing out a few other things. But Uri stopped and thought about it.

He went home, and looked in a mirror.

He was right.

After Levi, the toddler he's watching over now was born, his mother was suddenly very busy, being a single mom working two jobs had her running everywhere, and with no one left to help her baby, of course her family was there with open arms.

Though it dragged Uri down as much as it lifted him up. He wanted kids so badly, he wanted to adopt a boy, or a girl, or anyone, he wanted to teach them to read, to write, to sing, to dance-

He had names listed in his journal, page after page after page after page of names, things he would love them to do. He always loved little ones, always loved watching them grow up in a happy, loving household with two parents that would go to the moon and back for them.

Though, it all came to a screeching halt.

"I could never be a father, I'm just not fit for it."

Uri had never cried so hard in his life, and what made matters even worse, it added onto his test results at the doctors years ago, with his first lover, heading into the doctors office only to hear those chilling, heart breaking words.

"I'm sorry Mr. Reiss, you can't biologically have kids, all tests came back negative."

To this day it breaks him, and holding Levi in his arms adds to the weight. Yet he can't just say he can't watch over Levi because he's jealous he can't have kids, his mother would be heartbroken. It's not her fault.

Though, now with the stress of babysitting, and the thoughts of him again to quickly had toppled down, and he finally went looking for something to help.

His mother had bought stuff like this back in the day, and he would be a liar if he said he never played with it. It's a cosmetic product called concealer, you can use it to cover up anything on your face within reason. He saw people using it to hide wrinkles and dark circles, so he thought he should give it a try.

He's really hit his tipping point, hasn't he? Uri is desperate enough to still hold some sort of joy in his life, even if it means lying to his partner about his looks so he can feel beautiful and young again.

He felt his eyes tear up, looking at the small container in his hands. Before any could fall, he dabbed his shirt sleeve at his eyes, looking in the mirror one last time before giving in. He let a tear fall down his face, his eyes never leaving his reflection.

His brother was right. All of this has physically aged him so quickly. He can't bear it any more, crunching his shoulders together as he sniffled, a few more tears falling down his face as Uri gave in to his depression, his heart breaking at his own reflection. He couldn't bear to look at himself anymore.

"I can't do this anymore," he whispered to himself, his hands shaking so much he ends up dropping the small container onto the floor, his hands grabbing and pulling at his upper arm, hugging himself as if he wanted there to be a shield around him.

"I-I don't want to live like this," he shuttered, "Please...make it stop..."

"You know I would if I could."

Uri snapped his head around to see Kenny was standing at the bedroom door way, his shoes off, showing he was staying home. Uri spun around in his chair, shocked and surprised.

"Y-You're not suppose to be home just yet." The blonde tried clearing his throat, though it sounded more like a rough whimper. "I thought you didn't get off work until 10?"

Kenny took his hat off, placing it on a dresser before he hung up his coat on a hanger by their bedroom door. "Ah, guess you were so busy crying you forgot what today is?"

Uri pulled back, his finger on his chin, deep in thought. Though his mind was so cloudy and foggy, full of his depressing thoughts, he couldn't think of anything but those.

Kenny looked up and down at his partner, knowing this side of him all too well. It was a side of Uri that wasn't threatening, but it was dangerous, and he should never be left alone like this. He gets depressed, and it leads into a quick spiral that's gotten so deep before...Kenny truly didn't know what to do. He remembers sitting on the kitchen floor, himself almost in tears as he saw Uri on the tile floor, his wrists and inner arms bleeding out, the flow never stopping no matter how much pressure Kenny used.

It was a horrifying night, Kenny spent every last second he could in that hospital room with him, telling the doctors all he knew. They were just friends at the time, no older than 21, it was the day Uri's girlfriend had left him because he couldn't have kids.

It's never gotten worse than that, but it's gotten pretty damn close. And if Kenny knows anything about the man in front of him, it's that right now, he needs him more than anything.

"I-I'm sorry, I don't remember-" Uri's voiced cracked, his tears still falling down his face. Uri didn't look back up until he felt two strong arms lift him up, one behind his back and the other under his bottom.

"K-Kenny what is the devil's name are you-" the blonde confusingly glared at Kenny before he was silenced with dry, yet familiar lips against his, and he couldn't help but role his eyes back, flutter them shut and cup Kenny's cheeks.

He can't remember the last time they kissed like this, months ago, obviously, but this felt different. Uri felt suddenly warm despite the cold rain outside their window, the soft pattering of the rain was mixed with heavy breaths as both men tried to kiss without breathing.

The taller of the two pulled back first, leaning their foreheads together softly, Uri's tears finally coming to a halt.

"I was driving right behind you when we got home, I was going to surprise you, but it looks like you never noticed me." Kenny began, Uri listening as he threaded his fingers through Kenny's jet black hair. He still looks as young as he did when we were in highschool. Uri thought, thinking it was just an Ackerman trait.

"I came in, and I kept hearing you talk to Levi, talk to Judas, and I was waiting for the right moment to surprise you- until I heard you breaking down."

Url felt guilty, Kenny didn't need to watch over him like a hawk, but damn is he glad Kenny was there, and that he's here, with him, Uri being picked up like he weight nothing, being held against a wall, protected from the outside world.

"Look at me," Kenny spoke softly, out of character for him, so much so Uri looked up in surprise, only to see his partner staring back at him.

"I'm sorry I haven't been here for you. You've been going through a lot." He started, Uri humming, agreeing with what he's saying, moving to leave soft kisses on Kenny's cheeks and jawline. "I promise you, work has been crazy, since multiple people were fired, and until my boss decides to hire new people, I'm taking over for them."

"A sooner explanation would have been nice." Uri groaned, so not his kind of attitude unless you really know the man, and Kenny has been with Uri since day one.

"I know... That's entirely my fault." Kenny rolled, his eyes, leaning in to kiss Uri again, the blonde, of course, letting it happen.

"Though-" Kenny spoke between kisses, biting the bottom of Uri's lip. He pulled off a grinned when he saw Uri shiver. "What did you get? And why were you so concerned about it?"

Uri took a breath, looking down on the carpet to see the small container of cream, his smile fading.

"I-I thought you were avoiding me on purpose...so I tried to figure out why..." Uri's cheeks flushed red. "I asked my brother for advice, and he said you were avoiding me because I was starting to get wrinkles under my eyes."

It was silent for a few seconds, Uri dreadfully nervous, Kenny's expression blank, until a small, yet noticeable dust of pink covered his cheeks.

"I-I, Uri, you know you didn't need to do that." Kenny started, leaving a small kiss under Uri's eye. "First of all, never ask your brother for advice."

There was a small chuckle from Uri.

"Second, no, I'm going to be completely honest with you here," Kenny made sure he was looking Uri in the eyes. "I didn't even notice you had them, and even super up close they're hard to see, your skin is still smooth, so it's hard to see. And even if you did have a few wrinkles- it's not going to matter."

Hearing those words pushed Uri's fears away with one quick sweep, relief taking over his entire body. He relaxed in Kenny's arms, the taller of the two seeing him relax, which had them kissing again.

"Were only 26, we're both still so young, Uri." Kenny spoke, this time Uri was the one nipping at Kenny's lip. "You're not getting old, I'm not getting old, we have so much time, especially once I get my normal job back."

Uri smiled, which made Kenny smile back, and with a bit less in their minds, they start nipping and licking at each other's lips, soft, teasing little bites that leave both of them giggling and laughing at each other.

"And, while we're still young," Kenny turned around, flopping Uri on the bed, crawling over him with a wicked smile as he undid his tie with one hand. Uri licking his lips.

"Let's use up that energy, shall we?"

(Might continue this, idk, I love these two so much it's insane ahhHHH I love writing younger Kenuri, writing about them most likely being young, stupid and in love)

#i guess i can tag uriken or kenuri right?#kenuri #uriken #urireiss #uri x kenny #kenny x uri #uri reiss #kenny aot #kenny ackerman #attackontitan #attack on titan

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