arsenicpanda

[arsenicpanda]

Dynamics I would've loved to see in Naruto, in no particular order

Sasuke and Temari in a low-stakes combat team-up, mostly played for laughs. I just really want to see her use her Giant Fucking Fan to power up Sasuke’s fire attacks to comedic levels of Too Much™. Would they have chemistry? Most likely no. Is the idea still hilarious to me? Hell yes it is. Although I can see both of them enjoying the ensuing chaos/horrified shock in their own ways.

Lee and Omoi team-up. The megaphone of the Power of Youth™ with the sentient anxiety disorder is, again, very fucking funny in my head, especially with how they would annoy everyone around them from completely opposite directions.

Kabuto being jealous and petty towards Sasuke for stealing Orochimaru's attention. Like he knows Orochimaru is just trying to get the Sharingan but also Orochimaru was his master first not Sasuke's but goddamn pretty boy gets everything he wants, doesn't he?

Sasuke and Shino friendship. They had A Vibe going during the Konoha Crush arc and it's a shame we never got to see it again.

Sakura and Kiba meddling while trying to get Hinata and Naruto together. Half the time they'd be at each other's throats and the other half they'd take turns holding each other off from pounding Naruto for doing something stupid.

Ino and Naruto (andHinataMyPoorBabyGirl). Same thing as Sakura and Kiba but for getting Sakura and Sasuke together. Except now Hinata is involved due to her proximity to Naruto and she has to keep both of these Loud Blonde Idiots in line. God help her when Sai decides to get involved.

Sakura, Tenten, and Lee as a genin team(definitely going more into AU territory here but whatever). Not a single ninja nepo baby in sight, all hard work and skill, no genetic or inherited skill.

Sakura and Karin comforting each other after the Five Kage Summit arc. Sakura deserves more girl friends and nothing brings girls together quite like talking shit about men. It just would've been so sweet and maybe even a little gay to see them work through their feelings together.

Kiba and Naruto friendship. I think it speaks for itself. Barely half a brain cell between the two of them. The antics they would get up to. The people they would piss off. The migraine medication Sakura would be dependent on while keeping them from getting into too much trouble. It can be so personal, y'know?

Kakashi and a therapist. 'Nuff said.

The Mizukage's boot and my sternum

[arsenicpanda]

So uh I finished reading El Torero an Akimitsu fic by LadyCheshire25 and the last chapter had me kicking my feet 😳

Basically this fanart is inspired by it. CW: Slight smut ⚠️

Please go read LadyCheshire25's works guys, all quality content 😩👌

[arsenicpanda]

Roommates or fake dating please???

Fake Dating Roommates AU

Betty’s not sure if there’s proper etiquette for asking your roommate if he’d pretend to be your live-in boyfriend when your parents come to visit, but she’s going to try her best anyway.

Because that’s the Cooper way, after all. She’d been taught from a young age that you’re always polite, you try your hardest, you follow the rules, you go above and beyond. Betty has grown up in a paced out world of 4.0 GPAs and graduating with honours. Of marrying young and popping out perfectly turned out children in the suburbs. Manicured lawns and weekend cookouts and PTA meetings. All done with a blindingly perfect smile.

It’s what her sister, Polly, had done. She’d married her high school sweetheart right out of college. And it didn’t hurt that he was the heir to a maple syrup fortune, either. They’d had a baby within the year and now Betty gets sent personalised holiday cards depicting handmade Pinterested decorations and matching outfits on the front.

Polly had followed the plan laid out by their parents, pretty much to the letter. Which made the contrast in Betty’s life decisions all the more startling obvious.

A Cooper was not supposed to drop out of Columbia to take some time to breathe. They were not supposed to get a menial job in retail for several years, or share an apartment in the city with a guy they found on Craigslist. And they definitely weren’t supposed to be unmarried, let alone not even be in a serious relationship, by the time they were twenty-five.

Even under the ploy of a city break, Betty knows her mom scheduled this visit to come and convince her to change her perilous ways before it’s ‘too late’. She’d managed to get away with the routine holiday visits over the years, but this was the first time Alice must’ve felt desperate enough to come and scout out Betty’s situation for herself. Not that there was a situation to be scouted, in her opinion.

It’s the thought of all the regular questions, at an unscheduled time of the year, that has her considering what she’s considering right now. The phone call she’d just ended with her mom had set her blood to a slow simmer. Unsubtle hints, plentiful jibes, and an undercurrent of plans to set Betty up with the Peterson’s boy she’s never met when she comes home for Thanksgiving all mounted to Betty glancing at Jughead out of the corner of her eye every three seconds for the last half hour.

For a guy from the internet, finding Jughead’s apartment listing was something of a diamond in the rough situation. He was intelligent, quiet, and just opinionated enough to enter into the occasional verbal sparring match when the mood takes it. Their cohabitation over the past four years has been relatively painless, with exceptions for that time he watched the new Game of Thrones episode without telling her and spoiled the ending. But that was easily fixed with a flexible viewing schedule and a trade off for snack provider.

It hadn’t honestly crossed Betty’s mind to ever look at him as something other than her perfectly pleasant roommate. Until this phone call, that is.

He’s handsome enough, she guesses. He’s got that floppy curl to his hair that is universally considered attractive. Clean, angular features, a tall frame. She watches him type, eyes following the way his slender fingers fly over the keyboard. He’s got that dry sense of humour that easily matches her own, and he’s always really complimentary of her cooking—

“Betts, I can practically feel the question you want to ask radiating from over there. What gives?” Jughead asks without looking up from his screen. Betty goes hot all over, realising he’d noticed her staring, clearing her throat a few times and shifting so she can tuck her feet beneath her.

“Well… You know my parents are coming to visit this week,” she starts, wondering at what point she’ll come up with a cover story.

“Yeah, you mentioned it. Looking forward to it?”

It’s an innocent enough question, but Betty places more thought into consciously uncurling her fingers than in her reply. She shrugs it off easily. “They’re excited to see the city.”

Jughead glances up then, a flash of something registering in his eyes that has Betty glancing away and shifting her position again for something to do. “So what’s up?”

Would you like to go for dinner with us? My parents still worry sometimes so are you okay with meeting them officially? Is it alright if we have the apartment to ourselves Friday night while they’re here? Do you know any hole in the wall places I can take them—

“Would you be my boyfriend for the week?”

It’s none of the alternative questions she’d been listing in her head, yet it slips out anyway, hangs thickly in the air between them. Betty thinks, with some amusement, if Jughead had been drinking he would have done a spit take. His neck goes a startling shade of red, a strangled sort of noise escaping him, and Betty wishes the armchair would just swallow her whole.

“What?” It comes out sounding choked.

Betty flounders to explain. “Just pretend, I mean.” She lets out a weighty sigh, her shoulders sagging. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to ask you it’s just— I just got off the phone with my mom and it’s clear the only reason she planned this trip in the first place is to try and get me to realise I’ve totally screwed up her life plan for me, and that I should just come home and marry the pre-approved soccer dad they’ve picked out for me. And I just thought that maybe if she believed I was in a relationship already it might take some of the heat off, or stop the incessant questions about when I’m going to consider settling down, or, I don’t know I just—“

“Betty.” She looks up quickly at the soft sound of Jughead’s voice. His expression is unreadable, but there’s something around the corners of his eyes that make them difficult to look at for too long.

“Sorry. I— Sorry,��� she mumbles, blinking rapidly against the ridiculous tears that are threatening to appear.

“Hey, you don’t need to explain the crazy parents thing to me—believe me, I get it,” he adds with a roll of his eyes. His tone makes her want to find out more, but he’s already continuing. “You shouldn’t have to perform to some kind of ridiculous standards of life just to please other people, let alone the people who should support you no matter what.”

This is it, she thinks. This is where he says no and asks me to start looking for new listings so he can get a less insane roommate.

“But if my pretending to be your boyfriend in any way makes this visit easier for you, then of course I’ll do it.”

Betty looks up so quickly it takes a moment for her eyes to refocus. “What? Really? I mean, it’s a ridiculous request and you can take more time to think it over or whatever.” Jughead’s already chuckling by the time she’s through.

“It’s not a big deal. I’ll do it. Just… brief me on the things I should probably know before they get here. Can’t have them thinking I’m a lousy boyfriend,” he teases, already turning back to his laptop.

Betty’s head is still reeling but she manages to assure him she will anyway. “Just by agreeing I think that already puts you at the top of my boyfriend list,” she jokes, swallowing around a still-dry throat. Her pulse is only just starting to slow, and already she’s mentally preparing a catalogue of things for him to learn, even while the more rational part of her brain is still telling her this is an insane idea.

Jughead’s quiet for a minute, his stilled hands over the keyboard the only indication he’s still listening. When he replies, his voice is quiet. “Good to know.”

[arsenicpanda]

And The Sun Will Rise

(Read from RIGHT to LEFT)

This is actually the first time I draw P3 Akihiko and Mitsuru as a couple lol😂

They're dating here but they're still very new at it🤭 (iirc the P3WM had a similar scene- minus the dating- where they promised to each other to survive the final fight and this is a reference to it)

[arsenicpanda]

Jughead writes fanfiction. Betty finds it :D

If Betty hadn’t slammed the laptop shut, Jughead wouldn’t have questioned the sight of his girlfriend sitting at his bedroom desk, nor what she was using his computer for.

But she had.

So he does.

“Hey. Sorry I’m late. Did my dad let you in?”

“J.B.” Betty twists around in her seat and smiles – that sweet, disarming smile that he knows and loves (and maybe sometimes sort of fears) so well.

“Let me just change real quick and we can go.” Jughead tosses his backpack onto the bed and begins to unbutton his shirt. He nods towards the desk. “Whatcha doing?”

Betty blinks up at him with wide, innocent eyes. “I needed to check a source for my history paper.”

Jughead nods, watching her, waiting for her to break. Betty’s a good liar – a quality he’s always found reassuring when they’re knee-deep in an investigation, but less so when it’s turned around on him. Thankfully, those occasions have become increasingly rare over the last two years of dating.

Sure enough, the silence stretches on too long for Betty to bear, and her lips curl up into an involuntary smile. “Okay, fine. I was going to check a source and then I got distracted.” One perfectly shaped eyebrow arches up, and Jughead’s pulse begins to race as he grabs a clean button-down from the closet.  

None of the porn on his laptop is that weird, and Betty’s aware of its existence, anyway. A quick mental scan of his last week of web browsing brings up nothing more scandalous than a deep dive into cute photos of cats without tails. (They were called Manx cats, and he’d been delighted to discover that they existed, even if the source of this knowledge was Veronica’s announcement that her father had purchased her a purebred kitten as some sort of bribe and/or peace offering. Jughead was firmly in the adopt-don’t-shop camp.)  

So it’s not his porn, and it’s not his search history. Which means there’s only one thing hidden in the bowels of his laptop Betty could have stumbled upon that’s truly, deeply embarrassing.

“Jug, are you writing fanfiction?”

He manages to splutter a single word: “No.”

It takes about 2.5 seconds for her look of skepticism to wear him down. “It’s…no. Technically, yes. But it’s just a writing exercise.”

Betty tilts her head. “It’s fifty thousand words.”

It really had started out that way: a silly twenty-minute exercise in his creative writing class, to rewrite an ending he’d found lacking. The Game of Thrones finale had aired only a few days prior, and he’d been pleasantly surprised to find that correcting its many, many wrongs on paper was far more enjoyable than bitching about it with strangers on Reddit.

After school, he’d returned home, typed it up…and continued to write it.

And then, without really knowing why, posted it online.

To her credit, Betty appears more intrigued by his retelling than disgusted or amused. “I read some of the comments people left you,” she admits. “They really love your writing!”

He waves a hand dismissively. “They don’t love my writing. They love wish fulfillment.”

“Someone specifically said they love your characterization.”

He thinks he knows which comment she’s referring to. It had been one of the things that inspired him to keep going, and turn this throwaway classroom prompt into a novella-length monster with no end in sight.

Writing the fanfic was just so much more satisfying than slogging away at his novel had become. Sure, there were plenty of one-word demands for “more”, and a fair share of commenters begging him to write a sex scene between Gendry and Arya, who weren’t even the focus of the story. Everyone also seemed to have the impression that he was a girl.

But there were some gems in there too – readers offering insightful, detailed feedback. And, though he was loathe to admit he cared about it: praise.

“You didn’t read the whole thing, did you?” He steels himself for the word yes, but Betty shakes her head.

“Just the first chapter so far.”

“Okay, well…please don’t?”

Her face falls, and Jughead feels a pang in his chest – he hates to hurt Betty’s feelings. “It’s not you, it’s…I’m going to feel self-conscious about what I write now if I know you’re reading it.”

“Juggie, I love your writing.” Betty leans forward, clasping his hand between hers.

He squeezes back, offering her a soft smile.

Betty checks her phone in her lap and frowns. “We should get going, I don’t want to miss the previews.” She stands and slips her purse over her shoulder, tugging at his hand. “I promise I won’t read anymore.”

“Thank you.”

“I mean, I get it.” With a shrug, she turns for the door. “I’d probably feel really awkward if you’d read any of my Braime smut.”

Jughead freezes for a split second, and then stumbles after her, hastily buttoning up his shirt. “Your what?”

(send me prompts! any prompts!)

[arsenicpanda]

Friends

[arsenicpanda]

congrats on 1000 followers, you very aptly-named lovely person! I would love a pre-canon Betty and Jughead ficlet. Betty in her Nancy Drew phase? Betty trying and failing to get a baby-sitters club? Jughead first realizing he like-likes her?

It’s not unusual to see Betty Cooper standing outside of Archie’s house. She lives next door; they’re friends. It’s a beautiful, sunny summer day – one that even Jughead can admit should be spent outdoors, even as he plans to spend the afternoon holed up in Archie’s bedroom playing video games.

No, what’s unusual is the fact that she’s got an enormous pair of binoculars pressed to her face, pointed in the direction of the cul-de-sac down the street, where police tape has been strung up around the perimeter of a house with green shutters. Two cop cars are parked outside, but there’s only one officer in sight, leaning against the hood of his car, smoking a cigarette.

A familiar sensation tickles at the base of Jughead’s skull – he’s intrigued. “What’s going on?”

Startled, Betty bumps the binoculars against her brow, and then drops them. They don’t go far, as she’s got the strap slung around her neck. “Ow!”

“Sorry.” Jughead stops beside her on the sidewalk. “What are you doing?”

“Investigating.”

Jughead looks at Betty, and then back at the taped-off house. “All the way from here?”

“Are you here to see Archie?” she asks, ignoring the question. “He just got a pizza delivered, you should go inside before he eats it all.”

His stomach grumbles at the mere mention of food. All he’d had to eat for lunch was scrambled eggs, which was also what he’d eaten for breakfast – his mom had worked a double shift last night and hadn’t had time to go grocery shopping. He’d let Jellybean have the last of the frozen waffles.

Yet every bone in his body is inexplicably screaming at him to stay out here with Betty.

“Archie can’t eat a whole pizza.” And even if he does, there will inevitably be another frozen one he can just pop in the oven – Archie’s dad has kept the freezer well-stocked ever since Mrs. Andrews moved to Chicago at the beginning of the year. “Tell me more about…” He gestures broadly at the house. “This.”

Betty stares at him for a moment, and then the firm line of her mouth softens, as though she’s recognized a kindred spirit. “I don’t know what happened,” she admits. “We just heard sirens going by about a half hour ago, and then a bunch of cops went into the house.”

Jughead’s brain buzzes with possibility. “D’you think it could have been, like…a murder?”

“That’s what I said!” Betty’s face lights up with excitement, and something about it makes Jughead’s stomach feel weird and fluttery. Probably just the fact that there might be an actual mystery brewing a half-block away from where they stand. Or the fact that he really is hungry. “Archie said I was being overdramatic.” She rolls her eyes.

“Can I see?” He holds out a hand for the binoculars, and Betty obliges, tugging the strap over her head. As she does, he gets a whiff of her scent: sunscreen and soap and something vaguely floral. It’s pleasant.

Jughead studies the house for a minute or so before turning back to her. “Do they have a fence around their backyard, or does it just run into the woods back there?”

A slow smile creeps over her face. “I’m not sure.”

He hands the binoculars back with a shrug. “Only one way to find out.”

“What about your pizza?”

“I like it better cold, anyway.” Jughead nods towards the edge of the forest behind them. “Adventure awaits.”

(send me a prompt! any prompt!)

[arsenicpanda]

all i did the past week was cry over jjk

[arsenicpanda]

Confession

[arsenicpanda]

nightmarish reality.

(swipe to read)

[arsenicpanda]

You can't tell me she wasn't the cool babysitter for at least some time

[arsenicpanda]

Perhaps he was just overprotective; after all, he’d always looked after the women in his life, no matter what the cost was. He’d done his best to make sure JB had gotten through high school and college and into a world far away from Sunnyside, full of encouragement and praise and long nights of cram sessions. He’d picked up the slack around the house and the chop shop and the underground Jingle Jangle ring so that his mom went for her GED and later her welding certifications.

So it only came naturally that he’d be there for his best friend, through thick and thin. A shoulder to cry on, always there to listen to her problems. A helping hand for all those small, and large, things that came up. A bulldozer to push through those obstacles standing in her way. He loved her, was in love with her, and would be there for her no matter what.

And if a terrible boyfriend or girls, or two or three, went missing, well. No one would really miss them. Bad people weren’t often cried after for long.

Betty’s latest boyfriend, a leathered up clown in leather going by the name of Malachi, breaks her heart, and her arm, Jughead is ready and willing to make sure he disappears just like all the other terrible boyfriends.

So when he shows up to Malachi’s basement apartment, he’s stunned to find that Betty’s already taken care of the problem. But it doesn’t take him long to give her a helping hand.

After all, what’s disposing of a dead body between friends?

[arsenicpanda]

Artober day 1: Sashisu cuddles [teacher au]

[arsenicpanda]

The Muppets as Goncharov (1973)

the only goncharov remake I want is a muppets version

[Image description: Gifs of the muppets with edited captions.

1 - Kermit, wearing a suit, says, "Yes, I am Goncharov."

2 - Several ticking clocks on a wall

3 - Miss Piggy and Kermit kiss, while Miss Piggy says, "Of course, we're in love; that's why I tried to shoot you."]

[arsenicpanda]

Shitpost Sunday

[arsenicpanda]

Something about FNAF 3 and Fazbear Frights taking place in 2023 in our current social media landscape