ash-bakes

[ash-bakes]

“I hide my tears when I say your name, but the pain in my heart is still the same. Although I smile and seem carefree, there is no one who misses you more than me.”

-Unknown

[ash-bakes]

You Were My Friend

I was traveling in the Bay Area. You told me about this underground Burner party in Oakland. You said we could crash at your place afterwards, so I convinced my road dog to join us. He and I ate some acid and had a pretty fun night.

After the party, we headed back to your place. We stayed up on your back patio, smoking weed, listening to music and watching crazy videos on your laptop. I was coming down from my trip. My body was tired, but my mind was still racing. You and I moved into your room, got in your bed, still with the music and videos. But after a while, you were tired and closed the laptop. You kissed me, and I was okay with that. But when you started to put your hand down my pants, I said no. You seemed fine about it and asked if I wanted to make out. I said sure. It was just kissing. I was okay with that. Then you did it again, only this time I didn't stop you. Couldn't stop you. I was frozen. In fear? Shock? I don't know. But you had sex with me that night, after I had said no.

You were my friend. You gave me a place to stay, so I owed you, right?

Last night, I was in the car with my boyfriend and a friend. They were ordering food at the drive thru. I read a post that triggered a flashback. That whole night played over in my mind. I sat there, in shock, as tears filled my eyes.

It took me three and a half years to realize, to admit that I was sexually assaulted that night.

[ash-bakes]

[ash-bakes]

It’s fucking prison camps holding 1,400 children. that’s fascism. 

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i just need a hug(e amount of money)

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I'm at a point in my life where my depression wants me to just go to sleep forever, but my anxiety is keeping me awake. So here's a picture of a time when I was happy, to remind myself that this feeling won't last forever and I can reach that happiness again. I hope any of you struggling with the thoughts in your head know that it can get better. Help is out there. You are so loved, even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes. And for what it's worth, I'm happy you're still here. 💜 Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

[ash-bakes]

Pretend ur invasive self hating thoughts r being said to u by a 13 y/o boy on xbox live trying to get a rise out of you like “Your girlfriend dumped you because you’re ugly” that’s nice tim isn’t it past ur bedtime

[ash-bakes]

Here is your daily friendly reminder to support your local small internet artists by following these simple steps:

Turning off “Best stuff first” on the tumblr app, it’s in the account settings under Dashboard Preferences

Reblogging, instead of liking and moving on: Especially now with the new bullshit tumbr rolled out, its more important than ever to not only like something you see and like. No-one is gonna see your likes, only through reblogging an artist’s work will be shared with as many people as possible.

This has been a PSA, thank you and good night

[ash-bakes]

is it just me or is sister moon extra potent lately ? i meant to make a post on the new moon but it kicked me around too much emotionally. moon dark is normally my most comfortable and in tune time of the lunar cycle. introspection, journaling, talking to my cards, cleansing and planning are all tasks that vibe with me easily. and then the full moon comes around and i face my challenges — manifesting, completion, extroversion. i’m a sound sleeper but full moon can make it more difficult and dreams are vivid and strange. this new moon was useful and beautiful but felt too much like it’s polar opposite (in a weird, backwards way) for me to be at ease. good, ofcourse. got some crying out of my system. let go of a few ideas and started to cultivate alternatives. thankyou moon it was rough but i’m grateful. . . illustration from a while back. i will be creating moon and astrology related projects throughout autumn and winter as they are, for me, reminders of the divine feminine and the soft but firm power we need in this world to turn the dominant tides of greed and hatred. all that is based in fear so i believe grounding and connecting is more important than ever. moon power baby. {{this illustration is on the tote bags in my shop ! }}

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my dad posted this on facebook and i’m dying

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Is he for real 😳 Like damn ✊🏿 Black Excellence

[ash-bakes]

Hey fraaands! I had my second post-op appointment today. Doc says my eyes are healing up well. They removed the "bandages" today. My vision is still pretty blurry, but apparently good enough to drive during the day according to the doctor. Definitely no night driving yet, unless I suddenly get night vision super powers. I'm choosing not to drive during the day yet mostly because I don't feel comfortable enough with my current vision, but also because I'm still pretty light sensitive. Wearing my super awesome (*eyeroll*) sunglasses pretty much everywhere, even inside stores that are too bright haha. Had some stinging pain Monday and Tuesday, kind of like I'd been swimming with my eyes open in a pool. But other than that, any pain felt has been manageable. I haven't had to use the pain or sleep meds I was prescribed, which is rad because I really don't like taking meds like that. They don't make me feel good at all. I'm still using prescription eye drops. One is an antibiotic, which is almost finished. The other is for swelling and irritation, which I have to take until the doctor says otherwise. I'm also using artificial tears every hour that I'm awake for dry eyes, which I have experienced since the day of my surgery (extremely common and pretty much expected). So other than some minor pain and dry eyes, all is well! I have another appointment in about two weeks to check my progress, so I'll update again afterwards. 😊😘 #prk #correctiveeyesurgery #update

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MY GUTS 😂😂😂 #gofalcons #superbowl #superbowlsunday

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It's going downnnn #tamales #superbowl #superbowlsunday #gofalcons

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It's going downnnn #tamales #superbowl #superbowlsunday #gofalcons

[ash-bakes]

Lazy dogs. #Athena #Max #dogsofinstgram #labrador #greatdane #labmix #greatdanemix