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Okay, so!!!! This post will have spoilers for the very end of Good Omens season 2, but I have a theory about that ending and I'll explain--

Something was bothering me, so I just went back and watched the ending like actually 30 times and I am fully 99.999999% certain they switched places

As they're pulling away after the kiss, they lock eyes and Aziraphale's expression shifts in the teeniest tiniest way, like a confirmation glance, before they shift back (and Michael Sheen is a master, so no chance it's not on purpose)

(Like really, go back and watch how Aziraphale's expression shifts literally *a second* before "I forgive you" cuz the change is SO minute, but entirely different emotionally.)

Aziraphale's hands -stay by his sides- after that, he doesn't clasp them at all, and it's particularly noticeable while he's walking to the elevator with Metatron.

The Bentley only ever plays other music for Aziraphale, but also Crowley drives away slowly, but ALSO Crowley's collar is fully turned down but you -can- see bits of the red underside in several scenes (particularly before he changes in heaven), but you don't see it -at all- after the kiss

And Aziraphale's face IS weird in the elevator like everyone says, BUT. after going back and watching both, I'm pretty darn sure that's cuz it's Michael Sheen's Crowley, it's the SAME as during Aziraphale's trial in season 1.

This also explains why they're on opposite sides than they're usually shown while the end credits roll.

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The Magic Trick You Didn’t See: Being An Analysis of Good Omens Season 2

(or: Neil Gaiman, Your Brain is Gorgeous But I Have Cracked Your Sneaky Little Code And Have You Dead To Rights*) (*Maybe)

***

Soooooo I just spent the last 48 hours having a BREATHTAKING GALAXY BRAIN EPIPHANY about Good Omens Season 2 and feverishly writing a fuckin16,000 word essay about the incredible magic trick that @neil-gaiman pulled off. 

Yes, it’s long, but I PROMISE your brains will explode. Do you want to know how magic works? Do you want to know what Metatron’s deal is (I’m like 99% sure of this and it’s EXTREMELY FUCKING GOOD)? Do you want to know about the Mystery of the Vanishing Eccles Cakes and the big fat beautiful clue I found in the opening credits? Do you go through the whole inventory of Chekov’s Firearm & Heavy Artillery Discount Warehouse? 

Here is the essay, go read it: https://docs.google.com/document/d/193IXS11XN46lziHRb6eUpM17yK0BQkRqke1Wh64A_e0/ When ur done u can tell me I’m an insane crackpot, and u know what, i won’t even be offended

In case you don’t know whether you want to bother reading the whole enormous thing on google docs, I’ve put the first couple sections of it under the cut. JUST TRUST ME OKAY, HEAR ME OUT, THIS IS VERY EXTREMELY COOL, NEIL IS GOOD AT HIS JOB–

Keep reading

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So there's a lot to unpack here but I want to start by talking about the ending and specifically about the Metatron and the calculating moves made at the end of episode 6.

Every single piece of what happened there was a manipulation technique being employed against Aziraphale to an almost brilliant degree and I'm honestly a little obsessed with what this says about the Metatron in particular.

Let's go in order.

First of all. We see him order coffee. In a human body. Something sweet and sugary. He talks to Nina and asks her about her shop name. Does anyone ever ask for death? And when she tells him no they don't his response is to say "so predictable". Our introduction to him here even when everything about him reads like a sweet old man is presented to show us someone who reads the world in terms of being predictable to him.

He then shows up in the middle of Aziraphale's existence being threatened. He immediately cuts down the threat's authority (using outdated language like Az himself would favor) and reemphasizes his own connection to Heaven. When Michael doesn't recognize him and he puts her down and then directly engages Crowley. Crowley who, to Aziraphale, has for centuries at a minimum been someone he thinks is smarter, better, more Good than these other archangels. The Metatron validates these beliefs. Crowley is more Heavenly than these archangels who couldn't even recognize the voice of God when he was standing right in front of them.

The Metatron draws attention to the fact he's in a human body. The kind of body Aziraphale has been in and loved for nearly 6000 years. He then banishes the archangels, implying their morality is in a gray space, and validates Muriel someone we have seen Aziraphale react positively to and someone outside the current power structure. Look at me, he's saying. I see and validate the little guy.

He then tries to talk to Aziraphale. Aziraphale says "I've made my position quite clear." And then the Metatron offers Aziraphale the coffee. This bartering chip, consuming sustenance, is a thing that Aziraphale and Crowley have used as their connective tissue for centuries. It's an olive branch for them. It's giving Aziraphale bodily pleasure and the Metatron implies that he himself has partaken also - a thing we know that Aziraphale has struggled historically with moralizing. He is seen by the closest thing he has left to his parent and he is having old fears validated as safe and old habits being played upon to make him feel secure

He then REMOVES Aziraphale from his home turf. Not only does he remove Crowley from the equation but he takes Aziraphale from the place that has stood as a place of sanctuary throughout the entirety of the season. The shop is Safe and Aziraphale is leaving it and he is leaving the one person who might be able to smell the bullshit coming from the Metatron. The music notably turns absolutely dire here.

The next time we see them the Metatron tells Aziraphale that he doesn't need to answer instantly. He can take his time, if he likes. All the time he needs. And then tells him to go tell Crowley. Once again bringing Crowley in as a valid part of this while manufacturing a scenario where he can't possibly be.

Az ends up in a place where he's overwhelmed and confused and he wants so badly to believe what he's being told. It's an appealing thing from his perspective! He feels off kilter like he's made a mistake in judging the Metatron. He can't even fully articulate what happened to Crowley at first and he's had absolutely no real time to actually think it through. He's running on sheer reactive energy.

The Metatron starts their conversation by asking Aziraphale's opinion. Who should rule Heaven? This is once again playing into making Az feel validated and like he's a part of this decision making process. The Metatron corrects him, complimenting Aziraphale and making him feel capable and in control. He reassures Aziraphale's bafflement. And draws attention to some traits that, while true of Aziraphale around Crowley, are not his defining traits in the eyes of Heaven. You don't just tell people what they want to hear I find particularly notable in this regard given Aziraphale spent most of his time on earth actively lying to Heaven and doing just that. But it fits into the narrative Aziraphale has built around himself, especially post Apocalypse. The Metatron then says I need you (a phrase Az will use much more painfully here in a minute).

And even after all this Aziraphale says no. He says flat out he doesn't want to go back to Heaven. He says this!!! And then the Metatron sweetens the pot. He swaps tactics. Not once has this come up until Aziraphale pushes back against the idea. If the Metatron could've gotten him without using it I have no doubt he wouldn't have bothered with it. Come to Heaven and we can save Crowley. Aziraphale loves Crowley. Aziraphale thinks Crowley is better than any of the angels he's interacted with. Crowley is Good and Nice and Kind and always saving him and now he's being presented with a way to return that. He can Forgive Crowley - a thing Crowley has always presented to Aziraphale as something he struggles with. All of these things Aziraphale has watched Crowley react to in a way that belittles himself or distances them from one another. Of course he wouldn't consider that maybe what he was actually saying is "I'm unforgivable and I don't want that forgiveness."

The Metatron offers Aziraphale a Dream Offer for the pre Armageddon Aziraphale. You can keep your Crowley. You can heal him like you have always thought he deserved. You can have power and control the people who for your whole existence has beaten you down. It can go back to how it was but BETTER.

When Aziraphale leaves he still hasn't answered. He goes and has the conversation they have. It's intense and emotional and the Metatron comes in after the Moment all casual and asks how it goes, knowing fully well the shitstorm he had just set up to get created. And then he turns around and says "always did want to go his own way" which is not only true of Crowley but framed as a bad thing despite the fact that he has just spent twenty minutes or so telling Aziraphale that he's done his own thing and that is Good. He is playing both sides of this perspective as it suits him. And then he cuts down Crowley asking questions, pressuring Aziraphale to avoid doing the same. He then proceeds to ask Aziraphale not if he's made up his mind but if he's ready to get started. He is one by one closing off exit routes to this thing as Aziraphale starts to look more and more panicked and indecisive. He makes sure the bookshop is in good hands and asks Aziraphale if there's anything he needs to take with him. Letting Aziraphale have the illusion of choice while cutting down "I don't want to" as an option altogether.

And Az, as soon as the Metatron is out of shot, tries to express this. And then he falls back right on old coping methods. The Metatron pats him on the head. Reassures that he's the right one for this. That he is Good. That his particular skillset is needed here.

It is a masterstroke of manipulation. A very dark twist on what we see Crowley do time and time again with Aziraphale throughout the millennia. Familiar in a way that makes Aziraphale feel safe. Except this time this is being used to put him back in line. It's brilliant and painful and it fucking hurt and I need a season 3 to see the Metatron get what's coming to him stat.

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Crowley and Aziraphale reacting to how the other would have died

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Sending you well wishes and hoping you're ok!

I’m doing alright, thanks for the well wishes! :D

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Ever since Neil Gaiman posted this ask, it’s been living in my mind rent-free. So let’s discuss: what language do Aziraphale and Crowley speak to one another? 

At first, I always thought that Aziraphale and Crowley would speak the language of the place where they were, because there was really no telling whether angels and demons still speak the same language.

But with Neil Gaiman’s post, consider: angels speaking the actual angelic tongue, and demons speaking a “dialect” of this angelic tongue. For reference, the Wiki definition of dialect is “a variety of a language characteristic of a particular group… dialects of a language are closely related and, despite their differences, are most often largely mutually intelligible.”

Coming from the same original stock, they would speak the same language initially, but demons would have to develop this language into something they could use (I suppose there are some words demons regularly use that angels would not, and vice versa). Plus, as time went on, presumably the angelic tongue that was spoken before the Fall would also change from what it originally was, as language does to accommodate the new context of the times.

But it could also be entirely possible that despite the deviations from the original angelic tongue, the angelic/demonic languages are still more or less the same, the way Heaven and Hell are depicted as being mirror images of each other, two sides of the same coin. In the same vein that good cannot exist without evil, the language they speak must contain elements of both for the language to have any meaning at all.

I imagine Crowley and Aziraphale speaking this angelic/demonic tongue throughout the years interspersed with bits from various human languages, because humans have concepts that would not occur to angels and demons and therefore would not exist in their language. For example: humor, sarcasm, metaphors - these things escape them, for the most part.

Imagine Crowley and Aziraphale speaking the angelic tongue with a hodgepodge of the languages they’ve learned over 6,000 years. They probably have words from ancient Sumerian back from when they were in Mesopotamia in their inside language that no human has heard in millennia. 

(It reminds me of how sometimes, multilingual people speak English and their mother tongue all in one breath. Sometimes, one word has a more appropriate meaning in one language, or maybe a word has no direct translation in the other. Or frankly, from personal experience, sometimes the brain is just stupid and can’t remember words – I use words from one language or the other to fill in the gaps.)

In the beginning when they first met, Crowley and Aziraphale spoke two different dialects of the original angelic tongue. They sort of understand more or less what the other is saying, but they’re not quite on the same page all the time. 

Today, they speak a language that makes sense only to the two of them, the angelic tongue with bits of French and Spanish and ancient Sumerian and ancient Greek and probably a bit of Chinese and a sprinkling of Filipino thrown in for good measure. A language totally incomprehensible to everyone except the two of them. They evolved their own language just from the sheer amount of time they’ve spent with each other on Earth. JUST IMAGINE.

One last note: Language is also nonverbal, and it is entirely possible that this nonverbal language also makes sense only to them. Makes you wonder… WHAT DOES ALL THIS PASSIONATE GAZING MEAN TO THEM? HMMM WHO KNOWS. WHAT A MYSTERY.

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Crawley felt a tingle against his palms, and realized with a jolt of dread that Aziraphale was trying to smite him, to overload his damned soul with so much blessing that he’d be drained of his power.  There was only one thing he could think of to do, only one option— because he couldn’t transform and get away, he wouldn’t be quick enough, and Aziraphale’s blessing had already transitioned from tingling to pressure—

Crawley pushed back, trying to curse and tempt and damn— pushing against Aziraphale, meeting Heavenly power with his own Hellish magic— fighting back against the holiness with his unconsecrated, corrupting super evil power—

And then he was staring at his own face, his snakish eyes confused, red hair long and tangled and windswept.  “What—?” Crawley said, and his voice wasn’t his own, it was Aziraphale’s—

[Five times Aziraphale and Crowley swap bodies, and one time they don’t]

My fic for the @do-it-with-style-events minibang, in collaboration with @ouidasart, whose incredible art can be found here!

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My illustrations for easier than air with air (if spirits embrace), the beautiful Good Omens Mini Bang fic by @asideofourown! I loved working on these so much and I’m super excited to finally post them °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

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Crawley felt a tingle against his palms, and realized with a jolt of dread that Aziraphale was trying to smite him, to overload his damned soul with so much blessing that he’d be drained of his power.  There was only one thing he could think of to do, only one option— because he couldn’t transform and get away, he wouldn’t be quick enough, and Aziraphale’s blessing had already transitioned from tingling to pressure—

Crawley pushed back, trying to curse and tempt and damn— pushing against Aziraphale, meeting Heavenly power with his own Hellish magic— fighting back against the holiness with his unconsecrated, corrupting super evil power—

And then he was staring at his own face, his snakish eyes confused, red hair long and tangled and windswept.  “What—?” Crawley said, and his voice wasn’t his own, it was Aziraphale’s—

[Five times Aziraphale and Crowley swap bodies, and one time they don't]

My fic for the @do-it-with-style-events minibang, in collaboration with @ouidasart, whose incredible art can be found here!

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current mood

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Recount your woes foul demon

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Inspired by @assiraphales post ❤️

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#grumpy angel

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87th Good Omens rewatch

so I was rewatching good omens, as one does, and I’ve noticed something interesting in this scene. 

i love how Aziraphale starts processing Crowley’s information at this point, like

and then

i mean LOOK AT HIM he’s questioning every life choice he ever made

this is how it went down right

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We know Crowley doesn’t know how animal reproduction works. In my headcanon, Aziraphale has no idea how plant reproduction works. 

Aziraphale: Do you think they miss their mothers?

Crowley: Who?

Aziraphale: Baby carrots.

Crowley: Angel, no…

—

Aziraphale: You can’t just clone plants, dear boy. Not without a lot of gadgetry or a miracle.

Crowley: You can though! S’ been done for centuries.

Aziraphale: Are you sure you haven’t just been miracling them by mistake?

Crowley: (series of frustrated, vaguely hissing noises)

—

Crowley: Are you telling me you actually thought baby tomatoes were babies?

Aziraphale: Similar to eating veal, yes.

Crowley: … You eat vEaL?!

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more good omens doodles hehehe

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Tender husbands